"She Don't Need No Grandma," Daddy Issues, and Sibling Estrangement
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All right. Welcome to Unlocked. I am excited to be here. Are you so excited? I am. I'm so excited. So I've already filmed my first episode and this all kind of worked out perfectly because my first episode is going to air and then this one will air right after. And for those who don't know, you know, I have a lot of first time podcast listeners who are

Just coming here to get to know me and may not have seen the show. And so I'm Savannah and this is my sister, Lindsay, and I'm so excited to have her on. We're kind of in the midst of a little Chrisley crossover right now. And we did episode one on coffee combos, episode two, Chrisley confessions. Then we had a fun little game on the Southern tea, which would help me. And now unlocked.

I am so excited to be here to do this. I know that this might not be as fun of an episode, but it will be much needed. 100%. I think when I tried to come up with a name for my podcast, I kind of spoke about this in my first episode was I went through a phase of so much bitterness and anger. And I was like, it's going to be my time to out everyone. It's going to

that's where I was at. And then after sitting on it for a little while, I feel like God really spoke to me on what my podcast needed to be about. And for some reason, the name Unlocked came to me and I was like, this is a place I want people to come and show up, be 110% vulnerable, unlocked, be open to hearing different opinions and beliefs, some that may not align with yours, but try to understand where other people are coming from.

I think that's such a great place and why podcasts are so successful because people can go and see a really raw and unfiltered version of you coming from reality TV. It's a very different view. For sure. And so I'm trying to figure out where to even begin. So in the first few episodes that we've already done, we kind of spoke about how we got to where we're at and how...

Our relationship, there is a big, I mean, what's our age gap? How old are you again? Eight years, I think. Eight. How old are you? 33. 33? Have you ever learned to not ask a woman her age? Okay, whatever. Yeah, so there's an eight-year age difference. And it really wasn't, I feel like when I got old enough, like you moved out, if that makes sense.

And then when you moved out, you kind of had a life of your own. We were still at home. We didn't really have, we were like closer the younger I was. Well, I think because I was still growing up and then, you know, eight years during that time when we were all growing up together, didn't seem as big of a gap. And then whenever I left and went off on my own, went to college, um,

then got married and had my life. And then the show started before you finished high school. I think that there was a lot of disconnect there because I wasn't really involved with you guys after what middle school? Yeah, it was really after middle school. And I think, you know, to clarify, Lindsay and I

there has been this estrangement with our families, siblings, even you and dad have been speaking, which we speak, but it's not of anything of significance. Like it's about dumb stuff, you know, or we'll laugh about something, but we haven't really had like a heart to heart conversation, I would say. And how I put it on one of the other podcasts was that

We know each other, but we don't truly know each other as adults, I feel like. Agreed. I think that we're so different at this phase of our life than we were when we were growing up. And you've always kind of had a voice. And then I grew into mine over time. And I feel like some of that has caused some rift too, because I always was kind of like a wallflower growing up and just kind of did whatever went with the flow. And

you were loud and as people that watch Chrisley Knows Best know that, you know, you have a big personality and you're loud and that's who you kind of always been. And then I realized

found my voice through struggles that I've gone through. And so have I used my voice in the right way at all times? Absolutely not. But I do think that we're in a better place to be able to have this conversation to where we both can receive it. Well, 100% because even though, I mean, we went years without speaking and

And even though we are so different, there are certain ways that we still are pretty similar. We both have a mouth on us. We both can fly off the handle and say things in the moment that we don't necessarily mean and that we get that from Todd Chrisley himself. So that's where we are very similar.

But it's also too, like growing up, I feel like, I mean, you know what our life was, all of Kyle's issues with addiction and all that growing up. In a certain way, for me, I knew that I had to, I always felt I had to be the loudest one in the room to be heard. So I wanted to perform to get the attention. And I think part of that is coming from a big family. You have to

Whoever performs is going to, whoever's the loudest is going to be heard. And I do think that, you know, one shift that happened that I feel was big for me was when I came back home to film the pilot for Chrisley Knows Best. And I don't know if you remember this, but

Savannah felt the need to take up every closet on one floor of the house, which included my closet of my bedroom that I grew up in. And we got into this argument. Did some of it ever play on Savannah?

It may have. We got into this argument. But of course it wouldn't have gone into the depth that it needed to. It probably would have been a joke filmed at that time. Yeah. But I think that there really was like underlying stuff there from that. And I felt like my place had kind of been taken. Like I moved out and I still wanted ownership.

over that room and my space, even though I wasn't living there and all of your stuff was there. And I do feel like, um, up until the time that I moved out to go to college, truly, I did feel like I was the favorite child. Well, you were. And then a shift change. Even when you went to college, like you still were. Like look at the place you lived in. Look at the cars you had. Yeah.

A shift changed. And then, you know, I guess because I just did things, I guess, the way that I wanted to be doing them that was not approved, then Savannah got her time to shine and has been holding the trophy of favorite ever since. That's not true. I think that, you know, that was a big transition for me too because I always was like numero uno. Okay.

So, but also it's, we've said it's different phases of life, how people show up. So you think when you moved out or, and when you were in college, you were, let's just say 20 years old, you know, I also was going through my own fair share of stuff. So mom and dad maybe had to show up for me a little bit more than they had to show up for other people. And the same for other kids in the family, you know? So in a way,

I know what you're saying because there was a point in time to where Daddy and Chase were getting a little too close, you know, and I needed, I was like, hey, no, that was my spot. But I can also say that that came from insecurity. That came from my insecurity of feeling like I needed to be the center of attention and I needed to be the focus when reality, that was my own issue I had to work through. Yeah.

