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I would like to talk to you about one of our sponsors, Timeline Nutrition, and one product in particular, MitoPure. MitoPure is one of the first products to offer a precise dose of urolithin A to help upgrade your mitochondrial function, help increase cellular energy, and help improve muscle strength and endurance. I've started taking it recently and have started to tell that there is definitely when I work out or I'm active. But MitoPure does more than just help with my muscle health.
it can help with health stand as well. I want to be one of those granddads one day that you see in the video of him swinging his grandkid around. I want to rely on myself for as long as I possibly can. One way to think of MitoPure is that they are in your cells, chomping up the damaged mitochondria that makes you feel old and tired and helping to recycle it into new healthy ones.
Mitochondria, our cell's power generators, are one of the key influences in how we age. However, as the years pass, mitochondrial efficiency naturally declines, representing a large gap in the quality of life we expect in our later years and the one we experience.
Taking two soft gels a day for two months and you could see significant improvements in your cellular energy, muscle strength, and endurance. After four months of taking Mito Pure, you might feel yourself getting stronger, recovering faster after a workout, and experiencing less inflammation, all part of your healthier aging routine, which is honestly amazing.
Timeline is offering 10% off your first order of Mito Pure. Go to timeline.com slash pillowsandbeer. That's T-I-M-E-L-I-N-E dot com slash pillowsandbeer. These statements and products have not been evaluated by the Friedenslog administration. These products are not invented by no street pure. The
My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
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I am in Charleston again after a busy day in New York, joined by bestie number one, Craig Conover. He's in Paige's closet. And Mr. Nick Norris hanging out with us as always in Virginia. I'll say it correct this time, Nick. We're not going to make fun of your profession of making moonshine in the mountains.
I am worse for wear today. Well, not worse for wear, but it just feels like a long day because I had to wake up today and travel back because we are on the heels of a fun bar crawl yesterday in New York City. And it truly was a lot of fun. And come see us in Phoenix on Thursday if you're within a driving distance. Our show...
It's Thursday evening. I think there's like 20 or 30 tickets left to wrap up this kind of chapter of the tour. So me and Austin are really excited about it. But yeah, the bar crawl was great. We went out with our new business partners. They are very successful and very historic businesses.
bars in new york city um yesterday starting at down the hatch and um that was built in 1991 well we started at the spaniard and then went to down the hatch um we're excited by the way is opening this summer in charleston that is the name of the bar by the way so follow us on instagram and um yeah it was the way we're excited that by the way is opening
It was fun. We got to meet a lot of our besties and it was chill. We played some beer pong, watched some truly awful football. Then we got to run into Kyle, Kyle Cook, not only Kyle Cook, but also Sheena from Vanderpump rules. So that was really neat.
Yeah, they came to meet us at the last bar, which was Downtown Social. I'm going to try and remember all the names because shout out to all the staff and the managers and everyone that made it happen.
and welcomed us in. And there's like a camera there kind of filming because I'm pretty sure that all the businesses want to make like a dope little promo video, which hell yeah. And so thank you to Down the Hatch and Three Sheets and Off the Wagon and Downtown Social for hosting us yesterday and for making it an awesome day.
And to all the besties that, I mean, there were quite a few, Craig. I don't know if you noticed, but quite a few that followed us to each and every bar. So shout out to those people who specifically freaking dedicated the bar crawl to him and hanging out with us. But yes, at the last stop, Kyle and Sheena were there and they had a table and we were able to all just kind of hang out and watch the last bit of the second game.
Cause the first game did not go according to plan, according to Craig's plan. Yeah. When, according to the NFL's plan, which the NFL's, you know, yeah, the NFL's plan, uh,
Which it's funny that they... Everyone that was being called crazy yesterday, then they announced today that, you know, Taylor Swift's brought $330 million to the NFL. The issue is the Ravens absolutely sucked, and they were so bad that they made the NFL's job easy. So they basically...
