2023, Don’t Let The Door Hit You…
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I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.

at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, WeAreGolden.

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Greetings, ladies marmalade. Marmalade. Vous avez beaucoup ché avec moi? I am so grateful that pop music hasn't tried to do a reboot. Like, leave it to LaBelle. Leave it to them. Leave it to Christina, Maya, Pink, Missy Elliott, Lil' Kim. Yes, that's it. You know what I mean?

I am not Patti LaBelle. I'm Sam Sanders. I am not Maya, but I am Saeed Jones. And I am not Christina Aguilera, but I am Zach Snapper. And you are listening to Vibe Check. Vibe Check.

Hey, hey. You know, I've been thinking about Patti LaBelle recently because my Aunt Betty was here for Thanksgiving and I was like, you have to hear all of my records. I do records now and I'm playing this old LaBelle record and we're loving it. And then I was like, Betty, have you ever seen the Patti LaBelle Where My Background Singers clip?

And she was like, no. And I said, oh, girl, you got to see it. It's incredible. And she loved it. For those who don't know, this Patty video in question, in the early 90s when Bill Clinton was president, Patti LaBelle was supposed to sing at the annual White House Christmas tree lighting, which is run live on TV like in November or December.

Because Bill Clinton was late, it threw off the Secret Service protocol, and they tried to have Patty open the show to stall for Bill...

But the background singers couldn't make it up to the stage with Patty because while they had to lock down to wait for Bill, the background singers were stuck outside. So there's this video of Patty by herself. This is great. I didn't know this part of this. There's this there's this video of Patty on stage. They haven't even finished setting up for the whole thing, but they're like, Patty, sing.

The teleprompters doing the wrong lyrics. Basically pushed Patti LaBelle onto that stage. She has no background singers. And as she's singing This Christmas, she ad-libs. Background singers! Woo! And there's the wrong words on the cue cards. This Christmas. This is the season of that Patti video. It's amazing. Anywho.

I digress. And it's also one of the first videos in which I realized that most singers don't know every song that you would think they would. They do need help. They need help. They do so much, they can't remember everything. And it gave me more generosity to when I was at the Beyonce concert and I saw that she had teleprompters. She sure did. Oh, right. Yeah. You probably can't keep an entire three-hour set list perfectly in your head. You may need visuals. And just all kinds of things are going on. Like someone holds up a crazy sign and you're like, wait, where am I? In the middle of Alien Superstar? I get it. I get it.

We stand in solidarity, Patty. Yes. Miss Patty. I'm sorry. Let me not forget my manners. Miss Patty of Patty Pie fame. We love you. Anywho, I hope you're all enjoying the holiday season. We're actually sharing this episode with y'all in the last week of 2023.

To which I say, you got a good riddance, girl. I had enough of you. Girl, listen. Goodbye. Don't let the door hit you 2023. Yes, yes. So this week in this episode, we're going to reflect on some of the biggest news and pop culture moments of the year. We are also going to talk about

what we're leaving behind in 2023, and what our intentions are for 24. It's going to be a great show. I love it. Before we get into the episode, though, we want to thank all of you, first of all, for spending your year, for surviving your 2023 alongside with us. We did it, y'all. We did it. And so many of you have used

fan mail, you know, emailing us your thoughts, your ideas, your feedback every week. And we really appreciate it. Also people reaching out to us on social media. It's just been a hoot being able to stay in touch with you that way. And as always, you can keep them coming at vibecheckatstitcher.com. But for now, last time for the year that is 2023, let's jump in. Shall we?

Are we? Let's do it. Okay. Where my back well, singers and devs? We love a callback. That's perfect. We love a callback. That's perfect. Leave it in, Chantel. Leave it in. Leave it in.

So let's talk some of the biggest cultural moments of 2023. And each of us are going to talk about our picks. And we actually just learned of each other right before this call. So enjoy the ride with us on this one. But each segment, we're going to do three, each of us ever giving our own thing, and then we'll discuss it all. So to get us going, I'll go first. And my pick for this year was, I want to say the return of movie theaters, but the fight rather to keep movie theaters alive.

Since the pandemic hit 2020, we've seen a big decline in movie theaters across the nation. Even before the pandemic hit, they were already struggling. People have changed how they view movies because of streaming and all that good stuff.

However, in the past year, we've seen some rays of hope, I think. And a lot of this has to do with the Barbieheimer phenomenon, if y'all remember that, where Barbie and Oppenheimer went head-to-head. These movies ushered in an era of tentpole movies, which is what we all grew up with. We're all kids of the 80s and 90s. We used to go to movies on a Friday. You remember Independence Day? Yes! Jurassic Park.

