feminine energy dating tips (part 2)
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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and matcha enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.

Hi guys! Welcome back to the podcast. If you're new here, my name is Kim and welcome to the Claim Your Power community. Make sure that you are following us on Instagram at ClaimYourPowerPod and subscribing to the show and feel free to leave a review about your experience, what you think about this podcast. It really means the world to me

I can't even begin to tell you like really quickly just want to express gratitude how grateful I am for this community. Like whenever you guys message me, I stalk you guys after. Like if you send me a message telling me about a certain episode that's helped you or you tag me in your stories, like you best know.

I, if you are public, I'm looking at your profile and I swear every single one of you is a goddess. I'm always like in awe because I'm like, these are my followers. Like this is my community. That's like one after the other. It's like hot baddies, spiritual goddesses. And I just feel so, so grateful for this community, for you guys, for your support.

for our journey together as we continue to each grow alongside each other. So I just wanted to say thank you so much. And if you've been loving the podcast, please make sure to rate it to subscribe because it really, really helps your girl out. And without further ado, let's dive into today's episode. So if you've been following the podcast for a while, you know that back in the winter, just as the beginning of 2024, I released an episode on feminine energy dating tips.

And you guys ate that episode up. Like, you guys love this episode. So I thought, what better way to kick off summer season? I know it's still May. Well, maybe you guys are already listening to it and it's not May, but this episode is released in May 2024. And so I thought, what better way right before summer to do a part two for feminine energy dating tips? So

Get out your notebook or your mental notebook in your head because I am telling you this episode is going to be iconic. Like I am going to be spitting facts. I'm going to be delivering and there's just so much. Like I sat at a coffee shop earlier today and I just literally wrote down everything that I want to talk about today and there's so much. So I'm really going to be diving deep into it, into feminine energy dating today. So I really hope that

Whatever, you know, resonates with you, you take it, you apply it to your own life because there's just so much juicy stuff that we're going to get into it today. And I have to preface this by saying that all of this stuff that I'm going to be sharing with you, all these mindset shifts, all of this wisdom is things that I wish I

I could tell a younger version of myself. And what I love most about what we're going to be talking about in this episode is that it is multidimensional, meaning that it doesn't matter if you're in your early 20s, in your late 20s, if you're in your 30s, your 40s, if you're 17, if you're single, if you're in a long-term relationship, it does not matter. All of these things, all of these feminine energy principles that we're going to be talking about today, you can apply into your life in your own unique way. So

So let's get into it because there's so much that I want to cover. By the way, let me just preface the whole episode and say that feminine energy is an energetic dynamic, meaning that both men and women carry feminine and masculine

masculine energies. And if you are a person who feels the most centered, the most safe being in their feminine energy, then this episode is for you. There are going to be some women out there that prefer being in their masculine energy. That's just...

how they want to live their life. There is no judgment at all. But I will say that the things that I'm going to be sharing today are not going to align with women or people that want to stay in their masculine energy in dating. This episode is targeted for the woman who wants to be in her divine feminine energy. And

And some of the things that I might be sharing today might actually trigger some of you guys because I think back and I think that a past version of myself maybe four years ago and when I was dating like the most dustiest, like some narcissist, just like the worst men ever. I know that if someone had told me some of these feminine energy principles, I'd be like, girl, what? Like, what are you on? So if you are getting triggered by something that I'm saying today, just have that self-awareness.

and marinate with it, okay? But these things are good. So I've been prefacing, like we've done a lot of housekeeping. Let's actually get into it this time.

Tip number one is if you're the type of woman who wants to be in her feminine energy in dating, you're going to have to make a massive mindset shift that's going to change the game for you. And that is that you as a woman are the chooser. You as a woman are the one being courted, meaning the ball is in your court, right?

