Welcome to Tip Check
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I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.

at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, WeAreGolden.

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The three ladies are together again. Hey, ladies, I'm Sam Sanders. I'm Saeed Jones. And I'm Zach Stafford. And you are listening to Vibe Check, Post NOLA Edition. ♪♪

Reunited and it feels so good. I sang, Saeed. We got you back. I missed you, friend. You were just out in them streets for a week. How was it? Woo, child. It was an experience. I'll save it for my chicken. Okay, okay. So we got a lot of vibes to check this week.

But before we get to that, I want to tell our listeners a bit about what this show is going to be about this episode. Got a lot to talk about. You know, I'm surprised that we haven't gotten to this topic yet because I think about it all the time. Our first topic is titflation. You know it. You feel it. It's driving you crazy. Why is it here? Where did it come from? What do we do with it? I'm going to talk about that. And then, because February...

We're going to talk about Black History Month and why it always feels so weird to me and how it's been commodified and how I and other black folks should move through this month with intention, whatever that means. So many questions. We'll have answers. All that's ahead. But first, how are my sisters feeling? Saeed, we start with you. Well, so yeah, so I was just in New Orleans for a week with

with some of my Columbus girls, my neighbors. We always hang out, and we decided to take a group trip, which was always fun. It felt like there were actually three vacations in one. Was that good or bad? Well, so I arrived the night before Fat Tuesday, so I kind of crashed. Literally, coming from the airport, I haven't even dropped off my luggage, and I was already seeing parades, and we were already kind of having to navigate that. So

To get to where I was staying with my friends. And I will tell you, Fat Tuesday, the first third of the trip, I would say just incredible. I've been going to New Orleans a couple of times a year for over a decade now. To me, it is no longer some mythic, symbolic. I'm like, it's a place. It's the southern city that in the last decade I've had the richest, most contemporary relationships.

with and I'm really grateful for that but I haven't gone to Mardi Gras. Wow. It is revelry. Was I doing a tequila shot at 7 o'clock in the damn morning on a Tuesday? Yes, I was. Yes, I was. The two people dressed as glittery, bedazzled Costco employees walking around carrying samples of blue jello shots. Give me one at like 9 o'clock in the morning. Yes. But also I think what I learned is that

There's a Puritanism in terms of how our country talks about Mardi Gras. I found myself wanting to push back. It's creative. It's joyful. So many of the things we talk about on the podcast about third spaces, community, really living with the people around us come together for Mardi Gras because ultimately what it is is it's a community celebration with like a really rich history. That was great. But then part two-

Okay. I, of course, had to work. And working in the middle of vacation is very strange. I stressed myself out so much that I made myself sick. Because that's something that I – that's one of my secret superpowers. So then I spent the whole last three or four days literally just in bed. Sick, unfortunately. I'm sorry. So it was – It's a lot. We went through it all. It was Saeed's Divine Comedy. Okay.

Well, we are so glad you're back. We missed you. It's funny. Last week in your absence, we were like, yes, I eat in New Orleans and me just being selfish because I love everything you write. I'm like, what if we just made say in New Orleans long enough to write a book? They could give me a book assignment. What the hell is going on?

Imagine the gothic vibes. Imagine. Imagine. Anywho, Zach, what's your vibe? My vibe is good. I'm very, very cheerful, feeling loved. I loved all the emails and DMs people sent me after last week's episode where I disclosed my anxiety around birthdays and being people pleasing and needing

to plan but also wanting to hide so many of you were Pisces so many of you wrote in saying you felt similar people were tweeting about it and I love that being seen feels good sometimes for the right thing feels good and then I spent the weekend with my family my sister my brother-in-law my mom my stepdad they all and Craig we all went up to Santa Barbara and did a weekend and it was very chill looking fresh out of a catalog by the way I was like this is gorgeous

Also, Zach's fast ass hiking in short shorts. I was like, yes, man. Go get it. Go get it. Listen, I got a man. I'm keeping a man. Yeah. Yeah.

I was in Santa Barbara saying, y'all, look. So, yes. So, yes. No, something that you should know if you follow me on social media, whenever I'm with my sister, who's one of the closest people to me in my life. Who we love. Who we love. She's a ride or die vibe check listener. Everything around her has to be so beautiful all the time. And she brings a camera. Including her man. She brings many cameras. Yeah.

including her man. Everything is so stunning. So that like, even when we're packing, it is a stressful packing experience. Cause you're like, you're like, what am I going to wear? What am I going to wear? What is she going to post? How many times are you going to post? And she does. And it looks so good. Um, and she has such a, like a very tight aesthetic. Anyway, it was just such a beautiful, like, you know, in terms of sentiment of coming down, spending time with me, then photographing it and getting me a cake, but Oh, what I will share.

The most LA thing happened to us there. My sister goes and picks up a birthday cake for me. She brings it, brings it to the house, has my name on it. She's like, it's red velvet. I remember you making red velvet. And I'm hyped for this. As a kid, I used to make red velvet cupcakes a lot.

We serve it, and they give me the first bite. And you know that moment where everyone's looking to you to be like, oh, it's so good. It's so great. I take a bite, and I go, hmm. Was it bad? And she was like, interesting. Interesting? Why is it interesting? Yeah. It was like spiraling. I was like, no, just everyone take a bite and let me know. It's good, but something's off. We all start sitting around. Everyone's like, something's off. Come to find out, she went to a gluten-free bakery. Remember that was gluten-free? Yeah.

