Arc 6 Ep. 1: Chili Night
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Rotators, I hope that you're doing very, very, very, very well today and you're looking forward to this, the release of arc six of the Rotating Heroes podcast, which features the one and only Ali Beardsley, the incredible Dan Lipper, and...

Grant O'Brien, who you actually haven't heard on the podcast before, but has prior to appearing in this particular arc been on the show because there was actually a one shot featuring Grant O'Brien, which is exclusively on the Patreon. So if you want to check out that, if you enjoy Grant and this and you want to hear that, then why not check out the Patreon where we're also currently releasing arcs

I know you heard a little sneak preview last week. Well, we're just about to drop episode two. There is so much lore about the world of Amalur in this one. I'm so excited for everyone to check it out. I hope that you have enjoyed these and looking forward to, you know, maybe hearing my voice a little bit soon as well. If that's a bad thing, then, you know, I can only apologize. Anyway, take it away, Patstack. I'm rotating you.

Welcome back to the Rotating Heroes podcast.

I am joined for the first time by the rotators of the six arc. I'm very excited to introduce you to everyone. It's a bunch of very funny friends who I've never seen this specific combination of D and D players together. And that's the joy of this podcast, you know, combining new groups of people and holding them hostage while you intro them. And they're just stuck in a cone of silence. Well,

Well, going around from left, you know, counter, you know what? It's actually clockwise for me. From left to right. Good. Let's see, left to right. You know how you read a clock left to right? Well, clockwise for me, having been on the pod before, but in its digital recording version and first time live in the room,

We have joining us once again, Ali Beardsley. Hello.

Is that the best intro you've ever received? I think so. Joining us once again is high praise. You know them from joining us once again. I was shocked that you're on the sixth arc. I know. That's so many. It's flown by. It's been, well, we took one month off, but it's been, I think, a full year. I feel like I've kept tabs on all the different arcs. It just doesn't, I was like, wow, it's been six. Yeah. Isn't that wild? Which one do you think has been the best? Oh, yeah. Wait, let's get into this. So, you know,

- What? - A little bit of an issue. - Okay, well great. - Wait, Grant's the returner from the last, from five? - So there's not a specific person returning this time. We're actually jumping back in the world to revisit a character, your character, Nance Ray.

Wow. Nance Ray. A lot of the arcs carried one person over very directly. And this one, we're just kind of, not a hard reset because we've met your character before, but it just felt like it was time to get back into the adventures of Nance Ray. It's like a Loki situation. Oh yeah, exactly. There's all these variants. I've often said that Beardsley has a Tom Hiddleston energy. Yeah.

Honestly, I kind of get it. Yeah. Who's that? Loki. The Panic at the Disco guy? I chime in. Well, I guess we could talk about Panic at the Disco all day or we could continue on with the next rotator. You know him from a one shot we did back in Aberdeen with Siobhan and Travis and this person we have.

Grant O'Brien. Hi there. Hello, Grant. How are you doing? I'm doing fantastic. Thank you for having me back. Is that the best intro you've ever received? You know what I was thinking about during the intro? That clockwise is actually clockwise for everybody, and it's a very effective way to describe. Yeah. From left to right. From left to right. My clockwise, not your clockwise. Oh.

Oh, oh, right, right, right. Grant, it's welcome to have you back. No, that's not a word. I feel welcome to have me back. Yeah, it's welcome to have you back. Grant, we had you here for a one shot and now we're here for the sixth arc. Going from just a single episode to a little four episode arc.

What are these, what are the thoughts racing through your head right now? I'll be very honest with you and tell you, I hope that my character has enough substance and wasn't just a bunch of jokes to carry me through a full arc. So we'll find out. Well,

I hope the audience is satisfied by what I do here. I guess is what I'm saying. Well, I'll just let you know that we're starting off with a character named Nance Ray Gann. Her name is Nancy Ray, and her last name is Gann. Yeah. So I think that's fine. Then we're going to get along great. Great.

I am very excited to, I think we even talked about how it would be fun to bring your character into this world. Yes. And so we're following through on that. We'll have to bring Travis's character back in another way because he is not here. I want to be clear. Travis is not here. Great. That kind of makes me feel like maybe Travis is here. And introducing our third guest. I have.

Clearly Travis's voice. No, we have our third and first time on the pod. We have the extremely funny Dan Lippert. Dan, how are you? Hi. I'm good. How are you? Was that the best intro you've ever received? The third and extremely funny was really good. Yeah. I gave you a qualifier. You know the thing that I do sometimes with my podcasting and I'm like, why am I doing it this way?

Where you won't say the name of the person until you introduce them as if it's like a big reveal. Yeah. But people see all the names on the name of the episode, right? I don't think I've ever understood how to do that properly. It's like, well, this person, I'm not going to say their name yet. What do you mean?

What do you think the correct move is there? You just go in strong with, I'm here with Allie Beardsley, Grant O'Brien, and Travis Helbig. That's right, baby. Give him hell. That's Travis. I don't know what the best way to intro people is. I think it's probably to have like a super...

prepared one with credits or like a more conversational one, but I get stuck in the middle a lot where it's like, oh no, I think I want to say a credit, but I don't know which one to say for this person. And I'm just going to say they're very funny. I'm still talking and I haven't had the time to think about it. Oh God. You've seen them on Instagram. That's that is where you've seen a lot of people. People have seen me for the past two years.

years you haven't done a lot i feel like you know we've all been in everything constantly so it's pretty you know it's it's been a very busy time for everybody it's been a very busy time

And even on Instagram, it's only on stories usually that you're seeing people. Yeah. I've really tried to pare back. But also, I think I'm about to just dive deep into it. IG. Well, you're catching it at the height of its popularity. I'm going to do like 400 part stories every day from now on. The metaverse really got you. You're like, that's incredible. I love Snow Crash. It's actually pretty cool. Somebody once...

I should tell him that this makes me laugh because I've never told him to his face. But I was on a trip to Vegas driving and it was just me and one person in the back who was like, I got to go to sleep. I'm too tired. And the person in the front who generally is like, keeps you awake, talks to you or whatever, was like, hey, I think I'm going to try to go through every story on my Instagram and put his headphones in and just pull his phone out. It was like...

What a hard burn on your ability to have a conversation. I know. Why? Why were you like, I'm going to really challenge myself. I don't know what the point of it was. I don't know. It was just like, I got a few hours, but I've never done this before. And I was like, I guess I'm just sitting alone. Oh my. Would you have preferred that they left the volume on so you would hear that absolutely insane voice?

Maybe. And be like, describe to me what's happening there. What was that one? What was that one? Okay, so this was like a pot roast. Okay, now we're in a warehouse.

Okay, the pot roast is in the warehouse. Are you ever watching stories and then it autoplays someone's story but you don't want to be watching their stories because you don't want them to know that you've watched their stuff and then have a moment of panic when it's like, oh shit, I meant to not watch that story. When it was autoplaying? Yeah, if you hit it and it just sort of goes. Because it just goes to the next story if you watch it in order. I took the app off my phone and stopped thinking about it and it really, I feel like I, not to sound like

high on my own supply, but really freed myself from that. No, definitely. I delete it constantly. Same with TikTok. If it's not on my phone, I don't go to it mindlessly, and then I enjoy it more. Because I'm like, oh, I'm sitting down and I would like to open Instagram, so I'm going to download it, plug in all my stuff, and then go on Instagram. I did that when I was in Mexico and I got blocked out of my Instagram for like a month. Did you find out why?

No, I just eventually was able to like Andrew Bridgman helped me out. Shout out to Andrew Bridgman at Dropout. He fixed it almost instantly. There was no way for me to fix it and then he was able to fix it. You were gone off of Instagram. All tag photos, like your entire account was gone. And I was like so impressed. My whole body was like

I should have done that too. Like, I just thought you really pulled the cord and were just like, I'm done with Instagram. And I was like, that's the coolest fucking thing. I wish I did it, but no, I got, I think I tried to log in in Mexico and they were like, that's a hacker. And then I was like, desperate to get back there. No way someone in Los Angeles went to Mexico. That's impossible. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I can't think of any other reason for that to have happened because like I got back and I couldn't figure it out. And then like through some like forwarded emails from Bridgman, uh, got, got an email that was like, yeah, it was just a mistake and no elaboration. And it was like, wow. Oh, so the Andrew Bridgman reached out to somebody. He had a contact. Wow. That's huge. Wow.

