Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.
Let's face it, we were all that kid. So first call your parents to say I'm sorry, and then download the Instacart app to get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes all school year long. Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. Hello Rotators, it's me, Zakoyama, and I'm here to present to you today ARC 3, Episode 3. This is going to be a...
bit of a battle episode we have our our amazing rotators for this arc we have uh victoria longwell as freya black jacob wiseaki is grib devonfield as rufus cutler they're they're adventuring into the forest and of course there's some things that best be left undisturbed mate sort of a pirate thing i'm gonna throw in there for this episode
Disclaimer, that has nothing to do with the episode. There's almost, I would say, almost no pirate stuff in this arc. Really none at all. But that was just a little taste for the intro. Anyways...
If you want to hear more off-the-cuff, just really exciting stuff like that, you can head over to Rotating Heroes Patreon, which is at patreon.com slash rotatingheroespod, and you can listen to this entire arc that's debuting on the public feed right now all the way up to arc eight. So that's like five extra arcs. Just thought I'd throw that out there if that's up your alley. But listen...
Let's stop talking about hypothetical pirates and let's get back into the arc. Take it away, Passac. Welcome back to the Rotating Heroes podcast. Here we are in arc three, starting episode three. And I am joined, as always, so far for the third time by...
by the rotators of this arc. We have with us-- We said they were anything but forgettable last time and they have a new prayer bead necklace. We have Freya Black, aka Victoria Longwell. -Hello. -Victoria, how are you doing? -I'm really well, thank you. -Again, from everybody. That's from everybody. -I love that. I'm good.
I'm good. Feeling good. Loving life. The whole stadium of people are cheering right now. Great.
I'm excited. A Friday night record. It's a wild Friday night. We're here to get wild. And speaking of wild, we have our next rotator. They pulled him from the wilds to star in a circus. We got a freak on a lead. You know, this was going clearly nowhere. We have Jacob Wysocki, a.k.a. Grib. What up?
And I am a freak on a leash, and you better believe something takes a part of me. Oh, shit. You're in like a dark room with like little slits of light coming in. You're a white guy with dreads. Where are my corn heads at? Hashtag Griblovescorn. It's Friday, man.
I'm bringing that Friday heat. Yeah. Every Friday. Hashtag grid loves corn. My corn heads. I say the Friday heat. Yeah. I'm bringing the Friday heat, dude. Hashtag grid loves corn. Get that corn roasting with the Friday heat. Hit my line. Hit my Twitter. Yeah. You got to hit them up. A grid loves corn on Twitter. All, all socials. Grid loves corn. K O R N backwards are.
Well, I mean, we'll see if you need a relief pitcher when you're throwing that Friday heat. I think I got your man here. I think in a different life, I could see him playing baseball in a different university. Or, I mean, universe. Transferring here now, we have, with, again, the best intro he's ever gotten, Devin Field, a.k.a. Rufus Cutler. Hello, yes, the best pitcher at Cal State Northridge.
It's me. Two things about corn. One, do you think the backwards R is an option on iPhone keyboards? Like if you were to hold it down, it would display the option to do the backwards. It is a no. Oh, yeah. Yeah, shut up. So two...
Friday heat. That's that Friday heat Jacob was talking about. Two is I used to be a receptionist for a management slash production company, and they managed a lot of very specific musical acts like the Backstreet Boys and Limp Bizkit and Korn. And my last two months there, I was covering as one of the music as like Korn's manager's assistant.
And I would just listen to a lot of phone calls with Korn's manager and the lead singer, Jonathan Davis. And it would just be Jonathan Davis calling his manager in the middle of the day from, I think he lives in Barstow or something. And we'll just call his manager and his manager would be like, how you doing, JD? And he'd be like, not so good, man. I'm sick. I got diarrhea. He just had diarrhea every day and would like call. And that's all he talked about.
Doesn't he have like a coffee company too? Yes! I think he like sells coffee. He has a coffee company? Yeah, well, I'm telling you, man, it's going right through him. So...
That's a little, that's a disgusting behind the scenes Hollywood goss tidbit that I did not expect to start on this note, but I just, I was reminded of it. I thought the listeners might like that corn trivia. That was sick. I mean, that's, I have a million questions about that. Unfortunately, we might have to save some of this discussion for the arc bar. Sorry. Or off mic. I don't know. It sounds, depending on how juicy the goss is. Mm-hmm.
Speaking of juicy goss, let me just let you guys know a little tidbit about what happened last time on the campaign. Oh, shit. Of course, you would know this if you listen to the show, but if you haven't, treat it like goss. Oh, I love that. Let's dish.
- Let's dish, baby. Last episode, our rotators and the rest of Fort Cutler assessed the damage after the big bug attack. In the council meeting following the aftermath, much was discussed and revealed. Our rotators found that similar to cicadas, these bugs hatch every few decades and not like cicadas are able to consume rocks or hewn stone for sustenance. This explains why they hatched and then immediately ate the only bridge to the Weldon Keep.
This cut off Fort Cutler from Cuthbert's forces and led Gunner to the important realization that Waldenkeep, the likely destination of Cuthbert's forces, wouldn't be a stone fortress but a delicious snack for his bucks.
After arguing with the craven Pastor Margrave, Rufus decided to lead a daring mission to take the message straight across the forest to his father's forces. Grib and Freya both bravely volunteered to join, but no one else, not even Philip, answered Rufus' succinct plea of "Please come." Later at night, Freya had one last warm conversation with Mother Willa, receiving a once-magical locket of prayer beads. And after that, Grib set out for some much-delayed revenge.
Gribb turned into a rat and snuck into the castle in order to find Jesse Dugan, the man responsible for his wrongful incarceration. Unfortunately, in his efforts to get past the final guard, Gribb was kicked and turned back into his Loxodon self. Gribb was able to avoid a complete disaster with a clutch charm person spell, but vengeance would unfortunately elude him for the time being.
The next morning, the forces of Fort Cutler said goodbye to the Rotators as they set out for the forest, Rufus once more failing to get Gunner to join, though also receiving some pretty sick bracers. After that, Grib was able to at least scare Jesse with a most intimidating curse-like warning. Our adventurers set out into the woods and after a full day of travel made camp in a small ruins.
Freya took first watch and after hearing a noise, followed it into the darkness to find a freshly killed deer and a dark, mesmerizing beast lunging in attack. And that's where we are today. I think last episode I ended with, let's roll for initiative. Let's still do that and then that will kind of dictate what happens here. So yeah, Scrib, Rufus, Freya, please roll for initiative. Okay. Okay.
Even though Grib and Rufus are completely asleep right now. We're unconscious, okay? Yes. This is an initiative to see what we can sense in our REM cycle. Freya, what'd you get? I rolled a four. No, I'm sorry, a six. Cool. Devin? 19. Whoa. Ooh. Grib? 15. Okay. So the sleepy boys got some good initiative. The sleepy boys rolled the best initiative. It will make more sense shortly, I would say. Okay.
Rufus, you are dead asleep. You've had a long day. You've been running through the woods. You feel confident that Freya is protecting you, right? In your dreams, you are in the same fort, except that it's built out a little bit. It's built into a nice little home. Nice. You're eating a lovely meal. Mm-hmm.
You have a sort of like a, not a Keurig, but like a, what's it called? A Kim X sort of coffee situation. Yeah, nice pour over. It's really tamed out here. Just a stew and some coffee. Stew and coffee. That's good. You haven't tried it? Don't knock it until you try it. You feel like...
There's something, everything's right now. In your dreams, you're protected. But you do look out the window and you notice that there's a little bit of movement and you wake up. It's pitch black. Make a perception check. Okay. Five. Okay. Yeah, you just got awoken from your cozy dream. Grabs a sleep next to you. You don't see Frey anywhere and you don't see anything. Damn. Okay.
So I'm just awake. I'm wondering what the hell woke me up, but I'm not wondering too hard. Yeah, in the timeline of this, just because we're kind of jumping back a little bit, this means that you're just awake when this happened. Got it. So yeah, you're just awake still. At this point, Freya has not been attacked.