Yeah, there was like some lesson in this that like when we figured out it was a gluten-free cake, it was better. But when we thought it was a regular cake, it was worse. So I don't know. Take something out of that life about when you know it's better. Yeah. I also feel like – and I have no shade or shame to those dealing with gluten issues. But truth be told –

There's actually a small portion of Americans who actually have a gluten allergy, and the rest of folks are just, you know, wanting to be a part of this movement. Fine. But I do think you should disclose to people when the gluten's not there because we're so used to tasting it. I feel like in the same way that you would tell a vegetarian if the broth had a ham hock in it, tell me if it's gluten-free. Tell me. I will shade this. I will. First, because you pointed out that it's actually a very small number, so I feel a little more comfortable. Exactly.

demographic. I just won't check emails for a week. My thing is that one of my favorite restaurants in Columbus, it's called Commune. It's a wonderful restaurant and it's a vegan restaurant. But you go going in. Yeah, you go going in. But the other thing is the food is good and they don't try to recreate other types of cuisines.

Let a vegetable be a vegetable. That's my issue with anything, whether it's gluten or non-alcoholic. It irritates me when people are trying to recreate the other thing. You know what I mean? I'm just like, do your own. It's like turning all these vegetables into hamburger patties. I could just eat vegetables. I could just eat vegetables. Anywho. I will say, sometimes I love gluten-free. There's some gluten-free tortillas. I'll find the name for the next episode. I think they're better than regular tortillas. But let me know. Let me know.

The not knowing leads to me distressing my entire family who thinks they failed me. Oh, right. Interesting. Distressing. Oh, my goodness. I know Monet was stressed out. Oh, she was. Like everything, the blood left her face. She was just like, no. She's like, I'm too light skinned for you to be making me look this pale. Like, what's going on? Do you like the cake or not? I can't. Wow. Wow. Well, Sam, how are you doing?

You know, I had a funky last week, and I'll be honest as to why. Last week was Valentine's Day, so already. But Valentine's Day is also my mother's birthday. So it was my first Valentine's Day without her. And after my father died when I was 18, every year after that, my brother and I would get my mother a dozen red roses and a box of Russell Stover chocolates because she loved that.

So this was the first year in which I didn't get that for her. So having a weird week, I was angry about stuff, sad about stuff, this and that about stuff. But I remember something that Zach said in last week's episode that stuck with me and stuck with me even more because we had a few listeners write in to comment on how much they love the grace and wisdom Zach puts into everything he says on this show.

But there was a thing that Zach said twice that kind of just guided me through a very tough week. Zach, you said, when I think about how I want to move through the world. And then you said, how do I want to move through the world? And I said, whoa.

I could do that. In general, I think a lot of us are just moving through the world and coping later. And to hear Zach say, stop, take a beat, and think about how you want to move through the world. I've just been saying that to myself the last week, and it helps me when I'm feeling angry or sad or worked up. It makes me stop, take a breath.

and look at myself and my choices just with intention. So it's been a bomb. I've been walking around this house saying, how do I want to move through the world? And it's been quite helpful. And so I want to just testify in conjunction with our listeners who wrote in, you know, the wisdom and the grace present in the way you talk, Zach. It really is helpful. And it was very helpful to me last week. So that's my vibe. That means the world to me, but it also is confusing for my brain to hear because you have been in my head for the past week.

with what you said last week in the show where you said something to the effect of the first thing that we should focus on with everything is knowing what you want and knowing what you want is the thing that will should guide you which feels similar to yeah move through the world is kind of taking a breath and checking in and using that data that is your body your body knows if you listen to it and like listening to your body and then doing the thing that it's telling you is yes knowing what you want and knowing how to move through the world so i think we're both in conversation with each

We both are pulling from that energy this week. Well, listen, I am so grateful to have the two of y'all here with me on this journey and our listeners too. I think, I mean, and I've said this before, I am always so heartened to see how my talking about grief allows others to do it. And it just helps us all. So the fact that we can keep having these conversations with intention, I am honored to be a part of this space.

I'm honored. And to add to that, because I'm just so grateful for both of your generosities on the show and our listeners' generosities, the way in which the show's become a place of refuge and sharing for folks.

but it does make me think about, you know, just this week we had Kimberly drew on, on Monday and that conversation, if you haven't heard it yet is about softness, soft life, having soft life around you. And it's kind of what we're talking about here is like, how do you like in moments of hardness, soften yourself and find peace in that and move forward. So if you're looking for some more conversations, like the one you just heard in the past five minutes, check that out, check our grief episode with Sam. There's a lot here, but we're, we're out here doing the work together all

We out here, baby. We out here. Yes. All right. Before we get into this episode, I want to thank all of you for checking out the show. You can listen to more Vibe Check every week on Amazon Music, and you can catch some of your other Stitcher faves there as well.

And of course, big shout out to all of you who send us fan mail. We do read it. I've taken to just like screen grabbing some of them and passing out to the group chat. I like it. I like it. Anywho, keep reaching out. Also on social media. We love to hear from you. Keep the emails coming to vibecheckatstitcher.com. Vibecheckatstitcher.com. With that, let's jump in, shall we? ♪

All right, listeners, let's dive into our first topic, which is tiplation. If you're not catching what that means, tiplation means inflation regarding tipping culture. It's a little fun jargony. Yeah, and I'm going to jump in here. This...