X-Men coming out. Everyone wins. Titanic is a thing that you did as a country. And then you all talked about it at work all next week and that's kind of gone away. But this is the year that it's returned and I've loved it. I love the homogeneity of that conversation of that. We all have something to talk about that is interesting. And in the wake of Barbra Heimrath, we've seen other films really push through and create other buzz. Famously, Taylor Swift and

and Beyonce bringing documentaries to theaters in such a huge way. So for me, that's the big cultural moment is that movies have a fighting chance. I don't think they'll be what they were when we were kids, but I think there's a reason for them. We're understanding how they serve a purpose in art. I'm excited for that purpose for me. What do y'all think? I'm totally into it as someone who loves the movies and kind of covers the industry. I want to see movie theaters survive, but we're seeing increasingly now what's going to be the thing that helps movie theaters survive. And I think

It's no longer the lazy recycled IP of Marvel, their last movie. The Marvels, it won't even break $100 million probably at the US box office. We are seeing now what does work. Movies that take off in viral marketing campaigns online kind of unbeknownst to the teams behind them. Like no one thought that Barbenheimer would be a thing. It happened organically.

And usually movie studios would have pitted these two films against each other. The internet said, let's go do it together. And so I think the lesson for the movie industry is to make good things and allow and wait for the organic marketing online to be whatever it needs to be or should be. That's my lesson from those two movies. I also think that like part of the way forward is tapping into devoted fan bases, right?

It is a no-brainer to make a Taylor Swift concert movie. It is a no-brainer to make a Beyonce concert movie. This is the way. It's just money on the table. This is the way, you know? Yeah. I guess my thing is, and it's interesting because of the three of us, I go to movie theaters the least. Yes.

In 2023, I probably went to movie theaters three or four times. Wow. I think Zach and I go three or four times a month, if not more. Yeah, and you do. But the thing is, just worth remembering, going to the movie theater is more expensive than ever before. When we were reflecting on movies like Titanic and Jurassic Park, could you imagine our parents being like,

This is $50 for each of us. You know, like when you add the ticket and the concession stand. You got popcorn at the house. And people do not know how to act. A woman sitting in front of me at the Beyonce Renaissance was on her phone checking her email the entire movie. When she wasn't dancing, she would like dance. And then as soon as it was like a documentary part, she was like literally looking at her iCal. So, you know, there are new...

to going to the movie theater as well. But I think you're right. One, embracing tentpole opportunities. And then one other thing I would like to see happening

I would like to see movies or even TV shows that maybe have already had their window closed for being in movie theaters, but then take off on TikTok. I would love to see studios be more responsive and say, we know this movie came out six years ago, but people are obsessed with it. Let's screen it for a week or something. Yeah.

I will add one more thing. And Zach, you mentioned this earlier. Part of what has kind of almost revolutionized the way that I think about going to the movies this year has been joining a movie theater subscription. I'm not going to name the theater because I don't want to be given SponCon for no reason. But for one theater chain, I pay about $30 a month.

And then I can go to a movie a day for just like two bucks a movie. That's a good deal. That means whenever I want to go to the movies now, it's $2. So last year, I'd be like, do I really want to see this movie? Is it worth this money? Now, if I have a few hours to spare and I'm bored...

I go to the movies. It's a game change. And Zach, you were saying that it is helping revive the bottom line for these theaters, right? Yeah. So as I said before, there are less theaters than in the past two decades. And that means there's less potential profits for the theaters because there's not as many theaters open. So they're having to find new meaningful ways to generate revenue for their bottom line. And subscriptions are because you become a

passive investor every month in the business. So there may be a month, Sam, that you don't go, but you're not going to cancel your subscription most likely. Some people do. So it helps them continue to forecast because a lot of these companies are publicly traded too. So it's really good for them and helps them look stronger to Wall Street that they have you as a committed fan base. So that's a great thing. Last night, I had finished my things to do for the day and

And I just it was like five in the evening. And I was like, what do I do now? I could have gone home and watched TV on the couch and just vegged out. But I was like, no, let me take myself to the movies. And it only cost two more dollars than being on my couch. It's a fun little time filler. Well, Sam, you're already talking. So I want to go to you to keep the talking going. What was your big cultural thing this year that you loved?

I think there was a big cultural through line this year in terms of what really won 2023 in pop culture. And I was women. The biggest movie of the year was Barbie. The biggest concert tours of the year were Taylor Swift and Beyonce. The biggest selling artist of the year was Taylor Swift. And the artist to receive the most nominations at the upcoming Grammy Awards was SZA.

This is women's pop culture and we're lucky to be alive in this time where everywhere you turn there are women in charge and control winning and making buku money.

I kind of hope it stays this way and I kind of hope that we take the right lessons from what we've seen. You know, we've talked about Barbie on this show before. After Barbie was a runaway success at the box office, a lot of folks were saying, "Well, the lesson here is make more movies about toys." And it's like, no! What if the lesson is make more movies about women! Made by women, right?

I think we see the same thing with Taylor and Beyonce. The biggest women artists of our time have the most devoted fan bases. Beyonce fans and Taylor Swift fans will spend more money over and over and over to support these artists than a fan of Jack Harlow or Morgan Wallen or whoever. It's just like if I were in charge of any kind of entertainment company,

My strategy for the next five to 10 years would be women. That's it. I would have women in charge behind the scenes in front of the camera and the microphone. It's just like at this point, how is Hollywood? How is entertainment?

not doing right by women when we know the power that their content has. So that's my thing of the year. You're the woman. And to add to that, you know, it wasn't just women in front of the camera, behind the camera, they're really powerful too. The strikes themselves in Hollywood came to a close because women leadership. Yep.