It wasn't all those comments you were leaving on every Ariana Grande post? Well, she should respond. When someone proposes to you, you should at least have the decency to respond. I have to marry me. And it's frankly... You have a Pete Davidson vibe. Oh, good.

I think it's just hot and tall. That's all I mean by that. Not to strut out. I also... That was a condemnation that I don't really mean. Just never heard that. Well...

Gosh. Should we get started finally in the episode? It's fun. You know, we're starting. It's in the morning. We're chumming it up because it's very exciting to have you all here. And let's just get into the... I'm looking at Beardsley through the back. Perfect. And let's get started with episode one of Arc 6. We scan over the majestic Cerulean waters.

of the bustling lakeside city of Solonport. Past all the older cobblestone streets jammed with old charm-filled buildings, through the disgusting piss-filled strips of bars and restaurants, and parks all the way out

to the less developed side of town where the buildings are newer and a little less charming, I would say. A dirty trail leading out of town where two dusty boots flecked with the dried salt of the lake itself slowly trundle on towards home. Nance, you roll up, having just sent Turbine on his way.

You gave him a great shortcut to send him back to Aberdeen in no time. Just cutting by Shartsville, of course. Your friend, his mom, will be just so happy you set him up right. Your feet are tired. This is like that long trip back from LAX.

where you feel like you were done with whatever long travel arrangements and then you forgot you still had that extra leg with the weird like Lyft Uber line to get across town. LA exit. LA exit, yes. At this point, it's like you have to just like fully dissociate to like get home. You're like, there's no way there's another hour. Yeah.

But you finally made it. You're finally standing outside of your house, standing tall, roughly six foot three, looking at her home. Nance, you see the chicken wire fence, this old yellow stucco house that has a really big lawn to accommodate all the little feet of the dachshunds you take care of. 104. 104, yeah. And all of this complete with the warning out front, once again, my dachshund can get to the fence in two minutes and 30 seconds flat. Can you? Yeah.

Nance Ray Gann. There in front of you is your classic front door bell. Usually someone else rings it and you're the one who answers it, but here you are outside of your house. Well, I think I have a key, right? So maybe I let myself in. Great. What does Nance's key chain look like? It's a key.

Okay, so you know how plastic when twisted is actually pretty strong? Yeah, sure. It's like a poop bag that I've twisted and I've tied with my keys on it so then I always have like, I know I at least have one extra poop bag. Emergency poop bag. Because I need a ton when I walk all the dogs all at once. Yeah. It's too full, fistfuls, like I have big bouquets of balloons but they're on the ground and they're cleaner dogs. Okay.

Yeah, like a balloon salesman at Disneyland, but like thousands. Well, fresh from her journey across to the endless hole crossing both the Sapphire and East Sapphire Lakes, sunburned as hell, Nance turns the key to her front door and lets herself in. Nance, as you pop in, you hear the scurrying of what sounds like somewhere between 50 to 140,000 dachshund claws hitting the hardwood floor.

Not getting any grip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sliding everywhere. The hardwood floors are done. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All these dogs just like yipping and running. Like, make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, God.

That is only a 12. You slip a little bit, but they're not, though there are numerous, they're very small. You've done this dance before and you're able to stand up, right? The yipping is pretty consistent as they all just run up to you. They've been out because your roommates Shasta and Rhonda, two 45-year-old ladies drinking some Tulsi and Gabano teas. Tulsi?

I forgot about that. Yeah, they're just having a morning. You know, last time we saw them, they were a little hungover. Maybe they're a little hungover today, but they are sitting across from what appears to be a handsome little gnome wearing these sort of 70s style tinted sunglasses, having a little, you know, a little morning like kind of breakfast hang with a friend that you've never seen before, Grant.

Would you mind introducing your character? Absolutely. This is John Daffodil sitting in the house. John Daffodil is a bon vivant, a general roustabout from the city. He's a man of the theater, and his goal is making great art for the stage. Fame is for other people. His goal is really putting something wonderful there that everyone's going to remember.

knows Shasta from his days producing at the local theater. There was a

a gay Fantasia that he wrote himself. That's redundant. Called The Ass Menagerie that Shasta was in. Yeah, Shasta, though kind of, you know, dabbles in regional theater, took it pretty seriously at one time. No one ever retires from the theater. Oh, come on, John. She's like almost blushing a little bit. I have to get you back, Shasta. I don't know. I'm out of practice. I'm, you know...

I love to hang out. From your diaphragm? I love to hang out. You know how to get the best out of me, John. Shasta comes up to you. She's still wearing a blanket, a little hungover as well, and gives you, Shasta and Rana give you hugs as you enter. Oh, yeah.

The pups were all good. You have a good trip across the water. How was it? I did. I met the most amazing people. We bonded. We fought. It was incredible, but it feels great to be back. And we have company. Who are you? Greetings. Oh, okay. He said greetings. My name is Mr. Daffodil, but you may call me John.

John, I have a feeling that you've dressed and talked exactly like this your entire life, and that it only now looks appropriate on your age. He has a scarf that touches the floor. Incredible, incredible.

This is like, you know, just a regular human scarf because he is a gnome. Dragging a little bit behind him. A pleasure to meet you. Likewise, likewise. Oh, how European. A kiss on the hand. Yes. One for each cheek. Oh, oh.

I'm essentially laying on the ground for him to be able to do this. I'm 6'3". You got a couple of dachshunds crawling on your head. They think I'm playing. Now I've started something I can't stop. You hear more claws slapping into the ground. Cream gets down and starts breeding the other dachshund. Cream went on this venture with you, of course. Your dachshund that you always bring with you. Shasta pipes up and is like, Hey, I don't know...

like kind of whispers over to you, Ned. It's like, look, you know, play your cards right. I think John might be interested in a bit of a dachshund situation. Winks at you. A consumer never tips his head. I may be interested. My mouth is full of saliva. The idea of making a sale. Ew. Gross. John.

John, you know, if you can picture it, if you can picture a type of dachshund, I have it in this house. I want a dachshund that's as enigmatic and mercurial as I. You look over the corner and you see a couple brindles under a heat lamp. Roasting like eggs. Roasting like lizards. I put a heat rock in there for them because they're so expensive. Have you heard of a brindle?

Brindle dachshund. I have. Of course, of course I have. Why, I'd only be interested in a brindle. I know all about them. Exactly. Roll a deception check. Yeah, that's too many dice. I rolled a nine. Okay, cool. Yeah, roll an insight check. With advantage? Come on, these are my pups. Yeah, sure.

- Okay, this man, I think he-- - Okay, I'm positive I can sell him a black and tan, really regular dachshund and tell him it's a brindle. - You see, as he's talking about brindles, he's looking past the brindles to just sort of this sick looking one. It's not sick, like permanently sick, just like it ate something gross. - Ah, a fine brindle, a fine example of a brindle. - Oh, you're interested in Inky. Jeez, Art.

Our most prized possession. Well, nothing but the best for John Daffodil. Yes, we call her that because it's all she'll eat. Here, hold her. A bunch of pins in her mouth. Ooh, and you have a bad attitude. Bites you in the face. Fiesty. Oh, yes. She's not good around children or adults. Comes up to my chest.

She's like actually a concern for you. The dog might kill you. Rhonda kind of clearly like doesn't want to interrupt, but like it has like an agenda like comes up to you, Nance. Like, hey, look, I'm not trying to interrupt the sale, but it's Monday and I was just curious if you had any plans for, you know, for a chilly night. Oh.

It is insane that you bring that up. I was just telling people I needed to get home for a chili night. Oh, my God. I'm going to go all out. We used to do it every Monday, and it's been a little while since we've done it. No, exactly. That's why I had to get back. I've just been craving a hearty meal, like a chili. Saying it's a little bit cool outside, and I want to fart. There's a little crispness to the air, and you want to fart? Yes.

I can't wait to fill this house with new smells. John waves Shasta over in a corner and says, hey, is Rhonda trying to fuck me on the sale over there? I can't quite make it out. What are the two of them talking about? Oh, she, yeah, you know.

