Our SIDEMEN CHARITY MATCH 2023 Predictions!!
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- Yo, what's up guys and welcome back to the What's Good Podcast featuring Simon, myself, we've got John behind the cameras, we've got Jack on the computer today. No, Nick. - I thought you forgot his name for a sec. - No, I didn't forget his name. - You looked over and we got Jack. - No, I looked over weirdly, I do agree. But no, I'll never forget Jack, his name. - Right, well, welcome to the podcast. We might have a guest next week and the week after. - Oh yeah, wait, yeah, yeah. - Two weeks in a row with guests. - Are we gonna film? Oh, by the way, it's your birthday.

- Tomorrow. - No. - Tomorrow. When this goes out tomorrow. - Yeah. - Sorry, I thought it was gonna go out as your birthday's already happened. So I'll take that back, sorry. - I'm old. - Yeah, go on, say it. - Did you guys know that Simon's older than Harry Kane? - He says this every time a birthday is mentioned or age is mentioned or if we meet someone new. By the way, you know he's older than Harry Kane. - It just blows my mind. No, but it's a compliment. It sounds like it's not, but it is a compliment. - How?

Because you're older than, well. Because I'm older than someone that is still my age pretty much and seems old. In my head, he seems really, yeah, actually it's not a good thing for you. No. He seems really old and you're older than him. Maybe you think about it next time you tell me that. No, no, it's cool. It's good for you because you seem younger than that. Yeah, because he seems 56. Yeah, he does. It's just crazy. It's crazy to me. Do you know anyone that seems older than him that isn't the next generation?

No. Exactly. So telling me all, you know, it's just self-explanatory. How old are you, John? Really? So he's older than Bernardo Silva. It doesn't hit the same. It does. Anyway, anyway. How are you guys doing in life and viewers? It's like a tough podcast to talk about because one of the subjects is gone now. What subject? I can't talk about that, but...

Now I'm just getting into it. Okay, here we go. Let's start off. I'm very tired today. I've been doing freezes at 75. You're doing it? Yeah. Although, by the way, he does this all the time. He just nabs someone's challenge and puts his name on it. Oh, 100%. He also changed it slightly to make it easier to fit him.

- Calling you out, Cal Freezie. - Which one, the water? - The water. - No, but I do think a gallon is way too much. - That's the challenge. - No, but also it's way too stupid. - Doesn't matter, that's the challenge. - Well, how much is it? Go Google Jack and put in how much is a gallon to- - 4.5, I think it is. - That's too much. - You have to have 3.5. - Yeah, but I've always heard, even before this 75 challenge, I've always heard that when you talk about drinking water- - Oh, 3.8. - Oh, okay, that's fine. Oh, that's fine then. - Wait, that was a US gallon.

Well, I don't think there's a difference. I don't know. It's only a US gallon. So it should be 3.8. Sure. But he just said you're not doing it. He just saying stars are just your needs. Oh, he said no, no, you're right. There's an imperial gallon. Which is okay. But they do mean they do mean three point. They mean the American government. Still 3.8. 3.8. Yeah. Okay. Right. Oh, let me just read six pages of the book.

- Let me do 35 minutes. - Okay, now type in Jack, now type in what is the- - 75 hard. - No, no, no, what's the recommended intake of water per day? - Well, it depends what you do. - That's why he freezes in his little graphic. It's not even important.

What the fuck is 13 cuts? By the way, I've got more to talk about this later. The Americans are just the most stupid people on the planet. They don't know what a kettle is. You know this? What do you mean? They don't have... This is going to part this bit. Subscribe and watch it later. And also, they don't have butter on their bread either.

- Three liters is the recommended. - Exactly, so 3.8. - And it's not, I don't think it's recommended to do two sessions of exercise a day. - Well, okay, yeah, let me get into this. I actually do think the 75 challenge is stupid. - It's so stupid. - 'Cause I've got this root band, right? Which actually is, well, which is also, I think, there's a link with them for the challenge, right? And I've been yellow, recovery, three days in a row, do the challenge.

That sounds good. Sounds like it's going well. But to be fair, for those who don't know what the challenge is, it's two workouts a day, one outside. 45 minutes of exercise a day, twice. One has to be outside no matter the weather. But you can do both outside. One has to be. I was arguing with someone about this as well. They're like, no, one has to be inside, one has to be outside. Why would you have to? Yeah. That's why it's stupid anyway. You've got to read 10 pages of a book. You've got to take a picture of yourself every day. That's stupid as well. Imagine if you forget one day. Oh, you failed the challenge. By the way, I hate you on this challenge just for the ease.

I don't like it that much. I'm not doing it, but I'm over hating it just for the point of hating. I'm too if I'm hating it. No alcohol. But my argument is that I think that like, because I've been doing stuff recently anyway, like trying to be better. And I would argue, I'd argue finding out what works for you is better than...

Sticking something but I do get it turns to what type of person you are because obviously I'm fashion It's taking me a long time that she started enjoying doing something sometimes I'll do like really crazy diets and I'll put a bit back on or I like forces often I eat and you hate yourself for it and you fail badly you're miserable one what I've been doing recently just like Building better habits and then stick into my own habits that are still healthier. We're still like actually long-term

But then some people can't do that. Some people have to have like a challenge, don't they? Some people like this thing. They can't do something unless they stick to something crazy. 75 days. So I do get it for that. I'm trying. I'm doing it as much as I can right now. But we'll see how far we get. The alcohol's not hard for me, to be honest. It depends what kind of day it is. I was talking to John about this before the podcast. I don't drink at home for fun. Yeah, but it's just like over the next... Okay, so over the next 75 days. Charity match. You've got charity match.

Probably a Sidemen party. That one I'll struggle with. I don't think I'll struggle with Sidemen charity match, like the party, but I'll struggle with the actual Sidemen party. What I'll struggle more with is videos, like Sidemen videos. What if like, you know, we'll talk about the fishing one soon. Imagine that one. Well, this happens all the time in Sidemen and John can back me up on this. Everyone goes through little phases of like, I'm not drinking.

And it just affects the video so much. Because we'll turn up and we'll be like, all right, well, we agreed this video a month ago. And now the video is going to be dead because no one's drinking. And I'm not saying we need alcohol to make it good. If it's part of the video, then I get it. If we did that fishing with zero alcohol, your side would have been the most boring side. It would have been awful. But it made it hilarious. Yeah, it made it fun. Our side was kind of boring anyway. But the alcohol saved it a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't get that drunk. But the point is... We'll get on to that. It's hard, isn't it, when you're doing like...

yeah but i think again birthdays as well birthdays meals yeah i drink more for the social aspect than that i mean i do enjoy cocktails and i enjoy whiskey but i don't like i don't need to don't drink them at home yeah i don't actually i don't i could sometimes not gonna lie every now and then like every month or so i'll have like a whiskey but it's not that's not for like trying to enjoy life or trying to forget about everything else

But no, it's not Fruzy's fault. I hate this challenge. I'm doing it though. I'm going to do as much as I can. No, we're playing with Fruzy. Today, I'm going to struggle because I haven't done any of the things. This is the thing. So this is why I was just like, I mean, I wasn't going to do it anyway. But the main thing for me was like, there's going to be days where, for example, the charity match.

You can't count that as two exercises of 45 minutes. Yeah, I know. So what we're going to do, like, I'm not going to get up in the morning and go to the gym. That's what Freezy was like. I'll just do a gym session in the morning. I was like, you think I'm going to... He probably will. Yeah, no, he actually will. But I'm not. I'm not. And then the day after the charity match, I'm always like, this is... Well, also, my charity match won't even count because I've been playing for like five minutes. Yeah. But I'm going to keep my woop on it. I'm going to turn on activity in the dressing room.

'Cause I know my heart rate will be going a little bit. - Well, you'll do the warmup as well. - That's what I'm talking about. That's enough for me. - Yeah, the warmup and the five minutes. - Well, this is where I've been talking about the 75 things. I've been doing two workouts a day, right? And I was like, golf counts. I was like, golf counts. Going and playing golf counts. But also, I got driving range, right? And I turn my activity on. Or I don't even turn it on, I just do it. And my whoop thing will say after it that you've burned like 500 calories. - Well, they've said that you can do a walk. Like a walk counts as your 45 minutes. Although Reeve did one.

And said a brisk walk counts on his story. That is Reeve though. Yeah, true. True. I reckon me just walking for 45 minutes is enough to watch Reeve. Does way more than his brisk walk. Yeah, yeah. But no, it's good. It's a good challenge. But like, so yesterday I did like, I've been going to gym. I've been going to golf once a day or driving range. So either it counts. You're going to be so good at golf soon.

- You're already good at golf, but you're gonna be really good. - I've been going backwards again. It's annoying me. And my back hurts. I've got a big problem with my back now. Every time I hit a shot, it hurts my back. So I'm like, I probably should stop playing. - And you're calling me older than Harry Kane. - I know, I know. I had a massage and everything. - You can't hit a golf ball 'cause your back hurts. - I know, I know. But I swing wrong. - Okay. - But then I'm like, but then, then I've got to change my swing. That's even worse. - Well, you'll get worse and then you'll get better again. - Yeah. So it hurts. This hurts now, but I'll be all right. I'll probably just cause 20 years of pain when I'm older.

Well, fair play to everyone doing 75 hard. I will not be. I'll see how long I get. I think if I fail, today for example, I have to do two workouts. So I'm going to do a walk around London because I'm here now. My problem is travelling because I've come on a train today. That's another thing. I hate trains. It's so crap. I got delayed. But I think I'll get money back. That's kind of cool. And then obviously I'll go gym and hotel. But anyway, it doesn't really matter. Who cares? One of the shoots we had was like,

It was... It's already out. The car challenge. Yeah. It was like, I had to be up at 6 to leave at 7. Get back at like 10pm. I mean, I got home at 10.30. Yeah. So I was like, when would I have done this? And Freezy just goes, get up at 5. And I'm like, alright, look, if you do that, fair enough. I'm like, fair enough if you do that. You are a better man than me. But...

I'm not willing to do it. - That's weird. For me personally, and again, we're not complaining about anything 'cause like if you don't wanna do it, just don't do it. - Yeah, that's what I'm- - But my issue with my own doing it, I think I would rather, like in my terms, in my exercise routine right now, my eating routine, if I, for example, miss a day of working out, I'm not gonna kill myself over it 'cause that's what used to stop me.

if I'm doing a 75 day challenge and I miss one day I'll stop I won't do anything else if I go on like a slower pace throughout the next two years but I'm more comfortable with it I'll do better than I would have done without you know so it's like yeah it's just I'm just saying and also if you have one bad meal I don't kill myself over it now I'm just like here's what it is you know go again tomorrow whatever but yeah yeah

Speaking of shoots. Yep. We did some shoots last week in Portugal that also we have spoken about Portugal We spoke about Portugal wouldn't say what we didn't say what we shoot in there with Alex One of the two videos were shot. One of them is the fishing video that's out now Yeah, which was this actually a second video we filmed over there Yeah, and the funny thing is in the comments of our podcast last week people said that we were on the fence talking about what it was Meanwhile on the side cast it already what it was. Oh weeks ago. Oh, so official. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah actually

While filming it, everyone was like, this is a stinker. It actually was all right. Yeah, the edit saved it. It saved it a lot. Between the two. But while we were doing it, we got told the night before there were no fish. Yeah. Well, he was nervous for a long time. And then we were at a meal the night before, and the waitress was like, yeah, it's the wrong season to fish or the wrong time of day as well because it needs to be cold and stuff. So it's about 45 minutes into it, we found a fish. Like we caught one. Well, no, no, no. I found one. It fell off.

Okay. But we caught one. Yeah. And I saw Harry like, yes! Yeah. Even though, yeah. But watching it back, our Donnies just did everything. Yeah. They did everything.

- Sometimes they didn't. Like I know that they said, oh, they caught every single fish. We just reeled it in. But there was actually ones where we put it in. - And you would see it move. - And then yeah. Like I went over to Ethan. I was like, that one's moving. And he grabbed it and did it. - Someone timestamped it in the comments. And my favorite part, 'cause it's a big one where Voldemort, by the way, the guy was called Voldemort. - No one believed me. I was like, ask him his name. What's your name? - Voldemort. - Voldemort. - Yeah.