Fran Drescher. Fran Drescher really took over. And other names that people may not be as familiar with are Meredith Steyer, who's the president of Writers Guild of America West, and Ellen Stutzman, who was the chief negotiator. So women were literally running that table and helped close deals that have really changed the lives in a meaningful way for people in Hollywood. So it's on both sides. And I would add, thinking about hip-hop, which was kind of the one aspect of pop culture we haven't addressed in this kind of matrix. Because it was a mess this year! But...

When we think of women in hip-hop, I would say this is the most diverse that field has ever looked. I mean, you know, I think generally, I think for the last 20 or so years, I know because what hip-hop just celebrated, what, its 50th anniversary, right? Yeah.

Usually the format was men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. And there might be one spot. And she was co-signed by a man. Yeah. Loyal to a man. Right. And when you look at the year 2023, we have our legends like Queen Latifah and Missy Elliott receiving their flowers. And the same time that we have up and coming stars like Flyanna Boss, who I've fallen in love with them via TikTok. And they're good. They did a remix with Missy that's actually just phenomenal.

It's fucking great. I'm going to check that out. And then, you know, in between them, you know, take your pick. You got Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, you know, like there's just like a lot of options, you know. And so just that range of women, it just feels like to me, women in hip hop, that music sounds ascendant. That whole genre, that vibe. It's fun. Sam, as you've pointed out, they're having fun. And then you listen to men in hip hop and it's just like, y'all okay.

Drake, the incel that couldn't. Right. So I don't know about the numbers for women in hip-hop, but at least in terms of the representation and the vibe, it's felt rich. It's felt ascended, and I've loved to see that. I would say in my whole life, I've never been able to point to so many women currently releasing songs. So whether it's like Glorilla, City Girls, Cardi B, Megan, you can keep going. Nikki. It's usually just one. It's usually just one.

Well, Saeed, what was your big cultural moment of the year? So this is something that I have just been obsessing over privately, much to Sam's chagrin, because he's like, Saeed, it's just you're the only person worrying about this. But now's my time. Now's your time. One of my favorite cultural threads of the year has been movement, has been dance.

My theory is that a lot of the dance and the choreography we've been seeing on TikTok has now started to impact the broader, more mainstream pop culture. For example, music videos. Troye Sivan loves a dance. He loves a little twirl, doesn't he?

That little twink gets out there and does it. Those little robot arms swinging. The robot arms. And I love it because it was very clearly, and he's given credit, clearly drawing from the influence of people like Janet Jackson specifically. But again, I loved his album and I love those songs, but also these music videos were driven by choreography. And that's what I mean. Not just that there were people dancing in them, but where you feel like the choreography is kind of the leading point for the cultural impact. The Barbie movie disco scene.

Obsessed. Obsessed. The Jungle, those two white... I didn't even know they were white British boys. Yeah. I just thought it was a little enclave of dancers. No. So what Jungle does is these two white British guys, but they are always bringing in some allies for vocal support. Yeah.

who are excellent the dancing is so beautiful and I didn't realize until later but their whole new album each of the videos is connected you know it's kind of like a little short film very beautiful choreography and dancing but if I could add to you Saeed an artist you didn't mention that I just want to give

some attention to because i've been ignoring her and now i'm not it's tate mccray tape of craze this new hot up-and-coming pop singer but dance is essential to her rise she's trained as a dancer first then became a pop star and her music videos are all odes to christina and britney at their prime so we're seeing that as like the future to pop music is let's bring back dancing really in these incredible ways yeah and movement and also frankly i just think like it's interesting because we've been talking about like

not just the pop culture, but what it means for the industry. And I think dance, choreography, that's healthy for the music industry, right? Like, it's good to have, like, an entire rich kind of landscape of people who make artistry out of movement being celebrated and given opportunities to be, you know, highlighted as well. And it's a type of movement that I'm happy we're getting back to because it felt like for a few years...

all of the dances were made for TikTok, which meant that they were constrained. They were constrained for the shape of that screen. A very specific kind of movement. And when I see Troye Sivan do his choreo, his robot arms are swinging outside of the iPhone screen, right? Like it's full body choreo. And like all of these examples that you're mentioning, Saeed, it's full body choreo and not just TikTok choreo. I like it. Keep it up.

And it's different. I mean, I'm thinking of Tyla, who actually, I've got to say, I came across her music. She's out of South Africa doing very well with her song Water. That was TikTok, but she's drawing from a tradition of like a very specific, I believe, South African-informed dance movement. So when we're looking at whether it's Troye Sivan or the Dancers in the Jungle music video or, you know, the Barbie kind of disco, like people are moving different.

And I guess that's what I keep going back to, kind of like what I was saying, like women in hip hop, the fact that there is a range, not just one option, I think it's kind of the sign of a healthy pop cultural landscape. I agree. I love that. I love that so much. Bring Back the Dance. And also to tie it all together, the movie that really created the environment for dance, women, etc. to explode was the movie Megan MacKenzie.

that came out last year in 2022 that had a viral dance scene. Wow. Oh, right. She was dancing. Yeah, she was dancing. And that was the beginning. Dancing and killing. That's when you know you've done it. Megan walked so we could run. Yes. All right. Well, it's time for us to take a quick break, but stay tuned. We'll be right back with more Vibe Check.