Has this term – It's new. It's new. It's maybe a year old. It's maybe a year old. I've heard it before. All right. Don't act like I just wasn't paying attention that week in high school economics. Not high school economics. It surfaced like in the last year or so because it coincided with the inflation conversation. Yeah, exactly. And the shrinkflation, which Biden even brought up about you're getting – you're paying more for less, all of that. But we're seeing a lot of new PRing around economics right now.

now that is really confusing. But today we're going to speak very plainly about one issue. And that is we all are, it feels like we're tipping more, whether we are or not is up to you. And that's what we're going to dive into. But it feels like we're being asked to tip more because you are so

So over the weekend, the internet was ablaze with people discussing tipping culture. And sure, it's been a topic for a long time now. I think ever since I was a kid, I've been talking to people about tipping, when you do it, when you don't, all of that. However, this weekend really hit a fever pitch when a user on TikTok named AntiDietPilot posted a TikTok discussing how she experienced

confidently, I don't know, insert an adjective there, share that she did not tip her hairstylist who did her braids for over seven hours. She just paid her a fee. Oh, you're playing with fire. She just said, you know what? That's part of your fee. So listen here to a quick clip of her defending herself. I did not tip the girl who did my braids yesterday, and this was the first time I haven't tipped to get my hair done, and I was fueled with anxiety, especially when I hand her over the cash and she starts counting it, and I was like, oh!

I just did not feel like tipping was necessary on the service. For reference, this was $350 to get done. These are small, knotless, and this is a French curl braid. That averages out, took her seven and a half hours, $46 an hour.

Minus the cost of hair. So we'll just round it down to $40 an hour. She didn't have to commute She's not paying any extra overhead because she works from home. I think that that's a really good price How many people are making $40 an hour? I want to also add that I have to go to the ATM which is the most inconvenient method of payment to go get the exact amount of cash that I need for the appointment I also had to come wash conditioned and blow-dried and I was the one that had to do the commute

muted. This is no shade, no tea, no nothing. This was the most comfortable braiding experience I've ever gotten. She was the best braider I've ever had and I will definitely be going back to her. A lot of people say tipping is how you say thank you, but to me saying thank you is how you say thank you. Respecting people's policies, arriving to your appointment on time, being respectful of the space that you're in, letting them take photos of their work after, and maybe telling your friends or if you have a social media following.

That to me is how you say thank you. We don't need to bump someone's $40 an hour work up to 45 to say thank you. Sue me, sue me. Who wants to go first?

Listeners before anyone goes, we playing the clip, I got to watch everyone's faces and I thought knives were being pulled. Electricity was shaking. It was just, yeah. So go, what did you girls think of that? Saeed, you go, you go, you go. Okay. I think tipping is actually pretty complicated. There's a lot going on there in terms of labor. And I hope we get, we're able to get into the different nuances of the broader conversation. Okay.

I'm going to try to use my words very nicely. But this person, that's what I'm going to leave it. This person, and y'all can go ahead and insert whatever epitaph you want to use, listener, based on your personal identity, is so disrespectful.

First of all, a red flag to me when we're talking about labor, the moment someone goes, you know, I work at a nurse in a hospital and I heard that airline flight attendants are agitating or, you know, striking to get paid more money. And I found out they made this and I make this. I don't like that. The moment we're comparing salaries, we've already lost. We all should get more. Yeah. Yeah.

Two, that is not how you say thank you. It's not about saying thank you. It's not. Tipping to me is a recognition of another aspect of their service. I would say since we've been talking about softness, it's about the soft aspects of a lot of versions of labor where it's not just you cook the food and set it on the table. It's about interaction, bedside manner, all of these other qualities that are really important to the service. So it's actually not the same as tipping.

Being polite. You should be polite for the sake of being polite. Politeness is not compensation. I'll stop there. I'm about to. Ooh, I'm seeing colors. I'm seeing colors. Let's not act like the wage she's getting per hour is the end of her financial equation for running a small business out of her home. So if she runs a small business out of her home, on top of buying the hair, she has to –

keep her home clean on a regular basis for every client. She has to possibly keep her home in compliance with laws that mandate how you get to do people's hair in your own home. She probably has special equipment in her home to help do the hair. She probably has to do clean up and set up before and after every client. And here's another thing, dear listeners.

She is an independent contractor working from home. That means she's buying her own health insurance. I'm ready to fight this person. She is doing so much on her own.

Her own. And to do some quick math, you know, if you're just being, we're not going to get into the details of accounting, but just off face value, that 350 bucks that you gave her becomes half of that. What, 175? It's taxed. She's taxed at that. Yes. So this is, so anyway, that's like a whole, to your point, there's a whole holistic way of thinking of,

A small business owner, freelancer economies in this. Yes. The other thing, when you get – like when I get my locks done and my hair is, y'all know, fairly short at this point still. Five hours. Yeah. Five hours is a very fast day. So the idea of someone sitting with you, bent over you, their hands in your scalp for five to seven hours. And here's the thing.

For five to seven hours, they're also laughing at your shitty jokes and listening to you complain about your boyfriend that they don't care about. They're doing emotional labor too. And so to tell me after all of that, you can't even tip $10 on $3.50. You already got $3.50 at the ATM. Calm us down, Zach, because I'm literally the longer I have to think about this.

I'm so mad. This is going to be peak and do not cancel me, everyone, for being diplomatic. But I want to maybe contextualize this TikTok users, their resentment towards the tipping expectation they're facing. So currently, they do say this is a first time. I'm rocking like an old lady. You really are. I'm about to start church humming.

So to put this all into context, this post, this TikTok creator, this is the first time ever. And we can assume they've been getting their hair done their whole life. And they look in the mid to late 20s. I don't want to guess ages, but they've been around for some decades. That means for decades, hopefully they have been tipping. And this is the first time. What they're speaking to in this moment is that a lot of people are feeling tipping fatigue. Why tipping fatigue is a new thing and why we're talking about it today is that tip

Tipping has been around for a while. However, the culture that we live in where tipping is expected at every point of sale is very new. I did some research into my own writing. And in 2015 at The Guardian, I was assigned to write about the emergence of iPads at

coffee shops and how that created this boom in tipping that led to sometimes all of us being asked to tip 50 to 75% of the product. So you get a $4 coffee. It was very common that you were asked to start at $1, $2, $3. So you were paying as much. Yes. Go ahead. And this is the thing because it's like, this is how they deceive you.

