Why Nice Guys Finish Last
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You know what? Whatever. I don't fucking care. He said, do you want to go to a movie on Sunday? And I said, I said, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be great. Um, points for points for a specific date and day knowing. Um, yeah. Well, guess what? Oh my God. What blew me off? Oh yeah. Did you see that one coming? Did you? He blew you off last night? Yeah. He didn't text you? Well, okay. So this is what happened. So, oh,

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I'm Jordan. I'm Alex. And today we have a very exciting episode per usual and this is what we're going to talk about. So first we're going to dive into plastic surgery. Then we're going to... Plastic surgery? Yes, it's...

Is it technically considered? No. You know what? Botox, plastic surgery. We're going to talk about why there is a difference, Alex. Okay? Because a lot of men think that plastic surgery is Botox. They think, okay. Okay. We're going to talk about why we struggle being alone.

Advice to successfully date my date. And then we have some mean boy questions for our new segment, which is called Mondays are for Mean Boys. Yes. But first, A.B., hit us with the current event. It's not really current, but it's on Yahoo News today. And I've never thought about it, but have you ever thought about how astronauts go to the bathroom? Mm-mm. You have? Yeah. Like, okay, so do you know how they do? No.

Do they go in their suit? No, they used to go in their suit, but it was like it would leave them with like wet, like it would stay wet. It's like really bad for you. Or like float up. Yeah. And so they started doing, I didn't finish the article before this, but apparently to poop, they like strap them down on their legs and there's like a vacuum thing. I just think it's more exciting to think about and maybe not know the answer. Okay. That's your thought for the day. Thank you. I love that. No problem. Great way to start a Monday. Just an uplifting little thought of, you know, how do astronauts pee and poop? Yes. Yes.

Alex, how was your weekend? My weekend was great. Graham was at a bachelor party, so I was alone all weekend, and it was really nice. But you hung out with your mom. I did. Yeah, I hung out with my mom. But I mean, like, by... Sorry, when I say alone, I mean, like, I would go home...

And I would just like shut off my phone. And like, I watched a lot of movies, but I did go to Greenwich, Connecticut by train, which was nice. Yeah. I met a cute boy to set you up with. But you didn't follow through with it. No, but I did find him on Instagram last night. So that's good. So I'm excited about that. I'm always scouting. Okay. So yesterday I saw Alex and she was telling me about this guy and she was giving me details of every question she asked him. And I was like, Alex is,

It wouldn't be a normal conversation if you didn't ask the guy 20 million questions. Like, he even was like, wow, you're really asking me a lot, aren't you? I think at one point I had to tell him, like I had to disarm him. I was like, let me tell you where I'm coming from. I'm not trying to be a drill sergeant here. I'm just trying to vet you for a friend.

Well, it's funny because like, I mean, I know how you talk and sometimes it doesn't come off as interrogation, but you like to ask a lot of questions about people. And sometimes people are just taken back because they're not used to people actually wanting to get to know them. So I can just picture what this guy was like, why is this random girl asking me so many questions that I just met?

I do like a mental map in my head. I'm like, here's all the four things I need to know about you. And the quickest way for me to find them out is just ask you. I love that. I'm like, where do you live? And he's like, uh. I love that. Also, something to quick clarify. So you posted on MeGoPod Instagram story. I feel like Jordan kissed a boy this weekend. Yes. Did not kiss a boy this weekend. Really? Yeah. I woke up. So you went out Friday night. Yeah.

Did you post a photo and delete it on your Instagram? I did because I do that a lot. Do you have like a very significant crop top on? I'm sitting in bed Friday night and I'm like, oh, that is a sassy shirt. I mean, it's like basically a bra, but a t-shirt. I loved it. You looked hot. Amazon. Actually, my friend's shirt I borrowed. The next morning, I'm like, I was going to post it on the Mean Girl Insta story and say, did J-Dub kiss a boy last night in this outfit? And just the strangest thing happened. It was gone.

That's because I knew you were going to do something with it. I delete before Alex can screenshot things. I'm going to screenshot your stories from now on. That was such a hot photo. You looked great. Thank you. What'd you do? So I met up with a few of my friends, and one of my friends' friends was having a birthday party where they rented out a bar. So we went to that bar, and it was fun. I just didn't meet any guys that...

And I wanted to kiss. Actually, a lot of the guys there were paired up with girls. It was very much like a friend group. All these people have known each other for a long time. They've been in relationships. So it wasn't like we're out at the bar and there's a bunch of random guys. You know what I mean? Was that a good – were you wearing the sassy crop top shirt at this moment? I was. Okay. Man, what a shame. You have to re-wear it.

I will. Well, so I re I bought that outfit from it's from Amazon. If you guys saw the picture, I re bought it. So I'll have it for myself. Cause that's my friends. Yeah. Good. You need to have it to wear it out on a non coupled up birthday party. Wait, what's your birthday party energy? Like, cause your birthday's in June. Yeah. So what's that looking like? Are you the kind that's like renting out a bar or are you the kind of like, yo, if you want to maybe get dinner, we could.

I'm the kind that pretends my birthday never happened. And I literally float through life not telling anybody because I'm I'm actually very introverted. People don't believe that. But I can't handle a day. I know I sound like I can't handle a day all about me, but I literally can't like it causes me a lot of stress. Like when I get married, I'm not having a wedding like it. I get crippled at crippling anxiety when I think about it. So, yeah, I won't celebrate.

Okay, I like that. Or if we have a conjoined birthday, I would then be okay with it because it would be you and I. Right, you wouldn't want it to just be you. Yeah. Okay. What are you?

Um, yeah, I'm more of like, I share my birthday with my dad. So I've always shared it with somebody. And so I just like make it his day. That's smart. Yeah. It was fun though. When I turned 21, he turned 50. So we went to Vegas. Wait, that's actually so cool. Yeah, it was fun. I love that. Um, so continue with our weekend. Alex and I saw each other on Sunday. We did a little sober activity, which included getting Botox. It's funny because it's like,

That's our, I just thought about this. Like, that's what we chose for our sober activity. Also, you know, it's funny. A lot of people are choosing not to drink to save money. Do you want to know something? Sober activities tend to be more expensive than drinking. Well, okay. But here's the thing. What I was just about to say is like sober activity. People are probably like, did they go to Central Park and walk around? And we're like, we got Botox. Yeah.