This message is brought to you by McDonald's. Did you know only 7.3% of American fashion designers are Black? Well, McDonald's 2024 Change Leaders Program is ready to change the face of fashion. The innovative program awards a monetary grant to five emerging Black American designers and pairs each with an industry professional to help them elevate their brands.

I know specifically and distinctly how McDonald's can support and empower not just black Gen Z, but black people. My first job was McDonald's. I learned a lot there about customer service and how to relate to people. I still love that place and go there very often. Look out for the change of fashion designers and mentors.

at events like the BET Awards and the Essence Festival of Culture. And follow the journey of the 2024 McDonald's Change Leaders on their Instagram page, WeAreGolden.

Here's an HIV pill dilemma for you. Picture the scene. There's a rooftop sunset with fairy lights and you're vibing with friends. You remember you've got to take your HIV pill. Important, yes, but the fun moment is gone. Did you know there's a long-acting treatment option available? So catch the sunset and keep the party going. Visit pillfreehiv.com today to learn more. Brought to you by Veve Healthcare.

All right, we're back. We're going to keep this conversation going, talking about the biggest moments of the year. I want us to use this segment to talk about our biggest newsy or political moments of 2023. And Zach, we're going to start with you. All right. Well, I think the story that

has defined this year for me in so many ways is the Israel Hamas conflict that began on October 7th when Hamas attacked Israel resulting in a thousand people dead and the responding attack from Israel that has now engulfed the entire region. This is a story that is

I would say once in a decade type of levels. It's something that has really stopped the world. Everyone's thinking about it. It's constantly on the news. It's constantly a conversation I'm having with friends and family and something I'm constantly just waking up and thinking about. And it will continue to go on for a while. So I think, you know, it's been an ongoing thing that's been going on for over 70 years. And we've hit this new inflection point that I think has just boiled over and changed our lives in so many ways that I'm still figuring out. So for me, that's the big story of the year.

Absolutely. Both because of what happened, the terrorist attack on October 7th, but also, I would say, Israel, in my opinion, just factually disproportionate response, what Palestinian people are enduring and trying to survive.

has been harrowing just to observe, right? To say nothing of people there directly. And in terms of the future of news, like where we go into 2024, I don't think that this is a news topic. I think you're right. This is a bend in the river for a lot of people. I think many people's relationships to political ideas, ideas regarding politics, nationhood, war,

War, violence, and each other. You know, how you feel about how the people around you feel about this topic is certainly heightened. And I think, you know, getting to the real, the awakening aspect of it, people owning their politics...

It's probably a net good, but this is costly. You know what I mean? Like how many thousands of people have died so that we can have a richer understanding of politics? That doesn't sound like a silver lining I want to embrace. No. Yeah. For me...

This conflict has really shown the ways in which America has moved from being a leader on the world stage to an outlier. When you look at the number of countries that are increasingly and consistently calling for ceasefire on the region, it's now a majority of the world, the vast majority of the world. You know who the outliers are?

Israel and the U.S. and maybe France. I love that. Let's dig deeper because it's also President Biden is an outlier compared to most U.S. citizens. Most Americans are like ceasefire is clearly the way to go. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's been very interesting to see this conflict happen and have the Biden White House.

continue the rhetoric that most modern era presidents have used, which is we are a global leader. America is a global leader. We're doing this to protect the world.

That rhetoric is kind of being trotted out in the midst of this conflict, but it is not the reality. The reality would be that if the U.S. wanted to be a leader, they would much more adamantly be pushing for a ceasefire, which is where most of the world is. So this, for me, marks a real shift. We don't know how this thing ends, but this, for me, marks another big moment in which the U.S., on the world stage, whether it believes it or not, is kind of being left behind.

Yeah, that's such a clear way of putting it. That is the biggest difference I feel as someone in their 30s who's seen the US engage in many conflicts. I always felt like we were the one leading the West into battle, into diplomacy, into whatever. And now we're just reacting to BB's thoughts and actions in these really clumsy ways. And even inside the White House, it's really divided. Like I've never seen a White House staff so divided over something internally. So yeah, it's a difference.

Last thing I'll say about this, even the way in which the Biden White House administration in America talks about the conflict itself, they talk about it as if it's a fair fight. In so many ways, it's not.

People in Gaza are relying on the people who are attacking them for aid and to let them cross the borders. That is not an even or fair fight. And it seems as if the Biden White House is really reluctant to acknowledge that reality.