At first, it seemed like all the little options were like 18%, 20%, 22%. But now you get something that's $1, $2, $5. It's not percentages. And if you got a bottle of water and you tip a dollar on a bottle of water, you could be tipping 50% or 75%. It's wild. I was having a lot of anxiety about this for a while, and then finally I was like, I cannot feel guilt.

If I don't tip on a bottle of water, I don't tip on a bottle of water. Fight me. I just can't do it. I want to tip when I need to tip, but there's some things I will say I don't think we should be tipping. And we don't talk about how all of these little iPads are – they are serviced by companies like Square.

Square gets a cut of everything, even the tip. So part of your tip is going to these companies that have nothing to do with the actual transaction of services. No, you're exactly right. And that's what the issue with the rise of the technology. The Atlantic has a really great piece called, it's called Tipping is Weird Now, and it's a

about technology has made tipping culture so weird to where you're like, I need to tip on everything, but it's not even about why we began tipping in the first place. So there's two parts of why we tipped to Cite's point. One was, you know, point of service, you know, you talk to someone, interact with them, you pay them because they're doing more labor than just the caring that they're with you or however.

But the other part of this is economical. A lot of workers are getting paid $2 an hour, something very small, and this is supposed to— And the tips to get the more hourly wages. Exactly. Yeah, and I think where we are getting angry, and rightfully so, is I think the larger systemic issue here. That is, why is it on us as consumers to pick up the slack where government—

Why businesses should be taking care of employees? Why is it always on to us to make the money, then spend the money, then take care of all these people? And that's a bigger macro issue. But I think here on Vibe Check, we live soft lives. We care about people. And we very much advocate for tipping when you can, even if you feel like— And when you need to. Yeah. I've been bald for 12 years. I know who to tip, the person who braids your hair.

And at Rocket Times. I'm sorry. Just common sense. Yeah, that's the other thing. It's like people presumably that you're going back to for a service and thus you're maintaining a relationship. A very personal service. There are all kinds of reasons. One thing that I would suggest that I've started doing recently is I've started carrying cash on me, especially when I'm travel-

Because I don't trust these apps and these iPads. And it's so funny. And it's a whole story. It is going to appear in some work that I'm slowly working on behind the scenes for my next book. But I had a Lyft driver in New Orleans ask me, he was like, how much are they charging you for this drive to the airport? And I was going through the app and it was like $30, $40. And he was like, they're paying me $14.

And so we've heard about that. There have been strikes, and I think the drivers refused to go to the Atlanta airport at one point recently during the holidays in protest of this. And he's a great driver, and we have a whole story that's unfolding. But I carry cash because I was so happy I had it on hand, so I could give him $20 when I got out of the Lyft. I still tipped him in the app, mind you. But I also think it's like –

Maybe if the idea of perfunctory or whatever you want to call it, tipping is getting too much, maybe make a point of becoming more thoughtful and proactive about tipping other people proactively in the wrong way. Also, just to wrap it up because we've got to move on. Well, one, tell us your thoughts on tipping, listeners. Write in. I'm curious. I want to talk about this for a long time. But two, always remember the ability to ask questions about how much you should tip and

is a privilege. It means you have enough money to tip and it means that you have enough money to engage in a service that requires tipping. You're already blessed. You're already blessed. And for the rest of you ungrateful bastards, traction alopecia. Traction alopecia.

All right. Well, with that lively conversation, we need to take a quick break to let Saeed and Sam breathe. I'm fanning myself off. Get some air. And while they do that, you stay right there. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.

This message is brought to you by McDonald's. Did you know only 7.3% of American fashion designers are Black? Well, McDonald's 2024 Change Leaders Program is ready to change the face of fashion. The innovative program awards a monetary grant to five emerging Black American designers and pairs each with an industry professional to help them elevate their brands.

I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.

at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, WeAreGolden.

Here's an HIV pill dilemma for you. Picture the scene. There's a rooftop sunset with fairy lights and you're vibing with friends. You remember you've got to take your HIV pill. Important, yes, but the fun moment is gone. Did you know there's a long-acting treatment option available? So catch the sunset and keep the party going. Visit pillfreehiv.com today to learn more. Brought to you by Veve Healthcare.

All right, my loves, we are back. I've sipped some tea.

Drink some water. And since we're going to take a Black History Month turn, I would suggest to that TikTok user an excellent article in the New York Times by Michelle Alexander titled, Tipping is a Legacy of Slavery. That's a little taste of Black History Month maybe that person should get into. This is me trying to be Saeed the teacher because Saeed was ready to whoop some ass about a smooth five minutes ago. Yeah.

But we wanted to talk about Black History Month because, I mean, not just because it's February, but also because our feelings about it are dynamic, changing, and fluid. And so I'm excited to talk to my two friends both about our relationship to Black History Month kind of growing up, in school, you know, the standout memories, the moments, good and bad. And then also particularly, I would argue, since 2020. Yeah.

which was a real turning point for a lot of reasons regarding history, politics, and power, maybe our feelings about Black History Month have changed. And I would say rightfully so. But to start, Zach, let's start with you. What was your relationship to Black History Month coming up? What was baby Zach doing out in Tennessee in February? It's,

what's my birthday month. So I was like, Ooh, black history month, my birthday, all these things. You're welcome. You're welcome everybody. But where I was raised, they were not feeling very much grateful for this month. So my school was very, very white. And I, my most vivid memories around things like MLK day, black history month is to this day. Um,

Moments where very country boys in my class would be like, well, if you get this, today's General E. Lee Day. And they would always try to bring up some Confederate symbol as a pushback. And there were times I had teachers that also supported this. So there was like this balancing and then you'd hear the constant, well, why isn't there a White History Month? And I didn't have the language at the time to say, well, all the other months are White History Month. But there was a lot of confrontation there. However, this one memory that comes to mind

very vividly to me is from second grade, I believe. And I had a black teacher and she was doing a Black History Month lesson. And I don't know how Kwanzaa came up, but Kwanzaa came up. And then every white kid in my class from there on out thought I celebrated Kwanzaa because I was black and she was black. And I didn't even know Kwanzaa was. Here's the secret. No one celebrates Kwanzaa. No one celebrates Kwanzaa. Very true.

