I don't chase I attract mentality
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Welcome to Claim Your Power podcast, your all-inclusive roadmap to self-love, mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz, and you are at the right place if you're ready to tap into the knowledge, advice, and inspiration you need to become your higher self. It's time to claim your power, baby.

Hi guys, welcome back to the podcast. In today's episode, we are going to be talking about this concept that you have probably all

all heard of, but we are going to do a deep dive into it. And that is why you need to stop chasing and start attracting. This is something that, you know, is a sentence that is thrown around all the time, especially in the self-development and spiritual community. But there's honestly so much that goes into it and into the concept and the wisdom and why it's so pivotal to your life.

And my intention for this episode is to share all of these things with you because I used to be the type of person who would chase all the time. I would chase people. I would chase feelings. I would be very disconnected from myself. So I was constantly resisting the ebbs and flows of my life and I was forcing things. But that never, ever, ever led me to where I wanted to go and never brought me the results that I wanted. And

And this is why when I started adopting the "I am attracting everything that I seek into my life with ease" mentality, which we're going to get into, everything started to shift for me. Things just started to come much more easily into my life. I was also able to decipher what's truly meant for me because I wasn't holding on and forcing so much.

And so this is exactly what we're going to be talking about today. And before I get started, I just wanted to let you guys know that on August 8th, the Lionsgate Portal, one of the most powerful days of 2024, I am hosting a special manifestation masterclass. It's nothing like I've ever done before. All of the information will be in the episode description.

So please check it out if you'd like to attend. Remember that because it is live on Zoom, the spots are limited in the Zoom room. It's going to be amazing. There's going to be journaling, EFT, meditations. We're going to be manifesting and setting intentions together. So if you'd like to be there, check out all the information and grab your spot before it's too late in the episode notes.

And without further ado, let's dive into today's episode. So if you are on TikTok or on Instagram, you have for sure heard the I don't chase, I attract mantra. And

I want to dive deep into what this means because I think people get really mixed up with this idea of like, if you don't chase, that means that you're completely passive and you don't do anything and you don't go after your dreams. For a lot of people, this mantra rubs them the wrong way because they're like, what do you mean I don't chase? That means I don't have to chase after my dreams or take actions, but no, no, no. That is not that mentality.

The idea of I don't chase, I attract mentality is the idea that you are not forcing things in your life.

So you can take actions, you can set intentions, you can go after the things that you want in your life. However, you also recognize that there is a higher force operating in the background. The universe and God hears things and sees things that you do not hear and see. Therefore, the more that you chase something and force something to stay in your life or to work out, you will notice actually that those are when the moments that you actually repel those things.

So this is actually manifested a lot in relationships. So if you are constantly the one chasing, especially as the woman,

you will notice you're actually repelling the opposite person. You are pushing that person away because it's like a rubber band. You're chasing and chasing and chasing so that person is going to run away from you. And if you want to start attracting more things into your life, you're going to have to learn how to let go of the grip a little and trust. Trust that the things that are truly in your highest good will enter your life with ease. Trust that the things that leave your life leave that door open.

You don't know why someone's leaving your life. You don't know why something didn't work out. You don't know what you're being protected from. Only after the fact, you will understand. A lot of the time, you get clarity on things only after the fact. And usually when you have those experiences in your life, it's a test in faith.

Do you really trust that the universe has your back? It's easy to be like, the universe has my back in moments where everything is picture perfect, everything's flowing, everything's going well, and everything's manifesting and la la land. Like, that's so easy. But the true challenge and the true strength is getting yourself to a position where you know so deeply in your heart that the universe has your back, even if it doesn't seem like it. And that to me is the epitome of I don't chase, I attract.

I know that the things that are truly meant for me are going to feel like an effortless exhale in my life. I know that the right partner, the right friendships, the right experiences, the right paths, even in my career, I know that they will

feel like an effortless exhale. It does not mean that there isn't challenges in life. It does not mean that things don't demand, you know, courage or there isn't certain roadblocks along the way. Not at all. Nothing's perfect. There's duality in life. But if you have to grasp so hard onto something and you have to control it so hard and you have to cling on so tightly for it to be in your life, then maybe that thing is not aligned in your highest good.

Because one of the greatest mindset shifts that I have made in my life the past few months that have really, really supported me is this idea that the things that are truly meant for me in my highest good, the universe wants them for me more than I want them. So the partner or the success or the friendships or the fulfillment that I desire and I seek for myself, what is in my highest good, the universe wants it for me 10 times more. Why? Because the universe has my back.

and the universe wants what's in my best interest. And so just know that if something isn't working out in your life and you have to desperately chase it and cling onto it, then maybe the universe doesn't want it for you. And maybe it's because something better is out there that you didn't think of yet. Or maybe there's a different path that you're meant to take that's meant to lead you to where you're meant to go. So getting yourself to a place where you're just neutral and you're centered and you know that if someone leaves your life,

Your job is not to go after and chase them and beg them to stay. It's to hold the door open so that they can leave because they have served their purpose and if they're meant for you, they will come back with ease.

