TOBI On His NEW STUDIO, NEW HOUSE & NEW SIDEMEN Videos!!
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- Yo, what's up guys and welcome back to the What's Good Podcast. - Woo!

We have Tobe Jizzle. Hello. Thank you. You know, Joe Weller's not really around anymore, but I like how he said Tobe Jizzle. That's one thing that he used to make me laugh about all the time. Joe Weller. Tobe Weller. Joe Weller. You would have said something like Tobe Jizzle. I don't know why you used to make me laugh when you said that, but I know it's not very nice. You used to hate it, right? Or you still do? Yeah, I imagine you would. I didn't hate it. When a brand writes Tobe Jizzle. Oh, yeah, because they're a brand. They should have done their research. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Yeah, I mean, I remember when, you know. What do you remember? Because you don't seem to remember. I'm not sure. What's your name?

Toby Brown. Okay, but I mean the chat when I you put like your actual Tobit. Yeah, and I was like, oh no JJ did that too. Yeah, just like the old you made a mistake So I look at that time I love his own name love I'm gonna put crying face. He's like, that's my name. Yeah That's my name on my birth certificate. That's it's a biblical name is Hebrew. Sick man. What does he brew? What does he brew? No

- Water into wine. - Sick man, I could do that. - What, how, what? - All right, here's what you do, right? You got a table, but what you do is you get a table with one of those like under tables and then you have the water here and then the wine below and you go, oh, just turn around and they turn around and you go, oh yes, and they come back and they're like, oh my God, how'd that wine get there? I'm like, well, you know.

- That's South Park by the way, South Park did that. - Jesus is there, he goes, "Turn around, turn around." They all turn around and he does it. - Ah, blasphemy. - No, but for real, you should not do that, man. You should not make fun of like- - I feel like you're really struggling already. - We've been doing it for ages, right? - When was the last time you did a podcast? - We did it the day after the Stag do. - The day we got back. - The day we got back from the Stag do. - 'Cause I popped in beforehand. - What'd you think of that trip?

- I had a great time. - Yeah? - Yeah, I'd say like top three trips. Maybe my, no, top three, top three. - What would you say the other top two are? - Ayia Napa. - Oh yeah. - You're talking your trips or like troop trips, sidemen trips, et cetera. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - I only heard myths of this one. - Ayia Napa as in? - Joe Weller? - Not everyone was there. - The one with Toastmallow. - Toastmallow. - With what? - Joe Weller. - I do love Joe Weller by the way. I feel like I was wrong at the start for what I said, but I meant more like because.

He's just like he's in like forests and stuff now, isn't he? Do you know what's up there as well the Vegas where Randy kept having brandy moment? So that the free store about that is we were in that was right speak of Joe Weller Did she right after we went right that's when the Dow Flew over as well and signed with Floyd's team. Yeah, which is funny. He also didn't have his a Esther

So he missed his first flight, then he had to get another one, get another flight. Imagine if he didn't go, he would have never have had that sign in. But I was obviously still filming for JJ at that point. I've not really been on trips. I don't really understand how the whole money shit worked, really. I just thought shit happened. So we were in JJ's...

So me and cow in his suite for some reason we'd like twin beds next to each other and every morning We have breakfast sweet. Yeah, so yeah the sweet had a really you have to the big MGM suites Yeah, so then every morning we go downstairs and just order what you want like food wise I was like, okay cool. I should order like pancake like bear shit and I was like, oh

halfway through the trip I was like wait JJ are you paying for this breakfast he's like yeah I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm not ordering because he was obviously on a high after his fight so he was ordering like it's like a banquet every morning don't blame the fight he would have done it regardless yeah but I was just like I didn't shit on and I was like wait I don't know why I just assumed I don't know what I assumed it's all free yeah I was like

- I felt really bad. - Was that the same trip that you took a picture with Jeff Mayweather? - Yeah, he wasn't looking at me. - He's like this, holding the camera. Jeff Mayweather's just looking at me. - It's 'cause I asked for a photo and I thought he said yes, but he just probably didn't hear you. - He didn't know what was going on. - That's the same trip as Call the Police. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was. - I can't believe that I got dragged into that. - Because you were wearing, 'cause Freezy was wearing your shorts.

- Yeah, good times. - Yeah, that was a crazy time. What else happened on that trip? That was, we played some Topgolf, although we did Topgolf every time. - Every time. - Pretty much every time. - Those are the main things I can remember. The smoke and the cigar backwards is iconic. - Yeah. Harry was in a bush, I remember that as well. That was at Topgolf. - I missed the Skylofts, man. I really enjoyed that. - We need another trip already. - What? - We need another trip. - I need to financially recover from a big stagmite. - Honestly, same. - Well, doesn't yours just go through the account?

I still need to financially recover. - Yeah, yeah, I get you. But I mean, you are also in the Sidemen, so I wouldn't worry too much. - I got paid for the first time in five months. - I heard about this, I heard about this. - He has also just spent some money. - Yes. - If you saw his latest video, he has a studio now.

- Wow. - I skimmed through it, I wanna see it for my first time in real life. - I was actually gonna react to it, yeah. - Okay, we should probably take this one. - I'm not gonna lie, I have already seen like a couple clips. So I've seen what it looks like, but. - It's different when you're in there. - Yeah. - You don't think what? - You know when you wake up in the middle of the night and you like go to the toilet, but you're like trying to keep your eyes closed to like not wake up. That's why I was like watching the clips in the video. 'Cause I wanna see it in real life. So I was like watching it and I was like, oh cool, cool. I saw Harry do some bars.

- They were quite disrespectful to you. - Very, very disrespectful. - I haven't seen those. - Even the whole, okay, let me not explain. - No, no, go for it, go for it. - Even the whole time, it's just there, just like- - Humping the wall. - Humping everything, saying this is what's gonna be happening in Toby's studio. - Right. - He's like, "Oh, I think I got a studio contract."

- Yeah. - And you know what I said on the other thing is that I said, "This is why we can't do anything good in the Sidemen because every time someone tries to do something positive, we just shit on it." Like they pretend you're fucking charitable organization. - I know, I got that TikTok too. I got that TikTok too. It's Harry being like, "Oh, I've never seen anything come from it. It's just him taking the money for himself."

- Also, I think it is like a lot of like, when it's on TikTok, people just believe it. - They believe everything. - I saw a comment saying Toby's a renowned skit. I was like, great, this is my life now. - I saw comments on the one of Harry saying that where they're like, you know what? I've never seen any school trips sooner. Why would you have? Why would you have seen a school trip if you're like a 37 year old man? - It's not broadcast on BBC. - I'd be worried if you seen it.

Well, the bad one was on this. By the way, guys, I will apologize to JJ on this podcast because I said some things about him that he didn't like. Actually, he didn't mind them. I watched him react to it. He was like, oh, and then he's like, oh, Hop was a great baby. I was like, okay, cool. So are you apologizing or not? What's going on? No, but what I will say is that people, for example, I was like in the podcast saying, oh, you know, JJ left the villain and stuff as friends do, right? And then all the comments on TikTok were like, oh, JJ needs to humble himself. I'm like, no, it's not deep. Just like friends, but I guess because he's got such a big audience, people take it, you know,

- He didn't like the beds and I can't blame him. - Which is fine, yeah, which is fine. - The beds in Italy were all awful. - Yeah, they weren't great. And I got bit like- - Yeah, I came back- - They don't like your blood so you're lucky. - Really? - Yeah. - His blood stinks. - Didn't get a bit. - Everyone wants it. - Well, I stayed in that whole like two weeks, I stayed in four different hotels and three of them, the beds were literally bricks. - Oh really? - Yeah, so it is just Italy. - Italian beds. - Yeah. - They're built differently. - Sorry guys.

Bricks. You know what? No, fair play. That was actually decent. I like that one. Because you said they feel like bricks. Yeah, so you said they're built different. Like bricks, yeah. I went on to a little holiday in like north of England way. I was in a bed and that was awful. Where was that? A place called Northumberland.

- Northumberland or Northumberland? - Past Newcastle. - Yeah, past Newcastle. That's why it was on a Sunday and Harry was like, "Do you wanna come in for Saturday tomorrow?" And I was like, "You know what? I just said no for the first time ever." I was like, "I just can't get down that. Couldn't do that far." - I'm gonna be honest with you. You will be so happy you weren't in there. - Really? - In what? - It was the first video we recorded the other day. - Oh.

- Incredible video. I had a great time. I also had a horrendous time. - Okay. - Genuinely one of the most painful forfeits I have ever experienced. Like genuinely. - Okay, bless. - And I'm also glad I did it because I'll give you a slight spoiler. It was me and JJ on a team and he actually spun the forfeit and I was gonna make him do it on his own but he's like, "No, let's do it together, man. We're brothers, we're brothers, whatever." If I hadn't done that, I would've thought he was exaggerating. - Basically he tricked you into doing it with him.

Yeah, it's fine. And then I took the other forfeit for him as well, but that's fine too. Exactly. He ain't doing it for you. No, it's fine. No, he was going to, he was going to. I pulled him away from that one. But yeah, genuinely, I would have thought he was exaggerating. It was horrendous. Basically, video coming up. We won't explain it. Yeah, don't. Harry...

Harry hosted it and he came up with some forfeits which he was meant to get approved in the chat by one of us he well we were doing another video and um I said like oh what have you got like forfeits or anything because I'm trying to think of something for mine blah blah and he was like oh yeah I'm gonna write a list of like 20 and then I'll send you them all over and you can like pick which ones you think for this one and for this one yeah never sent it

Turn up to the video and he hasn't tested any of these forfeits. None of them. Like they are all bad. Like thought ideas but not executed. Conceptualized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so then it happens and everyone's in pain. And I'll be honest, I got out very lucky from this by the way. Like ridiculously lucky. But it was just like everyone's there in pain and he's kind of like, oh, I didn't think it would be that bad. I've got like an image of everyone like, fuck.

- I think you and Vik escaped. - Yeah. - Everyone else got fucked. - That's not bad for a thing. - But also he messaged me again and this time he didn't say, do you wanna be in this video? He just said, keep these dates free. So I was like, okay. - I didn't get that message. - Well, you're in the side, you probably in your calendar already.

- I don't know what it's for. - I don't know what it's for. - I'll say it a bit. - But yeah, that video is coming up in like two or three weeks, I think. When it happens, you'll know, 'cause you'll see everyone slowly. We enjoy the video for the first like 30 minutes and then the rest of the video is all of us going, "I don't want to be here." - "I don't want to be here." - "I don't want to play." - Okay. Is our friend Callum in it? - No. - No. - Oh, okay. - What are you talking about? - He puts it in the chat. I thought it was related to that. - No.

- This is strictly Sidemen. - Enough secrecy. - We recently did a deal or not a deal? - I saw this. Well, sorry, let me rephrase. I saw you posted it. - So you didn't watch it? - No. - You see Ethan, I'm joking. - Why, what happened? - It hooned. - Oh, no, no, I don't watch any. I don't watch any Sidemen videos. I watch more Sidemen. It's my favorite channel. - Great channel. - But yeah, main channel hooned. - Really? - Yeah. - But across the two- - So four million channels.

But we posted, we had two rounds. So we had Zoo and Jamie and then we had Freezy and Chip. On the second channel. Yeah, it was going to be together, but then it was like an hour and 10 minutes of this game. Yeah. It's a long time. Yeah. So yeah, we split them up.

I think it's a good video. It is a really good video. Yeah, I mean like, if you want to talk about good videos flopping, just check my channel. Nick, do not go on my channel. I literally, it's probably my worst performing video I've ever posted. Yeah, well, check it. It's another view for you. Yeah. Please don't. Don't let Nick ruin my day. Check it. Check it. No, don't. Please don't, guys. You can look like. No, I'll just. What if it's picked up in the last however long? Yeah, mate. It's got 11,000 views. Oh, no, Randy.

