Arc 1 Ep. 4 : The Roots of Some Evil PART 1
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Welcome back to the Rotating Heroes podcast. I'm Takoyama and I'm here with... Jasper William Cartwright. Hi, Zach. How are you?

Oh, I'm doing good. Look, we're pretty far through arc one. This is quite the adventure. It truly is. Like, what a gorgeous little trio as well. There's no other word to describe them. They're gorgeous. They're just gorgeous.

It was very funny. My darling wife was helping me go through some of these episodes and she was saying, she was like, I love Emily so much. She's met Emily a couple of times, but she was like, please let Emily know that she is making me feel slightly queasy. I think it's just like the voice and constant reference to kind of like just sort of disgusting horse related, you know, jokes. She was just like, I just, it's just not for me.

Now, I know it's a thing in the United States. In the UK, do you have the phenomenon of little girls obsessed with horses and have horses on all their stuff? Okay, so that was... It's a stupid question, maybe. Completely stupid question. Because that was my wife's mum.

So this is part of the reason why I think she has such a visceral reaction to this because she was like, you know, she growing up, my wife was forced to have a horse. Like as in like my, her mom was like, right girls. Cause she's got two other sisters and she's like, right girls, you're going to have a horse. You're going to have a horse and you have to look after it. And the way that my wife describes his horse is like, was like the nastiest thing.

that refused to be trained. It refused to be ridden. It was just like, it just existed to be difficult. It's like the monkey paw version of being a horse girl where you're like, don't want it at all. No, truly. You have the worst horse. Honestly, she hated this horse.

Like she hated it. Oh my God. She was just like, it was just so rude and it would just kick and bite her all the time. Like, she was like, why am I doing this? It doesn't sound fun. Exactly. It's just not good. I don't want to be that kind of nasty horse. Maybe, maybe it needed a, uh, maybe it needed a saddle so it could ride its dolphin. Maybe that's what it was missing. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how you sort out a horse's behavioral problems. You let them have a saddle that they then use to ride a dolphin. They then use to ride a dolphin. Well, we're picking back up in the story in episode four, part one. Is that correct? Yes, that is what we're doing right now. Take it away, past Zach. Nice. And now presenting a rotating ear.

Welcome back to episode four of the Rotating Heroes podcast. I'm joined again, as always, so far, by the first ARX crew. No, no, so far. Again, as always, so far. As always, so far. As always, so far. Stitch that on a pillow, ladies and gentlemen. That's some fucking merch if I ever heard it.

Oh, good. Good start. Always a good start here. And I'll introduce them and they will respond as politely as possible. First off, we have Mike Trapp. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. I know you're all very busy and surround the holidays. So thank you. Thank you so much. Of course. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Well, thank you for having me. Next up, Emily Axford. Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I

it's just always such a privilege to get to you know just play spread my wings and play spread my wings and play i as always so far as i so far as always and finally our third and final player siobhan thompson

You're listening to this after Christmas, but we're recording it before. Okay, then. Santa controls time. Is there anything more polite than Santa? An old man who demands you sit on his lap? That's politeness. Ha ha ha ha!

I have to say, yeah. Give me cookies. In England, you give him brandy. You give him brandy and a mince pie. That is so funny. I thought you were going to say, in England, you give him biscuits. No.

No, he's giving brandy and then he gets absolutely- And then he drives? Tonked and then he drives to the States. Well, technically the reindeer drive. Yes, that's true. They also get blasted. They get carrots. That's so funny to imagine Santa going to every house in the world and getting a little brandy in each of them. It's like 10 houses in. It's like, whoa, it's going to be a long night. It's the ultimate power out. I guess he's got some padding, so he can probably-

-He can probably throw them back. -That's true. -But he only drinks one night a year. -The rest of the year, he's just fucking making toys in hopes of getting brandy. -He's so hungover yelling at elves to stop making toys. -"Stop that hammering. Jesus Christ. You all have to stop for one night."

Oh, wow. I mean, and speaking of Santa possibly flying and falling through the air, that's as good of a segue as I can do. Let's get into a recap of where we left off last time. Avant realizing Galfas the horse wasn't in the lobby, the remaining contestants followed Barnabas's lead to the elevator with promises of finding Galfas in the small forest atop the obelisk. On the way up, though, they had their final challenge, protecting the horse.

protect a copper egg from robo-snakes, all while avoiding the temptation of glittering, mesmerizing walls all around the battlefield. Our team deftly handled wave after wave of snake, turbine skewering several, Brenda Elizabeth slowing them down and heating them up, Astrid standing completely still for the entire fight. You know, just teamwork. Oh.

As the robo-snakes almost escaped with the egg, Brenda Elizabeth was able to perform a Hail Mary Misty Step to Turbine who used a Clutch Levitate spell thanks to his little magnet boots and ended the battle floating safely above. His little magnet boots. My little magnet boots. Little magnet boots. Ha ha ha.

