Deep Dive
Why do some people consider themselves more awkward than others?
According to a recent study, one in four adult Americans and 37% of 18 to 29-year-olds consider themselves more awkward. However, philosopher Alexandra Plakias argues that there are no awkward people, only awkward situations. People might use this term to protect themselves from the consequences of their actions or to avoid taking responsibility.
What's the difference between awkwardness and cringe?
Cringe is often used in a hostile or judgmental sense and involves a mix of pity and contempt, usually tied to specific behaviors or actions. Awkwardness, on the other hand, is more shared and elicits empathy, arising from a lack of clear social scripts in interactions.
Why do we avoid talking about important topics like death, illness, and money out of fear of being awkward?
We often avoid these topics because they lack clear social scripts, making us uncertain about how to navigate them. This avoidance is unfortunate because discussing these topics is crucial for our social and personal well-being. One strategy is to consciously decide on a script or focus on the goal of the interaction, such as offering comfort, rather than just avoiding discomfort.
What role do feelings play in awkwardness?
Awkwardness is often accompanied by feelings of discomfort, uncertainty, and self-consciousness. These feelings can be a result of social breakdowns, where we lack the social cues and scripts to navigate a situation. Describing someone as awkward can sometimes be a way to distance ourselves from the discomfort we feel.
How does awkwardness intersect with power and accountability?
Awkwardness can be used as a tool to avoid accountability, especially in power imbalances. For example, in the Me Too movement, men often felt awkward about addressing sexual harassment, leading to inaction. Awkwardness can also be a social flex, where certain groups, like tech bros, can create awkwardness and not worry about it, while others, like women, are expected to smooth over discomfort.
Why is it important to avoid pinning awkwardness on individuals?
Pinning awkwardness on individuals can shift blame and responsibility away from the social context. According to Alexandra Plakias, awkwardness is a property of social relations and situations, not individual traits. This perspective helps us recognize that awkwardness arises from a lack of shared social scripts and can be managed through social improvisation and explicit communication.
How can improvisation help in awkward situations?
Improvisation can help by creating new social scripts on the spot. It involves using social cues to suggest how to navigate a situation and getting others to go along with it. Laughter is also an effective tool to diffuse awkwardness, as it can break tension and create social cohesion.
Is our current era uniquely awkward, or is awkwardness a constant in social life?
While some argue that our current era is uniquely awkward due to changes in gender norms and technology, philosopher Alexandra Plakias suggests that social life has always been ripe for awkwardness. Changes in norms, such as asking about pronouns, can reduce potential awkwardness, but new forms of awkwardness will always emerge as social scripts evolve.
How does the distribution of social roles and expectations affect awkwardness?
Social roles and expectations can unevenly distribute the responsibility for managing awkwardness. For example, women are often expected to smooth over social discomfort, while men or those with more social power can create awkwardness without consequences. This imbalance can be seen in how certain groups, like tech bros, can leverage awkwardness to avoid accountability.
What cultural differences exist in handling awkwardness?
There is research suggesting that Black American culture is more comfortable with confrontation and reparation, often dealing with awkwardness more explicitly and restoratively. In contrast, mainstream white culture tends to avoid awkward topics and may use terms like 'bro code' to maintain a non-confrontational stance, which can lead to less effective handling of social tensions.
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