- Is that a real name? Can you Google it? - His name was Voldemort. - Oh. - No, it's Voldemort. - Voldemort. - Yeah, Voldemort. Everyone kept saying Voldemort. - It's only Voldemort 'cause you can't say Voldemort. - There you go, this guy. So this one's really funny 'cause obviously the guy is just- - He's done the whole thing. - He's eating. He's eating. He's eating and comes through like, "Oh yeah, I'll get that, chief."

Literally, he wound it about four seconds. But I think it was also because I think your boat was better. I think you had a better crew, to be honest. So I want to apologize for that because you know what happened, right? Because I swapped teams. Yeah, yeah. Whoever was the bigger team got the bigger boat. Yeah, because in the video... So I was on your team and we had the bigger boat and then I swapped. Yeah. You were like, oh, man. I'm the reason why we swapped. I was like, yeah, but... Because you were saying, oh, congratulations to those. I was like, you just still been on the good boat. Regardless. Oh, yeah, but...

It could have been anyone. Anyone could have swapped. Anyone could have been picked last. But in hindsight, I actually, I mean, I enjoy our boat because I enjoy the whole life. I enjoy just, well, drinking, I guess. No, but your boat was like, you could put like,

way more you put more rods in yeah and just let them holster and then they would they would watch them in about eight at a time yeah we had like like we had maybe like one each and now i was at one point i was lying down just with the with the rod in the water just my own business two things number one the captain trolled me by pulling the cord and i was actually hiring a fucking massive one and i'm like smiling and stuff and then he's like now the guy's messing with you and the second one i want to make this claim right here right now

I was not asleep on this boat. They keep trolling me. They're winding me up now. So Harry and Vic, so Harry and Josh just keep saying, oh, Randy was sleeping, man. Can't believe Randy was sleeping. I wasn't sleeping. I was lying down just with my rod out. Mad. Sounds weird. And my sunglasses on and I'm waiting for it to bite, you know. I wasn't asleep at all. Con thought I was asleep. And Con, I'm calling Con out. Con tells them lot that, oh, Randy's sleeping. No, I'm not sleeping. I'm just waiting for a little bite.

And also every time they shouted at me, I just couldn't hear me. But I think me, who was, who was on our team? Me, Ethan, Freezy, Kallax, Vic. I think me, Lux and Vic all had a nap as we went out. Yeah, you did actually, yeah. And then as soon as I heard Freezy, like I was in and out of sleep, heard Freezy grab a cider and I was like, please give me one. And then halfway through the video, I look over like me and Freezy is just kind of standing there. No, me and Ethan are. And Freezy's kind of sat down just like,

dying a little bit yeah because we woke up really early and vick's just fully asleep and then we catch one and they both just go oh we go on and just immediately go on for camera yeah yeah i was like okay fair play if you can you can turn it on for the camera that's fine yeah that's we would we were turning everything off the camera because obviously we knew that number one the we're harry harry's video yes we know he's nervous anyway then also you guys got this like sick boat we've got like a little fucking the stickiest boat ever there's nowhere to go on it

So we were like, well, what can we do? So we were just trying to do anything to make the video fun. We were bottle flipping. I mean, that's not even content. It's just like literally last... Toby threw up actually, which made the video quite fun. Yeah. Toby threw up a little bit. Well, so the idea of this video, we were... Where were we? We had just filmed Mystery Box, the last one. And we were having this meeting outside, like we need to come up with these videos, blah, blah, blah. Oh, let's go to Portugal and do these two videos. Yeah. Yeah.

We hadn't decided on the second video and Harry was like, fishing. We go fishing, we play some games, we blah, blah, blah. And the idea it was meant to be was you go out, you catch fish for, it's who can catch the most fish for the first two hours, three hours.

You go back in, you have lunch all together and you know, winner gets this, whatever. Then you go back out after you've had a few drinks and you have to catch things that look like, you know, all the things we got. And then we come back together and in between in that lunch period, you play like,

you might have a battle on the things. But Harry just got really drunk and put them all at the end. So it made like no sense. It was just fishing for six hours. - Yeah, it was, it was. - And then we go, "Oh, Harry, what are we doing now?" And he goes, "We're going on the beach." "Okay, how are we getting there?" And he goes, "Swim."

- And what about the cameraman? - True. - Swim. - So how can we get the camera to get over? - With the cameras. - Have you seen the video? It's my favorite part in the video. 'Cause Harry, you're having this conversation while Harry's in the water and someone goes, "Harry, how are we gonna get the cameraman to the beach?" And he just goes, "I don't know." - Yeah, well, when we said, "Oh, the cameras can't go in the water," he goes, "I'll be honest, I'm..." Does anyone wanna take this video for half? I'll take half the video if someone wants to take over at this point.

But then, funnily enough, it came out really fun because of the mayhem. Yeah, for sure. Which I guess, how is it out of 10? Not amazing. No, no, no. Let me look. Have a guess. I'll guess a six. Any other guesses? Five. Yeah, five. I'll say five. It's an eight. Oh, stinker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But do you think the stinkers come from... In Simon videos, do you think they come from the actual...

Concept itself or the content because mr. Beast obviously kind of content not anymore this start that you say that that Gets viral because of the watch time and all that shit. Yeah, just checking that stuff actually affects time in videos It's just like what's the idea? Mmm, cuz you know the road trip will just do better because like a road trip It's like the pinnacle of like yeah, but three teams normally does better. Oh because

it's just more to cut between like your your attention is always there what was a car video out of ten was that car video i mean right now yeah now different all right well as in the car video road trip big v small is two out of ten the car challenge is three out of ten okay cool so stuff where there's teams is always it always does better yeah but also the concept like this

Like when we said the original title, we were like Sidemen Drunk Fishing Bingo Challenge Battle. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, like what's the idea here? Yeah. I think Harry in his head wanted it to be like deep sea fishing, catching like massive fish, like high energy. But to be fair, it's just the wrong companies for that. Well, Voldemort put out a shark rod out the back. Oh, wow. It was like this massive one. And he was like, yeah, this will catch sharks. I think...

the whole time. - It's not where we were, we can see land very easily. - Yeah, we didn't go deep enough, right? Surely. And our boat couldn't even go deep because we couldn't anchor up. - I know. - Where were these guys going? And Tanya was saying, "Harry, can these guys go deep? Because their anchor can go further." He was like, "Yeah, fuck it. At this point, let them catch a fish, we'll just drink."

- Do you guys think it would have been better if, so like after a while everyone, our team like catching 25 fish would be boring. Do you think it would have been better if it was like first to 10 fish and then move on to like, 'cause after a while, like 30. - Yeah, there should have been, now looking back at it, there should have been different sections. So yeah, first to catch 10 fish.

Well, I think in the end, I think what happened was good for the video in terms of like what we had available to us. I think the only reason that could have got better is if like the boats were better and like the actual like area was better. In the end, it was funny that we were like, we were just getting shit faced and you guys were just catching fish. I think Toby smashed it. Yeah, well, Toby was getting help from the guy as well originally, but I don't think it was like, it was like the Vic one where Voldemort's like, I got the fish and Vic's like, okay, cool. Cheers, mate.

- Do you think it would be better if you have one big boat and but you both want like the team- - No, I don't like the idea of one boat. - I thought we could have been on your boat though. For sure, it's big enough. - But I don't think, I think it takes away a lot of it. 'Cause you like, it's better when you can just hear the cheering and stuff like that. And you can like, you can drive past them at certain points. - Yeah, the best part of this video was that I was bantering between boats. I was having a competition. The contrast of you guys getting fish and I was just like panicking. - Like you wouldn't have got drunk

next to us no no no on the boat no one wouldn't have yeah and then also you get more people like um chilling more you like because that's less yeah more people getting the fish more people chilling like they were saying i was they just should have had two of the same boat and they almost should have gone the people showing us how to do it can't do anything after the first five minutes yeah they just go do this because he showed us straight away he went here's the bait do this put it on the hook put it on this hook put it out

do that yeah and then when yeah that was it yeah he could have left it at that and we would have been like all right cool i kept running too fast at the start he's like they're gonna they're gonna fall off the fish is gonna just gonna rip the mouth open and the fish gonna fall away i can't believe my fish fell and i didn't know i was supposed to put it in the boat so then i'm like reeling it in and i didn't think i actually had one and they're like no you've got one you've got one i was like what the fuck i was like oh i'm moving around i think you just hit the side and dropped off

But it was fun. It was a good time. That was a good trip as well. But the whole trip was really fun, actually. And I went to rush after that shoot for golf. Yeah. And I'm still so angry at Kallax, by the way. So for those who don't know, we had a very small window. Yeah, last week. No, but I didn't tell him how slow he was being.

In what? No, so we had to rush. Oh, he never mentioned this. We had to rush and we had like literally eight minutes to get to check in, shit shower. You could only choose one or none actually. And then... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like we were all in the van like probably already a little bit too late. And then like Lux is nowhere to be seen and we're texting him in the chat like, where are you? He's like, I'm coming. And then like... And everyone's really angry now. We're actually like, we're going to leave and he has to walk there. And then like he just...

gets out of the hotel and he's just like casually meanders yeah like looking out looking left right he takes a photo with someone and we're like hurry up man he gets in the car he's like what and we're like ah we're so angry but I do want to say actually this is another thought on my mind and I did write it down on my phone to talk about this today and I forgot to bring it up last time John you know you broke my shower

- Oh yeah, he was fuming about this. - Yeah, I- - Did you know this? Look at his smile, he knows he did it. - So I panicked. - Why didn't you just tell me? - Because you were very drunk and I didn't want to anger you. I wanted you to have a good round of golf. I didn't want to fuck up the golf. - You could've been like, "Oh, shower's broke." - The thing is, I was gonna go up to the people at the counter and be like, "Oh, in this room, the shower's whatever." But then I didn't want them to know that you'd let me use your shower. I thought it looked weird. - I can't believe he actually, not telling him, fair.

- But not going to the reception, bad. - I thought that could look bad though. I thought it would make me get in trouble for letting me use the shower. - Well, how was it broken? - Bro, I was just taking a shower. - Let me tell you what happened and then you can tell me how it looked from your perspective. So I get back to my room and by the way, I put in the shower, I was like, Jon brought my shower and then deep in my head, I was like, like, cause Jon asked me, he's like, can I use your shower? And I was like, obviously it's fine to do that. But I'm like, there's something about me that makes me wanna say no.

- And then like, 'cause Con's shower in your room. - Yeah. - And then we actually both said, I was like, who would you prefer to have a shower in your room? And we both said Con to be fair. - Yeah, but he's, yeah. - But then I get back to my room and I wasn't even surprised. I was like, oh, my shower's broke. I was like, oh, it's fucking John. I get in there and my shower's just running. It's just running. - No, okay. - And then I go to turn it off and this thing just doesn't stop spinning.

- And I had to sleep the entire night at night. It just drip, drip, drip, drip. - But I thought about it and I think it's because we did the low IQ move, right? They, he took his key and he gave his key back to reception for him to pick up. You didn't give me a key, right? So I never had any hot water 'cause you didn't give me the key. - Wait, hot water.

- I thought it was just electricity. - Really? - No, I had no hot water the whole time. So I think the whole mechanisms don't activate unless you use the key. So I think that- - A shower? - Yeah, mate, no, I couldn't get anything like properly working. I had to switch- - Mad. - I switched- - I was in the room for like two minutes as you started. You could have just told me.

- Oh no, yeah, but we did both weren't thinking like that. You had to go off and I had to think. But I was honestly, I panicked. I used your other shower. - I could have just got two keys. Did you? Well, I had to then for the trip. - Yeah, well, mate, obviously I panicked. - I was just saying too, I got two showers. - Yeah, I didn't want to ruin your golf. I'm very sorry. - But I was more worried about like Simon not gonna get a bill for like... - Yeah. - We haven't heard anything. - No, I have no idea. - I panicked and then I had to get a flight, so.

