Healing Women Heals Mother Earth | Alyssa Macy
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I've just, from what I've learned is that, you know, again, I need to prioritize health and things around me need to fall into place so that I can do that. But that my spiritual health was something that I didn't put enough time and attention to. And cancer taught me that I needed to have that. And so now life is different in a good way.

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Hello, my respected people. My name is Santana Rabang. I come from Lummi through my mother and through my father. I come from Nooksack and First Nations Shwe village.

I am a daughter, an auntie, a student, activist, and canoe paddler. I'm so happy to be joined here today by Alyssa Macy, who is a citizen of the Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs, Oregon. She is the CEO of Washington Conservation Action, and overall just an amazing, strong, and powerful woman.

This podcast series will highlight women's leadership within grassroots movements, but most importantly, how they take care of themselves while being involved in high-level advocacy work. It's important we talk about how self-care is essential to being an advocate. While the movements we fight for are important, so is our mental health and well-being as women. So Alyssa, can you please introduce yourself, who you are, and where you come from?

Thank you so much, Santana. Hello, relatives. My name is Alyssa Macy. I was raised on the Warm Springs Indian Reservation in Central Oregon.

Today, I live on the lands of the Lummi Nation. I consider myself to be an activist, a relative, an auntie, a sister, and a caretaker of the planet, one of many, many. Thank you.

So as the CEO of Washington Conservation Action, can you please tell us about what type of work you're involved in? Sure, thank you.

Yes, I'm the CEO of Washington Conservation Action. We are a statewide environmental organization here in Washington state. We work both on the policy development side and we work on the advocacy side. So policy, working with communities to find solutions to address impacts of climate change, and then on the advocacy side, holding elected officials accountable and also helping to elect people

individuals that we believe will be good on environmental issues. Our work is mostly focused at the state level, so the state legislature, although we will do some federal advocacy work at times when the time calls for that.

Can you reflect on some of your work within advocacy and community organizing? Is there certain projects or movements that you've been a part of that are most memorable to you?

Yeah, that's a great question. So this year in the 2024 election cycle, one of the things that we have been really excited about working on is a Native Vote Washington program. This year, we invested over a million dollars in engaging with Native communities and specifically tribal communities.

This is an area that doesn't receive a lot of financial support to run campaigns or to get people out to vote. So our efforts with Native Vote Washington were very intentionally focused on tribal communities. We wanted to work with tribal governments and tribal communities to engage people around elections, get people excited, educate people on issues, and then ultimately get them to return their ballots, register and return their ballots.

So that has been a really fun piece of work. I've been doing Native vote work for 20 years this year. And so it's been really interesting to see what has changed and grown and what are some of the same challenges that exist today that existed in 2024 or 2004. I'm sorry. It's like hard to think that it was 20 years ago that I did this work.

So definitely still feel, still seeing a lot of folks that have voter apathy that are just not interested in voting. And then a lot of, I think, exciting things that we saw was that you have folks that don't want to vote and you also had a lot of folks that were interested in understanding what the issues are, who the candidates are that are running

and really could see the connection in their community between elected officials and things that happen in their community. So that was really exciting for me 'cause that demonstrates that people are paying more attention. Also in 2024, one of the things that Washington Conservation Action worked on was to defend the Climate Commitment Act,

which is the state's cap and invest policy that was passed in 2021. And we were very instrumental in working with tribal nations to help tribal nations understand why this program could benefit communities. And so we passed it and then started to implement. And then this year we had to defend it. It's a pretty brand new program, right?

So that was a really, that was a lot of hard work. There were a number of organizations, the Nature Conservancy, Climate Solutions, Clean and Prosperous Washington that helped set up the No campaign. And then we all just worked really hard to educate people why, you know,

Keeping the Climate Commitment Act was good for Washington state. So I think at the core of all of this work is relationships. And as an organizer, I've been an organizer since I was in college, which was way back in the 90s. The core of it is relationships. And it's been really...

fun to sort of be an organizer again and really spend time in community talking to people. I like people and I like talking to people and I enjoy being in communities and learning from people, hearing what they have to say. And so I think that the organizing piece is just how I live my life. Like I'm always organizing something, whether it's something with my mom or with a group of friends.

But organizing is about community and being in community with people. And so having that connection and relationships with people is about being in community with people. And that is a really healthy thing, I think, for just people in general, especially in times like today.

I feel like I got to witness all of this with you. So I accepted a fellowship through Native Vote Washington, and I got to travel with you a bit. And one of those trips was out to Macaw. And it was just so cool to see you, like literally organizing on the ground in communities with people. And yeah, it is all about relationships, like relationships.

To see the amount of people you knew in like different tribal nations was just so beautiful. That's when I feel most inspired is when we're actually on the ground doing the work, meeting people in person, talking to them and just getting that elderly input too and that knowledge that they share with us is just so wonderful.

rewarding? What would you say is the most rewarding thing that comes from doing that work? Yeah, I think part of what is rewarding to me is I value people's opinions and I value relationships that I have with people. I've shared with you before that I kind of had a hard go as a young person, right? And the way that I was able to

move through the world and through what felt like a really lonely time for me was I created my own family and Because I got to pick and choose people that I wanted to be in relationship with I really feel like I kind of got the cream of the crop like I got really amazing people that are like my people and

And being able to travel and be in community gives you an opportunity just to learn about how people are living and being able to go out to Macaw. I mean, it's so beautiful out in Macaw. It's just...