I can say, and it's probably the first time I've ever really talked about some of this stuff on here, that none of that matters to me anymore at 33 because I know who I am and I know what I bring to the table. And so it doesn't matter if he's...

And when I say he, Todd Chrisley, is fiddle-farting around with you at the Mexican restaurant on a Tuesday, like I'm still going to get the call probably on the way home or on the way there. So I'm glad that you got to have lunch with him. Yeah, exactly. No, 100%. And that's – but I also think that comes with growth. For sure. Like we've said, we've all –

dug really deep into therapy the past few years. And if it wasn't for therapy, I don't know where I'd be today. Like I've gone to some intensive programs. I have taken time to myself with no phone, no nothing. And if it wasn't for that, I mean, I'm grateful for the growth and I'm grateful to be able to sit and look at myself and say, well, I really screwed up there for sure. Or, you know, I could have shown up better or, um,

And that's where we kind of talked too about on, I think it was Coffee Convos, about you not feeling worthy of forgiveness or forgiving yourself. And that's something that I worked through in my therapy too. And it's so hard whenever you live life a certain way. And I know because I deal with it, I always want to do things the right way. And when I don't, there's so much guilt there.

That, oh God, I screwed up. So then I just keep trying to patch over it without even dealing with it. And then there we are. Yes. And that is maybe a hereditary trait because I am also like that. And it's, I used to think it was a society pressure, but I realized it was actually pressure that I was putting on myself that

um, to be the best, do the best. And I mean, I'm not going to say that I'm still not like that. I want to be the best. I want to do the best. I look at numbers. I, you know, analyze everything. It's like our parents will tell you that I have come up with every possible outcome and then also figured out the probability of which one was likely going to happen first. Yeah. And that's just my personality. Yeah. Um,

And, you know, I think that it's so important for people to understand that just because we have a following or because we've been on reality TV, y'all are still currently doing reality TV. That's not a part of my life anymore. That, you know, family stuff does happen. And just like there was estrangement from my parents, there was estrangement from siblings as well. And

I think being vulnerable and honest about how we felt during that estrangement is very important because other people deal with this in real life scenarios. Yeah. And what would you say was the toughest thing for you during that time? The toughest thing was knowing that time was passing by. And even though y'all were pretty much grown whenever this happened,

I still look at you and Chase as little kids. And I knew that you guys were doing big things and everything that you were doing was so great. And I, I saw about it. I heard about it. And I wasn't a part of that. Um, knowing that that time wasn't going to be able to be gotten back or I wasn't going to be ever be able to be a part of that because that time passed. Yeah.

Yeah. And I will say, which it's not really even until now that I think about it is when, you know, a big thing that happened for me was when I got engaged and you start to think of a wedding and planning a wedding and you're like, my sister should be a part of this. And if that would have happened, I mean, my wedding was going to be May 9th of 2020. I'll never forget. Papa's birthday. I'll never forget someone saying,

And I mean, this is just real, like finding out big life things over social media. Like I can tell you when my attorney emailed me to ask me if I would like to make my parents aware of my divorce filing prior to her filing it.

And my statement to her was, no, I feel that would be inappropriate and inappropriate timing because I haven't informed them of anything else up until this point. So they'll see it when everybody else does. And I felt kind of that same way with your engagement of looking on the outside as if I was just a viewer like everybody else. And that sucks. Yeah.

That really, it really does suck. And I think that every single person can say they had their hand in some part of the estrangement. Yeah. Some more than others. I was definitely a key player. Always a competition. And I will say I definitely was a key player in that situation. But to see, you know, you having a picnic with...

bridesmaids or you know whatever like that did suck because I heard about it on Instagram it was sent to my DMs and that's the part that's so hard is knowing that you miss out on such like real life experiences with people and that no arguments ever worth losing a day over

And I think that's now as you live and learn, I'm blessed that it happened when it did because in the grand scheme of life, we're still young. So there's still so much more to happen. And there's still so much to, for us to learn from each other. I feel like, because even you going through your divorce, like when I called things off with Nick, I didn't want

You know, imagine, you know how it is going through a divorce with a kid. If I would have had a child and then, you know, like in a way it saved me and caused me to take a second and say, hey, is this really what I want? Is like, are we doing the right thing? And I think that as siblings, you know,

Growing up we were always subjected to each other's bullshit. Like if somebody was in trouble we all knew about it and I think as you become adults

That a family is supposed to go through things together and be able to be open and honest and know that, you know, there's a level of trust there and that someone's going through something and you're taking a part of what that person's gone through and hoping that you don't have to go through that. Yeah. And experiencing those things together, not having to sit from the sidelines. Yeah.

watching everything unfold. 100%. And I think too, something that you touched on of stuff being a competition, it happens more times than not. I feel like, especially too with sisters and with, it's not, and it's not even that we, I can speak for myself that I want anything to ever be a competition. Now,

At one point, yes, 100%. It was who can do better. Like, and that's just, but I also think that's just part of who we are as people is to perform at the highest, at our highest ability and to like be the best at whatever we do. And so, but there was a part that was, you know, when I, there was a point in time that

I remember seeing people were tagging me in comments, whatever. I'd released all my Sassy by Savannah stuff. And then you had done like a lip collaboration with another company. And at that point, you know, like it was hurtful because I felt like it was just kind of a jab of like, well, we can't be happy for each other. And this is just another thing that was just silently, you know, and we both got a lot of shit for that at that point in time.