Ronda is a bit of a, you know, like when they do that street magic or street tricks and someone in the audience like wins, that's a Ronda for you. I hate street magic. I hate any performance that isn't in a theater. Okay. Well, you know, just...

You're a pretty savvy consumer. I trust you to get a good deal. Thank you. Look at you. Inky's eating your pen through your pocket. You have like a quill, just a little like inkwell just shatters in your pocket. The energy on this one.

Well, cool. Yeah. Rhonda's like, oh, that's amazing. I can't wait. Well, you know, the bodega is down the street. Why don't we just like get Rhonda? We're going all out this time. I potentially left a man to die to come back here and start the chilly night. I can't wait. I don't know. I don't want to know anything about it. I don't honestly mean either. I turned around and I never looked back for the sake of

- Of chili. And friendship, we have a full house. Let's make a big chili. - Great. Do you have a recipe in mind? Are you gonna do your classic? - Oh, you know I am. Cowboy pie. - Cowboy pie. A lot of people consider that maybe not a normal chili, but I think it's your signature. - I think so too.

Yeah, well, we got a lot of this stuff. Nance, you go through your cabinets to see, you know, it's been a minute since you made it, but, you know, you have a lot of the normal stuff you need. You have the cornbread batter already. You have chicken stock, some of the spices already. You need some salt, but outside of that, you need your turkey. You need some red beans, some other spices, including salt and some sour cream.

Oh, I mean, you can't skip the sour cream. That's half the bowl. Yeah. So let's get out of here. Great. Well, the bodega's open. Why don't you... She's like visibly hungover. I think I have to stay here. I understand. I understand. I put her in front of the fan. Is that nice? I don't know. I'm cold, but I'm also hot. Bundled up in front of a fan is how I like to spend a hangover. Yeah.

She's just like getting blasted with the fans. Rhonda looks at you and is like, I don't know, maybe see if John wants to go. Maybe that's sort of a sales tactic, like people playing golf or whatever. Yeah, great. Close the deal on the walk. That's great. John, you know, we're actually, do you eat chili? I have an incredible recipe. I take out a big knife.

And I pointed at you and I go, don't use those words in this house. In this house, we believe in science. We believe that I go through a long ass list of incredible political... No one is illegal. No one is illegal. And that Nance always makes the chili. Capisce? And John's such an idiot. And so like, so he's like,

Well, as long as it's a white chili, I suppose it will be fine. Okay. I like a cream base. We use red beans, and there's no such thing as a cream base. My hand is shaking. Kill him! I put the knife away. Ah! Ah! Because I need the sale. I mean, we can't buy any of these ingredients if I can't make the sale on the walk. I'm happy to join you, but I have a lot of opinions about what's going to go in the chili. Shasta goes, well, hey, we got two crockpots. Maybe, uh...

If you want to throw in your hat into the ring, why don't we get a bit of a chili cook-off? I welcome it. Do you care to make things interesting? Yes, I do. Why don't we have a chili cook-off? And the winner gets a dachshund.

You can win a dachshund, Chastis says to you. I don't need a dachshund, you absolute fool. And I pick you up and I put you... I have a bag of reusable tote bags and I stuff you in with them and I go out the door. Make it a post-athletic show.

Grant rolls a d8 and then I think another d8. He rolled a d8 and went, oh, rolled another d8. Tried to cover it up by rolling another d8. Oh wait, but athletics. So mine is only a 12 and you rolled a 12 on the die. Plus two, I got a 14. He tried to stuff him in and he just uses his momentum to like catapult himself forward to the front door and does a flip landing. An actor's body is his instrument. Oh my god, this guy, I'm gonna fucking kill him.

Well, John Daffodil, Nance Ray, you head out to the nearby bodega. You're not in the main thrust of the city. You're on the outskirts. This is not a food desert, but you do a lot of your shopping here because it's the closest place to just get the basics.

You've gotten your chili ingredients here before. It's close. Easy little walk. You guys walk over. Do you bring cream? Yeah, of course. Cream in your tote bag? Cream is in a separate tote bag. It's very comfortable for her. I shoved daffodil into a spiky little tote bag and he jumped out. You have a spiky tote bag? I just mean there's a lot of like, there's keys in there. Oh, great. Yeah.

Yeah, Cream's, like, feet are hanging out like a little baby papoose, but, like, under your armpit. Very content. Yeah, you walk into this little nearby bodega, a little cling-cling-cling at the door as you enter. It's, like, musty. It's, like, it's a little, I don't want to say gross, but, like, kind of worn. And I think it's, like, fun in the way that, like, bodegas are, like, has its own charm to it. Yes. Are they going to have shallots? Well, there's only one way to find out, Daffodil.

As you enter, though, you see this little man who's worked there for the entirety of your life. It's like a little family-owned business. He's on the phone. He's like, well, I don't know how I'm supposed to operate a bodega without supplies. Hold on. Oh, my God. How's my favorite customer doing, Nance? He also has a blanket on. He's a little hungover. He comes over.

Gives you a hug. I give him a big hug and I scoot the fan a little closer to him. Oh, thank you. It's been kind of rotating, but I think I should just leave it on me. You got to put it right on your eyes, let them sting. It hurts so good. As you, yeah, you enter, he's like, well, you know, I don't know what you're looking for, but we got a lot of, you know, we got a lot of the regular supplies here, you know, your toilet papers, your toothpaste and things, but we're a little low on

on food right now. There's been some sort of supply line backups to Aberdeen. There's a problem in the supply chain worldwide right now? Yeah, pretty much. Because of that Mayor Pete. Mayor Pete, the mayor of Solonport, that guy. You know about him, don't you? What about him? Well,

I believe I've seen him in the audience of the theater a couple of times. If you know what I mean. Oh, he's openly gay. Yes. Yes. He's a gay man. I think that's, is that what you mean? Another gay person who can't accept that someone is openly gay. I've found you. Yeah, I know. My whole family knows. It blows my mind how far we've come.

Part of the platform. I mean, not his platform, but like, it's not a secret. It's his whole thing. You can say it. I know his whole thing is weapons trade. It's not my place to say that. Weapons trade. Yeah, right? Well, yeah, the supply chains are all backed up and...

I just, you know, I heard some rumors today about how the, I don't know, something happened with the canal. The canal lock got all stopped up. Some sort of undead water people out there. Oh, I happen to have seen that. Yes. Whoa. You saw it? I did. I was going through all the Sapphire Lakes. I actually just got back. All two of them? All two. All two.

All both. I've never even seen the second one. That must be amazing. It was incredible, but I did. I went through the locks and it was. And you lived to tell the tale? It was crazy. Yes. And I did live to tell the tale. I killed. I killed and I killed again. Wow. Anyway. Well, yeah, we're kind of out of a lot of stuff. So you don't have any shallots for Mr. Daffodil here. No.

No, I don't. Charlotte's for daffodil. Charlotte's for daffodil. I think I've read that. Yeah, it was beautiful. It was kind of about Alzheimer's. I don't know what you mean.

Oh, no. I hate you. Are you... Is it canon that John Depp... I don't think it is. I think he was making a shitty joke. John Depp makes shitty jokes. Or John is so dramatic that he's constantly thinking he has something new. I can feel it. I did a Duolingo and I wasn't very good and I must have Alzheimer's.

John, you don't have it. You're fine. You just didn't eat breakfast. Yeah. How many fingers am I holding up? Three. You don't have Alzheimer's. All right. What should we do about the supply chain? Well, the supply chain is sort of beyond our control, but there's other places to get food in town. I'm sorry. I just kind of struck out here, but...

It's a little annoying, but you can go into town and it's sort of a bougie affair, but there's the, today's the farmer's market. I'm sure you'll find whatever shallots you need there. It's going to be, it's near Aurora Avenue where, you know, the upper crust of the town. I hate the first one. I'll fit right in. You're going to spend a little more than you'd like. You know, you can just go to the farms.

Yes. You can just go to the farms and buy directly from the farmers. You don't have to go to the farmer's market and make a big deal of it. Because my time is worth nothing. Because I have time to go to a bunch of farms. I mean, to John Daffodil's point, it would be over a day or two to get to these farms. And they're far away. I feel like John Daffodil was made in a lab to piss me off. But I think you might be right. Let's go. Science. Science.