The problem is with the current society right now is we are raising women to be so driven by accomplishments, by egotistical things, by looks, by beauty, by what other people think of them that it actually strips them away from their goddess energy, from their femininity. And this actually ends up being manifested in dating and in the dating life where people

Women are constantly thinking and asking themselves, does he like me? How does he feel about this about me? Oh my God, he's following these girls on Instagram. La la la, la la la. And you are literally forgetting who you are. Do you know that back in history, what would happen is several men would court one woman and she would pick the best one yet. She would be the chooser.

You have to make one, if you're in the dating game right now and you want to be in your feminine energy, you're going to have this to make this mindset shifts because it's going to save you a lot of heartbreak and a lot of discouragement. And that is shift your mindset from this whole, does he like me? How does he feel about me? Does he want me to commit to him? Does he want to be my boyfriend? La la la to how do I feel when I am around him?

Stop like what you need to start doing is decenter the man from your life and recenter yourself and your feelings because feminine energy is all about being in tune to your feelings and your heart and a goddess is

is the one being courted. She is the chooser. She gets to pick. And not only that, like having this mindset is so helpful for empowering divine masculine men because a man also wants to feel like you chose him because you see something special in him, not because you're desperate for love or you're desperate for a boyfriend. Like you chose him because he worked and he courted you and he pursued you. So he feels like he won you over. It's like his

intrinsic value. It's like biologically men are hunters. We're going to get into it more later on in the episode, but shift your mindset. Like if you're in a dating game right now, stop going down this rabbit hole of does he like me? How does he feel about me? La la la to how do I feel when I'm around him? So take the focus off of how the other person feels and always ask yourself, how do you feel when you are around this man?

This will also help you make way better decisions in your dating life and really suss out the dusties very early on. Tip number two for feminine energy in dating is you have to, like girls, there are so many girls that think this way and it is just so unhelpful. Like even I have some friends that were thinking like this and I had to snap them out of it. Guys, chivalry?

is not dead. Okay, stop being in this mindset of like chivalry is dead. I cannot tell you how many times I've been around women and they were all complaining how chivalry is dead, that good guys don't exist anymore, that guys don't chase anymore, that they're only on dating apps, that people don't ask you out in person anymore, like the old times. Like I cannot tell you how many women have this mindset and how long I had this mindset for so long in my life and

This is just something that's got to go. We're dumping it in the trash and we're taking it out because if that is your mindset going into dating, then you best know you're never going to attract high value men because that is what vibration you're putting out. It's like the confirmation bias in psychology. If you believe something about your reality, then your mind will look for external circumstances that confirm that belief system.

If you believe that chivalry is dead, that there's no good men out there, that men don't pursue anymore, they don't ask you out in person anymore, then you're never going to meet these types of men. And also, this is so not true. And I have so much evidence to prove it. First of all, if you exist as a high value woman, as a woman with self-love, with value, with standard, then high value men exist too.

Like your masculine counterparts exist too because you exist. But if you believe that chivalry is dead and there's a high value man apocalypse, like you are never going to meet these people. You're just going to keep attracting men that confirm this belief to you. And if you want to start attracting men

better men into your life who pursue you who allow you to lean into your feminine energy then you have to first of all start believing that they exist because they do let me tell you i used to always believe like chivalry was then i was always telling myself and i was like oh my god i'm going to have to you know just succumb to the dating apps if i want to ever like meet any men in my life not true okay

There's nothing wrong with dating apps, by the way. I've used dating apps. There's great. I have some friends that got married off of dating apps. But I will say that to me, at least, they feel a bit forced.

I can't help it. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love it when the universe just conspires in my favor and just aligns people in my life, whether that be men or friends or opportunities like at the right place at the right time. That's just how I am. But also dating apps are great and they're a great tool. Like everything is with balance and how you use it and the energy that you approach it.

