'This Kid's Probably Gay...' - with Matt Fishel
Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties
Shownotes Transcript
Can you really call yourself queer if you don't have a weird love/hate relationship with your home town?
Because even if you love the place that you're from and you had an idyllic childhood there's still that reckoning that you need to have with all of those feelings of isolation and anticipation judgement and scorn when you came to terms with your identity... and, sometimes even experiencing ACTUAL judgement and scorn.
Which brings us to today's guest (not that I'm asking you to judge and scorn him, just that this experience of feeling unwanted in his hometown is something that is familiar to him).
It's singer/songwriter Matt Fishel.
Matt grew up in Nottingham, England in the 90s, and, in this weird pre-internet age (when it wasn't always easy to discover gay bars) he found himself at what he thought was the only gay bar in town, The Mill.
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Takeaways
- Discovering one's sexuality at a young age can be a mix of happiness and depression, especially when unable to openly discuss it with others.
- Navigating through emotions and accepting one's sexuality is a personal journey that takes time and self-reflection. Coming out can be a challenging and traumatic experience, especially in a conservative and homophobic environment.
- Having a supportive network of friends is crucial in navigating the process of coming out.
- The timing and fears associated with coming out can vary for each individual.
- Validation and liberation are common feelings experienced after coming out.
- Media portrayals and societal expectations can create internal conflicts for individuals questioning their identity. Being gay in your teenage years can be a challenging and isolating experience, with the fear of being found out and the pressure to hide your true self.
- Finding gay spaces and opportunities to explore and practice your sexuality can be difficult, especially in smaller towns or communities.
- Media representation of healthy gay relationships was limited in the 90s, with many portrayals focusing on tragedy or stereotypes.
- Despite the challenges, discovering and embracing your sexuality can be a fascinating and liberating experience.
Matt reflects on his journey of self-acceptance and offers advice to young LGBTQ+ individuals to embrace their identity and explore the world beyond their immediate surroundings.