- I was like such a John thing to do. - Sorry. - So John, if someone was gonna break your shower, it'd be John. - I had a theory that you were gonna walk in, put the key in and it would fix it. That's what I was thinking. That's what I thought. - I'm trying to think of, I must've put the key in, right? I must've like had lights. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - The whole time all I thought was, I'm gonna get a shit over this. So I just might as well wait. - I will say that second hotel was way better than the first one. - Oh, so good. - But the air con from that first hotel was unbelievable. - Yeah. - Did you have any comments? - Almost too good.

Yeah, it was very cold. Yes. And then it turned off, by the way, at like 3 a.m. And I woke up in sweats. And I was like, how's this happening? The air con was so good. Fell back to sleep sweating. Woke up and was cold. Okay, nice. I don't know what's good. Maybe you pissed yourself. Maybe. Maybe it wasn't sweat. No, but for some reason in that hotel, right, it felt like the air con was coming through the sheets.

It felt like it was coming from the bed. - You're on some different wave. - Nah, bro, it was so good. - You're awesome. - I was like, oh man. - Different wave. - I was saying it in the group and Frizz was like, "Man, bro, you're nice and hello and grateful." 'Cause the better hotel was like, you know. Oh, I forgot we had three cameras there. He's like, "Clean the camera." I'm like, "How are you filming this?"

Yeah, that was a good trip. When did we do the podcast last week? With Lux. Yeah, but was it after? It was after Portugal. After Freya's? Yes. But I didn't go to Freya's. Yeah, because you're a bad friend. Yes. Then the next day we did the podcast. Yes. I did Psycast and then podcast. And then the next day we went to Malta. Yeah, we went to Malta. Bro, I'm so happy to be home. Like, I love Malta, I love Portugal, but I'm so happy to just be home.

- Well, yeah, but like- - I know you're not. - Yeah, I know. My life is, I need to fix this, man. It's honestly so stressful. 'Cause you know, I was like for so long, I can't wait for September. 'Cause September's my month where I'm gonna be at home. And I was like, oh, I've got a charity match, that's one day, fine. And now I'm here from Tuesday till Sunday.

I mean, it's my own fault. I don't have to go to the sideman video tomorrow. I don't have to play golf tomorrow. Yeah. You literally were like, I want to be there. I do want to be there for that video. And then we're maybe going to do another one of these, aren't we? Before the charity match. Yeah. Maybe. Well, I was thinking Friday. Yeah. It's fine with me. Yeah. And then obviously got the match and then like probably I'll probably stay after the match. Then I'm thinking like, when do you want to do the post sideman match podcast? Cause like, Oh God.

I should have removed home. Oh, God. I'm just never. When are we going to do that? We'll figure it out. We'll figure that out. What about after the charity match late night? Hell no. No way. No way. No way. No. Even last year, I know we were like, we were saying the same thing, but no. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the charity match. By the way, I'm so tired because I, this 75 hard thing, right? Went golf yesterday. Then I hadn't done my workout yet. I was like, I'm going to do it at nighttime. But then I was like, so I was feeling so like,

slumped and so lazy. I was like, I'm going to have a bit of prime to like help me up. And then obviously my new rule is no caffeine after three o'clock. So I was like, well, what do I do now then? Either just, I'm just like whiny. So I had a bit of prime. In my head, I was like, you know, I'll work out so hard that I'll just, and I'll shower. That'll be so tired after the workout. I'll fall straight asleep. Got in bed like half 10, 11 and just wide awake. Didn't fall asleep. You had prime energy. Only like literally a quarter of a can. You know how much that is? I know. But, but,

Is there out there like a natural, what is BCAA? Is that caffeine too? Yeah. That's what I thought. Branched chain amino acid. Oh. What is it that Josh drinks? Knocker. That's the one. That has caffeine. Yeah, of course. Donnie does not have it next to his, he has it next to his lips at all time. Yeah, yeah.

- In daytime it'll be fine. - Toby said, next time he has it right, watch how he's stat, he talks like this. - Really? - Yeah, like his mouth is next to the can. - Inside the can. - Yeah. - No, no, no, just in general. - Well, yeah, yeah, I don't really see him that much in the daytime. - True. - Just see him at night time. - See him tomorrow? - But that'll be, oh yeah. - Guarantee he has a can. - Okay, cool, yeah, I'll watch out for him. But I woke up today really tired, so it's a bad day. That's what I'm saying, but then also I feel like my routine was better before the hard 75 thing.

Yes, is everyone going to do two sessions of exercise the day before the charity match? Because I know one of them can be a walk and that's fine. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll probably just go gym and then just walk. But also, I'm not, I don't know. How are you feeling for the charity match? I mean, everyone keeps asking me this. Everyone's like, are you excited for it? I'm like, for me, I don't know because I'm excited for the day. But I only play like five minutes and I'm knackered in that anyway. So I'm nervous enough for my own five minutes. It's going to be like 30 degrees.

- Oh, is it? Fuck. Oh no. Oh no. - Saturday's like the hottest. - I keep hearing about this Amber Alert for weather. I'm like, I don't care. - Saturday's the hottest day. - Okay. - It's gonna be bad. I don't run as it is. This is gonna make me run less. - And I'm not trying to- - 32 degrees. - By the time this podcast comes out, pretty much all the teams have been announced, right? - Yeah. I mean, pretty much everyone has already. - Yeah, yeah. 32 degrees. - Wow. - Between two and five.

So every year we have this whole thing about the teams of whose team is better, are we too good? Every single year. And it's always such an argument. It's like the only thing that we actually argue about. And I think me and Josh are the leaders of our team isn't good enough. Harry is the leader of our team's too good. So some years, obviously like the first year, we won like 7-2 or something. Our team was too good. Next year, they won 2-0.

Boring game. Their team was too good. Because we literally didn't even get a shot. Third year, we won again like 7-3 or something like that, but

Chris MD did a XG. Yeah. And they actually should have won. They just missed like hundreds of shots from a yard out. I would say last year was like the perfect game. Last year, perfect. Both, and I know we won, but teams were even. They were even, yeah. Yeah. And this year? This year, again, we're arguing. And I think like, I think Harry still thinks our team's too good. I think their team's still too good. But you have no bench, right? Yeah.

No offence. No, that's offence to you. No, I'm saying no offence to the rest of the people on the bench. Can you reveal our bench at all? Well, we don't know the starting line-up. Okay, but roughly who would you say is on the bench? I mean, if we had like, let's say, MrBeast, you, I don't know if Chandler's on our team. I don't know who else we've got. Those people already, not in terms of size of career, but in terms of footballing ability. I mean, at least you've got people who can run there.

- Yeah, MrBeast is in shape. - He's in shape, yeah, yeah. I saw him on Twitter, by the way. He thought he was in goal. See that? - Yeah. - Some KSI news tweeted like the fan lineup that they thought was real. He's like, "What, I'm in goal?" - So I saw Kai reacting to it as well. Kai reacted to a lineup and he was like, "I'm on the bench. I'm starting on the bench." And I'm thinking, well, the manager hadn't even been announced. So how do you know your team? - Yeah, but obviously the MrBeast and Kai probably don't get that the manager will choose the teams. - Yeah.

- I mean, to be fair. - You guys will choose, right? - No, we can't choose their team 'cause it's a bit unfair. - Oh, their team, but you can choose your team. - But I think there's certain players that we will say like, like Speed, for example. - He has to start, right? - He has to start. - Surely he has to be the star too, you know? - And he also has to play, yeah. - Yeah. - But Speed also has to play quite a bit. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause he's such a big name. - Yeah, cool, cool. - Like he's flown all the way over.

And if he scores, it's the biggest moment of the whole thing. I just don't want to be like, I don't want that. Like a mind of a nation. Not no. Right. Uh, I think they're being announced today. Okay. Well, you can say it. You can say it. Okay. It was Billy, right? Billion garbage. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't want Billy to look at the bench.

No, but Billy was really good last year. He was really good, but also still he had options. I don't want him to be like, because obviously he was a good manager last time because he, number one, gave everyone minutes, but also he did make good subs too. So he was like, okay, number one, how to make subs to make the game better. And then he was like, oh, let's give everyone minutes. I don't want him to go like, right, shit, we actually need someone to go and do a job in midfield here. He looks at the bench and got Randolph there like, hi, mate. I mean, last time he put me on a striker and even then,

just because I can't run. Then I was like, mate, although I was on treadmill this week, I was like, actually, I can run more than I used to. But it's different in a game. That's where, you know, I scored the goal from like the byline. Yeah. I look up and the reason I do this is because I see you, Laserbeam, and Carl Jacobs at the far side. I know, I know. I just said,

None of you are beating Harry Panera in the air. But you know what? But ping a ball to me. I'm still saying, by the way, I'm better than you guys think I am. And Chris was like, no way. Cause I was in Chris's video, but let's play at one point anyway, but also on Saturday, but also, uh, Caldwell was like 10 foot of his line. Yeah. At once. So you did the right thing by just shooting. I mean, it went in. So by the way, wait,

- Well, - JJ's a keeper. People know that right now. I saw someone announce that. Cyprus announced it actually. - Yeah? Okay. - In the comments. Yeah, they did. They did. - Okay. - Cause everyone thought JJ wasn't playing. Now they do know he's a goalie. - Okay. - For sure. - Well he is now. - Well he is now. The non knows who the other goalie is. - I thought everyone knew that goalie in the Oz. - Oh shit.

Cool, man. No, I'm pretty sure because everyone in the comments on one of the Side Plus videos were panicking that JJ's not playing. Oh. But everyone was like, no, he's playing but in goal. Oh, okay. Well, XQC was... Yes. XQC literally dived around his room. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I don't want to be really cruel to this little person, but I actually do think that XQC could potentially be better than Call of the Dragon.

Just based on pure like mindset. I've heard a rumor. Yeah. That he was a hockey goalkeeper. That's well, that's quite ballsy as it is. The goals are this big though. Yeah. But it means if you shoot at him, he won't move out the way. Yeah. True. Which is me and Chris MD both scored last year at Chris, at Cal the dragon. And he moved. Yeah. So I'm saying more like, I think XQC will play up. Although he might be like Fabian Bartes and just jump around, but not actually do anything. But I mean,

- I'm excited to watch this. I'm not excited. I mean, I'm always excited to play, but like, you know, I'm just, I get nervous. - I think I've been more,

unhealthy in the last two weeks building up to this than I ever have been. But you haven't travelled a lot. Yeah. And it's meant I've just had like kebabs and pizzas and oh. Yeah. And I went out and kicked I probably took like a hundred shots the other day in my garden. Oh yeah. Not for a video just I was kicking it. Cool man. And my ankle is now swollen. Oh no. I'm literally like oh god I hope it goes down the next day or two. I remember last year before the match we go out to warm up right and then

Everyone's kicking balls around. I just boot the ball and I just like pull my thighs. I'm like, ah man, it hurts to kick the ball. And then we start doing stretches. I'm like, damn it, man. Should have kicked the ball after I stretched. I was injured in the warmup. - The Theos Scotland game. - Yeah. - I literally, I did something in the first minute and a half.

Oh, really? Yeah. If this happens in the charity match, I'm so upset. True, actually, yeah. You start to respect the actual pros more and more. Oh, 100%. Because they're going full in, week in, week out. Yeah. I mean, when you're like 20, it's just so much easier. We also know Harry Kane is younger than you. To be fair, footballers are a bit young, by the way. That's too depressing, isn't it? They're not. We're just old. Yeah. But even when I was that young, I was like, I can't believe he's the same age as me.

And he's playing. And now I'm like, I can't believe he's like 10 years younger than me. I think someone put a stat of Martinelli the other day. And Google Martinelli, his age, I think he's 22. It's like three full seasons of Premier League, like 38 games each. It's like crazy, isn't it? That is nuts. And Foden's won like five, like fricking trophies. 22. 22, yeah, it must have been him. The picture wouldn't load who it was, but I was trying to work out who it was. But yeah, man, craziness. Yeah. But I'm excited for the game for sure. Born in 2001. Wow, it was his birthday, a day after Harper's.

Like, birthday, not... Yeah. He wasn't born a day after half-life. Damn, they are. Football's young these days. But what do you reckon for the score? Oh, yeah, true. Score, I reckon we're going to see a... Well, again, I don't really know the teams until I see it on the pitch, probably. But I reckon it's going to be... Actually, you know what? Because I've heard arguments from both teams.