Very few people. Very few people. But to summarize, I think Black History Month for me was always this thing where white people were finding things out and they would look to me like,

don't you know this already? And I was like, I don't know this. I'm also learning the history because it's not taught to us. So that was for me. So it's like that moment. And I certainly, you know, growing up in the suburbs of North Texas where you kind of get to the Civil War chapter, the fact that it was like a chapter of U.S. history. And you can just like feel the white kid slowly turning. What do you think? I wasn't there. Like, what do you want me to say? Sam, what was it like for you coming out? So,

I had a fairly positive experience with Black History Month. So both of my parents were educators. My father had been one for a long time before retiring. And my mother was a teacher and middle school principal. And they always made it a point to have us around black stuff for Black History Month. Our churches were always all black. And my father was involved in the community. So I remember as a kid going with him to Black History Month events. And my parents were pretty real about it. They even had a rule that

In our house, there was only black art. It was like you'll see black people having fun on the wall. So it was very pro-black. But I realized in adulthood, oh, my God, all this Black History Month stuff that I was being bombarded with, it was just surface and it was, dare I say, trite. You know, it was like George Washington Carver used peanuts to make stuff. I remember that. But I didn't find out until he was grown that that man was gay.

I wish they would have told me that. He was also a fucking jerk, but that's another conversation. That's a personal historic right with me. And so I realized, even though I was bombarded with what felt like enriching Black History Month content, it was all very surface and after-school specialist, special-ish. So I've been, in adulthood, trying to rethink what an education around those figures might be. I've also been saying, in adulthood—

What do I want Black History Month to be for me, like, personally? Like, personally. And Brandon mentioned this in one of our group chats or a conversation about this conversation topic. But, like, he's been noticing and I've been noticing and doing myself just, like, gathering my black friends together, gathering us together to play games or hang out or eat and drink.

And like with no intention, but just to be around our black presences in the black present. I like that a lot. I've also been doing stuff where it's just like, huh, how can I make this moment in this month mine? So I grew up hearing the black national anthem everywhere all the time each February. And I realized this year I've never played it myself on my saxophone. Is it hard to play? What's it like playing it?

It is a very complex song, but I've heard it so much it's kind of already beat into me. It's very long, and if you want to be a purist, you have to sing all three verses. Like, purists say you sing it all. But I've been playing it here at the house, and it just feels so good to hear that music in the house. And Wesley the puppy, when I get to the middle of the song, he starts to howl along with me. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this is what I want Black History Month to be like. Personal. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. I did not know that. Wow. So cool. Yeah.

You know, I had a relative when I was pretty young get me some art for my bedroom, my teenage bedroom. And so I grew up sleeping under a poster of black buffalo soldiers. Hell yeah. And I remember this relative telling me, you know, it was important –

It was important for her, for me to understand that we're living in Texas, we're out West and getting to Beyonce, the history that she's tapping into, right? Country music, for example, comes from black people. Texas, as a kid, it just felt so white. It was such a, like during the Bush years, it was an oppressive, all the iconography of

was about whiteness, manifest destiny. And she was like, we've been out here too. And she was like- The first cowboys were black. Yeah, there were black cowboys. There were black soldiers. There were black people building alliances with indigenous communities. Like that was very much kind of what I was raised about. And so kind of getting that sense of

This might not come up in class, but we're going to talk about it at home was really important to me. But Zach, to your point, at school, it fucking sucked. And especially if you're a black kid who is a good public speaker or good in English class. Next thing you know, you're on stage reciting the I Have a Dream speech or Paul Lawrence Dunbar's We Wear the Mask. And they never read the whole I Have a Dream speech.

Never did the whole thing. Right, in front of an audience of mostly white people and you're like, ah. So yeah, I think for a lot of us, it's, you know, and surprise, things are complicated. I think-

Black History Month is personal, when it is oriented in particularly loved ones explaining to us why it's important to them and what they're trying to pass on to us, it registers in one way. When instead it becomes something that's literally being directed by white school leaders or even more recently corporations, it changes. Yeah. I want to go there. And I know we've been texting about this. Yeah.

You know, it feels like particularly something is in the air this year with Black History Month or not in the air. You know, we talked last Pride Month about how a lot of corporations are pulling out of their pride spending. I think we're kind of seeing the same thing happen with Black History Month.

And I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing, but I will say I've seen this kind of arc in 2020 and the protests and the uprisings and the aftermath of George Floyd's death and the rise of DEI. It felt like everyone was there for it.

And then there's been this pushback against critical race theory and now this pushback against DEI. And these big companies and corporate players that used to spend money on Black History Month, it seems as if they're doing it less. And at first I'm like, I don't like that. But then I want to say, I don't care about those corporations anyway. Black History Month should be mine. But I have noticed it, and I wonder how y'all feel about that. Because we are in a very anti-DEI moment this February. I mean, I would say...