After successfully winning, Bink, Bonk, and Raider were tubed out of the competition, leaving our team and Barnabas securely at the top. But, Turbine noticed Galfast was nowhere to be seen. The crew grilled Barnabas, culminating with Astrid grabbing him by the neck and surprisingly ripping him from his entire mechanical body, revealing that Barnabas was actually Tradix, the gnome from the portrait in the lobby. Gasp. Before they- Sorry, what? Gasp. Gasp!

Gasp. Classic gasp. Gasp. Gasp.

Before they could hash it out, a cold, evil, synthy voice emanated from the obelisk itself, revealing some much more sinister plans were happening in the shadows. The team's world literally came crashing down after the floor of the elevator below their feet dropped out from under them. And that's where we are today. So two things before we get into the falling part of this episode. The only one to pass the Dex check was Brenda Elizabeth with a 17.

And then the other factor is that Turbine is still floating with the little magnets.

-Here's the line of words. -I'm fucked. -What does this translate to what we're seeing? Brenda Elizabeth is not falling. I have fallen, but I'm still floating and Astrid is falling. Is that what's happening? -Brenda Elizabeth, this is how this will work out mechanically. The floor of the elevator falls out from under you. Tradix makes eye contact with you full of surprise.

scared, and begins to fall. Brenda Elizabeth, by passing your dex check, you are able to stabilize yourself enough to have one turn before everyone starts falling. Okay. And is that right now? That turn is right now. The turn has begun. Oh, Elizabeth!

Okay. It's always so funny to me to imagine like real time passing in the D&D world when it passes here. It's like, it's like, and everyone's falling and going. It's like, ooh, look at my spell. No, no, no, no.

no, no, we're falling. Okay. Right with you. I think that, so I've stabilized myself. Am I like stable and on like a wall or something? The elevator comes up like just a floor. It doesn't have any surrounding walls. There were these like glimmering arena walls that I think retracted. So there's not any walls. It's just like a surface that's about to fall down this time. I have a turn, but I'm going to be falling. Yeah.

Yes. Because I essentially was like, oh, maybe I'll Thorn Whip to try to get Astrid to safety, but it sounds like I'm not even in safety. And also, this platform is really large. If we remember from last episode, it was like a 60-foot arena for your side, and then Bink, Bonk, and Raider had their own side, so it's 120 feet wide. 120 feet wide, so casting Entangle underneath it won't do anything because it's really big. Casting Thorn Whip won't save Astrid.

So I think I will just have to, I think that I have nothing to do here that is helpful. So I think I am going to, since Brenda Elizabeth has run through all of these possibilities, she cannot save Astrid by using thorn whip. She cannot, uh, prevent the fall. Uh,

from casting entangle so she is going to just use a bonus action to create healing spirit which is basically just any if anyone touches it they can get a d6 so i'm hoping if someone were to get knocked out and next to it maybe they could get brought back to life but

Does it move around? Until the spell ends, whatever you or creature you can see moves into the spirit's space for the first time or starts a turn there, you can cause the spirit to restore 1d6 hit points to that creature. No action required. The spirit can't heal constructs or undead. So can you cast that at the base of the elevator shaft?

So we just fall into it. Well, since we're on this platform and it sounds like this platform is big, I'm going to do it right in between all three of us or all four of us even. I'll include this gnome. So if anyone gets knocked out by the fall on their turn, they can get a D6 of hit points and have a turn. So that's a bonus action that I will also...

As my action, I will take on a starry form. So I think I'm going to take on my... Everyone's good for hit points right now, right? Yeah. Yeah. Then...

Fuck it, I guess I'm just gonna take on my archer form, just in case. Okay, so you take on your archer form. No, that's not good. If I want to keep this healing spirit up, I need my concentration, so I take on my dragon form. Okay. And that is what I fucking do. Brenda Elizabeth dons her childlike dragon costume in the split second before this platform gives out. Wait, we're falling? Zip. Zip.

As the platform gives out from everyone, everyone please roll initiative. And everyone should know that now a sparkly horse has appeared, but it's a good horse. So you could take heals from it if you'd get hurt. Great.

I got a 13 initiative. 18. 11. I'll roll for 16. So, Turbine, you are still floating with your levitation boots. Levitation isn't like fly, though. Okay. So you can't really control yourself, and you don't have a flight speed of 60 or whatever. So you watch as everyone else begins to fall. Okay. Okay.

So just so I can understand this clearly, I'm basically floating and the ground falls up beneath us. I remain floating like Wile E. Coyote for a moment. And then I see everyone else falling down beneath me. Is that about right? That is true. And just to make sure that I'm painting as clear of a picture as possible, this obelisk is taller than the mountain itself. Okay. This is...

very very tall you couldn't cast a spell where the lobby was you could you can't see it from here and it's also so so so far down but uh yes you begin to see everyone fall as you're floating okay turbine leave us leave us to die okay this is immediately on you're right

I believe we established in a previous session that only wearing one of these boots gives you feather fall instead of levitating. So could I take off one of these boots and like chuck it at Astrid so that she can have, so we can both feather fall a little bit? Yes. I think, I mean, we, the rules were vague on this. Yes. I feel like you maybe used the levitation spell and that sort of used it up, but I'll allow you to make a DC 20 levitation

Tinkerer check. Okay. Do you have tinkerer tools? I have tinkerer tools, and in fact, I'm like an artificer, so I have... You have the artificer feat, right? That's what you mean by that? I have artificer feat, and I basically built my character around being able to tinker with shit. Add twice your proficiency bonus to history checks related to magical items, alchemical objects, or technological devices.