- Oh no, Randy. - It's doing worse than British Idiot Tries American Cereal for the first time. - Okay, that's not done well. - Yeah, I said don't click it, man. I messaged Upload, I was like, "Can you give me a month off?" Like, no more brand deals. - Wait, is that a brand deal? - Yeah, don't laugh at that, man, 'cause they'll watch this. - There you go, that's another view. - Thanks, but it's a good video, by the way. - Everyone go watch Randy's fucking video, please. Help this man. - I saved the last one, that flop.

- But all content channels, we're struggling out here. I mean, content fricking, but I've realized I'm gonna make, I will make better videos. - I think having a brand deal every single video hinders it so much. - I know, I know, I know. - Hinders it? - Yeah. - My last two have been air up. - You haven't posted- - Well, that was air up as well. - You haven't posted in like a while, right? - They're two months apart. - Yeah. - But that wasn't my fault. - The two months apart is like- - Oh, it's a break. - Yeah, but if I was doing like a weekly or every other week, that often and putting a brand deal in every single video,

- Philly D gets away with it. - Who? - Philip DeFranco. - Yeah. - He hasn't stopped since day one. He doesn't stop. If you don't stop, you just- - It's so natural. - But you're also watching- - Corrodi from Reason, I think. I don't think you're watching Philly for-

- Entertainment more informational. - I'll explain it this way. I don't think it's bad to put a brand new into every video if you keep the standard of every video high. Like for example, if MrBeast, if every video had an integration in it, it wouldn't be that bad 'cause you know he's gonna put it in properly. - Yeah. - It's gonna be a sluggish video. My problem is I did 12 in a row, 12 air-ups in a row. And it was like,

So now it's just like every just drain into the go and do another one another one another one you stop like I stop creating a video Idea and concept you end up just rushing to get it out deadline stuff So that's why I said they often be more I was like I asked him can you give me one month off today gets things or then I'll go again You know, I mean you can say no no, I know but also I just I feel bad - I've turned a lot of brand deals down but I like I feel really bad when I do it cuz then I like See how much it was. I was like actually I stuck like really good money. I

For my family. I get it. Yeah, I get that. I get that. I just try and turn a brand new into the video. Yeah. Well, like if they're like, oh, here's this much, that's how much I'm spending on the video. That's what I said. I said to him, I was like, can you give me like,

Can you stagger if you give me like an increase in like pay for like hitting 500,000 views? I will hit that. I'll go make a good video, but it's like I just kind of ran and also incentivized brand deals Yeah, but I also live in three hours away now. It's really hard to get things lined up You know, but I'm gonna move I'm gonna get an office here again I'm gonna like hire someone some don't just like or don't it to do like like concept like I'll give them an idea and they just go and get it and

- I think you should change that title. - To what? I've tried like four titles. - British idiots, guess the emoji. - Okay, bless. - Yeah. - British idiots did better. - Yeah, British idiots as well. - And then if that doesn't work, do,

bearded man and bald man type beat. - Hairy chin and hairless head. - Yeah, yeah. But I mean, it's a tough one. 'Cause also what's weird about YouTube these days- - I found Paul Breach. - Yeah, for the day. - That's true. - Comforting Paul Breach. - I like that. But the thing is, if I put that video on my second channel, it probably would do really well after a while. - Yeah, it's just the content that people are expecting on that channel.

- The thing is, not now, but if you go back to my, I've always done that. I've always done shit videos like that. But it's also been like KSI and stuff rather than Theo Baker. But that's not just to Theo, it's also just to myself.

- I don't know, it's kind of a dissapear. - I think you should just change it, man. You gotta be, that's actually made really good videos now. - You have to be on your game still. - Yeah, yeah. - No, you don't. - Well, you are minimalist, so you gotta- - I was gonna say my last video banged. - Yeah, but you put a football, you can put a fucking football pitch in your house. - That's on your game in a way. It's not on your game in terms of- - Okay, it is a little bit. It's a good title and thumbnail, but in terms of the vlog,

- Yeah. - The video itself is very simple. - It's an update video. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But putting a football pitch in your yard is crazy. - Yeah, no, I do get that. But if it was like, if I'd called it, you know, like an update, it would have done. - Oh yeah, it would have probably done like 1.7 million views.

- I'm chicken. - Should call it steak and movies. - British idiot builds football pitch in garden. - Why am I an idiot now? - He's an idiot. - He's not falling off. - People like to watch stupid people. This is what- - No, they do, they do, they do. - This is why we're here. - True. - I knew I expected them, man. But it's just-

Steak and movies 2.6 M's you are nine mil on the second channel. Yeah, man I'm pretty sad. I know what music's behind that too Might not be but Back in that time it was yeah every single time. So what are you gonna make in your studio then? So I want to do first of all

I'm not limited to when I can go studio now to do my own projects. So I've got like, I was going through them yesterday. I got so many unreleased songs with Manny that need to be perfected, obviously. Yeah. So I'm going to work on them, release them. I also want to do like little,

Collaborative content pieces where like I might go with Randy for a YouTube video. I call we make a little EP and again We go can we do one as well opposite? Yes, yes you can thanks an EP called air up Hey, I'll do that you need a drip drip first song second song Aquafina and

Third song. Retro nasal smelling. I was thinking the same thing, man. But yeah, I might go and record a video around it. And then we've actually got a music project that we can release. Yeah. And then, yeah, I don't know, man. I just want to, I want to go when I'm in the studio and I'm listening to music, that's when I get creative. So yeah.

I've been in there literally three days this week already, and I'm going in again today. You should chill. If you want to chill in there as well, just like, yeah, chill. I've got a TV there, PS5. I've got a Nintendo Wii now that I can probably add to the collection. The old one? Yeah, the Wii. Yes. The Wii. Old school. Sick, man. The classic. Best console. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes I think of topics that like... This happens so much. Yeah, but I can't sell a podcast because like political correctness and stuff. Back to the studio, man. Yeah, no, studio. Yeah, just going to make loads of projects, release it. I want to release that other song on SoundCloud. Yeah. You know the song I'm talking about. Yes. Yes, you do. Okay. Nathan Doerr. Yes. I'm going to drop that on SoundCloud. I'm waiting for Manny to give me the all-clear. That's the name of the song, by the way.

He's done a song called Nathan Doll. Sick man. I'm waiting for Manny to give me the all clear because he's like, ah, but is it a waste to just drop it? I'm like, they're not going to clear it at this point so I might as well. Oh, I know what you mean. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Studio will be productive. So when are we going to get a Tobe Jizzle show? A show? Yeah. When are we going to do it? Oh, a music show. Yeah. Oh, bro. I put myself on a game show set. Yeah. Come on down. I have 10 cats or dogs. Thank you. Um,

I don't know. That's not, I don't, as much as it would be cool to like perform, it's not really the goal. I think I'd want to do it like once or twice, but it's not really, I don't want to be like on stage all the time. Just, you know what I mean? - Touring, you know. - I just like being creative. - So if JJ does a show and he's like, "All right, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna release a song and then we'll do another,

O2 arena or something like that. - If JJ asked me to perform at O2, I'll come out and perform at O2. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Let's go. - Okay. - I'd be fucking nervous though. - He's mentioned this a couple of times, you know, of like, he was like, oh, we should do like a Sidemen festival or something like that. And he was like, yeah, we could do one stage where the Sidemen perform. And you know, like for example, I would have to do the diss track. We could do a couple of songs that we've done. You do your songs, Josh does "Sabaka", stuff like that.

You can pick a better Josh song now. True, yeah, Tommy T. But then I said in the chat, I was just like, I don't want to do that. I have no want to perform. Never, not once. I would love, I love the idea of it way more than I do it. But I sit and like, if I'm looking at the mirror and I try and,

Sing my own lyrics. I can't do it. I mess up every- - I know what you do. - What? - Two shots of vodka and you'll be blessed. - You'll be so blessed. - Two shots. - Yeah. - Drunk Simon might be my favorite song. - A little bit aggressive. He's playing basketball. He's like, "Hey, watch this. I drain it. Shut the fuck up." - And I drained it. - He drained it drunk, crazy. - To the poker guy as well, he's a bit aggressive to him.

- Oh, no, he was being annoying. - He wasn't getting your wavelength. - He was being annoying, that guy. - Well, no, 'cause he was like, "Where you from?" He's like, "Birmingham." You're like, "Oh, sorry." I think that set the scene. - No, that was the first thing. I was like, "Oh, where you from?" 'Cause he was English. Like, we're in Ibiza and it's English accent. "Where you from?" He's like, "Birmingham." I'm like, "I'm sorry." And he just doesn't smile. He doesn't laugh. I'm like, "Okay." - Maybe he was offended. - Probably, but it's a joke.

I'm not gonna sit there and go, oh, it's a joke. I'm a comedian. - No, I know, I know. - But to be fair, he was weird anyway. He literally filmed the whole thing. - What? - Oh yeah, you went out. - I went to sleep. - He said like, oh, is it cool if I get a couple pictures for like the website and stuff? 'Cause we were playing on their tables that are branded and stuff like that. Is it cool if I get a couple pictures? And everyone's like, yeah, go for it. You know, thinking he'll get- - Couple snaps. - Yeah.

25 minutes of solid filming pictures where he's like zooming into like JJ's face and his cards. Yeah, like but honestly she's like doing this It wasn't even like he was filming because it was like JJ or like excitement or anything He didn't even know because even towards the end he didn't know about anything. Yeah, I'm not prime He was just he was just like trying get real creative shots So we were kind of like just let him you could tell it wasn't like bait. Yeah, it was more just like oh

- It's just having fun. - Nah, but like one of my pet peeves is when, you know when someone comes up to you and they ask for a photo and you're prepared for a photo and then they start videoing it up. I wasn't prepared for the, you said photo. If you want a video, ask for the video and we'll do that. Just let me prepare. - Bro, there's so many videos of me out there that are just,

- Yeah, yeah. - Just standing still and they're like moving around. - Yeah. - What scares me more, back in the day, every photo you would take, you'd see, you got mentions on Twitter and it pop up. It doesn't pop up anymore. 'Cause they go on like Snapchat and like Instagram and stuff. Sometimes you would miss them. So I'm like, there's so many photos that I just don't see anymore. - Oh yeah, you never see it. - They take a photo and it's gone. Or in their friend group. - If you take a photo, tag us. - At least we can see it, just wanna make sure I look good. - But if you don't, then what? - Usually the angle's like this.

I'm like, please. So I was driving into the day and I was just sweating because I was fucking hitting it. And this guy's like, can I get a picture? I was like, yeah, but can you please put golf in the background? Because like, I'm just sweating. I don't want it to be a random picture. Can you please show that I'm exercising? Yeah, please prove it, man. Some people say when they take the photos, they hold it like, they hold it above their head, but they're quite short. So they hold it like pointing downwards and I'm behind them. So it's cutting off at like,

my chest yeah so my top half isn't in it and some days i do the whole like you know you crouch down you smile whatever sometimes i can't be bothered so you just let them get a picture of your chest so i just stand up and until they change the camera and some people don't yeah so they just get a picture yeah my chest down for me the worst one is when like i'm with you boys and someone wants to get a photo with like you guys so i don't go in it because i'm like i'm not gonna be in it if they don't ask then oh no run to get in then they've already framed it so then i have to like

I have to squeeze in. I'm really trying hard to get in the photo. So I was at the freezes after their fail thing and we're in a pub and the photo is literally freezy, right? And my head, like a thumb, just like sideways. I'm like, everyone look at Randy trying to beg it in. I'm like, I don't even want to be in it, man.

- It's the most fucking worst thing. - Or the worst part is when they take a photo of you, tag you and then they've like censored their face. - Why you covered your face? - There's the ones that they take the picture and it's just you and it's like the side of their sideburn. Not even the, like, get in the picture, get in the picture man. - Could have Googled that. - Thanks, John. That's really professional. - Is that for me? - It's open now, I can't throw it.