- For the past few years, I've seen a deep decline in spend from corporations. And I've even heard it from the agencies like CAA, UTA, WME. Like they're not seeing as much business come in to book people during these months

Because I think political tensions are also rising simultaneously. But there was an era where so many people, myself included, made a good amount of money during February and June with corporate backings. You'd go speak at the corporations, you would do the tap dancing. And at first, you know, for me personally, I was like, this is so great. I'm being brought in because of my work and I'm getting to talk. And I still like love doing that when a

But there were times when it was a Black History Month event that you would come into these rooms and it was mostly all white people and they were just like kind of gawking at you and needing you to like

Tell them some truth to help change their lives and make them see Black History Month different, that it just felt like a bit gross. So I've kind of enjoyed this month. I've done zero. We've got a break. Yeah, I've not done any corporate engagements this month, and it's been great. And I've got to just be in my body and think about it in a more personal way because I think whenever capitalism mixes into anything –

And it gets like when we see like the Black History Month products, I'm like, what is going on? Who is this for? It's funny because the week before the pandemic started in February 2020 was one of the busiest travel weeks of my life for the reason that Zach is talking about. I remember I had appearances that February in one week, Kalamazoo, Michigan, San Antonio, Texas, and Washington, D.C.,

All events, and I had a book out, but it was all kind of linked in subtle and unsubtle ways to Black History Month. And listen, I was well compensated for my appearances. I didn't know we were about to go into a pandemic that meant I wouldn't be doing any appearances for the next year and a half. Glad you got the checks. To be very grateful, yeah. And also I'm just like, I've learned...

You can turn poison into medicine. I'm like, okay, the circumstances that brought this event may be what they are, but once I walk into that room, I walk into that room and I'm in control. So yeah, there's a way to, in certain instances, kind of make an event worthwhile. But it's a weird energy. But I think you're absolutely right. I think, and we've seen this, and look, I'm not trying to...

centered the Ivy League Bill Ackman drama because that feels like actually a very intentional and violent distraction from what's going on in Gaza. That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing. They're pulling focus. Well, and it's also a distraction from the reality for most American college-age students. For most students, it's hard to just afford community college. They're not worried about the Ivy League, you know? Right. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. But beyond that, I will say, obviously, there is a connection from DEI—

to affirmative action. Um, I would say, you know, just like another examples, a lot of, um, and though this isn't directly about black history month, I think it's about the culture in which the holidays arriving now, a lot of organizations, universities and companies, you know, created, uh,

DEI initiatives, hired people, put people in, put black people in charge of positions. And it was like the first black CEO of this, the first black, you know, all those first, first, first. And then you see, it's like as easy it is for them to set it up. It's just as easy two or three years later for them to knock them down. I don't feel cynical about black history month. I think, um,

I've changed my orientation. I think about – and part of this is as an artist, and obviously I write about history a lot in my work. I think about the archive. I'm trying to have a personal deep – and that's why I think about – I actually have a lot of issues with this family member who gave me the painting of the Black Buffalo Soldiers. But I love that someone who took part in raising me understood the power of a Black child looking up every night before he started to dream.

at three black Buffalo soldiers, you know, at that dignity, at that history. I love that someone understood that that's an important constellation in which to locate a child you're raising. And that to me is the potential of black history month or pride month or women's history month, you know, Asian Pacific history month. You know, I think that,

The irony is when we emphasize the media aspect, the representation aspect, that can be easily commodified. And like I said, you know, to be commodified is to be counted and to be counted is often to be used.

Yeah. Well, and it's like I keep thinking about this year's Black History Month in relation to this big push, especially in the Ivy League against DEI. And we were sharing this morning a New Yorker article that kind of breaks down how that's been playing out at Harvard and that.

The recent resignation of Harvard's first black president, Claudine Gay. Oh, and I have the title here. The title is The Campaign Against DEI and the New Yorker from Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor. Wonderful article. Yeah, yeah. And there was a graph that really spoke to me and kind of summed up what I'm trying to take with me into this Black History Month and the next one too. And it's this idea about what is radical and what is not.

We're in this moment where negative forces would have us think that saying black, being black, celebrating blackness is radical. It's not. Black is history. Black is America. We've always been here. And this graph in the piece says, quote, of Claudine Gay, the black Harvard president who stepped down, quote,

"Claudine Gay is no radical, which is how she rose to the Harvard presidency in the first place. But her presence was radical as a Black woman leading one of the most powerful institutions in the world." And just reading that reminded me that like no matter what anyone says about Black History Month or Black people, we can't let them think that we don't belong here or that us having a celebration of us does not belong.

It always does. And it always will. And it's like, how do I do that on my terms for me every year? And maybe that's just playing my damn saxophone with Wesley the dog howling along. I'm doing it for me. And I don't care if other folks see it as radical or not. It's for me.

I love that because, and this is a lesson, I think, you know, for all identities. Yeah. Making decisions about how people who aren't you and aren't for you feel about you is always a dangerous road. It's kind of like respectability, you know, and it's like, well, you know, like gay men who eschew femininity because they're like, well, I don't want straight people. Who cares what straight people think? If you want to put on the heels, put on the fucking heels. There you go. You know, oh, I don't want to celebrate black kids because white people...

I don't know. Yeah. They are not your editor. They are not your editor. You know what I mean? You are your editor. I love that. You are your editor. You are. Come on. So I love doing black history for ourselves. Yeah. Zach, any last thoughts on the month?

No, I think it's, you know, as you've been speaking about this, it's made me more inspired to be more intentional because I feel like this month, I always wait for the corporations lately. The corporations have very much drained the joy out of this month for me because it's, okay, what event are we going to do? What thing are we going to do? What content can we make? And I think certain content can be great.

Our haste this series, I think is a beautiful example of being intentional, creating space, uplifting and well, and shout out to Ulta. They just said, here, go ahead. Yeah. Just go do it. Thank you. It's a beauty. We love you. Um,

But I think, like, as you're talking, I want more of that. I want people to resource me and create open spaces for me to just either be or be quiet, be loud, be active this year or not, but just exist, I think, at the end of the day is enough. And I think that's what I'm taking from all this. And if you ever have an opportunity to tip someone black who has done something for you, tip. Yeah.