This is something that I wholeheartedly believe in. Like for instance, this is like a story from when I was in high school, but my first ever boyfriend, we had been dating for a year and then we had hit a rough patch. We were both going through like different shifts in our lives. So we had broken up when I was, I want to say like 16 and a half and we had broken up and I had made peace with that breakup and I

I just was so sure, even back then, I had a lot of faith in the universe. This is when I was starting my spiritual journey. And I was so sure that if he's meant for me, he will come back. And so we really went on our own way. We didn't speak. We ended things on a really good note. We were, you know, ended things as friends. And then around five months later, it was just aligned and we had reconnected and we stayed together for like another year.

I want to say another year. And, you know, after that, we broke up again forever, which is good because I've changed so much, you know, since my first ever boyfriend. And he has probably changed so much too. And I really hope that he has found his person. We have not spoken in years. But,

The reason I'm sharing this story is like we let go and then we found our way back to each other when it was aligned. And sometimes you have to let certain people go in your life so that they find their way back to each other naturally. And that was just like an example of me and my first love. But I have so many stories like this, even in certain, you know, stuff with my podcast and career and finding my agent and certain friendships in my life and moving. And just there's so many situations in my life where I...

I didn't cling and I didn't hold on and I was able to see the bigger picture and there vice versa. There's also been situations where I really held on and I chased in certain moments and I forced and those are the moments where I actually repelled what it is that I wanted and I actually pushed it farther away because I wasn't in my power.

You have to realize that when you're chasing, you're in an energy of attachment and that's disconnected from your power. Because when you're truly connected to your higher self, you know that your power and your source come from your center. You don't need to look externally to feel something within you. Now, obviously, we are all humans. We all have attachments. But when you find yourself overly chasing, overly pursuing, overly just trying to force something so hard to happen in your life,

I want to invite you to come back to your center, to come back to yourself and ask yourself, how can I actually be in receiving mode? How can I actually attract what it is that I want in my life? When you make that shift, it's like a click, a switch. You'll notice everything around you shift too.

I'll give an example of my own life that I used to be very much in masculine energy in dating and in relationships. And I was constantly trying to control and make a situation happen in my life a couple years ago. And then I started to really learn about feminine energy. I started doing the inner work. I started healing the inner girl within me. I started doing a lot of shadow work. And of course, I'm still on that path. There's still always things that are going to come up. But I definitely made a huge shift in my energy.

And when I tell you that every single place that I go now, I am so in tune with my feminine energy that I don't even need to do anything and the right men are just gravitated into my life. They're magnetized. I just easily attract them into my life. And I'm saying this not from a place of arrogance of like I'm on a pedestal or anything. I'm sharing this to show you that you can also make that shift like if you find yourself very much trying to make certain situations and relationships happen in your life, when

When you do that internal shift and you realize that it's not your job to chase, it's to attract, things easily come to you. They just fall into your lap.

And it took me so long to actually believe that because I was always like, I had this limiting belief that if I wasn't the one holding on or controlling or doing the effort, then nothing would happen. But that's such a limiting belief because the truth is the more that you're able to surrender and let go, the more that the right things can just come into your life with ease because your energy is open. You're receptive. So then your frequency is of allowing. It's of receiving, right?

And so that's a huge shift that I made in my life the past year is now everywhere I go, I receive love. I receive abundance. I receive support and I receive joy because that's where I tune my energy every single day. Now, do I have low moments? Of course. But this is something that I really recommend you start working on is tuning your energy and taking responsibility for your vibration, right?

When something changes in your vibration, you'll notice things outside of you change too. So when you start telling yourself, like personally, I identify as a woman, like this is just part of my identity now. Like I do not chase. I do not chase. This is just part of my identity that I have engraved in myself. I don't chase. So for instance, if a man is no longer pursuing me, he's not making me feel wanted, I'm not going to chase him because it's part of my identity. And I decided I do not chase.

If a friend in my life is being inconsistent, they're not being supportive, they're not showing up in a beautiful way anymore, then I'm not going to chase them. I just do not chase. I attract. And therefore, by being in this energy, I'm able to let go of the things that no longer serve me in a much easier way. And I'm able to attract the new things, the higher things in my highest good much faster into my life.