But I will say, if you're this type of person who's like me, who's like, I'm never going to meet a man in person. Like, this is just not how society works again. Like, it is not true, okay? I decided I'm going to delete my dating apps probably like half a year ago. And ever since then, ever since doing a lot of inner work on my feminine energy, the amount of men that I keep attracting in person...

is insane and these are not like you know those dusty men that are like cat calling you on the streets of new york like no these are high value men that are approaching me in person and pursuing me through their actions and through their words i can be walking on the street and a guy will just come up to me out of nowhere and just tell me that i'm beautiful and ask for my number and ask me on a date like this has happened consecutively in my life like

For so many times. And I'm not even saying that to be like. Oh my god all these guys want me. Like no I'm just saying this. To show you that it's possible. And show you that this is true. That when you are tapped into your feminine. Divine feminine energy. Then you start attracting these men into your life. They're just like moths to a flame. They just get magnetized to you. By you just existing.

So I used to be the type of woman who would constantly seek out, who would ask around, who would look and scroll on dating apps for hours. And now I was able to lean back and remind myself that there are so many wonderful men out there. And so I just keep meeting these men.

anywhere like random places at the grocery store walking around with my friends at a restaurant at a bar in the elevator like guys you can meet these men everywhere they exist everywhere and i literally just two weeks ago i was walking down a parking lot and this really great guy was approaching me and just asked me out and these are great guys like let me preface this this is not like

creeps. This is not dusties like they are high value men because when you start believing that they exist and you start radiating that feminine energy outwards, then they just find you. They find you and they feel comfortable and something in them just has courage to pursue you. But if you don't believe that they exist, you're never going to meet them. Tip number three is stop accepting low effort last minute dates. Men

are so smart, guys. They are so energetically intuitive and they know the type of girl in their life that would succumb to last minute plans. They know who the girl is in their life that doesn't have her own life and so she's that last resort when he's bored, when he's horny, when he just wants some attention. They know who that woman is in their life

Please do not be that type of woman. Be the type of woman who has a life that she genuinely loves, that she genuinely cares about, and that she will never abandon for anyone. Even if you're like in a six-year relationship right now with your fiance, with the love of your life, like you don't abandon your hobbies and your goals and your passions for anyone because that also takes the spark away from life.

And so stop accepting low effort, last minute dates. If you want to have dating life that is with high value, divine masculine men,

then your standards are going to have to go up on your time. Because the older I get, the more I realize how much my time is of value and how much my time and energy is something that I'm not willing to give away so often. Stop negotiating your standards with men and just start actually embodying them. And that is just don't accept anything less than you desire. So that means that if a guy texts you,

At 9 p.m. And asked to come pick you up at 10 p.m. But you already have plans with your friend. Or you're planning to do self-care. You were planning to meditate and journal in your room. Like that is what you do.

You don't accept low effort last minute dates. And yeah, maybe the guy will be disappointed, but he'll learn to respect you for it. And then that actually puts him in his divine masculine energy because it prompts him to make more of an effort and to take more action and to take your time more into consideration and to respect your life and the life that you already love.

So stop abandoning yourself for a man that you just met. And I'm not saying to never be spontaneous. Let's say you're seeing a guy for a couple of weeks and he texts you and he's like, hey, listen, do you want to take a flight here spontaneously? Like, I don't know. I don't know. This is just the only circumstance I thought of right now. But let's say that that's the case. Like, yes, accept it. Like, be spontaneous. Have fun. But also don't abandon your life. Don't abandon the rest of your relationships. Don't abandon your goals, your health for a guy that you just met.

This is your life.

and the only consistent part of your life is you. So make sure that when you are accepting a date from someone, it's not coming at the expense of you or your goals or your happiness, but it's truly something that feels aligned for you. Like for instance, I only accept dates 48 hours in advance. Like this is just a rule I have with myself. Like if a man does not text me 48 hours in advance, hey, can I see you on this day? I made reservation to this place. Like

I'm just not available and it's not from a place of arrogance. It's truly because I am that busy. I have so many things I want to accomplish. I want to do. I have friendships that I want to pour my energy into. I have family. I care about my health. I want to work out. I care about my creative projects, my self-care. And so I'm unavailable for a last minute date because that is how rich and whole my life already is.