And I'm also proficient with Tinker's tools. I think I'm going to say that we just need to make these choices faster just because you're falling in real time. I initially thought that just having only one boot would not be enough to lift me, so it would just be enough to let me drift down. If that's not the case and I need to adjust them, then I'll do whatever roles I need to in order to make them adjust. Yeah, so make that Tinker's check to see if you can make that system work.

Okay, 11 plus 5 is 16. Okay, unfortunately, you don't think that if you throw it to Astrid, that will work. But you're levitating above. It feels like you're not really going to be able to help people. It doesn't feel like you're going to be able to keep up with everyone as they start to fall. They're starting to fall too fast. It's up to you what you do. You still have your turn. I don't think that that was maybe like an object interaction. Okay.

So I have to choose between either falling, taking these off and falling with them, or... Fuck it, I'm going to do that. Turbide, no, it's too metal. It's too badass and extreme sports. You couldn't possibly... I'm going to turn off the levitate and just sort of start like Mission Impossible style with my pointy hat, just like diving after everyone. Incredible. So...

Turban, you fall after everyone. So you start falling. Is there anything else you want to do with this turn? I mean, is there anything else I can do? Do you have Bardic Inspiration? You could do that. You could give someone Bardic Inspiration. Sure. To let you know, the mechanic of this fight has not quite begun yet. Okay. Are people on the platform and the platform is falling or are people falling through the air? People are falling through the air. The platform is falling in front of them. Got it. I think Astrid still has a Bardic Inspiration left over from last fight. I do.

You could also hold your turn if you want to do that. Oh, sure. Yeah, maybe just so I can get a better sense of what the hell's going on. Okay, after you, Tradix goes. He holds up a little, like, clockwork amulet. It's a little, like, copper thing with, like, a little cog that's, like, moving around with, like, little tinier cogs moving around within that.

And he goes, "Ah, Modrons to me!" And as he says that, those little creature things that you caught at the beginning of this whole arc start flying around like they don't really know what's going on, but they are flying and flooding the tunnel trying to help you guys. They're very small, but they are in the tunnel itself. And then Tredek says, "Just try to grab onto one!" And he reaches out and he tries to grab one. Just roll for him.

He misses it. Like this. They can help you. They'll help you slow down. And as he says that, he misses one. So as he misses it, that's the end of Tradix's turn. Turbine, you now see a bunch of Modrons filling the tunnel. To be clear, as this encounter goes on, if you don't do anything to slow your fall, you'll take full fall damage at like 20d6. If you grab one of these Modrons, you'll take 10d6 of damage. If you grab two...

You'll take 5d6, and 3 will get rid of all the damage. Okay, so the platform is completely going to be gone. Yes, the platform's going to be gone. All right, everyone ignore the healing spirit. It's going to plummet. I'll say the healing spirit is just falling at speed with you. Healing spirit, grab onto a modron.

So it's all falling. All of these little guys are coming out to try to help you. They're really small, so they're only so helpful. You guys are going to fall for five rounds, just to be clear. Okay. So now, next up, Trap, you can take your turn, or you can wait. Can I do some kind of check to see if I know whether or not Modrons can be charmed? Yeah, I think they can be charmed. Okay, cool. I would like to...

I would like to just, I'm just like copying Tradix and like, oh yeah, Modrons to me. Are you sure it really didn't work out well for him?

I'm going to cast Suggestion, and I'm going to... My suggestion is Modrons to me. I'm going to try to get at least a Modron. I'll let you as DM tell me how many... It says I can magically influence a creature I can see, so I assume that's only one. Yeah, I think it's just one. But what do you cast? I mean, what kind of save do they make? They...

they do want to help you okay uh but i will say that uh since everything is falling they're like even though they're on your side if you want to grab one it's like an opposed dexterity okay to represent the falling and strength and opposed you know like a wisdom oh okay i thought this was gonna be like i really have to fucking convince these these fuckers to help us uh

Okay, then maybe I'll just grab one then. Okay, cool. I mean, you can still use that spell. I didn't mean to... I'll put it in my pocket. Maybe I'll need it later. Okay. Cool. So roll an imposed either dexterity or strength check. Okay, let's go with dexterity. That's better.

That's a nat 20. Yes! So you lock eyes with this modron. It nods at you. Still diving through the air. Stupid head just links out and just throws an arm out like your tandem skydivers and latches onto you. You slow down a little bit. Anything else with your turn? I might as well give Brad Elizabeth Bardic inspiration. She doesn't have one yet.

She's close enough. Wow. How do you inspire me, Turbide? Actually, what you just did was inspiring. I just put on goggles, dove in the air, grabbed a Modron midair, and then what the hell? I'll pull out a concertina and pull a duo, like just a fucking bitch in concertina solo. I saw this and I was like, wow, maybe horses aren't the only cool creature on this earth.