It's like breathtaking, right? Yes. And so being able to go there and then just taking a moment to close my eyes and imagine what it must have been like for the Makah people before there was ever contact. The life that they lived and the life that they continue to live. Their museum laid out this incredible story of this big house, this massive home.

home that people lived in and all of their technology. So I find that really inspiring to know a little bit about their history and then to see them in modern times still exercise and be proud of who they are. That inspires me to be proud of who I am and to keep going.

And I think that relationship building is sort of like what feeds me as a human. I don't think that we're wired to be alone. I just don't think we are. I don't want to be lonely. And so in order to not be lonely or to feel isolated or to self-isolate if I'm not in a good place, I go to those relationships and to those people. And that's what gives me life, right?

I will also say that this election year, one of the best things that I got to do with Native Vote Washington and the work that we were doing was to hang out with you and Bella and Free and Cyrus and folks from Children of the Setting Sun. That was completely unexpected, right? And that was really intense work. You know, we were, we camped for eight days. We camped for eight days. It rained for the entire time.

I was in the... Santana and I... Talk about community organizing at its finest. Santana and I were in a tent in Makah, and it rained. I have never been in a tent...

in a rainstorm as bad as I've been out in Neah Bay. Like that was like a whole experience. I have so many tarps from Neah Bay. But Santana and I stayed dry. If you need a tarp, we got you. I got you. So many tarps. You know, the thing that it just made me think a lot about was our resilience, right? We were hanging out in a tent under a tarp. We were dry. And I just kept thinking about

the people in that area that have lived in that area forever that didn't have a tarp, that didn't have a nice tent, that didn't have a cot to be up off the ground. Like all of the things that we had in that moment kept us dry. And then I was like, wow, these are strong people. They would live through this all the time.

And I'm sure they stayed dry and they did the thing. So it was kind of like the creator was, you know, teaching us a lesson at that moment about resiliency. And then also just about gratitude, about being thankful for things like so many tarps and having a little bit of humor in the moment and just sort of getting up and doing the thing like.

I think that was probably the coolest thing that I did all summer was to be out in Neah Bay in that moment and to spend time with you all. I really felt like out of all the stuff in this election cycle, the thing that was most enjoyable was I got to hang out with all of you. I love that. I feel like I took away a lot of lessons from McCaw. And I think just reflecting back, like,

There was a lot that happened that week. We were in straight rain. There was so much happening with like just mental, spiritual, you know, my mental and spiritual well-being. But I do feel like when I look back on that trip and coming back and then

talking with you about like my reflections of the trip. Like I really did learn a lot about myself on that trip. So I really appreciate you providing that moment for us and that space. As we're talking about all of our involvement and leadership and like high level advocacy work and community organizing, can you reflect on your personal experiences with

your health and wellness through your advocacy and leadership journey? Yeah, that's a great question. So what is most sort of at the front of my mind is what I've gone through in the last couple of years. In the beginning of 2022, I discovered a lump in my breast.

And by summertime, I had it was I was diagnosed with breast cancer, triple negative breast cancer, which is like not the basic cancer. It's like the special cancer that only 10 percent, 10 to 15 percent of women get. And I'm laughing when I say special because it is not special. Nobody wants to get cancer. I happen to get the type of cancer that wasn't genetic. It wasn't.

HR positive, hers positive. It wasn't like a cancer that they could say it was you got this because it's genetic or because of the receptors in your breast tissue. I got the kind of cancer that they said you were exposed to something and it developed into cancer.

So I'll never know what I was exposed to. I'll never know what I did, where I would have went, what I would have maybe consumed or anything. I'll never know what that cancer came from. What I do know is that it's very, very aggressive. And after the diagnosis, which was devastating to receive, I

I immediately started chemotherapy and did 15 rounds of chemo. I went every week for

three months and had these infusions of drugs that basically killed everything in my body. It wasn't, when you have this type of cancer, they can't target medication to just target that one thing. They basically just flood your entire system with drugs that kill everything. And so

So, um, it was a pretty awful experience. I then went on to have, after I was done with the chemo, I had a, uh, double mastectomy, um, because I also, there was some stuff on the other breast that was, but was benign, but they told me you're going to have to watch this for the rest of your life. Basically saying this could come back. And I said, I want to do everything I can to lessen

the chance of this coming back. So I had a double mastectomy. That was very traumatic to lose, like literally lose a part of your body. And then

I had a reconstructive surgery. So in all of that, I really, it was really scary. But at the very beginning of when I was diagnosed, it was like one of those things that brings you to your knees. Like you just, I was healthy. I was strong. You know, I was hiking all the time, backpacking, skiing, like doing all the things. I did not think that I was a candidate for cancer.

And so it did bring me to my knees. I did think that I was going to die. I was very afraid. And at that moment, I just I was praying and I said, whatever I'm supposed to learn from this.

I am open to that. I don't think this, I don't, I am just a firm believer that things don't happen for just randomly. Right. I think that the things happen in your life, um, to help you learn things. Um, sometimes you have to have this happen multiple times cause you don't learn. Um, so hopefully I learned, I'm learning what I needed to know, but I prayed a lot.