- Just walk in, Jon. - Watch he's gonna launch us as well. - For injurers. - We're not insured. - I think he threw two. - Nice. - Well, speaking of meeting fans, I recently went to Dubai. - Dubai. - I did two meeting greets while I was there. - Woo, I saw the sound maps. - Yeah, you like it? - No. - It's really fast.

- It's a time lapse. - It was like too fast, man. It was just like. - Bro, it's a time lapse. - Yeah. - What did you want? You wanna see everyone? - Sorry, I didn't decide. - You wanted an hour long video. - Action replay. - No, sorry. I'm sorry, I loved it, man. - What was the vibe in Dubai?

it was right we had my podcast now bro i went we didn't know what time the show was and it was at like 5 p.m what were you doing and was that you lot on stage like so i did the meet and greet at like 5 5 30 yeah and then we did like two and a half hours of like a live gaming competition it was like a global team versus a local team okay and um so you were global shout out jukies shout out grant shout out demi

- I know Grant, I know Demi, I know all of them. I know Simon. - Yeah? - Nice photo of you. - But we turned up the night before and it was 40 degrees. - At night? - No, it was about 32 at night. - Quick question, you said Celsius and centigrade, what's the difference between those two? - They're the same. - Why? - They're just different names. - Who made, okay, carry on, sorry. - God did. - God did?

but yeah um i realize now i really don't like meet and greets because there's always like a time limit and i feel like people yeah yeah because the security there were really good and really nice but after 20 minutes of the meet and greet they started going like we're not going to finish in time if we carry on like this yeah so someone would take a photo and security would just literally be like okay you got the photo and just kind of push them out all right it's just a bit it's a bit weird isn't it well that's one of the reasons why we stopped doing them is

It's like you can't ever give people the level of satisfaction that they want for them things. Especially if you're coming to pay for me. Like when we did the, what was it? The tour? The book tour. Was it a book tour? Yeah. Yeah. You're paying tickets for a meet and greet to meet like people that you look up to or whatever. And then you literally got, hi, nice to meet you. Bye. And it's like, yeah, that was awful. Yeah. So I think that's one of the main reasons we stopped doing that. You ever done a meet and greet? Yeah. I don't want to tell you about it though.

That's good for a point. No, I just I'll say off camera But I did do a weird make me agrees for new age. My dad doesn't it what in the meeting on the queue? Yeah, I made your dad cue to me. I went live in Turkey for a bit You know, you know when you do things right and you have friends that always like some friends will just buy tickets to support you but it's some words like I should come for free which it's not problem, but it's like I

Sometimes it's nice to show someone that you care. So he was living in Turkey for a bit and it wasn't a plan to come back. And then I did a show in Nottingham and he bought a VIP and surprised me. - That's really cute. - Yeah, and he was like, "I wanted to do it to show you that I care." - Aw. - So that's why I really like my dad. - That's why you like dad. - That's what I was gonna say. - Before that I was like, "Fuck this guy." - Not because his sperm made you. - You're not my dad. - No, I'm self-made. - My sperm fucking... - Your sperm?

- When I was sperm, I was like, "Fucking, I'm getting in there." - You fought to get in your mum. - Fuck, I guess, yeah. - That's nuts. - That's jokes. - Hey, deep it. - We did, we all did. - Conception's actually a race to your mum. - Yeah.

- Oh no! - You've ruined a beautiful thing, man. - I've ruined it. - Randy, you've ruined it. Beautiful, ruined, beautiful. I don't know. Anyway, can we just, I love Jon, man. - What? - The whole head in it just, Simon's been to Dubai. - What was the vibe? - The only question is what was the vibe? - What does that mean? - That's the general way. - It's all we need, I just love it, I just love it, man. It's so sick. He's a raise, man. - What do you mean, what was the vibe? - How was it?

- You were there. - Hold on, no, no, no. Have you got a mic on? Have you got a mic? - Yeah. - Okay, I wanna know, one question. What was it? Did you fly business? - Yes. - Did you like it? - I enjoyed it very much, yeah. It was pretty sick. - Although he turned into a proper diva again. - Oh no. - Did you? - Why? - I didn't. - You're changing on me, bro. - I take advantage of the fact that we're in business class.

They just kept grabbing everything. Where's my drink? Where's my Bloody Mary? I did not do that. You called a Mary a Bloody Mary? That's crazy. I very overly politely a couple of times was like, oh, I'm sorry. I don't suppose you have that Bloody Mary I asked for. I didn't go, excuse me, where is it? Repeat requests? Wow. He also, we walked, you have to walk through first class to get to business. Emirates. Is this not, are we not going in first class? No, that is not what happened.

- You went, I've been first class before. - Have you? - When I was like 12. - Oh, I thought you- - We got upgraded, yeah. - I thought you said the other day you'd never been in like business. You meant business. - Yeah, I haven't been in business. - But you've been first. - I've never been that low. - I'm not poor. - I've never been that poor. - And what, you were meeting fans as well? - Yeah, that was really weird. I've never, like it's happened like five times in my life, but there were like 50 people asked. - A lot of people. - 50 people? - A lot of people. - What kind of-

Aspect ratio is that. What phone is that? - That is a ruler. - It's really tall. - The thing is I look sweaty in all of them though. That's the problem. - You should ask them to show the golf. - Or just not sweat. - Yeah, sure. - What was the vibe? - What was the vibe bro? - It's real fun. Me and Simon, we bonded and we became best friends. - Simon and I. - Simon and I bonded. - You know what I've realized? Nothing about John. I've realized that gamers that play certain games can't play other games.

- I thought going into this like gaming competition, obviously it was more fun than it was. - You're calling out Jukies? - Jukies was awful. - At what? - What game did you play? - So we started on, Fall Guys was first. - Okay. - Everyone on my team was awful. - Nah, but you are like a sweat. - You're a sweat. - Brother. - No, you are. - Jukies didn't complete a level, so I said to him, I went, "Go sabotage them and I'll play for you as well."

So I played my controller, won the race, swapped to his and still beat Grant. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. You are a sweat. I am a sweat. I know I am. Although I did say this when we were playing yesterday. I was like, I think I'm better than him at games, but like I haven't played as much. You think you're better than Simon at games? If we both played the same amount of time, hours in games. You think you're better than this man at games? Yeah. Because I feel like...

- I don't know man. - When I play video games, I don't analyze. I will make the same mistake over and over again. When Simon plays video games, he'll analyze what he does wrong, correct it straight away and then smash the level. - We've played Uno 19 times and he still doesn't know how to play. If you can't pick up Uno. - I've played twice. - If you can't pick up Uno, you're not adept at picking up. - All he does is pick up in Uno.

No, he lays pick up fours and people just go, challenge. And he goes, what the fuck does this mean? Ready for this? Randolph fails Monopoly. Nah, I wouldn't have. Anyway, listen. Did you? No. I won. Listen, I didn't lose.

- I won. - No, didn't you get shot with the, you got shot with the- - No, that was Rento. Monopoly I won. - Oh, sorry, yeah. - And then Rento I was, we were playing Rento. - What the fuck? What is this, Monopoly? - Rento, I thought it was the same thing. But all right, listen. So the challenge is on Uno, right? What happens is you go, if you have no, if you can't play the card- - If you have no cards you can play. - Let me explain it. - Okay. - I want you to test me. If you have no cards that you can play, you can play that card. - Yeah.

But if they think that you have got a card you could have played, they can challenge you. Yeah. If you have, they'll win. If you don't, you win. Yeah. And what happens if they win? Then they get four, you get six. The other way around. No, no. If you win, you get four. If you lose, you get six. If you win, if they challenge you and win, you pick up the four. Yeah. But if they challenge and you win, they get six. Okay, okay. Bless. What I didn't understand is, I didn't understand about changing the colour, you know? What do you mean? I don't get how that works. So like...

Thought it was just plus four, but I have to pick what color is as well Well, the card itself isn't actually a color right? It's a black card So you have to tell them what new color to lay down? I think like a yellow five and you have a red five, but no yellows you can go Okay, because you have a you can change color. Yeah You can change color with the same number. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yeah, a red a yellow eight exactly. Oh

But with the plus cards, the card is black. So then you have to dictate. That card is black, Nat. Then you have to dictate the new color of the card. Yeah.

Okay, but I think like so say say say if I have no How long is this podcast just explaining you know, they have no green right? I have no greens and I play a plus four and I make it green. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah, okay, but then you won't be able to go next go. Yeah, because you have no green Yeah, exactly. Oh, oh he's leveling up. I'm gonna bluff in like same with poker when I'm playing poker I can play like I can I know that I can I

Say like Calyx or JJ, I know that I can make them lose, but it's not because I've got a good card. That's all I can do. It has to be really- - You finished second in poker. - I had one where- - How much did you take home? - 1.5K. Thanks, but I should have took four. 'Cause in my head I was like, I've already made a grand here. I should go to bed. 'Cause it was like 3:00 AM. But I was like, actually, then I got home and I was like, actually, life would be much better with four grand. 'Cause I'm not saying I gave the ear to him. - What, you just- - No, no, no, I just like, I played every hand I played.

So, and at one point where I bluffed and it looks like, yeah, I was gonna actually fold and give you the money, but I didn't bet enough. 'Cause it was towards the end of the game, I should've stopped doing more. I did like 1.5 chips worth, I think. And I was, I don't know, but we were both tired. And I was like, I've made money. - It was like 3:00 AM, 4:00 AM. - I'm so glad I went to sleep.

- I wish I went to sleep, I got forced to play. - Did you win anything? - No, but I knocked Josh out in the first hand. - In the first hand? Josh had pocket aces by the way, which is like the best time you can get rid of. - I played blind. I was like, I don't want to play. And everyone was like, no, you have to play. We don't have enough people, you have to play. - How did you knock Josh out then? - So I played blind and I had a straight.

But literally I play blind. Mitch had a straight as well. And Josh had pocket aces. Got a third ace as well. - So you have three of a kind. - He did. But me and Mitch both had the same straight. So Mitch went, as soon as he got straight, he went all in. And I was like, yeah, all in. I don't want to be here. Josh goes, yeah, all in. And then Mitch turns over a straight. Josh turns over three aces. I turned over a straight. - And you have a better straight then? - No, me and Mitch share it. But Josh is out. So I gave my money to Josh and he played for another like two hours.

- Oh. - But yeah, I didn't come last. - Nice. - Arsenal signed Declan Rice. Well, we'll have signed. - So yeah, what's the latest on that? - 105, innit? - So the bid got accepted. - Yeah, both teams agreed, now it's just down to personal stuff, but I reckon we'll accept it. - Imagine if you said nah. - I'd feel for him as well. I heard he wants to stay in London, so. - Imagine if you said nah. - That'd be jokes. - I'd prefer to stay at West Ham than psych. - After all this. Did you see- - I think West Ham would be pissed off of him. 100Ms. - Yeah.

Mmm. Do you see what I have it Scott? Yeah, yeah these do you see the video they did wait did he actually sign for them? Yeah, so yeah Yeah, it's official. Can you I've been off social I've been in that studio. I haven't seen but they did they did a video where they take like his shirt all the way from Arsenal They fly but it's a someone's wedding. So they just go to her like yellow during the wedding to go to this restaurant and

So they delivered him an Arsenal shirt and vlogged the thing. Yeah. It wasn't at his wedding, but he was at the wedding. At someone's wedding. Yeah, so he had to like hop out and kind of... Just put a shirt. It's also TikTok. In fact, TikTok just doesn't come up on... I can imagine there's like agents saying that to him. Okay, so what they're going to do is they're going to fly over this shirt to you and then you're going to wear it. He's like, I'm not at a fucking wedding. Yeah, that's what's happening. To be fair, football's so big that we forget how big football is. Bro, if you're on the sun, just give up at this point, man. I feel like you've gone the wrong... Fair enough. Yeah, fuck me.