- Brenda Elizabeth, you almost hear the music under the crashing sound of this elevator ripping through the entire album. It's still incredibly inspiring. - There's like a gestalt that just places the music. I just, like my brain assumes the music.

It's full-on action sequence music. It's hurdy-gurdy-ing up. It sounds like it's going into a really crunchy amp, but I don't even see one. It's plugged into the Modron. It's like the Doof Warrior in Mad Max. There's bungee cords off these Modrons bouncing around.

Next up is Astrid. Yes. You've started falling. Make a perception check for me. Sure. Well, that's a net one. You don't notice anything. You don't notice shit. Great. But you can still attempt to grab a modron if you would like. I will do that. And you can use strength if you want. Yes, I would love to. Does this count as an attack? It's a grapple.

- Just because I was like, I'll go into a rage if it counts as an attack, but if not, I won't. - Okay, so this, it counts as a special melee attack to make a grapple, so I'll just say it counts for this. - In which case I have two attacks, that's exciting. So I will go into a rage and then, sorry, what am I rolling? Just a opposed strength? - Yes. - Great. - Or you can do athletics, sorry. - Oh, great. So the first one I got a dirty 20.

Okay, you just beat it. Yes! It rolled an 18. And then for my second attack, I got a 22. Wow, they were rolling really well, but you beat them both times. So you have grabbed two of them. Okay, so you're holding two Monodrones. You're still...

keeping up with people, but you know that your impact would not be so devastating if you hit. And they're happy to be grabbed, even though they're pretty forceful. It's 2020, you know, it's quarantine. Everyone's a little happy to be grabbed these days, I think. And then last up is Brenda Elizabeth. Okay, I'm just going to try and go after one of these little guys. If it's athletics, I have a plus two to it.

That's a 14 plus two, 16. I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna use that bardic inspiration. I might as well. It'd be good to get this. - It rolled a two. I'll just give that to you. So you have grabbed one.

Okay, I've grabbed one. And does that count as my action? That is your action, yeah. Yeah, okay. Then, yeah, I'm just going to leave it at that because I got my concentration going. And, yeah, it seems like what I could do. Tight. So everyone has grabbed at least one modron. Astrid has grabbed two. At the end of your turn, you notice as the elevator floor is tearing through this tunnel, these, like, brakes are trying to kick in, but it's...

It's smashing through the brakes themselves. It's becoming even more unstable and like kind of swirling around. It's fucking up the tunnel itself. You notice like oil and other pneumatic like kind of tubes and stuff that were attached to it are breaking off and just like spraying oil everywhere. There's weird little blue explosions that you kind of don't understand what they are. No, the obelisk!

This is terrible. Galvanize is missing. The obelisk is crumbling. My shirt has oil on it. No, no, no, stop, stop. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop. So everything's looking pretty bad. But actually, since it's at the top of the turn, I'll let everyone make a perception check. Great. Oh, no.

Okay, that's a little better. 16. I got a 10. I got a 18. Astrid and Brenda Elizabeth, you notice that one of these monodrons is hit by like a bluish explosion. And it's not like actual fire. It's sort of like this type of electricity thing. You notice that it just immediately falls dead and just starts dropping. Oh.

It's sort of like an EMP. So anything robotic that it touches deactivates completely. Now, Turbine, it's your turn. Roll a D6. Ooh.

Interesting. That's a two. Okay, you're safe. Nothing happens. Great! Now you see more Modrons flying around. Tradix is also falling freely. What do you do? I am going to... I don't know how much we care about Tradix. I'm going to try to grab another Modron. Ha ha ha!

Wow. Wow, dark. But he was gonna be our boss. Roll a opposed dex check. Cool. Oh no, that's a seven. Okay, so you reach out for one, you miss it though, and this one wanted to be like, it feels like when you try to like nail a handshake and you...

And you guys hit each other in the hand and slip off. It pats you on the back as you fly off. Anything else for this turn? I'll give Tradix my last bardic inspiration. Okay, cool. Now it is Tradix's turn. So I'll pass off that as if it was cool, like we meant to do that. It's like, oh, whoops, we're just doing a fun move here in the air. Play a little tune. Still try to be very cool. Turbide, you are thriving at free fall. Yeah.

Then Tradix looks up to you, give him Bardic Inspiration. He sees that cool handshake. He's like, he's inspired. Now it's Tradix's turn. Tradix is also going to roll a d6. Okay, two. He's fine. And he's going to roll. Okay, he misses another grab and it's too low to even waste a Bardic Inspiration on. ♪♪♪

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Six. Okay. Is that bad? You go through an EMP blast. No! Both monodrones you're holding fall dead. No! Unable to help you float anymore. You're just floating again, starting at zero, but you still have your action. Do we know where these blasts are coming from? They're just sort of around. The elevator floor is scraping against the sides of the tunnel, and it's like breaking things that are causing this EMP to go off. I guess I'll try for two more.