We can't let it go. We can't let it go. And we won't. We won't. We won't. Welcome to Tip Check, a little podcast. Tip Check. The three of us. We're fed up. Now I'm thinking of that Nelly song, Tip Drill. Oh, my God. Take it back. That's where we're going to leave it.

here and yeah my last parting thought listeners is and this is and listen black history is American history and American history is for better or worse world history do something for you you don't need to tell anybody and in fact I prefer you didn't

You know what I mean? But make a point of learning something you didn't know. And I love like Sam, even with public figures that we think we know a lot about. I remember being fully shook, for example, when I was reading Aretha Franklin's biography and I learned that after her mom passed away suddenly when she was 13, Aretha went mute for weeks. Wow.

And just the idea of someone as formidable as Aretha Franklin being a grief-stricken mute girl in Detroit, it haunts me. You know what I mean? So just invest. It can be a moment. It can be a day. You don't need to post it on Instagram. Please don't go to work and tell your black coworker about it the next day. Do it for yourself because I think there's inherent value in deepening our relationship to him.

dream. Do it for yourself. I like that. Do it for yourself. Please not for us. Please not for us. Just give us the money. Give us the tip and walk away. Alright, we'll leave it there. Don't go away. We'll be right back. ... ... ...

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at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, We Are Golden. All right, listeners, we are back. And before we end the show, as we always do, I'm going to check in with my sisters and have them recommend something that's keeping their vibes right. Zach, we'll start with you.

I'd love that because mine is so boring and random, but bringing me so much joy this week. I finally bought one of those car mounts for my phone. The magnetic ones you put in your air conditioning vents and you put your phone up there. I've always resisted. So you can look at like Google Maps while you're driving? You can look at Google Maps. It's like up there. It's like a lot of Uber drivers have them when you're in the Uber. A lot of people have them. A lot of people in general have them.

I have resisted. I just put my phone in the cup holder. You don't use CarPlay on your car screen? I use CarPlay on my car screen, but I just have my phone there, and then if I need to grab it, I reach down. Having my phone just sit there, charging, looking pretty, I love it. It feels luxury. Small wins. It feels like luxury. I love it. Girl, I know what car you drive, so to hear you say that that is luxury makes me laugh. What I will say is it is kind of interesting that

Like car manufacturers. I haven't seen it like standard. Like they don't seem to design cars. But they know people, everyone has a phone there. Yeah. I mean maybe it's a deal with like the phone accessory lobby, big lobby that's like, yo, you can't build inside the phone. You know, unions, whatever. But anyway, I love it. Amazon.com, thank you. Thank you Jeff Bezos, Danny Bezos. I'm loving my car stand.

Wow. Welcome to the future, I guess. The little wins. The little wins. The little wins. So there we go. Not every week it's like some piece of culture or film. I mean, I think it's also like a safety thing too, right? Yeah, it's also safe. That'll help you keep your vibe right, staying alive. I love that. There you go. In these LA streets. At the end of the world.

Okay. Okay. Said, what is your vibe recommendation this week? Well, since we talked about black history, I, and I've been trying to, you know, kind of, I think last poem I read was like, like a classic Lucille Clifton poem. I thought I would read one of my favorite Langston Hughes poems.

I came across it in probably middle school. And I love it because it is a heartbreaking poem narratively, but there is such joy. And I just think he's doing like a lot of work and I just love it. It's the weary blues. Also, no one told me he was gay until I was grown. Really? Okay, wait, this is a whole conversation. His estate is incredibly anti-gay and has put a lot...

of effort into suppressing, like actively suppressing movies, films, any kind of art project about it. It's even kind of getting to his biographer. It is, there is a pointed systemic reason for that. And so I'm glad you brought it up actually. Yes. Langston Hughes was a gay man. He loved to kiki. He had a lot of,

Black queer friends in Harlem. And that's actually part of why I like this poem, because to me it reads like a kind of expression of queer grief, queer blues. Okay. It's also difficult to read. Here we go. The weary blues by Langston Hughes. Droning a drowsy syncopated tune, rocking back and forth to a mellow croon. I heard a Negro play.

Down on Lenox Avenue the other night, by the pale dull pallor of an old gas light, he did a lazy sway, he did a lazy sway, to the tune, oh, those weary blues. With his ebony hands on each ivory key, he made that poor piano moan with melody, oh, blues. Swaying to and fro on his rickety stool, he played that sad, raggy tune like a musical fool, sweet.

blues coming from a black man's soul. Oh, blues. In a deep song voice with a melancholy tone, I heard that Negro sing that old piano moan. Ain't got nobody in all this world. Ain't got nobody but myself. I was going to quit my frowning and put my troubles on the shelf.

Thump, thump, thump went his foot on the floor. He played a few chords, then he sang some more. I got the weary blues and I can't be satisfied. Got the weary blues and can't be satisfied. I ain't happy no more and I wish that I had died.

And far into the night, he crooned that tune. The stars went out, and so did the moon. The singer stopped playing and went to bed. While the weary blues echoed through his head, he slept like a rock or a man that's dead. That's The Weary Blues by Langston Hughes. It was first published in 1927, and it was published in...

I can't remember the title, but I always think it's great because it was published in a black magazine and it won like best poem of the year, which is to say part of the reason we have this poem

is that there was a black newsroom in Harlem that wanted to celebrate, you know, black art. And, you know, so much community has to happen to make art, you know, into history. So, yeah, that's the way it is. I love it. And I just, I was able to pull up, it's Urban League magazine. That is like the old. The Urban League magazine. Yes.