We got Botox and spent a couple hundred dollars. And it was 60 degrees yesterday, so we could have gone to the park. Here we are inside getting needles in our forehead. Botox hurts. Which I did not know. I've gotten Botox a few times, but it didn't hurt the first two times. And you saw me in so much pain yesterday. You said it was more painful than your tattoo.

Oh, my God, yeah. I got three tattoos in a row when we were... The other sober activity was getting tattoos, another very expensive activity. We got to rethink our activities. It was a self-improvement week. Yes, yes. But, yeah, this hurt more than any of my tattoos. Yeah. It was like someone was stabbing me in the forehead. They are. We put on the Insta story, we were like, do you care if your girl gets Botox? And everybody was putting these thoughts in.

But I think the most important thing to cover right out of the gates, which I think will solve a lot of the problems, is there's a very big difference between Botox and filler. 100%. A lot of people see some of the stars, like my husband Graham was like, well, I mean, I get why people would be apprehensive to Botox when you look at like, I don't want it, like Courtney Cox, for example. That's filler. That's injecting something into your face that puffs it up. Botox is the one where if you have wrinkles on your forehead, you just like...

smooth out those wrinkles. Yeah. I mean, this isn't like a one-on-one session on Botox, but Botox is preventative. It's to prevent more wrinkles from coming. It's not going to fill in the lines to make the wrinkles go away. That is filler. And people do get that all over the face. But if you want to get filler, that's fine too. Like, why does it matter? I don't get why people care. I don't get why guys care. One of the guys was like, girls care too. Yeah. But, but this was like a question for the guys. And so one guy, some guys, there was two guys that

that were like, if the women feel better, go for it. Thank you. Okay, fair. Thank you. One guy, though, was like, as long as it's not coming out of my bank account, I don't care. And to that guy, I want to say, I bet you buy your wife a nice diamond ring when you ask her to marry you. Yeah. I bet you bought her a nice purse. And there's those guys that are kind of egotistical and they're like, I want to get my wife nice things to show her that I can. But by God, when it comes to you getting Botox and feeling good about yourself –

But can you take that out of your account? Yeah. What? Also to all the judgmental people out there, all those Instagram models and famous people that you obsess over or wish were your girlfriends or wish you looked like, they probably get work done too, okay? Nobody is born looking fantastic. I mean, there are some people, but most people don't.

And it's just I don't know I feel like Botox is such a negative Connotation around it Like if you get Botox You look fake Or you're not real Or you're I don't know All this crap And I'm like Why do you care Yeah I don't think They get which one The Botox is But even if it's filler Why do you care Yeah I mean I see I just don't think Botox like changes The look of your face Like some of the guys Like they look fake And it's like No no no You're just confused On what it means Someone was like I've been getting Botox for five years And my husband Has not once said anything And I was like

Amen. Yeah, he doesn't notice. Like, you notice when you turn your camera facing you, sometimes I'll be like, oh gosh, like I look, I don't look old, but my wrinkles are more pronounced. Botox, like, lightens those. Yeah. I've been in relationships in the past, so where I've

So I started getting Botox when I was 25, but when I was below 25, I just thought about it and brought it up in conversation. And my exes have been like, you better not get work done. You better not get Botox, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, why do you care? Does Graham care? No. When I first got it, I was like, I'm going to get Botox. And he was like, Oh,

No, like, oh, like, I think he thought I was going to come back looking completely different. Like I had a nose job and put filler in my cheek. And then I went and got it. And then I didn't say anything. And then I put a side by side photo. And I was like, here's me before. Here's me two weeks after. And he was like, said all the right things. He's like, you looked beautiful before. But like, do you feel better now? And I was like, yes, like, I feel like I look younger and just like my skin looks better. And like, I feel better. And he's like, OK.

But it took me educating him on what it actually looked like for him to be like, oh, cool. Yeah. But he admitted last night, he was like, I was shocked you guys put that on the Insta story. And I was like, why? And he's like, I think I just go back to that whole, a lot of like people that are older women are like, I don't tell anybody I get the Botox. But our generation is like, yeah, I got Botox. It's like, cool. It's like, yeah, I got Botox. Like,

Now I'm just part of the girl club that gets it. Like all my friends get it. I don't know. A lot of my friends, the only people I know who don't have it are my friends who are much younger than me. But all my friends my age have it.

don't think all of mine do actually I think it's cool that I don't know I can't tell yeah no idea if they have it or not like people that get lip filler I'm always like god you look good oh trust me I've been tempted tempted to get lip filler I went to the face gym where they massage your face and they give you a face workout I went on Friday with my mom face looks incredible by the way thank you and I put up a before and after photo when a girl messaged me he's like oh my god I just thought you had filler in your whole face and I was like thanks I

Wow. Depuffed. But the thing is, like, that can happen to people. Totally. Like, filler is something you just want to be very careful with because it can totally change your face shape and look and everything about it. Where Botox, you're literally just smoothing out the fine lines and wrinkles. Yeah.

Fine lines. It's not that bad. Okay, do you, do you, I just cut you off. That's fine. I was reading, I was reading on my laptop and just said it out loud. No, keep going on the fine lines. No, I think that was a, that was a beautiful transition, Alex. Beautiful. Give it to me. It was an abrupt transition. Do you struggle being alone? Botox thins fine lines and wrinkles. Jordan, do you struggle being alone and cry at night?

Well, Alex, let me tell you something. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I do. I feel like when I think about myself being alone, it's like a roller coaster. I'll have a few months where I feel fine. I love being alone. I thrive being alone. And then I'll have a few months where the thought of being alone actually makes you want to crawl in a hole and die. Crawl in a hole and die like you're so uncomfortable with your own thoughts? Like that? Okay, so...