And it really has changed me as a human being. First of all, like my health is a priority. And that means that the things in my life need to adjust so that I can prioritize my health. It's not that it's not that I need to like,

flip the table and do everything. I just need to be intentional about making time. And so I got a therapist as part of that experience with cancer because I needed to talk to somebody about what I was going through because it didn't just affect me, it affected the people around me. It affected my team that I work with at WCA because somebody had to pick up the things that I couldn't do.

And so it was like this moment where I had to ask for help. So if anybody who knows me, they will know that I don't ask for help. I have been hyper independent my whole life. That is a response of just like not having parental figures when I was growing up. I've always just depended on myself and I just never asked for help. I just would put my head down as a young person and keep moving forward. There was never a plan B.

And so what cancer, this experience of cancer taught me was to ask for help. And so I literally, it would make me like want to crawl out of my skin to get on the phone and call people and say, hey, I'm going to need some help. And people were so willing to help and offered to help. And I was so appreciative of that. And the thing that I learned, a lot of things that I learned from that was one, just asking for help. That was both at my job.

asking for help and also with my family and friends asking for help and then I folks kept saying well what can we do what can we do for you and I was like I don't know write me um I've my whole life I've been writing people postcards and and random things I like I like snail mail I just like it

And, uh, so I asked folks to write me and I got hundreds of letters from people, cards and postcards and, um, and all these people told me how much they loved me. Now I'm going to cry. Um, they told me how much they loved me and I didn't know that I needed to hear that. You know, I didn't know that, that that was something that was missing for me. And, um,

So having that opportunity for people to just express what they thought about me, to tell me how much they loved me or how much they appreciated me was such a gift because I had been walking through my life, a lot of my life, thinking that I was by myself. And how lucky am I to know how much love that I have? You know, and so as hard as like the cancer part has been,

Because cancer and just like dealing with what happened to my body, like I'm still processing what's happened to my body because it's not the same and it's not as strong, but it's healthy. And I'm so thankful for that.

Processing, like the mental impact of that means that I have to do the things that I know that make me feel good. Like, you know, I live in Lummi and I spent a lot of time in the water because that's what helped with the pain. And I would go out there and I would sing, sing wash it songs as loud as I could. And it would make me feel better. Went to ceremony. We did all of those things. And like,

I've just, from what I've learned is that, you know, again, I need to prioritize health and things around me need to fall into place so that I can do that. But that my spiritual health was something that I didn't put enough time and attention to. And cancer taught me that I needed to have that. And so now life is different in a good way. My mom came back in my life.

You know, we haven't had a good relationship my whole life. My mom came back. She lives with me now. I got real clear on who were my people and I realized like I have all these people that love me. How amazing is that? I learned to ask for help. I work with a really amazing group of people at Washington Conservation Action, not only the staff but the board. And

I have figured out that like,

I don't have to do everything for everybody. I don't have to fix everything for everybody. Like being sick also forced me to set boundaries. Like, no, I literally can't do that. Like literally also don't want to. Um, and so saying no. So there was like a lot of these things that happened during that time that I learned that I continue to hold very closely. The most important one that I hold the closest is that relationship with the creator.

and really sort of making sure that I'm in a daily practice of gratitude and prayer because that's actually what feels like it can lift what I feel sometimes like physically sits on my chest, like the pressure of work and, you know, wanting to do good things and running an organization and helping people along, like sits on me. It feels heavy at times. Yeah.

prayer and and having a relationship with the land and the Creator is what helps to lighten that load and so I know that there's no path forward for for me personally without having that practice like I don't think that I will I can survive if I don't have that practice thank you for sharing all that and

Being so open and vulnerable with me. I'm such a strong firm believer on there's so much strength in vulnerability and when we're able to share that with one another because there's a lot of people that can't express themselves or Express their emotions So I just want to thank you for

sharing that all with me you're such a strong woman Alyssa and I know you we've all been through so much in our lives but to hear you talk about you know your journey with cancer is just really powerful you know there's strength in that story and you know I'm gaining strength by just

listening to you talk about it. So I just appreciate you sharing with me. Thank you. I know you touched on it a little bit with, you know, going to the water and putting Crater first. And I witnessed you sing a song at the beach in Macaw myself. So I know that that's important to you. When you're going through these dark times and in these dark spaces where sometimes we

You know, our journey gets heavy with the amount of work that we put on our shoulders when it comes to advocating on behalf of our communities, our bodies, Mother Earth. What is it that you do that outside of those things of how you continuously take care of yourself, like,

Not only just mentally and physically, but spiritually as well, because it's holistic, you know, it's all holistic.

connected. So how do you how do you cater to those? Yeah, that's a great question. You know, we we exist in a world where we do a lot of sitting, you know, we sit in front of a computer or we're sitting on our couch scrolling on our phone like because of my overuse of my phone like my hand hurts, right? Like you get the thumb the thumb thing people get so being intentional about disconnecting from all of the noise is

The noise, in my opinion, whether it's from social media, from the TV, from, you know, whatever you're consuming is like this constant noise in your life. And...

when you are surrounded and inundated with that noise, it doesn't allow your mind to like have peaceful moments. And I think that's really important to have those peaceful moments, like to have, like to let your body rest.