That's a 12. Okay. It's an imposed strength check. It beat you, unfortunately. It was too strong in the air. Okay. And then my second one is, I'm going to use that body. It's a D6, right? It's a D8 now. Oh, D8. Because you guys all leveled, I should say. Great. Okay. That's a 19. You grab one mana drone successfully. Great. Slowing yourself down a little bit again. Brenda Elizabeth, your turn. Okay. So I roll a D6 to see if this thing does something to me.

I rolled a two. Okay, you're good. Okay, okay. You're currently holding one monodrone. You're swirling around trying to catch more. What do you do? Does it look like this thing that takes the electronics away? Does it look like it's going to affect Turbide and Astrid next round as well? It just depends. As you look down the tunnel, the elevator floor is continuing to fuck everything up, so it looks like it could be an ongoing issue.

Okay, so then can I guiding bolt this thing that undoes the electronic stuff? I think that they're just kind of spread out through this elevator shaft. Like if you guiding bolted one, all the rest of them would still be a problem. Okay, then I will just try to grab another one of these abatadropes. Three plus two is a five. I almost feel like I shouldn't use my bardic inspiration yet.

Yeah, you can use either strength or dex for grapple checks, I think. Okay, then in that case, I'll use dex. I'll use acrobatics, so it's plus four, so it's a seven. Okay, let's see what this monodrone gets. Ooh, rolled really low. It only rolled a four. Yes! So you grab one. You got two. I wear them on my shoulders like shoulder pads, like an 80s business woman. Damn, that's cool!

Almost looks like she's standing still, except she has monodrons on either shoulder. She looks like Samus from Meet a Vector of Time. And that's the end of the second round. On the third round, we're back at the top of the order. Turbine, it's your turn. How many monodrons do you have at this point? I have one. Okay. Oh, and roll a d6 again. Oh, yes, yes. Let's see if something happens to me. I got a three.

Okay, so as this elevator floor is ripping through this tunnel, it's like spinning off its axis. It hits some pipes, breaking them, shooting oil out, covers the monodrone you're currently holding. Make a dexterity saving throw to see if you hang on to it. From my slippery, oily drone. No, my slippery, oily. And I'll say because you're wearing those magnet boots. Yes, you have advantage on dex. Oh, right. I'll use that twice because that one wasn't very good. I rolled a six first time.

And then my second one, that is a 17 plus 3 for 20. Yeah! I maintain your grade. Still cool. I try to pass it off as real cool still somehow, even though it's, like, very goofy. Why is Turban always trying to get, like, somehow getting cooler and cooler as every fight goes on?

Now it's just your turn. You can try to grab another one. Yeah, and that seems like the thing to do. So I'll just try to grab another one. That's another opposed dex. Check, is that right? Yes. And should I have been rolling that last one with advantage too because of the mag boots? I forgot about that ability. No, it's for saving throws. Okay, cool. All right, let's try. I'm going to try to grab another little flying thing. How are we doing here? That's a 13. 13.

It rolled a 13. Ooh. So does that mean you roll off? I don't know what that means. Or actually, it rolled a 14. It has a plus one. Oh, come on. Oh, sorry. All right. Brutal. Absolutely brutal. Wow. I'd love to come back from this. Oh, gosh. Okay. That was so cool, too. So cool with my oily modron. It's okay. You still hug Ad to why that's impressive. Yeah. Next up is Tradix. He's going to try to grab one as well. He rolls a 14. Ooh.

this this monodrone they're trying to help but just representing the fall is their opposition to this and it rolled a nat 20 and it just nails him in the face and keeps going so does not seem like your employees respect you ow

To me doesn't mean to my face. After that is Astrid. Great. I rolled a three. Give me that oil. Okay, yeah. You get hit by some oil as well. Great. I also roll with advantage on Dex because I can see this happening and

I got a 14 on my dex. Okay, they rolled a 5, so you grab another one successfully. Great. Wait, no, that was my oil dex. Oh, never mind, sorry. So yes, you pass the saving throw. Yes, I do an even cooler dance than Turbine. Don't

Don't look at what Turbine was doing. Impossible. I'm not copying him. I created my own thing. Wow, you can just tell how much money our dance lessons Astrid spent. Just an astronomical amount of money. It really pays off, Astrid. A real clodhopper, but thinks she's really good at ballet.

I'm just seething watching how cool Astrid's dance is. Like, ah, she's so good at everything. You really get a sense for how tall this building is by the fact that you've gotten into a dance fight. Yeah, make your checks. Brenda Elizabeth, just for the record, doesn't dance without a pony. So, you know. Yes. Brenda Elizabeth's just sitting on the pony as the pony's dancing. Okay.

Okay, that first one is a 10. Okay. Oh, it rolled a 3, so you grabbed another one. Great. And then can I use this next roll to grab Tradix? Because he's tiny, right? Like, I have two of these guys. I can just try and grab Tradix.

Ooh, a nat 20. Holy shit. So you're able to grab Tradix. You somehow reach through the air, guided by these monodrons, and are able to snatch up this little guy. I'm not letting you die until I can kill you. Please don't kill me as well. Whoa!