When Alex and I were planning this episode to talk about this, because this is just a question that a lot of people ask, and I think a lot of people struggle with in their 20s, I started to think about the reasons why I struggle being alone. And before, I would have said yes, but now I have new reasons now that I've actually thought about it. Okay. So, just want me to run through them? Yes. Wait, but to clarify, this is why you... The reasons are why you don't like being alone? This is why I do struggle being alone. Okay, okay. Yeah, let's hear it. So...

The biggest thing on why I struggle being alone, I would feel, I feel like is it's been times in my life where I don't feel fulfilled or love the life that I'm living. So back in Minnesota, I struggled being alone a lot because I was an industry. I didn't like, I, I mean, I,

Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends back home that I love to death, but I didn't have a lot of great friends as well. There were just a lot of things in my life I didn't like. But now being in New York, I love so much of my life. I'm more okay being alone. But that was the biggest thing. I just didn't feel fulfilled or love the life I was living. That makes complete sense. Yeah. Another thing is, we've talked about this, when I put all of my eggs in the same basket, where you're too dependent on something or...

a thing, like a job, I guess. Like, for example, if you're in a relationship and all you do is hang out with your significant other and then they leave for a weekend, the idea of being alone is going to make you feel crippled because you have nothing else to look forward to. So that's a big thing, too. Okay. Yeah. I like that. And I guess, like, the last thing I had was just...

The basic, like you have nothing to look forward to. Someone told me once the key to happiness is always having two things planned because then after you get done with that first big thing that was planned, you have one more thing to look forward to. And honestly, it's helped me so much in life.

That's why I like this job too is because you have set things that we have to do or like recordings you have to come to that you have to like prep for. It's very different than like a nine to five accounting job. Yeah. There's things throughout the week that you can look forward to and in New York because that helps me too. I have to have things planned throughout the week that I'm like, I'm excited about that. Yeah. Endorphins. Like you wake up and you're like, today's X, Y, Z. Yes. And I feel like we're lucky to live in New York where, for example, something I love to do is just go for a walk. So,

Last Saturday I spent the whole day just walking around New York City and that was something I was looking forward to do. I was alone the whole time but it was so fun. We're in Minnesota. I wouldn't be able to walk eight miles throughout Minnesota. I mean I could but I might end up in the woods or I don't even know where I would end up. Just not near anybody. It's not walkable. Most places aren't nearly as walkable as New York is. Yeah.

So I struggle being alone when I don't like myself. Like that was me three weeks ago before I pressed reset. I noticed like I couldn't be alone to the tune of I would. Graham was out of town for two weeks and I had to call him while he was at dinner with his parents and he would put me on mute and I'd have my ear pods in air pods, not ear air pods in.

also loser, like just had my headphones in. And I would listen to their dinner conversation because I couldn't be alone with my thoughts. And so I was reflecting on that. I'm like, why couldn't I be alone with my thoughts? And I was like, because I didn't like myself. Yeah. So I was just sitting there stewing with them. But then when you get out of that and you're like, OK, we're OK, like get out of your own head, get outside of yourself. Then I'm like, I can be alone. Yeah. This weekend I would go home and I like preferred to be alone.

You know how people say they recharge in two different ways? Some people recharge being alone. Some people recharge being social. What are you? I'm the be alone one. So that's why it hurts me when I don't like to be alone because then I'm never fully recharged. What are you? Both. It ebbs and flows for me. Social is good for me, but also being alone is good for me.

I've noticed that with you. Like, we've – throughout our very short friendship, I've noticed that sometimes you love hanging out and you have so much energy. But then I've also seen you where you – when you're around me too much, I'm like, Alex is starting to – the fire is starting to dim. Like, you need to be alone to recharge. Yes, absolutely. Especially this job. Yes. Like, not that I'm out here being able to, like, give advice, but I would say – like, for example –

The one thing that helped me be okay being alone was when I got a hobby I truly love. So when I was in Minnesota, I was very unhappy. I cried like every single day. I'm not kidding you. Like I was miserable. But I started TikTok and I would make TikTok videos every day.

And that made me feel so okay being alone. I know it sounds stupid, but I knew if the weekend was coming, I could drown myself in pop culture and TikTok all weekend. And it would be, I'd be okay being alone. Like I never had a hobby that took like time out of my schedule before, other than like going to the gym. So it was big for me. Does social media make you feel connected to people though? No, it doesn't. No. I mean, I,

No, no, it doesn't. No, no, it doesn't. Does it make you feel more isolated? Yes, 100%. Okay. But I use social, we use social media in different ways. Like I feel like it's our job now. So I don't go on social media like I did before and like stalk people. I just go on, post what I need to post, stalk the famous people and do work for like,

Mean Girl Pod, and that's pretty much it. So you don't scroll anymore? I don't scroll anymore. I only look at a few people's stories that I know will make me. So I have really good boundaries with social media. There's a few friends I can't do their stories because I'll get FOMO, I'll feel anxiety. But for you, for example, I can do your story because you have a healthy story. We have a healthy relationship.

And I will never view your story and be like, oh, Alex didn't include me, blah, blah, blah, where I have friends that would do that. You know what I mean? That would view my story and think that or that you would view it and think that they like left you out. Yes. That was okay. Yeah. Those are people. Okay. How do you feel about muting people?

Oh, please, please mute. I think even unfollow like you don't owe anyone anything ever. So if you don't want to follow them, unfollow. But if they are your good friend, just mute them. They'll never know. I think muting is the best thing that ever happened. Like the unfollow if people know, okay, can come off harsh. If you don't know them, though, if you want to unfollow Kim K, unfollow her. But if it's your friend that you're like, she's not serving me on social media. Just the mute button is the best thing in the world. I've done it before.