The I don't chase, I attract mentality allows you to not wallow for too long and for you to step up and take the next step in your life. So I want to invite you to also start identifying with the version, with the woman who does not chase. You just do not chase. You do not chase people. You do not chase feelings of being loved. You do not chase being chosen. You do not chase people and things that do not want you.

make that part of your identity and truly feel it because I think there's a lot of um like even for me probably like six months ago I was you know embracing this mentality but from like a very wounded like masculine place like I don't chase like la la la like just like arrogance like I'm on a pedestal I would never chase la la la and like no that's not what this mentality is okay like this mentality comes from the heart from the feeling state of like I

I know what it feels like to chase and to over pursue and to people please and to overcompensate. And I just know that I don't want to feel like that. I want to feel peace. I want to feel centered. I want to feel calm. I want to feel connected to myself. And that's why I make the decision that I do not chase.

So be very aware when your ego comes out because this happens a lot in this work where like you start being like overly I don't chase and then you start kind of developing like this ego and this arrogance and that's not what this mentality is at all. This is again connecting to your feminine energy into your feeling state of you knowing like it does not feel good to chase like as a woman.

I can guarantee that if you are a woman who wants to be mainly in her feminine energy in your relationships, in your dynamics, it does not feel good to chase. It doesn't even feel natural.

If you look at it from a biological perspective, like men would be the hunters, they would go out in the wild and they would chase the prey and the women would be the receivers. We receive, even back, you know, when there was princesses in the monarchy, there were several men courting one woman and she was receiving, she was not chasing. It does not feel right biologically to chase.

It does not feel right. And the more that we as women chase people and chase accomplishments and, you know, put our worth on the external, on our resumes, on how other people feel about us, the more we disconnect from our divinity. Because your true divinity and your source comes from who you are. It comes from your soul. It comes from the light within you. It comes from recognizing that you are source, right?

You are energy. And when you start identifying with the mindset that I don't chase, I attract, then you'll also be able to notice what isn't meant for you much more faster in your life. It's like your eyes will be like a hawk because you'll realize, oh, this situation or this person, I feel like this chasing energy coming up within me

And if I feel this chasing energy coming up, let me think about that. Let me see. Do I want to be in a situation or in a relationship where I constantly have to chase? Do I want to be in a friendship where I'm constantly chasing? Do I want to be in an energy within myself where I'm constantly chasing and trying to pursue the next thing and never feeling happy and whole where I am now? Do I want that energy in my life?

And if your answer is no, then start being your co-creator self. Start being the woman that's attracting, that knows that what's meant for her will find her. And the way that those things find you is by you being your authentic self, by you being true to yourself, by you putting yourself first. The reason that you feel the need to chase things in your life and to chase people all the time is because you're putting yourself second.

You're putting yourself on the back burner. I'm so guilty of this. I've done this so many times in my life. And it wasn't until I had certain situations that were really like the wake-up call, like Kim...

Get it together and put your needs and yourself first. Something that you have to realize that anything and anyone that you put on a pedestal in your life is bound to control you and control your emotions. So that could be a person, it could be a relationship, it could be money, it could be success, but anything that you put on a pedestal, you're giving your power away.

You're literally giving your freedom away to that person, your emotional liberty, and you don't even know it because your ego is attaching your worth and your value and your wholeness and the love that you feel on a dependency on something else. It's a trap. It's an illusion. And so the more that you connect to the source that's inside of you, to the power that's within you,

then you will realize that you don't need to chase anything in your life because things will just start coming to you. Things will just start coming to you. And I think this is such an important thing to tell you. And you might even notice like as a woman, I'm telling you this and it feels uncomfortable. You're like, what do you mean? Because in our society, women were taught to chase. We are living in a backward society that is so disempowering to feminine energy because women,

They know, society knows that if women are connected to their divinity and their feminine energy, the world will change and a lot of things will shift. And so everything around society is built to disempower women right now. And as a divine feminine woman, as a girl that is doing the inner work and is connecting to her self-development, you have to recognize that. You have to recognize that it is not your job to chase, to stress, to beg,

It is your job to relax because when you relax, when you're centered in yourself, then things can come to you. If you have to chase something so desperately, it's not for you. It does not belong in your life because trust me, that anything that the universe removes from your life, there's a reason.