He's got a big monodrone imprint on his forehead. I'll say that since you grabbed him, how many do you have at this point? Three? I have two. Oh, you have two. Okay. So that was another grab. So that's the end of your turn, I believe? Yes. Okay. So you slowed down significantly. I think you would have to grab four now to not take any damage if you're holding Tragedy.

That's fine. I mean, I take half damage anyway. And he didn't have any at this point. Yes. Yeah, it was really sad. It would have been really weird if he just smashed. He just died. Died immediately. As we could have done something. Yeah. Brenda Elizabeth, it's your turn. I rolled a one. You're good. Oh, okay. Yeah. Nothing to report. No pipes or EMPs. Oh, thank God. Okay, then I'm just going to reach out for, I'm going to reach out for another one of these.

A 10 plus a four, 14. It rolled an 18. Maybe I'll use my bardic inspiration. 14, I would have to go- It's a D8. I feel like let's do it. Let's do it. I rolled an eight.

Yes. Hey. Brenda Elizabeth snatches another monodrone out of the air. Can I maybe toss it to Astrid since I caught it, since she's with Tradix? Yes. Let's see what makes sense for that because I think, I don't know, it's guaranteed that she would grab it. Okay. Then I'll, probably I should stay alive to heal people when they get hurt. Cool. So you have three, so you're guaranteed, you at this point are safe. So now the 80s shoulder pads have migrated to being a little crowned

head. Brent Elizabeth fully still. From CEO to monarch. Your hair, your razor thin hair whizzing around the air. This is so dangerous. If my hair got caught in some of these gears, I could get my first haircut of my life and I'm really not looking for that.

That ends the third round. At the start of the fourth round, the elevator platform picks up speed. It's going really, really fast now. It's kind of warbling. It feels like a fucking Transformers movie. It's like a big thing with sparks flying off of it as it gets faster and faster. You look down in time for it to slam into the floor of the lobby and completely shatter the lobby floor. Oh, no. Bits of debris fall.

nap pods, that like old timey guy behind the canteen. Not the old timey guy. Oh, my friend. Essentially falling into a very dangerous, sharp, glass filled ball pit. It's essentially like that, except once it shatters through, it keeps going. Oh no. It shatters through the floor. The sub-basement. Paul's floor? Yes. I've never been in a sub-basement before. Ha ha ha.

Turbine, the obelisk has a basement. No! Start, like, writing scribbling notes. Okay, Turbine, the obelisk has a basement. Record for later. Everyone pay attention to what you're seeing so I can write it down later.

Yeah, you guys are seeing as like this is happening in real time. So it's like nap pods are flying through the air. A painter bot like whizzes by your head, Astrid. Everything is flying around you in almost like slow motion. But as the floor breaks beneath the elevator, you continue to free fall and you continue to fall. But the air pressure has changed now and the air feels like.

and sort of stale. And you look down and you're still falling. You see the elevator platform spinning in the air like a coin and it slams down into something really deep below you, shattering. And that's when you see that the entire ground is glowing with this red surface below it.

You're now deep below the bottom of the obelisk at what must have been the start of the entrance to the mines of the Bonver Mountains. You see endless glowing metallic roots spill out from the obelisk going deeper and deeper, like pulsating with red light. You can't help but remember that sinister voice you heard moments ago hissing about plans that were too far along for you to stop.

And that's what happens at the top of the fourth round. Turbine, it's your turn. All right. I mean, I don't think I have any other choice. It's just like, you know, wiping the soot off my goggles. And I point at one of those stupid fucking Modron. Modron? It's like, I'm coming for you. I reach out for it.

Okay. You have broken through the tunnel. There are no more traps at this point. So yeah, just make a roll. Okay. That's a six. What do you add? Anything? Add anything to that? I already added the things to that. Okay. We'll see what this... How many do you have at this point? One. What? Okay. Oh no. It rolled a four. Okay.

Hell yes. You do a really firm handshake with blood. It's really uncharismatic. It doesn't look very cool. No, it looks pretty cool. You have two at this point. Next up is Tradix. He's on the shoulders of Astrid. He's going to try to make a grab while holding on to you. He rolls a 17.

They both rolled. Let me see what he adds. He's got a Bardic Inspiration, too. Yeah. Oh, then he's going to use that. And with that, he'll automatically pass because they have the same roll. So now you guys have four Asterisks. Great. You are, I think at this point, safe. Brenda, Elizabeth, it is your turn. Okay. I will... I got a 14 to try to grab one. And I don't think there's any way for me to modify that. Roll the 18. Okay. So how many...

How many do you have at this point? I have three. Okay, so you won't take any damage. Astrid only needs four because she had Tradix. Okay. Astrid. Okay, so that's the end of the round. Wait, Tradix. I had two and Tradix just got one. So I've got three. So I should roll to make sure that I get that last one. Apologies. Yeah, yeah. Great. Let's go back to Astrid. Great. That's a nat 20. Woo! Astrid! So yes.