Yeah, I think you should. No, I think you should do it if something triggers you. Yeah. Especially when it comes to being alone or feeling like you're left out. Just mute. I 100% agree. You'll feel so much better. I agree. So I feel like if anyone is listening and you struggle being alone, for me, my quick few tips of advice would be find a hobby that takes time out of your schedule that you look forward to doing. Two, if you're dependent on one person,

Really try to go outside your comfort zone and make some more friends or go on dates or do some fitness classes just to be around other people. Like those are like my two biggest things. And three, plan a trip. Look, do something or plan a manicure or pedicure. Just have something to look forward to throughout the week.

That's what I would say. Yeah. Do you have any tips? My tip is like, listen to yourself. Like my body will say when I, when I start to have a problem being alone, my body, I'll get a little flash throughout the day that like, I'll see like a yoga mat or something, or I'll see like something will pop into my head. It's like, call your friend. And my body's telling me like, this would help me feel less alone. And I'll, I'll,

I'll bury that underneath me. And I'm like, no, I, I'm not doing it. But when I do it, I feel so much better. And I, I start, I tell my buddy, I'm like, huh? Stop doing that. I don't want to do it. I don't want to meditate. I don't want to call the friend. I'm not going on the walk. I'm not going to the gym. If I do any of those things, I feel better. So I would say, listen to yourself. Other than that, listen to the mean girl pod. We'll be your friend. Yeah. That's, that's a big thing. Literally like find a good TV show or a podcast and listen, like,

Everyone struggles with being alone. So literally I do that all the time. I love it. That's great advice too. Also, I always feel alone. So I don't have much more advice past you and me both.

Well, one of the tips I gave was going on dates to feel less alone so we could jump into how to date successfully. I like that. Okay. You're a little segment queen. A little transition queen. A little, ooh, like a little. Okay, but I love. I love. Oh, Jesus. No, sorry. Go back down accent. You're not there. Okay, can I quick say something? What? No, this isn't a bad thing to you. Okay.

Do you conform to people's accents if you're around them too much? No. Do I? No, I'm not saying you do. I think I do. So when I lived in North Dakota for four years, I would come home and my parents and my friends would be like, whoa, like,

Please rethink ever sounding Canadian again. But I noticed after I hung out with you and Graham in Aspen for four days straight, there was words I was saying and I was like, oh God, it's happening again. Like I can like turn it off quickly, but it's bad. Hold on. This is my favorite though. Say S-O-L-O-M-A-N. I cannot get over this. S-O-L-O-M-A-N.

Alana's face. No, we're eating lunch last week and she's like, solo man. And I'm like, Solomon? Wait, what? Was I taught that O's are pronounced as O's and A's are pronounced as A's? Say it again. Solo man. Wait, do you know people with the last name Solomon? No. Oh, okay.

This was a guy's first name. A first name, really? Would it be S-A-L-A-M-E-N? Would that be Solomon? Solomon. Now you're confusing me. I know. Solo man. Solomon. Solomon. I was like, Solomon? Another, you, are your hard R? Is that what your thing is? No, I am a, O's are, O's and A's are A's. O's.

Oh, yeah. Say it. Oh, yeah. Opinion. Opinion. Yeah. You know what? The first thing to dating successfully is getting people's names right, okay? So ask that right away. Solomon. Because if I was going on a date with this guy, I would have immediately been like, hey, how do you pronounce your first name? I've done it before. I went on a date with this guy and didn't know how to pronounce his name. I just asked. What was his name? Jack. You're so funny. You're so funny today, Alex. Anyways. Just a casual.

Wait, what's his name actually? Cut that out. We have to cut that, yeah. I was like, where did I get that? And I'm like, oh no. I was like, wait, yeah, cut the out.

Cut it out. Yeah. So that was his name? Yeah, that was his name. So yeah, please cut that out. But we're not on to my date yet. No, sorry. Okay, so Alex, you... I forgot, did you post something on MeGirlPod about any tips to dating successfully? I feel like you had some really good questions or pointers down. Yeah, well, one of my friends texted me and was like, I'm going on a date tonight and I'm going to do all the tips. I'm going to have good posture.

I'm going to make, I guess eye contact doesn't apply when you're going on the date. Once the fish is caught. No, but I mean, it's so important. Yes. Like conversationally to maintain eye contact, but it's not the eye contact across the bar of letting me know if I can come talk to you or not. Yeah. That's different. But also asking interesting below the surface questions on a date. You want to be memorable. Like,

Even if it is a first date or meeting this person for the first time, second time, you want to leave the date where they're going to be thinking about you because you did something different than the other girls or guys that they've gone on dates with. It's a lot of people in the world. Set yourself apart. Literally, that's the biggest thing. Okay, but I have a question for you. Go. You know how in Aspen we went from setting you up on a date and we decided to take you to the bar so you could go talk to people?

Okay, when you go to the bar to talk to people, you're talking to somebody and in the first 10 minutes, in the first three minutes, I think you can tell if you have chemistry with somebody as opposed to a dating app where you're caught behind the screen and your personality might not come off. 100%. Do you think on a date or in general, you can tell everything you need to know about somebody within, let's give it the first 10 minutes, or do you think there's a scenario where somebody's shy and maybe their personality didn't come through? In that case, you should give them a second date.

So Alex Bennett, that's a great question. And that is something I have taught myself and changed my mentality over the years. Old Jordan, I would have said first 10 minutes, I know if they're my person.

New Jordan, new and improved Jordan working on things says no. And I think that is a big thing to dating successfully. You have to go into a date realizing that the person you're sitting across, one, has like their interview front on where it's not their true personality. They're being a little bit more perfect than usual. And two, is probably extremely nervous and shy, rambling, not talking enough, just not comfortable. Right.

So I feel like you can go on a first date and kind of figure out if there's some type of chemistry. But I think, and this is something I'm literally working on as we speak, go on that date and be picky, but don't be unreasonable. Yes. Okay. So with that being said, because what I was going to do just then was reiterate what you said, but you just said it. So check that box. This is why last week you were like,

We almost shifted. So right now I'm messaging the guys on Hinge, which I would have a more, not an open mind, but I'm going to have a different mind than you. Also, what do I have to lose? Yeah. Like, I'm not going on the date, so I'm probably a little less critical on these guys. And we almost made a shift to where you started messaging the guys again, but then we realized...