There's a reason. You have to start telling yourself every single day that you do not align with chasing energy because chasing is low and it's keeping you small and disconnected from your source. And when you start developing this mentality of I don't chase, I attract,

you're going to notice a lot of things fall away and you're going to notice a lot of times where you feel tempted to chase. It's like life will actually test you in those moments and ask you, oh wait, are you really that version of yourself that you say that you are? Are you really this higher version of you that says that she doesn't chase anymore, that she doesn't force anymore and she really knows her value and she really knows her worth and she knows that she does not chase because when she chases people and she chases things and she resists all the time, she's actually disrespecting herself

Are you actually that version of yourself? So you will notice, you'll start attracting things and situations and experiences that are actually going to want to do the complete opposite in you. They're going to trigger that part of you that wants to chase, that wants to be desperate, that wants to beg.

Because that's the part of you that if you pass this experience, if you pass this test, not even test because you're not, you know, it's not really a test. Like we're all just learning and growing. But if you pass this version of yourself that you actually become and lead by example, you work on yourself and you know that what belongs to you will come to you and stay and you just have to do your thing, girl. You just have to be you. Everything will change for you.

You have to start holding the intention that you are amazing, that you are wonderful, and by you embracing who you are and bringing in more self-love every single place that you go, bringing in more light everywhere that you are, then the things that are right for you will find you. There's a really famous quote that says, if you spend your time chasing butterflies, they'll fly away. But if you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you.

So this is this idea that we attract based on who we are, not what we want. So when you start focusing on yourself and improving yourself, then things will just easily come to you. So instead of chasing people and things that intuitively you know that if you don't chase and you don't hold on, it's not going to stick around in your life.

You need to learn to chase yourself, to chase your self-love, to chase your purpose. Anything that is forced and that you have to desperately chase and hold on is not worth it.

I'm telling you, and I know there's probably a voice in the back of your head being like, no, no, no, but some things are worth fighting for and a lot. Yes, yes. If you are in love and madly in love with a person and there's something that comes up in a situation, you want to work on that relationship. Yes, this is not the type of situation I'm talking about in your relationships or chasing your dreams and your goals. No, I'm talking about the situations in your life where you know that you are really, really forcing it. You're forcing it and with all your will and all your energy and you know that if you let go of the grip, it's not going to happen for you.

And those are the things that you know that aren't aligned for you. Because the true things that are meant for you, the universe will meet you halfway. You will take the action. You will set the intention. You will, you know, put the energy in. But you will also have this part of you that can relax and that can ease the grip and that can let the universe meet you halfway and bring you the right people and bring you the right experiences. But if you have to force something and put so much effort and so much force into something, then it is not for you.

And something better is out there. But the more that you force and chase, you're never going to be able to attract what it is that's better for you because you're keeping yourself in the same place. What's truly meant for you in your life will enter your life and it will stay for as long as it's meant to. You won't have to force it. You won't have to feel desperate. You won't have to cling on to it. And what is meant to fall apart, the people and the things that are not meant to be in your life,

they will fall apart and nothing that you do on your end will be able to stop it because the universe is more powerful than your ego in that moment. So instead of letting other things and people and experiences make you feel not worthy or not valuable and stressed out and anxious, allow yourself to connect back to your inner peace.

Knowing that you don't have to beg, force, or chase. You have to pray, have faith, connect to yourself, manifest, and attract. What you have to understand about chasing energy is that at its core, it's actually a lack mentality.

It inherently repels the good things that you're after because there's a part of you that's like, oh, I have to chase it because I don't have it. Because I have to cling onto it because it doesn't already exist. I don't have it. I don't have control over it. So I have to chase it. But what a true person that's centered and connected. And this is something that I constantly have to remind myself because it's daily life. It's the human life. You, you know, take one step back, two steps forward. But I'm constantly reminding myself

That what I seek is already seeking me and that my desires, my true desires and my highest good desire me as much as I desire them. So by me chasing, I'm actually not trusting myself and I'm not trusting the universe.

When you start attracting things into your life just by being you and by setting the energy and by setting the intention, it will feel so effortless. When you're chasing something, you know it feels exhausting. It's like you're expending all this energy. It feels like stress. It feels like hard work. You're drained. And maybe you're going to get what you want in that situation or that person, but at what cost? It's like, do you genuinely want something that you have to control and force so hard to

In your life like is that the type of people you want is that the type of situations and experiences that you want for yourself? Like what you have to realize is like chasing is all about these external forces It's like about this worthiness wound of like trying to meet someone else is criteria and trying to You know for something you're at the mercy of so many outside things when you're chasing, right?

And attraction is this internal mentality of acknowledging that there's innate power within you. Acknowledging that when you become aligned with the frequency and the energy that you desire, you draw in your things and your manifestations so easily. So next time you find yourself in a situation in your life

where you're embodying this more needy, chasing energy. I want you to take a moment, breathe, come back to your center and remind yourself the mantra, I do not chase, I attract and what's meant for me will simply find me.