Even though they were probably going to encourage the Chiefs to win, they didn't have to because the Ravens sucked. But it was pretty sad for the missed calls at the end. But, you know, we didn't play well. The Ravens did not play their best game of football. For a team that puts up so many points and has such a high-powered offense and someone as marvelous as Lamar Jackson to only put up 10, I know that Ravens Nation is hurting today.
um well what a boring like moves yeah i mean i just and then i was rooting for detroit for no reason other than like how fun would it be to have yeah you know them in the super bowl and then they blew the detroit hadn't won a playoff game in 30 years so like how how could you not you know be rooting for them like the fact that they were right there next to
one game away to go to a Super Bowl, which has to be one of the coolest ones in the world. Well, and they gave up the first 27-point lead ever, I think, in a championship. No, 17-point lead. Second 17-point lead. Yeah, it was a 24-7 game, man, going in a half. Well, they gave up 27 straight points. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
The Lions kept on going for it on fourth down, right? Like one of them, actually when both of them were dumb as hell in my opinion, it was like fourth and one or fourth and two. I disagree. It was on like the 13 yard line, man. You take points, you know, it's the cheese. You're up by 14 points and the guy hits it. It hits him in his hands. Catch the damn ball. You're a wide receiver. Look at what happened. Well, they lost by three. Yeah. The second one I'll give you is dumb.
hindsight, Nick. No, no, no, man. You take those points, dude. You're on the 12-yard line against a defending Super Bowl champs. You're certainly not... Okay, we'll ask the Lions, Nick. Your argument is dumb as hell. Ask the Lions because they went for it on 4th and 2. If they kick a field goal and they miss it, are we then giving them shit? They're not going to miss a field goal. You're not giving us a chip shot.
That was not a chip shot. That was not a chip shot. It was like negative fucking 40 degrees. Nick, I don't agree with what you're saying. I agree with both of them. I don't agree with the second one. I agree with the first one. Because then that asshole dropped another one. It's now going to be the most boring...
Whatever. I'm not going to shit on the Super Bowl. But look, here's something that happened yesterday. We had girls on the bar crawl wearing Chiefs jerseys that were Eagles fans. And I was like, the Taylor Swift effect is real. They're not only bringing household numbers up instead of it just being the guy watching. They now have fans of other teams purchasing jerseys. Yeah. And spelling Travis's name wrong. Yeah. So the...
I didn't see that. No, but I saw it. I saw it on a blog or whatever, right, where people were making self-made jerseys and they were spelling Travis's last name wrong and stuff. And that's how you really know that these girls didn't care. I'm not saying that everyone doesn't, but those who don't have a dog in the fight now are rooting for Taylor Swift. And now Taylor Swift is going to go to the Super Bowl and usher
And people are going to be like, you know, chanting for her to like, you know, perform at halftime or something. And like she already said no to it. Then they asked her to be in the year and she said no. Usher's the one performing. It was going to turn into the concern was that it would turn into a Taylor Swift concert like the fans. And now it is. So, you know, I just saw a poll that.
It could be up to a fifth of voters this year will vote for whoever Taylor Swift endorses. And I was like, Jesus Christ, this girl has a powerful following. Swifties could go to war. Yeah. On Saturday Night Live, Dakota Fanning was the guest.
And in her monologue, she threw it back to, you know, when she was in the audience for SNL's 30th anniversary or something like that. And she was like, and look at who's in the picture with me.
they zoomed in on her and behind her, it was Donald Trump. And then she was like, I didn't know that I was in a picture with the most powerful person on the planet. And then they zoomed back in and in front of her was Taylor Swift and the crowd went crazy. It was like, so Dakota Fanning was like a subtle nod to Taylor Swift being the most powerful person in the country. It's absurd. Yeah, it is absurd. Not a knock at her, but it just shows you the
Yeah, I just, we're going to take a quick commercial break from a word from our sponsors and we'll be right back. With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. Make saving time your breeziest resolution with quick, convenient recipes.
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America's number one. I would like to talk to you about one of our sponsors, Timeline Nutrition, and one product in particular, MitoPure. MitoPure is one of the first products to offer a precise dose of urolithin A to help upgrade your mitochondrial function, help increase cellular energy, and help improve muscle strength and endurance. I've started taking it recently and I've started to tell that there is definitely this when I work out or I'm active.