If you messaged them, you were going to be too picky. Yes. And maybe some of these guys you wouldn't go on a date with. 100%. So do you think it's helpful to have me message them still? Yeah, honestly, I think it's great. Like, I...

am still picky and I we're all can be shallow human beings with big egos where we definitely put looks first on dating apps so that's the first thing I do is I see if I'm attracted to them whereas in person you usually meet a guy you don't necessarily think he's that cute but his personality makes him cuter but you don't get that on dating apps so I think have a friend message the guys for you and if you match with someone I absolutely don't want to go on a date with I just won't go it's not the end of the world you know what I mean right yeah yeah not a big deal yeah

I also think, okay, so in terms of being picky, I think, because you're going to explain your high standards here in a moment. But I was thinking this morning about...

things to be picky about and things to not be picky about and why it's good that you go on these dates that like I find for you. Yeah. Because when you're on a date talking to somebody, there's a chance that you can see how they treat the waitstaff. They might say, I want kids or I don't want kids. They could tell you, I never want to move out of New York, but maybe you want to live in a suburb somewhere. And they're like, I'm never going to do it. They tell you how they are. There's so many of these moral things that you can get from them. And I think that's where you can be picky. But I think

when it comes to looks and things like that, everybody's packaged so differently. But as long as you know, like I think the way somebody treats a waiter, it tells you everything you need to know about them. Why?

1 million percent. And so you can take that and then you can say, okay, I'm picky about these things. But because when it comes down to being married for 10 years and something tragic happens in your life, like the guy that's cute, he might not be able to be there for you as good as somebody that's like morally strong or like morally sound. So I was thinking about like ways that I would be picky.

And so now I want you to explain your high standards because I think people are confusing your standards with like, I want a hot, rich guy with like, no, that's not what you're saying. I'm taking a step back so I don't... Don't unleash on the DMs. Freak out at the camera and at the people's ears.

been saying I have high standards, but for some reason, the only thing people hear is I want a rich man. How many times do I have to say I want a rich man so they can keep up with the way I want to live life? I don't want your money. I want you to have money so you can also pay for a trip and go on that trip with me and I'll pay my own way. Okay. That's all I'm going to say about that. But I have high standards because the person I end up with, I want them to be my

Forever person I don't want to get five for us like if you do whatever cool um but I just I don't understand why it's so big such a big deal to have high standards I don't understand well I think we should verbalize the standards tell us like a tell us the top three like is is him is he being able to financially keep up with these adventures you want to go on a top three thing.

Yeah. Okay. So that's a one. Yeah. Oh, you just want like my top things I need in a relationship for it to succeed. A must have. Okay. For these high standards. Okay. So yeah, one, they need to be financially well off because not for me, but for, so they can live a life that I like to live. I would say number two, they have to be a kind human being. Like we go out to dinner. Alex made a great point and they're disrespectful to the wait staff immediately. No, I will never talk to you again.

And three, I feel like you just have to have this certain sense of humor where I don't know how to describe it, but it's kind of like witty banter slash dry humor mixed together. Maybe that is the same thing. But you know, sometimes when you're talking to someone and they have like this weird sense of humor, you get the ick. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about. Yes. I don't want that. I need it. It needs to be a specific sense of humor.

Um, Oh, there's another one. I also need to be challenged. Okay. Oh, there's actually one more. This is my, this is my top one. They need to know how to take care of a situation. They need to hold their own load.

I never want to be in a relationship with someone where I am doing more work or it's more stress to be with you than than to be without you because I don't have time for that. Like that was actually my biggest point was you shouldn't be with someone who increases the load. You should be with someone who lessens the load. And if that's that is my big that is my biggest deal breaker.

Okay, so there was five. Yeah, there was a lot. Sorry. I have a lot of standards because I have high standards. Those are all so fair. They're like personality traits. Yeah. Like I feel like people hear high standards and they're like, oh, she's shallow. Like, yeah, especially guys like they're not listening. Exactly. I mean, I'm not saying you have to look like Ryan Reynolds or Leonardo DiCaprio or have a six pack. I like dad bots like whatever. Okay, but we're gonna we're gonna do a little devil's advocate here.

Of course we are, Alex. Are you okay with that? Yeah, of course we are. I love when you do that. So when you say the first one out of the gates was financially could keep up with you, would you sacrifice financially being able to keep up with you with somebody who –

You said that you want somebody that can handle stress. Let's say maybe when times get really tough, they kind of lift you up through those. Like if there was a point in your life where you're like, I can't get through this, but they got you through it. Does that trump being able to take you out on an adventure? Honestly, at this point in my life, I don't think so. Just because I've been single for four or five years. Like I know I don't need a person to make me happy. Like I've worked on and I've gotten there.

Where, like, these standards are pretty much non-negotiables. Like, and if I can't find it, I've come to the conclusion, like, I'm okay being alone until I find it. I'm okay being alone until I'm 35, 40. Like, I don't need somebody tomorrow to make me happy. Okay, so when you say, like, I feel as though the adventure component is very important to you. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it goes, I think for you, it's a top two. I also think when you were talking about sense of humor, I don't think you're saying they have to have a specific sense of humor. I think you want a compatible one to you. Yeah. I just want someone who makes me laugh. Like that's pretty easy.

Almost everyone in the world can make someone laugh. Yeah. Maybe not like funny to me might be a different type of funny to you. Yeah. So you want the person that's compatible to your sense of humor that can take you on adventures because you're adventure driven. Yeah. Like for your mom's birthday. Crap. Is she going to listen to this?