Sorry, Nick. Come with me to deliver this shirt to Habits. Nah, they're jam-packed. Yeah. So they're walking it through. They're in a car now. Not the time lapse. Sorry, Randy. Yeah. It's okay. So he's at a wedding at this point. Yeah. Yeah. That's what someone said on Twitter. You know, they could be lying. Yeah.

- What, he's wearing trainers to her wedding? - Did you hold corn for that? - Huh? - Did you hold corn for that? - Of course. - Now, then there are also people coming back saying like, nah, like, we're what you want, you know, show wedding. - People always got something to say, man. - Yeah, yeah. - Probably a 12 year old with no girlfriend, man. Loser. - Nice. - I'm just fighting back at the troll. - Ah, great. - Nick, feel free to scroll down. - Or Toby having a year of new things. - What new things?

New house. It's not done. What's happening with the house? What can you say? I've let my mum take control of that whole operation. She's doing an amazing. Bless her. Mum, love you. And dad, love you. Yeah, yeah. Brian, I think you're going to go through the whole family now. No, no. Oh, hey, yo. You already fought to be in your mum. I was going to make the joke. I thought I can't remember. Yeah.

Yeah man, it's just taking its time. I think the war, the petrol crisis that we had earlier or whatever it was, the gas shortage, everything has just kind of set everything back but I'm hoping to be moved in by October. Sick man. Oh, October eh? Halloween party. Oh. I don't know. Yeah? Bonfire night. I'll do a bonfire night for sure. That would be sick. Like put a fire on?

- Yeah. - Sick man, I'm down. - Yeah, he's just gonna have a lighter. That's it. I'm looking forward to living in a house. 'Cause obviously you've lived in London for- - I've lived in my flat in Stratford for eight years. - That's crazy. - Eight years. - Yeah. - And when you move out, it's gonna be different. - I know, I know. I am and I'm not looking forward to living in a house. 'Cause I've got my own space, I have my own garden, you know, I drive all good.

But there's a convenience about living in like an apartment where like something goes wrong, I can go downstairs, tell the concierge and they'll pattern it up. I don't have to worry about little bits and bobs. Whereas in a house, it's all on me. I am responsible for everything. I need to know where everything is, how everything works. It's like, yeah, I don't know. - I still don't know where everything is in my house. I'd be like, oh, it's a bowl.

But this is the thing as well. I'm not joking. Where's a bowl? I've realized recently how organized I need to be. Compartmentalizing everything. I recently did it in my flat. I had a massive clear out. Compartmentalized everything. One of my friends come to help me with it. And now everything's like a breeze. I know where my keys are. I know where the tool... If I need this, it's like getting packed and ready for...

Your wedding for example was piss easy to me. Okay, all my smart clothes are here. Nice clothes are here. Whatever. Yeah Yeah, that's true. It does have all that and then um, you should do it and label stuff. Yeah, I bought a label maker I'm not even joking. Have you used it? No, but I went to uh, where is it? I can't find it. Where is it? I went on holiday for two days. Where'd you go? Um, Northumberland

- Is that a holiday? What did you do there? - It was a family holiday with my parents and my sister and that. - Cute. - I came back. Hop was there. - What did you do out there? - Just bump into her. - Oh shit. - What are you doing here? - My guy. - My slime. - Literally your slime. - Aww. - I'm not wrong. - It's really long, so I wanted to go to the beach with her, but...

They stayed on holiday, I came back. I've been so many times away this month. So you killed the vibe. Yeah, yeah. Damn, I was going to ask what the vibe was like. No, it was good. We went to a seafood restaurant. We got a swim, went swimming. I did like a jacuzzi there. Half of us swimming every day. She's like doing this now. She's a better swimmer than me. Probably. I haven't seen you swim. I've seen her swim. I swam. Simon saw me swim. Literally in Ibiza. It was me, you and thing in the pool. Yeah.

Although we were just kind of standing there. - Also the pool was full of bugs. - You threw that pool, you just stand up. - Swim in. - Yeah, yeah. Nah, it's just like a show. I tried to go golf, but the people who I was with didn't have golf clubs. - Are you obsessed with golf right now? - Yeah, I love it, man. - All the troops are. It's all the troop chat about. - Are you obsessed with golf? - I haven't played. - You bought clubs? - No, I didn't. - I bought those clubs. - I have clubs. - What'd you get them from then?

- Listen, we'll talk about this another time. - But I have clubs. - He has clubs. - Yeah. - I can't wait till- - Which plug gave you these clubs? - Huh? - How did you get these? I want these clubs. - They can be arranged. - Okay, bless. - That can actually be arranged. So you see that video we did, the second one? - Oh. - I wanna do that with guests.

- I think it'll be so sick. So you're in like teams. - Yeah, that's a good idea. - We should do that. - Yeah. - Oh, I can't wait for you to look. I think those are both really good videos by the way. I enjoyed them. - You sent Sidemen or you wanted it? - No, for Sidemen. - Yeah, we could do that. That's a good idea. - And we already have the things, right? - Yeah. - They're not getting rid of them. - Maybe, hope so. - Oh, we should message, I'll message anyway. - We may have just come up with a Sidemen idea. Should I put it in the chat? - Yes, please. - Okay. Carry on. - Do you wanna be a guest?

- Well, when is it? - The answer, you should say yes. - The answer is yes. - Is it, but I think I've already, this is what Harry told me about. - Bro, no. - No. - Okay, okay. - I'm really looking forward to when all the troops live in like houses.

- I'm not going to visit anyone. I will tell you now. - I know. - Yeah, to be fair, it's not on you. - If people invite me around, I'll go. - But organizing that one thing has been tough. - Well, yeah, everyone's basically said, well, the thing is, right, I said like, oh, we should all do something at some point. And then Freezy just said this Sunday.

It was like this Sunday, your house. Like I said, I'll come to my house. - Oh, was it just something in general? I thought it was football. - Well, it was kind of like, oh, you know, the football pitch is done. Everyone come to my and play football. And then they just put this Sunday. And I was kinda like, um, give them one date and also it's being worked on still. And now it looks like there's no other date in forever. - Yeah, I'm in on, I'm here on Saturday. So that's why it's good for me, but I don't care when it is.

Well, now I'm like, if I don't do it, I feel guilty because it's never going to happen again. No, it will. We'll make it. Will it? We'll make it. I'll make it happen. I really want everyone to move like... Close to each other. Yeah. We should just buy a road. Yeah, but Josh wants to run away to the other side of London. True. We should just buy a street. Yeah, I have to figure it out. Buy the Troop Street. That's the next goal. Fuck a golf stream. I want a street. A golf street. A golf street. Yeah. Or a street stream.

- You missed the golf. - Yeah. - Sorry, nice golf stream. Thank you. No, but yeah, I like golf. - Street, street. - If you lived on the same street, would you have to have the same house so no one would jealous or would you? - Nah, bro. - Nah, we'd buy the land and then everyone would build their own house. - Do not get me wrong, I do like Minecraft. - Remember that video that we were just talking about? We do that, but with a street. - Oh my God. - I will be in the kennel. I'll be in your guys' kennel.

I got 11,000 views. - Really depressing everyone right now. - Yeah, come on. - Sorry. All of us have like two million views on the last video. Or one out of 10. - I don't have one out of 10, so two million views on the last video. - Your last one was one out of 10. - Is it? The studio? - I thought you walked in and said, "I got one out of 10." - No, I didn't. - Oh. - I didn't hear it. - All right. What is it? Can you check? - It's definitely not one out of 10. It's definitely not one out of 10. - I heard you say something of the other. - Nope.

Let me see. Where is this? I'm going to guess. I think it's like an eight, six. Oh, I need to change the thumbnail there. That thumbnail got rushed. Yeah. Mine did too. Not great. But yeah. You should have seen the one before. Change showing to surprising. Surprising. Surprising. I was trying to think of the word. Why is the Wi-Fi not working? Oh, it's,

- I'll say less. Golf wise, I have always liked golf by the way. - Yeah. - Stop lying. - No, no, I've always liked golf. And my friends at home, we played a little bit, but then they stopped playing. - Stop lying. - Nope, Toby, I literally, I'll pick up a photo on my phone where- - Eight out of 10. - Nice, cats. See, full circle. - It's actually full circle. - Laura bought me literally a birthday cake with golf, about golf. And I was wearing a golf t-shirt when she bought it. - What, a Volkswagen?

No, I mean like me and my brother played golf when we were younger. Yeah, yeah. We played a few times. Yeah, I know. I can name you like 30 golfers on the Pre-J tour.

in 60 seconds no i can't 30 go on uh i don't want to do that game 30 is too high but i probably could do it if you give me like five but i feel like i feel like the troops do go through little phases where they all get really obsessed with something yeah it's true it's true and then all the like chat basically turns into that thing yeah so like there was a period where like as jj said um hopefully this passes because he doesn't like golf so hopefully this passes and uh

He was like, yeah, golf, go-karting passed. So this will too. And Ethan was like, oh, we still race. This too shall pass. Go-karting wasn't really like... It was. It wasn't every week though. The entire chat multiple times was go-karting. When you say the entire chat... Before me, before I was there then. Harry, Ethan... But they're the ones that talk a lot. Like... Freezy? Freezy was, yeah. JJ ain't gonna come golf anyway. And Josh asking to go but never getting invited. Yeah. Nah, I think we'll probably like...

Bit of both, really. Like, not getting invited, but also not initiating. Because he's not going to the box. If he won't come to the box, he can't participate in other activities. Even Vic's into the box, man. Anyway, he's going to come to the box, he said. But now I think it'll be like...

Everyone talk about golf until the weather dies down a bit. Yeah, which I mean like it is summer right now. It is golf season right now. Yeah, but I think it's I think it'll be like that'll be the golf thing and the next year something else will come up. What do you think it will be next year? Next year it will be wakeboarding. Probably. No, but I think wakeboarding was already a thing. We've had our wakeboarding one because they used to go in like London. I know, I remember that, yeah. But I like golf though.

- Cool. - We're trying to move on from golf. - It's like you guys keep diminishing golf, man. - No, I like golf. - Yeah? - Yeah, it's just- - I don't mind. I like top golf. - Yeah, I like top golf. - Something about just hitting the ball really far. - Yeah, right? - Or trying to. - Do you reckon when you guys get to like 50, it'll be gardening?

- No. - The point about golf though is that like when we're like 40 and stuff, having sick trips. - It's the only sport you get better at. - Yeah, you get sick resorts. - Bowling. - Darts. - Bowls. - No, I'm not doing bowls, sorry. - You know what we need? Someone needs a bowling lane in their house. - You're the only one to do it, so chip chop. - Wait, what the fuck is chip chop, by the way? It's chop chop. - You're right.

- Chip chop. - No, but you are literally the only one to do it. - Do what? - You're the only kind of guy to put a bowling alley in your house. - Yeah, and then not have mates to come around. - Also, it's fucking expensive. - That's why he's the guy. - Bro's got a pitch in his fucking house. - Exactly, why would he spend again on a fucking bowling alley? - No, he wants more. - I actually did look up. - Yeah, how much? - It was, I think it was 300K. - Light work for you. - But then it's like 50K per lane extra.

One lane. I think it was 350 might be 150. How much did you pitch? I can't say right now because it's not even finished. I know. I know. I know. Yeah, it's being extended. She's got undisclosed fee. He goes, I'm gonna go check. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I'll give him a while. I think he was gonna go check the net. Sounds like some states still walking. I think the idea of a bowling lane at your house sounds better than the practicality of it.

- If I'm having a bowling in my house, I don't want to shit you on my strings. - I was gonna say, you're never gonna get the good like. - Yeah, 'cause you need someone on site to maintain that shit. - 'Cause you know the ones that, you know when you get to like a hotel. - Bye guy. - We'll pass it. - Wait, were you shocked at the fact that we passed that or what? That was good. - I thought you said we passed that, passed that, but then I thought you said something else. But let's carry on.

