President Trump has his sights set on Greenland, and you know what happens when something strikes the apple of his eye… the media goes nuts! Protestors in Portland, Oregon have ruined everybody's weekend for the 150th consecutive week, so they're taking a trip to the Soft Corner. Jeffrey Epstein is as creepy as advertised, Elon Musk wants to nuke Mars, and one pedophile look-alike has definitely had a worse month than you so far.
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