Yep. You got her an experience. How about that? Oh, she knows about it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of getting your mom a gift, you were like, I spent money on my mom getting an experience. And you said in Aspen, you're experience driven. Yes. So time and time again, that comes up with you. Yeah. And you're like, I'm fine being alone. I'm not the girl that wants the boyfriend. No. But when I do find the guy, like a non-negotiable for me is going to be that he can go out and do all these things with me. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

But I think that you're not asking them to pay for you. No. You want them to keep up with you, and that's the discrepancy that I don't think people, like the angry people are understanding. Like if I go to Napa, I don't want you to pay for my plane ticket. I want to pay for my own plane ticket. I want to split the hotel. I want to split, split, split, split. Okay, so I think what gets lost there is that might not have to, they might not have to make six figures to do that.

Or are you saying I really want you to be able to split this? Okay, so the six figures thing was like, I understand that there's guys our age who can't make that, but if they're motivated and they're on track to making that, that's fine too.

Okay, what if they make six figures, but they, oh my gosh, okay. Oh God. What if he's well off? Yeah. But he's not experience driven. He is pro, I want to save all my money till I'm 35. No. Yeah, I don't think Jordan would like that. No. Yeah.

No, they like to spend money the same way. So I don't think we want, I don't think we need a rich man. I think what you're saying is a guy well enough off to keep up with your adventures that wants to spend money on adventures.

Is that what we're saying? Yeah, but rich would be nice. Okay. Okay. But I'm also going to be rich one day, so it's fine. You make your own money. Yeah. Get your own bag. This morning I watched the sunrise over the east part of New York City and I go, wow, I would really love to live in a condo that overlooks the east side of New York City.

And that means we both have to be rich to afford it. Okay, so we're not going to make excuses anymore. Here's what we're going to do, I think. Okay. I was trying to get out of you what we mean by defining rich. And so is, like, I need you to say it. Do you want a wealthy man or do you want somebody that can go half and half with you on a vacation in Napa because they're two different things? You know what, Alex? I want a rich man. There we go. Okay. Then I think when people slide into your DMs and they're like, you're a gold digger, I think you have to be like,

Who isn't? That's kind of what I'm saying. Thank you, Alana. I think you have to own that. But I have been. No, no, no. I know. I know. But they were making you mad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. But also, I want a rich man. But just because he's rich. Like, let's say I start dating a man who makes half a million dollars a year. That doesn't mean I expect him to pay for my stuff. No. Like, I'm not out here being like...

I just because you're rich, you have to pay for me. Like, that's not it. I just want you to be rich because in the future when we get married, I want to live in a nice condo that overlooks Eastside and watch the sunset. Wait, Sun. Rise.

What if he's making $750,000 a year? Wow, that's awesome. Okay, but he's a complete dud. No, no, no. Personality is just as important. Non-materialistic things are just as important as materialistic things. Okay, what if he's making $750,000 a year and then the apartment catches on fire and he doesn't know what the fuck to do? Oh, immediately no. Alex, do you not understand high standards? You need to hit all the buckets. Okay, I'm just...

Okay. It's like trying to fool me. I know. No, no, no. I'm not trying to fool you. I'm just trying to be... I just want to get it all out. Yeah. Because I do think people are wanting more information on what this guy looks like. I have high standards and if you hate me for that, well, that sucks. That's cool. Whatever. You should have high standards too. Also, I think high standards prevents people from settling, which is what...

people need to do less of these days. Settle? Not settle. Yeah. Like if you, if you're in a relationship and someone doesn't meet one of the big three or five for you, you need to rethink that relationship because usually that when it becomes like the big three or five, that's not a quick change. It usually has to do with like your financial status, your

humor, how you treat people. Those aren't things you can just change overnight. You know what I mean? So when you have your high standards, ladies, gentlemen, think of your top three to five and just reevaluate your current relationship. Can I ask one more? You may, Alex. You can ask as many questions as you want. $750K a year. Oh, God. You like everything about him, but your best friends absolutely hate him.

Nope. That's... Well, I would have to dig deep and be like, why do they hate him? Like, he's probably a really shitty person. True. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So you would reevaluate that. You'd pay him off. You'd pay your friends off. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You'd mail him a check. Yeah. So to end this off, I'm just going to say to date successfully...

Come up with three to five non-negotiables. Go into a date open-minded, knowing that the way that person's perceiving themselves might not be their true personality because they're nervous. And also my third tip, go into the date thinking that you're just meeting a friend for dinner. Like that's how I think of it. I literally go into every date being like, they could be another friend. I don't put, just like to take the pressure off. Okay. But since we're running out of time, I think we should talk about my date. Let's talk about it.

I have to say something on the dating thing. Oh, yeah, you may. I think I'm going to counter it and go entirely for chemistry and see if the rest takes care of itself. Okay. Okay. That's where we can say we do not agree. No, but I like when we don't. Yeah, I do too. It's good. We're not the same person. No, tell me about your date. Okay, let's get into it. So I went on a date on Wednesday. One of the better first dates I've ever been on. It was a great first date. Wait, wait.

I know nothing about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to say everything. Okay, so to give you guys a quick rundown of the date, because I guess no one really knows. So we went to a bar, really cute bar in between where we lived. It was a great time, very intimate, great drinks. Did he pick the spot? He picked the spot. He planned the date. He picked the spot. He paid. It was a really great date. He actually...

Did the three Ps. I just explained this to Alex. So three Ps to a successful date is they plan the date, they pay for the date, and they prompt. And prompting can either be they prompt a second date, they prompt that they're going to see you again, prompt that they're going to talk to you again, or when you get home, they have a text. Like you have a text. Like just prompting that you're going to keep in contact. Okay, further communication. Like it. So we did the three Ps. So we got out of the date. He asked me on a second date.