John Daffodil's into science. Great. John Daffodil, I think, flirts with being maybe... He's a theater person, but flirts with being a little alt-right. Conspiracy. He's totally alt-right. Not alt-right. You know how someone can be so left that they're kind of alt-right? He's kind of one of those. You're a contrarian. Yeah. Well, good. All right. Well...

Well, can I ask, can I use your electric scooter? Bathroom? Oh. No, yeah, no. I already did that on the walk. Can I use your electric scooter so we can get right to the farmer's market? Uh, no. You want to borrow my electric scooter? I'll leave a deposit. I'll leave a deposit. Roll up your shirt. It's mine. My deposit is Cream's poop bag. There's not poop in it. It's like, hey, okay.

That's a 14. That's pretty, that's higher than. It's not bad, but like, it's not for rent. It's a poop bag for your only mode of transportation and you're old. I don't understand. May I use your electric scooter to get to the day? Roll a perception. One. Get out. Get out.

He starts throwing... Speak to me that way. He throws an open bottle of toothpaste at your head. It's as big as your head. You get nailed. I say, all right, daffodil, we're out of here. He runs out and he's like, sorry, Nance, I just need my spoon. No, I hate this man. I love you. I kiss him on the mouth for hitting him with toothpaste. Wow.

I feel young again. He gives you a bottle of sunscreen or like aloe, I mean. Thank you. Yeah, I'm deeply. You got kind of burned. I'm deeply sunburned. I don't know if you've noticed. My voice is completely different. Yeah. I ate a hot pepper and I started testosterone and I got sunburned. So this is why I sound so different. Well, one of the three will definitely do that. Definitely. It was absolutely the sun, I think. I said, Davide, let's get the fuck out of here.

out of here you guys move on heading into town

Yeah, you know, it's not necessarily close. It's like an hour walk into town. Yeah, it's a bit frustrating to have to take this journey further. You know, a second trip because the first place didn't have what you needed is always obnoxious. Down on this road, the dirt road becomes sort of cobbled. You get closer and closer to sort of the center. You know, like this town clearly like was initially sort of a port that got kind of built out from the center. So the buildings get older and older as you go.

into the center. A lot of like restaurants you see have really long lines and you start to see these signs for this sort of week-long festival that is going on right now and just starting today called Bounty Week.

There's a lot of imagery of like cornucopias and stuff. It's sort of this like Mardi Gras slash Harvest Festival thing going on right now. And so there's a little, the crowds are a little obnoxious right now. There's more people than you'd normally see here. And even these like restaurants that would probably be a little backed up have lines going all the way out into the street. You know, those lines would be shorter if they could pay their employees less, hire more. Excuse me? Yeah.

Bring on some more employees and pay them a little less. It's the business owners that are getting raked over the coals. You know, I have to hire union now at the theater. The longer I talk to you, the less I even want you to have Inky. And I have tried to kick Inky out of the house. She always comes back through a window. A smart one, eh? She's clever. You try to throw away a doctor. I just try to encourage her to move on. You open the fence and just kind of hope...

Wow. I would never do that to my dog. I just try to ask her to live outside for a while. Inky covered in ink says no every time. She goes right on my pillow. Little inky footprints.

Yeah, as you get a little closer to Aurora Avenue where these sort of nicer restaurants are, the crowds are getting a little more jam-packed. You see what appears to be sort of commotion in the streets. You see people excitedly moving towards something. They're like, is that really him? Is he over there? What? What?

And you see these people kind of moving. There's just this like excitement in the air besides like the frustrated long lines you're seeing everywhere. There is this sort of positive excitement. And you eventually hear some people saying specifically, "Sago! Sago! Sign my book, please! Sago! Sago!" And surrounded by throngs of people clamoring for his attention, you see

Dan, would you describe Sago for everyone? Sago Gleg is a lionin, a large husk of a lionin who clearly has not been eating well, maybe used to be muscular, and now those muscles turned into weight a little bit. He wears the Oakley type sunglasses with the...

Croquis holding him on his head. And his beautiful long mane is dyed bright pink as he happily greets his fans.

You see this, like, someone dressed like a human man with sort of a similar haircut, super fan in the front, like, Sago! Sago, sign my book! He holds up this book that says, Sago Gleg Presents Tavern Spits and Dives. People are freaking out. They're like, is it true? Are you reviewing food around here? Hey, you'll find out when the time comes, baby. Give me that, I'll sign it right here. Oh!

Hey, come here. Let me sign your little costume there. Yeah, this guy has like a really tiny shirt that says Sago Gleg on it. Wow, nothing cooler than sometimes you don't get to see your beautiful self in the mirror, so you get to see people dressed up as you. This man's crying. He's looking at us like, it's just like your books. Give me a hug, baby. Everyone is like, aww, as this man hugs Sago Gleg. Just is like...

This huge lion of a man. And remember, keep eating. I will. I will keep eating. Nance, John, you look over, you see Sago Gleg, and you would actually both recognize this man. Nance, you've never met him, but you are aware of the stories of Sago Gleg. Sago Gleg is a...

multi hyphenate. What would you say? Like a restaurant, like a performer, a host. He does like storytelling at a open mic, but like bigger than open mics, you know, the, this version of the moth. Uh,

Yeah, does all these things. Reviews food. Reviews food, yeah. That's how he made his name. So across Amilar, he goes from town to town trying foods and reviewing them, getting the culture of every town. You've been to Aberdeen. You've been to Shartsville. You've been all the way to Solonport now. Your tales are known far and wide. Nance, you know that, though you...

Your chili night is maybe not like the most known thing around here. And maybe you're more known for your dachshund breeding. But if you could get Sago Gleg to review your chili, that could be pretty sick. In case you wanted to do any sort of like under the table, like sort of like cool restaurant things at your house. That could be really cool for that. I could be one of those people that has like prefix dachshunds.

dinners at their house and they make thousands of dollars per night. I quickly grab Cream out of my bag and I throw her at him and go, "Do your thing, girl." - Cream flies through the air in slow motion. Sago, make a dexterity check. - 11.

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Yeah, you snatch a dog, a beautiful little like golden retriever colored dog. The most gorgeous mini but long golden retriever you've ever seen in your life. She's perfectly manicured and she smells like lavender. Oh, I've heard of a hot dog, but this dog came in hot.

So I go, you look out, you see Nance and next to Nance, you see your former theater teacher, John Daffodil. John Daffodil, you son of a bitch. Is that you? Sago Clegg. Excuse me. Excuse me, folks. I mean, excuse me. Like people are just like getting pushed out. To know each other.

This man, come here. Look at yourself. You look beautiful. I love the hair. Oh, thank you, thank you. Well, you know what you always said. Create the character and become the character. That's right. I didn't mean it for your entire life. I really only meant on stage, but I see you took my advice. And I see... Look at you. I mean, I see this scarf is tattier than ever. Ha ha, that's right. You remember when I swore to never take this scarf off after...

Burstyn gave it to me. Ellen Burstyn? Who's Ellen Burstyn? The crowd is alight with the talk of Ellen Burstyn. She's a little blob that's always kind of popping and she's a wonderful character actress. She was the world-class drunk, but she was hell on stage. A guy who just wants to talk to you just comes up, oh, I know who Ellen Burstyn is. Laughter

- Oh yeah, pooh, this'll be good. - She's hell on stage. - Checks out.

It just hangs out. What are you doing in town? Saga gets this a lot and is just kind of trying to not make eye contact with this guy over here. He's like, really close to you. Not introducing himself. We're having a conversation. Well, I'm coming through for the...

What's it called? The Harvest? Bounty Week. I'm coming through for Bounty Week. I'm trying to find the best meals of Bounty Week as I travel across the lands and, of course, see some old friends and maybe some old flames, huh? You old dog.

Speaking of dogs, you're holding my perfect dog. Oh, yes, I already know. You start signing the dog. Don't sign my fucking dog. Sorry, when people throw me things, they usually want me to sign them. Babies, dogs, whatever.

I look at Cream in the eyes and she looks at me like, never again will I do something for you. Cream just shakes like a chihuahua. Dives into the bag. I hold the bag like it's the most precious thing on Earth. A little baby kangaroo action. In Saga Signature, it's like Zorro, but SG, so it's like pretty aggressive. Cream! Cream!