I love it. I love it. I love it. That was so good. Oh my God. Both of you have sang. Now I'm feeling the pressure. I'm nervous. And now Zach will do his blues rendition of Pan Damn, Pan Damn. I'm kidding. Speaking of Black History Month. Sam, what's your recommendation? We're going to do a full one.

180 right here because my recommendations well first before I get to my tacky recommendations I want to follow up in last week's episode I mentioned briefly how I shared really sad song lyrics to the group chat and nobody wrote back we do just ignore them nobody wrote back

A lot of folks reached out and were like, Sam, what are the sad lyrics? We want to listen to this sad girl shit with you. So for those who were wondering, the sad girl lyrics are from an artist named Chapel Roan. The song that I pulled from is called Casual, but the entire album is great. It's called The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. And it's got some good tear jerkers to scream and cry to. And it's felt good. So check it out.

But secondly, my full recommendation for this week is celebrating watching bad things because they're bad. Oh, God. I forgot you were going to do this. Oh, this demonic turn that we're about to go on. You called me a demon and I just said I'm free, baby. I'm free. But this week in the last few days, I've watched two things that I knew were going to be horrible and I was overjoyed by how horrible they actually were.

First was that new J-Lo long form music video meant to be her lemonade called This Is Me Now. Don't even mention it in the same sentence as lemonade. It was one of the worst things. But she wanted to be lemonade and it wasn't. If she wanted to be lemonade, it was, what was it? It was Crystal Light. Crystal Light. And it wasn't even good. I like Crystal Light. It was so bad it was funny.

And I loved it for that reason. The second thing that was in the same boat, I went to see it on President's Day and the theater was surprisingly halfway full. Madam Web, one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. And I laughed the whole time. Dakota Johnson was in there just making a mess of things. And I bring this up because sometimes there is a really good release in watching shit that's awful.

It reminds you that you didn't make it and your day isn't as bad as their week is going.

Can't be that bad. Can't be that bad. Can I ask what makes Madam Web – because, I mean, TikTok is ripping it. It does not sound – I mean, I wasn't exactly racing to theaters to see it either. But what makes it bad? Is it like the acting is bad? The acting's bad. The script is bad. The dialogue is stiffly delivered. Apparently, all of the villains' lines were actually added in post. Yeah.

And it shows. Yeah, the ADR is bad. What's ADR? It's when there's like a line that didn't track well for recording while acting. They retract it later. And you can see the dubs. But there's this fight scene at the end that's supposed to be like in the city on a billboard. And you just see the soundstage of it all. And you're like, Marvel has all this money and this shit looks so cheap.

The CGI the whole time looked cheap. Dakota Johnson, the whole movie looks like she doesn't want to be there. It is incredible. Which is like kind of like speaks to, so this is like a part of the Marvel universe, but it's the Sony production because Sony owns all the Spider-Man stuff. And it just always makes it feel like, you know, the low budget version of everything Disney's doing and they're all bombing across the board. So no, and like, yeah, she got her money. And, and,

And what's been so ironic about Madam Web, like that movie is probably the worst movie of the year. But Dakota Johnson's press tour in advance of the film's release is my favorite film of the year so far because she has been so chaotic and detached in every interview. It is comedic deadpan genius.

Why I love the JLo thing is because it's just so dumb. There's a whole motif in the short film, long form music video.

in which she is a factory worker in a factory in which all of the strong, muscled women are working on a steampunk metal beating fire heart. And they do choreography. I wish listeners could see our faces. It's so bad. There's also a whole through line where there's this like conservative Fox News type cable news pundit who you find out at the end is Ben Affleck. It's Ben Affleck, yeah.

It is on hand. There's a scene in which J-Lo's character is at a sex addicts anonymous meeting and they're all like in the gym in the chair circled up. And then all of the people at the sex addicts anonymous meeting start interpretive dancing in the circle. Interpretive dancing. Interpretive dancing. Not even like hip hop dancing. Interpretive dancing through the feelings she's talking about. Okay, so how is this your recommendation? I'm going to need you to do a little bit more labor, bitch. Because I'm laughing.

I have not laughed this much in months. Watch it and laugh. Pop an edible, watch it and laugh. Or don't. Or don't. And laugh too. Let it go. Yeah, that's it. All right. Those are my recommendations. Listeners, let me know your thoughts after you watch both of those things. And let us know what's keeping your vibe right. What's your vibe? Check in with us whenever you want. Vibecheckatstitcher.com. Vibecheckatstitcher.com.

And with that, that's today's high octane show of lots of music. We went on a journey, friends. Keep my singing in, Nora. Keep my singing in. Keep all the vocals in. Well, listeners, thank you for tuning into this week's episode of Vibe Check. If you love the show and want to support us, please make sure to follow the show on your favorite podcast listening platform. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, everything, and leave a review. And most importantly, tell a friend.

Huge thank you to our producers, Chantel Holder, Marcus Holm for our theme music and sound design, and Rich Garcia, who's mixing this episode for us. Thanks, Rich. Also, special thanks to our executive producers, Nora Ritchie at Stitcher and Brenda Sharp from Agenda Management and Production.

Listeners, we want to hear from you. Don't forget, email us whenever, vibecheckatstitcher.com. Also, we're on the socials, at Zach Staff, that Zach has an H in it, at Sam Sanders, and at The Ferocity. If you post about the show, use the hashtag at, no, use the hashtag vibecheckpod. All right, till next time, keep singing.

Keep sinking. I'm failing that. Auto-tune yourself if you must. You know? We have options. I don't need no auto-tune, baby. We have options. I'm touching go. I'm touching go. Bye. Bye. Stitcher. NetCredit is here to say yes. Because you're more than a credit score. Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit are lending partner banks and serviced by NetCredit. Applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com slash partners. NetCredit. Credit to the people.

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