Yeah. We were standing there and he goes, hey, do you want to do? He says, you know, whatever. I don't fucking care. He said, do you want to go to a movie on Sunday? And I said, I said, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be great. Points for a specific date and day, knowing. Yeah. Well, guess what? Oh, my God. What? He blew me off. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Did you see that one coming? Did you? He blew you off last night? Yeah. He didn't text you? Well, okay. So this is what happened. So we got over this. He's staring at my shoe, like, just kind of zoning out. I was like, cute, you went to a movie last night. I know. I was going to talk so much highly about the first day. I mean, to be honest, you guys, the first day was very good. Like, very good day. Great guy. But we got over the first day. He asked me, he literally goes, do you want to see Batman on Sunday? Around, like, 7pm.

six o'clock when I get home. Cause he was going out of town for the weekend. And I said, yes, that'd be great. If you're still up for it, like I get your tight after you travel. Um, didn't hear from him. He texted me like two times on Thursday. Stop texting me. Didn't hear from him Friday. Didn't hear from him Saturday. So Sunday rolls around. And in my head, you guys know how anal I am about plans and time. I was like, okay, this is weird. Maybe his flight got delayed, whatever. So I texted him and I go, you know, I'm just going to pull the text.

So he was flying back to New York on Sunday. Yes. But he, I even said, I said, are you sure you're up for it? Like I get tired after traveling. He goes, no, I want to see you again. So I was like, okay, cool. We're, we're, we're in business. So I texted him around three 30 and I was just like, Hey, are we still on to hang tonight? I like hope you had a great weekend. Didn't hear from him. So then an hour and a half passes. And I was like, Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

So I text him again and I was like, assuming we're not going to hang out, but I hope everything's okay. Cause I was like, maybe he died in a plane crash. I don't know. That's valid. He texts me 10 minutes after. And so what he said, and you know what? If he's listening, I don't give a fuck. I'm just kidding. It's actually, I really don't care anymore. Um, he goes, Hey, so sorry. Didn't even get, didn't get back until with the, sorry, the first part doesn't matter. He goes, I'm back now, but I'm at a bar X, Y, and Z, uh,

uh with a few friends watching the game probably okay i'm like sorry i'm trying to take out a lot of like personal things to like not so it's not um obvious who he is let me reread this he goes i'm back now but i'm at a bar i told you about when we were on the date watching the game with a few friends i'm gonna head home a little later a little later but we'll hang in let's get together this week and in my head i immediately and ladies you should do this too write this man off

I really, yes. I personally think that your time is most valuable thing in the world. And if someone can't respect that or have the decency to shoot a text and just be like, Hey, I don't want to see you or Hey, I'm tired. Like he could have literally been like my flights delayed. I can't hang out.

But he made like actual plans. It wasn't like, hey, let's see each other maybe on Sunday. He goes, let's go to the Batman movie around six o'clock on Sunday. Ideal for you. Ideal for me. So this is what I did. And this is what I recommend you doing too. I don't really play games, but I think this is a good way for ladies to play the game if they want to get back at the guy. We're going to be a little toxic for a second. So I text them back and you always got to kill them with kindness. So I said, hey.

no worries glad you made it home safely I'm actually busy this whole week but I hope you enjoy the game with your friends then he texts me back and goes well if you're around next weekend can we hang out then and all I did was heart the message and that's all I'm gonna do and he will text unless he listens to this he probably won't but he will text me and I'm not going to hang out with him ever again okay so he's he's off yep he's off

That's what I mean. I have high standards. I'm not into this bullshit anymore. I'm like so, I'm stunned. I'm impressed. Thank you. I was so ballsy. Like, wow, Jordan, that was awesome. Yeah, but wait, can we go? You're messing with the wrong girl.

Hold on. Can we go back to the first date? Yeah. Like, what was so good about it? What did he say? What did he do? He was just, like, so nice. He asked the... Oh, actually, sorry. I forgot. I wrote down details of why he was so good. He was confident. He asked me a lot of questions about myself. He knows I work at Barstow, by the way. He knows I have a podcast. He knows everything about me. Like, it's not like he just found out. You know what I mean? Hi, Kyle. Hi.

what if he's listening oh you don't even know like no like he knew he he asked me all these questions he was i told you he sat next to that one person from barstool on a plane yeah he knew about barstool um super confident super seems super nice asked me on a second date like just like all around seemed like a great guy and i was interested convo was good convo was great very two-sided did you think he was really cute in person so cute tall

I mean, we talked about his height. I think he's like 5'11". Okay, but so you were attracted to him and loved, like, would have totally gone on a second date. Would have totally gone on a second date. He was fun. I had a great first date. Wow. Yeah. And then he did that. And then he did that. How many drinks did you have at the date? Only two. Just, I had two wines. He had two beers.

Oh, so he wasn't like seven martinis deep being like Batman 6 p.m. No, he had like a light beer because he's trying to lose weight. For a bet. For a bet. Oh, I was like, what? Where did he go? Home. He traveled home? Oh, for the weekend? No, he had a guy's weekend. Okay. Yeah. What? And then he came back and went to a bar? Yeah. So I have, so there's a few things I want to say. One, the way I think about things is the way a guy...

Like what a guy shows you in the first few dates is the most important thing. Cause like that's their personality. They're not going to change. So like if he blew me off once, he's going to blow me off again. That's why I have no time. Also, I'm a very busy individual. If you can't respect my time, you can't respect me. I don't respect you. Like you guys know how annoying I am with time. It just goes back to the standards. My thing was back to, you should never be with someone who stresses you out more when you're with them than when you're not with him. He stressed me out. He ruined my Sunday. I don't want to deal with it. So that's why I wrote him off. Three,

The only thing I can think of is he was with...

Thursday night or on the weekend who maybe saw some stuff from this podcast and he they were like this girl's just gonna fuck with you blah blah blah even though I would never do that that's my only guess yeah it's just interesting if that was the case a you think he'd be like listen I had a really great time but I think I don't really want any part of this podcast like I think you could say that but it's weird for him to say can I see you next weekend I

Well, that's a cop out a lot of times to make people feel better about themselves. They go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll hang out next week. And then next week, I'm going to roll around and they would be like, oh, I'm busy, sorry. Yeah, I prefer to just have the audacity to be like, no. Yeah, me too. Wow, okay. So a good thing gone...

