BT English02: What is the meaning of life?
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Have you ever had this kind of question? What is the meaning of life?I have held this question in my mind for a long time. and I am still on my way to find an answer. This is Yvonne, and welcome to today's BT English. The「meaning of life」question happened to me six years ago, when the first time seems like I screwed everything in my life. I have done with a three and a half year relationship with a man who i thought was my soulmate. And meanwhile, my boss, a man with whom I could worked well, left and got his startup. Yes, i did look failed in every aspect of my life. And then, i was lost, I couldn't  find myself a reason to proceed. I even had a thought to end my life. The only reason that i didn't do that is my family. It seems like, 「the meaning of life」for me at that moment was having both a very great intimate relationship and a very great performance in my career. I couldn't find any other reasons to cheer me up. I lost all the meanings of life. Four years later, when the virus hit the whole world in 2020, I started to think about this question second time. Because of the pandemic, I have been living at home, in my hometown for nine months with my parents. Suddenly, I didn't have anything else to do except cooking every meal for my family. I spent plenty of time to learn more about cooking: how could i keep the taste and texture of food without losing any nutrition. And how could we, my parents and I, keep fit in quarantine. I had a lof of detailed question to tackle and I had zero time to find the meaning of life. And gradually, I found my value in doing these chores. I enjoyed myself in cooking a meal, doing exercises at home with my parents, sharing my thoughts, my ideas with them. I didn't think i had to find a reason to live. I was living with the person whom i had been loving more than anybody on Earth. I didn't intend to find an answer for the "meaning of life" question any more, i just live my life with it. One day, Niki asked me,"have you ever found the meaning of life?", coz I told her i was reading some books about philosophy. "Not yet", i replied, "I think i have to read more books and i am on my way to find the ultimate answer. "But recently, I have something new in my mind. I read a book named <lectures on modern western thought>(《西方现代思想讲义》) written by professor 刘擎. He mentions 19 intellectuals in this book who were or who are among the greatest philosophers in modern period. I was enlightened by these greatest thinking mind: maybe finding the meaning of life is meaningless, is effortless, coz there is no such a clear definition or concept. Everybody would held their own interpretations of life. The meaning of life would be too diverse and too amorphous to define. In other words, nobody except yourself could tell you what is the meaning of your life. I would have told you guys that i found the meaning of life. But in fact, I can't. We, human beings, always want a short-cut in life. We wanna get some authentic questions before examinations; we wanna know how to make easy money; we would better win a game without much practice. We long for an exact meaning of life. But there is no short-cut in life till the day you die. You have to live your own life day by day, just like playing the piano, if you wanna get some improvements, you have to practice and practice, many, many times. Ok, I think i am gonna call it a night.and at the very end of this episode. all i wanna say is that instead of finding the meaning of life, go create the meaning of your life. this is Yvonne, i hope to see you soon~