Okay. But she's not there. She is not there. I don't care for that. So what do you do? You don't see your... Okay, I sit up. I mean, I'm looking around because I'm going, if Freya has been killed somehow, I am screwed. If Freya has disappeared, it is curtains for me. So Rufus is scared. He's immediately pretty scared.
but he's sort of okay I sit up and I kind of look around in that frantic way that you might look for your keys or something where you're like I think these might be really lost so but if I look really hard right now maybe I'll find it in two seconds and everything will be fine that's kind of the energy I'm bringing to
I'll find it in two seconds or I'll be dead. Yeah, right. So I'm going to get up and I'm just going to survey the perimeter of our immediate camp a little bit to see if I can see where she went. Yeah, there is like 100 feet away, I think is what we said last time. You see her torchlight. Yes. But it's still far enough away that you can just see the light so much. I mean, it's still dark. You know that she's over there, but...
you see a form moving around a hundred feet. Like it would be hard to say like, yes, that's a hundred percent her, but like, yeah, more than likely that's, that's her combat wise. There's not a lot you can do right now without seeing any specific targets. Right. You, I mean, I, since we are an initiative, I'll just say that you can take a, just like literally a, a defensive action of like a dodge action. So that means like things have like disadvantage when they try to hit you. Or if he had something else you wanted to try to prepare, you could definitely do that as well.
I think since I'm in the dark, I feel like I would just, I feel like I would call to Freya. You know, I would just try to call out, kind of do a, Freya! You know, sort of a timid call into the wilderness. So Freya, you make a perception check just to see if you would hear that. Great.
Okay, yeah, Freya, we'll resolve that on your turn. Great. After that, it is Grib's turn. You're still fully asleep and you're dreaming right now. You are walking through a flat, empty darkness. You feel like a kind of a warm glow from your pocket. You can pat your chest or whatever and you know that this is the seed in your
What do you do with it? In the dream space. Yes. You probably put it in the ground. Okay. You touch the seed to the ground. It doesn't fully go in, but it sits there, and you see sort of tendrils of roots coming from it, lighting your path, and it moves...
kind of in a zigzag pattern, kind of fraying out, but the largest bulk of it heads kind of... And as it lights up, you kind of see where you are, and it's like you're basically walking as if you were a giant over the forest. Ooh, cool. And you see the root system keep going north, like you see the Walden Keep to your northeast.
And it goes way past that and keeps going and keeps going. And it runs into this large, large glowing redwood tree that lights up the sky. And you're looking at it. And as you walk closer and closer in the trunk of the tree, you see sort of a different trunk come out. It's a trunk like the trunk you have. And it sort of beckons you forward and...
You hear Rufus say Freya and wake up. Your dream ends. You're in the pitch black darkness. Uh, make a perception check. My heart is racing from that dream. That was the most intense fucking thing. Grib has ever experienced. It was like, it felt so real. Um, but also like so fake at the same time, like it couldn't possibly be that simple, but it seemed like it might just be that simple. I think because, because we're outside and I hear the like name call, um,
Before I do my perception check, can I quickly produce a flame because we're in the dark? Yeah, you can totally do that. Great. So I will produce a flame. A flame sheds bright light in a 10-foot radius and a dim light for an additional 10 feet. The spell ends if you dismiss it as an action or a cast against it. So I think that means I get 20. We get 25.
10 feet of normal light and then outside of that 10 feet of dim light, if I'm not mistaken. Okay. So, wait, sorry, 20 and then 10? No, so 10 full vision and then 10 additional dim. So 20 total. Okay, cool. And then I'll make my perception check. I roll a nine. I think with a nine, you're still unable to see something. At that point, Freya...
It is still not your turn yet, but I will say because of Rufus's call to you, and I think that this sort of motivated you to partially turn around. You did this perception check last time. You turn to see this beast in front of you. You know that your friends are awake, but there's this creature in front of you that is going to take an attack at you immediately.
Okay. So you turned around to see this creature. This is basically how we started the episode last time. You turn around to see this creature. It's this huge monstrous-looking cat that's got these legs that are hard to, like...
As you focus on it, it's kind of like a weird painting where there are too many legs. And then while you're looking at it, trying to get a gauge of it, you notice that it has these two flowing tentacles with these weird little teeth on them. It swings both of them. One swings wide, and the other one hits you for five plus four damage. So nine damage total.
- Oh God. - So you take a slash from one of these things tentacles. - No. - Sorry, what? - I'm crying out in dismay. - Yeah, it sucks. And at that time, Rufus, Grib, you're both awake. This monster's not gonna get like a sneak attack on you guys because you're awake. But another one's gonna come out. Let's just do a D20 roll to see who attacks first. One through 10 is Devon, 11 through 20 is Jacob.
Yeah, it goes for Rufus. It's going to come at you. Damn. It's going to take two swings at you. So this one is approaching from, like, separate from where Freya is, or is it coming from the same area? Yes, you guys are 100 feet apart from each other. Copy that. So there are at least two of these things. Right, so Freya's 100 feet away. Between us and her is the beast, the original beast, and then there's another one coming in from points unknown.
Yes. Yikes. So yes, the second beast comes up towards you and it takes two swings. First one misses wildly. What's your armor class? 15. Okay, the second one does hit and it hits you for 1d6 plus 4 bludgeoning damage plus 3 piercing damage. So that means it hits you for 9 plus 3. It hits you for 12 damage. Oh, so this thing...
Am I allowed to hypothesize of the injury I just received? Yeah, for sure. This thing swings its freaking tentacle around and the teeth on the end of a tentacle chomp down just above my bracers. So he just bites a whole huge mess of skin on my lower bicep and just takes a big old piece out of my arm.
Ooh, disgusting. Disgusting, dude. Rufus, yeah, you got a gnarly tentacle bite from some kind of cat. After that, Freya, it is your turn. There is this beast in front of you. You heard Rufus's call in the distance. What do you do? I want to call back. I want to scream back to him. Cool. As a free action, we'll let you do that.
Great, so I scream to Rufus, but then I realize I got to deal with this thing right in front of me. I'm hurting. I go to my sword. Freya draws her sword in the darkness. You still have that like torch with you. You know, maybe drop it to pull out your sword. Yeah. And take your attacks. Oh, I rolled an eight. Yeah, that swings wild and misses. And also roll an insight check.
16. You would have, I'm sorry, I should have been clear about this. You should have had to roll with disadvantage on this thing because you can't have, it's hard to tell where it is. Okay. And you feel like it's going to be hard to maybe land a blow on this guy. After Freya's turn, we're going back to the top. Rufus, it is your turn. This thing just snagged your skin on your arm. God, what the hell is this thing?
Oh my god! It snarls. It's got these long kind of... You know how bobcats have those longer ears? Like a lynx. It keeps going longer and longer. It's like feet long. And those aren't even the tentacles. I'm just making noise at this point. Over and over. Now, I am asleep, so I didn't have my weapons on me. I'll say you had enough time to collect your weapons. Got it. With being out.
All right, well, and this thing's still right in front of me, so I'm not going with the bow. I'm pulling out my trusty double axes, okay? Rufus pulls out, unsheathes both his axes, and sort of strikes a stance, but instead of saying anything powerful or challenging, like, come get a taste or something, instead it's just sort of a... It's kind of a repeated...
fearful yell and then I'm gonna try to swing on whatever part of this thing is closest to me with both my hand axes do it okay yeah roll your attack okay a 26 definitely oh I'm sorry you have to roll with disadvantage so roll one more time for that so you'll do a total of four rolls 26 16 7 and 10 okay
So the first one is going to hit. Uh, so you get one hit on this guy. Uh, yeah. Roll your damage. Okay. 10, 10 damage. Okay. Um, you slash it with your sword and you know, it was similar to what was going on with Freya. It was like kind of bouncing around. And once you hit it all of a sudden, kind of like, you know, when your eyes are like crossed and then they come into focus, this thing kind of comes into focus. You hit it and it stays in focus. Okay. So, um,
You can roll an insight check if you want about that, but I think more or less, whatever you did by hitting it, it helped the situation. So you did 10 damage to this guy. Amazing. After that, it is going to be Grib's turn. Grib, you have just woken up. You saw Rufus get slashed and slash himself. What do you do? Can't a man get some sleep? No.