Yeah, and if you're listening, I would have gone on a second date with you. I had a blast, but whatever. His loss, not mine. Yeah, well played on your part, though, just hearting the text message. Whoever in Apple was like, let's make it possible just to heart the text messages. Savage.

Savage move. And I have a new date this week anyway, so it's perfect. That's exciting. Yes. Wednesday? Yes. But also, we got a quick dive into mean boy pod questions. Okay. Okay. So that's enough about the day. I don't really want to give it any more energy. Yeah.

It's not that big of a deal. It happens actually to me all the time. Like, this is not the first time this has happened. Ladies and gentlemen, it does not matter who you are, what you look like. Everyone gets blown off. Everyone gets ghosted. It's just the way of life. But Alex and I are starting a new segment called Mondays are for Mean Boys where boys can write in and ask us girls specific questions. And we have two we want to quick dive into. The first one is how to get a girl thinking about you. Yes. Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? You go first. Okay. I think...

Okay, there's like a lot of obvious ways to get a girl thinking about you, which would be like texting her, talking to her at the bar, playing games with her. I think that none of those things should happen. And I think the best way to get a girl thinking about you is to show...

her someone that she could be with. So show her like a really kind guy or a guy that cares about her. Like if you're going to send her text messages, make them thoughtful. Again, we say it a lot. There's a lot of guys in the world, a lot of girls in the world to set yourself apart and play the long game. And I think, I think more people should do this, but if you send a girl flowers,

I know you don't like that, but I think it shows that you're thinking... I think it gets her thinking about you. How deep in the relationship are they? See, that was hard for me. I didn't know if this was, like, right at the beginning or, like, if you were kind of talking about it.

So I was trying to think about it a couple different ways. Like at the beginning. Please never send me flowers. See, I think it's nice to send them. It's funny, actually. I don't like to get flowers. But I think if you're – this is like you've been talking for maybe like three months and you're trying to like push it over the edge. But I didn't have any context of getting a girl to think about you. I thought this was like the first date. I was kind of thinking you just kind of met and you're trying to like get into like the –

Like dating. Yeah. Okay. That's where I think you ask her out. I think you just go ahead and send her a text like, hey, drinks this weekend because you can get so much more done in person than you can over text message. Yeah. Okay. That's my advice there. The way I took it though is when you're initially talking to a girl, like for example, I went on one day with a guy in between date one and two. How can he make me think about him?

Oh, different scenario. Okay. What do you think there? So like my biggest thing is never obsessively text somebody in the beginning stages. I would say like don't text too regularly up until probably like date four or five. But something that's super cute that I love when guys do is when they send you –

It can be through any social media platform, but a lot of times it's Instagram. Memes or things that remind them of you. So like let's say you were talking about my favorite movie, Step Brothers. You're on Instagram. He sends you a meme in the DMs of a Step Brothers quote that he saw on a meme page. So that way you know that...

He's thinking about you. She's now thinking about you, but you're not being too obsessive. That's like my biggest thing. I love a DM like that. Yeah. That's cute. That's my favorite thing you can do. That's really good. And that way too, because like sometimes when you obsessively text a girl, they might get a little turned off because it's like too much. So this way you can let them know that you're thinking of them, but also that you're not going to like...

You're not like the only girl that, sorry, there's a siren in my ear. I can't think. I can't think. So like you're not obsessively reaching out to her and she starts to think, well, maybe he could be talking to other girls, but he's also thinking about me. You just have to like slightly play the game in the beginning. Yes. Yeah. Okay. The next one is why do nice guys finish last? Oh, I have a great response for this. Okay. Okay. Nice guys do not finish last.

Easy and eager guys finish last. I like that. Okay. Mine was also, why do nice guys finish last? I said, they don't finish last in the long run. They always win. Yeah. And if they don't win, they're always happier. But the nice guys, the one you want to marry, like they're not cool. Nice guys are never cool when you're 21, 22 or like you're in college. They're cool, but they're not maybe the ones you want to date, but they don't lose. But also like, I

I don't think it's the nice guys that are losing out. I think it's the guys that are being too eager and obsessive and easy in the beginning. Like every single human being likes a little chase. We're human beings. We don't like things that are just given to us. We always want things we can't have. Like be nice, but don't text her all day, every day. Just use a tip that I just said. You know what I mean? Like send her the cute DM. Don't,

Like when you see her, don't be like, oh my God, I'm so excited to see you. Like I miss you so much. Dude, it's only been one date. Like just be a little. Yeah. Nice guys don't lose though. I think this nice guy must have just lost once, but overall nice guys don't lose. They win. Maybe he was really eager. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause remember we talked about that last week at the bar in Aspen. I think the guy stopped talking to me because I was too eager. Like eagerness kind of comes off as scary in the beginning, like suffocating. Um,

So just don't be so obsessive and easy and eager. Be nice. Always be nice. No one likes a douche. Well, I think if nice means eager, then yes, it's a problem. But if nice means like truly like a kind person.

guy maybe you were going after a girl that wanted more of a chase or something yeah also yeah maybe that girl didn't have the same intentions of you or as you maybe she wasn't looking for a relationship also you will win in the end you will win so just keep holding on to the right girl comes nice guys always win they always win if nice truly means nice you had the wrong girl yeah you might not win in your early 20s but let me tell you

Every girl will get sick of the games and the douchebags and nice guys will win. They always win. They always win. I want a nice guy, okay? I'm sick of the games. Like you said, I shut it down. Like I'm not into it. I want a nice guy. The nice guy win. Nice guys, for three years, it's not cool and then it's cool. Yes. Okay, that's it. Yes, that's it. So guys, make sure to like, subscribe, comment, review, follow us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok,

Subscribe. I think it's subscribe on Apple now. I don't even know. Follow on Apple. I mean, know what it is. Do all the things. Do all the things. Do all the things. Get us up to 2000 reviews on Apple. And next week we will. Next week. We'll see you next week. Yeah. Happy Monday. Have a great week.