They're saying our team's actually not that good, not as good as it was last year. They're saying our team isn't, or their team's. They're saying they're not as good as they were last year. They say this every year, though. Because you know the year they won 2-0? Yeah. That's the only year they've all come into the hotel in the morning and they all came up to us and said, you lot have stitched us up. You've done this so you win and look good. I went, we ain't done nothing. And then we lost 2-0. Theo had his operation after the game last year, or before. Yeah.

- So he was playing with his right foot last year. - Yeah. - And this year he's gonna play left foot. - He's going to, but like the Scotland game he scored with his right foot. - Yeah, if they're losing, he's gonna just play. - Well, no, it's like, he'll use his left if he can, but if someone shows him onto- - Yeah, true, it's not a shootout, is it? It's not a video where he can just choose to use his left foot. If he can, he'll use it. - If he gets put onto his right, he's gonna use his right. And he took a free kick in a video that's coming up. - I heard about this. - Yeah, and beautiful. - Yeah. - He almost cried. - Not because of the game, he's just depressed.

No, he's not really. So yeah, score. Yeah, score. I think it's going to be, well, I'm not going to go with last year's score just because like, I don't want to hype it up too much and be like, can I compete? Let's say like, I think it's going to be 5-4. Nah, can't be. To us. Can I be undecided? Do I have to put prediction in?

You know, 5-4 to you two. Why not? I think 6-3 to them. Yeah, it's not bad if they win. No, I actually... I genuinely... People are going to say, oh, you definitely... Maybe you care more in the past than you do now. I care about being goals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For both teams. Like, I would rather lose 10-4 than 1-0. Yeah, yeah. If we lose 1-0, I'll be so... That would be the most gutting result possible. See, as someone who is me...

- You. - As myself, yeah. I just hope it's not like one nil. - That's what I'm saying. - To them. 'Cause then it's like, then Billy's like, "Fuck me, who do I actually bring on here?" 'Cause you gotta bring someone on. But then also everyone's mad at me. I can misplace a pass or something and it'd be like four four. But if you're like two nil down, and everyone's like, "Randy, man, I'm sorry, bro." - Well, the thing we always said was just, look, you can try and win as much as you want, but if you are winning, switch it up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I mean? Like if we went five nil up,

There's no chance you would see Manny on the pitch. No, there's no way. Ain't no way. It's also like...

Last year, I was thinking, that's why I'm laughing. There's a time where Philly had the ball and like I'm the only one there to like mark him or challenge him. And I'm like, I'm running up to him like, what am I gonna do? Like, it was the worst feeling. So I'm like, I have to like look like I'm trying to get the ball off him. But also like, there's no way I get the ball off him. There's no, like, there's also no point in trying. I was like, trying to get the ball off him. And he just does me and everyone's like, oh, I'm like, no, don't cheer him, man. It's not a good thing to, you just run past me. There was one moment in the match last year where it's like, we're losing by a goal. It's like, they've just scored.

And then Billy makes two subs and I just, I can't remember who it was who came off. It was two players came off like Toby and JJ or Toby and Ethan or something like that. And we bring on Laserbeam and MrBeast. And I'm thinking, we are not trying to win at this point. Sorry, but yeah. But that made it fun at least. Also, the pitch is massive, man. This one's going to feel bigger as well, right? It should feel bigger because of the stadium. Yeah, and also the crowd in the last stadium.

Firstly half. Yeah, but secondly it's on the page. Yeah. Yeah, where is this one? There's like a it's way further even even though the pitch is small Even though the pitch is the same size roughly that add a bit makes it feel bigger Yeah, just makes it just makes you seem that you're running further percentage-wise, you know, so like when we play like for example Vic Stag do that we play on the grass I mean I was knackered then but I was like at least I can get up the torture I can you know, at least be in the right position and

this 11th season I can't be in the right position anyway that's why I gotta play up front or like close up there because I can't cover I can't come back but I'm really excited I mean I've lost a lot of weight since last time at least but you know still not as much that should be a good day should be a very good day for sure for sure it's always nice just to have everyone there as well yeah the hotel vibes are nice yeah and then you got that that coach journey yeah it's nice like last time I remember um

Niko asked speed a question and was like, oh what are we doing about this and he went I'm not telling you our tactics same team and I'm on your team but it's just funny having everyone there and I think that's the clip where everyone says um, how the dragon's got 600 ping because he laughed so late he laughs after a while yeah the vibes are good the pre-match meals are fun the changing rooms are fun yeah um that isn't a water break because of the heat yeah oh what I also saw half times longer as well right because

Because a little bit longer. Yeah, we got H. Wow, you said what I say. Yeah. H. Yeah.

It should be good. It should be a very good day. So make sure you're watching. 3pm Saturday, 5pm channel. Donate. You can also notify yourself right now. You can go on there. I've seen it. I've done it. Why? You're going to be playing. I always like seeing how many views are on there. The game starts and he's on the pit. No, it was the warm-up. I've been in the changing room seeing how many views it's got and all that stuff. That was the best feeling last... I can't remember the score. Can you see the score at halftime?

But that was the best thing ever, right? We went back into the changing room. Before the game, we knew it was like, I think it was 2.6 we got? 2.6. I might just be making the number up. But we got to like 1.8 before the match. Yeah. And then we came in at halftime and it's like, we've got this many views, by the way. Yeah. And we're like, oh my God. And they were like, yeah, and the total's up to this amount. And we were like, what? Yeah.

Yeah, so we were losing 4-3, but our vibes in the changing room were unreal. They were actually. That's when JJ had that hydration tablet that you put in a drink and just ate it. But then somehow he was like, oh, I've still got it in. Everyone's like, no, you're supposed to put it in water. He's like, oh, I've still got it though. I'm just joking. I'm like, oh, you're joking. You're just sucking on it a bit long. We'll bob in there.

But now I'm excited. My energy, by the way, today is really low. Not in a good way. I've been on this podcast before, really, really tired. It's because it's 75 hard. Yeah, maybe it is. This podcast is sponsored by DraftKings. Can you believe we've had seven months without an NFL game? Crazy, right? Well, good thing that's over.

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the issuance, eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. - I've got a few things on my phone to bring up. - Okay. - I don't want to talk about it much more. - No, I'm good. - Are we here enough? - Yeah. - Okay, I hear my things. Number one is, you know when you asked a question a while ago, John, about like, you know that superpower that is not too overpowered? I felt what I had, well, I had an idea in my head the other day. My phone was in my pocket, right? And it kept vibrating. And I was like, I would love to know what my power would be. I would love my power to be knowing what app is vibrated.

Why not? Is that a good one? That's pretty good. Yeah, just one or more like a little bit more specific. I'd love to know what the message was. No, that's too overpowered. Is it? Yeah. For example, I want to know that like it's not like... Is that that overpowered? I think it fits the bill. That's sick. It's so just a little add-on. Because right, okay. I heard this on the trips we're on, right? You've got your phone in your pocket. You can hear it by breathe, but it's not on... I have our message, so double one means it's our message.

Actually, I might just change every app to a different vibration. Can you do that? I don't know. I'll check. Probably on your phone, probably not, mate. I'm more than likely on my phone, actually. John has the phone. You know the Android, like the meme where it's like, dum-dum-doo-dum or something? He has it loud. I'm like, bro, just change the tone, man. I just want to flex on everyone.

It's not flexing. I know you're going to say that. It's more like a badge. Yeah. Like a blue badge. Anyway, no, so it vibrates and it's like, oh, X or a notification on Instagram. I don't want to look at that, but if I know it's from someone or I know it's WhatsApp or I know it's like email, I'm more like, look at it.

- Oh, there you go. - Play store that actually is to set customer. Oh, Jack, you got Android too, right? - No, no, on my phone. - Really? You seem like such an Android guy, no offense. Is that an insult? Is that an insult? - No, you do. - I don't know what it is, just, yeah. - Lawrence, is Lawrence an Android? - He has to be. - No. - Really? - It's just you? - It's just me. - Why did it? - You're on the fence, but I would have leant more towards Android. - What about me makes you think I'm Android?

Geeky. I think you're his friend, by the way. I think just because you're John's friend. It might be that. Lawrence was like, I would have put money on that. Yeah, true. I would have said 100%. No, he's an iPhone boy. Wow. Crazy. I've always been iPhone. Like Calyx screams Android. Yeah. He's not anymore. No. But he still, he does seem like an Android user.

- Yeah. - At this point it's too hard to move over though, you know? - It's not. - Because all my shit's on Android. So I can't, it's like, I'd have to- - What do you mean all your shit's on Android? - Hmm? - What is on Android? - Pictures, all that. - What's that, what, on Google Drive? - No, like on the phone, like it moves- - Androids don't have that. - It's not a switch. - It's off Google Drive. - You know when you do iPhone, you migrate all your shit over, right? - iCloud and that, yeah. - Yeah. I haven't got iCloud obviously, so how do I? - Google Drive. - Nah, long day, mate.

It's not on an iPhone. It's actually quite easy Anyway, my second thing is what is the animal you would least like to be killed by would least like to be killed by? Okay What animal would you least like to be killed by I would be groups of animals. It could be like a billion ants Oh, look on some answer bear clever by the way, well, not sure if the clever no, they're not slugs. Oh

- How would that even kill you? - I don't know, but slugs. - Like going to your esophagus and just stay there. - Yeah, but like the whole time, like they'd be doing it. How does this happen? What do you mean? - What do you mean? - Like if I chose an ant, do they all just crawl at me at once? - Yeah. - So imagine slugs crawling at me really slowly. And then when they're finally on me, I'm going, "Ugh." - Okay, I don't think you could be killed by a slug though. - You can, I think you eat their poison.

- Oh no, didn't that one kid like bite one and die? - Yeah. - Okay, that's not being killed by one. I'm like, I want like, okay. The rules are it has to actually like do something to you. Like- - Attack you. - Yeah, but like you can just waft it off. Like if you saw a slug walking to you, you'd be like, okay, I'm walking in the right direction or I'm just gonna walk past it. - I saw a billion ants coming at me. - That's different though, 'cause I had a billion of them. - Okay, a billion slugs. - No, but okay.

- How does a slug not work but an ant does? - Because ants could lift you up. Like a lot of ants together could lift you up. I don't think slugs could lift you up. - I think a billion slugs could hold my weight. - They can hold your weight. They can't lift you up. Like slugs are just, they can't, there's no hands. - Slugs could smother you though. - Yeah. - All right guys, well. - All right, I'll choose a better animal for you. I'll go with a,

- It's the one I would least like to be killed by. - I got attacked by a snake in my dream the other day. I just remembered right now. - Yeah? Cool. - Yeah. - I'll go with a, what's that millipede centipede thing that bites you and then it like causes like a burn feeling. - Cockroach. - No. There's a guy, you know the guy who like lets things bite him? - Yeah.

- He had like a millipede and he literally, let's say bite him here. - Did he die? - No, but he was, he's literally on the floor screaming like, "Ah, this is the worst thing." - I can't either. - Why? - I want it to kill you. Like it has to kill you right now. - Multiple of those will kill me. - Yeah, but like not, it has to kill you in five seconds. Like a lion could. - Why was your thing ants? - Ants could do it in five seconds. - No, they couldn't. I would just take five steps to the side. - They could pick you up. - They can't just pick me up. - Together in unison they could. - Any animal could with enough. - I know, I know.

Millipede is just a big ant I'd say Millipede's boring as well what is your answer lion

I would quite like to be killed. Not like to be, but out of all the animals, I think I'd be going out. Well, bear is the worst because obviously it doesn't want to eat you. It wants to just kill you. Polar bear. Yeah. Did you see that video? Polar bear. What video? This girl skiing. What song is she singing? The one where it's chasing her. Yeah. She's singing like Rihanna's song or something. It's just chasing her. She has no idea. But that's not a polar bear, actually. I think it's just a bear in snow. Maybe. But a polar bear because of...