That's the first thing I do is complain. Yeah, you take the time as I'm kind of like cartwheeling around with both my annexes. You're doing that take. Friday night heat. Oh, he shakes himself awake. Oh, boy. And, well, I can't do this alone. And he'll summon Zwang. Yes. Yes. Is there a way that I can summon him? So if Rufus is in front...
and the cat man is next to him, that Zwom comes behind. So Rufus doesn't take his splash damage or whatever. I will say you can position yourself in a way that you can look behind the creature and do that. So yeah, you're able to figure that out? Yeah, perfect. So the creature, he will take 2d6 damage just from his jump out. Does it make a save for that? Eh.
Yes, a DC 15 dex saving throw. Okay, these guys are dexterous. But he got a nat 1. Wow. He should take the full force of this, but you see something about this creature shakes in a way that is really unnatural, some sort of weird... Make a arcana or nature or whatever kind of check you want. Tell us what the hell this thing is, Griffin. Dang, 6. Bad rolls for Griffin. Okay, there's some sort of magic that...
you're not quite fully sure is, um, within this creature and it is able, you know, it was supposed to take the full damage, but it only took half. So what was half of that again? Uh, three. So this guy has been hurt a little bit. Um, after that, uh, yeah, Zwom appears, uh,
You guys miss me? And just sort of does the little... What is that dance move with the arms? The cabbage patch? He just starts cabbage patching behind him? Yeah, yeah. The circle arms. He's dancing in place like... Not quite the running man. Yeah, not quite the running man. He's trying his best to be a toy, it seems like. Yeah.
So he hits the guy with fire. You see the sky light up a little bit. You don't see any more beasts at this point. After that... Well, now Zwom gets a turn. Okay, so that was your action. Now Zwom has a turn. Yeah, my action is summoning him, and then Zwom gets a turn. Great. Help us, Zwom! He's going to make just his flame seed attack. Does a 15 hit? 15 does hit. Cool. So Zwom's like...
oh you want a little help any any just like you see him like kind of like hakaluigi of fire onto this uh this like cat creature that screeches out in this weird like unnatural tone something about this creature you don't feel like it is very evil i'll say that it seems evil it's not like you're killing like a tiger you know this is like this is something else yeah something's going on uh he takes eight damage
Eight damage. Cool. Okay. Nice. So this guy's been hit a little bit. He still looks pretty beefy. After that, it turns around and it looks at Zwom, who's smashed it with all this fire. And it's going to take two tentacle attacks, one on Zwom and one on Rufus, because you guys are flanking him on either side. So for Zwom...
Hit Zwom. Let's see if he hits... Does a 16 hit? Zwom's DC is 13. Okay. It rolled an 18, so I assumed it was going to hit. Yeah. Rufus, does a 16 hit? Yeah. Damn. Okay. So both of these hit. We are going to roll that. Damage. Okay. Zwom takes 12 damage. Ugh. Zwom.
I don't want to watch Zwom get hurt. He's so little already. Or is he normal size? Zwom gets smashed by this little thing. How's he looking? He has 35 health total, so he's at 23. Okay, that's way better than I thought. Good. So, Rufus, you take nine damage as another one of these things slashes you and smacks you. Yeah. Not good. Okay, so this thing, this tentacle snaps out and bites my other arm.
exactly the same place that rips out a similar piece of flesh. At least it's symmetrical. Yeah. After that, uh, the other one's going to take two attacks at Freya. This one's coming for you. Um, another gnat one, but at 16 as well. So one hit, uh,
Ooh, not a great roll. I will say, like, I guess Grib is a little worried not seeing Freya, seeing how messed up Rufus is getting. It's kind of like, oh, shit. He's doing some, like, two-on-one math. Yeah. So, I mean, good math to do. Freya, that hits you for seven damage. Okay. Freya, you are... This is the first time you've been, like, really fighting something, even though you just destroyed those bugs. This is the first time it's like...
This is really scary. You're by yourself in the woods, but you can defend yourself, but this is a powerful monster in front of you. Yeah. I'm very quickly realizing I'm incredibly out of my depth. I've never been up against anything like this. No, uh...
approximation of this in the training yard. I've got like a bite across my chest and my head is swimming and I decide I don't think weapons alone is enough right now, especially since I can't totally see. And I think it's time to introduce a little magic probably. - Amazing, 'cause it is your turn. Freya, what do you do? - Okay.
I think, while I'm torn between protection from good and evil and thunderous smite, I'm going to go ahead and cast for myself Shield of Faith. Okay, what does Shield of Faith do? Okay, a shimmering field appears and surrounds a creature of your choice with range, granting it a... Oh no, this is bad. Maybe I don't want to do this. Granting it with a two-point bonus to AC for the duration. But yeah, you can cast that on yourself.
Can I cast that on myself? Correct. You can definitely cast it on yourself. I will say, though, like two more AC maybe won't be the biggest change in the world in this fight. Protection from evil and good, you said, what was the problem with it? It's just that it's an action? It's just an action. But maybe I do that and try and get away. Yeah, you can move back to your friends. You can do whatever feels right to Freya. There's not really a wrong answer here, but...
If you wanted to do Shield of Faith and then take an attack, definitely possible as well. No, I think I will go ahead and do, since this thing is so clearly evil, I'm getting a real evil vibe off of it. I think I'm going to go ahead and cast Protection from Evil and Good. Cool. What do you think this looks like when Freya casts a spell on herself? Okay.
So Freya like reaches deep down in herself. She hasn't had much occasion to practice her magics at Fort Cutler, but it's sort of intuitively, she closes her eyes.
sort of head down for one moment, deep breath in, kind of meditative, and conjures up this spell. Cool. Yeah, like, there's sort of, like, it is dark. You see, like, kind of, like, the torch on the ground briefly turning, like, a light of green as this sort of force envelops Freya and...
you have protection from evil and good now. So at this point, you can also move on your turn as well. You have 30 feet of movement. You're 100 feet away from the other people.
but you can get closer. Okay, so Freya goes ahead and gathers her wits and takes this opportunity to kind of low to the ground run back toward the ruin. Gotcha. You do get an attack of opportunity from this guy who's going to swing at you as you run by. We'll see if he hits.
He did not hit. Yes. So you get 30 feet closer to the team. You're 70 feet away from them. And... Oh, yeah. He didn't hit him. He would have to do that with disadvantage, though, because you have that...
Cool. So that is Freya's turn. After Freya, Rufus, you're up. Okay, Rufus is reeling. I've been knocked on my ass and I've got bites up both my arms. Okay. I'm looking around and this is like saving Private Ryan. I'm seeing Zawam hit. I've got sort of, the blood has rushed to my ears. It's all kind of muffled.
Zwom is kind of flailing around me. I'm seeing, I look to Grib for guidance. There's panic in Grib's eyes. He's starting to get concerned. I'm looking around going, there's no one here to help me but myself. Rufus channels an inner fury, an inner rage and entitlement. This can't be how I die. And I jump up.
And even though it hurts my arms like hell, I'm going to take another couple swings at this thing with my goddamn hand axes. Hell yeah. Roll two attacks. Okay, so. Rufus, you take out your hand axes. You see that the beast is once again obscured in that way it was before you hit it. So yeah, you have to take these attacks with disadvantage. So yeah, they're paired though. So the first two attacks take the lowest. Second two attacks take the lowest. Got it. Okay.
Okay, my first attack is gonna be a nine. I got two nines. Oh, damn. Then I got a 25 and a 23.