But MitoPure does more than just help with my muscles. It can help with health span as well. I want to be one of those granddads one day that you see in the video of him swinging his grandkid around. I want to rely on myself for as long as I possibly can. One way to think of MitoPure is that they are in your cells, chomping up the damaged mitochondria that makes you feel old and tired and helping to recycle it into new healthy ones.
ones. Mitochondria, our cells' power generators, are one of the key influences in how we age. However, as the years pass, mitochondrial efficiency naturally declines, representing a large gap in the quality of life we expect in our later years and the one we experience.
Taking two soft gels a day for two months and you could see significant improvements in your cellular energy, muscle strength, and endurance. After four months of taking Mito Pure, you might feel yourself getting stronger, recovering faster after a workout, and experiencing less inflammation, all part of your healthier aging routine, which is honestly amazing.
Timeline is offering 10% off your first order of Mito Pure. Go to timeline.com slash pillowsandbeer. That's T-I-M-E-L-I-N-E dot com slash pillowsandbeer. These statements and products have not been evaluated by the Friedenslog administration. These products are not invented by no street pure company.
They'll prevent any disease or condition. Make this new school year an opportunity for your kids to learn important life skills with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app for families where kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely while parents keep an eye on kids' money habits. Greenlight also helps families get into their fall routine with a chores feature that lets parents assign chores and pay kids allowance when they check them off.
Get your first month free at greenlight.com slash pod. Greenlight.com slash pod. Welcome back, besties, to Pillows and Beer. This is what I'll say. I will always say this, and I don't think it's a hot take at all, but recently it has been. I think that when you walk up to the voting booth, there should be a list of policies on both sides, and then you vote for the policies that you want. The problem with that is...
I guess now people vote for who they like better as a person, which I guess that is politics, right? Selling yourself. So I understand that there's some, so maybe my, you just sold politics. No, I, yeah, I I'm, I'm working through this, Nick, I'm working through it. So maybe what you do is you have people read, you know, a page on each candidate, at least just one page. And then you vote. I don't know if that would change things, but yeah,
I mean, the way that things are done, the way that things are done now, I must say it is pretty fricking irresponsible. Right. Because it's like, I go in there to vote for maybe one or two, you know, people on the ticket. I mean, I think that I've even texted you, Craig, which I almost kind of hate, hate to like admit to the best he's out there. But like, I was like, Craig, dude, is there someone that like I should be voting for here for like, you know, super like a tenant or something in Charleston that I don't know about. No, that was good. I don't know. You know? And like, that's that.
That's bad, right? That was for the... Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, right? And, you know, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know... Look, I would appreciate a little objective blip...
Especially for the local ones. But I mean, it goes back to the people that run around New York or whatever city, and they're like, can you believe so-and-so is doing this? Or can you believe so-and-so believes this? And then the person's like, heck yeah. It's something basically like that. And they're like, heck yeah. And then they tell them who really said it, and they're completely flabbergasted. But
You know, it's not something that we can control. And I think that's where you have to find peace in it. You know, some people are like, oh, well, you can change things. And it's like, well, no, you don't have to be. You can't. You just in this capacity, you can't. And so I don't know. Do you ever feel that you're irresponsible by not being having a louder voice or or how do you deal with that? Yeah, Craig. I mean, I feel like.
I sometimes, you know, am like a, like, I'm like, wait, man, should I like, you know, jump in on this and say something? You know, I have this whole, whole huge platform and not that, that many of them, you know, care about what I have to say, you know, on said issue, but like,
I mean, it could raise awareness, right? And then another part of me is like, or just shut up and keep in your lane because you really don't know the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, I do feel bad. If I could change one thing, I wish I could have. If I could go back in history and change something recently, it would be that
certain people were able to weaponize that a difference of opinion is a personal attack. And I think it's really led to a diminishing kind of social structure in society where people really think you're evil or the enemy. If you don't agree with them in it, you can see it really tearing stuff apart. But you know, what can you do to change that? All we can do is entertain and make people happy with beer and pillows and moonshine. Yeah.