And this is a type of standards that I really invite each and every one of you guys to embody because men in your life will start to respect you more for having a life of your own and for being independent. And when I say independent, I mean emotionally independent. I mean, you know how to fill up your own cup.

Don't even get me started on like 50-50 and financial independence. Like this is like, I've got a lot of opinions on that and I'm just going to save that for a different episode. But I will say that having emotional independence when you're dating is so, so important. And if you are in a space right now where you lack that emotional independence, you're still getting over a breakup, your self-esteem and self-worth is not very high yet.

I really encourage you to use this time and enjoy being single and using this time as an opportunity to build yourself up rather than running and jumping into, you know, relationships and situationships and spending all this time with men if you don't truly know who you are. And of course, as we date, we learn more about ourselves and what we desire and what we want. But

I think that in order to be in your feminine energy while dating, you have to come from a place of power and confidence and high self-esteem and self-love. And if you're not coming from that place, then you're just going to attract the type of man that you don't want and you're not going to feel fully fulfilled in that relationship because it's coming from a place of desperation and need and not love.

actual power from inside of yourself. Tip number four and this is honestly one of the best pieces of advice that I think will just help you feel more in your feminine energy when you're dating and that is when you decide to go on a date with a guy,

don't set any big expectations. Don't be like, okay, this man, like we're going to date after four dates. Oh, I'm going to have to kiss him tonight. This is going to happen. I'm going to have to feel like this. This is like, don't have any expectations about how the date's going to go. And instead go into the mindset. This is something that my friend gave me as a piece of advice a couple of years ago. And it's stuck with me ever since.

And that is when you go on a date, realize that you're going to have fun regardless and you're going to have a good time regardless because you are virtually on a date with yourself first.

And because you are so amazing and so talented and so interesting and so fun, then you're going to have a good time on the date regardless. So instead of going into the date and having all these expectations also pinned to a guy that you just met, you're just getting to know, just go on this date with an open mind of I'm going on a date with myself. There's going to be another person I'm going to have the privilege of getting to know.

And that's that. This man doesn't have to be my soulmate. He doesn't have to be my husband. He doesn't have to be the love of my life. I'm just going on this date and I'm expecting that what's meant to happen is going to happen.

And this also allows you to take the pressure off of yourself and the pressure off of the other person so that you don't get disappointed as much. Like let's say the person doesn't have the qualities that you desire or you don't feel as pursued as you thought you would essentially feel when you're around this man, then you're not as disappointed because you didn't have these expectations. You didn't put all this pressure on the person, on yourself.

Let the person show you who they truly are through their actions and through their words. And then you can decide if it's aligned for you. But don't go into it thinking this has to be this way. He has to say this. He has to act like this. I have to feel like this. Like, no, just if you're deciding to go on a date, it's because obviously they pursued you and their standards align with you. Don't set any too many expectations. Just go in the mindset of I'm here.

to have fun. I'm here to be authentically myself and if it fits, it fits and if it doesn't, that's okay too. Before I continue, I just wanted to let you guys know that I am hosting my most iconic workshop yet,

feminine energy workshop happening on June 21st. This is going to be iconic. This is going to be a workshop like you've never seen before in this workshop. I'm literally going to be teaching you everything we're talking about today, but to the next level, I'm teaching you how to radiate that goddess energy from inside of you, how to be in your divine feminine energy wherever you go. There's going to be EFT tapping, meditation,

journaling, a live Q&A. Like the things that I have planned for this workshop is absolutely iconic. I don't know why I said that in such a high voice, but I mean it, guys. Get your booty to the workshop, okay? Right now, it's only $55 because...