It's troubling. I am questioning how the Biden stance changes as we move into the election year, because as Saeed mentioned, the majority of America at this point, at least its citizens, they want a ceasefire. And again, listeners, when this episode airs, it's going to air a few weeks after we have actually taped it. But this is a headline that I'm going to read. It is from today's

It's from Reuters. Quote, Israel ordered Palestinians to leave parts of the main southern city in the Gaza Strip on Monday, even as its bombs rained down on areas where it told them to go. Right. They have nowhere to go. People who have already been displaced once, who have moved to a safer place.

are now being bombed there too. This is collective punishment. There's no coming back from this knowledge. There are certain moments in your life, either, you know, if you're directly affected or you witnessed them. If you saw the Shock and Awe campaign, for example, in 2003, there are certain things where you see and you just don't come back.

back from that knowledge. I hope it's a productive, transcendent transformation, right? Where you're like, okay, how do we get real? How can I work to make the world a safer place? But I think for 2023, this is the kind of year a lot of people are having.

Yeah, yeah. Moving on. Saeed, what was your most impactful newsy or political moment from this year? I think it certainly relates to the ceasefire or free Palestine moment. Those are related, but maybe not the same for different people. But protest, right?

This is a year where I think many people who maybe haven't had to make a protest sign or, you know, find where, like, where do you get a megaphone if you need one, you know? Like, you know what I mean? Like, learning to download apps that can be safe in case your phone is confiscated by cops at a protest. Like, all of that. Like, a lot of people, I think, are waking up.

And are realizing, kind of like I was saying before, like this sense of understanding the power of the body in terms of movement, in terms of dance, that pleasure is transformed into the power of the body in terms of collective action. SAG, WGA, Teamsters, UPS, hospital workers. Auto workers, all of it. Auto workers. I have a friend who lives in Portland, Oregon, and she was like, teachers are protesting. You know, I mean, it's just every sector of our lives, certainly in the last few years,

But it really feels like 2023 has been like an inflection point. And I have found that inspiring. You know, hard won. I mean, it's like people don't boycott or protest until shit is really real. You know, people do not just do that casually, is my opinion. And so I don't want to just be like, oh, it's so nice to see. But I'm like, no, this is real.

This is real. And for some of these issues, frankly, life or death. But it's good to see people recognizing that there is power in our bodies and there is power in us coming together to say like, no, you know, I'm not like a lone voice. And what I have enjoyed watching in this year of protest is all of us seeming to collectively like

put all the dots together. Every sector, every industry is dealing with the same issue. Corporations and shareholders have too much power and too much money and they're not sharing. And it doesn't matter if you work for the post office or HBO Max, right? Like collectively, we are realizing that

There's a corporate power structure that across all industries is exploiting lower wage workers. And just like out of sync with the rest of us. Out of sync. Yeah. And so to see everyone say, no, it's not just over here. It's not just over there. It's all of us and all around. That feels like progress to me.

And I think people have become really aware of how protests can lead to different types of results. I mean, living in Los Angeles, we've seen how the strikes have directly impacted the city's economic stance and how we've also had to rush to help each other. You know, every quarter I go with producers to buy food for IATSE members because no one thinks about the guys that are serving you food on set. So we're all thinking about means of production in these really broad ways and arriving to moments within that pipeline of where we can show up and help out.

which has been really incredible. It's like...

So much power, I think, is and has been taken away from individual people, right? It's like voter suppression just being one example, right? You know, increasingly likely, I think we often feel we don't have a voice to influence what's going on, especially when corporations and billionaires have so much power. But seeing people, you know, the phrase power to the people is real. It resonates for a reason. And I think 2023 reminded us of that.

Yeah. Sam, what about you? What's your big kind of news political moment of reflection for 2023? I have been watching one simmering politics story that I think is

will be the defining issue of the 2024 election. And that is seeing abortion when it's on the ballot across the country in every election after Roe has fallen. In every election in red states or blue states, voters have chosen to preserve the right to legal and safe abortion. It's happened everywhere. It's happened in the Midwest. It's happened on the coast.

And this is a sign for Democrats and Republicans about what's going to resonate. I'm most fascinated by the results in Ohio. Oh, H.I.O. No. Yes. Yes. And we've discussed this before on a previous vibe check episode. But what I found so fascinating about that election is it's not just that Republicans wanted the right to abortion on the ballot. It's that in the same moment,

They tried to disenfranchise voters' rights to vote to get the results that they wanted on abortion. They lost on both counts. This is a big deal, and it sets up the ways in which abortion...

is actually about more than just abortion this next election year. It's about control. There's a beautiful essay written by Rebecca Traister in New York Magazine that lays this out a bit. But long story short, when you talk about abortion and you talk about the current GOP, this is just the start of what they want to do.

They don't want to just control your right to legal and safe abortion. They want to control what pronouns you choose to call yourself. They want to control what kind of books can be in your libraries. They want to control what your children can wear and what bathrooms they can use. They want to control whether or not you can organize to unionize when you're at work.

It is all about control. And there is one party that isn't just trying to control things like abortion. They're trying to control your access to the ballot box to then control your right to things like abortion.

It is imperative for Democrats, should they want to not see Trump get elected again, it's imperative for them to connect these dots. I think a lot of folks on the left are just thinking, well, you know, next year, just say abortion over and over and over again. It's a winning issue, but it's not enough. I think there's a moment now, seeing the way that the entire GOP has reacted to the fall of Roe, there's a moment to say, this election is all about control.