I mean... Moonshine and fireplaces. We've got everything we need. I mean, I'll never forget the... I'll never forget the Ricky Gervais speech at... I don't remember, man, what it was. Was it the Golden Globes? It was the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes. Shut up. Accept your award. And he's like, everyone...
Who is going to win tonight, what I want you to do is get up, thank your people, thank your God, shut up and sit down because nobody cares about your political preference. You guys don't know shit about the real world. You sit up in your ivory towers. So accept your award and shut the fuck up. And some people clapped. And they panned to some people. I think that they panned to Tom Hanks and he was like,
oh well i don't know about that and i was just laughing i'm like see but that's funny right because you know ricky is a comedian and he took a chance to be like i'm gonna say what i wanna say you know and and you know some of hollywood clapped and thought it was funny and some of the people were like you believe you just said that that's how that is funny and i'm sure there were so many butthurt people in the audience but i mean that's where the electoral college came from was
You were supposed to go into towns and, like, have the auto workers or the wheat farmers or whoever be like, hey, this is who we need to vote for in order to, like, help our people out. And so it was way more localized. And then the electoral college was supposed to go, you know, cast the vote for their people. But it's all so...
Messed up, but again, we're a young country. We're very young. We're not even 400 years old, and there has been way more powerful nations and empires that have...
fallen apart longer than us, but I don't know. It's a, did you know that we're not even Swift effect has done to us, Craig, we're sitting here. We just, you know, meandered into, you know, complete politics and the way that we vote. And well, the fact that Taylor Swift can just encourage a fifth of our country to vote, whatever she says is, is mind boggling to
It would almost be fucking irresponsible of her to endorse someone with how much power that she has. It would almost be just an irresponsible thing where someone's like, all right, I'm going to the polls and can I just type in Taylor Swift? I bet that she gets hundreds of thousands of votes in the US. People are going to be like, write in Taylor Swift. And it's going to be a weird little percentage. They shut down.
They shut down Twitter's search function for a little bit today because of Taylor Swift, which, I mean, this shouldn't happen to anyone, but basically there were so many Taylor Swift deep fakes going around Twitter that you can't search for Taylor Swift right now on Twitter. Like, they turned it off. Wow. Deep fakes.
All right. Well, with that, we're going to take a quick break. And when we come back, we'll have some more here on Pillows and Beer. All right, besties. You know that's the sound of another sale on your online Shopify store. But did you know Shopify powers selling in person too? That's right. Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in-store, on social media, and beyond.
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Shopify, S-H-O-P-I-F-Y.com. I would like to talk to you about one of our sponsors, Timeline Nutrition, and one product in particular, MitoPure. MitoPure is one of the first products to offer a precise dose of urolithin A to help upgrade your mitochondrial function, help increase cellular energy, and help improve muscle strength and endurance. I've started taking it recently and have started to tell that there is definitely when I work out or I'm active.
But MitoPure does more than just help with my muscles. It can help with health span as well. I want to be one of those granddads one day that you see in the video of him swinging his grandkid around. I want to rely on myself for as long as I possibly can. One way to think of MitoPure is that they are in your cells, chomping up the damaged mitochondria that makes you feel old and tired and helping to recycle it into new healthy ones.
Mitochondria, our cell's power generators, are one of the key influences in how we age. However, as the years pass, mitochondrial efficiency naturally declines, representing a large gap in the quality of life we expect in our later years and the one we experience.
Taking two soft gels a day for two months and you could see significant improvements in your cellular energy, muscle strength, and endurance. After four months of taking Mito Pure, you might feel yourself getting stronger, recovering faster after a workout, and experiencing less inflammation, all part of your healthier aging routine, which is honestly amazing.
Timeline is offering 10% off your first order of Mito Pure. Go to timeline.com slash pillowsandbeer. That's T-I-M-E-L-I-N-E dot com slash pillowsandbeer. These statements and products have not been evaluated by the Friedenslog administration. These products are not invented by no street pure commercial.