I think that when you become confident and secure in yourself, you realize that your best competition is yourself and you should perform to your best ability. And the wants and desires that I have for my life

look very differently than the ones that you want and have for your life. Some the same, some different, but also you're in a completely different life phase than I am. I'm 33 years old. I have a child. I've been divorced. There's also some similarities of the emotional aspect of it. You know, like there are things, and just because people are in different phases of their life doesn't mean that you can't connect or you can't find something to learn from someone else. And I think

You know, in Coffee Combos, when you said just feeling worthy of forgiveness, that's something that everyone struggles with. You know, there are things I've done wrong in my life that I did not feel worthy of forgiveness, of forgiving myself, and I'm the hardest person on myself. And when I went to Onsite for my therapy, I was like,

I, which I truly do believe it's a God thing that this happened. So they had us write a letter to ourself. And I truly do feel that like, this is God saying, share this because I got it in the mail literally three days ago. They said, write a letter to yourself. We're going to keep it and you'll get it in your mailbox. And I wrote to myself,

Dear little sassy, you no longer have to play a part. You have the right to fall apart and not keep it together for your parents, siblings, significant other, or the world. You are not that little girl that had to silently drown alone. The adult version of you wants you to grant yourself forgiveness.

You can live without all of your traumas. You do not have to perform to gain the love of others. Let others love you and not who you think they want to love. Practice patience, love, grace, and know that you no longer have to be codependent. Make yourself happy. I love you and I forgive you. Wow. And that was the letter that I wrote to myself that I got in the mail three days ago.

I often have conversations with dad. It regularly comes up about, you know, I think that I've been forgiven from other people for things that have transpired, whether that be in my marriage or parents, siblings. But forgiveness to yourself is so important because if you can't forgive yourself, you can't live whole. You can't show up how you're supposed to show up. And I think that...

the idea of being a perfect person. And we grew up that way, you know, strive to be perfect. And as much as I think that we should strive to be our best, and I think that that message is spot on. And I would say that to my son, I wouldn't say let's strive to be perfect. I think the message is show up your best you every day, the best you that you can be every day.

Yeah. And that's, I think that's something that I've learned is to not put so much pressure. That's the crazy part is we talk about like how we grew up and we're

I mean, we grew up great. Like we never had to wonder where mom and dad were, if one was coming home at night, if one wasn't like, if we were going to have food, if we were going to have clean drawers, like if we were, no, and they were at every single thing. So we didn't have to worry about that, but also that was, and too, it was a different time, how dad grew up.

emotions weren't important. You know, it was, it was just very dismissed and things had to be perfect and things. And now what I'm so grateful for is how different he is with Chloe and Grayson, you know, and the man that we get to experience and have for the past few years and the growth that he's done on himself and the work that, um,

It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to mess up. It's okay to make mistakes. I think one of the biggest things from our raising is that it was always preached to us growing up. You guys are all you have. You have each other and you should always stick together. And we always did things as a family. We didn't really do things with friends that much, you know, like

That was kind of like you got built-in friends at home. Don't ask. No. And a lot of that, I think...

Um, maybe stunted us being able to be individuals and finding ourselves that our identities oftentimes were trapped within each other and who we were. We were the Chrisleys. Yeah. Well, I went through a phase of that when people would be like, oh, you're Todd Chrisley's daughter. And I'd be like, no, I'm Savannah. Nice to meet you. Because I feel like I had to.

pave my own way. And there's nothing wrong with being his daughter. I love being his daughter, but you also want to be known for who you are and what you bring to the table. And you said something too earlier in one of the other podcasts about your marriage and looking for what dad gave in that person. And literally, yeah,

Dad and I just had that conversation maybe two weeks ago about me because he has shown up in every way you could ask somebody to show up in our life. And I've always held that person to it, like someone I've dated to a standard of, well, if you can't provide and do for me like my dad has, then...

You need to move on. I oftentimes say that. And I said that in my marriage so often. You know, you don't do this. You don't do that. I mean, there was a lot of things that Will did that dad wouldn't have done, like go to the grocery store and stuff like that. But different things, like emotional things, showing up emotionally. And knowing that, I never felt a day in my life growing up that...

I didn't have security. I knew that I was safe. You knew that you could get pissed off at each other. You knew that you could not speak, but you also knew that if you were in a time of not speaking, you were still okay. Like that person was still going to show up if you needed them to show up. Even in the six months dad and I didn't talk, I knew that if I called him, like he would be there. He would show up. Pissed off there. Yeah, he'd be pissed off, but he'd show up. And that's why it's like even...

you know, called off my engagement, doing the whole dating thing. People I've started dating, you know, they are older. And dad and I had that discussion. He and I kind of got into it because we had some words about it and he couldn't quite understand why, you know, can you not find someone in your own generation or age or whatever it was and

And then he took a day or two to speak on it. And he was like, you know what? Your mom and I talked about it and you're searching for everything. Like he was like, with how I was with you, that's what you're searching for. And you're not going to find that in someone your age. You know, he was like, you're wanting someone to show up for you emotionally. You're wanting someone to make you feel safe and secure. And chances are someone your age isn't going to do that.

I think, too, what's interesting about the family dynamic is a lot of times you see siblings banning together against their parents. Yeah. And in our situation, I feel like when one of us goes through something, it's like the kids rally around the parents. It's just very different. I've never seen something like that. Like if I piss someone off, everybody's mad at me.