Well, the 23, I mean, 23 for sure hits. Rufus, roll damage on that attack. Great. That's 11. 11 damage. Rufus, you've had some dinky hits with these axes before, but you make sure to connect on this blow and you slash into this creature for 11 damage. You really smack it. And once again, it's sort of like vibrating energy just fades away.
it's hurt a lot. It is still really, really, uh, beefy. Um, at this point you've used up all your action stuff. You can move if you want, but then that's like, it can take an attack of opportunity. There's no real reason to do that right now, but, um,
Yeah, it's up to you. I think, no, I think I'm, if anything, I may be slightly positioning myself to be a little more like back to back with Grib, but I'm not moving from where I stand. Rufus stands tall against this creature. After that, Grib, it's your turn. You're still a little on the outside of this melee. What do you do? Grib is a little taken aback by the pretty gnarly swing from Rufus, and he
He leans in as Rufus sort of like, you know, Lord of the Rings back to back up with him. Looks like those braces are finally kicking in. You're damn right. You know, I've been holding this flame and I'll go ahead and lurch my produce flame at the creature. Does a dirty 20 hit? Are you attacking with produce flame? Yes. Yes. You can also attack with the flame.
Although doing so ends the spell. Is Produce Flame a cantrip? Yes, it is. Just to throw it out there, these guys have a ton of health. Okay. Great. You can do that if you want. Nope. That's totally fine. I will... I just want to make sure it's not clear on my end that I'm not describing it as clearly as it. Great. They're still looking good. Great. I will absolutely do something with a higher spell level then. Great. I'm going to cast...
How far away is he from me? So, where would you say... You're probably still kind of in the ruins. So, like, it's, like, basically on the front doorstep of what would be a house. So, you're probably, like, 10 feet away from this. Okay, cool. I'm going to go ahead and cast... And you can move wherever. I mean, it's not, like, right on you. Yeah, I think I'm probably fine. I'm going to go ahead and cast Scorching Ray on it. Tight. And I'll just go ahead and send all three of my rays at it. Okay.
because I can't really see the other one, right? It's 70 feet away. I don't know what the range is on that. 120. You can maybe position yourself to be able to do that sooner than later. Yeah, I mean, the range is 120. It's just more of a matter of if I can stop. You know that this one in front of you has that thing, that shield kind of knocked off of it already. Okay, great. No, no, then I'll do all three at that. Great.
Roll to hit. But yeah, I mean, to be clear, there is an argument for hitting the one that's on Freya as well, so it's up to you. Yeah, great. Well, I'll do the first couple. My first two I'll do on this guy. Cool. Roll your attacks. Great. 16. Cool. 16 hits. Great. So the first attack's 11 damage. 11? Yes. So that did 9 damage, and then you added another DA? Yes. I'll roll to hit again. Ooh. 9. 9.
That does not hit. Great. I'll do my third ray at the cat again.
That also misses. Yeah, these two blasts of fire just somehow miss this cat. It is like, even though it doesn't have like a magical effect, like stopping you from hitting it, it is still like this very lithe, strange creature. So only one of those blasts hit it. After that, you still have Zwom's action? Yeah, and Zwom will just roll to hit. Okay. With Flame Seed. Oh my gosh, these rolls do the nine. So that misses as well, unfortunately. Okay.
Bummer. Cool, so all those, a couple of misses. You did manage to hit it for 11, so it's still doing okay. At this point, it is this creature's turn, and it sees Grib, and it's going to lunge at Grib and take two attacks. Come on, old chap. Grib, look out! That is, I'm guessing, two hits. A 13 and 19 on the die, plus six on each of those, so we got two to six for the card.
So you get hit for 14 plus only three. So you get hit for 17 damage. This is nasty. Thank you. Grib, you say thank you to this beast as it slashes you. Thank you, daddy. The other one's going to take swings at Freya, chasing after you. You do have this shimmering shield on you, your own version of it. So let's see how it does. First attack misses.
Second attack was a nat 20, but it also rolled a seven. So that misses as well. Oh, bless. God is so mean. So that would have been really bad. So that shield's really good. So two misses on you. Freya, it is now your turn. You're 70 feet away from everybody. And how close am I to the beast? It's like right next to you. So it's within 10 feet. Yes. Can I? Okay. Okay.
Freya, again, still feeling pretty messed up, decides to go magic again and channel divinity and cast Nature's Wrath to try and restrain the beast. Cool. This is like a paladin feature, so it's not really a spell. So you can do that without sacrificing a spell slot. It's going to make a strength savings throw to see if it can save and not be stuck. I'm sorry, a deck saving throw.
It does not get hit by it. It rolled a 17, so it is not restrained. Is that a... Yeah, so that was your action. You can still keep running. God, no.
Okay, at my wits end. Get out of there, Freya. Yeah, Freya just at her wits end is hauling ass. Okay, so you take another 30 feet. It's going to take another attack of opportunity with a disadvantage, and it misses one last time. So you are now 40 feet away from everybody. You guys are basically all collected in the same area. At this point, Rufus, you're back up. So you see Freya run out of the clearing. Freya, over here.
Please, please, God, please. I'm coming, but I have no help. I'm here. Like, you've already made eye contact. It's only as I say over here that I notice the beast chasing her. No. Get back. Okay, question. Slav goes, over here, too. Is that his bleeding lava? Rufus, sorry. Question. Question.
Second wind is a bonus action, so I should do it after I attack? It doesn't matter the order. It's just that you only, like, you have that bonus action reserved for whatever you do. Okay. So Rufus once again sees that he's going to have to dig deep and summon up something else.
So I go ahead and take my bonus action of second wind. Cool. Roll that D10 and see what you get and add that to your HP. Roll that beautiful bean footage. I rolled a one. Oh, yikes.
I bat one on the die. Yeah. So you get four HP back. Nice, dude. Not nothing. Not nothing. Not what I needed. Well, what's your health at, Devin? Now, after that, my health is at 22. So I, you know, he kind of, he sort of tries to. You're not able to dig deep as you wanted to. Yeah, I try to psych myself up going, not today, you. Just stop. Okay, don't. He doesn't sell it. But then I am.
Going to attack. So I'm going to swing. Just go ahead, tried and true. Reach him back and swing both hand axes once again, aiming for as close to this thing's head as I can. Yes, since you used your bonus action for short for your second wind, you only get one attack now. Great. And unfortunately, I have to do it with disadvantage because its shield is back up again. Okay, so I'm swinging one of my axes again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Jacob also hit. So I'm going to say he still doesn't have his. You don't have to deal with disadvantage. Okay. So I'm swinging one of these axes, hoping it makes contact. 13. 13. Remember your bracers? I do remember them. You can roll a D4 and see if you hit once a day to add that to that. So if you go to that die on the bottom left. Yeah, I got it. It's 3. Okay.
So you rolled what? You had originally what and you added what? I rolled a three. Okay, so you rolled a 16. You hit. Yes. The bracers have forced my hand and guided me. Guided my swing.
Your new bracers are just covered in your own blood now. You swing down, you hit it, roll damage. Eight. This guy is hit for another eight. He's not looking great, but he's still hanging tough. After that, it is Grib's turn. Grib, what you up to? I look around, I'm relieved to see Freya, but I'm also looking at this foe and realizing, like,
I've underestimated his abilities and his power, and that I need to ramp it up a little bit. And so Grib sticks his hands straight up into the sky, and normally he only uses this to call rain forward, to water the crops. But as you see these clouds come in, lightning strikes down and hits one of the...
The cats. I'm going to cast call lightning. He's got to make a dexterity save. Yeah, Rufus, you look over and you see your new friend Gribb, hands raised in the sky, eyes white like radiums. What in the hell are you doing? Sick. Yeah. You could do this this whole time? I'm a simple normal guy. I didn't know you could do that.
What are you doing? And yeah, do they make any kind of save? It's a dex save, unfortunately. Okay. Once again, this guy is going to make the dex save. It only rolls a 13. What's the save? 15. Does not pass. But something in this creature has like shimmers and where you know that it's going to take half damage, but roll damage.
Great. Oh, my God. Fuck off, dude. I rolled two ones and a nine. So only 11? Yeah, only 11, dude. So it takes half of that rounded down five. I know. I know, dude. I just fucking blew it, dude. I just blew a level three. Come on, baby. I'm pissed off right now. I got to go for it. Can I have three minutes? Yeah. Can we take three minutes?
Similar to Rufus, Grib does this and isn't able to dig quite as deep as he was hoping for. This sort of lightning just kind of shoots down from the sky and just kind of fizzles out on this cat. It's like it got hit by a spray bottle. I look to Rufus and I go, I wasn't sure that I could do that. It was my first time.
Zwam's like, should I do something? Well, if you've got any other tricks, don't hesitate, please. We'll have Zwam just do his typical attack. Does a 17 hit? Hits. Zwam goes, I'm going to call lightning too. And he spits another fiery seed at it and hits it. It's not lightning, Zwam. It is. Shut up. You're an idiot. Oh, my gosh. Another fucking one. Another one. I don't have the juju attack.
So yeah, plus three. So you hit it for four. Four. Okay, cool. Grib's sort of like, this is not going how I want it to be going. Me neither. Me neither. Uh,
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That looks like two hits. Okay. So, Rufus, you get hit for... Hold fast, Grib. You get hit for eight damage. Grib, you get hit for 13. Good land. Bye, sweet Grib. Grib, how are you doing? I'm at 21. Okay. Yeah, this thing swung out at you. The second one's coming up to Freya, and it's going to take the attacks, but still with disadvantage.
Does a 14 hit? No, I think I'm in 18 armor class. Okay. And then the second one does hit. So that will be eight damage again. So you take eight damage. I'm at 12. Brutal. And it is your turn now. Freya, what do you do? Freya's back to...
her baby and that's her great sword uh and she's just gonna go ahead and attack with this sword she's mad though weak cool which one are you attacking because you are close enough you could you could close distance with the first one that they were attacking or you can attack this one behind you i think i'm gonna no offense i think i'm gonna go for the one behind me cool um yeah you turn around stop running you uh uh roll your attack to see if you hit oh
I rolled an eight. Okay, that's unfortunately going to miss. Freya, you miss. You still have your, hmm, what can you do? Yeah, that might be it, but you can still use your movement to run back. Okay, once again, I'm running. Cool, it's going to take a swing to see if it hits. It misses. Freya, you're now 10 feet away from everyone. You're basically in the same spot. Okay. Aswam says, hey, we missed you. Hey, Aswam, I missed you. You were hanging out.
Yeah, we were just like chilling, like eating chips and like we had so much refried beans. No, we weren't, Swamp. What are you talking about? We had a ton of beans. I called lightning. Um,
After Freya, it's back up to Rufus. I'm looking right up, seeing even Freya's whiffing out here. I mean, this is what the hell happened to us. What's going on? Okay. I'm going to still axes in hand, take two more swings at this thing, and then... Do you get two attacks per action? Is that how it works for you? I don't know that he gets that yet. I think at a certain point, you do.
I'm sorry to interrupt. I just get a bonus swing on top, so I'm going to do two quick ones and then a big haymaker third. Tight. Rufus, once again, having to dig deeper and deeper and find these little wells of energy. You find this action surge. You take your attacks. Roll your three attacks. 26, 13, 10. Okay. Okay.
So the 26 will hit. Yes. So roll damage for that first attack. 10. 10 damage? Cool. Cool. All right. So this thing's badly fucked up by that. Yes. It's looking woozy at this point. Its tentacles are kind of flopping all over. Yeah, I caught him good in the tentacle on that one. Nice firm chop.
You cut it... What would be your above bracer spot on your arm onto its tentacle? So you gave it a little bit back what it gave to you. How does that taste, friend? Just snarls at you. After Rufus, it is grip, grip. Great. So because Call Lightning's already up, I'll go ahead and blast it, and then I will heal with my bonus action. But I'm only going to be able to heal one of you. That's okay. It's the problem. It's okay. I accept. And...
I unfortunately will not be healing for this. You healing me? No, Zwom. Unfortunately, Zwom, you can die and you'll be fine. What? You'll manifest. I can die? Yes, you can die. Zwom looks at the ground. Shell shock. His impermanence. The moment of impermanence. You've taught Zwom the conceit that one day it will die. I'm sorry, Zwom. But the good news is, Zwom, if you die, I can bring you back. What? Yes. What?
What? Tell me more. Well, I just, I simply, your soul lives on and your body is made new every time. Swab. You actually technically never inhabit the same body. Anyways, I'll call lightning. So he's going to make that deck save again. It fails. So he's going to take half still because of this thing. Yeah, I will roll damage. This is a little, eight damage.
He's really, really fucked up. He's still alive, though. Okay. And then for my bonus action, I'll cast Healing Word onto Freya. Grib! For me? You're going to get healed five, and then I add a D8 to that. Nine damage. Nine healing? You get nine HP back. Sorry. Yeah, nine HP back. So Grib's hand points out, and a green energy...
Lightly lofts like a butterfly into Freya's cheek. The butterfly kisses her cheek and she gets healed. Grib, how kind of you. How kind and you remember me. Rufus watches this light fly past him. It's coming towards him and at first he's like, oh, thank God. And then it continues on past his face. His mom looks at Rufus like, hey man, I know what you mean. What are you talking about?
You and I are not twins. I just learned we could die. Zwam rolls a 25 to hit. Wow. Okay, great. Ooh, and a six. Plus three, nine damage. Nine damage from Zwam. Incredible. So, oh, wait. Zwam looks up at it and is like, I'm going to heal it too. And spits out another fire suit that hits it in the back of the head, exploding the back of this little thing's brain with fire, and it falls over dead. Zwam.
It's dead? Wait, is that dead? That's exactly what- Yes, Swam, you did it! You killed something! I thought I healed him, or called lightning on him. No, you're never doing what you think you're doing. Hey, man. We all know what that's like. I- No. Starts cabbage patching again. Uh...
Yeah, you killed this one after Grib. One's dead. The other one looks at the other one dead. Let's just see what it does. Make a group intimidation check. So everyone make an intimidation check, and if enough of the group passes a certain threshold... I rolled a two. I rolled another one. It's like the fifth one tonight. I got a one, so that has to be...
But it's a one on the die? That's right. So when it's a one, it's just a one, unfortunately. So two ones. We have two ones. I got a 24. Thanks, Freya. It's like two piles of shit with flies around it and fucking Jimi Hendrix performing the Star Spangled Banner. Freya. Live in Monterey.
Freya pulls out her sword, swinging with this sort of like fey energy of like green, this shimmering shield, points it at the creature in front of her, like just unreal how she can wield this giant blade. And the two of you behind her go, And if you listen closely, you can hear the guitar riff from Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Child, Slight Return. It's just ever so slightly different.
Freya, it's going to take two attacks at you. But you still have that shield up. And it's going to hit once. It takes those two attacks at Freya. Second one hits, and it hits you for nine damage. After that, we're back up to Rufus. Rufus, this other one's not in your grill. This is a little farther away. You can close distance. It's up to you.
Rufus would definitely do something that flavor-wise would be cool, but logistically might not totally make sense. So Rufus is absolutely going to hurl both of his axes directly at the cat. That's just... He could have closed the distance if he bothered to hustle, but he is going to protect himself and throw them. Great. So roll the two attacks with disadvantage. Okay. So four rolls total. Yes. Paired, though. Okay.
Ooh. Ooh. 25 and 10. Okay. 10 misses. Your hand axe sails into the darkness. Ooh. 20 and 13. Second one also misses barely. It's like at the feet of it. Rufus, you're standing, you know, whatever, like 20 feet away without your weapons. That's just so sad. You still have your bow, but yeah. Um.
You had a bow this whole time? Yeah, that's right. That's right. Great. Rufus, that's, I think, your turn, unless you have anything else you can do. No. After Rufus, Grib, your turn. I've never seen a ranger who's never used his bow. A quick snide. I have used it. I'm just not using it right now. Boys! Um...
I will redirect my lightning. It's got 120 feet range, so I can go ahead and I'm pretty sure I can smack. I can smack ass. Smack ass, my guy. So it's got to make a dexterity saving throw. Cool. It's going to make a throw. It does pass. Great.
And unfortunately, if it passes, that means that it's just going to not get hit by this at all because of this trait that it has. Whoa. So this, yeah, this thing has like avoidance. So when it saves for half, it takes zero. And when it doesn't save, it takes half. This thing has avoidance? Sounds like my ex-wife. Rufus. You were married, Rufus. I don't want to talk about it. He's a default sage.
Sounds hard. Boys! Oh, you're right. I'm going to quickly cast Healing Word on Devin as a bonus action. Cool. He's going to heal for seven, plus let me roll a D8 real quick. Eight. Another gosh darn one. And whoever's doing this out there, whoever, I know it's a listener, and you're putting a curse on me. You're the one that's cursing Jacob's die. Knock it off. I'm over it.
It's not funny anymore. Someone has an incredible power over Jacob. Look, if you have a crush on me, just tell me. Don't put a curse on me. Yeah, some witch listening to this podcast. You heal for eight. I got it. Thank you. Bless your healing touch.
Grib. Zwam rolls a 26. Zwam! It's going to roll with disadvantage, so roll one more time. Okay. Actually, how far away is it? It's probably 30 feet from you, but Zwam can move if Zwam needs to, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Terrible. Terrible. Oh, my God. Disadvantage. He rolls a...
- A three. - Oh, a three? So yeah, this seed sails by. - Plus seven to 10. He rolls a 10. - I will say at the top of y'all's order, just to throw it out there, y'all can keep making intimidation checks to try to get this one out of there 'cause you already killed one. - Got it. - Yeah, so Zwaan missed, unfortunately. It is this creature's turn. It's gonna take two more attacks at Freya.
Um, Mrs. And me again. And it hits one more time. I hate this. Uh, this is for, um, uh, it's going to hit you for nine damage. Freya, how you looking? Uh, I am now at a three. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, this thing's remember how hard it was to kill that last one. We will, uh, it's Freya. It's now your turn. This thing's pretty unscathed. Uh, you have killed one behind you, but, uh,
Yeah, this one's still here. What do you do? If I die, we can bring me back? As long as I don't die? Maybe. It depends. So once you get to zero health, you can be brought back with just a healing spell. But every time, every round, like these rounds of combats, you have to make a death save. And so when that happens, you have a positive and negative column.
If you get three positives, you're stabilized, you're alive. But if you get three negatives, you're fully dead. And then there are magical means to bring you back, but you guys are pretty low level. I think Grib may have some things to do, but it's not a guarantee. So it's just one of those things that's like kind of why D&D is like gambling. Right.
Freya can feel herself draining in a way she's never felt before. And she knows she will be no help to her friends at this point if she does not save herself. So she is going to lay hands on herself. Cool. And now you don't have to roll anything for that. How much of your pool of health do you give yourself? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and give myself. Let's see. I'm at three right now.
I'm gonna give myself 11 to get me to a 14. - Yes. - Cool. 14 help. Frey's able to heal herself. You see that shield shimmer, this sort of like green light fills you for lack of a better word. And you like, yeah, like some of these wounds like heal up slightly. We're back at the top. I'm gonna let y'all make one more intimidation check. - 10. - I rolled a one. - 12.
Devin, you might be cursed. Someone is cursing both of you. Look, if someone's got a crush on me...
just fuck off. Okay. It's now to the point where, why doesn't someone have a crush on me? That's true. Why aren't I? Someone maybe has a crush on you in a different way where they're giving you, I don't know, power. Um, at this point, uh, Freya, uh, it, the intimidation check, you, you all look just so tired. It is not intimidated by you and it's looking at you and it's, it's, it's ready to kill you guys. Um, uh, Rufus, uh, you've thrown your axes. That's correct. You have your bow. What do you do? Well,
My axes are far away. It's time to turn to the thing Gunner always told me to practice more than I did, the longbow on my back. I pull out my bow, notch an arrow, and I let it fly at this thing. Amazing. Also, you have improved critical now, so you crit on 19s, correct? Yes. Yes.
Okay, and you haven't gotten one yet? No, I don't think so. Damn. Okay, great. So roll your attack and see if you hit. This one's unfortunately with disadvantage. Son of a bitch. These tricky cats. Ooh. Nine. Okay. Eight. Sort of like an arrow just sails into nowhere. Why is it working? A faint gunner's voice in the back of his head.
Did you practice the bow? Rufus might want to hit the archery range. What else are you doing? After Rufus, it's back to Grib. Grib, you're there. You're looking at this beast. I don't know if this guy's... I don't think this guy's been hit. Well, he's been hit by Freya, right? No. No.
She never hit him. I'm just going to keep this call lightning party going. Cool. There's nothing better. There's no better action economy. Okay. Well, let's do that dex. It fails. Oh, great. 11 damage. Halved? Or did you already halve it? I did not halve it. Okay. So...
You hit it for five damage. It gets smacked by this electricity, and it stops shimmering. So that's great. Now, the beast is going to go. I'm sorry. Zawam is going to go. Please don't. This is Zawam erasure. 23.
Excuse me. And Zom spits a seed out at it and hits. Zawam! For five damage. Okay, so this guy's taking 10 damage. Wow. At this point, it is its turn. It's going to look around and it's going to smack at Freya again. I just, what did I do to you?
But two misses. It's snarling around. It's looking at you guys like it might come back at you guys now. No, no, no, no. Don't go somewhere else. It smells the air. It smells Rufus. No, no. Freya, it is your turn. Okay. Buoyed by the beast's two misses and by my added health, Freya calling on all her battle training,
scrounges up all her strength, takes a deep breath and lunges at this guy with her great sword. - Okay, roll your attack. You don't have to roll with disadvantage now. - Okay. Mother Zophine, please bless this. I rolled an 11.
Pray I miss this again, unfortunately. After this, it is back up to Rufus. Guys, make one more intimidation check. Let's see if we can do it. Okay, guys, I'm going to try to do what we did with bears. I'm going to make myself larger and yell. I'm going to try that. Okay. Zwom stands on Zwom's tippy toes. I rolled an eight. I rolled a 12. I rolled a one, so that's...
It's just despicable. Because I'm rolling Intimidation check, and it's saying 12 plus 1, but you're saying I don't add that 1? You add that 1. I was saying if you rolled a 1 earlier, that that would be, like, a critical failure. So it doesn't matter what the modifier is. So then in that case, I rolled a 13. Okay. Everyone...
Everyone else is still too low. Yeah, you make yourself big. I think it's, like, really hurt. Right, I raise my arms above my head, and it immediately hurts me. I'm like, son of a bitch. What is happening to us? You guys are... It's not a fun time over here. After that, Rufus, it's your actual turn. Okay. I think...
I'm gonna keep hanging back and work from a ranged position. I think that's gonna, what's gonna really benefit us. Now that I've shaken the cobwebs off the old bow, I think I'm gonna give it one more shot. And I'm not rolling a disadvantage, right? Because this thing's still, this thing ain't shimmering. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Here we go. Thank goodness.
Crack him. Please absolutely obliterate him. 26. What'd you roll on the die? It says B. Huh? That's a 20. That's a crit. You crit. You got a crit? You crit. He crit. Rufus. Yes. Gunner's words rolling around in your brain. Just put your elbow up like this. Race it against your shoulder, shoulder, shoulder. That's it.
Try for one. And you let loose. You can roll your attack. With the crit, you roll double dice. So roll... What is it? What do you got? Yeah, I got it. Ooh, 18. 18 damage. A meaty hit from...
Ruthless, it climbs deep into its shoulder. And it pins one of the tentacles to its body. Yes! A little calamari taped to your back, you filthy felines. Screams, this hideous scream. After that, Grib, it's your turn. We're going to keep the lightning going. We're going to be... How many times can you do it? It's just continuous. It's like, let me...
It's concentration up to 10 minutes. Well, okay. So you hit it. It rolls its dex. Nat 1, so it fails. You hit it. Roll damage. Oh, my gosh. 17. 17 damage. Yes. That's a fair roll. To 8? Yeah, sure. Okay, so... No secret admirers here. We can roll a Swarm Hits quickly. Is it 16 hit?
16 hits. Yes, Swap. Now, this guy, you guys have done a ton of damage in this last round. It's still going strong. It's going to take two attacks. It's going to turn around and see Rufus having just nailed it with this thing, and it's going to run at Rufus. No. Just full of rage.
As it does this Freya, you get to take an attack of opportunity on it. So Freya, roll an attack. Okay, I'm just going to try and cut it off with my great sword. I can't let him get to Rufus. Quickly, Freya. Okay, I rolled a 13. Fortunately, it won't hit. Yeah, Freya misses. It ducks under and it's going to lunge at Rufus. Take two attacks at Rufus. I'm sorry, Rufus. No, no, no. Bad cat. Bad cat. Okay, second attack misses. First attack hits and it's going to hit for...
12 damage. This guy, it freaking bites me right above the knee, dangerously close to so many more important things. This is artery territory, folks. This thing stings.
Yeah, this thing is not bucking around. It's trying to, it is very angry at you. It pulled that one tentacle out of its body that it still has your arrow in it. At that point, Freya, it is your turn. I want to just go for it with my great sword because I feel like that's my strongest. I can't do thunderous smite, right? Because I still have my shield on. You can cast it, but you will, you'll lose your shield.
And it's not attacking you, so it's like, it's maybe, I mean, it's up to you. I think I have to. I think I have to cast my shield off. Rufus is so hurt now. And as I described it before, it worked with the bugs. Maybe it's my go-to, my golden egg. Do the thing you did with the bugs. Okay, I will. I will.
Do I do the hit first or divine smite first? Do the hit to see if you hit. Okay, yeah, great. Oh, God, please hit. God, I so feel, please hit. 24. Hits. So you can do the thunder smite and you can do the divine smite. Praise be. Triple up. Bam, bam. For my damage, I did a 20.
Nice. With the Thunder Smythe, Divine Smythe, and the sword attack all together, 20 damage. Freya smacks this creature for 20 damage, a sizable chunk of itself. It's woozy looking.
Freya, after you, it's Rufus' turn. Rufus, it's up in your grill. What's Rufus gonna do? Where are my axes in relation to where I am? They were kind of on the ground. There's one on the ground near where it was. There's one... You have to make some sort of check to find. Okay.
Could I do that? Just to know? Just make a perception check to see if you can find your axe. Ooh, 17. Okay, yeah, there's one that was clearly on the ground where it just was and one that's like a little further away. Okay, is it possible for me to reach one of them and attack with it in my turn? Yes, I think so. You will take an attack of opportunity from this thing if you go for this.
Your options are: go for those, take an attack of opportunity, and then, um, throw one axe, or take just a bow attack with disadvantage from here. Right, because I'm... I see. I'm gonna take the bird in the hand, and not the bird in the bush, and I'm gonna notch another arrow extremely close to this thing, and just say, "At this range, I can't miss." "It's safe if I missed."
Rufus, Rufus, Rufus. Get further away from the target. Why are you so close to the bull? Remember, a log bow is a ranged weapon. Someone's going to hit you with an arrow if you're on the course. You're more likely to hit yourself in the face.
Okay, so I roll with disadvantage? Yes. 13 and eight. Yeah, you... Smashing. Ping, the arrow flies into the air. You don't know what happens to it, but you don't get hit by this guy.
Can I now move at the end of my turn and run and try to pick up one of my axes? It's gonna swing at you, but yes. Yes, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna tuck and roll and try a tight little somersault over to my nearest hand axe. Do you have enough health? Cool, it's gonna swing...
And it misses. So good. Huzzah! You're able to deftly duck under and grab your handaxe. After Rufus... Grib. Grib's fucking so sweaty, his biceps are, like, veined out at this point. He's never raidened this hard before. He's never had to control the weather, like, in such an extreme sense. And he's going to take one last lightning, hoping to take this thing out. So it'll need to make a dexterity saving throw. Cool.
It fails. So it's going to take half of whatever this is. Oh, fuck yeah, 19. Yes. Okay. It takes nine damage from now. It's not dead yet, but it's really not doing great. Then Zwom will go ahead and go. Cool. Help us, Zwom. 18 to hit. 18 hits. Sweet, Zwom. Oh, jeez. Only does four damage. Bummer. Um...
Zwom does 4 damage. Not nothing. It's still up, though. It's looking really, really woozy at this point. Now it's the Beast's turn. Your shield's down, so it's going to turn around and take an attack on Freya. I guess because Rufus ran, so it's just Freya. First attack hits. Second attack misses. So that will be 10 damage.
Okay. What are we at? I am at four. So one hit on you as this snarling beast, just like kind of almost dying. It's trying to kill you before it does. At this point, Rufus, it's back to you. You have your hand axe. I'll say the other one's close enough that you can pick that up as well. Great. I grab my two axes, and now am I throwing distance, or can I swing these things? You spent your turn getting there, so you can spend your turn getting back. Great.
So I'm going to pick up both axes and go, I've had just about enough of this shit. And I'm going to charge at him, screaming, just channeling the very last bits of his rage and energy and fervor and dignity. Sweating and bleeding and screaming, I charge at the beast and swing both axes. Incredible. Roll your attack. And is it hit? It was just hit, so not with disadvantage. Oh, wow.
A seven and a 15. The 15 hits. Yes. Yes. Seven. Seven damage? Oh, man. Oh, man.
Give me the kill stroke. You're going to be so mad. It is still alive. You drive your axe basically into its skull, and it looks like it's about to die, but it's still like, you realize it is still up and looking at you. This beast cannot be killed. It's the only explanation. Grib, it is your turn. I just want to sleep. With a crack of the lightning. It fails its save.
Great. I'm going to roll the damage. I would love if the lightning hit the axe and went through the axe. You don't even have to roll damage. The lightning strikes through the axe, driving into this creature's head. You see its eyes fill with lightning, and it shoots out of it, and it just falls down dead.
The axe blade just like glowing hot. The handle itself smoking this beast instead. Grib falls. Rufus bursts into tears. To his knees. Yeah. Just like adrenaline tears. Freya's period started because this was so long. A lot of emotions at play.
God. Zom tries to get everyone to come closer for a group hug. What happened to us? It's okay. Those things were a lot harder than I thought they would be.
Yeah, that's certainly correct, Swam. While Swam's down there, I do want to put my hand on his shoulder and reassure him. Swam, I want you to know that you and I are bound through our souls. So as long as I'm alive, you will be alive as well.
I can't believe in the middle of that fight we learned about life and death. And Gribb does the same thing apply to me? Are we also bound? Absolutely not. Okay. Well, it is still midnight. What do you guys do? You're in this forest still. At this point, make perception checks, if you like. Can I? Well, I'll do the perception check first. Ten. Fourteen.
Nine. Grib, I think the fortune's good enough. It doesn't seem like... It seems like the loud, raucous fight you guys had with lightning striking down, multiple strikes. Yeah, it just was like... It's such a commotion. You assume that animals probably would have run away from this. You don't know about everything, but it seems like these were definitely the bigger predators in this area. I'm going to look to the group, my eyes baggy,
just absolutely destroyed. And can I just put one of the heads of the critters like on a stake and a sort of a, like a,
um, heart of darkness kind of vibe. Oh God. Like in a moment of delirium. Grib, you, you're able to, I guess you can take that like hand ax out of its head and just chop it down. Oh God. I mean, you can honestly like dress this if you want, uh, and, and get things from it. But, uh, yeah, you, you chop it set up, put it on a steak, put it outside, uh,
near the fire you guys had earlier. It's just like horrifying. Yeah. Beast. Does anybody need to be healed before I go back to bed? Yes. I met, uh,
I meant 10. So Rufus would definitely love... Oh, I mean, we're all about to rest, though, so it actually is redundant. No, honestly, it's not redundant just because you don't know if you get attacked at night and your spells come back the next day. Great. Then I'll heal both of them with a level 2 cure wounds. Cool. Yeah, Zwom is like, I could stay up and watch. That would be much helpful, Zwom. How long do I last? How long?