They'll prevent any disease or condition. Make this new school year an opportunity for your kids to learn important life skills with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app for families where kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely while parents keep an eye on kids' money habits. Greenlight also helps families get into their fall routine with a chores feature that lets parents assign chores and pay kids allowance when they check them off.
Get your first month free at greenlight.com slash pod. Greenlight.com slash pod. Welcome back, besties, to this week's episode of Pillows and Beer. We are talking about all things NFL football, which led to, well, the games from yesterday, which led to Taylor Swift deep fakes. And how do you talk about the NFL these days without talking about Taylor Swift? I can't believe that we're doing it for someone who, like me, who claims to hate, you know,
like, you know, knowing as much as I know about, you know, pop culture, I think that that's just being like a self, you know, hater. Cause like, I kind of love it because here we are. I know everything that there is to know. It feels like about all of this going on. So was, was the NFL game rigged yesterday because Taylor Swift brings in, so, or brought in or an estimated $330 million in
or were the Ravens supposed to be in the Super Bowl along with the 49ers, the NFL was like, we literally can't lose. Like, we cannot lose on this game because the script said that the Ravens were supposed to be in there. But, you know. With the Lions. Ravens-Lions, that would have been cool. But it is what it is. There's a fugitive on the loose in Mount Pleasant, so lock your doors if you are. Really? Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't laugh at that. I just I was just laughing at the quick transition that you just took. Anyways, if you're in the Mount Pleasant area, which is your doors. OK, well, shit, I should lock my doors. Probably not lock. Really? Take me. Just take me.
I always lock my doors. It drives me crazy when my parents lock their doors. They live in a gated community. They're out there, like a golfing community. And when I drive up, because they always drive in their cars, so they open up the garage and then close them. And so they don't lock the downstairs door. But the door that I walk in when I come is the front door. And so I always show up to their house like,
30 40 minutes man prouder dinner and so it's like i'm walking in i'm ready for like a glass of wine or something and like i hit that door handle and it's locked and i just want to like break it down every single time i'm like why would you lock your front door and they're like austin we always lock it and we have like the same conversation every time that i go there so good on them because you should lock your front door no i get it um i just don't know how kids like like
How are kids going to grow up now not having to be like sneaky or naughty at all because they don't have a chance like with the ring doorbells and cameras and stuff like is the sneaking in and out generation that we lived through going to consist of like hacking? Like are our kids all going to know how to turn off our ring doorbell for like 10 minutes while they like sneak in and out? I mean, who knows what?
That looks like the old spy movie thing where they like switch over the feed to an old feed. Yeah. A loop. They're going to loop the camera. Exactly. Whoa. Yeah. How did you sneak out, Greg? What did you used to do? What was your move? So I couldn't sneak out, but we had, I wasn't allowed to stay over at someone's house that didn't have a parent home. So we had one of my best friends,
had divorced parents and so the mom would say that I was staying over there and I mean I think my dad probably knew but my mom definitely didn't and she's like oh well the boys are staying over at like so and so's this weekend and
And looking back on it, it's kind of wild that she used to lie for us. Yeah. I mean, everyone has that house, right? Where the mom would let him drink or the mom would let him whatever. And everyone's like, yeah, man, we're going over to whoever's house.
because the mom would buy beer or would lie like that. That's kind of shady, though, Craig. That's a shady one. And what really happened was on the back porch was a cooler with a 30 rack of Bud Light inside and a handle of Captain Morgan's every Friday. And we had a little fucking crew. And so then we would go out, but I would like...