One party wants to control you inside and out. The other seems to want to lower childhood poverty and see wages go up. Like it's like it's just kind of a no brainer to me. I don't trust Democratic leadership to get that messaging right. But there's an opportunity, should they want to, to do just that. But yeah, for me, abortion is the political story of 2023. And it will also be for 2024. Yeah.

I love that because you're right. The democratic machine does need a through line to really galvanize all of its constituents. And talking about control is a really juicy thing. I can bite into that as a voter. I'm like, okay, they're trying to control me. They're trying to control my bathroom, trying to control where I can watch drag shows, trying to control how I vote. What I read. What I read. What my kids read. That control is such a good verb to use there. And it does help me understand

kind of crystallize what's happening because they get us with, you know, here's a drag queen, here's a book, here's a this, it's like all over the place, but we need that thing to coalesce around and control does seem to be that. And they're so likely and so loved to use the word freedom. It's like, oh, no, no, no, when you peel it back, they want the opposite. They want the opposite for you and your body. We'll see if the Democratic Party's leaders survive.

seize this opportunity because I think both when it's like obviously abortion on the ballot works and like another issue ceasefire overwhelming support but guess who's saying everybody but the people at the top you know but yeah I think it's very clear and it's like it's a clear through line it's actionable when you say like this election is about control it like lines up in people's minds you can see the dots go dot dot dot and that's powerful I got it

It's the Janet Jackson election. I was waiting. I was going to say that to you, but I was like, I'll let Sam get there when he gets there, but Auntie Sam is going to land at Janet. Wow. Also, I want to give credit where credit is due. The Rebecca Traister essay I alluded to is in New York Magazine. It was published November 17th of 2023, and it's called Abortion Wins Again. Now what? Hmm.

All right. With that, time for another quick break. Stay with us. We'll be right back with our intentions for the new year.

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All right, my loves, we are back and it is time for us to talk about our intentions moving forward. So we're going to actually do this in two parts. We're very excited. We're going to talk about what we are going to leave behind in 2023. And then also what we're going to seize upon in 2024. So we're kind of like, we're leaving this and we're running toward that. I'm really excited. Zach, do you want to get us started? Let's start with what you are leaving behind.

What I'm leaving behind, and I actually said this to Sam yesterday about something else that I will not talk about, but it's been on my mind a lot. And it is, you know, I have forever been, I don't want to say nosy, but I put myself in other people's business a lot as a helper. Like I think of myself as a helper.

as someone that has a lot of creative problem-solving abilities. So if you got a problem, I'm here to fix it. And sometimes that extends to the woman at the cash register who's picked the wrong apple and I know she's going to be charged wrong. Like I just like step up a lot to try to help when I'm not being asked to help anything. So for what I'm leaving behind is a phrase that me and Sam were talking about yesterday, which is not my dog, not my race. Oh.

Also known as not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my circus. Yeah. So being there. This is why we should hang out in person. I was going to see how many animals y'all were going to work for. Got a lot of animals. This is the zoo of knowledge. Not my Bronco, not my rodeo. Sometimes you're hanging out with your friends and you're like, they got stoned together recently. Yeah.

I can tell they were. I can tell y'all were in Sam's backyard vibing, thinking thoughts. I love it. To express the real truth here, I had two glasses of wine on an empty stomach. So that's why we arrived there. So I was definitely feeling it. But, you know, I'm just really getting better at, you know, seeing something happen around me and being like, that's not...

for you to deal with because I take on a lot of burden sometimes of anxiety for other people without them even asking me to. So, you know, if a friend asks me for help, I'm going to respond, but I'm not going to just like raise my hand, rush to a problem just because I can fix it because you know what? I'm not the fire department. So I should stop acting. There you go. That's what I'm letting go. There you go. Okay. I like that. Someone smarter than me once said,

You can't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. And I believe that. And I think that's what you're getting at. Yeah. Yeah. I love all these phrases we have. This is very, my dad would be so proud of this. Uh,

Oh God. And then, and then what's your intention for 2024? Oh, so my intention, I've said this on a show in passing, but I'm really leaning into it and it's, I'm really trying to make sure my, my present self is taking care of my future self. And a lot of this thinking comes from a lot of incredible writing I,

read years ago and I've returned to by people like the psychologist Hal Hirschfeld. He has a book called Your Future Self, How to Make Tomorrow Better Today. And the whole kind of thesis around us not being able to take care of our future self is because we're all too in love with procrastination. And procrastination is all about us not allowing ourselves to take a second to be like, hey, future

for me needs some help. Why can't I do that now so I feel better then? And procrastination's all about that because there's like really real reasons for that. So certain people, especially if you're Black and queer like us,

You weren't ever promised a future. You don't know if tomorrow's coming. So you don't want to do the hard work today to make sure you're going to be good in six months because you don't even know if six months is going to come around. And I think I'm in a place in my life where I know, hopefully, God willing, I will be here in six months. So I should take better care of myself today so in six months I feel even better. And there's a quote that Hal Hirschfeld wrote in a piece that he published online that kind of synthesizes all of this. And he says,

And putting something off until a later point in time, we're failing to consider how much our future self will want to avoid the same negative emotions that we're trying to avoid right now. So I'm just taking a lot of heart into that. And when I have moments in which