- When you go to like a hotel and they have like their own bowling alley and it's always, it's fun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But it is, yeah. It's like the ones on strings. - You're talking about that one. - Yeah. - It's cool for like 20 minutes. I wouldn't want that every day. - Yeah. - I also, I'm like, I hate bowling. I don't mind bowling, but like, you know- - Just say you're bad at it, bro. Just say you're bad at it. - You are bad at it, aren't you? You are! He did my video. - That video doesn't count. - Do you want me to teach you? - He got injured in the first bowl. - That's my next video. - I've got a YouTube video of me against KSI, beat him.

Bowling video. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah trying to be in it. You can win money. Is it? I had to run and I that's what I got tender nice that day. I think of it while ago It's you don't need to be as good as you needed to be friends one No, I mean like is it how many you can do in a certain amount of time? No, so you can take a time. Yeah, then yes I'll be in it watch me now. What you mean? I've got that time on my hand. Okay, it was rushing around. I was like, oh

- That was the point. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm saying that's, don't say I'm bad at it, you know? - You are bad at it. - You are, you are. - I really wanna do a video doing most penalties scored in 24 hours. - Yeah, do that. - No, because I wanted the world record.

- Right. - And I Googled it and the world record was 1,100 something. - By one person? - Yeah. - Okay. - In 24 hours. - Well, let's just get some math going. - No, but then this same person redid it and got 8,000. - What? - Yeah. - Now he must've had, he must've like- - She. - I'm so sorry. - She? Where was she taking the penalties from? - The penalty spot. - Why?

- 8,000, what's the maths on that? - 12 to 14 seconds. - It can't be possible. - Get staff, get staff. - 12 to 14 seconds for 24 hours. - That's all going in by the way, that's not including misses. - The thing is though, what I worked out is there is a keeper, but I'm pretty certain at that point the keeper would just, yeah, the keeper would just, you know, not. - You can beat that, she's taking ages. - There's no way that at this speed,

- I'm saying bro, you get 12 people and put the ball there, ball there, ball there. Just keep going, just keep kicking. - I just don't believe it. - You can do that. - No, 24 hours. - Well, it's your idea, man. - Yeah, but I didn't realize that that record was gonna be that ridiculous. - No, I got you. You thought what, like 20? - The keeper didn't even try. - That's one, that's one, yeah. - Well, that's the point though. - That's scummy. - No, the keeper doesn't try for any of them. - Okay. - 'Cause you have to score them. - There has to be one there. - Yeah.

Rules, man. You're missing and they just fling it back into the goal. That's ridiculous. So now I think I might go for most crossbars in like 24 hours or 12 hours. Do you still recover that? I don't think there is one. That would actually be sick. Have you got any world records individually right now? Not that I know of. So I want one.

- I'm greedy, I want a world record. - Yeah, I'd like a world record, least views on a video. For 11 and a half. - Let it go, man. You're really bringing down the vibe, man. - I told you I didn't wanna look at it. I literally gave you guys warning. - John's getting upset. - John probably got more views than me.

- John did a podcast the other day. - Yeah, on Gregon. - What? - Gregon. - Were you invited on as a guest? - I was, yes. - Is it a YouTube podcast? - Yeah. - Did it get more or less viewed? - It's probably less viewed. - It's the most viewed one. - Shut up. - Please, please no, please no. - Did it get more or less? - Please no, please no, please no. - Nah, same. - Okay, okay. - When I say thank God, I'm not. - Please no, please no, please no.

I think you might have committed. Well, I wasn't on another podcast and they did a clip and the clip got 80k views so... Well listen, man. If we're gonna play the game how many views we have had then... Yeah. How about you guys chat up? What happened to your like baby reveal? Couldn't be bothered. My reaction was so bad. Can you send me my reaction again? Do you still have the footage still? How many views on this one?

That's that one. That's that one. John, you've pulled us down, bro. Sidemen's in the title. Hi. It's not worse than that. See, that one got a lot. Randy's in that one too, though. Yeah, thank God for the podcast, man. Fuck me. Well then, stop dragging us down. Okay. And bring up something positive. Okay. What's the most positive thing that's happened in your life recently? I'm saying the last three months. Shit, I can't pick baby then. Yeah, baby was a cheat code. That's why I said last three months. No, no, I heard some big things. I'm doing well, man.

- Fucking act like it. - Also tell us something. - Ace, got some big things with Ace, something. - Brother, I thought you said AIDS. - Yeah, got AIDS. - Would be a positive thing.

- Yay, that's cool for you. Wow, really good. - I can't believe we just spudded on that. - We spudded AIDS. - I finished a game. I finished a level in the game we played yesterday. - What game? - Against the Odds. Finished a level in that. - Oh yeah. - What a positive. - What a good game. - No, we had some really good trips. - Really good trips. - Your wedding. That's a positive thing for me. - Thanks. - I was happy for you. - Don't try and steal his moment. - Sorry, Stag Deal was really, really fun as well. We had a great time. - Don't try and steal Vic's moment.

I want Randy moments. I got a Steamboat Willie 10. Nice. Pulled a really rare card out of Disney box. Oh, nice. Thank you. Thank you. That's like a five, six grand card. Yeah. Nice. A lot of my collection's gone up by. Who is it that pulled like a really expensive card recently? Yeah, it was him. Messi. Messi. No, someone else. It was a. He's probably. They said it was like a 200 grand card.

200 grand? Probably like Castro maybe? Wolfie? Maybe. I heard he pulled like a 200 grand card or something. No. I think it was a poker. No, no, no. I think it was Wolfie. Manny told me he pulled like a 200 grand card or something. I don't know if that's public knowledge so if it isn't. Poker Dean. Yeah, yeah. That's Wolfie.

Pokemon channel. - Okay. I thought that was the name of something. - But no, there is a card going around. No, sorry. Magic the Gathering, Lord of the Rings. And it's like people have, it's one. So it's one ring to rule them all, right? And there's one card of it. Like true one of one. And people have put bounties on it. So one guy wants to buy it for two mil and then drop it into a volcano. - He actually wants to buy it for two mil. - He has put out a bounty for two mil. - He has too much money. - So everyone now, everyone's like- - I bet it's JJ.

I would um no way I I was a little bit there I went to the poker and warehouse so expected Laura Memorial way so they couldn't get in so we were expecting a delivery I went there half nine half ten was the like ETA and

I was there at half nine, waiting all day, five hours, six hours. I was fuming, man. Because I could have just told him to come next week, but I thought I'd be useful while they were away. And it just didn't arrive. And he finally arrived. And I was like, where were you? He's like, I came in earlier and you weren't here. I was like, I've been here since the slot. He's like, ah, no one was in. He's like, I left you a card, but the card was blank.

When you run if you run a car saying like sorry I missed you I'd have been able to go like okay cool I'll go to the depot over anyway. I was there a board So I just had to open a wife Schwartz Star Wars pack got the best card in the entire set nice Darth Vader me yeah, how much? Yeah for me that's quite good Well

i don't know where to go from any of your points but have you seen stormzy and zaha bought uh they bought croydon afc croydon athletic i don't know if i added that one yeah oh look at me all clued up there's also real bedford who got bought by a billionaire we're not spanish so that's just real bedford it's real it's real bedford why are they orlando pirates

That is Orlando Pirates thing. It's so crypto. Look, establish block 712. It's a Bitcoin thing. That's so weird. But yeah. Would you buy a football club? No. Why? I think it's the quickest way to bleed money.

And I think it takes up a lot of your life. - Peter Jones bought Man United for less than a bill selling it for six. - True and they hated it as well. - But then I also think I wouldn't wanna get involved. I know how much like football means to people. So I wouldn't wanna get involved in something for a monetary gain. - It's not for monetary gain. - No, but if I'm doing it like at the whole thing. - Oh, what I just said. - Yeah. - Yeah.

I wouldn't want to do it for that. So I'd only want to do it for a team that I actually was passionate. So say I could buy leads, buy leads. And then I'd be like, cool. I want them to do as well as I can. I think there's no way that you leave loved. I think everyone will turn on their owners at some point. I have a rebuttal to that, but the ending was a bit morbid. I think you know what club I'm talking about. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But that owner was very loved. Yeah. But I think, you know, if the, if the team doesn't start doing well,

Yeah, I feel like yeah, it's true. It's true But then again that you can still bring positive things But I think also people see that Ryan Reynolds do it now and they think that are everyone can do that But he's like a master of like marketing and obviously he's a massive sliver He's like because I think a lot of people who buy I know Peter Jones said that if you're a billionaire and want to become a millionaire then buy a whole team. I

- If you're a billionaire, the guy of "Dragons Den." - Oh, okay. - Yeah, if you're a billionaire and wanna become a millionaire and buy a club. - Oh. - 'Cause you'll lose money. But also I think that's the traditional way of doing it. See, Ryan Reynolds have signed sponsors, actual sponsors. They're treated like a brand rather than just a football club. But then again, people see that and try to do the same thing, but you can't do the same thing twice. You can't reinvent the wheel.

- Oh shit. - But like I know, obviously we know a couple of people that own a team and they spend so much time. - It truly is a passion. - You really have to, I can't go like, you know what?

I want to just buy a football team and you know. - You can't half-ass it. - Yeah. - No, yeah, yeah. And you have to like really put your like. - Your twist on it. - Yeah, exactly. - That's something I'd do when I'm like retired. - That's the only time I think I would. And I'd also have to just have money to almost throw away. - I think we should all get our money up and then when we're like 50, we play football manager in Rome. - And say we all buy a team in the same league. - Yeah. - That'd be jokes. - That'll be a next level of friendship. - That would be so sick. - Oh my gosh.

I've got a new life goal. - You definitely sent Spires to the training ground at that point. - No, no, no. - That's a yellow card. - Yeah, you get flamed in the group chat. - You get ruled. - They go, "You can't turn up to the next three games." - That would be so sick. - That would be sick. Although it would just be like each of us trying to, like one player stands out and just be each of us trying to undercut each other. Like, "Yo, I'll pay you an extra 50 quid a week." - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, no, it would be fun.

But if you were to buy a club, do you know who you'd buy? Like, is there a team that would? Is there a team that tickles? Oh, a big time club or just like a. Well, what would you rather buy? Like, would you rather buy. Unlimited money, right? Yeah. Would you rather buy Man United or would you rather buy like a seventh tier, whatever? I would get like a seventh tier in Sweden. Cheaper straight away. No, no, but you have unlimited money. Unlimited money. Yeah.

- I'd buy two clubs bro. Can we own two clubs? - You have unlimited money to spend. - You can't own two clubs. - You have unlimited money to spend on one club. - It would be more fun to build a club from the ground up. But as a fan of Man United, if I had unlimited money and I could take us back, 'cause what I see in this season hurt me bro. It hurt me. I'm not even from Manchester, it hurt me. And do you know what's worse? I went to soccer raids.

That weekend. And the colours of Soccer Raid are like blue and white. So I was in Old Trafford and there was blue and white flags everywhere. The weekends that City had completed the treble. That's pain. Pain. That's really bad, you know. But yeah, I mean, not congrats to them, but...

fair play to them some people might not say fair play respect to them for you know achieving that accomplishment yeah it's crazy yeah do you want to own a club yeah i would i would buy a club in like the eighth league of like sweden or like yugoslavia or something so it's like that way you can get quicker routes of champions yugoslavia even a country anymore is now i'll buy i'll buy it

- Sorry, is that offensive? - Yugoslavia is one of my favorite names to say. - That's why I said Swahili. - Yeah. - Yugoslavia. - Wasn't there a team in another country that based everything on fans? Like fans made every decision. As in like it was, oh, what should be the starting lineup? Fans vote. - Oh, should do that for United. Interactive team. - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause their whole thing was like, we'll test it on this team. - Should do that for United. Half our fan base is delusional. - Yeah. - I did wonder whether there was any way we could do like the charity match in that format.

- So you do the charity match, yeah, you're like. - Yeah, but you don't give them 100% control 'cause then it would be. - You just give them some kind of interactive experience. - Like Twitch plays Pokemon, remember that, where like the majority have to go like, "Oop, oop, oop, oop," and then it'll go up and then it'll go left. - So you could do like, okay, Randy's about to come on. Who should he come on for? And you name three players. - Stop, send him back. - Look at his views. - Yeah, true. Oh man, sorry, sorry. - It's okay.

Nick have you found out if Yugoslavia is real? No I told you it's happening Oh Shit I want to know more Why was it gone? Where's it gone to? Renamed or what? It's lost They broke it up Oh I'm sorry Oh Sorry I told you Is that not split into like Czech Republic and then Oh yeah Oh not Czech Republic 40 years ago No I'm sorry for anyone who you know got upset by what I just said What's your favourite country go? Nigeria Sick man

- It's not mine. - That's where I'm from. - Yeah, yeah. - I have to say that. - Oh, you'd have to. What's your favorite? - What one you've been to? - What's your favorite place I've been to? - What are you saying? - Out of all the countries that exist, what's your favorite? - Nigeria, you can say that, that's fine. - Burundi. - Is that one? Is that country? - I like the name Papua New Guinea. - Yeah, I love that one. - Djibouti. - Djibouti.

- What's the smallest country in the world? Is it Vatican? - Vatican City. - Vatican City, yeah. - That's a beauty video, right? - Followed by- - What's the smallest country in the world? - San Marino. - San Marino. - It's okay. - Malta's up there. - And what's the one near Monaco? Is it Monaco? - Monaco, Malta. - But aren't these all principalities? - Monaco and all those places kind of have their own thing going on. - Like Monaco's a principality, no? - Yeah, Monaco's a principality.

We went there when we were younger. But they call it a country. And there's like Andorra. When Falcao played for them. Andorra as well. Kind of. They're like quasi-states. Andorra. Yeah, so what? How's a country playing in the French League? Exactly. Monaco, yeah. It's like, why is Swansea in the English League? No, a country playing in the League of... No, no, no. But he said they make rules, you know? Because they make rules. No, no, no. But he said... Because...

The English league also has Cardiff Swansea. No, I know, but, oh yeah. But he's saying Monaco is a country. I'm saying it's the same way. It's like, it's the same reason why they're. Nigeria to the Premier League. Yeah. Yeah. You know, if they were like, for example, Falklands Island, right? That could be in the Premier League if they had a team there, but obviously too far away. But Monaco is close enough. That's what I'm saying. They can still win.

Yeah, but I'm saying it's a country. Yeah, I know. Why are they not in international? That's why I say, oh, okay, we're going to just now add Scotland to the Premier League. Yeah, I know. I know. How do you know? This is probably a really dumb question. Someone in the comments is there like... Okay, interesting. So like what I said, that is like Swansea being in the Premier League. Sure. Yes, it is actually what you said. You know what, give him the dub. Yeah. I need one, man. 12k views now.

- Check. No, but by the way, when I posted it, it did just stop. Like it literally went to zero. On real time, it went to zero. - Did it get age-gated? - Maybe, I should have checked. - Do you post about your posts on socials? So you don't actively- - I did my last one. My last one I did. I will do it. Just let me- - How consistent are your YouTube posts right now? - Pretty consistent, but consistently shit. - No, no, no, but in terms of like regularity. - Like every month? - Every month. - Or maybe two a month. Nah, maybe one a month. - But then you're more active on other socials.

- Yeah, my Instagram is cool. - So whatever your most active social platform is, you should use that to push your content. - Yeah, I did that a lot. I did that, I did that. And I did a trailer, look, I did that one. I snuck into Simon's shoot and then I did a trailer for it and everything, look. But I didn't do this one, this one didn't do that. - I think we need to have constant trips to boost everyone's like- - Morale. - Morale and drive. - Yeah, because we basically went on this Ibiza trip and everyone came back going,

we got a private jet to Ibiza and everyone was like, oh, we all need to get our money up and get a private jet each. Which is firstly the dumbest thing I've ever had in my life. - I did change my wallpaper because I felt left out. I had a promo.

- See, see? - Nice, I AI'd mine. Mine's an AI generated. - Oh, what? - Yeah. - Yours is pixelated. - Fuck. - This is my normal wallpaper, shout out little nephew, man. - The tail of that is supposed to go over the time. - Oh yeah. - But anyway, yeah, so everyone's motivated. By the way, I did film that video before that.

- Yeah, but yeah, everyone came back and was talking about like, oh, we need to get our money up, get Gulfstream. - Gulfstream movements. - Yeah, Gulfstream movements. - Josh will come in the chat, what Gulfstream movements have you made today? - It's nice though. - I find it really funny though, 'cause I feel like for the last like four days, people have actually replied to it with like, oh, you know, I'm working on this, I'm working on this. - I haven't replied to any of them 'cause I haven't done anything. - I've played at least nine hours of Overwatch for the last two days each day. - That's also like- - When are you home today?

After another podcast so in the evening Yeah, I think is that like also you could say that that is like a step towards as well because you're working less Well smart that sounds like the opposite. Thank you put you put no cuz you're making things happen. I'm not I've done nothing towards anything else I've just played over I Think if you gave me a billion pounds tomorrow, I wouldn't buy a private jet. You just try them. Yeah makes more sense. I

Because it doesn't, yeah, it's like the amount I'm going to spend is so little compared to the amount it costs to buy it. Yeah, but it's like a goal though, right? Yeah. You can, but even that. It'd have to become almost like a business because you'd have to, I think they told us it was something like, yeah, like 1.5 million in maintenance and like three to five million in storage or the other way around. Mm-hmm.

That's a year. - And that's maintenance without anything going wrong. So if something goes wrong, that's an additional cost on top of that. - Yeah, so each year you're spending like six mil plus the 50 to 100 mil you're buying the jet for. I think I'd spend maximum 500K a year on chartering a flight. And that is like a lot. That's the stupid amount. So,

- Also you have to think about scheduling as well. 'Cause if you are doing what Nick said and like renting it out to other people, your schedule has to align with when they- - Yeah, exactly. - So at that point you might as well be chartering. - If I've got enough money to buy a private jet myself,

I'm not trying out to people. I'm having it just, you know, I'm on it when I want. - Exactly. - Been selfish. - This is a conversation I never thought I'd be having. - They were saying before we went. - I've got mad imposter syndrome right now. - There's a certain amount of like flights. If you use it a certain amount of time, it becomes more beneficial to buy it than rent it, than to charter it. - Yeah. - And I feel like if you have a billion dollars. - But at the point you're flying that much, it's... - I wouldn't wanna fly that much. - Yeah. - Really? - I think a boat is even more useless.

I really love boat days. I love boat days. So do I, but like, buying a boat would be literally to say you have one. Nah, I just love being on the ocean, man. I keep seeing boats have like golf, mini golf on it. How's that work? How have you dragged this boat conversation to golf? Because on this video, there's a golf, there's a mini golf on this video. I bet you there's a golf course on this fucking boat. Yeah, but listen, okay.

- I've seen everything except the mini golf. - You put the ball, right? It's gone literally an inch away from the hole. You go over a wave, it's in the hole now. - Bro, you understand how big this boat is? - They still move. I guarantee there's no, okay, that's fine. Is that the answer? That's fine. - Have you ever seen the pool tables? They play snooker. - Yeah, I've seen that one, yeah. - And it moves with the waves so that the balls don't move. - Maybe the golf course is that. - Oh, yeah. - That's sick. That's great tech. - I mean, you say that, look at the Titanic. Where's that? - Some people actually went to look for that recently. - No, they found it.

- Did they not? - Did they? - They found what? - Oh no, they found wreckage. - Yeah. - And they found body parts on the wreckage. - Did they actually? - Yeah. - Yeah. - So I think it meant the guys who went to look for the Titanic found it. - Yeah, that's what I thought you meant. I was like. - No. - I was like. - I meant more they found the wreckage. - Whoa. - No, they found the wreckage. - They found the wreckage, yeah. - Say swear. - Yeah. - I am really not, so I am old. - I got told. - Ah. - Yeah. - Random, who's got sticky bits? - That's sticky, mate. - That's crap. - So you wouldn't get a mini golf course on your boat?

I've had that boat. I've had a billion dollars. We have probably still on there just for fun of it, you know. What can't I do? But, you know. Play golf. Anyway, the conversation ended. We wouldn't buy a jet or a boat. Yeah, no chance. If I had a billion dollars, I'd buy both. I can't lie. If I had a billion dollars, of course I would. Maybe a boat. What would you do with a billion dollars otherwise? What else are you going to do? Because if I had a billion dollars, I probably wouldn't be working. I'd probably be on holiday every other week. What about

- If you're not doing jets or boats? - Yeah, I'd buy a couple houses in different countries. I'd buy houses for my families. - Playing global monopoly. - Well, hold on. - I'm holding. - You're saying you'd buy a house. It would be easy to rent a house on the same logic as buying a jet. - He's not wrong. - For a billion, if you had a billion to spend. - But then he also said if he was gonna spend that much time on a jet, he'd buy it and he wouldn't. I don't know what I'm saying. - But Matt, would you spend that much time in those houses? - If I had it. Depends how much I liked it, but I wouldn't buy it if I didn't like it that much. - Hmm, true.

And I'd be going there for a couple weeks at a time, not a seven-hour flight. How'd you get there? How'd you get between? I'd charter a private jet. Okay. Yeah, well, listen, you know, each to their own. So what would you do if a billion dollars were to buy a jet? No, I don't know. I mean, who knows? But aren't jets also like, if I buy a jet right now for 100 million, say, in...

20 years is that jet not really outdated no no no no because you know they hold the money well i heard on tiktok they um yeah like because you just reupholster them like that you if you buy a jet right now reupholstered your jet if you buy a jet right now i'm pretty sure unless you um spend like a crazy amount like hundreds of millions you can just buy a 20 year old one and just redo it that's what i heard

Okay, but then I'm spending more and more money on it. Whereas the house I don't think I'd have to do that. Yeah, I mean Listen man, it's not really our money up. That's all we Yeah, you guys get money up man, and I'll just keep being funny man. You just bring me for the jokes You're just saddening us all right now. Stop doing this bro. I'll just sit ahead of the table and back I was so excited to come on the podcast today. It's my hat trick for a time on what's good. Sorry man Bring us some joyous topic right now. Life's good. We're all alive.

We are all alive. Can't complain, you know. Harper, the other day, she's got her walker. She's walked a little bit. She's walking now. Nah, she's walked on there. On the walker? Yeah, she's down there. Sun's shining. It's not. It's not. Overcast day. Overcast. These lights make me feel like the sun's shining. I don't know, man. You get some joy. What joy have you got? Alright, would you rather be able... Would you rather have a horizontal arse crack or a vertical mouth? Oh, arse crack.

- Horizontal mouth. - Horizontal mouth. - Horizontal ass crack. - He said horizontal mouth. - Fish have them. - No, vertical mouth. - Vertical mouth. - Why would you want a vertical mouth? - 'Cause fish have them. - But like I feel like a horizontal ass crack wouldn't change your life much. - Yeah, and no one can see that. - Although you'll clap when you walk downstairs. - Yeah, and your shape would change. - If you're thick. - No, I think that's still good for the mouth, man. - But you couldn't put anything like resting on your tongue.

- Why? - 'Cause it would fall down. 'Cause your mouth is vertical. - Oh, so my whole tongue has to be vertical too. - Yeah, but you know when you're like- - Yeah, your mouth is vertical. - You know when you're a kid and you sit on them bars? You know the bar, you just hop on the bar and you sit on it? - Yeah. It'd be in between your ass crack. - Just crack. - Oh, now I don't want it. I would've gone with the horizontal ass crack. Now I don't want to. - It's definitely a horizontal ass crack 'cause people are less likely to see that than my mouth. - Can you remember being at school and you have chairs

- And you like, you'll lean up on them, then put your foot there and put the chair back and the chair leg will be on your toe. You guys ever do that? - I honestly don't. - You're sitting on your chair at school, you go back on the chair and then you put your foot there and you go back down and you put the chair leg into your like toe and you like, the pain feels pretty good.

- No? - You should probably be worried about this, but I used to do that as well. - Yeah, man. Oh, shit. - Yeah. - No, actually, no, me and John are normal, man. We didn't go to grammar school or private school. We went to school. - He went to private school. - For a year. - Oh, fuck's sake. - They kicked me out, though. They kicked me out. - Good.

- Good. - All right, would you rather be able to effortlessly run at 100 miles an hour or fly at 10 miles an hour? - Fly at 10. - No, wrong. - Effortlessly run at 100. - What are you doing wrong? Hold on, if I can effortlessly run at 100 miles an hour, do you reckon I can run across water?

- Like bolt from, like dash from Incredibles. - A boat, if I drive my car 100 miles an hour, I will not be able to drive across the water. - Nah, but the weight of a car is not the same. - I don't think a human could run. - Can you, 100 miles an hour, I reckon you can run across water. - No chance. Maybe like a pool, like you can do that little bit. - At top speed, you're going across water. - There's no way. - Top constant speed. You have no time to sink, bro. - No, you would, you'd still sink. - Oh! - What?

- Yeah. - No, it depends on the weight and size of your feet. - Yeah, but that's half the speed, less than half the speed. That's 45 kilometers. - What? - You can think about it. - No, no, no, no, hang on, hang on, hang on. - Hang on, yeah, exactly. - I don't believe this. - The end of this sentence, go up. The end of this sentence says, "Although I once taught an 11 year old to do it at 45 kilometers an hour." - I did read that, I did read that. - I think it's a troll. - Okay, who is this scientist? - Satire, I think it's satire. - Just three times faster than Bob.

- And he did like 29 kilometers an hour, right? Or miles an hour. So he would be able to just about. - Nice. I reckon. - 'Cause the water would not have time to react. - So you're still saying fly? - No, I'm saying if I can run across water, I'd go with that. - Okay. - 'Cause that's good to like, America. - I don't understand why anyone would choose fly. - Why? - What would you do with it? - Just like fly off. - Where? Where are you going?

- And how are you flying? Are you flying like cool like Superman or you got to flap your arms? 'Cause if you got to flap your arms, it's dead. - It's so dead. - Hey guys, look at me. - Yeah, but no, yeah, like it's okay. - You're the only man in the earth that can fly and you're being bullied. - I'm going to a hotel. - The fuck is he doing? - Yeah, I'll just like fly there. - To a hotel? - Yeah. - It'll take you a long time. - Was it?

- 10 miles an hour. - How fast do you walk? - Like three or four. - But you can skip like roads, you just go across buildings. - True. - Yeah, but like, okay, if you wanted to go back to Nottingham. - 10 miles an hour is slow. - Exactly. - Yeah, that was really slow, but I can still go in a car. - True. - But if I ran it, I guess I, nah, 'cause. - Although, counterpoint to myself. - Yep. - Put on a wingsuit, jump off a building.

Jump off a building and you'd fly super quick and you can actually fly so you're not gonna die because you can fly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we get to the bottom and then go, I'm probably like five more mile an hour. Yeah. Hmm. I still choose flying. I think flying just like, I'd rather run. Run. Fly instead. Yeah. But then running at a hundred miles an hour, am I able to perceive what's happening around me? No. Am I able to react? Do my reactions match that speed?

No, your reaction is the same. But you can drive at 100 miles an hour. You can walk as well. You can stop. You can go slower. You can effortlessly go 100 miles an hour. True. I'd like to do that, but... I'd just be the fastest man on earth. Catch me on the M25, boy. I'd just enter the 100 meters and I'd do it in like a second. I'd enter the fucking who can fly contest. That's not a contest. And then you'd be tested on.

- Yeah, and then come back to it. - You would live in area 51. - Yeah, fuck it. - I don't think if you could fly, they would think you're a goat. - They think I'm a bird of some sort. - I dance a hundred meters every year and I just beat my time by like half second. - You would do dash from the Incredibles. - And he can run a lot. - Go slower, go slower. - I'd love to watch that film again, man. - I might watch that again. That's a good film. - Great film. - I watched it like two weeks ago, three weeks ago. - Oh wow. - Yeah. The second one. - Yeah. - What's the last film you watched? - "Coco".

- No. - Although I did pull a card. - That's the one I watched. - All right. - "John Wick 4." - Oh, is it good? - Yeah. - I think the first and second are the best ones. - Last film, oh, I think the last, no joke, I think the last film that I actually watched was, oh no, actually, my family- - No pornos. - No, no, Paddington. My family were watching it with the kids on a holiday. - Paddington and beer. - Yeah, yeah. - Has anyone watched "Black Mirror"? - No. - No. - Sorry, but I don't even hate on it. - Fuming. - Why? - It's so shit.

Yeah, but why is it shit? Because I had this conversation yesterday. Okay, I'm about... Are you going to watch it? No. Yes. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Which one? Episode four. Spoiler alert. Okay, it's the worst episode I've ever seen in my life. It's about this, like, paparazzi who...

This woman basically films or takes pictures of a guy having an affair with a man and sells it. And the guy kills himself because it's like... Oh, dear. He's been outed. Yeah, and he's like, you've ruined my life. That happens. So she's starting to have like, should we be doing this? Then a famous actress takes drugs, drives, hits someone with their car and kills them. And...

the person dies and they put her into some like rehab basically and that everyone's told oh if you can get a picture of her looking you know in in rehab going through whatever the stages of addiction you get 30 grand 40 grand 50 grand so they're all like okay we'll go do it turns out that this this actress is now turning into a werewolf at night because she ran over someone that was a werewolf and got bitten or something i don't know what it

- It's weird. - Sounds intriguing though. - It's terrible. - It doesn't sound intriguing. - Black Mirror is meant to make you think, okay, this could actually happen. This could be real. - How much can they do that now? I feel like the whole shock factor of Black Mirror has gone. - I agree with that. Hence why I haven't really liked it in the others. - Which is why they're pushing these weird things 'cause they're still trying to shock you. - No, but all the other ones are still like- - Realistic. - Yeah, like, so episode three is about, you know- - Oh! - I'm not gonna spoil it. - Okay. - Just what it's about. - Okay. - But it's about two astronauts who have

They're up in space and they have a body on earth that they can visit. I feel like that spoiled it a bit. That's the first four seconds of the video. The episode.

then things happen. But that's like, that's the basis. This one is about a werewolf. - Could there be like, could it be a metaphor? - Probably, but I don't care. Like it's terrible. John watched it. - It was shit. - See? - I'm not saying it's all shit. I'm just saying it was the worst episode of Black Mirror ever. - Ever. - And Vic said it too.

- And Vic, don't lie. - What's the best episode of Black Mirror ever? - The one where the prime minister fucks the pig. - I haven't seen that. - Isn't that the first one? - That's the first episode. - I haven't seen that. - Have you watched any Black Mirror? 'Cause that's literally the first episode of season one. - I've never watched it in order. I watched it with friends. I've seen... - Have you seen the social media one? - I've seen the social media one where you're rating. - Yeah, yeah. - Like that one. - And I've seen the dating one.

they're in like a matrix essentially. - Oh yeah. - You go and hunt thousands of dice. - Yeah, yeah. And it tells you, you can check how long you have left. - That one and the, I like the street fighter one where it's the two friends. - I've seen the street fighter one as well. - Yeah, the two friends that controlled themselves. - That was nuts. - But that made me start thinking like, what if it actually happened? You could actually be a character in a game and you can do what you want. And you just start having sex with a bloke who's,

- You know, a hundred miles away. - He's probably cheating him. - But those things actually like, oh my God, what if this happened? That would actually mess up life. This one was like, oh, sparkly werewolf. - It was like fiction. - Yeah, it was like a gruesome twilight. - Yeah. - Haven't seen twilight, but heard it's good. - I've seen it. Don't wanna watch it. It makes vampires sparkle. As soon as I heard that, I was like, I'm done. - I'm gonna watch this episode four now.

I have to watch it. If you like it. I can watch it today. If you like it, right? You can never, ever, ever, ever, ever suggest a show to anyone ever again. Ever. Okay, I wouldn't like it then. I'll just say I wouldn't like it. No, you probably will. No, I probably won't, man. I'm not going to like it. You do have terrible taste. You sound like you're going to like it. He's a proper like...

- No, I'm not. I'm not a snob. - Are you a critic? - No, I like "Breaking Bad." That's what he means. - No. - I like "Breaking Bad." - "Breaking Bad" is good. - I like "Game of Thrones." - Los Pollos Hermanos. - No, but he hates certain things that he hasn't even seen. - No, I don't. I just think it's funny that you love "Young Sheldon." - I don't even love "Young Sheldon." - It's just like a shit show. - You've seen "Big Bang Theory?" - Yeah. - There's a show called "Young Sheldon," which is about, yeah, it's Sheldon when he's a kid. - I haven't seen that. - It's okay. It's like a fun TV show. That's it.

And I said, oh, I'm watching that at the moment. He was like, what? Why are you watching that? It's awful. - It's a little bit weird to watch something called "Young Sheldon." - Don't do that. - Yeah, man. Is "Old Sheldon" not enough for you? - When we did a tier list or a World Cup, you were talking about "Arrested Development." - No, no, no, no, no. Do not say anything about it. Do not say anything about this. - It's a show about a company that goes bust and the dad goes to jail so the son has to look after it.

And it's good. It's like, it's a good show. But he was there like, this is top tier. It is top tier. One of the best. It was battling friends. That's a big story. And I'm watching it. I've almost finished season two. I'm about to finish season two. And I'm like, this is just a good show.

Okay, so he overhyped it. This is a thing. This is why I don't watch things when everyone's hyping I didn't overhype it. I have to wait for the hype to die down and it's why I don't hype up stuff to anyone else You said you'd choose it over Friends. I would. I would choose it over Friends. It's a better show than Friends. Remember when I hyped up the Wagyu puffs and you were just like meh. Second time I had them go. Second time they were really good though, right? Yeah. Yeah. But listen man, Ratchet and Rattling is a good show man. It's a good show. You like Big Mac? That's exactly what I'm saying. For the first like six episodes. Have you seen Human Resources? No.

- Spinner. - You watch "Final Space"? - "Final Space" is hard. - My guy. - I haven't got time, man. Just making videos and shit, man. - I'm joking. - How have we swapped places? - We're going back here. - I used to watch one episode a day and he used to be like, "No, man, you're watching it wrong." What do you mean? He's like, "You have to binge watch." - My life became driving. When my life became driving, I didn't know how long I'd have time for anything.

Don't you get driven? Your car literally drives itself. Yeah. But I'm saying, like, the distance. It takes six hours to get everywhere. You probably have Netflix in your car. Yeah, of course I do. Of course I do. No, no, sorry. I mean, I'm not on my phone. You can't watch your way driving. Also, when I drive, I don't watch on my phone either. I'm saying when my dad drives me. But no, I'm just saying it's hard being away from London, man.

Come back bro, we miss you. - We're gonna try to come back. - Back to depression again, here we go. - Yeah, no, I'm actually not depressed. I'm actually not. - We'll have a talk afterwards. - No, 'cause I mean, no, okay. - It's all right, bro. - Yeah, thanks. - We're here for you. - Now shoes, are these like exclusive? - No, they came out. - Josh has these. - I like the tracksuit. - Thank you. - Oh, me too. - This is a one-on-one. - When do we get it? - I was just wearing it to see if people liked it and if they like it, then I'll make it. - They do. - And a lot of people like it, right?