Because as you're looking at these things, like it's your body's reacting in a lot of ways. And, you know, some of the stuff that we see on social media is really toxic and really sort of like it's heartbreaking, right? And I'll speak specifically to what we are seeing on social media in regards to what's happening in Palestine, in Gaza. We are witnessing a live stream of genocide.

And that has a psychological impact on our bodies. One, it's horrific and this should not be happening. And we're consuming it. And I do not want to be desensitized to that sort of stuff. It makes me angry. I feel helpless sometimes.

You know, so I am very intentional about like, there are things that I need to do in that I can do that I think that I can do to address what I think is a horrific injustice. And then I also need to take time to like not consume a lot of this stuff that that is like really hanging heavy on me so that I

disconnection from the noise is really important. And one of the things that I like to do is I like to hike. I enjoy being out in nature. I love to camp. I like to explore. We know you love camping, girl. So my whole life I have been this explorer. And so taking a camera, grabbing my backpack, going out into the woods and like hanging out and just being like a kid, like I'm curious.

about what I see out there. It's like this joyfulness that I find in kicking over the rocks and seeing what's underneath them or walking out when the tide's out and looking and seeing what's out there. I find joy in that. And it's like an opportunity to be filled with awe.

And when you have that opportunity to fill with awe, it like does something to your body, right? It reminds you how amazing this world is and how powerful and beautiful Mother Nature is. All of the creations that she has, they all serve a purpose, right? And so when you can unplug and, you know, kind of focus on that, there's something that I think comes from that that's good for your body.

Uh, surgeries that I've gone through in the last couple of years have just done all sorts of stuff to my body. Um, sitting does all sorts of stuff to your body. I've been practicing yoga for a really long time. Like, I don't know, over 20 years. And so I stretch a lot and, um,

I do that to like release the tension out of my body. It's good no matter what age you are is to be flexible. Flexible, having a flexible body is having a healthy body. And so spending time with my body to do that is a practice that I do almost daily.

And so that doesn't have to be like, I get all my, I get on my yoga stuff and I take my yoga mat and I go to the yoga studio. Yeah, you could do that. You can also just do it at home. You could go outside and do it. Like you don't need to have all those things to have a practice in stretching. Like you can just do that.

So I think that's really important for folks to do. So, you know, it's wintertime, it's getting close to wintertime. So now it's time to ski. And so I'll be hopefully getting to do some of that this year. And then just finding things to keep me busy. What I said this winter was I wanted to create.

So my mom and I dug out all of our beads that we've been collecting since like time immemorial. I don't know. I'm not even a beater. I'm not even a beater. And I like go to shipwreck beads and buy beads. Like what am I thinking? So one day. One day. And that day is now. It is going to happen. So I'll be stringing beads.

But it's the time to create, right? Wintertime, you just kind of hold up at home. So we got all our stuff out. You know, that'll really teach you patience too because that needle when you're trying to pick up every single bead. You know what? I'm just at a point in my life like I'm kind of accepted that I'm not going to be a beader but I can string a mad bead

beads. We were talking about this hard when we were camping. We're like, we want a bead. We want a weed. So weed. Can fish. Can fish. Make fry bread. Make fry bread. Bright hair.

Okay, so we're still working on all those things just for the record. No, and we will accomplish one of them at the end of our life. I would be good if I would accomplish. I don't need to be good at everything. I literally don't need to be good at everything. No, any one of those will all suffice. Yeah. Any one of those. Yep. So I'm going to do some creating this winter. And so we dug out all the things and you should come over. We can make some earrings.

So, so just like finding those things, my mom and I spend time together. That's very important. We have been doing a lot of healing in the last couple of years and that has been a beautiful thing. This has been a really busy year for me. I haven't been able to do a lot of pow-wowing, but I am a dancer. I'm a Northern traditional dancer. I am not like the dancer that goes and wins.

Um, I am a hundred percent goal with that. I'm the dancer that goes and dances because I love it and it makes me happy and I feel good. So hopefully over the winter time, maybe some round dances, maybe some pow wows, maybe hang out at the smoke house, maybe go to the long house. Maybe I'll get to go to the big house. I don't know, but those are the type of opportunities that I am looking forward in this time of year.

And work is always there and I'm doing my best to leave work at work.

And when I'm not working and we have a culture of this at our organization, like we when it's when you're not working, you're not working. Like we don't text each other off off off on the weekends. We people you don't get a lot of emails from people over the weekends because I genuinely want people to not work on their time off and give their bodies a rest and do the things that

in your life that bring you joy. Work is always going to be there. The most important things that we have in our lives are ourselves and our relationships and our family and our friends. That's the most important thing. And so we should always prioritize

spending time with that, with your people, whoever they are, your people, that should be the priority, whether it's your, your immediate family, whether it's your children, where it's your circle of friends, like that is the most important thing in your life. It's never going to be a job. Even if you love your job, if you love your job, that's awesome. I'm so happy for you, but that is not the most important thing. It is always going to be that

that family, your friends and family, you never get time back. You never get time back. So it's important to not use your time in a way that takes away from that those relationships in your life because you never get that back. Going through cancer taught me that time that I don't have all the time in the world. You know, I have to live with with the possibility that this comes back. I'm cancer free right now.