I'm rolling well today. Thank God. This is the first time in the last year that I've rolled well. You look like a balloon salesman at this point. Floating like Mary Poppins. Yes. Dancing. Great. So you have as many as you need. You have one more turn, though, if you want to try to throw onto Turbine. Yes, I will do that. Absolutely. That is a...

Okay. Let's see if you get it. Rolled a 10. So you grab one and you huck it at a turbine. Great. Turbine. I think you're just trying to hit its armor class with an attack. I think that makes sense for this. An attack. Would I use my weapon or? You know what? Maybe let's not change it up for the very end. I think it's just another grapple check. But since she's throwing it at you, it's with disadvantage. Okay, cool. Still cool to use dex? Yes. Cool.

So first roll, that's a 10. Second roll is an 18. So that'll be 10 plus three is 13. Rolled a five. Yes. You got one final one. And since there are no more traps, now that there's no more EMPs or oil falling on you because you've broken through the tunnel, you guys safely float down to the bottom, landing on this sort of endless surface of just two...

- I lock eyes with Astrid and do like a little pirouette as I land, you know, just sort of like finishing off my dance. - I do a double pirouette. I do two of them. - And I just, I spin again. I spin a third time. - I do a backflip. - I try to do a backflip, but I land on my head and it kind of makes a bad cracking sound. - Yes! Yes! - Once again, our team missing the point entirely of what's going on. I start banging the floor. - Yes, I also start banging the floor.

It's really soft. So you're in what should be a dark cave entrance to the mines of the Bonbur Mountains. And you know that going deeper and deeper into the mines is Burmere, the lost dwarven city that Astrid, your family, would be from. You've only ever heard about this because the obelisk came and sealed all of this away 50 years ago. So it's been a really long time. It's very eerie to be down here. Yeah.

You know that it should be dark, but this red light is kind of giving you this under light as you look around this big open cave entrance. You see these tubes of all different kinds. There's like, there's red glowing tubes. There's, there's a few like purple ones. There's some that look like pneumatic tubes. Uh, there's, there's,

It just keeps going further and further into every crevice of this mine. We can all see this, but I am just listing all these. I'm listing all the tubes to everyone. Like a 12-year-old is super excited about Pokemon and is just going on and on about it and giving you way too much information. It's like that, but with tubes for me. That's a real tube, but that's a red tube. That looks like a pneumatic tube. Oh, look at these tubes over here. They don't make tubes like this anymore. Can I just put my hand over Turbine's mouth? Turbine, are any of them male tubes? Are any of them male tubes? Yes.

Roll an insight check. That is 16. Okay. No. Can I do a perception check on them using my smith knowledge? I have smith tools. Does that give you a proficiency to anything? I think it adds proficiency to insight. Oh, right, right. Yeah, so use your proficiency and roll to see if that makes any sense to you. I got a lower thing on insight. This time I got a 10. Okay.

Okay. You don't really know... You know that it's a similar technology to the more advanced stuff you saw in the obelisk. A lot of the tubes are made of metal, but it's kind of like this weird grown metal. It doesn't feel man-made, if that makes sense. This would look incredible in the hotel. They feel like veins. Ooh. Can we... Is it clear which way the...

the liquid inside them is flowing? A lot of them are flowing in different directions, but everybody make a perception check. 19. Ted? I got an 18. You hear muffled screams and you look around and you notice it sounds quieter than it should be and you see what looks like... Guys, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is there's screams. The good news is they're muffled. Ha ha ha!

You see a body going through a tube, screaming, and it is...

A familiar looking form. Oh no. As it goes in and out of these like endlessly tangled network of tubes. You see it pop up and then go back under and then kind of pop up again. Like a dolphin. Is that Brenda Elizabeth's boyfriend? It looks a lot like him. Oh, I guiding bolt the tube to try to break it. Okay. You can try to guiding bolt it. It may not break. Make an insight check first. Okay. Okay.

Uh, but its side is 15. Okay, it just feels like, uh, too thick to actually break the side of it. Um, you feel like even if you could cut into it right here, it would take too long and you would lose the person in there. Okay, well, maybe we should follow it. Mm-hmm. Okay. I, uh, horse gallop towards where it's going.

Yeah. Tradix is like, I didn't, I just want to be clear that I had no idea that all of this shit was down here. Brenda Elizabeth is going to turn around in this space where the soil clearly has never been touched by hooves. She feels, she feels anger. And she grabs him by the throat. She says, what are you doing with my boyfriend? I mean, not my boyfriend. Yeah, what are you doing with her boyfriend? Yeah, what are you doing with her boyfriend?

I, I, I, I'm not, I want to be as clear as possible. I am not doing anything at all. I had no idea that this was down here. And I, if I'm being completely honest, I think I've been made a fool. So you were just throwing children down tubes and just not asking where they were going.

Yeah, that's Tubecraft 101. You gotta know where those tubes lead. You can't just throw things in tubes. I haven't even taken Tubecraft 101, and I know that. Yeah, look, what you're talking about is one of the first tenets of Tubecraft, but I gotta admit that I got a little lazy with it. And I did tell them to... I don't know what's going on, but I think Bubbles is not who I thought he was. And I think that...