I'm enjoying the fruits of taking care of my future self. I say, thank you, past self, for taking care of future me. And I move on with my day. So that's what I'm focused on. I love that. Well, and also doing that helps us to forgive past versions of ourselves. We all do that thing where we want to constantly replay the weird thing we did seven years ago that we just can't get over. And what you got to tell yourself is that

Your past self was trying the best it could to look out for future self, and it was doing the best it could at the time. Truly. I like that. I like that. All right. Well, here's to that. Sam, what about you? What are you first leaving behind in 2023? Yeah. I have been telling myself that I'm going to leave behind what I'm calling forced loneliness. I think it happens a lot to people who live in cities like L.A.,

You have a rich social life, you have friends, you have things to do, but you still do this thing where instead of taking initiative to do things and see people, you just kind of veg out and chill out and you don't do it. And I think a big through line for me this year is

was telling myself that I had nothing to do and that I was bored. But what that word bored really meant was that I was lonely and that I wasn't connecting enough with the folks that I love and trust and want to be around to fill my life and fill my days. I felt this acutely in the last few months because I don't know if listeners have heard it yet, but a few months ago I had a breakup, you know? And when you break up with a partner who lives in the same city as you, you lose an activity partner, you know? And so I've had to think a lot

long and hard about what kind of interactions I want and what I want my days to look like. And I'm realizing I want to be around people more. I want to be around my people more. And it's so easy. You know, you're at the house. You got all the streaming apps. You got your phone, the dog sitting right there. You got your meal delivery for the week. You can just do that.

But I'm saying no to that kind of forced loneliness next year. I am doing this thing where I'm trying now to have most of the nights of my week

with some kind of item in the calendar for the evening. Because as someone who works from home, if I don't make plans, I could easily have a day where day goes into night and I've only talked to real people through Zoom. That's no bueno, you know? So that's what I'm trying to leave behind this year. I love this too because I think, and I've read some books about this, I think the words bored and lonely are like

The water looks shallow, but it's actually really deep. Like I think bored and lonely are actually really complicated feelings. And, you know, they're related. But yeah, we kind of toss them out and then kind of move on. But I'm like, I don't know. I think being bored or feeling lonely, like there's a lot going on there. So I don't know if you're looking into it. And how you just said it, like I wasn't bored, I was lonely, is just really sitting on my chest today. Because there's so many moments I look back

now and I can apply that too. Like, no, I wasn't bored. I was just really lonely. And loneliness and why it's important to name it as loneliness is because you begin to see a map of how to get out of it. Do you begin to be able to interrogate how, because boredom is like,

What do I do? I'm just bored. I love that. Well, that was really helpful. Okay, what's your intention for 2024, Sam? Yeah, you know, my intention is kind of just the roadmap I'm setting myself for the next year after a year that's kind of been full of loss and kind of full of grief. Listeners know that my mother died in late June of this year.

But listeners may not also know that about a month later, my long-term partner and I broke up. And then about two months after that, I was laid off from my primary job as host of the Vulture podcast, Intuit. So within the span of four months, I lost a parent, I lost a man, and I lost a job. It's been hard. It's been very, very hard. And what I've continued to think about is like,

what does this mean? And why did it all happen seemingly at once? And like, damn, is somebody out to get me? Who is out to get me? What the fuck? I remember, I think we were talking once. You were like, Syed, it's my Job year. I said, oh, Lord. It's been a minute since I read the Bible, but I know what the fuck that means. Oh, shit. We got to do something. Yeah. And so I've had to do a few things in the midst of that. One is to remind myself that no,

No one is out to get me. These things happen. And I am not better than experiencing heartbreak. I am not better than experiencing job troubles. I am not better than experiencing these things that are actually just a part of life. And the reminder is that like in the midst of all the problems of life,

At its core, life just wants you to live. It wants you to live. It's not out to get you. It's out to save you. So that's first. But then I think, too, in terms of my intention, you know, coming out of that, it's been me asking myself a lot. What do I do in the absence of such loss? Losing my man, losing my job, losing my mom, everything.

if more loss is due for all of us, because that's just what life is, how do I make sense of this, make peace with this, and continue to love and live life abundantly going forward? And what I really landed on was kind of just determining and choosing to love the world and love my life

The same way that I love my dog. So my dog Zora is 14. She had a few health scares this year and we all thought she was going to die. Like I was just like, oh, it's coming. It's coming. And it hasn't yet.

But I've noticed this strange phenomenon with Zora. The closer she walks to death. I don't love her less. I love her more. I love her more knowing that my time with her is limited. And for me, that is the lesson for 2024.

When we are faced with the eventual reality that everything we love will eventually leave us or we'll leave it, what do we do in the face of that really hard truth? A lot of us can choose to love less, to pull away, to detach, to never get too attached because this thing will go at some point anyway. The alternative is to love the world like I'm trying to love my fucking dog.

Every day I know I have fewer days with her and every day I love her more because I want to savor these moments and keep these moments and make memories. And so that's my intention for next year to know that none of these things last forever.