I want as many women to come to this workshop and this is why I'm making it super affordable because the things that are going to be inside this workshop, like the things we're going to be talking about, the things we're going to be covering are life-changing. Life-changing. So run, don't walk. All the information is in the episode notes. It's also on my Instagram and my stand store. I can't wait to see you there. Early bird tickets are available until June 2nd. So make sure to grab your spot if you want it right now at the lowest price that it is. Everyone,

Everything is in the episode notes. I'm so, so, so excited. And by the way, if you are based in Europe, make sure that you check out through the European link because through Stan, it's only for US-based people. But I know that there's so many of you guys in Europe. So don't worry, I didn't forget about you guys. Just make sure that when you check out, you're checking out through the European link and you're gonna receive the confirmation with the Zoom and everything and all the information that you need to know. Anyways, let's get back into the episode and I can't wait to see you guys at the workshop.

Tip number five is to let go of the control. This is something that a ton of women struggle with because as women, we just have this tendency to want to control everything, to want to know everything, to want to understand. We have this really deep need to seek to understand every little detail. We struggle with letting go and maybe you're an exception.

But I have a feeling like a little bird told me and just, you know, being a woman myself and having so many female friends around me that we as women, this is why we feel the need to always talk things out and overanalyze because a part of us wants to feel in control. But the thing is, having that control in dating is not serving our highest good.

So be able to differentiate when that masculine energy of control and having, you know, strength and having power is important.

For instance, having control over your business and over your financial decisions and over anything that has to do with organizational or your professional life. That is so good and that's where the masculine energy that we all have comes in. But if you bring that control resistant energy, I have to have all the answers. I have to figure everything out. Action, action, action, action, energy into your dating life.

then you're not going to be able to be with high value men. You're not going to be able to be with divine masculine men because essentially you're in your masculine energy. So therefore, you're only going to attract men who are either in their women masculine energy or who are dominantly in their feminine energy. They're very passive. They're often very lazy men. They lack initiative. That's because you've taken up the role of controlling.

So stop controlling everything because also when you try to control everything, for instance, if you try to control every how dates should be, everything that's going on in your life, if you're constantly planning, you're constantly making the reservations, you're doing everything for this man. A, you're making it easy for him. B, you're making him feel incapable.

And that's literally such a turn off to a divine masculine man because you're doing the work for him. And I know this doesn't make sense and I had to really like read so many books and talk to a lot of my guy friends about this, but like they genuinely want to feel capable. Like they like doing things. They like feeling helpful. They like planning things. They like taking initiative and taking action.

Like this is something that's in their inherent biological nature. And when we try to control everything as women, we literally deprive them of that. And why would we want to deprive a man of feeling this way? Because it makes him feel so fulfilled. And so this is why it's so important. If you want to be in your feminine energy and dating, and this is going to be a lot easier said than done. And this is something that I've definitely had to work on and still sometimes feel triggered by it, is practice the art of surrendering.

sit back and let the man lead not because you are you know submitting to everything and not because you're always passive and you're incapable but because you trust a man to lead you because you know that he is capable and you also trust yourself to choose the type of man that is a provider and that can help you lead and has the leadership skills and this way if you let go of the control a little and the way that this plays out for early on in dating is just like don't

don't plan the dates. Don't be the one constantly reaching out. Don't pick him up. Like there's just things that women don't pay the bill. Like on a first date, like he's taking you out and you're splitting 50 50. Like, I'm sorry. Like maybe this is controversial, but this just makes absolutely no sense to me. Like he's the one asking you out and you're paying for dinner. Like stop it.

Stop it. Remember who you are. You are a goddess and this man is pursuing you and he is asking for some of your time, your divine time. And so if you're constantly controlling everything, you also don't give him the opportunity to prove who he is to you.

So when you do that, like when you're constantly controlling it, you're also depriving the guy of the chase. And why would you deprive them of that if it makes them feel good? Like men are natural born hunters. They like to feel like they chased and earned something because then it has more meaning to them.

you are the prize and the man needs to feel like truly they won you over because this makes them appreciate you more, make them feel more fulfilled around you. If they feel like they have you wrapped around their finger right away and you're doing everything for them and you've given up all your life and you're just planning on the dates and you just met him and you barely know him, you haven't even met his family, then he is going to start taking you for granted. He's not going and also you're going to start feeling really, really resentful.

