Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.
Let's face it, we were all that kid. So first call your parents to say I'm sorry, and then download the Instacart app to get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes all school year long. Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. Hello, Rotators, boy. We've got a treat in store for you today. It is the finale of...
arc 2 that is right arc 2 episode 4 very excited we've got another full soad for you today uh not gonna do part 1 part 2 for this episode because it's the finale and we wanted you to be able to digest the whole thing in all of its glory and it means that next week we can start on arc 4
Episode 1
If you want to hear Arc 3, Arc 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8, you'll be able to listen to all of those arcs in their entirety next Friday. Everything will be out for Arc 8. Obviously, you can go ahead and check out the picture right now and you'll get access to everything.
Arcs 1 through 7 and the first three episodes of Arcade and then the fourth episode of Arcade will be releasing next Friday. I hope you go and check it out. It's gonna be a ton of fun. Very excited to be wrapping up my first Arcus DM. This has been such an amazing journey and I'm very, very excited to be here. But I'm really, really excited to see how this little adventure here ends for our crew because we do nothing if we do not stan Ali Beardsley and Nancy Rae Gann.
So I hope that you've been enjoying arc two, please let us know, leave us a review so that more people can find our show and yeah, check out the Patreon, check out the Patreon anyway, because you can join as a free member as well, where you can get access to updates and things like that. We generally try to run the show through the Patreon. It's just like an easier place for you guys to get all of your information, all of the rotating hero stuff. If you want to hear about it, the first five
place to hear about it will be over on the patreon including next week we will be releasing a monthly update episode which is where me and zach chill out and talk about everything that's happening within the world of rotating heroes and we uh will actually be revealing the cast for
arc 9 in our monthly update next week you don't even have to be a patreon member to hear the monthly updates you just need to be a member on the patreon you can sign up for free on there and then you'll get a notification when the monthly update is posted and we'll be dropping the cast for arc 9 so please get excited it's going to be amazing we've got a great great great great cast and i'm looking forward to telling you all about it so
Without any further ado, without any more of me blabbering on, why don't we go ahead and listen to this amazing episode with your DM, Zakoyama, who was in the past, taken away past Zach. Welcome back to the Rotating Heroes podcast. We are on arc two, episode four, the final episode of the second arc of
Can't believe we've gotten here. I'm joined, as always, so far, for the final time by the rotators of the second arc. I have with me the Loxodon Druid Gribb, aka, fill in the blank, please. - Jacob. - Jacob. - Through a little bit of a curve ball, went to the guy who usually goes last. - Fill in the blank.
He added in the chamber already. There's nothing else to do. It's got to be the first thing. Like I said, consistency, man. Click, click, boom, baby. Hashtag first kill gang. Oh, God. You just heard their voice. Hashtag first kill gang. Hashtag.
We have the human monk, the way of the drunken master, but way of the double down is more like it. We got fill in the blank please. - I'm gonna fill up the bank.
No. We're on the start already. This is feeling very focused and very easy to follow. Yes. Well, I guess I'll just say their name. This is Nance, a.k.a. Ally Beardsley. Hey, what's up? All right, here's a roll for how this finale will go. Literally a nat 20.
No way. Literally, not 20. Here we go. Bullshit. Bullshit. Sadly, sadly wasted here. Prove it. Prove it. That's crazy. That is crazy. Finally. Yeah, that is crazy. That is crazy. Speaking of crazy, the madman himself. The madman. The mad hatcher of the group. The clockwork sorcerer gnome. Turbine Spizzlesync, aka fill in the blank, please. What's up?
Not even committing to the what's up. No, this is... Hi, it's me. It's Mike Trapp. What's up? Hell yes. Three rotators with the exact same name separated at birth, baby. Zach, I'm not going to do this, but I all week was making myself laugh thinking about...
Like if you're on someone else's podcast at any point, you really could just be like, and we're going to find out about that after the break. We're going to take a quick break. And after that, find out. Find out what? Just that cadence popping into that cadence. I feel like it's so jarring for a listener. They're like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. I really wouldn't know what to do with that if we took a break already. That's crazy. After the break, we'll find out just what happens to grit. Yeah.
Guys, a good night's sleep is so important. That's why Casper mattresses make it so important. We just do our own toothbrush commercials. Yeah. People are like, aren't I paying for this? Yeah. Isn't this a Patreon? Why are there ads in here? Well, that's how podcasting ads work. You just read the ad and then they have to pay you. It's kind of like a royalty, right?
Exactly. Yeah. Definitely. That's how it works. Yeah. They get locked into it just by us mentioning it. Yeah. That's why I'm sponsored by Nike, Microsoft, Tesla, Bitcoin, the idea of it. Wow. Just the concept of. Elon Musk personally. Yes. Well, enough bullshit. Let's get right into it. I'm scared. I'm so scared. Okay.
Oh god, as you should be. Speaking of scary things, let's get into the recap of last episode. So last time on the Rotating Heroes pod, Turbine, Grib, and Nance, and everyone aboard the Seagrass had a bit of a breather after making it through the turbulent waters and rocky outcrops near Solonport.
Once in open waters, the crew decided to spend a little time investigating just exactly what was going on with their charter guests, the obnoxious rich family with seemingly some secrets, the Dugans. While Nance consoled Bexy, Griv and Turvine were able to catch Jesse Dugan Sr. when he was a little in his cups and feeling honest. He confided in them that per some gambling debts, he was forced to do a favor for Roland Vokes, a rival family on
Aurora Avenue and turn a blind eye to some cargo being added to the Delsham's diplomatic mission, which led to the Delsham family sending the Saltbreakers after their voyage. No thanks to Cream, Grib, Turbine, and Nance met back up and searched the cargo. With Turbine's Nat 20 perception check, they were able to easily spot the added cargo and found an assortment of weapons, armor, and cases of wine.
Without knowing 100% what was going on here, they were hesitant to mess with it much further, though Turbine took a chain shirt from the Dugan supplies and Nance unsheathed the sword before putting it back. Upon waking up the next day, Nance discovered she was not feeling great and had possibly been cursed by the artifact she touched. Eventually, they arrived to the connection between the Sapphire and East Sapphire Lakes.
the ancient man-made canal locks. Though rumors of how weird and shitty the lock keeper was preceded him, he ended up being a completely different type of weird and shitty. As the crew...
As the crew of the Seagrass entered the first lock, they discovered that the lockkeeper had become one of the Drowned, a waterlogged undead zombie, and to make it much worse, was commanding a squadron of sailors turned Drowned Ambushers, trying to drown everyone on the boat. Bunch of turnt sailors, yeah. Can't even fucking swim, huh? Yeah.
Little babies can't swim. Get them, dude. The seagrass pressed on, pushing back wave after wave of drowned zombie while Nance opened the valves to release the much-needed water to progress forward. After several punishing rounds, the entire crew made it to the final log, but were stuck behind one final closed gate.
On a nat 20 perception check, Grib found the source of the mess, a huge mass of drowned zombies blocking the gate in the depths below. Running out of options and dangerously low on HP and spells, the Seagrass' brave tortle captain Yareth chose to make a daring and extremely dangerous play. He handed Grib his staff of bird calls and dove down into the waters below to Thunderwave.
but at the same time leaving himself surrounded and completely vulnerable to the drowned horde encircling him. And we continue this episode, still in initiative, right now! Let me just set the stage a little bit. That'd be great. And give you guys sort of the rundown of where we really left off, because outside of the recap...
So this is the situation. You guys are in this final lock of this canal lock. You don't have to go up any more elevation at all. You're at the right elevation. But all the little babies are holding it closed, right? Yes, that gate was closed. But Yareth dove down below and used his thunder wave, which pushed them out of the way. It was like they were holding a door closed and got moved out of the way. So now the door is going to open no matter what at this point.
Cool. But the problem is Yareth is still down there surrounded by these zombies. Elsewhere though, a thing that we forgot to touch on from last time, the hypnotic pattern that Turbine used to sort of stop half those archers was a concentration spell. So apparently when he used haste, that went away. So those archers may eventually show up sooner than later. They were a little bit far away from where you are right now. That said,
you also don't know where the lock keeper is the last like turn or two of the fight he was far above you doing something your crew members are all technically up with very little hp i could have made a mistake here with that but they're all technically up according to my numbers that said yarith just went nance it is your turn you see
Yareth, in the depths below, about 20 feet down, surrounded by these zombies. He was able to push half of them back, but half of them are still pretty close to him. He could not survive. It's complicated to say for sure, but odds are he won't survive more than a round down there. So that's the position you're in at this moment. Everyone else is on the boat. What do you do?
And the doors are opening? Like, the ship could start moving? The doors are starting to open now. The fact that he was able to push half of them away has started the process of the doors opening, and they're not going to be able to stop it anymore. So the doors will be open. Okay. I guess...
Wow. So we have everybody. We're all super fucking low on HP. There are archers, and Yareth is underwater, potentially about to die, because he has, like, what, four hit points or something like that? Yeah, it's 10 HP, but there's, like, I said, 30 zombies down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they will go before he goes. Yeah, yeah, totally. And before Grib goes. Okay, so I guess let's get some people...
below board? Can I turn to Grib and Turbine really quickly and be like, what should we do? Should we get some people to safety so that we're then not trying to bring people back up? Save my papa. Okay, great. Grib, thank you. Yeah, make an insight check if you want. All right. Insight. Yeah, 15. Yeah, it's a really bad situation.
The most pressing thing by far is Yara. Yeah, yeah. If you spent your turn, like, taking people below deck, that probably won't be the best use of your time. Okay, I guess I'm just going to shout that to them so that they're aware that that's on their two, and then I'm going to say, "'Kawabunga!" And reverse swan backflip into the water. So the wrong emphasis on "'Kawabunga!"
You hear this strange, like, kind of surfer lingo used in a very dramatic fashion as Nance splashes into the water. Nance, you're in the water. You see Yareth surrounded by these drowned blades. Half of them got knocked away that he was able to hit. Like, he hit 15 of them with the spell, and half of those guys got knocked away. There's still a good bit near him, but you know that from how attacks of opportunity work, like...
If you were to move him out of the way, he wouldn't be hit. You might take a swing or two, but... Yeah, definitely. And they can't swim either, right? I really just have to lift him higher than they can reach. True. That's exactly true. Can you take him higher? Higher than he's ever been before. I was right about that. Okay. There's about five songs. Can we get much higher? Oh, wow.
Okay, I reach down and I grab the turtle from Rocco's Modern Life and I lift him up. His name is Filbert. I'll say you can make an athletics or dexterity check to grab him. Okay, great. Okay. Oh, I'm going to do a dex, baby. That's plus seven. 28. Oh, no, sorry, sorry. I went the wrong way. 26. I got a 19 on the die.
Damn. Hell yeah. So you're able to snatch this turtle by a shell and start pulling him up. There are still like three. I would say there's probably three within distance of you that are going to take attacks of opportunity. If you do this, it is kind of you're out of really much more options than that. Yeah. So I'm going to roll some swings. I hope you roll like really bad, man.
- Yeah. - So that's one hit on you. - Woo! - And 18 on the die. - What's your HP at, Nance? - 22. - Okay. - So not the worst, but not the best. - So you're gonna take five damage from one of these like rusty swords that they swing out. - Gross. - As they're like, these weird dead-eyed zombies look up at you, unable to do much, but still unable to hit you with a rusty sword.
Cool. But you got Yurith and you're able to, I think you have enough movement to move away if you take a whole dash action. Yeah, yeah. That's all I'm doing this turn for sure. I'm just getting him higher. Cool. So you kick as hard as you can to lift this heavy turtle out of the water. Mm-hmm.
He's underwater, so he's a little lighter. But you had to swim pretty far below. You're able to get up to the back of the boat and make one last dex check to see if you can pull him back up. People are there to help you. 19. Great. So that will get Yurith safely back on the boat and you can climb up as well. Cool. My papa, my papa. I stash him below deck. What's going on? Amazing.
So Yareth is back on the boat. He is unscathed in a way that honestly shouldn't be possible. But you got him back on the boat. He still looks like
Like he thought he was dead. Like he's just like, you know, spitting up seawater. Like blinking a lot. You see this big turtle hugs you, Nance. You feel this kind of long turtle claws on your back. Stubby. After Nance, Turbine, it is your turn. Y'all are still on the other side.
of the gate okay what do you uh there's not any enemies that you can really see from here um you know that the archers are coming but they're not here yet okay to this last lock uh cool so we are basically we are like we're slowly like creeping through these gates which are open well yeah the problem is there's uh yareth was in the water so no one is guiding the boat at this time
Got it. Can I guide the boat then? Yeah, you can make a check and see if you can move the boat forward a little bit. Yeah. I'm going to fucking pedal to the metal. Let's get this boat out of here. Okay.
How do boats work? It's a big old pedal, right? You just sort of press it and the gas goes. What check do you want me to do? Make a history check. Okay. DC 15. And if you do that, we'll let you use another history check to guide the boat. Okay, cool. So this is like a check to see if I've ever like read anything about like maritime whatever. Let's see. I'll do this history check. Ooh, that's a 21. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Turbine.
You've been up in the library learning all kinds of stupid shit your entire life. Yeah. I mean, that combined with, you know, the day's journey on the boat, like, it's not rocket science for you. Yeah, you can guide the boat forward a little bit. So you start the process of moving the boat out of this last and final lock. Cool. Should I roll something for that, or is it just, like, I'm just... Yes, roll one last history check to see how well this works. Cool. Cool.
Big money, big money, big money. Big cash money. 17. Okay, yeah. Turbine, you're able to, you can't see over the wheel or even almost under the wheel. You see Turbine spinning around like you got caught in that. I'm picturing a tiny version of the Tin Man. It's like the top of the head reaches the bottom of the wheel. It's like arms straight up in the air. It's like, I hope this is right.
It's like one of those training things at a climbing gym. Yeah. Like hanging off the ground. But yeah, Turbine, you're able to get this thing going out of the port or this last lock as you guys pass the
through this area, the gate is above you. You're starting to go out of it. You see these drowned blades reaching up at you ineffectually, like unable to do anything. But as you are looking in the reflection of the water below you, you notice something above you. You haven't been able to see him for a minute. The lockkeeper is approaching the gate above you. He's not quite there yet. Basically, he's spending the end of his turn getting to that spot.
Just like above the archway of the door that we need to pass under. Of the final door. He's above the archway. Freak. What a creep. True freak. Now, the Drowned Blades go this turn. They're unable to do anything. You're basically done dealing with those. Yes. Fuck yes, dude. What a relief. They can't fucking swim. They didn't spend their turn absolutely hacking Yareth to pieces. So that is the end of the Drowned Blades turn. Grib.
It is your turn. I'm going to say that you can make an insight check now if you want. Great, I would love to do that. 17. You saw the slash on Nance's back from the Lock Keeper. It is a serious wound across her back from just one hit of this guy. Your back looks almost frostbitten from this blade. Oh, no, no.
He's standing up there. You can tell he is, you just feel the presence of this being. He's much more powerful than anything else that has been on the boat. On a 17, with the shape that you guys are in right now, if this thing decides to jump down on you guys, I don't want to say you will, it'll be the, you'll all die, but certainly several people will die.
I want to make this very, very clear that if this thing gets on the boat, you might all die. All right. Okay, understood. So Grib, it is your turn. At the end of his turn, when he lands here, he will take another turn to eventually jump at you. Basically, y'all have a little over a round to do whatever you can to slow this guy down in whatever way possible to stop him from getting on your boat.
How far away is he currently from me? How many yards? He is 90 feet above. 90 feet above me. Okay. So he is pretty much out of range for me to be able to do anything. Actually, no. I take that back. Does haste allow me to cast multiple spells? You get an extra action. I get an extra action.
Yeah. So you're still in your ape form, correct? Totally. That's blown. That's about to be blown. What about your little buddy? Your little mushroom buddy. Is he around? He's not. He's not around, but I have a plan. Okay. I have a plan. Okay. Grib looks at Nance, and he's eternally grateful. He feels like he can't really do much right now as the ape, so he zoops out, and he regains his Grib form. He points to get...
My spell save is a 15.
Cool. 15. Great. Is that on his turn or immediately? Immediately, I believe. Oh, okay. So Grib, you see Grib raise the Yareth's staff of bird calls, and this druidic magic comes from this Waxodon creature as he reaches out. You see the masonry around this gate, you know, filled in the cracks with...
moss and algae and other like kind of wet plant growth that grows on just rock uh burst with life as they unnaturally just turn into vines and reach up and grasp at the lock keeper and he's gonna make a save right now let's see what he does oh man oh boy
It's what? What is it? A spell save of 15. Okay. I saved DC. And it's what kind of save again? Strength check. Okay. He's pretty weak, right, though, because he hasn't been at the gym in a while. Everything's closed down because of the pandemic. You see these vines wrapping around this powerful drowned being. He struggles against them, and it feels like he's about to burst out of them, but they lock him.
you're all to 10. Uh, and he struggles screaming, uh, in this unnatural, like guttural way. So, so fucking upset. He's so weird. Uh, his jaw is like unhinging with his screams. It's, it is a disgusting and horrifying sight. what a relief. Uh,
Grib was able to lock him down to his position. Lock him down like a loxodon. Amazing turn. And then I still have my haste. I still have my haste, so I do technically get another action. And I will use that action to summon Zwam, because I believe it's different. It's not a spell. It's an action. It's not a spell. Oh, thank God. So I will do that to summon Zwam.
- Swam. - Hell yeah. - Swam. - A little burst of flame appears next to Gryff. - We all get so high. - And Swam, the little mushroom guy, sits there.
Hey, what did I miss? Oh, Swam, I forgot that was your voice. Quite a bit, my friend. I should have called on you quite sooner. Should have called on you much sooner. Who's that guy? Fuck him. Fuck that guy. I don't think he gets an attack when he comes out. There's really no point. Wait, there was something with him though, right? Because when he appears, he does fire damage or something? Yeah, but he can't appear close enough to him. He only has 30 foot.
Oh, gotcha. Yeah, I believe it's only 30 feet that he can zoop around. Cool. Yeah. Does he get an action when he comes out? If he doesn't say on your thing, I don't know. Let me read. I'll read. Let's just assume. I'm actually going to just end my turn. I don't feel like reading. I'm actually just going to end my turn.
Yeah, reading's not for me, man. Yeah, Zawam appears, sees the drowned lockkeeper screaming at him, just screams back at him. They're just screaming at each other, this water and fire being scream at each other. Amazing turn from Grib. Nice. After you.
the Drowned Master goes, he was supposed to get, I mean, like, he was supposed to spend the rest of his turn, like, this was the end of his turn, him getting there. And so he would have, like, prepped to jump this turn. So he's going to try and get out of this spot. So he gets to entangle-wise, he gets to make another check, I believe. Is that right? Yeah, I think it's just he's gonna, he can make once per turn, he can make a, he can try and break the save again.
Again, 15 strength. Let's see what he does. Is this guy using legendary actions? No, it's just his turn. It's not necessarily legendary. He struggles against it, and he pulls at it, and he rips the vines out of your hole. Dang. He is out of the grapple, but he is still on difficult terrain.
So because he was spending the rest of his turn getting to that point, I'm going to say he is prepping to jump this whole round. So he is like lining it up. Next turn, he will be able to jump on your boat. He's doing that thing where he's sort of like, he's kind of like gazing at distance. He's sort of rocking his arms a little bit. I think like just before you jump off like a diving board or something. I think I was confused because it felt like he already did this. Now I get it. He was already doing that.
Yeah, that was kind of my bad. I was just explaining that he was going to do that in the future. So now we have a round. But the way it kind of lined up was just unfortunate because now he had the turn to get out of the grapple. So, yeah, that sucks. Yeah.
Yeah, all the other Drowned Archers are like, do it! I'm going to! I'm going to, dudes! Come on! Just give me a second. So after the Drowned Master, it's the crew members' turn. Basically, they're going to look at Grib and be like, what do we do? Todd is like, should we... What's up, guys? Anyone? We could try to get...
I don't know if this is too fuckery, but if we try to pull some big nets, I have archery ability.
And I could try to, like, hang, like, essentially get two attacks so I could hang each half of this net and at least try to get something that would, like, capture him. Do we have a sense, is he, like, coming for us because we, like, you know, he's just a fucking weird dude and we pissed him off? Or is he after, like, the contraband? That's a great cue. Yeah.
You don't know. We don't know. Okay. He didn't say anything when we first met him that was like, I want... When you first met him, he said, none shall enter and none shall leave. Okay. Yeah. That sounds... Yeah. Okay. Great. Cool. Um,
And then do we, is there anything, is there anything we can do to like, try to like really speed the boat up and just like fuck up his timing and try to like, can we like, is there like, um, are there like oars that we can like all like we can all start rowing or is there anything that we can do? Yeah. Make a perception check to see if there's anything around. It's not my turn. I'm just, I'm just asking. I don't know if that's, well, I mean the, the, the crew is there. Uh, they're, they're wondering what to do. Yeah. So,
So if anyone wants to give them an instruction... I feel like Floret is probably what we're looking at. It's like, we got to just get through this duck as fast as possible. Okay. Step on the gas, old chap. Yeah, Todd, Xander, Bexy, and Lexi, they're all like, nod. They start doing their crew member work of...
of like, you know, raising the sails, you know, just getting everything ready to like just be in open water. And I will say that this will lower the DC a little bit or raise the DC rather to make it a little harder for him to jump on the boat. Oh, cool. So that's their turn. After that,
We're back up to the top. Mop doesn't have a ton to do. He's just trying to play defense on the back of the boat. Can I suggest to Mop that he take some of the booze and make a Molotov cocktail and chuck it at the guy? Yeah.
He can try. He'll make, like, he can spend his turn trying to do that. I don't think he can make a Molotov cocktail and throw it in one turn. This guy's never made a Molotov cocktail. He'll try. No, no, that's fine. I just, I didn't, I'm just looking for, like, if he's just going to be, like, standing around. It's like, well, try that. But if he's going to be actually doing something, don't do it. I mean, he can ready an action to, like,
do something in the worst case scenario. I like that. As many people readying in action. So Mops just like, all right, guys, I'm just going to just be ready to like, you know, to like show them what's what. Cool. So Mops at the edge of the boat watching this figure that has just burst out of these vines. After that,
is Yareth. I'm going to see if Yareth has any spells that he can use for the purposes of this. He might have something he can do. So it's very good that Yareth is back on the boat at this point because he is a little flexible, a little more flexible than the other characters in terms of what he is able to do. He's actually so flexible. He's really into dance.
So Yurth puts both legs behind his head. And he casts... Black Fever's like, what are you doing? He is... Sucking his own dick. He's very flexible. Perfectly cuttable. You know what? He only has first level spells left. And so...
He's going to use his last first level spell to cast Fog Cloud. Oh, awesome. Oh, that's so cool. And he's going to cast it on the Lock Keeper. Yes. And so he's just going to take away his Field of Vision. Incredible. And he doesn't make a save or anything. There's just a cloud of fog covering that spot. So he has difficult terrain and he can't see. Yeah. And he's trying to time...
How to land on our boat. Great. Incredible. We love this. We have moved faster now. Okay, after Yareth Nance, it's your turn. Okay, baby, you know what I'm up to. I'm finding a net. I'm taking out a bow. My range is only 60, and as we all know, he is 90 away. So what I'm going to try to do is shoot an arrow to a piece of wood.
either like in the frame or something like that, like up in these walls and see if I can land two arrows, which would hang kind of a netting that I don't think would prevent him from falling on the boat, but at least like tangle him a little bit. If he did somehow make it onto the boat or make it easier for us to like shove him off without getting pulled into the water with him.
So you are trying to throw a net up and shoot two arrows at the net so that it pins. No, no, no, no. I'm tying a rope to the arrows that I'm shooting. Oh, okay. I thought you were trying to do like a Legolas. Way too Legolas, dude. I haven't seen you shoot an arrow yet. So I throw a shot in the air and I shoot. Okay.
A full deck of cards. I shoot all the aces. So you're just, like, basically making a defense on the back of the boat to, like... You're just trying to create, like, a wall between you and... Yeah, above us would be ideal. So just kind of, like, shooting, and then there's, like, this, like, kind of netting up. It's absolutely not perfect...
but it is tangly. Okay. Well, make a sleight of hand check. Make two sleight of hand checks. All right. All right. First one. Oh, shit. That's a seven. Second one. So, 19. Okay. So, 19. So, Nance is able to get one side up and the other side, like, your arrow just, like, won't stick into the wood, so the net keeps kind of falling on your head, and it's really frustrating and obnoxious to you. Classic. Uh...
Fantastic. Mob's like, Nets, do you need some help? I'm fine. Dang.
You're so frustrated. I run with my movement after that. Yeah, I am extremely frustrated. There's just some sort of saggy net on the ship now. I run up to be at least next to Turbine. So I'm like at the wheel and there's just like more bodies there. Great. Yeah. So you go up to kind of help Turbine. After that, Grib, you have one final turn before the Lock Keeper comes after you. I'm going to just try...
Not to be too redundant, but I'll just try and untangle him again. Oh, yeah. Go for it. I mean, I have a question, though. If that control plants could untangle, could they also retangle? And then this would be a thing you wouldn't even have to roll for. I don't have to roll. It's just a DC save. Oh, gotcha. Oh, cool, cool. Then never mind. He would have to roll for it. That's what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. Let's see. I think...
Probably less... Trying to think about how that would work. Fuckery. Yeah, I mean... I'm sorry. No, no, no. It's fun to think about. If you want to make just a raw wisdom check, there's nothing in the spell that says that it can cast Entangle at a higher level or whatever. So, yeah. I think...
Okay, this is a very specific situation where it's already a spot that has been entangled and he has gotten out of it. You have this spell slot that is a higher level spell and it can untangle things.
So I'm going to say if you make a DC 20, not Nat 20, but DC 20 wisdom check or nature check, whichever you want to do, you can use the spell like this. And I'll say that the DC is a little harder for him. If we're willing to try this different method, I'll go ahead and roll for it and we'll see what I can do. Oh, baby boy. I rolled a 19. Okay.
19. Yeah. And that's so then we'll add. I mean, yeah, plus four. So.
23. Oh, great. So 19 plus 4. Great. So that's a 23. Great. We can use this spell like this. What is the current DC for Entangle? Entangle current DC is 15 at level 1. I'll say that because you're using a third level spell, your highest level spell, and because of all the conditions I mentioned before, let's just make it a 17. All right? So DC 17. That makes sense. It just goes up with each spell slot.
Great, so we're going to roll for the Locksoper. Son of a bitch, you son of a bitch. He is shrouded by fog at this point. You can't see him at all. And he's so fucking weird. He's so weird. Oh, and when I speak to this plant, I'm speaking in Luxadon. You all hear Grib whispering in a language you've never heard or understand. Grib, I wonder if at this point you...
realize what you're speaking. No, I don't. Because you've never spoken Loxodon before to anyone else. To me, it's... I think to Grib, it feels like the language of the plants.
Great. Wow. So you hear this sort of whispery new language coming out of Gribb, and you can't quite see what's happening because it's shrouded in fog. You hear the lockkeeper struggling louder and louder against something. He's screaming as the boat is pulling away. You are able to get further and further out, and then eventually you look back. The boat is floating slowly underneath Gribb,
where the lockkeeper was. It's getting a little further, a little further, a little further. He's still screaming. And then you're... Nance, it was all thanks to your net. Fuck you, Turbine. I wrap Turbine in the net, we leave him there. No, no. I'm like tied to the wheel, just spinning around. Well...
Well, that was some pants wraps, wasn't it? Wow, Grub. Everyone just plops down on the ground. The crew just lays there. I take a swig of Mop's Molotov cocktail.
You pull out a dusty rag from a bottle of booze and start drinking. You have escaped the canal locks between the lakes. Barely, though. Holy shit. Yeah. He rolled a nine on the die. What was he aiming for? And then I gave him another round just to see if he would jump off and be too far out of range, and he didn't even get out again. Yeah.
We hear a splash. Yeah, we just hear... So you guys are all out of the lock and you are safely on the Sapphire Lake, the one that is to the west of the lake you were just on. And, you know, you're all... It feels like you just went through, you know,
ran a marathon or something. You're all beaten and you're catching your breath on the deck. What's the surface of a boat called? The deck. Jesus Christ. The deck of the boat. Wow. Funny to forget that word on the last episode of Ark where you've been on a boat the entire time. You're there on the boat floor and you're looking at all the... On the floor of the... The sideways boat front floor. The big boat blankets are blowing out. The boat blankets!
a boat porch so yeah you're you're all able to catch your breath for the first time in a while uh and then you are all able to slowly notice your surroundings more this lake is very different from the one you were just in which was more of a almost basically like a sea or an ocean vibe where that was very salty water this is a freshwater lake you're looking out and it almost looks like
If you've ever seen Sound of Music in Austria, just incredibly pristine waters with a mountain range in the back. It's very Austrian or Switzerland-y. Alpine. Alpine, like a snowmelt lake. A snowmelt.
Yeah, so, I mean, basically you're all just struck by the, like, juxtaposition of the peace in the area you are in versus how horrible and chaotic the last, I don't know, two days have been.
um you're able to take like a short rest uh you feel safe enough and far away enough from everything to relax a little bit so everyone can take a short rest uh or use whatever healing spells they need yeah i go down immediately and hold cream hold cream in my hands hold some cream in my hands uh yeah nance uh holds cream uh cream's aura and uh
Aura is for a long-haired dachshund just shedding hair all over you. They're actually hypoallergenic, Zach. They don't shed. It's so crazy. They're the perfect dog if you have allergies. Okay. I whisper to Cream, no thanks to you. We got through that. Cream just kind of rubs their nose like a TV dog. You notice that Bexy and Lexi are like,
crying in each other's arms like i'm so sorry i was such a bitch to you and lexi's like yeah i just i never really understood it i it's like shut up so like it feels a bit of like a one-sided beef wait so lexi is so cool is what you're telling us lexi is so normal and cool
Yeah. Lexi was just like, I, you were being really weird to me for a while there. And Bexie's like, well, we can't, we honestly shouldn't get into it again. So let's just let it go. Xander tries to hug them and they, uh, turn away from him and he just goes somewhere else. Uh,
I go up to Yareth and I say, I think I speak for everyone here. We all saw what you did back there while practically sacrificing yourself. I think I speak for everyone when I say thanks. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you. What? Thank you. Yeah. All of the crew members turn around. Not at Yareth.
and quietly whisper thank you thank you thanks yeah it just looks around and sees this chorus and a little bit of it he turns away as he wipes a tear from his eye uh clearly very touched by this he's like it's i'm just doing what any good captain would do and if you weather the storm you
You get to see the rainbow. And he looks out at the beautiful, uh, sapphire lakes. Incredible. Uh, I'd like to go up to Grib and see if he wants to hold cream. It's a, you know, a lot of people ask me to come by for different, like, hospital visits or therapy. Like, holding a dog can be, like, very, uh, grounding and comforting. He's so tiny, I'm afraid I'd break him. Oh, no. I'd swish him in half. Swish him in half.
Just hold him in your big hand. Grib is still pretty shell-shocked from this whole thing. He certainly hasn't been able to process a wink of this. And me, never. I think I say, like, wow, that's, um... I just didn't know that you could speak tongues. I didn't know that you were religious. Oh, that's just how I've always talked to plants. It just comes from within. Oh. I didn't know that it was a language of the gods. Am I speaking angel? No.
What did you call me? Are you coming on to me? Are you my angel? You turned into one of those men that ends every sentence in angel. I think, yeah, I push on that a little bit more. Like, so how did you learn? What's going on? Did someone... So you're not a youth pastor? No.
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Celestial is a different language. This was the language, I believe, of your people. It's been inside me the whole time. He nods. Mott walks up, nodding, smiling like he was just awkwardly trying to enter the conversation circle but didn't have anything to say. And everyone make a perception check. 17. 19. 21. Ooh.
Everyone would know this with those checks. Mop awkwardly kind of comes up to try to join the conversation circle. And you hear the little like beep, beep. And it feels like it's getting slightly quicker. Turbine. This might seem interesting to you. Is this the like homing beacon or like are we homing in on something? You would guess yes, that this has to do with that.
Can I rotate Mop and see if he beeps at different rates depending on which way he's facing? Yeah, you start spinning Mop around without asking him. And he's like, whoa, okay. And it does feel like certain directions correspond to the level of beeps. And so... Wait, is this boy a robot or is he just a man who beeps? Yeah.
Everyone looks at Grib. Bexy comes up and is like, he is clearly a robot. He's Warforged. Sorry, Grib. They say elephants never forget. Honestly, I am struck that this is the first time you've used that line. Hey, gotta save it for the finale. So yeah, Mop is beeping
and faster when it seems like a little kind of the direction that you're already going, but a little to the south of that is the direction of the beeps. Okay. Does it look like it's like a huge, if it's not going to be, if it looks like it's like pretty close that I, you know, I'm,
I'll try to get my bearings, make some notes to myself for when we dock. It looks like where we're going to dock and it's going to be really far away. Then I'll ask Yareth if we can make a little detour. Yareth, you come up to Yareth and ask him about your beeping robot friend. My friend's beeping a lot. And I just want to see where the beeps lead. So I think we should move this whole boat to where the beeps lead.
He, like, consults the clouds and stuff because he is, you know, this Tempest domain cleric. You don't understand. This is obelisk related, okay? So we really, we got to move the whole boat towards where those beeps are. I see. I am not 100% sure what you're talking about, but I will look. He considers it for a second. Yeah, he's like, he's like, it doesn't seem that much. It's a detour, but not like, you know, giving someone a ride home on the way to your house. Totally. It's not that bad.
Was that pointed at me, Zach? Was that pointed at me? Beardsley, I haven't given you a ride. The amount of rides you gave me when I first started at College Humor were astronomical. Not on the way to your home at all. Okay, sorry. Go on. Listen, I honestly wasn't thinking about that, so maybe that's on you. No, sorry. Yeah, that was a total projection. You guys handled that well. So...
Well, well. God damn it. Okay. So anyways, yeah, the beeps get louder and louder, and you approach an area that's closer to the shore. It's not quite on the shore, but, like, you're getting to the shallower waters, kind of. Like, you could dock within a couple minutes. Like, that's how shallow the water is. It's, like, maybe 15 feet deep. But from here, everyone make a perception check. What do I... What do my elf eyes see? My no eyes. Hmm. Ha ha ha.
15, unfortunately. 15's good enough. Like, Nance...
You're able to... Mop's beeping kind of loud at this point, even if y'all don't fully understand what Turbine's task is here. You know, you're his mom's friend. You care about this, too. I'm really excited about it. It's like when you're... When you talk with a preteen who's super pumped about some TV show you've never seen before. I feel like it's like that with me and Nance. I'm just like, this is so cool. I'm going to learn what's going on with the obelisks. It's called Attack on Titan.
Good, good. I'm giving Nance way too many details about the obelisk and just like what the beeping could mean. I'm speculating wildly and just a mile a minute. Nance, you're nodding vigorously as you climb the mast and you're able to look down into this clear water below you and you see a lot of debris in the water and specifically on the bottom of the water, like in the sand below. Oh.
And it almost looks like when you see maybe a shipwreck in a weird dock or a, you know, like probably more like instead of a ship because it doesn't look like wood, it looks almost like rusted pieces scattered along the coast.
Like, you know how like when a ship, when there's a shipwreck, it's never like in just the exact same spot. It kind of spreads out. So that's all you see from the mass. And everyone, if people go up the mass, you can make an insight check about. Yeah, I think I relay that to Turbine. Holy crap. How rusted is it? I rolled a dirty 20.
for my insight check. But like, is it like a relatively, it's not like a new boat that has been crashed. It's like an old boat that's been weathered. Turbine, what did you get? You can use your charisma score for that if that's better. My insight's actually pretty high. So no, no, no. It's fine as is. 12 is what I got. Okay. You guys get up the top of the mast and look out at this sort of shipwreck-esque looking ship.
from above. The difference that you would notice on a Dirty 20 Grib, you don't really... It's not really what you're interested in, but from up here, you can tell that whatever this was was much larger than a ship. It just seems like it keeps going for a very, very long distance. And you've heard...
this little kid talk about this kind of endlessly you think that this could be an obelisk the pieces of an obelisk but you can't destroy an obelisk you can't that's just you can't you can't do that theoretically say you could what would it take i don't know like a bigger obelisk you're talking crazy grip
Is this something... Can I ask Turbine? Say that the obelisk was shattered. Should we be gathering these pieces, or is it long gone? You're talking about an obelisk being shattered like it's... Oh, what if a mountain exploded? Oh, what if... That happens. It's called a volcano. Oh.
Well, it's called an eruption. Volcano is what erupts, but we shouldn't get all nitty gritty. That's not fun. We're losing track of the main point here. It's impossible. You can't destroy an obelisk. Bexie calls to Grim like, that's semantics. Thanks. I shouted thanks. T-H-I-N-K-S. I feel like Turbine would be just utterly like...
uh, you know, like he's looking at something both like shattering and impossible that like, you know, Turbine loved the obelisk in part because it seemed like this, this, you know, thing full of mysteries and power. And if it can be, if one can be just like destroyed like this, I think he's like a little, a little like shell shocked. Yeah. So Turbine, yeah. Mop is there with you and he notices this and he's like, I just, I didn't know that there were multiple obelisks.
opalus yeah it's crazy um but he's still beeping he's still beeping more and more whoa and yeah make all three of you can make a perception check from up here again perception seven you know what fuck it i'm gonna use a luck point and i'm gonna roll that i rolled a 24 17 that's a little bit more like it
Okay. Yeah, with the 17 and 24, you see that there is a patch of the sand below you that is kind of glowing. I grab Mop and the two of us kind of like splash into the water. I sort of like...
use Mop like a metal detector. Just sort of like hoist, even though he's so much bigger than me, just hoist him on my back and using his arm like one of those long rods and get down to that glowing part of the sand, see if he's beeping faster as he gets to the glower. Mop's legitimately transforms into a metal detector in your arm.
arms, beeping, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and like out loud he's going beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, over this like glowing part of the sand and Turbine digs into the sand as pictured by Trap digging on the Zoom screen and hits something hard, smooth, and it doesn't seem rusted in the same way as everything else. And from here,
You guys are able to take a little bit of time to dig this thing out. It's a big, rectangular, smooth metal box that is not rusted at all. Underwater, it seems like it's making a little bit of a humming noise. It's about the size of one of those...
top-loading freezers that people have in their garage sometimes. I'm not listening to anything or anyone else. This is like, this is 10 Christmases. This is, you know, like, this is the most incredible. I just got that thing in the mail that I ordered that I'm waiting for, but I also didn't order it. I didn't even know this was here. Just like frantic, just like dragging this big thing up out of the water onto the beach and trying to open it.
Amazing. Yeah, you're able to like, you guys are still kind of far away from the beach. And it seems heavy enough that like maybe using some sort of rope pulley or something to get it on the boat will work. Okay, I'm fully in the water, but I'm really struggling with this thing right now. So I call down to Nansen Grimm to like, someone help me. Someone help me with this thing. I hop down. It's okay.
No, help me. You have to help me with this. You have to help me get this over. I can bring the water. So we can, you guys, I'll just say you'd take some time and get it on the boat. There's roles necessary. You just take a little bit of your day doing this and finally get this strange box onto the boat. It's clear that the,
the materials are the same, but one was like exposed to the elements, right? I would say that you don't know. You would not know for sure. Turbine might know, but because this is extremely foreign to you, but, but this, there is something related between the two. Yeah.
And Turbine, give me like one more perception or I'll say that you can use an insight, a perception, or even your charisma score for this because it is like it's related to like clockwork kind of stuff to like inspect it. An investigation probably too. I rolled an insight. I've got a pretty good modifier on that, but I only got an eight. So that's all I got there.
I'll say that you can do that with advantage just because it relates to the obelisk. All right, I'll try that one more time. Let's see if that's any better. That's a nat 20. Oh, yes. That's a little bit better. Turbine, on a nat 20, you're looking at this. On a nat 20, still don't know exactly what it is because it seems like it is multiple things. Like a spork. It looks like... It's like...
You see that it is an extremely flush metal box without...
much going on but you also see like where it seems like it was connected to something and that connection was severed like there's like a bit of like a cordage situation that has been severed i'm relaying all of this to to nance and grib like like an unboxing video where it's like i'm putting out every detail it's like and you see here oh like this is actually really nice packaging that's so nice you can see like the attention to detail that they put into all this obelisk stuff because it's like it's not just like the product it's the things that you put the product
in that is also designed. You can see there's a connection here, but the connection, I don't know what this is about. Bexie's looking at you, Nance, like, should I rescue you? No.
But I mean, on a Nat 20, you would also just, I'll tell you about everything that you would know from that. It looks extremely flush, but on closer examination, like you see these very, very fine lines that separate it into different chunks. Like it almost feels like a McDonald's toy slash Swiss army knife kind of thing where it's like, yeah, this thing will transform into something else or, you know, there are multiple uses of it.
And from your nat 20, I'll say like immediately you think this is related to like some kind of power conversion. And also, although it has multiple functions, you know, at the very least it is some kind of power converter, some kind of generator, and that it also has some kind of like
anti-rust protection. Like, it's one of those electronic things that are supposedly to keep things from rusting. Whoa. You know that this is exactly what you were looking for. Do I think that this will, like, get the obelisk moving and get it from...
from like my obelisk, I guess the unexploded one. It's hard to tell even with an at 20, not having it hooked up to your obelisk or whatever, but you think at the very least it will, it'll keep it from, you know, it's like been tarnishing and slowly resting. Like it'll stop that. Cool. Um, that sort of depends on the other, like,
you know even if your engine was working and your tires were fucked up that could be the situation here for a metaphor you know yeah yeah this isn't like the black box like the airplane equivalent kind of it's similar to that for sure like it's but you for whatever reason didn't see one in your ship like it may have also gotten dislodged uh earlier and remember like
that they were drawing power and using the opal of of biramir from your first arc like as a power source yeah that could have been because they were lacking this got it got it um cool and like on a nat 20 like
Although you can't figure out all of that stuff for sure, there are things that you... You think you could toy with it right now? Oh, yeah. You can't stop. It's like, you know... I was about to say, I was about to compare to something. I was like, I don't know if anyone else had this experience other than me. When I was a kid, if we like...
if we like went some, went to the mall or something and I bought a video game, I would like, like the ride home, I would be like reading the instruction manual. Oh, for sure. Knowing full well that like, it's like, I can't play this game. It's like, it's fine. I'm going to read the manual back to front. I'm going to know everything about this game. By the time I get home, it's going to be perfect. I'm going to plug it in. I'm going to be an expert already. That's all Turbine doing. It's just like, like anything you can do, like poking stuff, repoking stuff, moving stuff around, toying with it in any possible way. Everyone's looking at you like, oh,
Yeah, can I give him the help action in the way that only your mom's best friend could? Yeah, I'll cast Guidance on you.
yeah uh turbine you can make like uh in a fatherly way yeah like not a sleight of hand check a yeah just make another charisma check if you sure just uh straight charisma yes or whatever you would use to like mess with technology i think that's what we've established is like cool that's a 17 cool turbine you even though it looks so flush or able to find a button you press it
And the sides, like, fold down. I again scream at a pitch so high that only Cream can hear it. The sides, yeah, Cream is freaking the fuck out. Cream, Yareth, and Grib are all holding their ears. But the sides, like,
unravel and roll down uh almost like this like kind of interlocking armadillo-y kind of like vibes and then from the center a pole rises up with a circular almost like tesla coil looking end on it and you see a blast of light shoot into the air a blast of yellow light shoot into the air
charge like almost like a firework in the center of the sky and shoot off in different directions everyone make a perception that's probably good right fuck that's probably a good thing that happened oh bad so 5 18 18 for me oh very cool grip and i were looking in the same direction yeah looking at the floor
So on an 18, you have a pretty good understanding of what this thing is. You saw it shoot into the air. The yellow light spread again and went into different directions. Three went out generally over...
the distance of the direction you're going, you can't see it perfectly well because the mountains are in the way, but you know that that went towards the forest and one went back the direction you came from. Seems like, uh, seems like it may be, maybe he's communicating with other obelisks. Maybe. Well, uh, yeah, maybe, maybe. Whoa. Um, interesting.
But yeah, you have secured what you've come for. Yeah, I think that's all you're able to really do with it right now. I'm standing next to Nance, right? Sure. We're each holding one half of cream. Yeah. This is all too much for one day. I hear you. Cream is struggling. It is really uncomfortable to be held by two different people with one hand. I crack a double down and I say, Grim, when it rains, it pours.
And I think we're in the middle of a storm. Yareth is like slapping his knees, like laughing at this. This is exactly his type of humor.
This fucking, like, West Wing ass, like, wink, wink. Oh, my God! When it rains, it pours. When it rains, it pours! I think, I mean, we're... What's next? What's next for us? We're pulling into... I think I gotta get my box back to my obelisk.
Yaret says, yes, let's make our way to our final destination. And he starts heading off to where the family that has been the charter guest has been trying to go. So after a little bit, you haven't been traveling for that long, but maybe an hour or two, you pull up onto another port. Kind of similar to Solon Port, but
way smaller over that trip can i just sort of like convene with grib and nance and just sort of be like should we be concerned about that cursed stuff in the hole yeah i don't know what to do about it right your alarm never went off right even during no but it would have it would have worn off at this point it only lasts for so long yeah it was like a day or something yeah jesse dugan senior uh pops up and he's like hey guys um
I'm going to be honest, we really were hiding a lot while all of that shit was going down. We were fully hidden. Yeah, you don't have to. That's not you being honest. That's you saying what you're sure we already witnessed. Interesting. An interesting way to put that to me.
He was like, well, I just thought what y'all did was pretty awesome. And he's like, I wish I was a braver guy. And he's kind of thinking a lot about what has happened over the last legs of this trip. My swole forearm reaches out. It's so strong. And it's bustling as it grasps his shoulder.
And I just go, you are quite the coward. I think I look to everyone and I'm like, should we tell this guy what's in his boxes? He doesn't seem to really know. I tell him, I think, you know, I think you can be braver. I think, you know, you just need to have a little bit more confidence. And you know what? Let me give you a little something.
so you can feel braver and i i give him the chain mail thing that was his to begin with wow that's awesome i think i this looks so familiar um yeah they make a couple it's like a part of a whole line pretty popular i think i used to have one of these they're definitely really nice thank you hey wow you know you're welcome and i just i just hope you do the right thing you know roll to see if he notices
Not at all. I think I dip down and I know I'm risking a curse again, but I grab the sword and I say, you know what? While we're at it, I want you to have this. He doesn't recognize this and he looks at it. From me to you. And he's like, that's all right. And Yareth, he doesn't want to touch it. Yareth looks at you, Nance, and is like, did you touch this?
I'm currently holding it, so yes, I'll be honest. I'll be honest, alright? I'm holding it. I applaud Nance's honesty. Huh. Thank you. I believe this to be... It has a different energy that I believe has tainted your soul a little. What's that? You seem to be cursed. There's so much going on, I didn't even notice. Uh...
But luckily there are ways to remove a curse and he like studies it for a little while. And he... Whoa. He's like, well, there are spells to be cast, but I don't actually know how to do a lot of those spells. But I know, I think I've heard of a similar weapon and I knew tale of how to get rid of a curse of this kind. You...
Barring having any spells, if you sit in direct sunlight for eight hours, it should remove the spell. Oh boy, oh boy.
I give Nance one of those reflective screens. Yeah. To get a real nice tan. Wow, great. Eight hours. Can I tell if the Dugan, he didn't want to touch it? Was that because he knew it was cursed and he's in on it? Okay. This is what y'all know, that he knows that the Vokes family put stuff on the boat. He knows that it's probably not for a good reason. He does not recognize what you're holding.
may have made the assumption that that's not from his stuff. Fuck. So he's probably just making an educated guess about it. Hey, where is this stuff going? Who are you dropping this stuff off to? I'm just... I'm gonna take it...
to where I said I'd take it. Oh, so much info. And at this point, you guys have basically pulled up to the port. There are people there. It's like a little fishing... Not fishing village feels like the wrong word, but I would say five or six kind of larger fishing vessels. Beyond that, there's a little bit of a...
sort of town like vibe with like farmland and stuff. They, they wave the people there are excited to see you and, uh, help you like safely dock and you've hit where you need to go. Grib doesn't really skip a beat and just kind of gets to work and starts unloading boxes, showing off his biceps. And turbine is doing anything he can without leaving. Like, uh,
uh like he pretty much always has a hand on the the obelisk box basically like it is it is something the most precious thing in his life some fishermen come up to help and they're like you want me to take this off no i practically bite them just just gripping it fully like around the whole body wrapped around the box is growling like a rabid animal and then he comes here
people are unloading and stuff. And, uh, Jesse Dugan does talk to you. Nansen is like, look, I know that I've gotten into some stuff that is not great, but I have to see this situation through. So yeah, I've seen some incredibly brave and harrowing stuff on this trip. And I, and I want you all, I want to thank all of you on the, on the seagrass for getting us here as safely as possible. And after seeing all that you've, you've done on this trip, I,
I think I've decided to do what's right and finish this diplomatic journey on my own and send my family back to Songport with you guys. And I'm just going to do this myself. Oh, wow. A single ounce of courage. Well, and he looks at everyone. That was Grib on the loudspeaker. Yeah.
Hey, come on, man. Don't... Not in front of my family like that. Jesse Dugan Jr. and his mom, Claire Dugan, are just like, okay, dad, whatever. We'll see you eventually. He's like, yeah, I'll see you guys when I get back. And he was like, well, I might need a little help on this journey if I could trouble anyone to join. I'd pay you well. I'm in the middle of...
pressing more buttons on the box. I'm barely listening. The thing is, there's a chilly night that I go to every night of the week. I'm trying to get back for the Monday one. It's jalapeno chilly night. It's my favorite one. Grib, you feel something in your pocket. You feel your vest pocket where the envelope sits and the seed resides within. You feel it. I would say that you aren't sure, but pretty sure that
You feel like you felt the seed bounce forward. Grib, did your heart just leap out of your chest like a cartoon? Not exactly, but it might as well have. I look at Yareth. I go, you think you can get back on your own? Yareth looks at you and sees you looking at this distant land you've never been to before and knows that this is something that you need to do and puts a little claw on your shoulder.
You're rippling by some. Thank you. And says, yes, I think we can. I think we should have much smoother sailings on the way back.
We're going back a different way, right? Yes, a very different way. A way that has sort of just like a slide down. It's not, there should honestly be- Seems bad the way we came is what I was thinking. So maybe we should go a different way. Very little energy needs to be spent on our part on the way back. It's going to be pretty nice. It's just a luxurious stroll back. He looks at you and says, I understand that you've never quite felt at home
in Solonport, and I feel as though the clouds tell me things, and I feel like they're telling me that you might find the answers you're looking for within the forest ahead of you. And you can only see little bits and pieces of this forest poking out from behind these mountains in front of you. I look at the forest, I feel my heart, I look back at Yareth, and I go, You're right. I never have felt like I had a home. You were the closest that I ever had to that.
And I just touch him with my trunk, and I say, thank you. And I look for cream, and I give cream a little pet. Loxodoxant. I look at this little tiny gnome, and I go, I'm very surprised I didn't squish you. I'm surprised, too.
Let me give you something, Grib. And I reach into my pocket and I hand Grib the year of magical thinking with my tiny little ass. Spread the good word. I was skeptical too, but I really feel like this made a difference for me on this most recent trip. I feel like a different Turbine than I was when I started. I think it'll help you too. I take the book.
I'm sure this will find me well, and maybe somebody in the future will find them well, too. The title implies it's mostly for people with a tiny little ass, and I know my ass is significantly tiny and littler than yours, but I still think there's lots of good lessons to pull from that. My ass is far from small. It's quite thick, I must say.
A rump, if you will. There's like a lot to grab onto there, I noticed. It's like pretty strong, but also like, you know, it's just like very shapely ass. I'm listening to this and going, oh, all right. Okay, guys. Yeah, I looked at Nance. I'll see you in the garden soon enough. And I walk up to this bumbo idiot who's in so much trouble. I'm sure you'll pay me handsomely and we'll get you where you need to go. Right on, man.
Hey, uh, and he looks at the rest of the crew and he was like, uh, well, I just want to reiterate what a great charter this was. The food was impeccable. The drinks were flowing. The protection from both pirates and drowned zombies almost unparalleled. That said, there were a few times when it felt like the boat rocked more than I would have liked.
So taking that into account. Oh, come on. We rely on those tips. We rely on those tips. He hands a bag of gold to Yareth to divvy up among the rest of you. Oh my God. And so from here on out, Grib and Jesse Dugan Sr. stay on the pier and watch as the seagrass sells back out to sea. With Turbine with us also? Mm-hmm.
Turbine has to take the thing back to the... I gotta get this thing back to my obelisk before it falls apart. Wow, and I gotta get to my chili bowl. You will not believe how much rice I had to put... I had to gather to put that obelisk in rice. And it's just a short-term solution. It's not gonna do it. I gotta get this thing into that obelisk.
I have a feeling this whole obelisk thing is just going to be like just another kid at Christmas. Like he brought out the microscopes. He put his hand all over the microscope. He got some seawater. He's looking at the algae. But we know in two weeks that thing's just going to be put in the garage. It's going to gather dust. It's like the telescope. Just like the volcano experiment. No, it's not like that. This obelisk is life. This is what I do.
Yareth proceeds to divvy up the gold. It's about 20 gold a person. Kind of a subpar charter. I try to make a case for cream to get tipped out as well. Yareth hates this argument. Yareth is like, I don't understand. Is it Gribbs?
No, no, they were there the whole time. I saw Cream carrying a little strawberry to one of the guests. Yeah. Okay. I don't know that that... We never had sort of any sort of fiscal arrangement with your pet specifically. That's interesting that you refer to them as my pet. They're really more of a family member. Yeah, co-pilot for life.
Yeah, dog is my co-pilot. As you argue about this, you look at Bexy, who's staring out at the pier at Grib from a distance as y'all pull away, and she's like, you broke my fucking heart. She's so fragile. Sweetheart. He broke my fucking heart. Oh my. Next time on Party Barge, we'll bex him. Is there anything else the folks on the boat want to do before we shift our focus a little bit?
No, I don't think so. I'm holding Cream. I have her wrapped in kind of a thing that you might use for a human baby child, and she's strapped to my chest. Cream is baby-bjorned to Nance's chest. Legs splayed out. Tail straight down.
The vibes on the ship have never been better. This is a new seagrass crew enriched by the trials of what they went through. Turbine now holding the key to saving the obelisk. I play a tune from the Bard Jimmy Buffett classic. Wow.
The well-known bard is known throughout the land. I remember from before I became a sorcerer from my old barding days, I think I remember a few tunes about sipping on potions on the beach and toes in the sand, things like that. Drifting away in Potion-Rita-ville. Yeah.
Oh my god. Turbine sings fake Jimmy Buffett songs on concertina or whatever. I'm actively losing tips. People are taking tips away from me. As you see the once again see the fabric or sorry the corduroy of the universe and sail off. Grib you watch as the seagrass leaves your view and
take a breath and look back towards your new destination. Jesse Dugan senior is, has like contracted some kind of horse and carriage or, you know, a little wagon to, to take the rest of their supplies on to the rest of their journey. And, uh, he's like, all right, man, um,
let's get going. It looks like a very well-worn path up to where you would now know is Fort Cutler, the destination where his diplomatic. Fort Cutler. How far into town do we need to go? Um, well, the board itself is run by the Cutler family and, uh,
It shouldn't be much further up. They kind of look over, I think, the forest, the Endless Holt itself. I think up around that bend is sort of the gate. So let's get going, I guess. Hey, guy, thanks for the help. I really appreciate you. And how much will you be paying me? You know...
What feels fair to you? I'll say that. Well, you tipped everybody out 20 gold, and I assume this will be quite much more dangerous, so I feel fine saying 50, but then again, this is a fake. It's all fake. LAUGHTER
Glad we're really stepping out this bargain right now. So yeah, 50 gold. All right. Sure. He agrees. And you guys start heading up. Can we get more details on that contract? Is there like an option to extend if, you know, happy with Grib's work or, you know, maybe some sort of royalty structure in play? Some portion of loot if you're looting, you know, these things are important. Mm-hmm.
We can have our lawyers look it over and really figure that stuff out. And he and you and the driver of the little buggy head out to the fort. You wind up this bend. Yeah, it's once again like the mountains of Switzerland. It's just a really tall, beautiful mountains.
And as you kind of come around this bend, you see like a large, massive, wooden, full trees that are like kind of cut at the top to have this like kind of fort look. It's very dense. I mean, it's very much like blocking this little valley to like make a very fortified entrance to this fort. And as you approach, a man in a green cloak who is clearly working there pops his head up over the gate. And he's like, um,
state your business please and at this jesse dugan senior pipes up and he like clears his throat and he's like this elephant man has tainted my luggage uh get him uh he's he's done something wrong he's he's uh he's an agent of chaos and i turn into a crow 15 20 dudes with bows pull their bows i turn into a crow their uh can you turn into a crow
What are your hit points as a crow? I can't. I thought you weren't. I can't. I can't. I thought we had this bird discussion. Yeah, that's right. I haven't rested or anything. Great. I look at him. You dirty bastard. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to see life leave your eyes. Do you understand that? You swine. As all of these archers aim their bows down at you,
We're going to end it. Wow. What's going to happen? Fuck off, dude. This guy sucks, dude. This guy sucks.
The whole next season will be me adding things to the chili, like sour cream, onions. That's crazy. Yeah. First episode is tracking down one onion. Second episode is finding a can of beans. Wow. Of course, it's a jalapeno chili. We know that. So we got to get those jalapenos. Third episode, I get a telegram saying Grib is dead. And then we move on. Oh, that's too bad. You don't go to the funeral? Oh, wow.
Gosh. Well, hey, I mean, that's the end of the second arc. We'll have one more arc bark. But thank you to Turbine Spizzlesink, a.k.a. Mike Trapp, for seeing us through two arcs. Thank you to Nance Ray. Thanks, Nancy Ray.
nancy ray uh for joining us for this arc and you know of course would love to see if there's a mix in the future where uh either of these characters join us again and find more about the obelisk and more about nance's chili um but the next arc will carry on with grib and a few new characters who you will learn more about maybe on the next arc wow oh i can't wait to hear can we go out on cheeseburger in paradise
Yeah, for sure. Can we make it sort of parody-ish? Is there a version? Yeah. I don't know. I've never heard it, so I could just sing it. Yeah, that's how a parody works. That's exactly how a parody works. Yeah, go for it. You got a cheeseburger in paradise. That's not far. That's actually pretty close. Pretty close.
Geez. Wow. I got two cheeseburgers out of paradise. Thanks.
Thank you for listening to arc two of the rotating heroes podcast. I hope that you've enjoyed it. If you have, and you want more rotating heroes in your life, you can listen to the rotating heroes podcast over our Patreon, where you'll get access to episodes months early. That's patreon.com forward slash rotating heroes. You'll also be able to hear the exclusive arc box, which is where this crew talks about what has happened in the last episode.
In this arc we have Jacob Wysocki playing Grib, Mike Trapp playing Turbine Spizzle Zinc, and Ali Beardsley playing Nancy Ray Gann. Your DM was Zakoyama, and this episode was produced and edited by Zakoyama and Jasper William Cartwright. That's me. Bye!