There's just an ass on it at this point. Oh, my mistake, my mistake. I would never want to sign a dog that didn't want to be signed, baby. The guy next to you is like, pulls up a baby. This looks nothing like you. It's a different... Someone's like, my mistake, it's a different one. Comes up, snatches it away. He just kind of nods. Yeah.

I'm so sorry, where are my manners? Sago Gleg meet Nance Ray. A world-class drunk, but a hell on stage.

I don't know. I deal with either of those things. It's great to meet you. Likewise. Any friend of John Daffodil's is a friend of Sago Glag's. Keep eating. Oh, thank you. You know, I wouldn't quite call myself a friend yet. We're just getting to know each other. We actually were just talking about having a little bit of a chili off. I don't know if you're hungry. Oh, Sago Glag is always hungry. Okay. Especially when you got chili on the mind. I mean, John, are you still making your famous white cream chili? Yes.

You're darn right. I got the recipe from a beautiful broad in a little port city. She was a world-class drunk, but she was hell on stage.

I take shallots and I braise them for three hours in cream. And then I add fresh uncooked pork and let the pork boil in the milk. We did a production of lying in on a hot tin roof that John played most of the characters in. And by the end of it, the whole cast couldn't...

get to the restroom fast enough after eating that chili. Wow, pork cream chili with shallots. That's right. I'll tell you, that was a heck of a show, wasn't it? It's fantastic. Nothing makes you perform better than having to hold in a wet one. Well, it's like I always say, make it physical. Feel it inside yourself. And a big old piece of poop trying to push its way out is a great way to really engage your core. I'm learning so much about acting. Disgusting.

Next time I act, I'm going to have a big mac and cheese bake and a hot ice coffee. Do you act? A hot ice coffee. So the temperatures are battling as it goes down. Add ice and throw it back. So, man, where are you from? Oh, me? I'm from Solling Park. I'm from here. Okay, cool. Here, let me sign that. Keep eating. See you later, dude. Well, see ya. And he stands there. Well, see ya. And stands exactly still.

Just nods. He's just nodding. Well, you know, I've got to try quite a bit of food today. I just had myself one of the famous cream field beignets down the street. And, you know, I'm going to make my way down the block. Apparently there's a little blues house. I'm going to hear some of that famous music. Saga's shirt is a disaster from this cream field beignet.

There's cream and powdered sugar all over it and smeared. It took me five to figure out to make the bite just a little earlier in the beignet and nibble towards the end. If you start digging the middle, it squirts baby! You smell incredible. You smell like cream and cinnamon. Oh, thank you. Oh my gosh. John Daffodil can make any man feel like a king. I can make any king feel like a man.

I don't get it. And I'm happy to move on. Listen, I have a few ingredients that I need to find. John needs to find shallots, cream and raw fresh pork. But I have a longer list I'm looking for. Would you like to come with us and get these ingredients? And then maybe you're invited to our chili night. It's a simple hours walk away. Well,

Well, I tell you what, the one thing I wanted to do was re-immerse myself in the culture. It's been years since I've been here. You're a local, you live here. My good friend John Daffodil's here as well. Let me get one authentic, very tall, slushed alcohol drink. Oh, great, yeah. And then let's hit the road. What I tell you, he's a world-class drunk. But he's hell on stage. I would imagine you're hell on stage. You know, Slago?

Sago Gleg. Sago Gleg. You know Sago. What is it? Yeah, I pulled out my sunglasses. Everybody tries to big time the big man every once in a while, but don't you worry. You know, listen, Mr. Gleg. I don't know if you're interested. You want something authentic, but I can give you an extremely authentic ghost tour while we walk around today, and it'll only be $2,000. What?

Kind of a lot of scams going on. Like, I got like 19 balls in there at any given time. That's how I survive. I tell you what, if I wasn't in a... Look, you see all these people. They bought my book. I got a bit screwed on the book deal. So most of that money is not going to me. $2,000 is incredibly steep. While you're talking, I'm looking past you as though I'm seeing something insane floating above your head.

What? No, so sorry. What were you saying? Shh, not now. Spirits, not now. Make a deception check. That's an eight. Make an insight check. Okay. 13. Yeah, she's fucking with you. Spirits, quiet down.

Hey, I've had a couple morning hair of the dogs, but not enough to believe that bullshit. God damn it. All right, let's move on. So you're heading to the farmer's market to get your stuff. On the way there, yeah, there's definitely like street. There's not like the main drag of bars is a little away from here, but there are definitely little like windows you can get a like hurricane in or whatever. And I'm wearing like, it looks like I'm pretending to be incognito. I'm wearing a little hat.

like celebrities when they go out, but it says Sago Gleg on the hat. Good for you, Sago. Turn it all off for the day. Yeah, I just try to get the authentic locals experience here. Oh, I'm going to grab a drink. You want something to hear? Definitely, yeah. I'll take a white Russian. I'll take the oldest bourbon they have.

So this is sort of just like a window. It's like bourbon with so much ice. This is barely a store. It's like a window into a closet with one of those slushy machines. The guy who's working there is like, we got the slushies. I can maybe just put the alcohol we put in the slushies in a cup. Put a little in a glass. I want to nose it. He does it. Yeah.

It's like fucking gasoline. And nutty. Your eyes are watering. That's beautiful. That's incredible. Pay him double. Again, financially, I am not doing as well as you might imagine. Pay me triple. I tell you what, for my old man, John Daffodil, I'll do just that. Excuse me. Old. I think not.

John Davidoff's in his 50s.

I'm sorry to offend John. Uh, but yeah, let me get one of those. Um, I'll take that bottom shelf whiskey that you just gave him. Way down there? Yeah. Um, and would you mind, uh, giving me some ice? Uh, and I'll, I'll, I'll slush it up for him and make it good. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Sago Glenn. Sago Glenn? Yeah. Uh, uh, sign my, my baby. All right. Front or back? Uh,

The wife. She sees the sign at the front of my baby. You just got glagged. I'll give it to you half price, but if you're paying double, it stays the same.

Fantastic. And I take my rapier out and I start chopping up some ice and slushing it up for this whiskey slush. So we are going to use this 5e variant rule for drinking called intoxication threshold. You have an intoxication threshold that is equal to your constitution score plus one. Once a player reaches that threshold, they are gained liquid courage.

So your intoxication threshold is equal to your constitution score plus one. Drinks have like six levels of thresholds watered down. You require two to get one level of intoxication. A week is one level. Moderate is two levels of intoxication. Strong, three, very strong. And then deadly. Your constitution score plus one. So whatever that is, is what you have to get liquid courage and you roll a D4 and you get a random thing. You get a random positive thing and a random negative.

Whoa, cool. So you have plus one, plus one. So you need a plus two to get liquid courage. You need to have two levels of intoxication. So these are actually moderate. So they would give you it. I don't know what everyone else's constitution score. And then they also have, Nance, they have double downs here. If you aren't feeling like drinking alcohol, they have energy drinks that will essentially do the same thing. Baby, you know, that's me. So yeah, they didn't have white Russians, I'm guessing.

I'm guessing, right? Or it would have come in this crazy-ass tube of ice. Yeah, roll a luck check. Let's see. Oh, not good. Four. Yeah, you know that certain places have the frozen white Russian machines, but not here. Sounds delicious, actually.

Okay, yeah, I'll get a double down. Give me a double monster, the creature energy drink. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, there's this monster spitting out, the spigot of this frozen drink is some sort of minotaur spitting out into a cup. And he looks at everyone and goes, it's a living. It's go time. I chug them back.

Hell yeah. So everybody roll a D4. Tell me what they get. I got a three. Two. One. So one, you get five temporary hit points. Two, you get advantage on charisma skill checks. Nice. For one hour. Do I already have that? You might, actually. You get advantage on saving throws I made against fear. Oh, great. That's perfect.

And then you all also get these disadvantages. Actually, so I misread this. It's not a random thing. You just get these effects. Disadvantage on wisdom and dexterity saving throws. Disadvantage on intelligence and wisdom ability checks. This all checks out, really. Wisdom and dexterity saving throws. And then intelligence and wisdom ability checks.

Okay. So, yeah, you got these drinks. You're heading into the market. As you all entered this farmer's market, yeah, you know, to the guy at the bodega's point earlier, it is very...