I don't know. I feel like I... So you're blaming the robot. Blaming the robot. Typical. Well, he's got a brain in there. I don't know that I should give you my whole backstory right now. It's a doozy. It's a little complicated at the moment. But I'll just say that, yes, I was pretending to be a Barnabas because...

This place had a long list of Barnabases that led this place. And I don't really...

He holds up his like little amulet and you can tell that he's pretty fucking sad. Okay. Well, Brenda Elizabeth ponders this, but only for a brief second because time is of the essence and she knows it's time to become that which she doodles and she shakes out her stringy maid and pursues where she saw her boyfriend, but not boyfriend in the tube. Okay. These tubes are going to all different caverns, but you think you can pinpoint it down to this one, this one pathway where it seemed like that.

that body was going down. Do you guys want to sneak or are you just running at full speed? What I'd like to do, this is Bonk that we're following. Bink, Bonk. You can't tell. There's a blur. A twin and a tube. Then where did the other twin go? What if we're going after Bink? That'd be so embarrassing. I have no interest in Bink.

Everybody hates Bink. I'd like to cast Locate Object on Bink on

or if I'm not allowed to cast it on a person, on the money that I gave them to get into the festival the first thing. Oh my God. And to locate the object of my coins that I gave them and use that to track where they're going. And then we could be a little more stealthy but still know where they're going. I'm sorry to do this. Yeah. But if I remember correctly, you just paid for them. So you never gave them money. Paid to give them wristbands, though, to get in, presumably. Ooh, yes. Ooh. Yes. Yes.

Just because I've listened back to it several times. It seemed like the language of it was that you went to the... I didn't give it to them. But maybe you could just do it on their shirt because you interact with them. Sure. It felt more fun and circular to justify my bullshit. I just don't want to get called on it. Sure, sure. That's fine. Well, in any case, I'd like to cast Locate Object on something that... Who are we going to follow? Bink or Bonk?

Bonk. Bonk. That's what Ashford said anyways. Bonk has like a little bit of a clip on his, has a little rat tail with a clip on it. Great. I'll locate an object on his greasy little rat tail clip. That's kind of a euphemism for what I've done with it.

Now I can... What was it? If the object is in motion, you know the direction of its movement. You can sense the direction of the object's location as long as that object is within a thousand feet of us. And yes. Okay. So you feel it going in that direction. Okay.

Since I know kind of where it's going, I'm going to kind of like be a little cautious when I'm entering, going down these tunnels since I don't need to worry about keeping up with it. Brenda Elizabeth is probably not thinking clearly, but if someone were to say, hey, we should stealth, I could pass without trace on us. Cool. I mean, I think there's no harm in doing that. Okay. Then, since I'm still in my dragon form, I will have advantage on...

My concentration checks, so that's dice. Cool. Hell yeah. It's just dressage. You're like tiptoeing as a horse. Still wearing my crown of monodrones. Tranix looks at Turbine. He's like, you're just so cool. I feel like I wish I was like you when I was your age. I wish I was like, well, I mean, I've learned a lot about you recently. Ahem.

Astrid, are you okay? What? Astrid, thank you for saving me. You're welcome. If we get out of this, I'll give you a bunch of money, I think. As a minimum. As a minimum, you'll give me a bunch of money. Right. Yeah. That makes sense. You guys...

Continue to sneak down these tubes. Sneak gallop. A classic sneak gallop. Sneak gallop. Brenna was with sneak galloping. Astrid and Turbine sort of dancing. So you followed the screams as they get louder and louder into what looks like

an open cave door that's a more hollowed out area that looks like it could be a laboratory. There's tons of spare Warforged parts and piles of robotic arms and legs and some heads and just generally broken down machine parts in the corner. You see the exit of the tube that Bink was in, fortunately it wasn't Bob, fall out into... It almost looks like a slide in a play place. Just...

slip out into like this larger vat of goop and within that larger vat you see several humanoid forms like kind of like against the glass trying to like free themselves but like they can't they don't have any purchase on this like glass wall they're just kind of slipping around and you see one huge form in there but you kind of can't really tell what it is and again this glass like when we see this we kind

can assume that this glass is too difficult for us to break there's no point in trying to break it and break them free yeah it seems like pretty impenetrable okay you also see nearby like to the right of these this glass tank a few bodies tied down to slabs uh unconscious or unmoving you can't really tell what's going on you also see a form standing over a table working on something and

You can't see them, but they have like a cloak on and they're being assisted by this like Warforged robot. They wear like a purple hooded robe. At first glance, it almost looks human. But as you listen on, like you can hear these like whirring noises. It also seems to be a Warforged robot.

Thanks for listening. Don't forget to get all new episodes months early and hear the exclusive art barks over on our Patreon. Zach Oyama was your Dungeon Master for this episode, and the characters were Emily Axford playing Brenda Elizabeth, Mike Trapp was Turbine Spizzles Inc, and Siobhan Thompson is Astrid Starborn. This episode was edited and produced by Zach Oyama and Jasper William Cartwright. Bye! Bye!