But this could come back. And so I have to use my time wisely. So I'm not going to use all my time, you know, working and not having fun, not spending time with my friends, not going to see the people that I might want to visit or taking that vacation or going to that powwow or doing whatever, right? You never get that time back. And for me, facing...

facing the possibility of my own death was really that eye opening like, whoa, I'm not in, you know, like I'm not indestructible. You know, time is precious. How do I want to spend that? And so really shifting that mindset to say, I do not want to spend my time being in conflict with people, being resentful to people, trying to fix people.

Like it's not my job to fix people or to do things that don't bring me joy, right? Not everything is going to be joyful. Some things are just like, okay, I got to wash the dishes. I hate washing dishes. Needs to be done, right? Not everything is going to be joyful, but you can pick the things in your life that are the most joyful, right? We do have some tasks that are not always fun that we have to do, but prioritizing things

reprioritizing my time, I feel lucky that I got this lesson. Because what if I would have just been going off doing as I had always been doing, right? Not knowing how precious time is. Not ever having that moment where I had to stop and see that it wasn't always going to be there. So

You know, I'm a better person because of cancer. I can say that unequivocally. I would never want somebody to have to go through cancer to be a better person. But I know that I came out on the other side a better human being. So I'm weirdly thankful. You have such a positive outlook on life now. Weirdly thankful that I got cancer. It's like...

I would never thought ever I would say those words, but you know what it brought my mom's back to me It brought all these this love in my life it get got things got really clear So I am thankful that I went through that experience so that I could know this now Yeah, and it shifted your your outlook on everything it did. I mean we were literally in pissing rain for like five days straight and you're like this is great and

And I was like looking at her like, yeah. And I think just like from that moment on, I've just, I've noticed that's just like your aura that you carry. That's just so beautiful. And so, yeah.

It's rubbing off on me. Oh, good. That's awesome. You know, we have so much to be thankful for. And I've traveled. I've had the opportunity to travel to lots of parts of the world. And our experience, even though things are hard here, our experience here in this country, we have so much more in this country than other countries do. We should be grateful that, you know, we should be grateful we could turn on a water faucet and water comes out.

or that we have a toilet that we can flush, you know, a roof overhead. Not everybody's experiencing that. We have more resources in this country than most other nations. We should be able to do things like fix issues around people not being able to have a home. You know, we should be able to provide health care to all people.

We should be a country that welcomes people coming into this, into our country to who are helping our economy and who are also trying to take care of their families. Right. We have so much wealth in this country. We have the ability to solve problems in ways that most countries don't. We just don't want to. And we have to want we have to want that. I want that. I want that.

future for the people that I love, the little people that I love, to be healthy, to have a good education, to have homes, to be able to be as native as they want to. You know, I want our languages to thrive. I want our cultures to thrive. I want organizations like Children of the Setting Sun to be able to tell all the stories. I want those things for people and we can do that.

here in Washington State. We have that, that path is in front of us. We just have to move into it and say yes. There's so much opportunity, especially in this moment in history, right? In the United States. Washington State is a place where I think dreams are going to be very possible in the next four years. And, um,

And we're going to have a lot of hard work to do. And I just wake up every morning pretty much defiant. And I'm like, I'm ready to fight. Whatever that looks like, I'm ready to do it. Yes. Get up and go. Get up and go. We got work to do. Warrior up. Yep, warrior up. I love everything that you shared today. I feel...

I feel really good. I knew that this would make me feel good. I was like, I've been not feeling good. And in the moments where I don't feel good, like that's when I ask myself, what will make me feel good? And it's culture, it's community, it's family. It's most recently whenever I'm like in the presence of like strong, powerful women, that's, I feels like it rubs off on me. So I ended up leaving like, I'm strong, I'm powerful, you know? So,

I knew sitting with you would make me feel really good. Is there any advice that you would give any young indigenous women who are, you know, whatever journey they may be on right now, what advice would you give them when it comes to prioritizing their health and wellness and their well-being as women? Yeah.

- Yeah, well we have to take care of our spirit.

And I think that's the most important thing. And you don't need, it doesn't need to look like going to a church. You know, it doesn't mean that you have to go to the smokehouse. Like you can have a relationship with the higher power anywhere at any moment. Like that's the beauty of, I think, our cultures is we've been taught that it's all around us. And I believe it's all around us.

And so choosing to be still for a while, getting in the practice. I am learning to be a person that does a better job meditating. Like, you know, my mind typically goes squirrel. And then I, you know, start focusing on something else. Dog. Dog. Yes, we did that earlier, right? So I have been really very intentional of just like sitting and not doing anything and just like

making my mind quiet, working on my breathing. When I get stressed out, my breathing does weird stuff and that's something I've learned about my body. And so really focused on like disconnecting from social media, TV, all that stuff, getting outdoors, walking, doing whatever sort of exercise that you like,

Stretching is something we should all do because a flexible body is a healthy body. You don't have to go to yoga studio to do that. You could literally do that at home. So taking care of spirit, taking care of body, and then in your mind, I think we live in a society that is very patriarchal and there's a lot of misogyny out there and

And a lot of young women are receiving message or being treated in a way that is trying to tell us that our voices don't matter, that we are incapable of making our own choices, that we are not smart enough to offer anything to this world. And I'm here to tell you that that's bullshit.