If you start controlling everything early on in dating, maybe you feel like you have a sense of control and it's going to appease your ego and appease the part of yourself that feels anxiously attached. And by the way, I have a whole episode on anxious attachment. But in the long term, if you're staying with this man, you're going to end up resenting him because he's going to get lazy and you're going to end up doing everything and you're just going to be in your masculine energy and that's going to make you feel resentful and just so disconnected from yourself.

And not to mention that when you allow a man to pursue you, this makes you feel so good and so at ease.

Men are like cats. Like if you chase them, they will run. They are literally like kittens. But if you sit still, they will come purring at your feet. Stop chasing men. Let go of the control. Surrender a little and practice the art of surrendering and receiving. Tip number six, and this is super random, but it's also really, really helpful. If you're ever on a first or second date with a guy and

and they ask you what are you looking for meaning they want you to basically list out your entire checklist for them or they want to suss out and see if you're going to scare them off by telling them you want a commitment or something right away I'm going to tell you the perfect answer to this question so you will never feel like you are in a loophole ever again if a man asks you on a date what are you looking for this is what you answer him

You just be yourself. And if it's aligned with what I am looking for, then we will see where this goes. This puts the power back in your court. This keeps you in your feminine energy. This leaves you being a little bit mysterious, not giving away anything.

everything about you not giving away your entire checklist and all of your standards and I feel like there's a lot of mixed feelings on this because a lot of people will preach that you should be very forward and very honest when it comes to dating and while I agree while I agree I don't think there's any necessary reason why on a first or second date with a guy you need to be talking to him about marriage or

or about you know wanting a serious relationship because if you were truly in your feminine energy like the first and second dates are you just grabbing and collecting data like it wouldn't even cross your mind right now to like be committing to this man because you have so many options you're being courted from all these different angles and even if you don't have like a roster of all these men you're

just know that there is an abundance of men. So right now in the first and second date, you're not like, I'm looking for a commitment, a serious relationship because women who are in divine feminine energy are just so happy and whole on their own that the idea of being in a relationship is just an addition to the life that they already love.

And so this is just my opinion, but I'm a really firm believer. Like you do not need to be telling a guy on a first, second or even third date, like what you are looking for, like what type of commitment you are. Because how do you know? Do you know what I mean? Like even if, for instance, being with the love of my life, being with my husband, my soulmate, everyone wants that, right? But if I just met a guy, then I can't even tell if that's something that I want from him.

And I think that for women who, and I'm so guilty of this because I've done this in the past, so if this is something you've done, just realize that it's not a bad thing, it's just something that you can move away from and embody new energy. And that is, like, if a guy asks you what you're looking for on a first date, you don't need to tell him anything because...

you're not looking for anything outside of you when you're telling him what you're looking for right away kind of gives off this desperate energy and that's why they end up running away and that's why they end up ghosting because they get scared they feel like they're gonna chain you like you're gonna chain them down

But if you are this free spirit and you're so whole and content and you're dating from a place of wholeness in your feminine energy, then you don't even feel a need to like announce to a guy that you want a commitment. It will just come naturally to you because it will feel right to you. And this way,

He's not going to feel also from the male perspective, like you chained him down in a cage. He's going to feel like he's the one that's wanting it. And when he feels like he's the one initiating that commitment, then it feels right for him and he sticks to it and he is loyal to that. So yeah,

This is just my opinion, but I don't think you should be smothering a man telling him exactly what you want and what your standards are and what you're looking for right away. Like if he asks you, again, you just be yourself and if it's aligned with what I'm seeking, then we'll see where this goes.