Like you're passing a lot of local honey right as you enter. A lot of little pies and things. There's a lot of people. And this is where you're starting to see like, you've seen like kind of like more drunk touristy crowds before. This is a little more near this area called Aurora Avenue that Nancy would know as like where the really old rich families live in Salt.

These are the people who have, like, came from this, like, major city called Malgos that got lost, and they, like, they had, like, a bunch of debts and things to this city that all got wiped out. And just basically, this is kind of a weird example, but, like, they're almost like...

Not that having your debt wiped out by any means is bad, but this is more of the flavor of like COVID profiteers, you know, where they like, like just suddenly there was this bad thing that happened and they profited off the loss of the situation. Wait, so this, this farmer's market, like it, it, so it has like, like a bunch of honey and like stuff that would be good, but it's just like thousands of gold.

It's just like really, it's like, it's just way overpriced. You can definitely afford it. It's just annoying to pay. Got it. But as you enter, yeah, make a perception check. Is that a disadvantage thing? I don't think you have disadvantage numbers. Just to know where the ingredients are that you're looking for. 15. 14. 18.

Ooh, the chef. So you would know that it's kind of a long strip of shops, of vendors. Do you think, I feel like I don't have that many contacts all the way over here, but would I know the bean guy?

I feel like I know, I personally know the bean guy, right? Yeah, no, yeah. Nance, to your point, I think you know, I think you would know the bean guy. I've sold some dogs. I think I'm really tight. I'm a bean connoisseur really at this point. Totally. So like the bean guy's kind of near the back. You would know that on your perception check. John, the shallots are also going to be towards the back. And I think John like comes around here knowing that there are people who would donate to the

Like, this is where he comes to, like, really juice some rich people. Yeah, you see, like, a rich family will see you and be like, oh, Tim, and just, like, kind of turn away from you. Oh, a little bit around here, too. Wait, in what way?

I borrowed a lot of money to start this theater. Wait, you borrowed? I borrowed a lot of money. I didn't understand what I was signing. I am not a man of banks. I am a man of the arts. John Davidell's shaking with rage in the entrance of this farmer's market. These goddamn banks. Always up your ass. That's something we can agree on.

and I shake John Daffy's hand furiously. Sago, on your 18, you would once again notice this guy that was standing next to you, just standing next to you again. Just kind of nodding and looking at you. Cool farmer's market. Yeah, man. Well...

What? Are you getting anything here? No. Yeah, yeah. What was your name, by the way? Oh, me? Yeah. Carl? Carl. Well, really nice to meet you, Carl. Awesome. Really nice to meet you. I hope you have a great day. Hey, keep eating. Awesome. I will. All right. He does a little loop, but turns back around to where he was standing. On 18, you would also see, for a second in the distance, you see the back of what appears to be sort of gray...

skinned sort of thick bodied person a gif or hippocan woman walking through the crowd and she has this sort of familiar coloring and shape that makes your heart skip a beat you heard rumors she might be in solon port but you weren't sure if you'd run into her but as she turns you realize this is a stranger it's just some other hippo lady you all right there

Uh, yes, yes. Gleng. I know that. No, no look at all. Gleng. I thought maybe I saw someone I would maybe take for a roll around the old lion's mane, but, uh... Ha, ha, ha, ha.

It was nothing. Don't worry about it. All right. You know, they're everywhere around here. Tell me about it. Yeah. All right. Yeah. We're going to do great. Daffodil, my man. Can I do an inside check on John Daffodil's sexuality? Yeah, sure. That is a 15. Yeah, John. John Daffodil's bi in an annoying way. Yeah.

I can say it. I'm allowed. So there you have it.

Oh, you know, a lot of people would say that John Daffodil allowed inappropriate parties amongst the community theater gang, but that's what theater's all about. You break down the boundaries, you take the drugs, and you just let it go where it goes. Our bodies are our instruments, and we have to be allowed to explore everyone's instrument. That's exhausting. Okay. As you are shouting about exploring other people's bodies and how you should be able to,

You hear a commotion sort of like further into the farmer's market. Can we go to it? Yeah, as you start walking towards it, you see people like walking away, like kind of running away from something. As you approach, you hear at first like,

what sounds like stuff breaking, like tables being tossed and turned over. Uh, you hear like kind of horse hooves and stuff. Uh, you around the corner to see several men dressed head to toe in sort of feels like kind of festive gear for this occasion. They're dressed head to toe in these purple silk, like jester outfits. Uh, they have these like long, uh,

jester hats with these bells on them but continue down to like obscure their faces and they are flipping tables throwing stuff just causing chaos and then also while they're cackling they're shoving stuff into the back of this horse carriage they're like basically collecting all the food and throwing it into the back of a carriage this is this some fucking immersive improv thing I'm out of here

Keep it on the stage. That's one of the many things we agree on. Does it look like they're a part of the... Does it look like immersive improv put on by the festival? If this is immersive improv, these guys are committed. They are shattering tables. Vendors look scared. Are they hurting the bean guy?

You look for it. You see the bean guy like, I don't want any trouble. They're grabbing sacks of beans. I sprint full fucking full speed at them and try to be as intimidating as possible.

So you get in this guy's grill. You see this. His face is obscured, but you come up to the guy who's sort of the ringleader of this group of jesters, and he's looking at you, sort of these gaunt features. You can see the pale skin under his face, under his little face mask, and he just stares back at you, unintimidated. I'm body checking him.

So, okay, you roll an attack? Yeah. Okay. Everybody just roll initiative. Okay. Your friend's fucking crazy, Daffodil. No one touches the bean guy on my watch. Nice. Five. Nat 20. Daffodil's the first to act. Nats?

Mine is only a seven. Okay. So you see in front of you four of these jesters, and as you go to body check them, flying by you, blurring out of the corner of your vision, kind of low to the ground, with sort of a scarf behind him, you see John Daffodil full of rage at this improv everywhere bullshit. You clowns belong on stage! Ha ha ha ha!

It is so annoying. I get it. It's a movie, but it's in real life. John, Daffodil, you're full of rage. You see these idiots in front of you. They have weapons and they look like they are ready to throw down. They have like swords. John's pretty hammered from that drink. So John is not intimidated by that. He is ready to go. Nothing makes him madder than bad theater.

And so it's like he's grown like three times. This belongs on stage. This jester looks back at you so committed to his performance. And it takes him and he's like, well, maybe. And so can I roll a perception check? Yeah, yeah. Oh.

15. This is... On a 15, I think these guys are the real deal. It's either extremely method acting or they are fanatics. John is so sure that he's right that he still thinks this is going to be some bullshit. And so... And...

senses the physical danger though and so just jumps right into attack great jumps jumps into it yeah this this man has a blade and is looking at you ready to defend himself and so john pulls out the the most decorative dagger that clearly was a prop but is it is real but was bought as a prop

And I rolled a four to attack. So you gotta roll the hit first instead of that. So we'll do that. So you always roll the D20 first and then you roll damage after. So my hit was an 18. Perfect. So that's plus two, I believe. So I rolled a three.

So three, and as a paladin, you can add these smites if you want. No worries. And I have plus five hit points from drinking in the bar. So those are your hit points. That's your health. It's a confusing timeline for sure. I'm drunk. Okay. So you just stabbed this guy a little bit. And he's like, ah!

And looks out at you, and he's very, very angry. You can add a smite to it or not. I'm absolutely going to add a smite. So I'm going to add a five and an eight for my smite. So this man looks down at you. You see these sort of unnatural, fanatic eyes breaking everything, loading all this stuff into the back. Nance, Sago, you look up, and you see John Daffodil feeling three times his size go up to this

creepy ass jester and fucking kill him. Just light exploding out of this man as he shivs him in the chest. And then twists the dagger. So your first thing was three little points of damage and then somehow you killed him. Because it's all on the breath. I breathe deeply and then on the exhale, you see this hot breath come out of John Daffodil.

absolutely smoking this creature. This man falls down dead. His friends look up at you all, surprised to see any sort of resistance here. - One down, two to go. - There's three more right there. - One down, two to go. We'll let On live to tell the tale.

You also see one like on the carriage as well. And on that perception check, I'll say that you feel like there's more going on beyond this. This is maybe just like the one near you. So John Daffodil, amazing turn. Next up, Nance. It's your turn. Amazing. All right. Let that be a lesson to the... Can I do a perception check and see if they want to run or if they're going to stay and try to fight us at the Bean Gap? Great. And also how the Bean Gap's... 16, so 20. Dirty 20.