The video clip, I think it's Joe Rogan, talks about. And the guy is telling the story about how there's people got stranded off a ship on a patch of ice. They can't go anywhere because there's just water around them. And then a polar bear comes onto this ice block 200 meters away. But there's loads in between. And he basically, the polar bear just jumps in the water, goes onto the next ice. Jumps in the water, onto the next ice. Slowly makes its way all the way to them. And he kills them. Jumps on.

grabs one of them and just swims back onto the next ice thing. - Oh wow. - And just eats him in front of everyone. - So didn't even kill it yet. - The guy's alive like while he's eating him. - That would really suck. - And I'd have to look at all of these people not being eaten. - True. I'd shove my head in first. I'd be like, take this pot. - I don't think you get a choice. - Nah, surely I can like. - I don't think you can go, nah, you look, you can eat me, but eat this first. - I can put my head in his mouth. - I don't think you have time. - Because it hurts, yeah.

- Yeah. Orcas, by the way, I heard about orcas. Apparently they just kill things for fun. - Yeah. Have you not seen them like flip dolphins? Is it dolphins they do? - Seals. - No, seals. - I've seen it kick a seal. - Yeah. - Not kick, but like- - They boot them in the air. - Yeah, that's fucking awful. - Is it orcas as well that just sink boats for fun? - Yeah, they attack you. - Yeah. - No, but they don't attack you. They just sink the boat and then- - No, I meant that. And then they attack the boat for fun, yeah. - Okay, any other animals? - Can you put a picture on the screen of an orca? - Is Free Willy an orca?

- Yes. - Orcas are the ones that they keep at SeaWorld, right? - Yeah. - Oh, killer whale. Is it called orca more than a killer whale? - It's like a black one with white bits. - Oh, killer whale. Wait, what's its official name? - Killer whale. - Orca. - Orca. - Like that. - Go on Wikipedia, go on the actual website, I wanna see like. - Orca. - Also called killer whale, but it's orca's the real one. - Yeah, killer whale was like the dumb version. - I might YouTube some killer whales, see what happens. - No, sorry. - They're gonna find you. - Don't do it.

- I mean, see what they do to things. It's a free time tonight, why not just watch Orca videos? - I'm gonna guess a killer whale kills things. - Yeah. - Why though, what makes them do that? - Just their dicks, apparently. - Have you ever seen them break apart ice to get to things? They'll be like a seal on a big block of ice and five of them will get together, create a massive wave, break the ice. Like so it falls, they coordinate. - Like a church youth group. - Jack, get out. - I saw one had a fish.

and it was trying to get a bird on the side so it put the fish on the side and then just lurked in the water and as soon as the bird went over it went wow they're smart they are smart they're evolving we should end them dolphins are really smart too right dolphins are really smart yeah isn't it crazy how like these things in the sea are really smart too they're aliens well don't you know that they actually think jellyfish not jellyfish octopuses are actually aliens i mean have you heard that theory yeah watch this right he's chilling on there

Was that a fish? Oh, this is gonna be horrible. Well, I don't think you see the actual... If we can't show this, it's still chilling. I mean, it's on BBC Earth. There are three orcas. Three orcas just surround... Oh, look at it! It knows as well. It's like, my day is numbered. Oh, okay, so they swim, create a huge wave that takes it off the top of... That's really smart. Yeah.

They're not that big though, are they? They're bigger whales, I mean. They are bigger whales, yeah. Yeah, but they're nice whales. But they attack the bigger whales. There's no recorded fatalities on humans. There's what? There's no recorded fatalities on humans. From killer whales? It's pretty easy to just play with those. So why do we call them killer whales? They have killed humans. That doesn't count. Yeah, we've been like poking the bear. In the wild, none. I actually heard about all this on the Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer podcast.

And then Bert was like, maybe we should have locked them up. Maybe we actually should have. Maybe Sybil had a point. But obviously animal cruelty is bad guys. But also, you could argue about all these animals.

What are you arguing about? Okay, you have three bears, polar bears. Polar bears are now the main species on the planet, not us, right? They would literally lock us up. They would kill us. They would keep us in captivity. No, they wouldn't. They would kill us. Yeah, true. They wouldn't have us as captives. Okay, so killing animals is not bad, but keep making them do flips is... I get that. No, that's not what I'm saying. Okay.

I get that. Do other things on my list when I hear them. Yep. So I've Americans, two things Americans do that I hate and I just find this out. They don't have kettles. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's one of them. Is it? Yeah. I know you said earlier. Yeah, I was like, yeah, but okay, anyway. So how do they boil water? I think it's a pan. In a stove.

- Yeah, so this is why, okay. I started looking at this on TikTok and my eyes started to get more and more wide as I got more and more shocked. The other one, so the two things are Americans don't know what kettles are. They don't know what they are. Not just that they don't have them. And number two, they don't butter their bread for sandwiches. - I saw this one today. - Yeah. - I sat on the toilet. - The baguette, right? - It's some girl reacting to a baguette. - Yeah, yeah, I saw that one. - Someone putting butter on it and she's like, "What?" - I knew that before from someone I know from America. - That one doesn't shock me though. - It doesn't shock me, but it's not, okay.

- It's not the fact that they don't do it. It's the fact that they don't like, they don't understand why it would be needed or why you would like it. - I'm gonna be honest. If I make myself a sandwich. - I knew you'd do this. - I don't bother putting any on. - I knew you'd do this. - Well, the tomatoes provide the juice. - Well, not everyone has tomatoes. - They use like mayo.

Yeah, I don't use either. I used to make when I come back from school and college the best time I was described Yeah, it's gonna be okay also on the side but my grandma used to make natural yogurt as a best thing I've ever seen it get the ogger but like strawberry cheese. Yeah, put like loads of chocolate. Yeah, what do you say? Boob cheese? I thought you just said cheese and I thought you just had that in your I was like who watch what you're getting in I don't cheese and yogurt isn't also yogurt cheese. No one puts I

Cheese and yogurt. No, no, okay. That's why I said yeah because I thought you just did it. Tell me about the sandwich. Okay. It doesn't sound horrible but it was really nice. Tell me, what kind of bread are we talking? Like...

Just bread. Like white bread. FYI, just on the bread, Americans put sugar in their bread. We don't. In their bread that is on shelves. They don't add it. It's in the bread. Yeah, but they don't get a piece of bread and put sugar on. No, no, no. That's alright. Understood. Do you, innit? Okay, but standard bread...

This already isn't the best sandwich. - It could be brown or it could be white. - It's not the best sandwich. - I was young, I was like 14. So whatever, I don't really care about what bread we had. - Two slices? - Yeah. - What's in between? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not two slices, one slice first. - Okay, one slice. - Yeah. Then I'd put butter on. - Yeah. I said two slices, what's in between? - No, no, no, 'cause there's more than three. There's three slices. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. So one slice. - Okay. - Butter. - Yeah. - Then I put ham on it. - Gross already. - And it was the ham that I like,

I bet it's the ones from like Tesco's or whatever like that and it just comes in slices that are like this big and round yeah with the orange stuff around it yeah oh crumb yeah I love I mean I don't like ham in general okay but fine but that's the worst one ham on it okay butter ham then I'd put any like any like lettuce or rocket whatever we have okay on it

Then I'll put mayo and I put quite a lot of mayo on actually. - Okay. - In like streaks. Not in, instead of the butter, just like in like lines. Then I'll put like, bear Doritos on it. I'd put like in it. - What flavour? - The cheese ones. - Okay. - Just like bear, orange, orange. - Yeah. - Bear them in there. Actually this sandwich just sounds so mid now. Then I put bread on top. - Yeah.

Then I put butter on that as well, both sides. Then I put the nits and it's the same. So it's just the same twice. It's just an awful sandwich. That is awful. That sandwich sounds so shit. When I first started, again, I don't think about what I'm going to say before I say it. I remember the memory of having it. It was nice, obviously. So it was ham, lettuce, crisps.

then bread then yes ham lettuce crisps and mayo but then the bread then again then again yeah you can just make two of them put them on top yeah yeah anyway anyway that's back to weird americans so no americans don't know what so there's this video on tiktok there's loads of videos of these like ladies and they're like i bought this thing from the store and she's like what is that she's like it heats up water she's

She's like, so you put it, you put it on this little base thingy, you put, put water in it and they're like literally pouring water bottles into it. And I thought the whole point of boiling water is that you can, you can use like, you can use tap water. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

and they're like just pour it in like 15 water bottles in and then they're like it's like full to the brim and they're like is that enough and she's like yeah I think that works and on the base it tells them how long to boil it for each kind of tea you want and obviously they don't know what this is they don't know whether

So they heat their water on stove. This is why they were saying, this is why they don't have much tea in America. They're not tea drinkers because they don't drink boiling tea. They just drink warm tea or iced tea or sugar tea or whatever. But I just like, I assumed, okay, maybe they don't like, you know, maybe they don't boil their bread or maybe they don't, you know, maybe they use, I don't know, pans to heat their water. But they don't even know what a kettle is in most cases. And for British people, kettle's so important, isn't it? I reckon every kitchen you go to in the UK has got a kettle in it. No doubt. Yeah.

Yeah, some sort of pencil. Whether it's like an electric one or a stove one. Yeah. I like the stove ones. I mean, that is America though, isn't it? Is it? America is just... Oh, weird, yeah. But it's just like, I like... Do you like tea? Yeah. I don't have it much, but I like it. How would you have your tea? Huh? How would you have your tea? What kind of tea are we talking? Just tea, like breakfast tea. I would just put a bit of milk in. Okay, that's fine. That's it. Yeah.

I do like when there's sugar in it as well, but I remember seeing a thing that was like, if you had two cups of tea a day with two sugars each, it's the same as having like six Cokes or something stupid. And that put me off. And I was like, you know what?

I have a very basic sense of taste, so I don't even need the sugar. I think, I mean, I say this as a guy who's very fat, but I think that drinks are where people struggle a lot. They forget how many calories. I was in an airport once, like last week, and it put the calories on everything, and it was like a little glass of orange juice, like you'd get at a hotel or an airport lounge thingy. It was like 134 calories.

That just seems like a waste to me. Right? It's been a waste. You have water for zero calories. Yeah. That's why, I mean, obviously, I'm sure Coke Zero and Black Coke. Coke Zero, yeah. I'm sure it's going to kill you one day. But like, it has got zero calories in it, so I'd always go for that one. I don't understand why people go for Coke. Taste. It's not that much different. Some people will fight you for that. Josh would fly by it. Yeah. Some people will fight you for that. Tali would fight you for that. Okay, I get it, but it's not worth the calories though. No. Maybe after a long day of... If they're getting rid of calories, there's probably something else.

That in 30 years time you're... True. They thought it was... Well, they say that aspartame, whatever it's called, is carcinogenic. But the butter thing doesn't confuse you either? No. Because it's the same thing as them putting, for example, them putting sugar in bread. It's just how they do it. No, but I never realised... Okay, I never realised that we did it... For me, it's like tying your shoe. It's just something that you do. I would never go without it. I guess it's because I don't do it really. Yeah, well, I'll just...

Because it also really pisses me off, right? It's like laziness. No, it's just my tasters. I do hate, by the way, I hate butter in it. I'm so bad at it. Yeah. You got a little one big blob in it. By the way, if you can butter bread, that's really like, I'd be really impressed. If I see someone go like, I'm like, wow. Why not use like, le pack? Same. Oh, I don't mind that. That's spreadable. Okay, yeah. I don't, okay, I'm not, I might get hate for this. I don't care which kind of butter it is. For me, it's like lube. Why not marge? I like marge as well. Margarine, right? Yeah. Isn't that,

- What is margarine? - I don't know, but that spreads. - But you know what I do like is- - Here we go. - I can't, Marbeleene. - Maybelline? - No, not Maybelline. - Marbeleene? - Margarine. Did you just say that? - Yes. - What's the orange stuff? - Marmalade.

Marmalade. I love Marmalade. Oh my God. Sorry, no, no. I had it in my head by the way. I just forgot it. Maybelline. Can you show me? Marmalade. Can you show me? You said Marmalade. It's like orange jam. That's what Paddington eats. Is it? Marmalade jam. Oh yeah. Marmalade is bad jam.