Tip number seven, and this one is so overlooked and I feel like a lot of people don't talk about this, but it's really important because again, my podcast is also all about healing and raising the collective consciousness and I feel like this has to be said.

The amount of women that I see when a guy finally pursues them, maybe it's a guy that they don't find as attractive, for instance, but he goes out there and he tells them that they're pretty and he, you know, pursues them in that moment. The amount of women that I have personally witnessed be complete, excuse my language, but complete bitches to the guy is actually embarrassing. If you want to be the goddess version of yourself,

then start being kind to men who express interest in you, even if you aren't interested back in them. Now, I will say this does not apply to creeps and to men who make you feel uncomfortable. If that's the situation, go ahead, green flag, be a bitch, do what you need. But for instance, if a guy that's less your taste comes up to you at a coffee shop and pursues you and you're not interested in him, you don't find him attractive,

then just let him off easy. Respectfully decline. You don't need to, after go on and gossip with your girlfriends or text your girlfriends, be like, oh my God, the ugliest guy just asked me out. Like that screams insecurity and that screams wounded feminine energy. Because let me tell you something, any man,

that recognizes something beautiful or something interesting in me is something that I'm grateful for because to me they are showing me the energy of abundance and the energy of love

So even if you're not interested in a guy, if he's respectfully asking you out, then respectfully decline. Be kind. This also lifts them up and empowers men to continue to be masculine. And so they can continue to do that with a different woman that maybe is more of a fit for them.

because again, if chivalry is dead, it's not completely men's fault. Like there is two players to this game. As women, I really believe that we also have a responsibility. So girls, be kind and it's super flattering when a guy pursues you or finds interest in you, even if you're unattracted to them. Remain kind. I know this is such a basic one, but you would not believe how many women do not follow this principle.

Tip number eight is remember, and I'm going to bring you guys back down to earth now. We are humbling you for a moment, okay? The first few dates, even if you feel like this man is your soulmate, like he is exactly what you're looking for, the looks, the personality, the values, like from the first point,

remember that the few dates that you are going on are just for gathering data. Yes, you saw an angel number on the receipt of your first date. Yes, both of your grandmother's names are Gertrude. I don't know where that came from or why they just made that up. But no, it does not mean necessarily that this man is your soulmate. While I do believe in synchronicities and I believe in alignment, I also believe in staying grounded.

And I believe that the more that you detach from a specific outcome is the more that the best type of outcome can happen for you.

So, when you are dating and seeing a guy for the first few times, stop trying to fit him into this mold of who he has to be and who you want him to be and just get to know the person and gather the data about him. Because maybe this man is not the love of your life but maybe he has something to teach you. Maybe he's going to help you realize that he has this specific trait that you really appreciate in a guy and so you're going to start really embodying that and desiring that for yourself.

And so the first few dates are just an opportunity for you to gather data. Stop putting all this pressure and all these expectations and stop being Delulu. Like I said it, I said it. You guys know I'm all for being Delulu, especially with manifestation and your goals and your dreams. Not with this. Do not be Delulu. Stop making up expectations.

why like scenarios in your head about like why this man is perfect for you and just stay grounded and this will also help you make decisions from a more powerful place tip number 10 that i want to talk to you guys about wow this episode is getting long baby if you are still here listening you are a real one okay tip number 10 and this one's so important for the feminine energy girlies is

is do not ever change yourself for a man, okay? Like if his type is blondes, then stay brunette. If his type is surfer girls, but you're this elegant baddie, like you do not become a hippie. Stop changing yourself thinking that he's going to like you more. And this also connects to this idea that, you know, sex and the spark are not one of the same. You do not need to constantly give an order and change yourself and make yourself perfect as if he would want you and how he would see you in order to get him to like you.

The right guy will like you just for you being authentic and you being you. And you do not want to change yourself and then get a guy to like you because he doesn't actually like you at your core because it's not truly you. Men fall in love the more that they give to you, not the more that you give to them. So stop overgiving. Stop changing yourself. Stop overgiving your time and energy and just doing all these things for them and just start receiving. And I'm not saying like if you are dating someone to not be giving and generous because...