Being Guy's doing better now, he was very scared until he saw you, Nance. Y'all have a great week.

He's also a little hungover with a blanket on. Oh, my God. Is there a fan nearby? Yeah. Okay, I turn it towards him. Great. I go, do you have kidney beans or any sort of fun spotted beans? I'll check. I appreciate it so much. All right, I turn and I try to death the closest clown to me. So the closest clown next to you, definitely one close by. Roll your attacks. Okay. Right at the jester. All right.

- Not one? - You swing wide. - I use a ki point for sure for flurry of blows. - Okay, roll one more. - Okay. I can take two unarmed strats. - Two more attack. - Great, okay, great, okay.

I rolled a 10 and a 14. For the Flurry of Blows? Mm-hmm. And, okay, let's look at it real fast. The 14 hits. Okay, great. Oh, so only one hit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nance, you're still sunburned. It's damning. You know, you just got back into town. I just got back. Oh, cool, a six plus four. So that's 10 points of damage. I think a Flurry is a D4. I may be wrong. This one, oh, it says Flurry of Blows you can take

two unarmed strikes and my unarmed strikes say d6 plus 4 bludgeoning great nevermind sorry so you did 10 damage yeah 10 damage though you missed twice you punched this man in the head and he died oh my god wait so these are underlings or something yeah okay the rest of them on your perception check don't look scared

There are in it. Okay, Mike, just so you know, so you know everything that's going on, I'm in drunken technique right now. So because I just used flurry of blows, I have the benefit of the disengage action. Hell yeah. So I'm just going to, I'm going to hightail it, use all my movement to get to the truck and try to get any beans that are already on there off of the truck and give them back to the bean guy. As you move towards the truck...

So there should be no attacks of opportunity since I have disengaged. You do have the disengage, but this man has a held action. And he is going to use a spell. Make a wisdom saving throw. And I think you might, let me double check. Is that my disadvantage? Let's double check. Yes. God damn it. Wisdom save with disadvantage. You're making a big mistake, whoever you are. Okay. Seven.

Nancy, you feel yourself just absolutely killed this man in front of you. Run past him as his other jester cronies make their way towards Sago and John. You feel really confident because you do have this disengage feature. You know how to fight. But as you get closer to this, you see this sort of like a jester guy in the front seat turn around and look at you and chant something under his breath. And you feel your body lock up.

and you are frozen in place. And he goes, yeah, and whips the horse in front of him and takes off down the street. And I'm not to the cart yet? No, you are frozen. In fact, you are under the effects of a hold person spell. Okay. I don't know if you'll... Let's see. I've owned Cream for a while. Sure. And I try to mentally relay to Cream that she needs to run and hop in.

Awesome. So give me a animal handling check with disadvantage. Okay. While you're frozen. I have a plus three. That's a 13. Not the worst. Cream wiggles in the little sack and jumps down and watches the guard go away.

- She thought I was going, "Look at that." - Even communicating that while you're frozen is pretty incredible. - Yeah, I would say so too, yeah. - Nance, I believe that is your turn. Now Sago, it is your turn. There are two more of these jesters in front of you. The other cart just has taken off. - Sago is like a bar fighter, but not really a killer and has just seen two jesters die in front of him.

And so he's a little bit shocked and doesn't want to kill anybody as a celebrity, and he's being seen here. That guy is still standing next to you? Eyes full of fear? Yeah, I look at one of the jesters and I cast Detect Thought. Cool. What kind of save does that person make? Wisdom saving throw of 14.

And read detect thoughts, if you don't mind. For the duration, you can read the thoughts of certain creatures when you cast the spell, and as your action on each turn until the spell ends, you can focus your mind on any one creature that you can see within 30 feet. If it has intelligence of three or lower or doesn't speak language, it's unaffected.

Okay, I will say, since this jester failed this wisdom save,

You know that these guys are definitely like the underlings. They don't know the grand schemes of things, but you see images of a sort of grand hall filled with food. You see like candlelight. You see...

wine. You see all, it's sort of this grand feast and you see some sort of ritualistic circle in the center. While this person may not know the whole plan, you know that they are working towards something and you hear the words,

the great feast in your mind. - Okay. - So that was your action. You have a bonus action left and you can move to a degree. This horse is pretty far away at this point. - For my bonus action, I look at my old acting teacher and I give him bardic inspiration. - What does it look like when Sago gives someone bardic inspiration?

Sago looks him in the eyes and kind of like shakes his beautiful mane and it's glistening in the sun and like his jowls kind of shake too but there is like a confidence in him and he says, keep eating baby. And John tightens his scarf a little and nods, just gives a big theatrical nod. Someone in the crowd goes, keep it on stage buddy. And

I'm trying. Oh, and then I kind of look at both of them and I say, they work for a greater power. I don't know who, but these are underlings creating some sort of cultish feast. The great feast. I have no idea what it means. Nancy's completely frozen, but inside is going, oh my gosh. Oh, fuck. Nancy got frozen. Good. A feast, you say?

Cream bites you in the ankle. Or bites you in the thigh, I guess. Now it is the two remaining gestures. Yeah, bites you in the ass. Bites your full ass. Yikes! These gestures are going to go. You two have killed two of them. So they're going to close in. One goes to you. John Daffodil takes a swing. Natural 20. That is going to...

You know, they're not the strongest, as you know. This first cultist slashes John Daffodil. Something about this drink he had made him a little heartier than normal. So what should have hurt a lot more only does... So it takes away your extra hit points and does two damage to you. Ooh, nice. So you've taken two damage, and your bonus hit points are gone. And then the other one is going to come up to you, Nance, and I think take an attack on you.

And if they hit, what's your armor class? 17. Holy shit. You're frozen in place. And this person would auto crit on you if they hit. And they just, I think they're a little distracted because I think they're reading your momentum and swung just away from you and fully misses. Can I, can I somehow be able to say bitch? Uh, yeah. Roll. Yeah. Roll. What would it be? Roll a slide of pants. I don't know.

Okay, that was not super good. That was seven. You go, bleh. What'd you say? From your diaphragm. Dead. John Daffodil. Useless. As you say that, it is your turn. There's two more gestures up on you. Yeah. So I have a lot of grappling ability. Maybe I'm going to grapple with one of these gestures. Great. Ooh.

Which is a 12. Plus, oh, and I have advantage with Grappling. Awesome. Oh, nice. A 17, so. So you have, yeah, you are able to pin this jester to the ground. I want to start interrogating him and finding out what that is. So let's see. Well, you could ask, right? Make a roll, like trying to find out who they work for or something. Yeah, you can make a like a.

you grab intimidation yeah make an intimidation check um uh i have plus two on that so i'm gonna do an intimidation check um a 16 okay um yeah you try to intimidate this guy you feel though that these fanatics aren't easily intimidated yeah um they have like a higher uh dc for that uh

He's ready to die. I think that might be the end of your I was gonna say yeah, but I'm holding him to the ground So don't worry after John Nance. It is your turn. You're under the effect of this hold person Okay spell so that means you can't do anything. Unfortunately this turned except for make this check. Okay, cool I make the check and what is it? Okay, great this one was lower five

But then I add something to it? Whatever your wisdom saving throw is. Oh, wisdom, wisdom. Okay, cool, cool. So that's an eight. Yeah, unfortunately you are still first. Okay, I'm going to use a lucky point to re-roll a saving throw. Would I re-roll with disadvantage or would I just re-roll the five? I'm going to say you can just roll it flat. Okay, cool.

Okay, that is a 17. You feel yourself snap back into being able to move. Bitch! That's the end of your turn, though. That horse and buggy has taken off. They're rounding the corner 100 feet away at this point. Definitely. Sago, though, it is your turn now.

There are two still living. One in front of you that just attacked Nance. One grappling with John Daffodil. John Daffodil is such a good name. Every time I hear it, I just love it. I look at the hanger-on next to me and I say, Now's your time. Grab that man for me. Make a persuasion check with advantage. Cool. This person you would have...