And it's like, I didn't do anything to piss you off. So like, why are you involved? Because we have had that dynamic and a sense of closeness to our parents. They were not our friends ever. No. They were the enemy. They were the enemy. Yeah. But now it's very different. And I think that when you are working together in the capacity that you work with dad, you

And you have been able to have him there pretty much every waking day. And he's been very much a part of your entire dating life. Oh, yeah. Sometimes too much. That, you know, you're bouncing ideas off of him. Yeah. And he's hearing all the things and he's giving you all this, you know, old person wisdom. And you are then internalizing all of that and seeking...

what he's giving you in a partner. What's crazy, because people always think of, and when I say this term, you're going to know what I mean, but

I kind of spoke to it, like I spoke about it with my therapist of daddy issues. Yeah. People automatically assume that's a bad thing, you know, because it was a father wasn't present or he wasn't, you know, he was out of the picture. But in reality, it can be total opposite. Because he was so present and he was there and he invested in

It's like, I see him as the Holy grail, like the it of all it's. And that's the type of person I want to end up with. And that's, so it's, he showed up so much, but then it's also unfair for me to expect that of someone when they haven't lived what he's lived or they haven't, you know, especially at my age. I know for me personally, there is a little bit of,

The anxiety of, you know, when you're around someone every day, you know, like before I speak to mom and dad, I don't think, oh God, if I say this, how are they going to react? You know, because I don't ever, I don't worry about how they're going to react because they're not going to walk away from me.

And I feel like with you and I, now it's the beginning of a rebuilding of, I want you to know that anything I ever say is not with ill intention and to cause hurt because I've been hurt by people's words and that's not who I am. But I want us to be able to say how we feel and not have that fear of this person walking away from me. I agree. I think that a lot of

anything that's in the way of us moving forward in the healing process and getting to where we need to be. Because I do think that healing is taking place probably more slowly on our front than it has with dad because I talk to him every single day. Um, and you know, I think both of us are very, very diligent about that. Um,

I think there is some fear there of, okay, well, if I spend the time and put the investment into this and at the end of it, is it going to change anything or could it be worse? I think that there's a fear there of that. But I think, too, with that is a level of vulnerability, right?

We're both the same way in that aspect of like, I'd rather deal with what I know than what I don't know. So I'm comfortable on where I'm at and it is what it is. It's going to take a person to put the foot forward and to say, hey, this is what I'm willing to do. These are my boundaries. Know that I come in peace. I have good intentions. Yeah.

let's rebuild, let's do this and involve each other in each other's lives. Because I do think that there is a barrier that has been set up to not involve each other. No, it's just kind of, I'm going to let you get so close and then we're going to do our own thing.

And that's the hard part is I feel it's, I hate using the word pride because I really don't even know if that's what it is. I think it's just being so comfortable and the discomfort that it's like, all right, this is how it's going to be. I don't want to get let down. I don't want to be upset or disappointed. And I'm willing to put myself out there and say, like, start over.

Because you as my older sister, I love you. I know I've said shit about you. I know it's gone both ways, but also too, that's what sisters do. Ours have just been publicized for the entire world to see. Publicized by other people, by ourselves. Exactly. So I'm just in a place to where life is short and I'm

I love you. You're my sister. I want to be a part of those big life moments. I want to see you happy and truly fulfilled and to feel worthy of all the good things coming your way and be part of your forgiveness of yourself and see Jackson and all of his milestones. And because that's what life is about. Life's not all about how much money we make or don't make.

If we're number one on charts on the podcast, which is nice if it happens, but if it doesn't, you know, that's okay. It's not make or break it. It's really the people that you have around you, your relationship with God. And that's really it. Amen. Well, I love you too. I love you.

Now let's get mom and dad on because they've been listening. They've been absorbing. And now we can kind of see what their viewpoint is.

Welcome, Mom and Dad. It's good to have you on. We did a little reset, and now you're here. Thank you. Thank you. And we're here now. Unlocked. Yes. Unlocked with Savannah. And y'all were kind of sitting over to the side. You heard our conversation. And now we wanted to kind of get a parent's perspective of where we're at, how you guys feel about it, and how...

to kind of navigate your children moving through a season of life like this? - Well, for me, it made me feel good to see you two have an open and honest conversation. It made me feel good to see you both give, because I know you both very well, and I saw you both give on certain things and bend a little bit, which is important.

And I think for people just listening to this podcast, everyone goes through seasons of life and goes through these seasons of life. If you have a sibling, if you're blessed enough to have a sibling and are still have your sibling with you, that is a blessing. And we all have gone through those seasons and to know that it takes time. You guys said it, you know, this is just the beginning for us.

And good Lord willing, you're going to have days and months and years to strengthen that relationship and to be there, just like you said, for those milestone moments with Jackson, with Lindsay, and her with you. And I never had a sister. I always wanted a sister. I always wanted to be a sister.

I always wanted a sister. That's another conversation. And so it is such a blessing that I'm glad that you're seeing that no more time is passing by without you guys recognizing how important it is to have each other. Because at the end of the day, your dad and I are not going to always be here. And when we're gone...

We want you guys to have that bond, to have those times when you can cling to each other and it not just be your own family that you've created, but our whole family. I think for me, I like to see, you know, that I want my kids getting along.

I know. And I think every parent, if you're normal, wants their children to get along. And I raised all of you the same way, that you literally have the greatest gift that we can ever give y'all is each other. That no one in this world is ever going to be as loyal or fight as hard for you as y'all are supposed to be to each other.

And ego, pride, jealousy, envy, all of those things are things that God speaks against in the Bible. We shouldn't possess those in our heart and especially towards our own blood. And I love that. I think that both of you are in a place right now, you know, as I've talked about on Coffee Convos and on Chrisley Confessions and

I think that you, Lindsay, are in a place today to where you're not as vulnerable as you used to be. You know, you're not as, or I shouldn't say vulnerable, maybe fragile. You're not as fragile as you used to be. And I think that that comes from self-awareness. I think that comes from self-confidence. And it comes from life. Because life will slap you down. Trust me, I know.

And you do too, sister. I do. But I think- I agree with that. I do think that it has a lot to do with all that and accepting the fact that even though you adopted me, I'm still not a product of- Of the two of us. The two of you. And I think that there's been a lot of that that I've dealt with over the past five years on my own. But I am-

what God wanted me to be. A hundred percent. Amen. Amen. And for that, I have to accept that. And that's okay. And I think I grew up always feeling like close because we grew up together and that's all we knew. You know, I mean, it was never...