When you are truly with someone, they have proved their commitment and loyalty to you, then yes, you can open your heart and be that nurturing, feminine, amazing goddess that you are and you know that you can be for the right man. But I just, I really want to say this, especially for the younger girls listening, that you don't need to give him constantly, physically and emotionally.

you know, do things that you don't feel comfortable doing. And also you don't need to constantly be giving yourself in general in order to get a guy to like you. This is a lie that society has sold us.

A guy will truly like you and appreciate you for what he can give to you, for what he can do to you. I have so much compassion for old Kim from a couple of years ago because old me would do things that she didn't necessarily full body wanted to do but because she felt like if she did that then the guy would like her, then the guy would appreciate her more. But I am telling you that that is not the case and

If you are a girl listening right now and you felt like this before, you just know you don't need to change yourself at all. You don't even need to let a man touch you in order for him to get him to like you. Like if you are someone that truly values and loves herself, then you don't need to do anything. You just need to be yourself, your true self. You need to be in your energy and your power and you need to receive that.

You don't need to change yourself for anyone. And also when you have this type of energy, like, fuck it, I'm going to be who I am. And if you like it, you like it. And if not, then you can fall off and find someone who is what you desire for yourself. Then you allow yourself to

to truly shine and truly be in your divine energy because you're not changing yourself and molding yourself and the highest frequency is authenticity okay last tip that i wanted to share with you and this one might hurt but i just it has to be said if you are confused about a guy in your life then he is not interested in you enough

He's not shy. He's not getting over a tough breakup. He's not going through a bad mental health day. He just doesn't want it bad enough. Let me tell you guys, I have grown up with a lot of guys around me, cousins, friends. I've observed guys from a very early age and how they think. And let me tell you something, when a guy wants a girl, that girl's never going to be confused.

Every single man that truly wanted me and was loyal and committed to me from the first day that I had met him, I was not confused.

If you are confused, then he is not interested enough. I know this also hurts, but I also think in a way it's very liberating because it allows you to stop spending and wasting your time and energy on men who don't truly desire you. Because from the get-go, you can recognize, oh, I don't feel pursued enough. I'm confused. So therefore, if I feel confused, then maybe this isn't for me. And I think that's really liberating because it allows you to

to bounce back and make better decisions in dating and not, you know, sit for the next six months and wonder and be in the situation ship, which we've all been in. And I think moving forward, remembering that, like, if you are confused, he's just not interested enough. I promise you, even if he's shy, like, I have had several men pursue me. And the first thing that came out of their mouth was something along the lines of like,

I'm shy, but like something about you is just so interesting to me and I had to come up to you. So even shy guys, if they want it bad enough, will pursue you.

Men are very intuitive creatures and when they know, they know. And so stop settling for guys who you aren't their dream girl because when you do that, when you are settling for these guys that are keeping you confused and anxiously attached, then you are depriving yourself for meeting the man who will see you as a diamond in the dust, who will see you as his dream girl.

So remember that if you are confused, if you're overanalyzing text messages and looking at his follower list, then he doesn't want it bad enough. Because meanwhile, there are literally guys who would kiss and worship the ground you're walking on, who already have a restaurant reserved and a date planned for you, who just want to show you through their actions or words how interested they are in you. So please stop wasting your time on memes

on men who don't truly choose you. And walk away from these people. Walk away from these men as early on as you can recognize it and learn to love the sound of your footsteps walking away from what isn't meant for you. Because the more that you can do that, the more that you will draw in

men, and experiences that prove to you your high sense of self-worth and your divine feminine energy. So I know this episode was long. I hope you guys love this episode. Again, you're a minor to make sure to sign up for the feminine energy workshop happening on June 21st. All the information is in the episode notes. I hope you guys love this episode and I can't wait to talk to you next time.

Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye!