Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.
Let's face it, we were all that kid. So first call your parents to say I'm sorry, and then download the Instacart app to get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes all school year long. Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. Welcome back to the Rotating Heroes podcast. I am Zach Oyama, and I'm here, and I'm joined by my friend...
Jasper William Cartwright. Jasper, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good. You put a lot of emphasis on friend there and that actually like made me feel really special. Thank you. My friend and nothing else. Whoa. Okay. So we don't. No affiliation with this podcast. Sure. Sure. Sure. Feeling less good about the fact that you said friend now. Okay. That's fine. Yeah. I just had to ruin it somehow. I just wanted to ruin it. And you did. And you did. You did a really good job of doing that. So well done. That's always good. That's always good energy to bring. Um,
um we finished the first arc and in the public feed can you believe it it's wild i i love the uh the the sorry i wanted to bring this up because i love the end of arc one the little wrap-ups for uh like just the idea that brenda elizabeth just disappears like off into the sunset like on a horse it's just it was i remember like even now the amount of people they're just like i want to
brenda elizabeth is and part of me as much as i desperately want emily axeford to come back i feel like we can never answer that question like we just it's just always a question mark where is brenda elizabeth who knows there's something fun about the unknown i do have some ideas but but uh they're you know keeping keeping it kind of mysterious has been really fun yeah it's just very fun the idea that she just ran away and no one's ever seen her again
it's extremely exciting well dazzle raz eyes glowed and it you know just sort of it was there's sort of a horse prophecy happening somewhere i imagine yeah uh and of course she had to be there for it obviously it's very important uh man oops all horses is going to be one hell of a an arc
Well, hey, we're starting arc two now with a brand new series of rotators, including, I mean, carrying on from the previous arc, we have Mike Trapp. And then on top of that, we have two newcomers to the Rotating Heroes in the past, Allie Beardsley and...
Jacob Wysocki. Very exciting. And what is different about this episode, we have a session zero coming up. Yeah, this is like us. I wasn't there at the time. I feel like I was there. I feel like I've always been there, just lurking in the background. But
To be clear, you were there for every record silently in the corner. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just... Yeah, it was strange because it was during the pandemic as well and mixing wasn't allowed, but I flew over from England anyway just to be in the corner. Yeah.
And you didn't know me as well, which made it even more awkward. I didn't get it. I didn't know how to... I assume some kind of communication got lost and I just went with it. Sure, yeah. You just rolled with it and I think that's really, really impressive. I think that this Session Zero... I'm excited for us to release this in the public feed because I feel like it adds a lot of context. Specifically for Jacob's character...
I think you would be lost without listening to this. This is essential listening for Arc 2, which is why we're putting it on the public feed. You need to hear this. If you're ever wondering why Jacob is being like that, this is going to be the episode for you. And I am so excited for people to hear what will eventually be the voice reveal in episode one because it's just...
It's a whole journey to behold, so I can't wait for it. I really can't wait. Yeah, exciting. Well, without further ado, take it away, Passac. I'm kind of doing like a horse, like horses. And now presenting a rotating hero. Hello and welcome to ARK 2, episode zero?
of the Rotating Heroes podcast. We're joined by the second ARC's crew. And, you know, the premise of the podcast was you rotate the heroes in and out. So just a whole new slew of heroes every new ARC. But we decided to get this going with a gentle bit of... a gentle slow rote, if you will, with one character from the previous ARC continuing on.
Uh, that character joins me today. You may know him from the previous five campaign episodes, the previous five arc barks where he pretty much gave me a hard time the entire time. Uh, I'm joined today by Michael trap. Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to giving you more of a hard time in these coming episodes and just, you know,
Generally roasting you in these side conversations while you have control over my character in the other conversations. Okay. Okay. Well, you know. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to be here is what I'm saying. Okay. Okay. Great.
So this arc follows Turbine continuing on in this same world. Turbine has, I should also say this, this is a session zero. If you don't know what that is, that means it's an episode where we talk about the upcoming arc and we talk about what our characters will be like
within that world and just sort of kind of throw out ideas, classes, things like that. So you can just kind of get a feel for where we're coming from before we actually jump into the story. We already know Turbine though.
Although Turbine's gone through some big changes. Yes. At the end of the arc, spoilers for that first arc, be weird. Well, you know, maybe you're just huge stans of the other two people joining this arc and haven't heard the first arc. But spoilers for the first arc, at the end of that Turbine,
Turbine was a lore bard who was obsessed with this amazing obelisk that has been sitting over their town for 50 years. Sort of like a Disney stand, if you will, but for this obelisk. Towards the end of this story, he combines with this clockwork amulet that
creates within him the Clockwork Soul and he becomes a new sorcerer. So that's pretty exciting and new stuff for Turbine. And I'm sure you're coming to terms with this arc, right?
Right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I do sort of, I was this sort of thing, like, I'm sure you could hear it in the edit where I was like, I don't, it's like, should my voice change for this? Should I, like, how much of a different character, how much of a different person am I now? Because it feels like, you know, you would emerge from that just a completely different, different person.
Yeah, I mean, at the end of that arc, it's like you had been this whole new class for maybe hours of the whole day and a half that that arc took place over. And so maybe you haven't really delved into who your new version of Turbine is yet. So I think this is a couple of weeks later. I was going to spend a lot of time.
I'm going to spend a lot of this arc just staring into mirrors and gripping the sink and looking out windows at rain falling, just really quietly coming to terms with myself. And you're like a little 13-year-old with horrible facial hair. Yeah.
Yeah, but I might still pull of the leftovers and do a lot of diving into pools and screaming silently underwater and just yelling into a pillow and stuff like that. Just so you really know, it's like, oh, wow, he's really going through some stuff. That's deep shit. Yeah. That's deep shit. Well, at the end of the arc also, Turbine leaves off kind of wanting to help
Figure out what's going on with the obelisk because he never really figured out all that much I mean you figured out how it got there and who was involved with that But as far as fully understanding it you're just starting to do that and it's a longer process and it was also kind of like decaying a little bit in the absence of the The power source that it had like trying to figure out what's going wrong with a computer while it's actively breaking around you It's like this thing keeps crashing. Why is it doing this to that end?
Turbine is... This arc picks up with Turbine following a clue about the obelisk that may help save the obelisk or help understand it a little bit, at least. And he's going further west. In the initial lore dump of this story, you have the forest,
all the way to the east. Then you have the Sapphire lakes and then you have the East Sapphire lakes. Uh, and he's picking up right at the beginning of the East Sapphire lakes in a little town. That's got a bit of a new Orleans vibe with a, um, a family friend whose character is a bit, uh,
we're going to find out a bit about right now. Um, that brings us to the actual, uh, zero part of the episode. Um, but we'll actually, you can just introduce yourself as a human being. Uh, we got our next guest for the arc, Allie Beardsley. Hey, Hey,
Must be the LA. Trav, when you were introduced, there was a really big vroom sound, and it kind of sounded like you had just hopped in your car and been like, yeah, Zach, I'm going to fuck with you this whole season, and sped away. I'm actually riding a motorcycle right now. I'm just going to rev it every time I'm talking so you can edit that out. Hopped on the hog. Traps in Jay Leno's garage for the entire record.
That is crazy that you're so close to Jay Leno, Trav. I mean, we're good friends from way back. I was very much not on Team Coco. I was very upset at what he did to that show and was very proud to put old Jay Leno back where he belongs for like three months or whatever the fuck it was. Allie, we can describe your character in a little bit, but how are you doing? What's going on? Me as a human, I'm good.
This character, baby, get ready. I went in a lot of different directions. Great. Five different classes, one level of each, right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. My name is Super Spreader. No. You ever get a little bit of soda from each nozzle of the Taco Bell? You know how it tastes gross? It always just tastes like orange soda. If you add orange soda to any other soda, it just tastes like orange soda.
Allie, thank you for joining the pod. Thanks for joining this arc. It's a pleasure to have you. It's a big, wild experiment. I'm just glad to have some buds around for it. I'm extremely pleased to be here and to have been asked to be in this absolute chaotic group of people. I'm fucked. You're so fucked.
I just realized how fucked I am. I was like, well, traps are like, yeah, traps. And then when I listened to the first season, I was like, oh, traps? Chaotic. That is a little stinker. Yeah, so you're deeply in trouble. Maybe I'll have to put like a unifying hat on. Like, I'll just be like a chill character. Please. Yeah, if you were the stable character. I'm the voice of reason this arc.
Well, before we get into Ali's character, let's introduce the third guest for the pod. You know, I think what's interesting about this group of people so far is that
If you listen to Dimension 20 or NADPOD or whatever, you know people from that. Or you know people from College Humor, you would know everyone we've described so far pretty well, if you're fans of any of that. And now we have our first little bit of dipping out of that sort of... Just...
what is it, cannibalistic pond to just a little bit of a slight different Venn diagram. We have a good friend of mine, the very funny, who's also actually been in a couple of college humor things as well. The very funny, talented Jacob Wysocki. Wysocki!
Oh, he got the what's up frog. It's me. I'm here. I'm a D-list college humor cast member.
You just have to contextualize it. I didn't mean to say that you were a D-list college humor. Life on the D-list of college humor. Which is like the C-list. Crazy enough, Kathy Griffith is also on that D-list. The college humor one. She's been in a few more sketches than I have, Kathy. Yeah, she's been EP on a lot. In terms of college humor universe, F-list would be...
uh rita wilson uh chloe kardashian
Jacob, thank you for joining. Just how are you doing? What's going on with you? Hey, I'm good. I'm really excited to be here. It's great to have a little more to do in my day-to-day. It's really important for me as a person who lives at home alone to just get as much in my day-to-day as possible. I'm packing it in. I'm enriching my life, and this is adding to it, so thank you. And I also have to say,
I think it's really rare that somebody who's an announcer gets brought up from the little leagues to play in the big leagues. Thank you for reminding me. You also may know Jacob as the voice in the Rotating Heroes pod theme song. He presents the podcast. He is the very herald of this podcast. It is an honor to have been picked up. It's like if Dan Harmon came back.
to SNL. Dan Harmon came back to SNL? Daryl Hammond, sorry. Do you remember how Dan Harmon was doing all the announcements? Like, what are you talking about? Why did we hire this guy to do this? Look, we all bounce back from a cancel in different ways. He just starts doing announcements for SNL. Jacob, um...
You know, everyone who's listening, who's listened to maybe Dimension 20 or NADPOD or whatever, has pretty extensive knowledge of both Trap and Beardsley's experience with D&D. Where do you fall on that spectrum? We've actually... I've played...
One of the two times I DMed before doing this podcast was with you and some of our other friends. Yes. Yes. But outside of that, what's your D&D experience? I'm a fairly new D&D explorer. I would say I started my first campaign like casually three years ago with some friends and we probably played like a six or nine month campaign that was very fun and like
A great introduction, I think, to D&D and then completely stopped playing and then the pandemic started. And now I play D&D with the... If I add this campaign, I now play four days a week. So I'm hooked. I love it. It's completely taken over the space of improv. That's a fucked up amount of time to play D&D a week. It's a lot. It's fucked up.
But like I said, I need enriching things in my life. I need giving structure. I need it.
And it does kind of fill that improv void a little bit for me. It totally is. Like, when you're saying that, it makes me think, like, how many of the improv people I know have sort of just, like, especially during the pandemic, have kind of drifted over to D&D. Because it's like, okay, cool, it's communal storytelling that we can all do. And they can still scratch that itch of, like, we're kind of making something together, but we can do it over Zoom without it feeling a little...
Weirdly, I think Zoom D&D feels less awkward than an improv show Zoom. The translation is a lot more accessible, for sure. I think it's way more easy to have fun and be like, yeah, I'm my guy, and I'm playing around with my friends. Yeah, and D&D, you're already just sitting. Yes. You're not actively improv scene running around. Yeah.
I should say, speaking of improv, me, Jacob, and Beardsley are all on the same improv team at UCB called Yeti, where we would run around and scream and maybe get hit in the head with a chair. We'd have a blast. Very active participating in each other's stories. So yeah, I feel like everyone who does improv is generally pretty good at...
D&D. Little mono scenes. A little pretty flower. Yeah, a little ongoing mono scene. And your soul doesn't fall out of your body if a move you try doesn't work. Yes. You're like, oh, that didn't work. Okay, cool, fine. I was just being my character. I was just being my character. I'm excited to play with a new group of people.
uh because two of my campaigns are like weird mix matches of the same people which is not bad but it's like you know you it's fun to extend and see how other people approach playing the game so i'm excited to get like a new perspective on on like play style and stuff like that so it'll be fun especially most of the people i play with don't i feel like not as much experience as you guys
So it'll be really fun for me. Get ready for a fucking master class, dude. Yeah. I think like, I don't know if there's, I mean, cause Allie, like I've only started playing recently and you hadn't played before dimension 20, right? True. So, but you guys have hours under your belt.
belt. You know what I mean? 10,000 hours to be exact. You have a lot of hours and by such a skilled DM, not knocking any of the DMs I work with, but you got the master class. So I get to leech. It's like if Harry Potter was a teacher. Which brings me to my character. Laughter Laughter
-He's a wizard, but he sucks. He's always assigning homework. -He's got this crazy scar and he's a teacher. -This did make me think, you guys, for Zoom improv. I'm like, "What if it was a continual improv?" -Like multiple mono scenes that are all just continuous. -Yes, and we would revisit. We would pop into different worlds again. I don't know. Anyway. -Are you pitching a--
We're going to do a different show. It's something to think about. Should we stop and do that? I'm using this as a Yeti meeting. Okay, we are. Yeah, sure, we're missing five people from the team, but I'm just signing in here. I'm happy to live it. I'm happy to live it. My attention is...
and just do that. We can just do that. -Yes, let's call in everybody else. Let's get Lou on the horn. -I'll invite them now. We're having a meeting right now. Everyone forgot. -I made such a mistake. I brought chips and spicy lobna into my room as though I was going to eat them during this. No, I'm fucking not. -What is this? -What is lobna? -Oh, it's so good.
What is it? You keep showing it, but I'm not sure that I understand. It's like a yogurt-y kind of thing. It's somewhere between a yogurt and a cheese. Yes. This is a little bit of a dip. Yes, and this has garlic, parsley, and red pepper in it. Nice. Put that with some chips. What's the origin of labneh? Mediterranean, I think. Mediterranean. Long ago, there was a curse put upon- I don't know where I'm going with this.
Origin sounds like it's got a... Harry walked into the classroom with a pepper and some cheese. Harry Potter, but not the dog. Trapp, please don't make a new character suddenly. You would kill me. You would absolutely kill me. Speaking of the Mediterranean, I think of this... Sit away. Sit.
Arc. I'm trying so hard to segue. This arc kind of takes place, or at least starts, in a little bit of a New Orleans-y, Mediterranean kind of crossover area off the coast of these lakes.
And then we'll be... The clue that Turbine's following is on the other side of these lakes. So he has to get there. But I think he will cross paths with the rest of the characters at the start in this sort of more New Orleans-vibe city. Allie, do you mind giving us a little bit of a sneak peek as to where you're coming from? Or what's going on? What can we expect or not expect? Also, I should say,
All of this is not set in stone. Some of this may change, but let's throw out some vibes. Okay. I guess I'll take you on a little journey. I'll take you on my... Enter my thought palace. Should I bring some water? Are we... Yeah, definitely bring some water, some snacks. So when you said we were going to be on a boat, my mind immediately went to cruise ship improviser. And I just wanted to be the most...
unbelievable person who is just like life for cruise ship improviser. And then I thought, okay, is this even fun? So I had to go back to the drawing board because I decided maybe that would be too insufferable. Really, really important question. So I just really had to start over. I scrapped cruise ship improviser. And then I thought, who are some of my favorite people I've ever met? And I remembered...
So my mom, not a lot of people know this because I don't like to share it, but my mom is a dog breeder.
And I know we're in Los Angeles. You've never shared this before, huh? We're in Los Angeles. We're in the fucking land of the rescue dog who rescued who. My mom fucking breeds $2,000 pedigreed wiener dogs. That is true. It does feel like something that is kind of apolitical, but is the kind of thing that if you shared it with almost anyone here, they'd be like, oh my god, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she doesn't deserve the rap, okay? Look, we didn't have a lot of money growing up. She was like, this is a cash stream. I'm a stay-at-home mom. This is what I'm doing. She doesn't do it anymore. So anyway, through growing up, I came into contact with just a lot of older dog breeders. It's a very specific type of woman. I would argue that they are exclusively Monster Energy drink-fueled women. Okay.
And I really want to be a drunken master monk that is fueled only by monster energy dreams. My God. You were not looking for a chaotic campaign, right, Zach? Yeah, right, Zach?
-I'm very obviously Trapp's mom's friend. I want to say I'm one of those-- I'm definitely an older woman, but you cannot tell my sexuality and I will not give you any clues about it. -Okay.
For all you know, I'm interested in no one and everyone. Okay. You're making me think of this English teacher I had in high school who was like... I'm kind of just combining this person from your life, this person from my life now, but was just like...
Just think like high school English teacher who always wore scarves, you know, like that, like, and like, not like a scarf around the neck, but like silk scarves that were just like flowy, like kind of like vaguely new agey kind of stuff. But like, wouldn't talk new agey things was just the sort of like, just this weird vibe of like, you,
you maybe were in a hippie commune where everyone fucked each other's brains out, or you maybe were the most boring person in the world before this and are just putting on this... You just like the flow. You just like the flow, the vibe. I'm certainly so old, but so flexible. I drop something, then from the hip, fold over.
Pick up a little dog treat, you know. Are you breeding dogs, though? You are breeding dogs. I am actively breeding dogs during this campagna, Zach.
No, I just was curious because dog breeder vibe, maybe it's a different type of animal in this world. But yeah, if it's dogs, it's dogs. Unfortunately, it is just dogs. I'm aware that my imagination could have taken us anywhere, but it is pure breed long-haired dachshunds. Oh, gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. They're so cute.
It's just so funny because I grew up in such a Christian household and dog breeding just brings such an insane element where my mom is like, yeah, the bitch is coming over in five minutes and then there's just like fucking dogs all over our house and all these like adults are like looking out the window and watching them fuck and being like, good. It's honestly psychotic. Be fruitful and multiply. I just want to kind of dive right
right into that vein of my upbringing. -I like how you shifted from being a performer on a cruise ship to an attendee on a cruise ship. -Yes, someone who loves cruises. -Have you been on a cruise before? -No, I really, really want to go. It's so disgusting.
it's i i've been on one cruise the first year out of college where it was like had like working like had almost no money but like we were like we had like vacation time that my wife and i like we've got to do something with this vacation but we don't have a lot of money to spend and so we took an off-season cruise to bermuda so which is like the absolute absolute like it's like it's not in the truck because bermuda's not like the same parallel as like north carolina so it's like
It's not actually that warm in the winter. You're not going that far. It's like the middle of February or whatever. D-tier. And just like, it's like room and board's already paid for. Everything's there, you know? Like, you just like, you pay that like, that 200 bucks up front and you're good for three days or whatever the hell it is. And I've never felt like so completely out of my element of just like, what is going on in this place? What is everyone doing? Everyone was just like, everyone like had their own, like there are all these like,
people who like did cruises were like, this is what I do. This was the first year out of college. So it was like 21, 22, somewhere around there. Yeah. Just like everyone had like their hacks of like, here's how you get extra lobster. It's like, I don't need extra lobster. What are you talking about? Yeah.
I'm trying to milk this cruise for all it's worth. People were calling us stupid because we weren't ordering everything off the menu. It's already paid for. You can order whatever you want. You just order everything and you send back the stuff you don't like. Hey, man, you're an idiot, man. You're not being a pig. Why are you being a fucking slob? That's the smallest exaggeration of what...
And you have assigned table mates, so you had to sit with the same, like, the same book. Man, I spent $200, man. I'm trying to eat $600 worth of shrimp. Wow.
Yep. That's, I don't know. I don't think I could do it. I think I would just be like, I'm trapped in a city. Yeah. I don't know what I expected, but it was like, this is not what I expected. And it's very weird. There's like a vibe here that I, and I can't escape because I'm on a boat in the middle of the ocean. The only thing close to a cruise I've ever done, I've done like, um,
I've been on a good bit of boats just because like where I'm from in Alabama, a lot of people have lake houses and you'd go like water skiing and stuff. Like we didn't have one, but it was just like a popular thing for like a majority of the people I grew up with. Been on a lot of boats. I've been on a good bit of boats. Been on a little boat. I've been on a good bit of boats. A big, big of a boat. Good bit of boats. But I've done a lot of tubing and water skiing and stuff, but like always come back that same night.
Nobody can see it, but the way everybody nodded when you said tubing, it's so funny. Everybody was like, yes, I do know tubing, and that would be fun. Yes, tubing. I'm aware. Yes, tubing. Mmm.
And I mean tubing behind a boat where they try to thrash you around and knock you off. Where it's someone's older brother who you're like, what is your life? How are you spending an entire afternoon ruining mine? Tubing is a perfect activity in that it feels like someone's stupid idea that should have ended horribly, but it was like, no, this worked. We're just going to keep doing this forever. There's not a lot of opportunities to go tubing, so when it comes up, it's like,
yeah, let's do that. Let's do this. My God is the most fun thing in the world. I've countless hours being absolutely rocked on a lake by my friend Ed's dad. Just whipping us in circles. You just hit that cross wake that's coming the other way after you've gone in. And just like...
Just like skipping across the water like a stone when you can't hold on to the handles anymore. Yeah, it's like a drunk adult pulling a bunch of idiot teenagers on a lake all day long. And somehow it's like, oh, we all survived. Great. Let's do this again next year. We'd do four tubes. We'd do four tubes. Everyone on their own tube. And you try to battle tube.
So like if I'm swinging in from the outside of the wake into the other side of the wake and they're all over there, I'm kicking that tube as hard as I can to flip my friend. And then his little brother and his friend are on the other side. A kid jumped on my back once and then I hit him in the head. It's like so dangerous, like horrible. Not a lot of advancement in tubing technology over the last two or three decades.
It's popular, but they're, like you said, Trapp, they're just in their lane and they're not trying to get out of it. I will say there have been a couple of advancements. They've changed to aerodynamics. Some of them are really like, you know,
airplane-shaped versus a circular inner tube. Okay, more like triangular. That feels like something in 20 years or something where it's like, oh, the Olympics is going to Mississippi or something. And they always have those weird one-off, like, oh, this is the special sport we're doing just for this year, just in this city. And it would be some hyper-technical tubing event where it's like, yeah, we've got these high-tech tubes and we're going to do weird tubing tricks and
I feel like that would be fun. -At church camp, we had a big banana that everyone would try to ride and it was near impossible to stay up on. That was the thing is it's impossible to ride. -It's like riding a mechanical bull or something. The fun is seeing how long you can hang on for. -I think it was abstinence training, honestly. The symbolism is there. They're like, "Oh, yes? You want to ride the banana? I'm going to kill you."
I'm gonna fucking kill you, freshman. Some youth pastor just like, oh yeah, you know, when you guys gonna focus up and listen to God just slamming you into the water? It's a wake-up call. A lake-up call. I said a lake-up call. Just now when I said, smack it on him, dude.
A wake-up call? Is that what you said? I said a wake-up call. She said a wake-up call. Smack it on up. You heard it here first. Apologies. Apologies.
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He was talking about this kid who won't listen to him. And he's a smart one, which is a bad thing. And he was talking about this. Why does God do this? Why does God do that? And then I just laid him out and punched this kid square in the chest. And I said, whatever the kid's name is, when are you going to come to God? What? And right there, that kid...
his attitude entirely. And it's just like, no, I think he just beat a child. Yeah, just hit a kid. His demeanor totally changed when an adult hit him in the face.
This guy's giving a sermon. He did whatever I said. That's the story. Oh, my God. Everyone's just like, yeah. It is insane. That's like anything I listen to. Sometimes, yeah, whatever. I'm sorry. We're completely off track. But sometimes I do a deep dive into media that I know I will hate, but I just want to know what the other side is up to. So I'll do like a Proud Boys deep dive. And that's completely how they talk. It's just like-
I walked up to my friend and I punched him right in the face and I said, welcome to the Proud Boys. They do like improv warmups while everyone is like beating your ass. Like you have to name breakfast cereals. Yeah, that's true. I've seen some videos of that and it's like the most underwhelming shit I've ever seen. Like the least tough thing I've ever seen. It truly is. It's just like what the fuck is going on? Yeah. Dude, I don't think there's one – this is –
there's no place for this in a D&D podcast but I'm gonna say it I think no Proud Boys would ever throw hands dude I think they're all babies none of them want to toss up dude yeah they're all yeah I feel like that's how the vibe I'm getting as they like continue on it used to be very scary to me and I feel like there were some videos that seemed scary but like I've just seen more and more videos lately where they like I don't know guys these guys don't seem that tough
I feel like there's some like guys who only want to fight that are in the Proud Boys. There's some kind of like weird, like sieging the Capitol motherfuckers who are like also Proud Boys, but I don't think they're Proud Boys first. Yeah, sure. They're Hells Angels first. This is just a rage-filled monster. Yeah. Ugh. Um,
Cool. Well, I mean, Zach called me before we recorded and Zach was like, please don't make it political. Please don't make the podcast. Please, dude. There could be some Proud Boys listening, Jacob. You ever think of that? I need to keep them as my patrons. Not at all. Not at all. Just joshing.
-Beardsley, do you have a name in mind for this? -I think I'm going to be just like a really Southern name, but I certainly don't have that accent. You have no idea where I'm from. Once again, this woman is-- You can't tell where she's going, where she's from. -I'm a mysterious past. -Her name's Nancy. Sure her name's Nancy Ray and her last name is Gan. -Gan? Nancy Ray Gan?
This is my husband, Ronald. He's got big ambitions. Wow. You can call her Nance. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. Might be a veto. Nancy Reagan. How often are you going to hear her last name? Her name's Nancy, right?
Yeah, her last name's Gan. You could be Barb Robush or something like that, maybe, if Nancy Rae Gan doesn't work. Yeah. Melania Tur. Awful. Awful.
Well, moving on, let's just hear a little bit. I mean, we'll circle back in some other ways, but moving on. Didn't even get a segue for that one. We're done. We're done talking about the Republican Party. Moving the fuck on. Hey, man. Moving on from this administration to the next. Ooh, that bit was a tipper snore.
Jacob. Okay, so this is maybe how... It made sense for this character to kind of know Turbine's character, but then it also makes sense for Nancy... Ray again. To maybe know the next character, Jacob's character, who also...
in this town already. Jacob, do you have a little bit of a vibe? You want to give us a little story of your character? I'll give you a little bit of a taste. Okay, I'll start with the name. We'll go name first, if that's okay. Sure. I'd love to introduce the world to Grib. G-R-I-B. Grib. He's a Luxodon.
Oh, awesome. So Luxodon, for those who don't know, is an elephant person, like a humanoid elephant. Yes, sort of an anthropomorphic elephant. He's a big boy. He's like 7'9". He's big. He's a big boy. He's got his tusks. And you may have not seen a lot of Luxodons around here. He certainly has never seen another Luxodon. He's never seen anybody that looks like him. And his whole big thing is he's a normal guy.
He's normal. He's just one of the guys. He lives in the town. He has a job. He works for a boating company. And he's just normal. He's got a job. He's got a dream. He wants a plot. He's a farmer. He wants to just be able to grow his veggies, his sweet, delicious veggies, and eat good. Small town guy with small town dreams. Yeah. Just trying to- Normal fish, normal pond. Keep on keeping on. Just-
Small advancements. Head down. Yeah. Must be difficult to be so unique in a place where there are less people like you. Grib wouldn't have any idea what you're talking about. He would have no idea what you meant by that. He wouldn't understand. So sad. How tall do you guys think Nancy Ray is? I want to say 5'6". Or 6'2". I'm going to go 4'11". 4'11".
-I'm just going to Wikipedia-- Hold on a second. I'm trying to think. -Wikipedia average dog breeder height. -How tall do you think Nancy Ray Gann is? -How tall is Grant?
Would you believe that the Wikipedia entry for Nancy Reagan doesn't have her height? I feel like if I go away from Nancy Reagan, if I actually am imagining this character, I'm imagining someone who's very willowy. She's 6'4". She's 6'4". She's never not in a sun hat.
Must be difficult to be 6'4 and breed dachshunds. You're always bending so far down. She's flexible. She's got a person who's like, just stretch her arms. She's the kind of older woman who will get on the ground to prove that she can do the human pretzel without realizing how unbelievably sexual that pose is. And everyone just kind of is like, oh, yeah, please get back up. This person is gaunt.
-I think you could describe them as gaunt. -Lanky. -Yes. -Six, four. -I like that-- The previous arc, it was me, a gnome, a halfling, and a dwarf. It was a very tiny party. Now, it's going to be a real slim Jim of a lady and a lexadon and little tiny old me. -Little tiny me. -Eat me. -Eat me.
So trap I should say yeah, this is a mostly human area I think that's like we're moving on from the little little people towns until like you know it's like how in in in Lord of the Rings how they leave the Shire and they get to the next city that has like Aragorn and you know larger folk it's definitely that vibe and
It's a little rougher around the edges than the pastoral city of Aberdeen. You guys are going to be maybe 10 times as big as Trapp. I'm going to get stepped on. This sucks. Oh, don't worry. No, I'm very conscious of what's around my feet. Don't worry. That's my whole job. None of this is set in stone.
So we know that Turbine is a family friend with Nancy. Nancy and Grib, you live in the same city. How would you possibly have a connection? I mean, do you have any thought about that at all? Maybe Grib is sort of the groundskeeper. Yes, definitely. For Nancy Rae?
- I'm really good with-- - You gotta keep up the beautiful grounds for the dogs. - I'm amazing with canine life. I am just not very good with plant life. I like to tend to my dogs. - But you'll come out
-You'll come out while Grib is working with a big sweating pitcher of lemonade and a couple of little old mason jars and whatever the equivalent of a McDonald's, plastic McDonald's cup is with the paints chipping off now and offer a nice refreshing-- -I'm thinking Nancy has several roommates.
This is my very good friend. My very, very good friend. This is my very good friend, Monica. And I live here with my three other very good friends. It makes me wonder what happened. What is Turbine's mom's relationship to kids? We were very close.
Huh, okay, but when you say that, like, where, um, when... She would just come over and lend a hand, her and me and all the dogs. We'd go on long walks. Okay, I don't... Hmm, okay. How long did you know each other? What's that, kiddo? How long did you know each other? On and off again for a couple years. You knew each other on and off? Yeah.
Was anything happening to make you off? Would you have maybe sort of like a tumultuous relationship? Yeah, you know, I mean, she just wasn't very communicative about what she wanted, ultimately. I don't like where this relationship is going. I don't like where this conversation is going. You got a light? I'm not going to be doing lights a pipe. What, Zach? Sorry?
Oh, the other thing I'll say is I think mop is coming with turbine. Mop is a human who got, um, who came from this area who left, um,
who left to like kind of visit Aberdeen and then like through the courses of in the spoilers for the first arc uh lost in this competition and the the kind of secret underbelly of what this thing actually was was sort of nefarious and they turned him into a war forged human so that means like he's like a robot man now and he's also a monk so maybe uh I can see some connective tissue with uh him and Nancy like just trying to like you know monk out um
Monk, monk. I was going to make a Tony Shalhoub joke, but I'm out. Damn. Sorry, I'm out. Actually, we all know that Nancy Ray's favorite show is Monk, right? Yeah. Oh, good. She's got the box set. TBS or USA is on 100 hours a week. Absolutely.
I mean, come on, if I wanted to watch a germaphobe, I'd freaking watch, what's that show with all the briefcases? Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. The show with all the briefcases. I'd freaking watch Howie Mandel on fucking Deal or No Deal, you know what I'm saying? Boom, we got there, it was worth it. It's a jungle. By the end of this episode, we're going to land one of these monk jokes. Yeah. Go ahead.
No, I was going to flail at a monk joke. Come on, you got it. And it's good that it didn't go. Come on, you got it. All right. Come on. Go for it, Jacob. Okay, if I was going to watch a... We're talking about monk, right? If I wanted to watch a germaphobe, I'd probably something else about Deal or No Deal.
Well, what's good is I have the power to edit this out. You know what? We'll leave it. I'm talking straight to the editors right now. Please leave that in. That's a segment that I like to call Monk is Bunk. Monk is Bunk. Monk is Bunk. Jacob, yeah, go for it. I've got a huge announcement. Yeah. I've got a massive announcement. Let's hear it.
I'm not going to be talking in character because I'm going to be doing a voice reveal on the first episode. I love it. Oh my God. I love it. So that's my announcement. There will be a voice reveal. I love it. Can we get some voices that didn't make the cut? And again, none of this is set in stone in case Jacob bails. Yeah. Some voices that didn't make it were kind of like, a surfer guy with nothing better to do.
Hell yeah. Okay. The Southern Gentleman did not make the cut. Okay. Sure, sure, sure. And then sort of like just a generic guy who's auditioning for a Skittles commercial. Wow. You're telling me what? I'm Grib, UTA. Here's me tasting the rainbow. Okay.
Taste the rainbow. All right. So Grib, you're going to come in. You're going to eat some of these Skittles and then some Skittles are going to hit you in the head and you're going to look up and go, huh, that's odd. So Grib, whenever you're ready. Well, I can't do it because you're trying to get me to reveal the voice now and I told you there's going to be a- All right. Thank you. Thank you. That's all we need. That's all we need. Great. Sounds good.
Oh, boy. I also am pretty sure I'm going to do a voice. I just have a vibe. I don't have the voice yet, though. The vibe is cagey. Go ahead. Sorry, sorry. The vibe is what? The vibe is what? The vibe is cagey, not Cajun. I thought you said aging. Well, that too, honey.
So yeah, it's crazy that I was just thinking about how you have only ever had Brennan as a DM, right? You've never done any other? I guess you did some critical role thing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a different game, but yeah. Yeah. Get ready for the exact same vibe. I'll be exactly like both of them, endlessly able to describe things like I'm reading a book. Incredible. Incredible. You know?
Jacob, for Grib, is it Grib? Grib. Grib. What kind of druid are you again? I am a druid studying the Circle of Wildfire. Ooh, studying. Whoa.
Very California. Yeah. Very California. Is that why the surfer dude was a rejected voice? Yes. But this sort of ties into his gardening roots, his ultimate goal. He understands that he's got to be able to scorch the earth to bring the nitrogen back.
to replenish the land. Okay. Wow. He's doing controlled burns. He's doing what California should be doing in its natural habitats. I will say... I was in the Redwood Forest. He's practicing blood sugar sex magic. I was in the Redwood Forest, and there were...
you know, substances involved. I was having the trip of my life, let's say. And then my friend told me that, did you know that redwood trees in the bark are seeds for more redwood trees that are only released while getting burned? Yes. They're like literally, like it's built in there. It really is part of that circle of life.
I was not in the mind state to receive that deep of information. It truly floored me. And I was like, this is so beautiful and crazy. Yeah. I was, when I was there, I was like, there's like a bunch of plaques about like, there's areas that were burnt out. Right. We're maybe in the same spot. I bet we were. I was reading this plaque that was like kind of near, like, you know,
where they're all named after political things, like the Senate. There's this area that has things like that. The underground chamber that they go to during a siege. Yeah, there was a bunch of... The fire was Nancy Pelosi's working office. Seditious tree, yeah. The Denver airport is actually a bunker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I was chewing on in this scenario. But there's a plaque about the fire that how the fire affects trees and like certain trees, like it has to burn so, so, so hot to actually kill them. Like they can withstand such an intense fire before they actually are permeable.
permanently killed yeah it's so resilient and cool and like yeah just really beautiful can i ask a question how good was that fact scale one to ten uh that they have a certain temperature they have to hit before you know did you like all the concrete details within or i mean it's sort of it sparked my imagination so i'd give it you know it's at least a four out of ten
Yeah. It inspired me to maybe go look up more information about them. I think I would probably call it like maybe a seven where I would just recite that fact to other people. Yeah, definitely. It's a repeatable fact. I will tell you that. I don't know the details, but I heard somewhere, I was listening to this podcast, and I'm just going to let you assume that it was an educational podcast and not going to give you information beyond that. Yeah.
This is I'm just going to take this opportunity. Anybody listening, if you get a chance to go see the Redwoods in Northern California, it's the most amazing thing. So, you know, save up your coins. Dare I say mid California is not even that north. Oh, well, I would prefer people to go north, but that's fine.
If you want the true Redwood experience, don't fuck with this Kings Canyon frat boy. Shit. You gotta go north. If you really want to see God and go to church, you gotta go, you know, into the Emerald Triangle. It is church. Amen.
Amen, amen. Amen, amen. Jacob, what else about this wildfire? With that, don't you have like a little familiar guy? Yeah, so I have like a spirit of flame that sort of like comes from me. It basically assumes the wild shape role in the druid zone. And so you kind of get to pick what your guy looks like. And in all of the books and stuff, it's like depicted as this sort of Mozilla Firefox character.
uh and i i was kind of like i i was thinking like kind of the standard for a minute and then it stopped being the standard i don't really know why maybe google yeah exactly so you know i was kind of thinking what my guy would look like and i was sort of imagining to kind of go with the gardening theme to sort of it's like a fire fungus so it's sort of like an anthropomorphic uh like like a
mushroom guy. Like, imagine the Pillsbury Doughboy, but instead of the chef's hat, it's like a mushroom cap. And he's sort of like, you know, just like a embodiment of fire with a fire kind of scoops up. But he's like my little guy. He's so cute. He helps me like, I'd burn my finger on that guy's belly button. Oh,
I was wondering if you were going to say Flame Boy from World Industries. That really got me. What's World Industries? It's like a skate brand. The skate brand with Flame Boy and Wet Willie. Wet Willie. You know, it's a little bit like hookups. You know, all that merch that you had in high school? Hookups, Zach. Yeah.
I love just making him very casually and subtly Californian. He's got all these mascots. I'm just kidding, Zach. Anybody else? Did anyone else have that at their school? They weren't allowed at my school. I grew up in a surfskate mecca, so it was like...
- Prominent. - It was all hookups. - I know exactly what you're talking about, but I didn't. - They were just absolutely rated X drawings of Alice in Wonderland with huge tits. That's why I'm laughing about picturing high school Zach only wearing hookups merch. - Got JNCOs and hookups on. - They're so bad. They're truly so bad.
um, you know, I mean, you know, Alabama, there is like a bit of a skate culture when I was in like junior high, but that really does not, um, it gets really beaten down in high school where there's Southern fratty, uh,
idiots. I was at Venice beach the other day going for a little bike ride, just trying to get out of the house. And I stopped by the skate park and skate culture has been so like ingrained and force fed to me that I was looking at all these like 22 year old dudes. And I was just like, yeah, that's like all I ever wanted to look like was this like thin, like
dirt bag like makes this shit hat look good and it's just because he's got nice caps that he can just like you can just look like absolute shit and it's like a fucking shirt your dad gave you before he left and like cut off jeans and you're just like so fucking hot
She's so hot. I was like, I'm grown. I'm like really happy with who I am and like what I've become, but I'm still looking at that. And I'm just like, yeah, that's exact. I still want that.
to be that scumbag for some reason. It was so fed to me. I was so shocked because I was talking to my brother and I thought, I mean, it's not like we are constantly talking about sex and dating, but in my mind, I thought I knew his type and he was like, no, it's like little skaters. I just want to destroy little skater boys.
And that blew my fucking mind. And then he was like, no, that's really common for gay guys to be into disgusting skaters who are going to give you an STD with their carne asada hands. I'm more of a pastor boy, but I'll take it. Oh, God. Yeah, that world. I just want to say the whole aesthetic is zero effort.
Do you think that comes from this sense of it's cool because you don't care? Yeah. It's like you can look like shit and the fact that you're still so confident looking like shit means you have to be so cool to still be like
I like to think about it. Like, I think you're absolutely right. But I do think that there's a kernel of truth that like all cool things do come from something like very natural and utilitarian. You know what I mean? And it's just like, you probably just didn't care about what you wore because it was going to get thrashed.
Yeah. Yeah. And that's fucking rad, dude. And so like that little bit of not caring because it will get thrashed turns into. Actually, now I'm going to wear this all the time because the shirt is like ripped and my shoes are shitty.
and my fucking belt is a shoelace and like women are flocking flocking to come to my room that only has a mattress. I mean beans out of a can that I heated up over a butane lighter that I
Trapp, do you think skaters are hobos? What? No, I know skate culture, guys. I'm cool. I'm cool. It's like, oh, I'm going to hop on the trains and ride all the way to Tuscaloosa because I'm a skater. Here's all my things on a little stick, on a little pole. Oh, I'm doing a cameo in the Home Alone movie. Yeah, you know, I'm leaving messages in chalk outside the fence post so that the other skaters know it's safe to stay here.
I know more about hobo culture than I do skate culture. That's fine. It's a cooler, it's probably a more legitimate culture. Anyways, I want to be them. I love them.
I'll be 50 and I'll be like, dang, dude, I wish I could skate. Oh, my gosh. Well, what about you, Zach? Do you feel like now that we're like, you're starting a brand new arc with mostly new characters and you have like a full arc under your belt, do you feel like there's stuff you want to try doing differently this time, things you learned the first time around that you're trying to implement into your new arc? Definitely.
Definitely. I think what's nice about this is just generally experimenting with tone. I feel like I was driving this sort of premise of the obelisk pretty hard last time and
and i think there's room to be a little more um open-ended with this one like definitely conflict and um like challenges and things ahead but like not so so plotty in some ways if that makes sense i mean um there's room to not be so bloody i mean um but i think uh i i think it
Thinking about the first arc, which was very much like Willy Wonka mixed with, you know, the Hobbit or whatever. Um,
This one is just going to be like adventure at sea. It's basically the overall premise with a few things that I don't want to necessarily spoil yet. Maybe there'll be a detective who's a little obsessive compulsive, but he's really good at solving mysteries, but the one mystery he can't solve. He's impossible to interact with.
- Right, it's just like he's so particular. - But he's so good. - He's so brilliant. - But he's so good, good. - But there's one case he can't solve. - What's that? - His wife died and there's like a block there and he just can't figure it out. That's sort of like the bigger arc over there.
- And there's one thing he can't solve. - Yeah, is it kind of like that vibe, like you sit with the show and you're experiencing with the character and then you realize it is a jungle out there? - Oh, for sure, it's a jungle out there. Something and confusion everywhere. - Stop, just stop. Can you guys just stop? - So the first, what, 10, 15 minutes of each ep will be us all washing our hands over and over. - Sure. - Cool. - Sharona's there.
Sharonda is there. Which class am I again? Did I already say it? You said drunken master. What is that? A monk. Oh, it's a jungle out there.
- It's a jungle out there? What the fuck does that mean? What are you talking about? - It's jungle out there. - And that is not the voice of Grib. - Wow, Grib reveal, you heard it here first. - Grib reveal is Randy Newman. - Horrifying. I'm already in trouble with you three. - I'm gonna be, during the campaign, Zach, I'm gonna be normal. - Oh right. - Like I'm doing you a favor, I'm a normal guy.
I'm just a normal, I just A to B, baby. Normal elephant man with a flame familiar. I just get up, I go to work, I go to bed. I save my coin. Makes me so sad he doesn't know any other Loxodons. What are you saving for?
Just a plot of land, baby, so I can garden. Oh, wow. That is really normal. I put into just a very diversified sort of like Vanguard type investment portfolio. You know, the returns are reliable and it's not very flashy, but it gets the job done. Widespread shallow pool. Do you have like a credit card with points? I don't do credit. You got like a points system? No credit. Wow.
Here's something. We know that Turbine's coming into this arc looking for clues about this obelisk. Does anyone else, do you think you have any personal motivations? I think I have all of them. All of the personal motivations? No, I think I have all the clues that Turbine wants. And I'm going to reveal them all at the very top of the first episode. I'll just say, and of course, Nancy, make a deception check after you do that.
Not one. I love all of them in response to what sort of personal motivation do you have? Just imagine in an acting class. And what is your character's motivation? Nancy is a compulsive liar. All of them. Well, yeah, I mean, it makes sense for you as a Loxanon to want to, like...
Yeah, just want your plot of land. It sounds like you want a peaceful life. But it does. I mean, I can imagine you're curious about where you came from to some extent. Oh, for sure. There is a genuine curiosity that has been like, traumatically shoved down to me.
uh to belong you know you can't grip can't ask himself that question too much because then he starts to realize like oh i i am not from here i do not belong here this is not my place
But you're a normal guy. And he just wants to be a normal guy. It's like so, so normal. It's abnormal. Sure. Yes. Yeah. Do you drink grip? Grip is like a good little Druid boy. Like he's got his tea. He's really not into, uh, the, the, the sins of the world. You know, he wants to practice mindfulness and presence, uh,
So he really does sort of abstain, I think, from things that cloud the mind. Do Loxodons have hands? What are their hands like? I think it is sort of... Stumps like elephant hands? Their top things, I believe, are phalangeal. How many fingers do they have? Yeah, I think their top hands are phalangeal. Are there any rings? Are you wearing any rings?
I think it might be a Simpsons hand sort of thing here. They got like big. Yeah. It's a total Simpsons hand situation. Yeah.
It's a four-digit sort of thing. I just looked up, do loxodons have hands? And I just clicked images. God, there's some really ripped, beautiful loxodons. Oh, Grib is pretty chunked. He's thick. He's got that thick boy muscle. Hell yeah. You can see it. Like a corn-fed farmer. Like a barrel. Just that sort of wide chest, full keg of a...
Like solid. Correct. What is Grib's like attire like? Grib is sort of like kind of like the only sort of like thing that he has that connects him to is like Luxadon identity is this like jewel he's always had, which is these things like Luxadons always have some sort of
kind of running from their forehead to their trunk. And his is these like sort of gold triangles and with a little like purple Sapphire inlet. And that's sort of like the only fancy thing about him. And otherwise he's just like kind of in like a, uh, mortal combat esque, like, uh, no sleeve vest. It kind of like, like sub zero, kind of like jacks. Oh,
The iconic Jack's costume. Yeah, yeah. Number one character. Not his metal arms, but his vest. Well, you have to wear a vest so you can show off the metal arms, Zach. Yeah. So it is sort of a vest. It's like a flowy kind of flowy like when a girl goes to India and gets those pants.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. So he's kind of got those flowy pants and like a vest. But less appropriative. Yeah, exactly. Because you are. Wait. He wants to show off his like big arms and his chest and his like weird abs, you know, so he doesn't wear a shirt. Am I wrong? Have you just described Aladdin's ensemble? Oh my God. Oh my God.
I just accidentally described Aladdin. You're right. You're 100% right. Do you have a little fez? Yeah, I guess he's kind of like Aladdin-esque. Yeah. Wow, cool. It could have been worse. I could have like accidentally described like Kenny from South Park or something. Just this kind of like orange hood that's always up.
It's a little hard to understand him. He tightens it. That's so funny. That's so funny. Guys, he can die. One of his powers is he dies all the time, but he can come back to life. That's pretty cool. I will say, I think Nancy Ray has a possibility that she's been working towards for a really long time. With dog breeding, I imagine she has all female dogs.
Male dogs pee all over the house unless they're spayed or neutered. When you're a dog breeder, you don't need a spayed dog. So she's already paid the stud fee. Of course, I should say, of course. Of course. She's already Western Mutual sent. She's wired $2,000 to this person with the most incredible dog.
That's the stud fee. She needs to go west, so she's bringing her best dog to mate with this other dog. -Amazing. She's bringing a little dog. -Just letting you know that that's what I'm up to. Are we going east? Wait, did I flip that? -No, you're right. You are going west. -I'm going west. Everyone else is going east.
Cool. So we'll follow two disparate adventures. It's just me crushing fucking full throttle energy drinks, quietly waiting for my boat, which is different than your guys'. Nancy swims across the ocean, it seems like. It's Nancy Ray, everyone. She either goes by Nance or Nancy Ray again.
No in between. Nancy Wayne. Gotcha. Gotcha. And that last name we've changed to... Ogon. G-O-N. Got it. Got it. Good. I just know I'm in trouble. I know. I'm a normal guy. Hey, you keep saying you're a normal guy and it's actually putting me...
putting me ill at ease like the the more you insist you're a normal guy it's like the more it makes me kind of like wonder if i should be like curious about this i don't know all right well i think i'm saying what i mean all right well i don't know i'm not much of a comedian i'm more of like a straightforward just like you know i say what i mean sure
Again, just insisting that you say what you mean, it just makes you wonder if you mean the opposite. -Huh, I'll think about that. I'll think on that. -I am not.
I am not involved in insurance fraud. Okay, but I didn't ask about insurance fraud. So the fact that you're bringing it up right now, yeah. I'm not involved. Not involved in insurance fraud. Okay, all right. Just so y'all know. I mean, I thought we were trying to paint a picture. So I painted it with some facts and I'm painting it with debunking some rumors. And it's that I'm not involved in credit fraud. So there are rumors that you're involved in? What's that?
-There are rumors. -There better not be because I certainly have not been taking out credit cards under the name of the deceased in my neighborhood. -Okay. Very specific denial. It's a very specific denial. It feels like the fact that there's so many specifics in that denial makes it sound-- -I think that maybe makes it a stronger denial. I don't know. -Okay. All right. We'll agree to disagree, I guess.
Zach just plays a cop and immediately arrests me. We got him. We got him rolling. I'm just reporting to the police station. Just wanted to let you know I am not committing insurance fraud. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye. You're on record. We recorded it. You're wired to a microphone in front of you. What? What is this, a podcast? What is this, Scam Goddess? Ooh.
Shout out Lacey. Let's do a cross podcast. Lacey, I'll invite you to the Zoom right now. Incredible. She's in the waiting room. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. Well, I think that's really all I had to discuss today. I'm very excited to get this arc started.
And I'm excited to see how you all, what this weird-ass party is like together. Let's get these dogs fucking... Allie?
Do you want me to hit record right now, or should I start? Eat my head. Now that we're caught up as people who are doing the show, we're going to do the show now, right? Yeah, we've got to get by. That was just the catch-up, right? That was the recap. I feel warm. I'm ready to riff and talk about our character. That was a great warm-up. I'm canceling the podcast forever. Okay.
Awesome. Well, I think that's it for today. I think we've covered the whole session zero vibes. Looking forward to seeing this trio come together in this next arc. And I think that's it for me. Anyone else have anything they want to say before we go? Don't forget about the big revoice. Say that again?
Damn. Don't forget about the big voice reveal, episode one. Big voice reveal, episode one. If you can put out a press release, actually, because I think people are going to want to get on that. They'll want to know that this is coming down. For sure. Variety is already covering it. Thank you. Thank you for handling that. Awesome. All right. Well, see you next week. Thanks. Bye. Bye.