It was never even, I mean, we never talked about like step-sibling or half-sibling or anything like that. That was never something that we spoke about. I remember that was always so confusing to me. I was just like my brothers and sisters. Yeah, you know, that's just how we were raised. But I think that I started feeling like an outsider or a step-sibling when the show came more so.

Because there was such a disconnect in other areas that you guys all were a collective unit. And I was just sitting...

on the outside. So I do think that that did breed some jealousy and resentment. And no matter what I do, I can't go back and remake who I am or what I came from. But you just said it when you started this, you said, I'm exactly the way God made me. I am who I'm supposed to be. But I had to accept that for myself. Because when you say, you know, when the show started that, you know, you felt like it was all of us together and you were kind of sitting on the sidelines.

None of us ever felt that. But I think it is perspective from everybody's point of view. So from my point of view, there are certain things that... And I do think that this has caused some strife in the relationship with Savannah that...

She could never understand certain things in the way that I feel because she's always had her two parents in the same house. And even though I didn't miss anything by not having my two parents in the same house, it's just not a nuclear family. That's not how God intended for it to be. And so because you didn't experience that,

or feel that way because it wasn't for you to experience. Right. Because that wasn't God's plan. And that's not your story. Right. And you and I have talked, Lindsay, that since you've gone through your divorce and that you understand different things that happen between us or perspective or the way that I handled things or the way that you perceived, I felt that now you're

That you're in a position where there's kids and you've got kids and maybe your person you're seeing has children and there's all these different dynamics. It's so much more. You can understand it because you're going through it. And if you don't go through it, it's like the old saying, if you don't walk in my shoes, you don't know how I feel. And I had to accept that it wasn't for me to understand that.

as a child, what you guys were individually going through as parents. I needed to understand myself and what I was going through as a child. And you have said yourself that you never knew I was going through anything because I handled it so well and I masked everything so well that I was like a silent sufferer. That's right. You know, that right there, I just learned about that about three or four months ago. And again, I know one of those God winks.

We are silent sufferers. I think that in all aspects of life, everyone is silent suffering about something. Yeah. Well, we, and we have said it on Crystal Confessions many times.

Everyone has a hard. Everyone has that hard thing that they've either gone through in their life or that they're currently experiencing. And to them, it is the hardest thing that's ever happened. Because it's their biggest hard. That's right. Yeah, because it's their hard. And until you have your hard, no one can connect to your hard like you connect to it. And I think that, you know,

Nothing makes me happier than for my girls, you know, my boys, all of you together, to know that it's all for one and one for all.

That if one person steps out of line and steps towards one of us, the rest need to step up. And there should never be a time that anyone in this family feels alone or feels like they've been abandoned. Or isolated. Or isolated. Because at the end of the day, as a mom, and you know yourself, I have been a mom to five children for almost 28 years. Six. And now I'm a mom to six children. Mm-hmm.

You are only as happy as your saddest child. Well, I think you had said, you know, when you and I've had many conversations regarding Lindsay and she would literally she would literally cry and say, you don't understand how bad she's hurting. There's only one reason for her to behave this way. And that's out of pain.

And I said, I don't want to hear that. She grew up exactly the same way the rest of them did. I said, she was given more than the rest of them was. She was given a brand new $800,000 condo when she graduated high school. She left with a $200,000 car. You know, she had this and she had, and you remember what you said? You said none of that matters if she is not a happy child. And this, her lashing out right now,

That's out of hurt. That's coming from a place of hurt. So rather than you're not going to be able, Todd, to take the same approach with her that you have the other ones. You're not going to be able to lash back at her. Or even the same approach that you've taken with her earlier in life when she was a child. I can tell you right now that I feel like, and this is the honest to God's truth, I feel like that I have, I feel like in all honesty that I enjoy my relationship with you more now.

As weird as that's going to sound, because we've laid in bed, we've talked about it, I've said, you know, I said, I actually enjoy having a conversation with her. When she's like this, when she's got her head right, when she's talking, you know, when she's rationalizing these things, I said her therapy has been life-changing for her. But you have to understand, when you say that to me, I don't take offense to that because I know that there are positive things that have happened.

that bring you to be able to have that perspective because you no longer feel dependent on me because there was estrangement. I don't know that I'll go that far because I think that I do have a, I still do have a codependency on my children. It's not as bad as it used to be. But like when you're going to McDonald's at 11 o'clock at night to get a tea, what do I do? Yeah.

I'm like, why would she do this? And why would she even bother to tell me about it? And, you know... I could not tell you about it and sneak like her. Well, I mean, y'all are used to that. Well...

You're the one who just sat and told that you didn't go to tutoring after you made everybody else. And you should whip her ass over that. Because y'all had to get up earlier. Y'all had to get up 30 minutes earlier to go to school so she could go in and take tutoring. But she wasn't. She was going to the gym. I was at the gym. Yeah, but you know what? I also did some sketchy shit too. So... Y'all say it with pride. Well, at this point...

There was one time, and I still don't know how I... She's bragging about lying. No, I don't know how I did not get caught. I said that I was going to stay at my friend Maddie's house, when in reality, we went to South Georgia. We drove to South Georgia. See, the guy I was dating at the time... Oh, my God. Shut up. Yeah, like, we were... I mean...

And who does that? Some broke ass teenager. Yeah. I don't know how I did not get caught. Let me help you with something. Cause this is all shits and giggles until you have one that does it to you. Just remember what you put out in the universe will come back to you. And karma that heifer comes knocking frequently.