We have so much to bring to the world. And I think women lead differently. We are people who are intrinsically caretakers. So when we lead, we are also trying to take care of the people. And there is so much power in that, right? Part of what has happened in the greater society is some people think that the only folks that can lead are men.

And and that that is the only solution. And time and time again, I see women in leadership positions doing incredible work over and over and over. So what we're being told is not true. Women lead all the time. They do transformational, powerful work. They're taking care of people. So you are valuable now.

And you have gifts to offer the world. We all have a gift. Nobody showed up without something. We all showed up with something, say maybe more than one or two, right? But it's your job to understand what that is. And so you have to have that relationship with yourself. And I think it's...

It's good for folks to get a therapist, like to have a person to talk to. Like we need that. It should not be something that we are shamed about. I think it's really a positive thing to just have a sounding board about how you're feeling. And we have a responsibility to ourselves to

to work through the things that we're carrying. We all want to carry everything. We're like the bag lady, right? We're the bag lady in Erykah Badu's song, right? We're carrying around all this stuff. You don't have to carry it all around. You don't. You really don't. You can set some of that stuff down. We are carrying more than we need to because we feel obligated. And quite frankly, we can't fix everything.

We just can't. And so what is in our sphere of control and influence, that's what we should be focusing our efforts on. So I think we're heading into a time where we need to like really be very mindful about this is what I know I can change or influence.

And then the rest of this noise out here, and there's a lot of it right now, I can't change that. All I can do is focus on what's in my immediate circle. And if there was ever a time that we need to be in community and out of isolation, it's now. And so since the election, I've been on the phone with a lot of folks that I've been organizing with and working with for decades. And I was like, what do we do now?

How are we in community? What do you need from me? How can I support you? Right? I know I can't fix everything, but what I know I can do is be in relationship with other folks, be inspired, show up when people need me to show up, take care of myself during this time. And I don't have to solve every problem. And so I think part of like young women, I wish I would have known more

my 20s that I didn't have to fix everybody I didn't have to save people who were in their addiction and that was a lot of my my my time growing up in my 20s was really like trying to save these people who are in their addiction and and that was like the hardest thing for me to to understand that I couldn't change them and letting folks go

And I let folks go. I let folks that I love that are so important to me, I had to let them go because they chose to be in that addiction. And I kept trying to fix them. And they did not want to be fixed. They fixed themselves eventually. That was great. But I had to teach myself that I cannot fix you. And it's not my responsibility, especially as a young person. So what I know to be true, when I talk to young folks,

A lot of people are dealing with parents that are in addiction and they carry this thing like I'm gonna fix them and That's not your job. It's not your job to fix them. They got to fix themselves you deserve young people deserve to have a future and a life of your own and and don't wait till you're

going through cancer to understand that, right? Like, I wish I would have understood that a lot younger. I don't think my nervous system would have been wrecked. I don't think I would have been like anxious or, you know, disappointed and constantly disappointed. And then I didn't know at that time that I actually was free to dream my own future. And

I still have done a lot in my life, but could I have done something different? Would my path have been a little bit different if I would have let go the things that I couldn't change? And that's a hard thing to go through because our communities, there's a lot of addiction in our communities, but our young people, it's not your job to fix that. And I wish that I had an auntie at that time who would have said that to me and just said, girl, go live your life. You deserve that.

Go be who the creator wanted you to be, you know, and that's like one of those things that, you know, I'm thankful that I know now, but it took a really long time to get there. And those relationships healed themselves. I'll say that like those relationships in my life, those people, they healed themselves, but I had to let them go in order to do that.

And so I think that for me, that's the one thing that I wish our young, especially our young women would know that you don't have to fix everything. You deserve to have a life. That's not your responsibility.

You can love people from a distance. That is real. There's a lot of people I'm like, I love you and stay over there. Stay over there. Just love you from over here. Like that care bear with the heart. Like, that's me. I'm sending you all the love. But I'm going to be over here. Yeah. Right. You got to protect your own spirit. No, that's so valid. I feel like.

You shared some advice with me when we came back from a call when I came over to your house to talk with you and I've carried with it with me ever since. And I feel like it was just one of those life moments where you you'll take that lesson and you'll carry it with you forever. And I've been practicing that lesson a lot, actually, surprisingly, because it was like you made me realize like, OK, so when I'm

in a sensitive spot in my healing journey, I have a hard time compartmentalizing like what's true and like what's not, you know, I interpret things differently. Someone can say something to me and they can mean it in a way. And I'll, I'll take it in the complete opposite way because I'm just internalizing pain and trauma and, and projecting to projecting, um,

you know, insecurities, projecting trauma. And, you know, when we went on that trip to Macaw, I was, had just buried my cousin and I did his eulogy and I've never, never done a eulogy before. And I was all, I'm also still pretty sensitive in my breakup, you know, which you and I have connected over and, and that's,

something I'm experiencing in itself is just heartbreak in general. But the thing that you shared with me was to know myself and learn myself well enough that when I'm in those moments like that, that I can take a step back. And I needed to do that with Makah and I didn't. I still chose to go on the trip, even though I knew that

It probably wasn't a good idea and I wasn't in the space for it. But then that next trip came and I was like, no, I'm going to put my foot down and create that boundary for myself. And I've been doing that. Like I have been taking quite a few mental health days because I'll come into the office and I'll just, someone will say hi to me and I'm like irritated. It's just like, it's, it's just like, I know myself well enough to,

And it's not really like that. They won't really say hi and I'll get irritated, but it will, it will like some type of interaction or conversation with someone that will leave me feeling like irritated, agitated, like,

Annoyed whatever and that's when I know like okay Santana you need to take a step back because you love these people you care for these people like why would you Ever want to make anyone feel the way that you're feeling right now, and I think that's where I came That's what I'm trying to move away from because all throughout high school. I was like a bully like I

I was really angry in school and I burned a lot of bridges. I pushed a lot of people away. And then you just get up to a point in your age where you're like, am I going to allow my trauma or my pain to define who I am as a woman, as a person? Or am I going to battle against that and become something that I know is not that, you know, my pain doesn't define me. My trauma doesn't define me. So yeah,

I just thank you for that little lesson. I don't remember how you said it, but you were just like, you need to know yourself well enough or learn yourself, start learning yourself well enough so that when you get in moments like that, you can take a step back and be like, hey, I'm just not in the headspace for this or whatever it may be. And just knowing yourself well enough to just take a step back and learn.

just reflect on why you're feeling the way you're feeling, you know, because so many feelings, especially insecurities come up. And I always try and ask myself, like, well, what is the root of that? And why are you feeling, feeling the way you do? I love this for you. I'm so glad that that conversation has been helpful for you.

I think you are, and I said this to you, I think you're a very powerful person and you're already doing such incredible work. And for me, it's just, um, I am inspired by the things that you're doing. And like every time I see you on Tik TOK, when you're out in these war canoes kept out, I'm like, Whoa, you gotta be so, I mean, to me, that's so bad-ass. Like it's just so bad-ass. Um, I, um,

found out that I'm not a canoe paddling Indian. I'm like a support crew Indian. Like, I'm just gonna be real honest. That was canoe journey. My one little, my one little experience was so, um,

Hard. Maybe there'll be another one. But I was like, yeah, I just I think I'm camp crew. And I'm okay with that. Right. So you're doing so many amazing things. And I love that you are taking that moment to just pause and reflect like what's coming up because you physically feel things right when when when you are feeling triggered or agitated.

um having a rough day like you didn't sleep enough or you're just grumpy right then somebody says something and then it's like you can feel it physically manifest in your body and being able to pay attention to that and ask that question like what's going on right now what am i feeling is so powerful

And I have to do it all the time in my job. Like sometimes I'm working with people that I might not really like all that much. And then my irritation, like I will feel that irritation come up and then I'll just kind of have to check myself. Like, what is this about? Can I fix this? Is this something that I have any control over? And if it's a no, then I'm like, yeah, you should probably not put any energy in this. And just like focusing on that energy on,

on sort of being in my person, being in my body,

paying attention to what's coming up, and then when I need to step out, sometimes I step out, right? And that's just a really important skill as you get older, 'cause especially if you work in a world of politics like I do, you are constantly dealing with people that you may not like, right? I can't just go roll it up and be a total jerk about things. I still wanna get work done, and I do believe in being collegial with people,

and want to be able to have a conversation. Some conversations are really hard. They're gonna make me mad, but I'm not gonna ever let somebody like shake me to the point where I have an explosion. I wanna be the type of person that's like, we're on the chessboard and that's how I'm thinking strategically and with diplomacy.

And being smart about what comes out of my mouth because like once it comes out, you can't put it back, right? And understanding how I show up in that moment could impact something six months down the line, a year down the line, right? Relationships are important. I don't expect to be besties with everybody, but relationships are important when you do political work because you want to be able to pick up a phone and talk to folks. So I can't just like...

show up and show out and be crazy. You know, I have to show up and

try to be collegial in moments that are really really hard so I am constantly checking myself and sometimes I just have to go outside and like kick and scream and like punch the air and then I can be like okay I'm all right all right all right I had my my moment my moment like I freaked out now but I'm back but I'm back right and that's okay right that's okay like just understanding and being able to to be there um to get yourself there is really important because people

People test me all the time. Like they really do. And I'm just like, oh yeah, not today. Not today. I know that's, that's what's next is, is not allowing people to take me back. Yep. You know, I just want to continuously move forward. Yep.

And of course, we'll have setbacks here and there, but I don't want them more often than they've been. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, you can, people are so more powerful than you know. Like I think this is especially for young folks. Like you are way more powerful than you know. And as part of like understanding and stepping to your own power, you have to be able to also understand that.

you know, when things are not going great because sometimes there's consequences, right? And so being able to accept your role in response, like your role in situations that are not always good, right? Is also really powerful.

Conflict only exists when two people are engaging with one another. And so there is no such thing as like, oh, conflict and it's all one person's fault. Like actually it's everybody that's involved in that. Everybody has a role. Like if somebody says something to you and you respond,

And that response is really disrespectful, even though what they but you may perceive what they're saying is disrespectful, like, OK, so you engaged in it. And and so now you have created this energy between the two in a situation that's about conflict, arguing, whatever it is, and.