Okay, good advantage. Persuasion would be 23. He nods at you and dives at this guy in front of you. This is a commoner. And he's going to make a grapple check, which is an opposed strength check. He gets nine. You see this gesture, just stiff arm this man and knock him down to the ground. Ah!

It just hits the ground real hard. Jesus Christ. Fuck, my nose. After that, I will say you can still take an action. Okay, cool. Well, I just use my... Yeah, just my claws. And I try to slash one of these guys to knock them out. Okay, cool. Roll an attack. We can do non-infernal damage. So just...

That plus whatever your unarmed strike or claw attack is. 13. Definitely hits. Roll damage. Six damage. Six damage. Okay, this guy gets slashed for six damage. Still standing. Looks at you again with this sort of unflinching gaze that these guys have.

Okay. And so I think that unless you have a bonus action you want to do, probably. You know what? I might say that getting the commoner to fight was the bonus action. Great. So after that, it is these dudes again. This guy is going to hit. Or actually, he took an attack on you, Sago. What's your armor class? It's 610. Yeah, he smacks you. Fuck!

hitting you for three damage with a scimitar. He's trying to kill you, yeah. And then the other guy on the ground is going to try to escape the grapple and is going to make an acrobatics check. You have to make a strength check. 21. Yeah, he almost gets out, but you're firmly holding this man.

And I think that's the end of his turn. That's it for these guys. After that, we're back up to John. I'm going to roll an insight check, plus four insights. So I'm going to try and get some

get some information from them. So 18. Insight would be more like seeing what someone's vibe is like. On an 18 that's pretty high, these guys feel pretty brainwashed. They don't really have a lot going on. I really feel terrible for killing one of them now. Well, brainwashed in a sort of cultish way that feels like maybe they signed on for this. They've chosen this path and

are the worst for it. And I don't know how much there is to do. It's good that I killed them, is what you're saying. Like when you kill a cockroach. That's basically what I'm saying. Maybe we can tie them up and put a fan on them and have them sober up. I like that. I think that's a good idea. All right, let's see. What...

- That's maybe a medicine check. I'm gonna roll a medicine check. - 19. - I point a fan at him to try to un-brainwash him. - That's a really high roll, but not how this works. And you put a fan on him, you reached over and you see it sort of like making his little mask blow in the wind.

Who do you work for? He looks at you and he just doesn't answer. Who do you work for? I don't know. Who do you work for? The divine inspirers, those sirens themselves, the muses. You see his sort of like gaunt, evil looking eyes roll as hard as they can. John, I think that's your turn unless you, yeah, okay. It certainly is. Great, Nance, it is your turn. There are two here. Two left.

I make an attack. Cool. That is a six plus seven. So that's a 13. Hits. Okay. Then I'm going to flurry of blows to take two more attacks. Okay. That is only a 10. No, sorry, an 11.

- You roll twice, right? - Yeah, so I'm one of them. - Okay, 11 does not hit. - Okay, and then another one. Oop, another 11. - So the 11's not hit, but the original attack. - I'm gonna then use the reaction as an extra attack. - Oh, you can use the reaction to attack? - Yeah, extra attack. You attack twice instead of once whenever you take the attack action on your turn. - Oh, sick, great. - So I kind of splintered one attack for three of those, so.

Gosh, darn it. I'm rolling terribly. That's my hand up. Okay, so you hit once. I hit once. Okay. Roll damage. So D6 plus four is a three, so seven damage. Seven damage. Which one are you hitting? The guy who's up or the guy that John Daffodil's holding? The guy who's up. You hit him and he goes down. Okay, great. Like dead down? I mean, unless you would have hit him otherwise. I'm trying to kill. No.

Okay, yeah, you fucking kill this guy. You punch him in the back of the head and he dies. No one touches the bean guy but me. He looks up at you, gives you a thumbs up from his little blanket hungover. I love you, baby. Who loves you? You love me. Nance loves me. After that, there's this one guy left on the ground. Okay, let's do it. Well, you can't kill. I understand high profile. Can't get your hands dirty, eh?

- Is it Sago's turn? - Let me see, yeah, there's this one last guy. I'm gonna see if this guy has anything he can do. You see the horse that pulled away doubles back and throws a sacred flame at the man grappled on the ground to try to kill him. - Is this a ranged weapon attack? - It's a ranged spell attack. - Oh, okay. - So he is grappled, so he's going to fail this check immediately.

Wait, he kills his own underling? Yeah. And hits him. He kills him. He's dead. Underneath your arms. You see this man catch on fire that you're holding. And then the truck, he spins around and gets out of there. You see the horse carriage continuing on. I think for a minute, John Daffodil thinks it was just his own inner strength that set this thing ablaze. It's a thing. Ha ha ha!

With that, we're out of combat, but you see that horse taking off down the street. Are there any other modes of transportation or horses nearby? Make a luck check. Which is just the stairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

19. Yeah, you see one horse nearby. So Sago, after seeing that flame thing and that whatever that great feast looked maybe good, is very curious. And so he hops on the horse and tries to chase down this. John Daffodil, are you going with him? Absolutely. Make an animal handling check.

17. So you nuzzle up to this horse. It trusts you immediately and implicitly. You hop onto the horse. Keep eating, baby. John Daffodil, you hop up as well. I think I... Do you follow? I have a little shopping to do really quick, but I will be following with my step of the wind. So you guys all take off down the street. This guy's like over 100 feet away at this point. You're chasing down the street. Make a...

- I'm gonna say now that you're on the horse, make another animal handling check to keep pace with this man as he's like rounding corners. - All of us? - You can help with this. - 17.

So I rolled a one plus four is five. Cool. So the 17, it's with help, so it doesn't mean disadvantage. Yeah, John Daffodil, are you on the horse or no? I think John Daffodil is grabbed onto the horse's tail. Yeah, John Daffodil's flying in the background. So it's a long tail John Daffodil and then his long scarf. Okay.

And Saga looks back and goes, that might not be helpful. So you keep pace with this. It's still further ahead. It rounds the corner one last time. And eventually you see the cart and horse abandoned.

and you see the purple robes sitting in the seat there, and you are at the entrance of Bumper Street, the Bourbon Street-esque area of this town where there are a ton of bars and a ton of drunk people, and in the throngs of people, you seemingly make a perception check with disadvantage. 13.

On a 13, you know, it feels as though this person headed into this crowd, into this neighborhood filled with drunk people and bars and just sort of a chaotic, unsavory mess that, again, smells like piss. And as you look out into this crowd, we will, in the episode, Wow. Okay. My little bag of beans. You got your beans. I got a little bag of beans. You got a little bag of beans. My guy?

That was the first episode of the Sixth Arc. Thank you all for joining me. It was so fun to get to know your characters and get to revisit them. Beardsley, do you have anything you want to plug? Ooh, no, I...

Grant and I are working on a little film, but that won't be out for a little while. When it is, honey, check it out in the year 2023. When you're listening to this, we won't have started filming it yet. Keep an eye out. I'll keep my eye out.

keep my eye out. Keep your eye peeled. Your eye peeled. That's right. Keep those eyes peeled. Grant, anything else you would like to plug? Oh God. Follow my Twitter just in case at Grant OB. Great. Just in case. Just in case something comes up that I have to plug. Who knows? You'll see it there. Perfect. And Dan. Hi. At Dan Lippert Cool on social media. Uh,

If you go to biggrandewebsite.com, you can get all of the content that my improv and podcasting comedy group Big Grande puts out. That's animated stuff, podcasts, and we're going to put out a new live improv show that we filmed in LA. Four episodes of that. I went to that and it was incredible.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, that was it for this episode. Stick around for the talk back next week where we will discuss everything that happened in this episode and, you know, maybe get a little off leash as well. Thanks for listening. After that disciplined episode. Thanks. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to the Rotating Heroes podcast. I hope that you are enjoying Arc 6 with Zach Oyama as your DM.

Ali Beardsley, Dan Leppert, and Grant O'Brien. If you're enjoying the show, please take a second to leave us a review. It really helps new rotators find the show. And of course, if you are in desperate need of more Rotating Heroes content, if you want to hear more of these incredible hijinks, if you want to hear the latest episodes, if you want to get the arc box where we talk about the episodes, then there is only one place to be, and that is the Rotating Heroes Patreon, which you can find a link to in the description on the show notes below.

But until then, we shall see you next week, Rotators.