And she don't miss. And she don't miss. So don't ring my phone at 3 o'clock when everybody needs to know it's going to be Savannah's daughter. You cannot put my names out there. When your daughter is not home at 2 o'clock in the morning or. We're bleeping out the names. Like nobody else has it. Well, actually one of Savannah's. Yeah. See, I mean, I can't end up with two daughters named.

The youngest. Y'all are sick. Y'all are sick people. Get to the point because I'm sick of this stuff. The point of it is, is that you sit here proud that you got away with that. But that moment, remember this, that moment is going to come home to roost.

And when it does, it normally is followed by heartache and tears. Okay, well, don't wish that upon me. Oh, I don't. You did it. You did it when you snatched out with Maddie into a Holiday Inn Express. Okay, well, what did you do? And look what's happened. Why did I do what I did? Because you clearly didn't say anything. No, that was your mama. Your mama brought all that home. Oh, okay. If there's anything bad that y'all have done, it comes from your mama's side. Yeah, that's it. Okay, so obviously...

I am the golden child, so. Yeah. I didn't come to find out you was a liar, too. You was hanging out in the gym, made everybody get up an hour, 30 minutes to an hour early. I was hanging out at the gym, not at the Holiday Inn. So in my book, that's better. But don't you remember how she would complain and she'd say, no, she would take them to breakfast when I went to tutor it.

I didn't get to go to the bagel shop. Well, no, because you'd have had to have told on yourself that you wasn't going to tutoring. You was camping out in a gym. But then, you see how manipulative she was? She told you, no, you took them to a bagel shop when I had to go to tutoring. Oh, my God. I was going to fail anyway, so my whole point was like, what's the point? Okay, but let's redeem ourselves. You went to college. And had a 4.0. And had a 4.0.

Scholarship the whole time. See, you could have been doing that the whole time in high school and I wouldn't have had to have bitched. Is this what we're going to do? We're just going to like... Fight with each other? Fight, bicker back and forth? Y'all quit telling me the lies you told. Okay, well, I'm sorry. It just happened. Don't let this be a confessional with me. Just let me go on with my life and believe you. I love a good confessional. I will get us back on track because evidently you two cannot compartmentalizers. I will say that...

As far as y'all as parents are concerned, I feel like dad typically takes Savannah's side on things because they mostly relate to each other the best than me. And I have the most like logical thought process. To you. To me. Like to me. I think everything that I do is logical. Even though I know in my soul that I am...

Like a one percenter. In a lot of good ways, but in a lot of bad ways. She don't need no grandma. The next name of the podcast that Lindsay's going to do is Fulfilled.

But I do think that I have a more outlandish, in y'all's opinion, thought process on things when we get into disagreements. So you're more likely to side with Savannah. And then I just get pissed off because I'm like, obviously, I'm a logical person and everything that I'm thinking is right at this moment. So why don't you see my side? But maybe it's not.

The way that I am and the way that I respond to things, y'all think a lot more alike and are aligned on those things because it's like this compartmentalizing whatever is going on. And I'm not putting things in boxes. I am looking at the big picture and I'm like, okay, well, this could go three ways.

And the most likely way of this is probably A, but if B happens, then this is going to be the outcome. And if C happens, then that's going to be the outcome. And I am royally fucked.

You know, me and Savannah, we look at it and say, there's one way of this going. No. And it's going in our direction. But they're both trauma responses. But I think my way of thinking comes from possible abandonment issues and not knowing what the outcome. From your biological mother. Not knowing what the outcome's going to be. So I. Well, I think also the constant letdown.

Yeah. If I have all these different options, then I'm not going to be as likely to be let down because I can choose option B if option A didn't work. I can choose option C. And I know what the outcome is. I know. But what I want you guys, as your mom, to not live in the what ifs. Because God is not what ifs. Do not live in the what ifs. There was a study done.

And over the study, 91% of what ifs never happened. 91%. But there's another 9% that did. See, and that's a trauma response. It is. But you cannot live in the what ifs. God is not in the what ifs. He said, I am. I am that I am. I am the word. I was the word. I will be the word. I

I don't live in the what ifs. I live in the what ifs. That's like saying, what if daddy woke up tomorrow and he was unattractive? That absolutely confirms- That's a possibility. That is not a possibility. That could happen. Yeah, no.

But I think that's where I feel like that is where some of the disconnect is, where we have found it in working situations. We found it in personal relationships. Well, yeah, because you've got a gazillion and one different way is that something can be done. And I'm just like, no, there's one way that's going to be the quickest and fastest.

But you know what I think the most important thing that has come from today is that we've been able to sit down. Yeah. We've been able to voice our opinions, whether they be the same or be different. And we've been able to get up from this seat and

and walk off this camera, walk off from this microphone, hug each other and say, I love you. I think that is what is wrong in this world today is that we can't sit down and have a conversation where we see things completely different, have different views, different beliefs, different whatever, but walk off and say, you know what? I listened and I heard you. I truly heard you. I may not agree with it, but I respect your opinion.

I think if we could all get to that place, our world would not be this absolute disaster that it's turning into right now. And you know, that's why I started Unlocked was because I felt like when you show up unlocked to a circumstance, situation, conversation,

And you allow yourself to truly hear someone. And to be vulnerable yourself. And to be vulnerable yourself, then you can be more open-minded. And you have the most growth and the most uncomfortable of situations. That's right. So if you have an uncomfortable conversation, I would rather a five-minute uncomfortable conversation to have a lifetime of growth and happiness than...

to have a lifetime of just being completely locked and not having the growth. Well, don't you think that the beautiful part about life is being in relationships to where you don't ever have to be locked? 100%. And I think that's where I'm at right now in my personal life is wanting to be in a relationship that I can be 110% myself and I don't have to

act a certain way to make you feel better about yourself or, you know, I don't have to dim my light. I can be quirky. I can say dumb stuff. I can be, I can be confident in my successes and my businesses and just be 110% me, the good, the bad, whatever, because I have changed who I am based off of the people that I'm around just to be accepted.

And I'm not doing that anymore. Well, and here's the thing. Be careful who you're trying to be accepted by. And at the end of the day, any person that you invite to your table, they're paying for the meal. I can tell you that. I was going to say something profound and just say that differences should be celebrated. And I think that I've struggled with that a lot in my life that I,

I have felt different, not just biologically different, but just felt different. I mean, you have said yourself that all of your kids have different things about them. And I don't want to say that like I'm just intellectually... Oh, dear Lord. You know what? Between you talking about how smart you are, her talking about how beautiful she is, it leaves very little room for me. Yeah. Intellectually...

Sometimes do you ever, this is, I'm being serious when I say this. Sometimes I feel like that I'm surrounded by stupidity every time I sit down with my family at a table. I think that you do some, I think that, no, I think that I want you, if I have to put together a team, you would be the head of my team when it came to detail. Savannah would be the head of my team when it came to getting it done, implementing it and getting it done fast.

And then I'm screwed. I don't really have anywhere else to go. I mean, you know. What about me? No, honey. I'm talking about my kids. I would kind of be like the bad bitch in charge, you know? No, she thinks she is. Yeah, I'm going to get the job done. Yes. Like, if my friends need me to go up to one of their boyfriends, I got you. Yeah, but you understand that if you're the one saying that you're loyal and no one else is, that's a problem. Well, it's fine because I'm out. No, everyone else needs to know that you're loyal. Yeah. Okay. And...

I just feel like that I've always felt like that my girls were my most aggressive, put together, could get it done. And I've always said that I've believed that my girls, my son's got my girls' hearts and my girls got my boys' hearts. But I literally talked about that too in my first episode of how much I love

Because y'all, mom was very much like back in the day, wife of like clean, take care of kids. Suburbia. Like she was suburban wife. Clean. Like a woman had her role. A man had his to provide, to take care of kids, to cook, to clean. That was kind of how y'all operated. Your mother ran a very successful real estate company. No, I know that. I know that.

But that wasn't until later, later on. After she, after she got her children to a place. Cause that was her number one problem. Yes. But also too, your mindset has changed because you used to say, this is what a man is to do. And this is what a woman is to do. But with how you have raised us and I'll, I'll speak for myself, me, you've told me you can do anything that the boys can do. Your sister has told that too. I want you to,

I want you to walk into a room full of men and be able to take over the room. Anything. If you're going to walk into a room. Beth, don't know, bitch. If you're going to walk into a room full of men, you walk into that room, take their breath away first. And then when they're gasping for air, get them to sign the deal. Exactly. Exactly. So it's just very different. Always wear heels.

Do I ever not? No, yeah. You should never go through life without putting a heel on because you just feel more empowered. You do. And the first time you meet somebody could be the last. So I want to go out in style. Wonder who taught you that. I would love to ask y'all a question, even though this is not my podcast. Ask us a question. As parents...

What would be your advice to other parents and people who are listening to this that are dealing with children who go through what I guess we would call sibling rivalries, sibling estrangement, competition? What would be your biggest advice? I can say from my perspective that it's the worst feeling in the world as a parent to see your children competing against each other. Yeah.

That is not a compliment to me as a parent. I would say that when you recognize that, that as a parent, it becomes our responsibility then to step in and say, hey, why are you competing with your sister? That's not your lane. We're going to celebrate exactly who you are. We're going to celebrate you and all the things that you do. And we're going to celebrate her and all the things that she does. But you're not going to compete with your sister.

And I think that that becomes a parent's job. Yeah, I think it's to help you find your passion, to help you find what really makes you tick. Because what makes you tick is not going to be what makes her tick. And I think it's, again, what you said, celebrating your strengths and playing into that. Even though it may not be what we think is your passion, it's not our passion, right?

It's not what we want you to be. It's not what we want you to love or who we want you to love. It's who you love and what you love. Well, I mean, I'd still like to have an opinion on who they love. Well, that opinion, you know, we've got some words about it.

We've had plenty and you're still single because you didn't listen to me. You know what? I marched to my own beat. By yourself. No, that's not true. You don't know everything. Remember at Lindsay's and the Southern Tea, I ate a jelly bean in order to not tell the truth. You know what? Let me let you in on a secret.

Nor do I want to. Y'all are the shadiest people that I have ever sat in a room with. I don't tell any of your business to Savannah. None of Savannah's to you. None of y'all's to Chase's. None of Chase's to y'all. Well, you know what? It's fine because I'm at a point to where now I've got my podcast. So I'm just going to tell it all so that...

Nobody else can tell on you. So nobody else can tell on me. Well, you understand that don't make what you're doing right. Well, no, I'm not saying it makes it right, but I'm also going through a phase in my life of trying to figure out what's right for me, what's not right for me. Well, speaking of that, because, I mean, it came to my knowledge, you know, you were on the highway the other day. Yes. With Stormy Warren. Yes, I was. And, you know, I brokered the deal for her to do the video for Matt Stale for Pray For You. Yeah. So Matt, you know, Matt Stale's people reached out to me, Ash, wanted Savannah to be in the video. Yeah.

unbeknownst to me at the time that he had a thing for Savannah. But at any rate, I mean, I'm just finding this out. You're finding it at the same time. So she goes on Stormy Warren's show, who Stormy threw a little shade at me worrying about my ankle monitor, wondering if it was bedazzled. He did. But when I run into him in West Haven, I'm a headbutt him. But, if it's during the time that I can. But,

You went on a date with Matt Stale because I wasn't aware of this. Oh, yeah, we did. Once Nick and I... Wait, when? When I caught off the engagement. Well, at first, Matt... It was my understanding that...