Somehow go home. I don't know. Fortunately, then we got like a beach house and I used to go there, which I wasn't allowed to. And my dad was like, yeah, I knew you went there, idiot. I just couldn't like. But my rule was to keep me from driving, which I was so dumb.
once or twice in high school and I think that's why I never drank and drove again because I was like I was never drunk but you know like if you're under 21 and you blow anything you can get a DUI because you're not old enough to drink like I feel like you know I used my my luck up for that which yeah I ever tell you about about mine
And that's what scares me about having kids. I'm just like, I mean, they're going to be teenagers and you really do think, you know, better than anyone else, but like you just don't. Of course. I was like a junior maybe, or maybe I was a sophomore. No, I was a junior and I had my car and, and I mean, I went over to this girl's house with another, you know, guy friend or parents were out of town. Right. And like, you know,
I like drove him somewhere to get beer. Right. And he was like, you shouldn't be driving. I was like, you know, I am, you know, golden. I got old. I don't know how, but I, I blew like a 0.06 or something. And I,
Because it took them, you know, ages for like the cops to come. Yes. And I guess that they could have just even hauled me off. Right. Because that's like an underage drinking. Right. But, but because they waited for so long for someone to come with the breathalyzer. Anyways, like I called my dad and my dad, you know, showed up and he,
you know, the cop there was like, I hope that they fuck you. I hope that like you get prosecuted and like a DUI and, you know, and under the influence and, you know, all this stuff. And like my jaw dropped and, you know, my parents almost killed me, but that was basically the last time like I drank and it's like, okay, uh, the drinking and driving thing is not cool. Right. I mean, I was in high school. I was like, you know, bumping probably like
chameleon air you know they see me rolling right i thought i was like the coolest thing uh because i was driving and my only college my dad was like something's gonna happen you know like i understand like you might get in trouble but if it's for a dui like you're paying for your own college like there's no reason to ever get a dui wait that's what you just rode home with your dad i rode i rode home with my dad i don't even know what i did with my car that night i really don't
don't know if I left it there and we went back the next day and got it. Or if the cop was like, like follow your dad home right now. But then again, that would be the most like, like an irresponsible move ever. So they probably just told me to jump in with my dad. Did you get in double trouble like by your parents because you were drinking or they knew that you drank already?
They did not know that I drank already and they did not know where I was because what it was, going back to how I used to sneak out, was that my house, we had an alarm system, but they didn't arm it. They didn't arm the thing. So whenever you opened a door,
it would just go beep, beep, beep. Right. But it beeped in my mom's room and my mom was the lightest sleeper and she always knew when I came and went. But so prior to leaving, I used to crack open the back door and so that it didn't do the beep, beep, beep thing. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. And then I would leave it cracked.
And then that's how I would drive out and come back in. And man, did I know every floorboard that creeped and every stair that creeped. And I'd jump over, you know, that third step and like that eighth, you know, and 12th. And I was like, geez.
you know, jumping up these stairs. I was like a nimble cat, but, um, that, that was my method for sneaking out. That dude, that's it. That's a, um, a, a big enemy to people trying to sneak out or in is the door chime. And I, that unlocked a memory for me. I used to turn the chime off at some point, like during the evening. Um, I, I didn't know how to, I don't know.
yeah it was just like a thing man that thing was always beeping like it was always beeping and because like i grew up with it it was just like a way of life almost now i've never really heard that at like a friend's house and my parents didn't have the back spiral staircase to the top porch back then so like yeah i i got the thing i got caught doing was like having a party at our beach house and the cleaners like showed up the next day like my dad's employees and they like
They walked in and were like, it was me and like all my friends. And they told my dad. Then my mom found the, actually my, what the only time that I, one of the times I got really got in trouble was my dad made me come home from work and he was throwing all my shit out in the driveway. I mean, this is back in the nineties or no, you know, early two thousands. And he found like an ounce of weed in the bread basket above the fridge at our beach house and,
And he was so angry and I like had no idea what was going on. He was doing the whole routine like, I can't believe you motherfucker, you know, like, you know what you did. And I in my head, I'm like, oh, God, like what? You know what? What did he catch me doing?
And then my mom was like, he found your drugs or something. And I was like, wait, I don't have any drugs. I was like, and I didn't smoke weed back then. And finally we figured out and it got calm enough that one, one time I was having a party at the cottage and the cops came and
And my stupid friend, like the weed dealer guy, hit his drugs above our fridge and forgot where he put them. And he just left the fucking drugs in my house. Yeah, that that happened to me, too. That happened to me. No way. It's a weed, for God's sakes. But well, like a sandwich bag, whatever, like a sandwich bag. Yeah, right. Right. My my dad found my dad found a fucking gas mask.