And that that means with every moment that I can, I must love them all the way. Love all the way. That's it. I love that. I love that you're choosing love because a lot of people do the opposite. They pull away. And, you know, in the end, if we are all going to lose, if that's the human experience is to gain and then lose, it's better to have loved and lost and to never have loved at all is the famous phrase. There you go. So, yeah.

Dogs on my mind. Well, Saeed, what about you? Okay. What I'm leaving behind, and this is actually a conversation that came out of the group text and something, Zach, that you said that lit up a feeling that I've been troubled by. You know the phrase, tit for tat, this for that, that kind of dynamic? Well, I did this, so you got to do that, that dynamic? Okay. Yeah.

So, this year, as I move forward, I am leaving behind debt collectors. That's the phrase. I'm thinking about Julianna Margulies as soon as you say that. Okay, that is one example. That is certainly one example, yeah. But, you know, also just people in your life. And this could be allies, certainly, right? This could be friends. This could be, you know, romantic relationships, industry colleagues, debt collectors. People who...

Your kindness, your advocacy, your support, the help you give is in fact just a debt that you are strategically saddling me with.

with the intention of being able to use me in some way in the future. I did this for you at X point, and now I'm calling in my chips. You know, that kind of dynamic. And I got to tell you, I really hadn't thought about this experience until this year. And I've really been shaken by it. As you both know, in particular, I take friendship very seriously. I think friendship is a really...

significant kind of love in my life. And so, to realize that love of friendship can be weaponized has been very disturbing. And so, to the debt collectors who have had the grace

to be in my life in 2023 oh i hope you had a good time i know it will never be as good for you as it was for me but i hope it was good because it's over i'm leaving you behind in 2023 good for you for you love that fare thee well yeah

I love that. What I love about that too is it has felt like a season of realizing I was in debt to people I had no idea were even tracking it. No idea. And the gag is at least debt collectors let you know. Exactly. I didn't get a letter. They get a card. It didn't get sent to accounts, but I

Suddenly, the other day, everything got sent to a account. I was like, whoa. But I think the opposite of a debt collector is investors. Not predatory private equity investors, but people who pour into you and know that through the love that you all create together, through the bond and the camaraderie, that will produce the fruit of the ROI that people are looking for, which is just the being together, seeing each other rise, being able to pay witness to your journey. Because it has been shocking to me as well to be like,

Wait, wait, wait. You were just here because you needed me in your artillery belt for one day when you had a fight? You were keeping tabs? You were keeping tabs? Yeah. Yeah, it's just meaningful relationships and that can manifest all different kinds of relationships I think require abundance and grace. And of course, it's not like taking advantage of each other, but you know, it's like

That's staying behind. My intention for 2024 is connected. I'm determined to be generous of spirit. Yeah.

Generous of spirit. And then what I wanted to add, too, is like ambitiously creative, like never before. Because I realized this year, like Sam, a lot of heartbreak, a lot of loss. And that takes energy. It takes a lot of energy to deal with that. So I kind of had to go at times into kind of creative survival mode.

you know, kind of like low power mode on your phone, you know, where you're like, whoop, got to save my battery, you know? And so moving into 2024, I don't want to think about saving battery. I want to give it all. I want to give it all. I want to be generous of spirit. I want to love more. I want to have more hope and I want to create more than I ever have.

in my life and i feel like i owe it to this year you know to kind of show up well as a long time lover of your work even before we were friends i'm excited to hear that there's more coming next year how we fight for our lives the sequel come on now

It's Mortal Kombat up in this motherfucker. I love it. I love it. Well, friends, that's what we're leaving behind and what we're running toward. I hope this was helpful for you. And maybe if you want to sit down and get out like a little notepad and then sketch out some ideas for yourself, I think it's useful. I think it's useful. And of course, you can let us know if you want to share your intentions with us for the new year. Email us at vibecheckatstitcher.com.

And that's it. That's the show. We did it, Joe. That's 2023. Yeah. We made it. We made it to the end. We made it. Yes. The burning house that was 2023. We're outside. We're on the front lawn. We're breathing clean air, children. But where do we go next? Where do we lay our hands next, Joe? Who knows? We're about to find out. Well, until then.

Thank you, dear listener, for tuning into this week's episode of Vibe Check, the last of the year. If you love the show and want to support us, please make sure to follow the show on your favorite podcast listening platform and tell a friend. Tell them all.

Huge thank you to our producer, Chantel Holder, engineer Sam Kiefer, and Marcus Holm for our theme music and sound design. And special thanks to our executive producers, Nora Ritchie at Stitcher and Brandon Sharp from Agenda Management and Production. And listeners, know that we always want to hear from you. Do not forget, you can email us whenever you want. The email address is vibecheckatstitcher.com. Vibecheckatstitcher.com.

Also, stay in touch on Instagram. I'm at Sam Sanders. Zach is at Zach Staff. There's a C-H in his Zach. And Saeed is at The Ferocity. Use the hashtag VibeCheckPod if you post about the show. And for real, let us know your intentions for the new year, as we asked y'all earlier. All right, we are back with a new episode next Wednesday. Till then...

Happy New Year, everybody. Don't party too hard and party safely. Drink water. Party hard and party dangerously.

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