I'm going to tell the story and then we're going to wrap it up. You are the shadiest person. I'm going to tell the story and then we're going to wrap it up. And also, where did you go? Where did you go after? Well, we went to the tavern is where we went. Like, we met up on our date. Did he pick you up or did y'all just meet up? No, I met up because, yeah, because I didn't want... Because she's got a control issue and she's not going to have someone controlling when she can leave. Fear of commitment, yeah. And I wanted to be able to dip if things went south.

So we ended up, Nick and I caught up in engagement. Who goes to dinner with somebody and says, oh, I signed up for this, but in case this situation goes south, at a dinner. Your sister. At a dinner. Your sister. I'm going to leave the tavern. Now, we're not going to finish this podcast on this note. I dipped on somebody 30 months in.

I was getting ready to get to it. I said I had to bring my roommate. Just wait. Nope. First of all, that's called speed dating that nobody else signed up for that she involved him in. So let's finish the Matt style. So yes, after Nick and I, we called off our engagement. We were not together. Once Nick and I broke up, Matt and I went out to dinner because-

Matt, I was wanting me to do the video with him, but I said no. If I was going to do it, it was going to be with Nick and whatever. Because Matt was trying to get that kiss insane. Okay, well, looking back, I should have done it. Savannah. But it would have saved me a few months of my life. But anyways, Matt and I, we went to the tavern. We had a great time. I mean, he's a great guy.

but he's just not, you know, we're good as friends. Well, I want to, cause that's what you had said on the stormy one. So I want you on unlocked. Cause you know, you did say you named this show unlocked cause you're going to be unlocked. I'd like for you to tell us and share. It's just us sitting here. No one else. Why don't you just tell us why y'all are better off as friends?

We just don't have the same viewpoints on certain things. But yet you love his mother. I love his mama. Oh, my gosh. I love her. She is the sweetest woman ever. Honestly, if you can love the mama, that's high up there. You hated your ex-mama. I didn't say I was being unlocked. That was high up on the list for me. Once I divorced, I was like, okay, nice eyes, nice.

Does his mama act crazy? And if that box is checked that she acts crazy, he's out. Like, I don't care how good. No, I'm telling you, he's a great guy. It just wasn't for me. And then after that... Are we sure he's not for you? Oh, I don't know. We maybe could. Never count the dog out of the fight, whatever the saying is. She can't even get the quote right. But then...

thing. So I got on this dating app, right? And it's like a real exclusive. Yes. It's very exclusive. It's a more exclusive one. So I get on it and I don't know how this guy was on it because he was not exclusive. He should not have been on this app. So I get on it and you know, it was restaurant owner and I was like, Oh God. She got got. She got got. Restaurant owner and

I had been sick. I wasn't feeling good. He was like, well, you don't need to stay in the house on a Friday. Like, let's meet for dinner. And I was like, all right. I was like, well, let's just meet at the corner pub. So, cause she's a real classy chick. That's my safe space. So,

I needed to make sure this wasn't like Jeffrey Dahmer. The corner pubs don't get tired of seeing her with every man. Speed date? Speed date, yes. And it was a speed date. It was. So first off, when we got there, he did not look like he looked in his photos. And then second...

Keep in mind, he said restaurant owner, so that's what I was working with. And we're sitting there, and he sets his keys down on the table. Now, y'all, I ain't bashing on nobody. I'm just saying, I'm just warning you how you can get got. So he had told me. You got gotten a Kia. Yeah. Oh, and it wasn't push to start. I already know what she was about to say. It wasn't push to start. It didn't even have a button to unlock the car. He put his key in the car door. We're modest. I like that.

We sit down and he's just like barely talking. So of course I'm talking. And then he asked me about my relationship, calling off my engagement. I told him and he goes, good thing is I'd never be engaged to you. I was like,

Okay. Well, that's good to know. Literally, you let somebody that didn't have push to start with it. Wait, it gets better. And then he starts talking about his job and he was like, yeah, I'm real excited to be assistant manager at such and such restaurant so I don't have to work as hard. And I was like,

Assistant manager? You said restaurant owner. She said, I have to get food from my roommate. Yeah, I did. I was like, you know, I'm so sorry to rush this, but I have- Chad wasn't even living with you at the time, probably. I was like, I got to get food home to my roommate. She's just really not feeling well. And I went ahead and gave the waitress my card. I was like, okay.

Get me the hell out of here. First of all, you got got. I got got. No, but what was even funnier. What was even funnier is we had a business meeting. We had a business meeting we had to go to. We go to this restaurant. A whole different restaurant. A whole different restaurant. He's the hostess. He's the hostess. And you went on a date with him. For three minutes. It was literally 30 minutes. I looked at...

me the next day. That's called walk-by dating. Walk-by, yeah. Then he had the nerve to message me. She walked by. Exactly. He had the nerve to message me the next day. And I was like, no response. You never, listen, when I tell you her dating game is literally like a bag of Skittles. Like it's truly tragic. You never know what you're going to get because she goes from billionaire row to

To Skid Row. You never know. They may have two kids. They may, you know. See, I have a very narrow. Oh, I don't.

I do not. I have a very narrow pool. Well, you know what? I don't. But that's a different, that's a topic for a different. Keep that locked. Exactly. Well, we may keep that locked for a little while. But until next time, y'all, thank you for coming on. Thank you, Lindsay. I love you. Mom and dad, y'all are going to have your own individual episodes coming up. So I'm super excited for that. But I love you.

I love you more. And I love both of you. And I'm proud that you're both where you are today. So until next time, stay unlocked and keep some of the craziness locked, please. Keep mine locked. All right.