Do you remember using those? I mean, I didn't do that. I remember seeing my degenerate friends. Yes. Yes. I've always had just like a low ass tolerance, you know, for weed. I mean, I used to love to smoke it like in doses, you know, I didn't love to hit to hit like a roar and take like a huge, you know, bong rip because it would just destroy me. But my buddy had brought over a gas mask and like an, you know, eight inch tall, tall bong or something that, that edit like a tout that it,
it attached to. And he left it there. And I went to the beach house the next day and I told a friend to go get it. And I was like, Hey, go and get this thing and make sure that it's out of my house. And they fucking called me and they were like, Hey,
we're on your back porch your door's locked and i was like no no no i left it unlocked like on purpose and they're like we're looking in and like we're looking at it and we can see it and i was like no and so on sunday i wake up and i'm like all right i'm uh headed back to charlotte and my mom was like all right well you know your dad left you know 30 minutes ago so like you and i riding home together and i was like no you know and so my mom and i and the whole way i'm like
Oh my God. Oh my God. And my dad, I mean, kudos to him. He, he even kept it to himself. He didn't tell my mom. Like, but like he, but like he pulled me aside and was like,
you have to get so fucking high that you have like a gas mask. I was like, dad, I promise you it's not mine. And like, you can toss it if you want to. Cause like, I don't care, but I'm, I'm just like embarrassed as hell. And he didn't tell my mom because my mom would have raised hell. You know, she would have raised. Wow. What a fucking move by your dad. I know, man. Wow. That's a solid, uh,
Solid move. But yeah, finding a gas mask is insane. Were you like the type of kid that built the like toilet paper, like paper towel thing that you blew in that had dryer sheets? So you smoked in your parents' house? Yes. I would have. Yeah, that would scare the shit. I remember smoking a black and mild on the roof once and that was a big deal. A spoof. No. Spoof, that's right. A spoof. A spoof.
a paper towel roll with dryer sheets. Sorry, mom. And on the end of it. And yeah, when you breathe into it, it literally would come out, you know, smelling like a dryer sheet. It was, it was genius. Yeah, it was genius. I don't know. I got caught smoking a black and wild on my roof once. My dad knew everything I was doing. And it's funny now that we tell, we tell stories when Paige is home and Christopher's fiancee,
And my mom is the most wide-eyed one at the table. She's like, thank God I didn't know any of this was going on. Yeah, it was grades that screwed me one time with my mom. Because the school system, they started using a new grading system. And the thing failed, so it gave everybody 50s. And my mom got the report card and her email. It was like, why are you failing every class? She came in and threw my phone out the window. She threw my PlayStation against the wall. She went ballistic.
And I get to fucking school the next day, you know, that day. And my history teacher goes, yes, I got a call for your mom. Sounds like you had a fun day. I had an 80 in the class. Apparently, like the school system just crashed when it sent out report cards.
That's what did me in. What did it say that you had? 50s in every single class. Like I was failing all my classes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a coming to Jesus moment too. I mean, on my wall, I had like a Bob Marley poster and Jim freaking Morrison and –
She came in there one day because I got caught smoking weed. And she ripped them all off. And she was like, are these your idols? And I was like, not anymore. They're not. It's like, whatever you say. I mean, she had me cowering in the corner. I was never a poster guy until like surf posts. I think I had surf posters. Dude, I had so many snowboarding pictures that I would just even rip out a page and put up on my wall. I mean, my wall was covered with snowboarding pics.
Absolutely covered. All right, guys. And with that, that concludes this week's episode of Pillows and Beer. We will see all of our Phoenix besties on Thursday at 7 p.m. We cannot wait. There are still some tickets left. Go to pillowsandbeer.com. I'm not sure if there are VIPs left, but I'm very excited. Very excited. This is our last show of this leg of the tour. Well, this version of this tour of this tour. So, yeah.
The Austin and Craig pillows and beer era tour 2.0 is coming to an end. So,
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