Let's just say kind of... Like jam is amazing. Bro, bro. Marmalade's alright. There's nothing better than going to like a seaside town like Devon or something or on holiday and going to like the local city or the local village and getting like some natural like curd. What? Like lemon curd. How is it different than jam? People also ask. Yeah, don't look. People ask that one. What's a marmalade jam? What's the type of jam? Jam is made from one type whereas marmalade must use a citrus fruit. Okay, so is that... Yeah, you know, jam's like...

Strawberry or raspberry, whereas marmalade is like citrus stuff. What? By the way, have you ever had pineapple so much that it just... It burns your mouth? Yeah, the acidity. Yeah, I never knew that was a thing. And then I was in the train station when I was like, back in this pineapple. I spent the next two hours just crying on the train. I wasn't actually crying, but I was like, I think I'm going to die. But yeah, it doesn't surprise me about the butter thing. The enzyme eats you. So when you... Okay, hold on.

Can you read that? This is because bromelain... I can read that part. Pineapple contains the enzyme bromelain. It breaks down proteins and is an excellent meat tenderizer. It's also what makes your mouth tingle, burn, and maybe even bleed. That was mouth bleeding. This is because bromelain is trying to break down the proteins in your mouth, so when you eat pineapple, it's pretty eating you back. Who wrote that? Not this news. So when you eat pineapple, it's pretty eating you back. It's probably eating you back. Crazy, if you think about that.

It has no brain, so it's just like... So I don't put it in sandwiches because I think it doesn't change my... Pineapple or butter? Taste, butter. Because I think my taste sense is... It sounds like you only have tomato. I have bread, tomato and bread. That is my sandwich. No, no, no. I'm saying you only... If you have a sandwich, you always have tomato. No. So the two sandwiches I'll make at home. Wait, hold on. You...

I bet you have a cheese sandwich on its own. I actually don't. No, I don't. You know what? It bangs, right? It actually does bang. A cheese sandwich does bang. Co-op cheese sandwich white bread with skips together. Bang. Oh, okay. It's so good, man. Put a skip on your mouth and eat the rest. I make three sandwiches. What, every day? No. The three sandwiches I would make at home. Yeah, okay. I would either have four sandwiches. Okay, it's going to be so bad, by the way. I don't make this one much, but cheese and cucumber. Just basic, but amazing. Tastes good. It tastes good, but it's better with red Leicester.

- Cheese. - Yeah. - Why would you have cheese and cucumber? - Goes well. - I like cucumber. - Compliments each other. It's like if you have a stick of celery and a block of cheddar, done. - Have you guys ever had a cheese and cucumber sandwich? - Just water in it. - Yeah, that's crap. - With a little taste. - Make a cheese sandwich and run it under the tap. - Okay, but that's the one I don't make. I haven't made that in like 10 years. Next one, I'd make cheese marmite. That one does need butter. - And it also needs Jesus. - I'm moving on to the next one. Cheese and pickle.

Banging sandwich. I never had that actually. Banging sandwich. But I can see why it would be nice. And then the last one is a cheese salad sandwich. It's all very cheesy. Yeah. Cheese is the best part of a sandwich. No it isn't. What about a bacon sandwich? I'd have a bacon sandwich but I don't really consider that a sandwich. BLT? I wouldn't make a BLT is my point.

- I said what I was making. I'll pick a BLT at a shop. - Okay, okay. - By the way- - The sandwich is my most made sandwich. - Yeah, I just don't, I don't know why. It's 'cause it's like, I know it's not like a BAP if it's in bread. I just, I don't consider it in the same league as those sandwiches. - My mum will make a- - It's in its own, it's like a different sport. - My mum will make the best bacon and egg sandwich. - Lies. - What do you mean? - You said this about your roasts. You know how that ends. - Yeah, but okay, fine. But based on your sandwiches there,

- I make this, it's not my mum. - Yeah, true. But you know when you get a bacon egg sandwich and a fried egg, by the way, and the egg just bursts and it's running, you dip it in and it has like a sour- - Your mum fell off. - No, no, she's back now. - I'm using your words. - No, no, no, since I made those words. - He said, "My mum's fallen off. "Her cooking's fallen off." - Since I made that comment, she's been banging. I'm cooking. - Oh, okay. - I called her the next, I had no food at home.

I called Laura was laughing at me because like I don't last week I was like are you alright she's like yeah I'm like what are you doing she's like oh just in the garden I was like I'm gonna go golf in a minute we're gonna have food in how would you feel like if I just came around for some food

- Right, so you're talking about me making these sandwiches going, "Oh, they're dead." You're going to your mum's house to nab food. - She makes it so well. And by the way, I was like, I literally wanted a bacon and egg sandwich, right? From her. I didn't ask that though. I was like, "Oh, what have you got in?" She's like, "Oh, we'll put you a pizza in." I was like, "No, no, no, I'm trying to be relatively healthy, you know? I don't want a pizza anymore." - So bacon. - No, no, but also it's like 11 o'clock. I don't want pizza at 11 o'clock. - Yeah, fair enough. - I was like, "Oh, what else you got?" She was like, "Oh, I can do this." I was like, "Nah, nah." And she was like, "Oh, I could do a bacon egg sandwich." I was like, "Yep, be around in five minutes."

To be fair, my mum used to make bacon and scrambled egg bagels. Yeah, of course. They banged. Not like a New York bagel. With a lid on it. That's the kind of meal that I would have two halves and put bacon on. What? You'd eat that like a... Yeah, you could have the two bagel slices there. Yeah, then I can put it on. No, but... Really? Put it on. Sandwich. No, but I... Because then the bread's better. No, but then you get... Okay, if it's in half, you get two.

- Yeah, but it's more toppings, but then you have to eat with knife and fork. Whereas I just want to go. - Yeah, I feel you. But scramble leg wouldn't have fall out. - No.

A cheese steak is nice as well. Like a Philly cheesesteak, like steak and cheese. Yeah, that's the best food I've ever had. Really? It was a Philly cheesesteak. Where did you get it from? Philadelphia. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. Where did you go? When did you go to Philadelphia? With Nick. My gap year. You went to a lot of American places in your gap year. Yeah, I did one trip there. What, you didn't ever stay? No. No, we did the East Coast. In Texas. You're in Texas, right? Started in Texas. Okay. And then flew up to...

Flew to Miami and did all of Florida as part of it. And then flew up to New York, did New York.

Philadelphia, Washington, that part. - Sounds really fun, man. - It was good. That's the one where I was gonna go. - Oh, so that's why you asking me how many states you've been to in America? 'Cause you like I've been to more. - Well, no, it's 'cause you were talking about, you were like, Texas actually is the best state. And I was like, how many states you been to? And you're like, two. - No, I said more than that. I said. - No, you answered me two and then you started figuring out you've been to more. But I was like, that's a wild claim to say this is the best state you've been to. - And I said, Canada.

Yeah, you were like, I've been to... I would count that. You said Toronto. Yeah. You were like, I've been to Toronto. And I'm like, that's not a state. No, it's not a state. That would count as being somewhere in North America. It is somewhere in North America, but no one ever mentioned. But the conversation wasn't about how many states you've been to. It was more like, how many places in North America... It was states. No, no, your question was... Okay, cool. You said Texas is the best state. Okay, but the states we usually go to as a group, they're always stinky. I think LA, we all know LA is fraud now. Stinky place now. It is, but yeah.

Vegas is just like it's still California in my opinion okay so you've been Texas Nevada California yeah New York okay Florida okay but I've also only been to Disney World in Florida doesn't really count but Texas is the best state out of this it's a cool state man the bad thing is like people do shoot each other there but it's pretty bad but they do that everywhere in America so it's fine

- Anyway. - Well, speaking of America. - Yeah. - Gideon or Gideon. - Yeah. - Caught someone trying to meet up with a minor. - EDP, the video's coming out soon, right? - You don't know EDP? - I don't know EDP. I recognize the name. He was caught before, right? - Yeah, he's been caught before. I think he turned up with like muffins the first time and it's part of Gideon's law to be on the sky. - Was it Gideon that caught him the first time?

- No. - Or someone else? - No, someone else caught him the first time. - Was it two white guys that caught him? - I think so, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think I've seen that. - Yes, yeah, yeah. But Gideon, yeah, he's been going hard on making fun of this guy for a long time and apparently this is the third time he's been caught. - So I don't get it. How is this the third time he's been caught?

- 'Cause surely like you get caught once. - I mean, you know, it could be like he got caught but then the actual authorities didn't do anything. 'Cause obviously all these like pedo catcher videos, it's always just like normal people's name, like Facebook groups. They go catch them and then they wait until the police arrive. I don't know why these videos are so funny, right? Obviously it's a very serious thing, but like, it's just- - That's what I'm really into.

Okay, it's probably not a topic we should bring up on a podcast, but it's like, oh, we've caught you. He's like, oh no. But then they show them like a portfolio of like the last two years of them pretending to be a kid. Yeah. That's also weird. It is. I know it's for a good reason. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. Because I'm always in two minds about these videos because one...

- He's taking the piss out of someone that is like a bad person. - Yeah. - Yeah.

but two, he's also making it into a joke. - Yeah, yeah. - So I'm always a bit like- - But you can't say anything 'cause they do deserve it. - That's what I'm saying. They deserve it, but is it making light of it? - Yeah. - So it's a really weird situation 'cause I watched- - Did you see the guy who trapped him in the game show? The guy who they turn up to meet the kid and he has a game show ready for them and he's got to answer questions and he'll call the police if he don't answer. He's got game show music edited to it and all kinds of shit. - Oh my God. - He's like, "Welcome, you've made it."

Well, I saw the one where he did the... Well, he fakes a faint. Is he that one? No. This guy pretends to faint and he just answers it. He falls over and pretends to be passed out. And then he's like... They ask him a question and he goes like, okay. He still responds. No, I saw the last Gideon video where he did it on... What was it? Synchro Demiurge?

Yes, yeah. That episode. And he keeps putting a sombrero on the guy. Yeah, he literally, the whole time the guy's like, no, I want to leave and then the other police are on their way. He just, every time he's talking, he just puts a sombrero on the guy's head. I'm like, this is hilarious. Yeah. Well, speaking of, I'm actually excited for the charity match because the...

There's going to be a lot of big names. We're going back to it. Segway back to a previous topic. No, she's going from Predator chat to the sharing match. Do you remember Gideon chat? Yeah. Gideon chat. Yeah, he's playing. Yeah, hopefully. Yeah. The last time he lost his passport. But yeah, he's playing. Kai's playing. It's going to be weird. Yeah. It is mad to have everyone like have such big people all in one place. Yeah, playing football. Yeah.

- Aboufallah's playing. - Yeah. - Who I met in Dubai. He's got like, he's on 40 mil subs, 43 mil subs. He's such a nice guy as well. - In the announcement, I was put next to fucking Carl Jacobs. - Yeah, Eric's playing. - And it's like- - Bro, they keep doing that. They keep like, sometimes they'll put like Mr. Beast next to Theo. No offense, Theo. - Put me and Theo next to each other. That makes sense, right? That makes really good sense. - 160 million subscribers combined on social media.

1 million subscribers wait was the was the actual with mr beast no i don't know who was mr beast i don't know i would hate to that person so i found out yeah where did we do it on i was with carl jacob it's like 32 mil and i'm like four i'm like 4.4 combined that's not bad i'm like it sounds bad though next to him 32 million like yeah but in reality in reality very good wait we're i don't know where we announced it

- It'll, I think it's Sidemen Instagram, all of it. - We haven't done everything on Sidemen Instagram, I don't think. - But also it doesn't show the thumbnail who it is. You gotta scroll and watch the video. You guys are opening packs. - No, no, no, I can see them. - All right. Damn, what are VHS's playing? Big fan of him.

- Yeah? - Yeah. - Okay, I'm excited to play it. No, I'm not. I'm nervous. You get nervous or you get excited? - I get very nervous. - Yeah. - I threw up before the first two. - Right now though, are you nervous or excited? - I'm nervous. - Are you more nervous? - I feel like I have...

Don't want to be big headed, right? Yeah. I feel like I have a lot of pressure. Yeah, because everyone's like, oh, Sam's going to score a hat trick again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you going to be as nervous this year than the years? Yeah. Every year it just multiplies. Oh, my dear. Because then I scored a hat trick last year and they're like, well, you did last year. Yeah. And everyone's kind of like, because everyone talks about it. Everyone's like, oh, it's going to be a close game until Sam scores a hat trick. It's like, if you don't, you're like. Literally, like, Theo is better than me.

No, but we always say, you always say this. I'm like, you're a smarter player though. Cause like last year you figured out that you could just shoot and it would go in. Yeah. I mean, I literally said it to Chris MD. I went, bro, just shoot. And he took a shot from a weird angle, went straight at Cal, scored. Yeah. I went over to him immediately after he scored and went,

- Bro, what did I say? - Just keep, yeah. - Just hit the target. - Whereas I feel like Theo and Chris, again, no offense, 'cause they're brilliant footballers, the type of guys to keep their head down, dribble past one player, two player, three player, four player, then finish. And you're like, well, I could just like, you know, this is not like the keepers that we've been playing against. - Oh, the keeper's not on his line. I'll just kick it. - A question I was gonna ask is, so I don't know if the teams were announced,

When we get announced, is it the teams? We're on the teams, okay? Most of them, yeah. So, I can't even speak. I'm glad you know what I'm talking about. Chris is on the U2 All-Stars team again. Yeah. What's this about? Basically, he betrayed us.

- He's a, no, it's just- - But he betrayed- - It was just to make the teams even. - Okay. - He didn't betray us. - So what was the reason? No, no, no, but then I was gonna say he betrayed them last year. - This was a Harry thing. This was a- - Last year Harry wanted him on our team. - No, no, no, 'cause they had Noah, Philly, like their midfield was Noah and Philly centre mids. - Okay, yeah, and then Harry Panera was on Real as well. - Yeah, so they had like, so we needed Chris. Like if you had Chris in there. - Yeah, yeah. - So this year,

They don't have Noah. They don't have HP. So Chris went back over. He's like the charity match whore. Wherever he needs to be, he'll do it. He'll do a job. Did he actually request that Noah doesn't play this year? Yeah, he said, I'm not coming if you don't. And then we said, Chris, we don't care. Ask Noah, he said no. So we said, Chris, all right, you can play. We didn't actually, we didn't ask. If Noah was playing, would you? We'd probably have Chris. Yeah, yeah.

- Or we take no. - Brutal, brutal. - Have you seen this video of- - Yeah, put it in the chat. - Yeah, I saw it on TikTok as well. - I already know what you're talking about. - The gender reveal. - Yeah, in the plane. - And yeah, this plane flies over, drops like pink dust or whatever it is. - Yeah, yeah. - And then crashes. - Yeah. - Well, do you not see why it crashes? - No. - Because he pulls up too fast. - The cannon shoots confetti up and takes out one of the wings.

- No, no, no, the plane shoots it down. - Yeah, like look, watch there's a cannon and then it shoots the way it hits the wing, ready? Bang, like. - No, I think he pulls up. I think he just pulls up too much. By the way, he died. - Yeah. - He actually died. - Oh. - What, you think the confetti cannon on the floor took out the wing? - I think something from the ground hit it. - But the crazy part is, 'cause everyone's like,

I think she's actually crying 'cause the plane crashed and she turned around. But then you also can't tell 'cause like, I think half people are screaming. Well, they're just hooking. They have no idea. - Yeah. - But everyone's like, "Whoo!" I'm like, "Bro, the plane just crashed." - I think excited screams could be mistaken for, you know, like-- - Well, no, half of it I think is like excitement and half of it is like, "Oh my God." - By the way, you have to name, to the people here, you have to name your child after the driver, the pilot. I think that's fair. - Yeah, but what if it's like a, wow, okay.

I don't know what gender the baby is or wants to be. - You can make like. - No, but I'm like, well, okay. - You're saying what if the pilot was a man? 'Cause they're having a girl. - No, but then obviously the girl might wanna be called a man's name. - No, but you can alter it, you know. - When you choose gender later on, you pick the name as well. - No, I'm saying like if you're Andrew, they could be Andrea. - Andrea, okay, yeah, yeah. You know, Andrew, type in Andrew in like Spanish. Andreas, that sounds so much cooler, isn't it? - Yeah, but Spanish.

What? Yeah, they are cooler than us. Tapping John in Spanish. Andres. Oh, Juan. By the way, I actually saw a TikTok of this guy. Apparently, everyone's name is John. I mean, mine's not. His isn't. Yours isn't. No, Jack is a form of John. Simon? Probably, yeah. Form of John. How?

- To tap in is John every name in? - It's a very biblical name. - Yeah, so like every country has its own. - The name Jack is a derivative of John. - Okay. - Boom. - That's not every name though. - Is Simon a derivative? - Is Simon a derivative of John? I think every name technically is 'cause John was the first one now. Adam and John. - Adam and John. - Even, sorry. - Adam, Eve and John. - Eve. - And even Adam. - Is that the one who got a tail? - That's the world's longest female mullet. - What is a female mullet? Isn't it just hair? - Danny Aaron's gonna have that soon. - Yeah.

Is Simon a derivative of John? Of course it's not! But it could be a derivative of, like, one of the derivatives of John. Because Johan is like John. You've chosen a name very similar to John. Simon is a given name. Type it. Sorry, I'm asking you to change it now.

A classical Greek name meaning flat-nosed. Yeah, makes sense. Type in every derivative of John name. It says it above. Yeah? Scroll up. There you go. Ivan, Jan, Janek, Gene, Johan, Juan, Gianni, Hans. There's a light always in the TV. Yeah, but like...

Most of them are very similar to John. Oh, and also Shane, right? Shane is also a derivative of John. So my name is Andrew John John. And Andrew is a derivative of John. So you're John John John. Yeah. Oh my God. Crazy. At this point, I think everything is. So there are three, we're all John and you're Simon. Yeah.

Get original. Get original. Do you think the name Olajide is a derivative of John? No. Well, Jide, yes. Oh. But Olaj just means son of, right? Yeah. Well, he always says no. Whenever I ask him, he's like, oh, it doesn't mean that. And then every time I Google it, it says it does. So I don't know who to believe anymore. Probably Google. True, true. Yeah, Google. Is Facts coming up soon? We'll talk about it later. Yeah. Oh, I just see today got announced that...

Dean the Great and Waleed are fighting the rematch on the Prime Court. On that card. Yeah. The cards are getting better and better. Obviously, Dylan's still going at it. That night is going to be mad. Yeah. Yeah. We're in a box for that. We're in a box. I actually don't mind it. I don't mind it. I'll say it. I wanted to sit ringside. I'll be honest. I mean, I like sitting ringside because it's cool. Yeah, but I feel like I'm also like, I'm able to

Even though he doesn't pay attention to us because he's in the zone. We make zero difference to him. No, I know, but I don't know. No, there's no way. When he walks into the ring, he does look at us.

It doesn't make a difference. It was shot in effect to be fair probably makes it worse like hit him Dodge him. It's like yeah, sure guys. I got my my trainers But I do hear the argument as well that like, you know, if we're not ringside might think people might think we're not supporting but it's not that Yeah, we couldn't even get to get yeah. Yeah, so but also objectively

I would rather watch the fight from a box with those that was bantering. Objectively, I'd rather watch it on a TV. Yes. I'd rather watch it at home on a cinema. But I want to be there though. I want to be with him. But because of the occasion, I want to be ringside. I get that as well. I get that as well. Also, if you guys see us at the fight and we're not in ringside, it's not because we don't want to be or we're not supporting him. We wanted to be. We would like to. Yeah. I mean, if it was available, I'd still go, yeah, I'd choose that.

But I will like watching it in the box. Me and him went to Austin. Well, now we played for a box as well. Yeah, we played for a box. We watched it in Austin from a box and then went down. And it was actually like, you get a sick angle. Some food, you know. The only thing that does annoy me when we're ringside is like,

30 people just walking around the inner rings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what the fuck? Well also every year we get standing in front of us here every year We get further and further back anyway, yeah, because the tickets are yet in a ring side, but now there's like an inner in a ring Yeah, well, I 18 rows back like hi, JJ. Good luck man from literally first fight. We got in the ring You did yeah, I was I was with some Joe Ella reporters Oh Reporters well, it was like it was all like it was like scuff. Oh

Oh, okay. And they were Joe and the fans. Okay. So I was just scuffing that. Yeah, first year we go in the ring. Second year we're first row. Next fight, a little bit further back. Couple rows back. Yeah, and then like... Now we're in a box. I know. And then somehow you're like eight rows back and then in the ring sign it's like... I'm not going to say someone's name but it's just like some random done. Yeah. Like, how's he done that? But also because we're not... Also, we're not very good enough though.

to what to get in the inner in ring people no because people when i say big it's not a bad thing but people are very like texting people oh can i get in can i get a ticket for this can i get a ticket for this we tried yeah not to get in it in emory no we tried to get yeah we tried to get tickets yeah yeah oh well yeah we'll still be there on the night just you won't see us we'll still be there yeah yeah be in a in a box yeah staring at it now you know i reckon something that far away

I don't know. I think it's connected because I think these boxes... Where is it? It's Manchester Arena. Yeah, so it's like watching a personal loan. There'll probably be a TV in the box, right? I'm not going to a box to watch a fight on TV. Also, the TVs are always like...

In the box as well. Yeah, you have to stand in the box. So you don't even like... There'll be a Jumbotron thingy. There'll be like a screen above the ring that you can watch. Yeah. I think the box will be a good view, maybe. We'll see. We'll get a box behind a curtain. Behind the walkout. Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys know that computers can't believe their eyes as Pony tries to... Computers love them. Oh, shit. They'll say commuters. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Live worm finding woman's brain. I saw this. What is this all about then? What? Oh, and a live worm. An English woman. Yeah, when I think about it, that's crazy. Yeah. That's mad. I don't know what else to say about it. It's just a sign of negative things to come because this is the first one they've found. Yeah. So this, you know, sets off a precedent that this could be a thing that continues to happen. Do we know how it happened though?

Question about bacteria. It was like the worm lives inside adders, like the snake. That's the one. And she used grass that the adders were living in to like, in her cooking. Yeah. And she ingested like adder feces or something. It's some kind of snake. Okay, okay. So if you didn't hear Jack there, like she deserved it. No, no, no, no, no, no. He said, okay, let me get this right. Here's a mic on. Oh, here's a mic. Yeah. Oh, I can see that. Yeah, sorry. He was about to repeat you.

Yeah, okay, you have one. It's really weird, but she deserved it then. So she was eating snake stuff. No. Typically, the parasitic worm lives in the digestive tracts of carpet pythons.

- Indigenous and Australian state of New South Wales. - Yeah, so there's edible grass. So she was using that in her cooking and in the grass was that. - But you don't need to eat grass. - Well, I don't think it's just, it's not like me going outside and just picking up five pieces of grass. - What is edible grass?

- I think it's almost like a herb. - But it's not. - Well, it might be. - What dish? - Did you say herb? - Yeah. Like a joke, it was a joke. - No, you say herb. - No, I don't. Herbs, American herbs and spices. But what kind of food? You're there like, "Oh, I'm cooking this lasagna. "I need some edible grass." Even actual edible grass. - Maybe it was oregano. - Oregano. - Huh? - You'd be an American. But yeah, you deserve that, man. Stop eating snakes. - Bro.

No, sorry, no one deserves a worm in their head. But parasites, do you live in... People have parasites. I've stopped closing my window at home because obviously where I live is like sticks, so like so many bugs and stuff. And I saw a spider and I was like, I don't need to go in my mouth. Cool. So I closed the window. We have so many spiders right now. I know you do. Keep seeing them. I know you do because I do. I set Mushu on them. Did he kill them? No, he kind of just like, he kind of just chases them and then... He gets close. Like puts them in his mouth and then will walk somewhere else and then kind of just put it out. That's not bad.

- Yeah, but then I've got like a slobbery spider. - Oh, I don't think even outside. - No. - Oh, okay. - As in he'll just walk towards us and then sometimes put it by our feet. - Oh, oh, let's do this one real quick. 30 things to do before you're 30. We'll do a few, we'll do a few. - Okay. - That sounds really cool. - For the reference, it's 'cause it's my birthday tomorrow. - Yeah, and he's like 34 or something. - 31. - Oh, wow. How was your 30th year? - It was good, you know? - Yeah? - Well, I got married. - Oh, yes, actually, yeah, true. - Moved into my house. - Imagine getting married when you're 30. Imagine moving into a house when you're 30.

I did both those things when I was in my 20s. I don't know if your house counts as an actual house.

- I'll go rich bitch. - I'm laughing because I was like, mine is also really nice. - I know, it's actually really nice. - This is the best one of these lists I could find by the way. - So also, don't know if I'll do anything for it, but it's annoying because it's two days before the charity match. So I kind of wanted to do something where everyone comes over, we could play golf, play football. - It has to be on a different day. - Yeah, I was like, if we play football and anyone gets at all injured, which Toby does every time.

then it's my fault yeah it's your fault so things to do before you're 30 okay well we'll see how many i've done and how many you have to do yeah can you drag this to the side a little bit just like just drag that like no no just drag the whole window to the right because the light is there you go okay so the first thing is travel solo i actually like traveling solo you know i hate it i also like sitting in restaurants solo cinema solo i hate it i've done it

Have you? Yeah. I went to Ghana for two and a half months. On your own? Yeah. On your actual own? Well, I met people. As in, I met people I've never met before there. Which counts. Why did you do that? I taught football. Hold on. Do you not know this? No, no. I knew you went to Ghana, but I always assumed it was like with Nick or like with like a mate. I went on my own and I met people there. Okay. But you go as part of an organized group. Yeah. Some sort of initiative. You didn't just turn up in Ghana. You turned up with people who are also part of the same thing.

- That doesn't count. Nah, he's gonna squirm out of it. I don't count. - What do you mean? - Good job doing that though. - Okay, so what have you done? - I have flown to America. - To meet people. - Yeah.

- Yeah, it doesn't count either. - How are you even considering this? You said this one, you went this one. All he did was take a flight on his own. I've done that 50 times. - Yeah, that doesn't count either. - No, in Ghana, so I took a flight on my own. That counts apparently, according to Randy. And then I go to a house that I've never met them.

stayed with Ghanaian people a fat like a man and woman and then in there was a guy from America who was living there and then like he left after a month I was there and a Danish guy was it like you know like football that borders kind of thing

Kind of, yeah. And then on the weekends, we went all around Ghana, like, randomly. Key word there, we. Yeah, you need to go somewhere. I haven't done it. I'll do it this year then, before I get 30. No, you won't. I will. You'll go somewhere, meet someone, and go, I travel there on my own. Yeah, like, you just need to go somewhere uncoordinated by someone else under your own steam, basically. That's the idea. When did you do that? My 21st birthday, I went to Paris on my own, and just went around Paris on my own.

- Okay, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do Paris. - That sounds like the saddest thing I've ever heard. - That's nice. - I had a great time. - For his 21st birthday, he celebrated on his own. - On your birthday? - Oh, I didn't. - Or like for your birthday. - Was it on my birthday? It might've been like on that week, but yeah, I just got a skateboard and I went over on the Eurostar and just went around. - That's really sad. - It was great. I had a great time. - Why did you not say, why did you not go with a friend? - I went and saw, I saw the Louvre, I saw the Eiffel Tower and I just went around and saw shit. - The Louvre. - The Louvre. - Okay, I'll travel.

- You won't, you won't. 100% you won't. - What did you not like about traveling solo? - I just find it boring. - Hold on, so what, teaching Ghanaians to play football is boring, is it? - Apparently it wasn't on my own. But I literally, I'm coaching on my own. - No, the idea is that you're just, you turn up somewhere and you're like, "I can go in any direction here. I can do what I want." - I could. - Yeah, but you were on train, you were on like,

a roughly guided thing. - Well, they were like three days a week you coach football. - You didn't turn up in Ghana and go knock on a random door and go, yo, can I stay? I'm gonna teach kids football.

I did. No, I did. We did one time, but there was me and one other guy who I met like a week before. We went out to the north of Ghana. You were friends at that point. And the hotel was all fully booked. So then we went around and knocked on places. And then the guy who was at the desk of the hotel was like, I have a room. It's not much, but you can stay there. And the room was literally about the size of this. Did you give birth to Jesus? No.

What a weird question. - No, because they were knocking around looking for someone to stay, right? - But he was so nice. Bro, he literally let two random men stay in his room and then he stayed with his mate. - Sounds a bit sus to me. I should just skip that part. Get straight into the action. - Look, you ain't traveling solo. I reckon you- - Okay, I will do it. - I reckon you never travel solo in your life. - Okay, I will travel solo before I'm 30. - You won't. - I've got a year left. - Where are you gonna go? - I'll go to Paris. Can I go to Paris?

- I'll go to Belgium now. I'll take Eurostar, Belgium. - On your own? - Yeah, I'll do it this week. - You can't go for like an hour? - On Thursday. - You can't go for like a night? That doesn't count apparently. - Oh, so how long does it have to be? Two days? - You have to find yourself. So it has to be at least three days. - You don't have to find yourself. - How long did you go to Paris for? - Like not that long. - You didn't even stay the night, did you? - No. - That doesn't count! That's like me going to the cinema on my own! - No, no you can't!

- That doesn't count. - It totally counts. - No, no, no, it does not. - I will argue, I do feel like, did you get the Eurostar? - I got the Eurostar. - I feel like it doesn't count. - That doesn't count. - It's like going to Newcastle for the day. - It is. Newcastle's father. - It's actually longer. - Newcastle's father than that. - It takes longer to get to Newcastle. - I feel like it's 'cause I left the country, but I'll take it, I'll take the hits. Look, none of us have then. - Okay, give me a place to go. I have to take a plane. - No, you ain't doing it. - I will do it. - You're not doing it. - You won't. - You won't. - Okay, I'm gonna schedule it in to like-- - Have you ever done it? - The schedule's already fucked.

- Laura, we're so pissed off if you go on your own. - Yeah, well, okay, take a class to learn a new skill. - Your whole point is like travel solo. If you were going traveling on your own, right? I think traveling solo means you have to be there for long enough that you'll probably make friends there. - Oh, well, I'd have to make a friend. - But then as soon as you make a friend there, it's not traveling solo. - No, no, okay, I'll go three nights to somewhere like Prague.

- On your own? - Yeah. - And you're not allowed to make a friend? - Yep. Just go to restaurants and just like look around town, take some photos. - I'm starting to think that Simon has the best case for traveling on his own, to be honest. - You went for a fucking dinner down the road. You took a flight on your own. - Yeah, listen. Okay, take a class to learn a new skill. That's a bit, I've done that before.

Yeah, I know it might not count because it's Sidemen videos, but we've literally done like 500. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True, true. Okay, master cooking at least three dishes. I've not done that. I can make a mean sandwich. I can make a mean cheese and cucumber sandwich. Yeah, you can. Run half a marathon. I do want to do that at some point though.

Go skinny dipping. I'd like to do that. I've done that. It says they do this often, by the way. Yeah. I actually think, I saw a TikTok where someone jumped into some water and ended up with like a brain. Two people, right? Brain. Brain eating amina. Amina. Amoebo. Isn't that what you, isn't that what you scan into wee? It's what is it?

amoeba yeah amoeba amoeba amoeba amoeba um learn to speak another language ah it says or at least master the basics oh okay i think we did that in school yeah like yeah hello okay learn how to read a wine list i hate this list i don't like wines i don't care throw yourself a birthday party that's kind of sad

John did it when he went to Paris. - No, I've thrown myself loads of balls. - Wait, hold on, hold on. - I had a 17th, no 18th and 19th. - Is Josh doing that push-up thing and throwing himself a birthday, is right? - Yeah. - Okay. - It does sound, yeah. Throw yourself one. - But that was fine though. - No, it's great. - You get what you want. - It was, no, it was a really good night.

But it's also like, yeah, it would have... I don't think about it as being sad. No, but it would have seemed nicer from someone. Yeah. Because then he spent the whole time organising it and doing all this. Yeah. Realistically, on your birthday, you want to not have to do stuff. This next one here, get private health insurance. Done. Sick man. It's just a bit weird. It's a weird thing to do. Because if you don't have costable cover by 31, you'll pay a loading fee. I guess it's because that's when you start getting healthy insurance. Oh, wait. No, it means...

Okay, I think it's an adult thing to do. Can you read the next one get yourself super? This is an Australian website Can you ever in a new tab and say meaning get your super And the private health insurance one it means that after your third look you need your hospital by your 31 cuz like You don't get it when you're 30 or something. I I have a pension. So I say I I

You need to set one up before you throw it. Yeah, I don't have one, by the way. That's really bad. Actually, by the way, I think I'll be broke by like 40. Yeah? Yeah. You'd last that long? Yeah. I know, I know. How can you lose all your money when you go travelling on your own? If I just fall out of my bank account. No, you just... Oh, you mean you spend it all? Yeah. I didn't even lose it. I meant more get robbed. How do you get robbed? Okay, yeah, that's cool. Invest in a good quality bag. By the way, JJ gave me his suitcase a long time ago and I've actually realised it's the best suitcase ever. What type? Is it a Romo? No. To me? No.

Okay. But I've started taking two suitcases when I go places. One's crap, one's really good, that one. The difference in pushing is crazy. That means, that's saying like a backpack because it's saying you carry it every day. I think it means handbag because this is... I assume so. Probably. You're reading the worst list for us ever. Mate, all the lists 30 under 30 were cringe. This was just the best. There's also an Instagram post of...

five women just sat on atv what's that one say what's the take a grown-up weekend away with friends we've done that we've done that yeah well i'm sure it's grown up but we take go camping learn about politics no you just skip to yeah they're all getting crap go camping learn to meditate we did that one yeah yeah camping no i skipped something saying take a road trip meditate credit card well oh my god treat yourself to a fancy dining experience okay what's

Oh, you did that? Yeah. Good job, man. When I went with my friends. Live abroad? Live abroad. I reckon we'll all live abroad by the time we're... I won't. You reckon never? How long do you consider living abroad? Six months? Yeah, I don't think I will. I think by the time you are in your 55s upwards. I just think kids and dogs. That'll stop me. Okay. If you have a kid now, so just say you would. You're not... If you're now, how old are you? I'd be 48 when they're 18.

yeah so yeah so 50 all right yeah 55 you'll be abroad no sure for sure man i reckon you're because then i also have i want to have a dog you can have a dog abroad it's long state no because where would i move the only place i think i'd move tali might want to move to like italy no yeah portugal italy spain canada that's the only place i'd move you take a dog to canada it's very long how is it you got yeah i've got a lot of money it's literally a long flight

Yeah, right? So it's pretty long. So just put it in the cage and then when you arrive they'll be like, how's your dog? Or just get a private jet the other way there. Cross off some of the classics. That means read... Oh, no. Add Charlotte and Emily...

- What? - So it's read some classic books. - Take control of your sexual health, which means finding the right birth control for you. I'm making that as John. What the fuck is this? - I'm not gonna lie, I probably read 18 and I thought these were all right. And then I didn't realize it was the target of women, but it's interesting to get their perspective. - You went on Air War Australia. - How did you even get there? No, you're not. Okay, I reckon you should AI this shit, man.

We've only got a few left. Okay, sure. Do something that scares you. Yeah. Ask for a pay rise. You're trying to get a pay rise after this list. Have savings. Have savings. Find a mentor. Start and finish an educational course. Find your thing and exercise and do it regularly. Be able to ask for what you want in bed. Yes, even that. What's that? What do you reckon that is? Start taking your health seriously. 75 hard, you're doing that. Yeah. All right.

I would love to know how much money this article made this company. Why? Because AI could do that better probably. Well, yeah, but they might have used it. I mean, sorry. Obviously, it's probably not dog water for someone who's a woman in Australia. Probably actually really good for an Australian woman. But, you know, we aren't either of those. Anyway, guys, thanks for watching. So what we learned today is none of us have traveled on our own. I might do coke for the next podcast. We may have a guest. I won't then.

They might like it. Unless it's Chip. It might be Chip. It could be Chip. No, he doesn't do any of that stuff though either. Well, I actually don't, by the way. He does. Thanks for watching. Bye. Bye.