You know, one of the things I know about myself is if I get in an argument, like it gets really hot, like something's going to probably come out of my mouth that I'm going to regret. I've known that from my past. And so I also know that when I get in those moments, I'm like, hey, this is not a good time for us to have this conversation. Things should cool down before you and I talk. Yeah. And then like just stepping away from it and not getting to the point where,

I get so angry that I say something that I can't take back because that could be harmful and contribute to like a relationship, that relationship not being able to like be better, be healthier.

All the things. So got to be accountable for your own behavior. And so I love that. That's what I'm hearing you're saying is I am accountable to how I'm showing up. Like I am recognizing what I'm doing that does not make me show up in my best self. So I'm going to change that and I'm going to do something different. And that is so incredibly powerful. If everybody in the world could do that, the world would be in such a better place. Everyone start doing that now. Yes, please.

Okay, well, thank you for spending this time with me. I had such a good time with you and just sitting here and talking with you provided healing for me for the day. Since this podcast series is going to be highlighting healing,

women's leadership and advocacy, but specifically talking about how they take care of themselves while they're doing it. Is there any last words that you want to share in regards to that? Yeah. Yeah. I think the last thing I want to share is this is the time for us to lead with love.

You know, I know that we care deeply about our communities and about the future of our communities. And leading with love for me means that, you know, taking care of myself, loving myself, loving the people around me, thinking about the future and and like.

being open to the possibilities of what the future can be. We got to keep dreaming. We got to keep putting forward what we want to see for our collective future. You know, young folks especially, we need more young folks in this movement. We need more young people to start stepping up and learning and leading because everything that we're doing, we're going to hand off to you. Like the baton is being passed.

And it's a big responsibility. And so leading with love is just knowing that we're taking care of ourselves in a way to step into that power and that leadership. And even with all the things that have happened since the election, you know, there's a lot of, I think, sort of grieving and shock.

But the possibilities are still there and here in Washington State. I think we can do really great things so young folks young women All people in our communities just need to remember how much we love one another Love our families that love is going to drive us to do incredible things going forward and and I'll be here with all of you Through that I'll be right here. Well, I love you. Thank you. I love you, too

I guess I want to ask one more question before we end. Is there something today? Is there anything today that you're going to do that caters to your mental, spiritual or physical well-being? Like, is there something today that you're just going to do for you to make you feel good? Yeah, I am going to go. I'm going to take a little walk. I'm hoping it doesn't.

it looks questionable out there. If it does storm, then I'm gonna just stretch. I also dug out my jumping rope, which is actually terrific cardio.

And I found it digging in a box and I was like, yeah, I have a jump rope. So we should totally, I bought a jump rope on Amazon and never used it. But I have it. I have one that I never used either, but I'm going to use it. That's a really easy thing to do. And so I know that I'm like, I just need to do cardio. So I want to get my heart rate up today in something good. And

And then probably just maybe try to make a set of earrings. Like my mom is super creative. I'm like the type of creative where I can get so far, but I can never get

finish it and so my mom and I will sometimes like I'll make stuff and then she'll finish it and then I'll be like look what I made I totally did not fully make it because my mom has to help me um which is awesome so I really want to do something because I rearranged all of our stuff to bring out all of these beats and um so I want to start getting like start doing some things

Next year I'm having a fancy dance special on behalf of my dad back in Warm Springs. And so that's, I want to have gifts. And so I'm going to have to make some things. And so we'll be, that's part of the winter stuff is just to get that creating. Because I need to do something with all those beads I bought from Shipwreck.

collected. I have so many beads. It's obscene. Not her buying beads. I know, right? I got all the beads. That's what should motivate you to do it though, right? Is I have all these beads. Yep. And I spent all this money. I spent all this money and all of a sudden I got to do something with it. Yeah. So just, you know, like getting outside and doing something creative. And then also I have been reading a chapter, a chapter a night in a book. So that's also been good because I

I used to be an avid reader, but then I just would never make time. And so turning the TV off and like, just, I'm like, just read one chapter. And I think once I, if I keep doing that, when I keep doing that, I will sort of be able to dive back into reading like I used to. So it's kind of a slow down time. I mean, the elections were intense and I was super tired. And, and now I'm just like, okay, the work doesn't stop.

but it doesn't need to be that intense. And then again, kind of clearing my table to do stuff. So looking forward to winter time and maybe by springtime, we'll have so many earrings. I believe you. I believe in you. Awesome. I'll hold you accountable to it. Awesome. Okay. Well, you definitely inspired me. I don't know what I'm going to do today, but just sitting here and talking about health and wellness and me just been being in such a dark space for so long.

I want nothing more to prioritize my health and wellness. And I think this just helped that even more. So I just appreciate you for sharing this time with me. Yeah, thank you. And that's it. That's it. We're going to go take care of ourselves today. Go eat some more of those raspberries. Yes. That was fun. That was so good.

Hi for tuning in to another episode of Young and Indigenous podcast. This episode is produced by Santana Rabang, Ellie Smith, John Carroll, and Roy Alexander. Original music by Keith Jefferson, Blackhawk Singers, Smakya, and Nichols.