- You've said it and you've said it. - I like it. - That's 100% of the people here. - Right, you don't count you, man. - I do, I do. - I already said I liked it, you just forgot. - You said you liked it. - Yeah, I like it. - Yeah, he's a boomer though. Oh, you shouldn't do it. So how's your vision?

- It's happening. Did some cool designs yesterday. New stuff coming. Okay, so I'm trying to do this thing where I design like a custom piece for everyone. But I feel like everyone's fashion sense is changing a lot. - Yeah, I feel that. - So I'm struggling to keep up with it. - Was that not an idea when you last came on this podcast? - Probably.

- I felt like we said you should do a Sideman. - Listen, the factories, they fuck you up, man. I got factories in China, in Turkey, in Vietnam. - Go on then. - None in Yugoslavia. - None in Yugoslavia. - But like, yeah, they mess you around sometimes, so it's hard to get things done, but I'm working on it. The clothing industry is stress. - Yeah. - It's stress. - I feel you. - But I'm working on it. - Any 40 pound basketballs coming up?

- No, 49.99. - You know what? - Premium. - I'll do a basketball set with a limited edition basketball. I also wanna do a collab with Lux on actual shoes so you could have an exclusive. - Ooh. - Yeah. - You know, a lot of people actually figured out that 40 pounds for a basketball isn't- - It's actually not outrageous. - Like basketball is like 80 quid. - Yeah, for a real one. - But it is like- - Yeah, yeah, no. - For a real one. - No, I mean not for like a, you know, done a training one.

a what donna you know you guys are so clear man so those who didn't go to private school donna was a sports friend okay yeah i thought you're gonna say like a sport in basketball that's the one i know what's this ksi who is behind prime drinks and sidemen

- Oh, so I'm actually potentially looking at doing one. We're potentially looking at doing one in Brick Lane for a week in the next couple of months. So keep an eye out for that. Gonna be some limited pieces there. So if you wanna come down, you're more than welcome. - Yeah, I'll be there. - I'll be there. - Yeah, I'll be there first.

that's so funny i was literally talking about it with zoe yesterday as my business partner and yeah we're running up the numbers right now we was thinking about whether to do two weeks or to do a whole month a whole month you've got to staff it and you know exactly yeah yeah so you know it's going to probably be like two weeks one or two weeks when you do two weeks and change all the things in it after one week yes so it's exclusive items first week and it's part one part two second good idea man one of one pieces one of one i want them

yeah yeah there could be one of one pieces not all of them will be one pieces and also the potential to like customize in store oh so like it's zipped into something else i'm more talking like print on that you know what i mean this is easy to do something what are you zipping to what well you could have like you have a you can have a zip on the front and zip on the back

that comes apart and you can put one half on. - Okay. - Not a bad idea by the way. Or a hood, you can zip your hood off and put a different hood on. - Do you want a custom piece? - Yeah. - All right, listen, if you want a custom piece, send me a picture of something that you'd like and I'll make a bespoke one for you in an Illvision style. - Okay, sure. - Like a whole set that you like and I'll get it made for you. - That. - This. - Yeah. - Which is Simon. - No, I don't, ugh, no, I don't want that. - Mini. - MM7.

- Now we can get that done, man. Whatever you want. If you see anything that you like, let me know and I'll get it made like bespoke to you. - Leather. - You don't like leather and I don't like the thought of you in leather. - Do you wanna watch good? - Yeah, we have some logos that we never put on merch. - Any logos, send it to me, man. - Can we get like a two of two ill vision what's good track suit? - Yes. - That'd be literally. - Yeah, we'll wear it. - Can we get a three of three?

As I said, can we get three of three? Fuck you guys, man. I could do a four or four for you. Three of three. We'll stay with three of three. We are actually trying to, we're working on some things. We want to do like random pieces. If you need factories or anything, let me know. Yeah? Yeah, I need some factories. I don't know if it's in Papua New Guinea. If it's not. What is your vibe today?

- I don't know. - The shipping costs from Papua New Guinea would be nuts. - That's where you're confused, my friend. - What is this time at the top of the screen? - One hour 38, no, that's not two hours. - I was gonna say, there's no way we've been here for nearly three hours. - It starts on one. - I really do have fun with these guys. - Pause. - But we can leave it there if you want to, it's kind of kicking on. - I wanna ask one question. - Go.

- Your house? - Yes. - What's one thing you're gonna get? I want all the troops to have something that's not in a normal house in the house. So like I got the football pitch. - I've got me in the house. - That doesn't count. - It's not normal. - I want all the troops to have like, Harry really wants a go-karting track eventually. - Oh, fuck. - Josh wants that too. - He won't do it though. - Fuck, fuck, fuck. - Give me some ideas, give me some ideas. Jon, what's cool? - Music studio. - A rocket launcher? - Indoor skydiving.

- Yours should be a bowling alley. - It should be. - Basketball pitch. That's not a court, sorry, not a pitch. - Okay, I need to really get my bread up if we're gonna do a bowling alley thing. - Basketball court. - I could do a basketball court. - Indoors though, 'cause like outdoors can, ah, no. - No. - Do what you want. - What are you having then? - I'm gonna build a bowling alley. - Build it. That'd be a good series, you know, I'd watch it. - I'm building it myself. - I'd watch any house renovation.

I want to do this. What I want to do that, like, as we get into the older phases of Sidemen and maybe we potentially start to slow things down, I would love to do like a house renovation thing. Yeah. I still want to do that as a Sidemen video. That's what I mean. Yeah. Sidemen stuff. But I want to split into two teams because we have to record that over time. You can't just,

- We can do a 60 minute makeover there. You know, like the one where you go for like four hours. - Oh yeah. - I know it's called 60 minute, but you know what I mean. - I reckon they lied about those and they actually shot them across two days. - No, 'cause you don't have to build any walls or anything like that. So it is just, you buy everything, put it in storage, like all the couches, TVs, anything up on the walls, anything like that, put them in storage. And then one day you go, all right, we're turning up at 9:00 AM, we'll leave at 7:00 or 8:00 PM. - So then what you go in, how long does it take for the paint to dry? Or you get fans in there to dry the paint? - You've painted.

Yeah, so we could say to them, look, we'll pay for you to go to Disneyland for a weekend. And then we do it over a week. We've done two day shoots. Yeah. Two day shoot. First day. Now, wallpaper. So I hate wallpaper. I hate it. Really? The fact that that used to be the Norman houses irks me. Really? We have wallpaper in our house. And then it starts peeling. It's like, yeah, we're in our bedroom.

- I hate wallpaper. - I hate it. - You've seen that wall that has all the like- - I think I was just, I'm scarred by the wallpaper that I experienced in my childhood. I hate it. - You've seen the wall that has like all the random black lines around. - Yeah. - That's wallpaper. - Oh. - Oh. - My house has just gone down in the judgment. - Do not go to Simon and Alan. - No, but I hate wallpaper and I hate, you know the ceiling of the, where they've used the, what's it called? - Artex.

- What? - Artex. - Is that what they're called? Where they do the patterns with the lines? - Yeah. - What's that? - It has asbestos in it as well. - What? Where they do the patterns with the lines? - Yeah, it has lines and droplets and stuff. - Oh, the droplet one! - Does anyone still have that? - There you go.

- Yeah, those things. - No one has that anymore though, right? - Some people have those, man. - I've got it in my house and you can't get rid of it 'cause it's got asbestos in it. You need to like fumigate the whole house. I only realized after I bought the house. - It's all old houses. - It's only in the hallways though. So if it was in the other rooms, I'd hate it. - We used to have it, right? You can't just paint over it. - You can paint it, but you're really not meant to disturb it. - Oh my God. - Disturb it? - Don't wake up the asbestos. - This is their house now.

Okay, so basketball court or bowling alley. Or bowling alley. Okay. It's too much tech. I think it also... It's probably going to be the basketball court is the least tech required. I think a talk of social would get boring as well. I think it's really, really fun, but like it's not something you could do all the time. All the time. Yeah. Like it would be really fun.

but bowling alley is more universal. - Also, I need a reason to leave my house. I can't have everything. - Yeah, true. - That's why I'm saying the troops all need one thing. So we go, "All right, this week it's your house." - What if I have a casino in my house?

That'd be cool. - You'd have to have- - In a Christian household. - I wouldn't use it. - You'd have to have a dealer and actually all the way to win money. - I'll be the dealer. - You gotta put money into it though. - Put money into what? - No, everyone brings money. - Can I be the person that comes around and, "Hey, you guys need any drinks?" - Yes. - If you wear a short skirt. - Yeah. - Huh? - I'll give you a five chip if you keep that.

Thank you. Yeah. That'd be sick. Every week we go to a new side, a new Troops house. Okay, what would Josh have in this house? A library or something. No, no, no. I think Josh will go go-kart. Harry will go like... No, Harry will be go-kart. Where is it? I'm saying... You know what he really wants? Josh will have a mini golf course. He'll have a mini golf course. Yeah, yeah. Harry really wants a...

go-karting course a track yeah that goes around a nine horse horse a nine hole golf course yeah yeah that'd be sick but because he owns the golf course he can make you know the the shots like the fairways go over each other because obviously you can't do that if you yeah other people would play but it's his yeah yeah and then you'd have the you'd you'd get the go-kart to the next shot that's sick that's hard that's actually sick that would be so sick yeah i saw this but it's in america

That's cold though. I want to learn to drift. But as in it's not worth going to America for a go-karting. Drifting doesn't look fun. I want to learn to drift so bad. You can learn to drift for a video. What would Josh get? Josh should have a mini golf course. Josh gets mini golf. Harry gets that. Ethan. No. What would Ethan have? Ethan would have like a... A real gym that everyone can use. No, I think Ethan would have like a quad bike track. That's what I was going to say. Like a dirt bike track to take around his whole...

Yeah, Vic did have the pool party an Olympic land and what a lot like a land party then That'd be cool. I want to do that. Actually. I want to tell one my garages into that I want to like make sure that I want the lamp why he did I literally had it just had that as well I said to Charlie I was like ever since ever since JJ said on sidecast about having a stag party where It's just like a land party football pitch. I'm like I want it. I

And then I realized I don't have enough friends. I'm gonna have 10 PCs just rotting. And one day like me and Talia might go in there and just play next to each other. That's it. - You have friends. - Yeah, but- - I do think by the way, there's like, there's no game that unites us all anymore. - Yeah, I get that. - Like you guys like Overwatch, but not everyone plays Overwatch. Normally- - There's five of us that play Overwatch. - Yeah. - Is it me, you? - Vik. - Vik. - JJ.

- Four of us. Ethan, no. - Ethan did play Overwatch. - He did, he can play. - And I reckon he would play if we- - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - But we would all go back and play COD. - Yeah, we would. - I would, if it was good. - I'd also play 5v5 clubs. - Yeah, I'd play, by the way- - In person, that was sick. - That's what I'm saying, LAN party for clubs. And we just, remember when we did the thing against FaZe? I had so much fun doing that. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I had so much fun, man. FaZe up.

What did you even do with your hand? I just did it fast and normal. You just did that. I can't do face. I'm not, I'm not. I know, it's half of it. Face up. Boys, I think the camera's just overheated at the same time. All of them? Yep. Even that one? Apart from the widest, so. Oh. Is that still recording though? This one's still recording. Okay, we'll wrap it up. Well, the cameras have overheated, so we're going to wrap this one up.

Podcast too hot. But also if any other companies, if any company like PC company wants to just give me 10 PCs that can play games, I will do a main channel video and make a LAN party and the Sidemen and the troops will be- You heard it here first. But anyway, as always, go watch Toby's latest video. Actually, go watch Randy's latest video. Yeah, go watch it. And check out Illvision and everything. Bye. Thanks for watching. Woo!