You guys get healed a little bit. And yeah, you're able to...
Find some sort of rest after this horrible battle. These horrifying creatures came after you guys. So I'll say after that fight, that was such a crazy fight. It was so loud that it's safe to say that things would have been driven away by that. Anything that would have been that close to Fort Cutler, at least. So you guys are able to take a full night's rest. You get healed up. Long rest. Thank goodness. Yes, a long rest. You get all your spells back and stuff. The next morning...
um there's these two disgusting giant carcasses of these evil looking cat beasts on the ground one decapitated by grip uh you guys are actually able to get some rest uh i'll say like a grip when you cut off the head of this monster you're able to like kind of dress it and uh roll a d6 for me absolutely
A four. Okay, you're able to get four of the Displacer Beast's paws. Okay. The Displacer Beast. It seems like there's some sort of magic to it. You're also able to get...
the hide of the beast okay cool and uh yeah you put that in your inventory that's just something you have you guys go back to uh to bed that night and you're able like it feels like you've you've cleared the area you all go to sleep pretty uneventfully at this point compared to what was just happening and uh rufus you have a dream where you are back in this house again oh thank god
You're sitting there, you're drinking your coffee, you're eating. Black coffee and stew, just the way I like it. The stew weighs you down, the coffee wakes you back up. It's the perfect combination. You're smelling your different hot liquids and you look out the window. Hot and brown, that's how I like it. And in the distance, in the forest line, you see the silhouette of this large, hulking figure.
this beast-looking creature that is standing up on two legs. Everything looks dark except that it has these haunting red eyes, and it looks at you and it says, "You need to wake up." Then you wake up and it's morning. I sit bolt upright, it's morning. I look around, I swallow, and I think, "Well, best not to tell anyone about that ever."
Uh, so the next morning you guys set out like, uh, make some survival checks and we will, uh, figure out how this goes forward. So yeah, just make a survival or, you know, you could even make a nature check if you follow. 22. Ooh.
Grip's feeling refreshed. 18. Rufus, you're still a little shell-shocked from that dream. You don't really know what that fucking means. No, I'm fine. No, I'm actually fine. I'm totally... I'm ready to go. Who are you talking to? I'm talking to everyone who asked, and I just wanted to let everyone know I am ready to continue. That's why I'm packing my bag. I'm ready to keep going, so...
Rufus is stuffing everything in his bag. Still bleeding a little under my bandages around my two arms and my leg, but pretending that I'm not bleeding through those bandages. Rufus, I'm trying to curate a safe space if you'd like to talk about anything that's going on. Oh, sure. I'm happy to talk about the...
brilliant kill stroke that you capitalized on my perfect setup. I mean, I really lobbed that up for you beautifully and you executed. So thank you for seeing what I was laying down. Yes, of course. I couldn't have done it without you. See, you heard it. Grib, you feel something on your thigh. What's on your thigh, Grib? I look at my tattoo. You look at your tattoo of Ragnaros and out from behind it.
Is why I'm pokes out. He's in the tattoo. I'm going to hang out in here, okay? Yes, actually. I really like that you're close. Who's Grib talking to? They can't hear me. Hey, I'm going to just scream and only you can hear it. If I talk out, can you hear me if I don't talk out loud? Can you hear me if I'm thinking in my head? Like right now, I'm thinking in my head. This is me thinking in my head. Can you hear this? It's so loud.
Anyways, I'm just here. That's very comforting. I was going to say, good work last night. That's all I had. I forgot what someone else said that reminded me of me. Good night. Hey, this has been awesome, Zwom. Have a wonderful evening. All right. So at this point, you guys pack up. With those survival nature checks, that's good enough to try to pick back up where you were left off.
there's not really a trail anymore. There was a bit of like, this was a path, you know, decades ago when your father was like a young man, Rufus. So like, there's like remnants of that around here. Like this was like some sort of like old little outpost maybe at some point. So you have to like kind of bushwhack your way through this area. - This is perfect. We'll follow the old Cutler path. No path I know better than the Cutler path.
you're able to like kind of eventually hit a point where it feels sort of like a natural trail, um, or just sort of like, you can kind of follow the way that, uh,
the forest has like grown to kind of tell where it used to be. You know, the general direction also you need to head. So like, it's a pretty much straight shot from where you were, but obviously with like hills and large trees and things in the way. And you keep going this direction until eventually everybody make a perception check. Okay. I think because the danger behind it, this is also like, it's a little refreshing for grip to just kind of be like in the wilderness. I think he's like brushing his teeth.
Incredible.
Grib, yeah, you take in your... Breathe out of your long snout. You suck these berries up. As you get... What were those perception checks? 13. 16. 23. Yeah, with those checks, as you keep going forward, you start to hear something, and it sounds like... You can't see it yet, but you hear the rush of water. And as you continue forward...
You cut through these woods until you see this large river running through. Ah, yes. Cutler River. Is it named that or you just ascribe Cutler to everything? No, yes, of course it's named this. It was discovered by the Cutlers, by my great-great-grandfather hundreds of years ago. Well, regardless, I'm happy to see it. Just not the most inventive name, really. What are you talking about? It's named after us.
You just didn't get a cool name or anything like that? It is a cool name. It's our name. It's a good name. I'm sorry, what are we discussing? What's the point? My name isn't good? I'm sorry, I got a really good answer. Black River would be very good. Yeah, it is a 50-foot-wide river rushing from your right to left across. With those perception checks, you notice that further down to...
probably like a hundred feet to your, um, to your, the east view. There is like the semblance of what used to be a crossing here. Uh, it looks at like a rotted out, uh, bridge, uh, with a few posts, uh, still remaining. And as you guys, uh, look at this river situation, uh, in front of you, I think we're going to end the episode there. Wow. Wow.
Man. Brilliant. Took everything we got to get to that damn road. Now we're stuck. How far across did you say the river was? It's like 50 feet. Okay, cool. The forest got its pound of flesh from us today, gang. It is a honestly slog of a fight. I really underestimated this monster on paper, and it...
Seems difficult. It was a big, thick boy. And we can talk more about that on the Arc Bar. For now, thanks everybody for listening. You can listen to these fine folks on some other podcasts. What do we got? Oh yeah, please check out my podcast with Talia Tabin, Friends Talk Frasier and Feelings, where we talk about Frasier and...
just general mental health appreciation. I love it. I mean, you gotta. You gotta. And please listen to my podcast with Greg Gallant called First Hand where we talk to funny people and pretend we all saw an important event in history and everyone on this podcast has been on that podcast. A very fun pod. Very true. It's a great pod. Jacob, I've already plugged your tremendous work on your Fight Club podcast but if you'd like
Sure, why not? You can listen to a podcast, an experimental podcast I did called I Don't Want to Talk About Fight Club Anymore, where I stayed up for 72 hours and watched Fight Club on a loop. Check it out on HeadGum. Thank you for your time. Incredible stuff. Hey, you know, we're bringing that Friday heat. Is that what it was? Friday heat. Friday heat. We brought that Friday heat.
I don't remember the hashtag. I don't recall. Hashtag Grib Loves Corn. Yeah, Grib Loves Corn. So yeah, reach out to Jacob on Twitter at Jacob Wysocki, Grib Loves Corn. And if you look at the Rotating Heroes Pod Twitter handle, it has everyone's Twitter in it. So check that out and we'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye.