Sexual Ruts & Boundaries with Parents ft. What’s The G Spot?
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The G-spot, I think, is just supposed to be an area that's very pleasurable. Is that why it's called a G-string? No. No? Why is it called a G-string? I miss these moments so much. I feel like we haven't had one of these in so long. We're your besties in your ear. Talk for another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Mwah!

Oh my gosh, welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. It's extra special and tell them why. Because it's our one year anniversary. Happy birthday. They're totally going to get mad at us screaming in the mic. I know. Okay, we'll...

Well, let's do this really quickly. Let's just talk about how, even though we're one years old, the most best thing that's ever happened to us is our one and only sponsor, Pink Whitney, because no matter where we are, no matter what we're doing, no matter what season it is, we drink Pink Whitney. So head over to your local bar today with your best friends. Maybe think of an anniversary with your friends. I don't do those with my friends, but like, that'd be cool. Yeah. And take a shot. Yeah. Or cheers to the Mean Girl pod. How about that? Yes. You guys have an excuse.

To go out on a Monday now. That's right. Celebrate Mean Girl Pod anniversary. Do it for us and tag us in your stories. Yes. Actually, yeah, that'd be awesome. But you guys, I can't believe we made it a year. No, I should rephrase that. I can believe we made it a year. I cannot believe it is a year. Yes, I definitely knew. No.

No, there was a point where I'm not so sure I knew we would make it a year. Wait, what was that? When we were doing like 94 episodes a week and didn't have a basis. Like, we have to gain some clarity. To remember how far you've come, you have to remember where you came from. You mean like the first few months? Yes. Yeah.

And I definitely got a text from somebody that works with the other works with us the other day. And he was like, God, it was chaotic at first. Who? Jeremy, you know, because he listened from the beginning and he was like, you guys really finally like it was like this. And then you really even down. It's like I had forgotten about that. I was like, wow, thank you for saying that. We did. What is the saying? Like some time, like some beauty comes from dirt or something. Some flowers come from dirt.

Like there's a saying out there where it's like some people are shitty, but they turn really good. But it's like some things in life actually start out shitty and turn to gold. There are so many of those things. And I can't think of one single one at this moment. Like, oh, my God. Like no seeds, no roses, like something like that. But wow. Literally. I think of one on that note. Do you want to pop champagne to get the juices flowing? Oh, yeah, we do. Or I do. We do.

So we're back in Alex's apartment, which is so fun. Talk to him about YouTube. Yes. Oh, Alex, thank you for reminding me because I always tell people to watch on YouTube at the end. But this episode, you're going to watch YouTube in the beginning because we're back in A.B.'s apartment. We have some fun decoration. We're popping champagne right now. We have like some it's pretty much just like someone threw up pink everywhere. And it's so fun. And you have to watch episodes like this and talk to him about the time of day it is.

It's day drinking. Oh, yeah. We're day drinking at 1.09 p.m. on it. Well, we're recording on a Wednesday, but it's Monday. We're day drinking. Don't hit me. Why are you facing the camera? Why are you facing it towards us? I'm scared. We're so sorry for anyone listening whose ears just popped off. Wait, you know how... Oh, thank you. Thank you. You know how...

sometimes when you get nervous, you're like, oh my God, I have so much pressure on myself. I don't know why, but I just feel like I have so much pressure on myself right now because it's our one year. I don't feel like I can respond because I'm not holding a mic. So you have to talk to yourself for a second while I get this in. Alex is currently pouring me a glass of champagne. Oh, this looks good. Thank you.

um but actually i want everyone right now to pour themselves a drink it doesn't have to be alcohol because we're all gonna do a cheers together pour coffee pour tea pour water pour lemonade pour diet coke force now i gotta relocate literally maybe um maybe actually do pop out some champagne or some wine we're giving you permission to yeah fuck it it's a 9 a.m i don't care

And we're all going to do a cheers to Mean Girl Pods one year. But first, Alex has to pour herself a glass of champagne. I poured a little. Oh, you did? Yep. I'm in. I'm ready. Wait, how did you do that so fast? I have practice with the champagne bottle. Okay, you're incredible with... What are they called? Toast. Toast. So give us a toast. Give us a toast. Okay. I think this toast goes to...

adversity and making the most of it because that's how mean girl pod was born. Um, sometimes you make call them mistakes, call them whatever you want, but as long, it doesn't matter what happens in the past. It matters what's going forward. Never look back cause you're not going that way and cheers to a great 2023 cheers to new relationships, cheers to challenging yourself and cheers to girls and friends and boys. Cause we're nothing without you. We love you.

We love you. Cheers. That was really sweet. Oh, thanks. We made lemons out of lemonade. We sure did. That's one thing I can remember. No, lemonade out of lemons. Jordan? Yep. That's really funny. Have I ever told you I'm really bad at remembering sayings?

Oh my god, and now I just swallowed that with a little burp. So should we do our favorite memories quick to start it off? Yes, but you guys go first because I have a couple I'm juggling. So if you guys maybe said mine, then that would eliminate it for me. Oh, okay. Wonderful. Okay, so I think my favorite memory... Obviously, I have a lot of memories. I feel like Alana's going to... I feel like we're all going to have the same one. Wait, why are you laughing? No, I don't know. It's just like...

excited like oh I was like wait wait should I not say it no you would be laughing if you weren't the one talking um I

I have so many, but this one just like when you, when we said favorite memory, it like came to mind. That's the one. And it was when we were all in Oklahoma together and we were driving. Well, Alex was driving us around and we were just listening to music. We were eating at every fast food restaurant known to man. Then we got back and we were just avoiding recording for hours. And we ended up like in a bathtub. I think I like peed my pants. We spilled stuff all over us. Alana was like,

doing some weird stuff like we're all just like I don't know it felt like we were back in college just being real friends not that we aren't but sometimes all we do is work and we don't actually get to hang out and I just felt like we all were genuinely hanging out and having so much fun and I just I've

I've been laughing that hard in so long. That's a very, okay. That was, that was one of my top three. So I'm glad you said that. Yeah, that was definitely mine too. Just like that whole weekend. I also very fond of thinking about, um, well, does this have to do with like just us or like the podcast? No, it can be us. Right. Yeah. Or the, but yeah, either. Yeah. Or my favorite podcast memory was going to the thunder game with Katrina and Elena, uh,

Because, well, A, we were just having so much fun that weekend just as friends, like you said. But it was so fun to, like, hang out with people that, like, listen to the pod and, like, really listen and, like, are such, I guess, like, avid fans and just, like, hang with them. And it was just like, oh, my God, they're, like, normal and, like, we relate. And it was so sweet. But also, like, I had so much fun when we went to the Jersey Shore. Yeah.

And we were like on the boat. I don't know. That was just such a fun day. We were on the boat. Memory unlocked. Yeah. Yes. That was fun. Fully forgot that existed actually. I did too. Fully forgot about that. I don't count it really start for some reason. I don't count it starting to like September in my head. Same. Why do I feel like the

podcast didn't exist until then. Me too. I'm like, July? What? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Oh, and sorry. The quick when we first made the charts, that was a monumental moment that will live right in my head forever. Tuesday morning, Gigi Cutie tagged us. Gigi Cutie. Shout out Gigi Cutie. She's like, charts. And we're like, no. And then we're like, oh my.

My God, we're on the charts. That was awesome. All right, AB. Okay, mine is... I was going to say Oklahoma and then I was going to say the episode in Nashville, but then I'm going to go with this one. It was when we were sitting in the pod room

And we had done the makeshift sets And graham and I like I was having a hard time in life and I was trying to get through this episode And I don't remember which one of you caught it first, but one of you was like are are you okay? And I was like, no, i'm not. Okay And alana was like i'm turning off the mics and you were like you have got To just talk to us and we sat in the pod room for like four hours And I just like spilled everything and it made me

It makes me want to cry because I'm like, I haven't had moments like that a lot in my life where I can really stop and talk and just be like fully honest. And this podcast has done that for me, for all of us. I feel like it's like feeling vulnerable, opening up about your lives, like really feeling things. And so that moment was symbolic of like the whole podcast for me. So I picked that. Oh, Alex. Yeah, that was a tough one. You guys, if you really think about everything we've gone through, we've gone through...

we've been thinking about like we've gone through heartbreak like marriage troubles friend troubles sex issues like arguments tears like we've gone through it all in this on this podcast internet hate internet hate you want to toughen up join the internet and our listeners know know us so well but

And we've just felt through it all. Like we didn't know what we were doing. No. If you ask us, what's the goal? We don't have, we're like, I don't know. The world will take care of that. KFC actually said it great yesterday when he said, when the opportunity comes knocking, you open the door. Yes. And it's like, we're good at that. And we take things in stride, but we don't know.

We don't have a clue. I could never predict... If you think back this past year, I would never have predicted any of the things that we were able to do. No. Fully no. It's insanity. And every day, I'm so grateful for you guys and this podcast and everyone listening. And I can't believe we're at a year. God, that was a chaotic year. It's a... I...

I want to say, I think when you have kids, maybe those are, those are probably like phenomenal years, but it will go down in history as one of the most best, greatest years of my life. Oh, same. 2022 changed my life forever.

Oh my God. I know. Oh, that's what I think of when I think of the podcast more like, obviously the things that we talk about, like opening up being vulnerable, but for us specifically in like, I guess our careers and just following, like answering the call, like you said, I feel like that for us personally, like that's what this was, was just trying something when the opportunity came in front of you and like pushing through and then seeing like,

Seeing it succeed because you put care into it. Like we didn't know at first. There was so much unknown. Yeah. But we just did it. We ignored all the bullshit and we're just like, no, something feels right here. And we just kept doing it. And then it paid off. Well, and also like think about how much we've grown. Like, I feel like we've become better people. Yeah.

Like you've tried different things in your marriage. Like so much has changed. If you listen to like the first months, episodes, first two months. I'm not going to say you. I was even kind of like an asshole. A little bit more toxic. Maybe you weren't so open in your marriage. And now it's like... Think of all the things that we've done and tried and changed. Fully. Fully for the better. That's such a good way to put it. It's made us all better people. Do we want to go to our first subject? Yeah. With that? Oh, great idea.

Great transition. Thank you. Alex, one year, but you've killed that transition. 365. I'm like, okay, I think I can do one. Yeah, let's get into it. Okay. So somebody submitted this question in the DMs talking about how they don't want to offend their partner with trying new things with sex.

So I was thinking about this this morning. I'm actually going to kind of read from this. Okay. Because she said it's awkward for her and she's worried she's going to offend her partner. And I was like, I really relate to that. And then I was like, why do I relate to that? I was like, I felt so awkward talking about sex. Even when this podcast started, people from back... People in my own family were like, it's so awkward hearing you talk about sex. And I was like, so weird because...

Like a lot along with eating and drinking and breathing oxygen sex is like one of the things we're like hardwired to do Like people taught me how to drive a car I remember when I turned 16 my dad was like this is how you drive and then I drove No one ever was like this is how you have sex not the correct way. No, nobody ever like told me so, of course I felt awkward talking about it and I was like Why do I feel awkward and it's because there's so much unknown and I was never taught how to do it

And so I always felt a little bit of like embarrassment around it or like fear of rejection or maybe like Graham judging me or something. And so I remember when I first breached the topic, I was talking to him about wanting to spice things up. And I was so nervous because it was something I was kind of taught was like an awkward subject. So like in my brain for 25 years, I thought it was an awkward subject. Yeah. And it's like,

You have to have an awkward one minute conversation for like a lifetime of better like sex. And then I was thinking about, okay, well, what did the better sex teach me?

You know how I'll parallel marriage to like our relationship sometimes? I'll be like, okay, like, you know, it's that and it's also friendship. Okay, well, one thing you and I don't do is have sex. Wait, should we tell them? Okay, we do. We're actually married. Somebody said that the other day on the internet. They're like, just marry her and it'll be easier. And I'm like, okay, fine. Well, cool. But I was like, that's the one thing when you're in a room with a bunch of people, like you and your partner, you're like, you're the only person that knows this about me. And I know this, like it sets you apart.

Yeah. And so it's like this really cool thing and it makes you more emotionally intelligent and it makes you feel like special and more connected. And so I was thinking the best way to do it is, or the best advice, I think this is just personal and admit this could change in six months is knowing it's going to be awkward.

But you know how somebody tells you something's going to be awkward or you're going to feel vulnerable, but you have to do it anyways because the outcome's good on the other side. I think the sex topic is one of those things. Going to be tough. Going to be a little... You're going to be like, I want to try new things in the bedroom. If you've never talked about sex, you probably have no freaking idea how your partner's going to respond. Yeah. But I think it's something that is worth doing. Well, how did you... Do you remember how you had that conversation with Graham? Yes. Like...

Like, do you like, what did you say? Okay. I remember I did it in steps. Cause I remember we started talking about it on here and I was like, I want to try that. Wait. So did this, the conversation between us on the podcast help you leverage the conversation with Graham entirely? Okay. Because I never knew what I was missing.

Well, and sex is something that you kind of feel alone or in the dark about because everyone's afraid to ask the questions that we're all thinking. Not sure why. But you're like, do you guys do stuff with this way or that way? And it's like, just ask the question. You can figure it out and you can talk about it. When we first mentioned butt stuff on here and we were like laughing, we're like, do you butt stuff? And you're like, I love butt stuff. And we're all like, it's like.

Everyone I bet is thinking that or pondering that and we're afraid to talk about it or like snickering. Yeah. And it's like, I want to know. Or if one of us is like, I don't really like being eaten out or I love being fingered. Like every girl has a preference, but no one's talking about it. And all the guys want to know too.

fully. So maybe to start the conversation with your partner, start having more open conversations about it with your friends that you trust. Yes. Yes. Or just like, I think you're, I think you have a good point. Like it has to be, it's a baby step at first. It can't be like you go home and you're like, I want you to put it in my bike. It's not peg. Like, no, you can't do that. Is that what pegging is? It's when you would wear a strap on and

have anal sex with Graham, but you'd be putting in him. See, my mind's not open to that one yet, but now it is. Well, now I'm thinking about it. I can't think of what I just thought in my head. I hate that. But even like the first time we mentioned Vibrator, it's like I had never thought about it.

So obviously every week when it gets brought up on here, my mind, my wheels start to turn like my brain expands. I assume the same thing happens for our listeners. I would assume. Yeah. So if they're starting to think about it and this girl's DMing and she's like, OK, I want to talk to him about it. But how do I start? It's like, holy shit, that's a really valid question. Like, did you sit Graham down? Were you like having sex when the conversation happened? Like why?

walk. I kind of want to know exactly how you had that. Cause I'm gonna have to have that conversation one day. And I don't know how. Right. Cause like nobody ever told us how, and I don't know for sure how, but I do remember we were getting ready for bed and

And we were like starting the sex process. We didn't do foreplay at the time. And I was like, I forgot we invented that for you too. Yeah, you guys really, really changed. But with changing my sex life has also my relationship changed. So I see the benefits of it. I mean, you can't tell me that better sex doesn't increase the relationship. The emotional capacity and like connection you have is infinitely better. Yeah. And I never even thought I was missing anything, which is what's funny. Because no one talks about it. Yeah, it wasn't broke for me.

And then I fixed it and I was like, wow, it's a lot better. Yeah. But I remember we were like starting it and this, so the first time I did it was when we were like about to have sex and I was like, I want to try like a different position tonight. Like I really want to mix it up because I want to look forward. I think if you are doing the same thing every night in the bedroom, maybe you're fine doing it, but you don't look forward to it.

So I think when you mix things up, then you start to look forward to it. So the first time I did it was in the bedroom. Then I was like, let's challenge ourselves. So I did it one day when he got home from work. When you like asked him, I was like, I want to try new things. When we were like starting, got it. I was like, let's try a new position. Let's mix it up tonight. So we did it like right then and there. Okay. I love that.

Then he got home from work and I remember being like, it wasn't a sober conversation because you're not drunk in the bedroom, but it's like not when you're in the bedroom, you know, like a removed. Yes. It's more like serious. Yes. And I was like, I really want to, I really want to try. Like, I really want to start going full send was the word I used.

Oh my God. I remember going, I want to go full send on this whole thing. What did you mean by that? Like in your head, what does that mean? Okay. Fully. I can actually fully define what full send meant for me. It meant whatever I felt like, it's like I had to unlock this part of my brain that was like, do whatever you want. Like if you're feeling freaky, you can be like, you can be the term freaky as we call it.

And it's like anything that enters your mind, you can do it. And so Fulson for me was like, if it enters, I'm trying it with them. Regardless of if he's like, oh, like what's going on there? I'll say this. Every single thing I've done, like I'm a girl. He's a guy. He loves it. Yeah. I think we're probably maybe a little bit more reserved. Maybe like there's not one thing I would think a girl could do to a guy. He's like, no, except no.

Butt stuff. Put the finger up the butt. Yeah, that might be like... They don't like when you get near them. Wait, when you put your finger up their butt? Well, guys, I've never done that, but I like joke around and they're like, don't do that. And I'm like, probably would like it if I did it. I think they might. Well, the men's G spots are, it's like an area near the butt. So it's actually very pleasurable for a man if you go near that area. But a lot of guys are like, don't touch me there. Guys have a G spot? Yeah. Wait, like a clit?

um not so you know how like the clit's actually not the g-spot there's this there's an area like in the vagina or outside the vagina right that's like it's in in that like if you hit it like that's where the pleasure comes from that's when you orgasm i don't know exactly that's where you orgasm but that's like your spot like that's where it feels the most pleasurable so we have a g-spot we both do and a clit yeah and they also have a g-spot yeah it's um between i want to say between the ball sack and the butthole

And if you were to touch it, they put pressure on it. It would be great. It would just make it feel really pleasurable for them. They wouldn't come. It wouldn't be like I came, but it'd be like, wow, like that feels really good. How do they come otherwise? Just by it feeling good. Or do you actually touch the G spot? Like with something? How does that happen? How does it happen?

I feel like if... I don't know how... I don't know the chemistry behind the actual orgasm. But it's not... You don't have to touch the G-spot to orgasm. You can touch just the clit or just that. Do you touch our G-spot to orgasm? No. Because a lot of people have external orgasms versus internal orgasms. True. The G-spot, I think, is just supposed to be an area that's very pleasurable. Is that why it's called a G-string? No. No? No.

why is it called a g-string i miss these moments so much i feel like we haven't had one of these in so long that makes perfect sense for you having a g-spot does your eye never make you come no but it probably hits the g-spot maybe actually but women's g-spots not in their butt it's not no men's is men's are women's is in the vagina which is what the g-string covers why is it called a g-string

I think you guys think I might be right. I think it's the shape of it. It's valid. It does look like a G.

Isn't there a T-string? It's the one that just goes like this in the back. And G is like the one with the little triangle. Oh, maybe. I think it's like the shape of the fabric. I don't know if Graham would be into this, but next time you're with him, ask him if you can put pressure on his G-spot just to see what happens. Because I did that with one of my ex-boyfriends. And let's just say once I did, he was like, all right, it's not that bad. What are you Googling? The G-string. Why is it called G-string?

Well, because it holds in the genitals. I'm dead. That's why they call that? G-string is a type of thong, a narrow piece of fabric, leather, or satin that covers or holds the genitals between the buttocks and is attached to the waistband around the hips.

That's why it's called G string, like genitalia. I think so. Who would have thought? Wow. Who would have thought G equals genitalia? And what is G spot for? I don't know what G, what the G stands for in the G spot. Greatness. Goodness. Greatness. The goodness spot. The good, the goods. Um,

No, I don't know if the G spot... You don't need the one plus one to equal two with the G spot. Oh, the Grafenberg spot. Oh, like you don't need the G spot plus the clit to equal coming. Yeah.

No, because it doesn't have to hit the cliff. Okay. Yeah. You could touch their G spot and it would be sensitive for them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's just kind of like, oh, that feels good. See, that would be something that would be worth exploring though. Yeah. You should try that on Graham. Like why not? Well, because a lot of guys are like, don't go near my butt. I got to figure that out. Well, it's because...

They think it's like... I don't know how to properly say this. What do they think it is? They think it makes them gay. Yeah. They're like being homophobic. Yeah. It's messed up. I don't understand why men feel insecure about that, but that is why. Oh, but not at all. No. Hey. It's wonderful. You like it up the butt. That's a pleasure area, okay? Don't deny yourself what feels good. That's what I'm thinking. If it feels good, just do it. Yeah. Okay, so that would be a topic. That would be a very...

even modern topic for us. He comes home Saturday. Honey, I have an idea.

He's like, yeah, that one I'm not so into. Let me think. But he might be. But who are we to say? Exactly. Who are we to say? We don't know. Also, you guys are in a very healthy, good community of marriage where you can talk about it. Yeah. Let me see. Let me, we definitely can mingle about that. Yeah. I feel like the only time, or I know when I'm in a relationship, it's going to be difficult for me to have those conversations because

I don't know why. I think it's because I don't want to offend my partner, but something which I need to get over and hopefully I will. But I know in the past what I've done is I've been like, hey, I tried this out on myself and it felt incredible. Ooh.

we should try that on me. And usually that like makes it seem like it's not like they've ever done anything wrong. It's just like, I found this that feels really good. If you want me to come, you should try this. And usually they're like, of course, why would I not want you to make you come? Okay. That's actually a really good point. Phrasing it, not that you're doing something wrong, but let's try this. Yeah. And like, okay, I, let me know what you want to try. This is what I want to try. Cause I want to try new things. Both of us. Yeah. You give me one and I'll give you one. Exactly. And also like,

Who would want to make their partner feel good. Yeah. I will say this too, because I've never like, so for you, you're like, I've tried this on me or I've tried it with another person, but I don't say the other person. No. Right. Yeah. So me and my ex did this and I like loved when he did this. You do it for me. They would all, I would be so disappointed.

distraught if someone said that to me. I think a very... I think... Okay, we don't give out no-no's very often. But I would say one thing that would scar me is if somebody brought up their ex in the bedroom saying they loved what they did. Like, I had such good sex with my ex. I would be like... That's borderline a deal breaker. I would be... That's like calling me by your ex's name. Yes. Like I'm thinking... Because then you're thinking of that during sex. No. No. Okay. So for me though, I've never...

Like I used to not, I used to not, do I call it jacking off for me? You are masturbating. Guys jack off, girls masturbate. Well, men masturbate too, but men can like jack off, jerk off. I guess girls can...

What are the terms? Because, girl, I've heard people say DJ before. That's funny. Or Jill Off. Jill Off. A girl can't masturbate. Yeah. Or a girl can't jack off. Because that's jacking off. I think people say that, but it's, like, creepy. Yeah. Yeah, I would never be like, I'm going to go jack off. You would go masturbate. Yeah. I don't think I've used any other terms besides masturbate. I masturbate.

I'm pleasuring myself. Yeah. Is it that? Because it is a form of pleasure. You could say that. I don't like any of them. I mean, or what did someone say the other day? The other day was like, I'm jacking off. What did she call masturbation? She was like, when she did it with her fingers, she used this term where I was like,

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard, but I can't remember what the term is. I don't know what it was. Okay, well, I've never done those things, right? So I don't have like a, I love this for me. Can you do this for me thing? Correct, correct, correct. So the only thing I can do, and it's the weirdest thing, but I've tapped into it this past year is like, you know how they say you're hardwired to have sex as like mammals? Yeah. And like animals do it too. It's like this weirdest instinctual thing where it's like, I've never found it from somewhere, but my mind just knows I want to do it.

Does that make sense? So it's like, I've never tried it to myself, but some of the things I want to try, it's like, I don't know where I saw that. I didn't watch it anywhere. I just like wanted to do it with

Wait, that's so true. Or even like when we were younger, we never had sex at one point in our life. Why do we crave it so much? Well, I guess puberty hormones, all that. But yeah. You know, like I'm not like, oh, I did this to myself when I was single and now I want you to do it to me. It's like, I'm just like, I think I want to try this. And it just like comes from somewhere. Yeah. I mean, you're a curious individual who likes to pleasure themselves. Isn't that fascinating though? That is. Yeah. That actually is because since you aren't somebody who masturbates on their own. Yeah. That is interesting. Hmm.

It's fun for Graham though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is fun. Yeah. I think at the end of the day, it's just once you understand how to communicate with that, communicate that with your partner of what you want, it will be better in the bedroom. It, the emotional connection. Like, I think there's three different phases. One, four, one, you're not having sex at all. I think that's really sad. Like, and we hear those stories all the time. I think people are afraid of that in marriage too. Yeah.

Sex is a chore. We've talked about that. Yeah. Three sexes, just like eating dinner. You know, you're going to do it. Great. Sometimes it's better than others. Yeah. Routined for is this thing that we're kind of exploring and it's like, love it. Have fun with it. It's like true pleasure. Yeah. And it's great while you're doing it, but it makes it like totally permeates other areas of the relationship. And I never bought into that until I started doing it.

Yeah, yeah, that's so true. Another area that that like I'm really bad at is when you're have you ever had sex with Graham back in the day? Not now because you guys do have better communication and he's doing something that you really like, but then he stops doing it and just moves on. And you're like, no, no, no, I really want you to keep doing that. But you for some reason, your voice can't say that. Yes, that happens to me all the time. I'm like, wait, no, no, no, no. I really like that. But why wouldn't I say that? Wait, yes, yes.

Yes. And why, why is our voice silenced? Why do we feel like we can't say anything?

I feel like I could like sitting here today. I'm like, I don't feel like I can't. Yeah. I physically cannot or don't. Yeah. Same. It's like my, my voice leaves my, my body. And I, it's like, go back to doing that. But it's like, I don't even know if he knows he was doing it fully. Like in the moment and just trying different things. But, and if it's like, wait, go back to doing that. It's like, wow. Yeah. Yeah.

That is something that has happened to me all the time and I've never said it out loud. That happens to me. Yeah. Almost every time I'm having sex, actually. And it's like, why would we just say it? I don't know. You know what else? When you're about to orgasm and you're like, it's feeling really good and they can tell, they start doing what they were doing, but they're doing it harder. But it felt, yes, but it felt so good the way they were doing it. Why do men do that? I think they're like, oh, this is like, of course, harder does not work.

does not mean better men. Harder does not mean better. But I see, I see like why you would do it because I think I would do that too. Well, they get excited. Yeah, and they're like this, I'm doing something right so I'll do it more but it's like, no, the way you were doing it was perfect. That's something too I've never verbalized. That happened

that always used to happen to me. Like I would be like getting close and then he would be getting more aggressive. And I was like, okay, I love the aggressiveness, but I'm a soft, gentle girl when it comes to me almost coming. Yeah. Yeah. Like I need you to like take it down a notch. I think that is something we could say. Okay.

I was going to say soft gentle. I was going to say soft gentle giant, but I'm not a giant. Refers to herself as a giant in the bedroom. I think giant might be the word. If somebody called me a giant or referred to their ex in the bedroom, I'm done. No, same. But yeah, that's a great point, Alex, that

That happens to me a lot. But yeah, I don't know why it's instinctual for us to... Because girls do it fast or do it as well. Like when guys are about to come, they're faster. Oh, no. I think I actually am that. Yeah, but I think guys do like that. I don't think I've ever noticed that I've done that. One more thing I was going to say was what? Dang, I don't know what's left me. It was about this though. Maybe it will come back to you if we keep going, going to the next topic. Somebody rang the doorbell. I think they'll ring it twice if it's important.

That's my method. Is it snowing? Yeah. I was just going to say, my mom just sent me a picture of her puppy in the snow. Ring once if it's not important. Ring twice if it's important in life. Wait, is this your first New York snow? Yes, I wasn't here for the last one. Oh my God, you want to go play in it? Yes. Okay. I'm so excited. I'm like, uh-huh. Anyways. That's actually the key to life. It's like...

If they call once, it's not important. If they leave a voicemail, then it's important. I am not going blind. If you call me from an unknown number, I'm not even going to let it ring. I'm declining it. You know how last week or two weeks ago, I can't remember, we were talking about how we do things differently to help one another and you were saying you've gotten really into time management. Yeah.

The amount of times I've wanted to call you and I just have to put that phone down and I'm like, not today, Jordan. Not today and not tomorrow and not the next day. No, literally, I'll be like, what should I tell Alex? And I'm like, well, I can't text her. I'll wait until I see her in seven days. I actually can't contact her at all. Damn. No, literally, it's like, I feel like I have a laundry list of things I have to tell Alex every time I see her. But.

But like for some reason I don't text it to you because it's just like overwhelming for me. And then I don't call you because you don't allow that. So then every time I see you, I'm like, Alex, this and then this and then this. And then I'm like, okay, see you in four more days. Talking about adapting to friendships. I'm like more time managed. You're not talking to me. You're like, oh, I've cut off all communication. Literally. I'm not with you. Like Alex lives in a desert. I do. On a desert island. I used to like arrive to things and people would think like,

You know how you're like, oh, they have a group text without me. I've never, I don't have those like without my friends. When you screenshotted that text this morning to me, it said you had like 79 or 179 unread texts. And I was like, no, I can't. I can't. I know. Like my friends, we were, the other day we were like playing this game and it was like, who has the most unread texts? And one of my friends said like 400. I'm like, who are you guys? I have zero on a regular basis.

Do you have you zero your texts out? Yes. Every single night. I answer immediately. Yes. I don't go to bed with texts. It didn't even agree with that. No, I never go to bed with texts. It's like emails. I never go to bed with unread emails.

Let me see. Let me see the emails. How many texts do you have open or not read? 86 texts. And that's good for me. 13 emails, 19 reminders. And these numbers are great. Like I have screenshots for me with like thousands. I bet Alana has like 500 texts on read. She gives me that vibe. Actually, I read all my texts. Oh, good. I don't answer right away, but I saw it. Okay. Actually, no, I don't. I saw it. No, you don't. Careful. I always uncheck them, but I have 64,000 emails. 64,000 emails. Yeah. Oh my God.

Oh my god, I have 11 texts. Because I don't open it unless I need to open it. You guys are fucking crazy. You guys are batshit crazy. Why would I open it? That's a significant amount of storage. Oh yeah, I didn't even think about that. You should just get rid of those accounts. You should just delete them. Why don't you just delete them if you don't want them? I'm going to delete them. I just go like this when I open my email. I'll do it for you. Pay me. Can you? Yeah. I also delete texts. When you're out of my life, I delete your texts. See, I don't do that at all.

Oh yeah, I have this running joke with my friends. If I delete our text strand, you're out of my life forever. Oh yeah, I could get to college text strands probably. Oh, me too. Yeah, fully, fully. Somebody could text me from nine years ago and I'll be like, oh, that's weird. We talked about chocolate. And then I'll be like, I think I know what this is. If someone's like, oh, does anyone have this picture from 2016? I'm like, yeah, one sec. Yeah, I probably, yeah, right, same. Fully. Oh, wow, wow. Not me. That's crazy. I know. I'm home.

Can't decide if I like the champagne or not. The champagne's great. Oh, I was actually going to ask you. What is this? I really like it. Oh, it's Chandon. No, I like the taste of the champagne. What flavor is this? Brut. Okay, I thought so. Brut is the way to go in life, I think. That's personal, I guess. I can't put that. I feel like that's what is true champagne. I agree.

Brew is like that champagne. Yes, not the Prosecco. No, it's too sweet for me. Is Prosecco considered champagne? Yeah. Oh, shit. No, I don't like Prosecco. I like brew. Brew is the only champagne I enjoy. I love Prosecco. It's dry. Dry is too much.

First little, like, I don't know how to explain it. Like I said, I'm becoming more of a dry girl. Like I'm not even, I'm starting to get off the Savion Blanc train and jump on the Sancerre train because a lot of the Savion Blancs are so sweet these days, unless it's from New Zealand. I do like Sancerre's. Like I do agree. I was having wine last night.

And I got a Sauvignon Blanc and I was like, this is so sweet. And then I asked for a different one and it was still so sweet. You're so knowledgeable about it. I forgot my backpack at a bar last night. I saw that. What happened? I only had two glasses of wine. I was not drunk. It's one of my girlfriends. And I got home and all of a sudden I was like, something is missing.

And I was like, I legitimately forgot my backpack at the bar. And that backpack had everything in it. Did you have your laptop? You went all the way home? Yes. I spent $90 round trip going home, going back to the bar, going back home. But that's a no-brainer, $90. No, no-brainer. If I would have lost a laptop, my whole...

My whole life is on that laptop. Did you call the bar when you noticed, like when you realized? Yeah. And their number is disconnected. That's a thing. Yeah. I legitimately, I was panicking. I'm like, I've never felt this way before. And then when I was there, it was obviously I got my backpack, but I've never forgotten something monumental before. Yeah. You're not, you know what it is? What? It's the two glasses of wine. Oh my God.

Because if you have four, if you drink a bottle, you're like somehow silly, just silly enough to remember it. Two for me is where I like lose my motor skills. Like I'm like, I can't, I can hardly function. Wait, Alex. Oh my God, you're a genius. I think that actually two glasses of wine makes you more drunk than a full bottle of wine. I completely agree.

Zero, you're fine. Yeah. Remember the backpack. Four glasses. I'm like, I can do it. I'll organize my apartment. I can do things. Two, I'm like, just, it's just loopy enough that I'm like, I'm off. I have one glass of wine and I've been like blacking out, forgetting things. And I'm like, why is that? Because when I have a full bottle, I'm fine. And I thought it was because I was stressed.

I think you're right. I think you're so right. Two's an enemy. It's not. Two high noons? No. Two anything's an enemy. Let's talk about BetterHelp. Okay. Because this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you're at your best, you can do great things, but sometimes life gets you bogged down and you may feel overwhelmed. We feel it all the time. Or like you're not showing up in a way that you want to. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you.

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Visit betterhelp.com slash mean girl today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash mean girl. Love. Well, on that note, should we move on to boundaries with parents? Yes. That was another topic that a lot of listeners really wanted us to discuss. Okay.

That was another topic from the listeners. Well, it's one of those things I haven't written down on my sheet and it's like boundaries of parents and your relationship, but it's not like an actual like segue into the conversation. So I'm like, Alex, take it away. You know what I always found with boundaries of parents? What? I always felt bad creating them because I was like, you got me here. Like you paid for my meals, fed me at the table, right?

For 18 years. And now I'm like, here's a boundary. Wait, that's actually so interesting. If think about like one day, some of us might be parents and one day you're going to have a kid for, I don't know, 20 some years. And then one day they're not going to need you or want you anymore because they're going to have a significant other. That's kind of hard to think about. No, it's. And then you have to draw this line with them. Mm hmm.

I remember when I first married Graham, my parents, I think had the hard... Like my brother's not married. So I was the first one that was married. And I think they had the hardest time because we... Because when you...

Start dating somebody, start getting married to somebody. Two things happen. They had a set of parents that did things differently than your set of parents. Yeah. So now you're combining lives and you're like, well, I did it this way. And they're like, well, I did it this way. And it's like, okay, well, we know the best thing to do is decide our way. Well, the way that you two picks probably not the way your parents did it. And they, there were moments where my parents were like, I can hardly talk to you. I can't believe you're doing this.

And it's like the best thing my therapist at the time told me was if your parents did your job, the next generation inevitably thinks a little different. And it's probably going to be a little more modern thinking. And part of your parents are like, I'm so much older than you. I'm so much wiser than you. I cannot believe you're doing it differently. Half the time, that probably ends up as a bad thing. Half the time, it's a great thing. And it's like you have to explore that. But I think the boundaries thing is less...

It's more about being cordial and less about being controversial. I think that's the best route to success with it. Did you guys have a harder time or sorry, did your parents have a harder time with boundaries than Graham's parents? Yes, but I think Graham and I are both the youngest, but I was the first married. He had two sisters that were older than him. One of them was married at the time. And so I think they just were like, yeah,

We've been doing the boundary thing. They get married. They have the kids. They do this. They create their own life. And mine were like, excuse me? Did Graham struggle with anything then with your parents and boundaries? Was he ever like, Alex, you got to stop them or Alex, we have to do things our way? Or did anything hurt him or affect him?

I remember the first time I had a flat tire out in California. And growing up, if I ever had a car problem, I would call my dad. Always. And he can fix it. And I remember I'm out in California and I have a flat tire. And I'm like, Oh, I'll call my dad. Graham's in the state of California. Your dad's in Oklahoma? My dad is in Oklahoma. My dad talks me through how to change my tire. And somehow, lo and behold, I do change my tire. But...

And so I get home that day and Graham's like, how was your day? I'm like, Oh my God, crazy thing. I had my first flat tire. And he's like, did you call triple a? Like, did they come and change it for you? And I was like, no, I called my dad. Like we FaceTimed, he walked me through it. And Graham was like,

You have to call me. I am your guy now. What are you going to do the next time you have a problem? Just call your dad? And I was like, oh. And that was tough on me. I understood exactly where he was coming from. But the biggest problem was I had to learn to trust Graham.

Yeah. Cause I'm sure he was hurt. Yes. Like call me. Yeah. Like why doesn't my wife feel like she can count on me? We were dating. Oh, sorry. We, I will say I did have to, it was a large part before he proposed to me that we had to get over.

Yeah, I can see that very much. So in the dating, there was a time where Graham was like, you have got to start. Like I got, you got to give me a chance to be your guy and fully trust me or else like, I'm not doing this forever where you're still like on the tip for lack of a better term. Yeah. What were your parents mad about? Like what kind of things were they like, I came and talked to you like disagreements and what like holidays or planning thing? Like what,

Never holidays because we had those pretty structured. And Graham and I are always very fair and on the same page about that. It was politics. When I lived in Oklahoma, I was raised one way, thought one way. Actually, I wasn't too into it. I never really even voted or anything because I was just really aloof to the whole thing. Then I moved out to California and I call it exercised my mind. And without being political on here...

I started to think things or experience things or say things. And to this day, the, okay. So the thunder, the Oklahoma city thunders, the only NBA team that prays for a basketball game. Oh really? Yes. I had made a comment about that. Now actually fast forward to now. I'm very, um,

I'm always pretty see all sides, but I was pretty opinionated when I was in California. Anyways, I said some things and my parents, I mean, it to this day is the most knockdown drag out. Like we're all bawling. Like me and my mom and I are just yelling at each other. And it was because she just couldn't fathom me thinking of these things. I don't think. Yeah. So what would you say? Like if there's a couple out there dating, married, whatever, who would you say?

who struggle with parents maybe being a little too overbearing or not understanding boundaries? Like what can they do to help them understand it so it's not a conflict in the relationship anymore? Like what do you and Graham do? Like what were some of the things that helped your parents kind of maybe back off a little bit? If that's the right word to use. Yeah. Talk. Okay. Yeah.

My parents are pretty involved and like I work with my mom. Yeah. So what I found was best is understanding where they came from, which was always a place of like upset. Like I got you here. I raised you. And it's like they're knocking on the door and they feel like you're slamming the door in their face over and over again. So to stop and say, I love you. I totally am. I'm so appreciative of you getting me here. You can trust Graham and I as a couple. Yeah.

We're going to do things this way. And then I think the earlier you do this, the better it's harder to do at the beginning, but it's better long-term. It's a firm boundary. And when I say we're going to do things this way, we're doing it this way. It's not open for discussion. Just letting you know. So it's a little bit of love. It's I'm thank you so much. You gave me the tools to even think this way and I'm doing it this way with him sink or swim, you know, maybe it'll work for us. Maybe it won't, but I owe it to him and you raised me.

to go pick a partner and to give that partner 100% of myself. So we're doing it. And it's like a hard chop. Now, fast forward to now, like my parents...

Oftentimes, we'll call Graham and I'm like, we're so proud of you and the life you guys have built together. But it took thorough communication with them and explaining to them, I am doing it this way. I like that. I think too, a lot of people sometimes when it comes to values and relationships, I feel like values is kind of what parents and couples struggle with. I think people...

get blindsided and they need to really take a step back and be like, okay, these are my values. These are my parents' values. These are the values that I want to take from my parents and keep with myself. And these are the values that my parents believe, but I don't believe anymore. Because I think a lot of people will carry all these values over with them into a relationship. And then when they think about it, they're like, wait, I don't even value that. And now I'm making these and creating these arguments with my spouse or my girlfriend or boyfriend that isn't even necessary because I don't truly believe in those values anymore.

Yeah. You said yesterday, you were like, I'm really trying to figure out my values versus my family's values. So when I get into a relationship, I'm firm on that. Yes. And I thought about that this morning and I thought I did it backwards. I never thought about it. Right. So I'm envious of you and the fact that you're going to do that step first.

Yeah. I mean, up until like this week, I never thought about my values. I don't think anybody, no one does. People like I say that and no one, no one knows what values even are. I didn't Google what a value was. I'm not kidding you. What is it? It's like, I literally go, what are some common values that people have? And it's like trust, loyalty, love, communication, motivation, work ethic. But I, what's yours? What am I? I did. Yeah.

Well, tell us. What are your values? What are they? I wrote them down yesterday because I think I sometimes maybe pick the wrong men because I don't have my values straightened out. So my values, and these probably will change on a daily basis because... I mean, not a daily basis, a yearly basis. But right now it is kindness, optimism, motivation, honesty, and love. Kindness, optimism, motivation.

Motivation. Honesty. And love. And love. Yes. I love that. Do you know yours? You've said them to me before. Well, I remember last year I found out a big one for me, like something I valued was... I actually have mine in my phone. But being uncomfortable, but also like work ethic. Yeah. And that was one that I was like excusing for Graham, but it was like very important to me. And it was one that I didn't think could be on a values list, but it's very much so on a values list. Yeah. And it's like the fact that you're saying...

It's cool that you're single and you recognize the values because that will be so important when you pick things. And it will help me pick people too. Totally help you pick people. And then going forward, I can figure out more so like what values I want to bring into a relationship and what values I want to carry over from my family into a relationship. Yes, that's...

It was just my walk. I thought it was on me. Okay, these are my 2023 values. Uncomfortable, fulfillment, bursting with love slash gram. That's not really technically a value. It's probably love. Health.

But that's feeling good. And then challenging. Wait, I love health. Health is a good one. Health is great because it's like, okay, I'm still going to have fun, but I'm also going to take care of my body and my mind. Yes. Sleep. Yes. Or like things like that. Balance. Fun is also part of health. Yes. So it's like that was kind of a broad one. I love that. Yeah. I don't really have an answer for people when it comes to boundaries because I'm not in a relationship, but

I feel like it's something you need to talk about in the beginning of a relationship. I also will say this. They're hard to establish. It's weird if you just, you know, marry somebody. You both came from different nuclear families and like you both know how to load the dishwasher the exact same way. Probably not going to happen. Right. Like, but what was cool about the boundaries was Graham took things in my dad that he saw and he's like, I would love to have that in my life.

So he would implement them. I took things in his family that I was like, I really love that. And I would do those. And then as time moved on, we established these boundaries and it like helped us establish us together, but it wasn't easy at the beginning. But I would say now I'm so happy. We put in like the tough conversations to establish them. I love that. I also feel like it might be more challenging too, for people who are getting in relationships later on in life, because like,

you might meet someone from a different part of the country, maybe from a different part of the world. It's like different economic class. Like so many things play into it. Like when I was growing up in Minnesota, the people I was dating were also from Minnesota. So we had a lot of the same values. Our, our families work the same, but now the person I marry probably won't be from Minnesota and won't have those like Midwest values and boundaries. So I'll have to like relearn them and get to know new ones. But,

Ooh, that if that would be so I often think about growing up in New York. Yeah. You know, like if we went to high school here, we would be completely different people. But to think about you dating somebody that maybe went to high school here, it's going to be that you guys you guys will take more from each other than even Graham and I did.

That would be crazy. That would be like bartering. Or like if I, even if I date someone from the South. Yeah. Such like, I would assume they're a lot more family oriented than people in New York. Like I would have to learn like a whole new way of life. Yeah. But that's why it's cool. You're doing this, this values thing. I really thought about that. I was like, that's pretty smart to do now. I mean, thanks to you.

Oh, you're welcome. Because you talked about it and then you got me to... You introduced the book to me, Think Like a Monk. Damn. That's going to be... Which, before we move on to our next topic, can I just bring up one quote that's changed my life? Please. Jay Shetty's a genius. He's... He is...

Truly unbelievable. Truly. With words. So this quote is a quote that I will take with me for the rest of my life. And there's not a lot of quotes that I can say that about, but I think it will be beneficial in every aspect of life. Okay, let's hear it. I love that. It is when I spend time with this. So think about like if you're in a new relationship, if you have a friend group, if you have a friend, anything. When I spend time with this person or group, do I feel like I'm getting closer or further away from the person I want to be?

And I was like, I literally was laying in bed and I was, I dropped my book and I was like, all my answers are answered or all my questions are answered. I was like, I went through every single person in my life.

And it also helped me grieve past relationships too. Are you happy about us? Yes. Oh my God. Yes. That's what was so, it made me so happy too. Cause I was like all my friends in New York make me want to be a better person. But then I thought about past relationships and I was like, they maybe didn't make me want to not be a good person, but they maybe were pushing me in a direction of not,

the person I strive to be on a daily basis. You and I especially, because this comes up a lot, are the emotionally poorest type. So a little bit...

we're not chameleons and we're getting, actually, I think we're both getting a lot less that way, but we can be around somebody and kind of be like, yeah, a little agreeable. It's a, that's a Midwest value by trade. Adapt to their lifestyle. You're like, okay, I'll do that a bit. But to be able to step back and say, okay, regardless of that, but how did I feel when I left them will probably tell you a lot of who your true self is. Yeah. And like, if you like,

ended a friendship or a romantic relationship, you might start to notice yourself going back to your old ways and it starts to feel really good. And then it reminds you like maybe that friendship or that relationship didn't serve me because it was not allowing me to be my true self or the person I wanted to be or become. And you can still say, I, of course, mourn that relationship and miss that. Yeah. But I wasn't me. Knowing now going forward, my future partner is going to be someone who helps push me in the direction of the person I want to be. And friends too. Yeah.

That's a good point. So, okay. So when you leave somebody, you're like, I feel worse going down. Maybe you felt the same. You're like not motivated, not unmotivated. Yeah. Or there's the person where you're like, they just lift, like if they lift you up. Yeah. That's probably your future person where you're like, I want to, I want to be around them because I feel like they're pushing me. And with friends too. Like, I think we all have friends who have taken us down a dark rabbit hole. Yes. And then we have friends who have really like motivated us and are like,

wow, they actually make me want to be a better person. Totally. Be more vulnerable. Be more... Sorry, that's my phone again. Be more... Like, maybe be more healthy or be more spontaneous like any of those. But I just read that and I was like...

Mine is blown. I love that. That's a wonderful takeaway. Great quote there, Jay. Thank you. Thank you. Quick pause to talk about kickoff. If you're ready for the next step in your life, which we often are on this podcast, whether it's buying a new car or moving into a different apartment or buying a house, the first step is to have a healthy credit score. Kickoff can help you take control of your credit score so this credit score doesn't get in the way of your goals. I used to...

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I love that. I don't know if I can drink champagne. Look at my, how red my face is getting. Looks cute. Looks like blush. Yeah. I don't, I think it looks redder in that. It does. I'm like, wait. Yeah. Then it does in person. Oh, did you make your dentist appointment? I did. I made my dentist appointment. Boy, did I ever hold up. I'll tell you about it. Yeah. Cause I, you know how often I think about that. How often I think about if you've made your dentist appointment. I did a live that night.

Everyone was like, did you go to the dentist? And I was like, wow. No, like Alex, I think about it every day. I went to the dentist. I have, I went to this Monday at one 30 this Monday. Yes. This past Monday I went at one 30. I have two cavities on this side.

And the pain though was coming from, I have a, I have an old cavity or not. Like I have a cap on my tooth, but it's moved down. So my, yeah. So there was a gap in there and there was, and she was like, do you eat a lot of vegetables? And I was like, yeah. And she, and she wedged it out. And I instantly, I was like, my gum D swelled. Yeah. But I have to get all that fixed. So amazing how, when you fix something like within the mouth, how instantly you can be relieved of pain.

And immediately she had to numb it to get it out. And when she did it, I was like, oh my God. And she said, it's just like, like the microbiomes or whatever from a vegetable, like the strings were just stuck.

And I was like, I do eat a lot of vegetables. And then did grandma smell your breath and it's not really good? I haven't seen him since then. Oh, maybe that's why your breath smell. No, it was fully because of the fibers. She's like fully your gum is swollen and you have shit stuck up there and you have a gap. Well, how you were talking, you were like piercing your mouth like in a weird way. It was like, I can tell. Stinky. Grandma's like your breath. And I was like, oh, and and my it's not it doesn't hurt anymore to touch it.

So yeah, that I needed to go. That's one of those things. It's just like go to the dentist. For me to actually go to the dentist means like it hurt. Yes. Yes. And also bad breath is like, I will go anywhere to fix that. The second he said that I was like done. Like I could be bleeding out of the mouth and I'm not going to go. But you tell me I have bad breath. Like on it. I'm like, I'll go. It's like pulling teeth to get me to go to the dentist. My breath or my downstairs smells. I will fix that immediately. Okay.

Without a doubt. Without a doubt. No question. Okay, should we do a listener question? Yes. Okay. Lorna? All right. Hit us with the Q and A. All right. This was a listener question. Not so much a listener question, but a little question. Oh, I'm excited. Okay. What's worse? Catching your partner holding hands with someone else or kissing someone else? Holding hands. That's a great question. Holding hands for sure. It's not close. No, because...

I know Alana's like kissing. Wait, is that what you're saying? Yeah. Like I just I get what you guys are fucking trying to get at. But did you hear me just curse for no reason? Because we had it. I had a glass of champagne. That was the stupidest fuck ever. I wasn't even fazed by it. I was like, I'm trying to practice. I get what you're getting at, the emotional connection thing. But like you're telling me if you didn't see your boyfriend slash husband like tonguing down someone else, you wouldn't like throw up.

I can, for some reason, I, I wince when I see them kissing. When I see them holding hands, my earth is shattered. My heart is out of my chest on the floor, stomped on staff. I'm distraught. I'm distraught. Intimacy is what is something that can, I think can destroy a marriage. Like physically cheating, physically,

we can maybe get through it because maybe it was like drunk or you guys had a sexless marriage or something was happening. But when you're intimate and emotional with another human being, you can't come back from that. And holding hands is the most intimate thing that you can do. It's almost, almost,

Almost sitting on the lap, but it's worse. It's not even the text messages that are emotional. I'm okay. I can't handle the hand. I can't handle the handhold. You know how there's like that one type of hug where you just feel, you actually feel the energy of that other human being. Like when you hug, have you ever hugged Mike or Graham and you feel them? It's like when you're sad and you need that hug and they're like, I've got you. It's like you feel their energy kind of like taking over.

That would if you saw that type of hug i'd be done I would be like we never can come back from this because you only feel that connection with people you really care about You think that's worse than like finding texts that are yeah And I can take I can take a peck in the club like back in the day when I was in college I pecked the probably the universe I never held hands with a guy. No ever. I never drunkenly was like let's hold hands in the corner ever Intimacy is just another level of cheating

Fully! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no, I can work through physical cheating if there's no emotional connection. It's so rare to find emotional connections with another human being. Think about how many you have. I'll peck you. I will not hold your hand. No. Tongue? No. No, they don't. Don't get crazy. Let me ask you guys this question. How many people... Is the number of people you've had sex with higher than the number of people you've had emotional connections with? I can say...

yes for me okay um define emotion do you believe this is like you love like you feel connected to that okay but are you're not counting a like a girl no i'm talking about uh men oh fully higher fully higher i hooked up with and had sex with and the number's not actually that high way more than emotional connections maybe three connections emotional same three full fully three same yes fully

I've connected with three human beings on this planet that are men. I think it's maybe even two. Yeah, but I've had sex with a lot more than three. And I don't even know all those people. I'd have to look at my list. A lot of people I've hooked up with too in the past, like in college. I never held their hand. And we could be hookup buddies. I don't remember...

remember half people's names i've had sex with that i've had sex with that many people i just they're irrelevant to me now but let me tell you i will remember every single man that i've connected with to the day i die i don't care if i meet my soulmate i will remember those three men one if you see them too you're like you'll go over and you'll talk like you'll talk to them or something but if you see somebody that you pecked in the clerbs you're like what's up anyways but if you like had an emote you're like oh yeah they'll live rent-free in your head forever yeah

It doesn't matter. Like, I genuinely think it's not like you're so obsessed with them, but they'll just like live there a little bit. Yeah, I will say I will say very barely, though. Yeah, like not like a ton, but like almost not at all. But I can recall them. Guys, I get what you're saying, but like, I don't know.

don't know i get what you're saying a kiss but like okay where are you imagining the hand holding like walking down the street with coffee on sunday morning and they're happy and laughing and holding hands and like okay his jacket on her okay i guess i was imagining them in the same place like a like a bar no no like okay i'm walking down the sidewalk turn the corner and they're

No, even if they're Sunday, they're having a Sunday morning walk. Oh, I would, I would literally jump in the Hudson, just drown. But even if they're in the same place, even if I put them in the club, even if it's 4am in the club and I look over and he pecks her and then, or if I look over and he's walking, holding her hand on the way out, I'm distraught on the handhold. You know that like cutesy, like drunk hold hands you do with the guy you like. Like, can you imagine that where you're just like, your hands are like intertwined and it's like, you're so cute. You're so cute. And I'll be like,

No, no. Like you're connect. Like you're the energy's flowing back and forth. Like guys don't respect every girl they kiss, but they respect some, most of the time the girls they hold hands with. I'm really not a good point. Jordan really making me destroy. I'm getting real upset right now. That is a good point. Yeah. Like guys don't just hold hands with girls. Remember when Justin Timberlake was caught holding that girl's hands under the table? I was, I'm, I was far more upset about that than I was, um,

the maroon five guy. Oh yeah. I don't remember Adam. Under the table, he's holding the girl's hand and he, he was in the movie with her and it's like they're holding hands. That's the high, that's like a good morning text to me. Also, when you're in a relationship with someone, you can have the physical connection all day, every day. But when you have that emotional connection, it's just on a whole nother level.

Handhold is... Handhold is a slap in the mother trucking face. Yeah. I couldn't get over it. I couldn't. I'd be like, you love her. I'm done. And if there was text to accompany that handhold, I am a basket case. The text would kill me. I'm distraught. The text would...

like i would suffocate that that's just time yeah that's like the story i told you guys yesterday i was walking down the street and i saw this i would assume a couple walking down the street together and he you know when you have your hand out when you're next someone next to someone you like you kind of like keep it there you like brush it you're like okay i want to hold your hand and she like wouldn't give in to him and it was breaking my heart and she he literally or she sorry she like

He was like, I want to hold your hand. And she literally just like gave him a high five. And like that broke my heart because I was like, you just denied this man intimacy, emotional connection and another human being's touch. I'm going to cry. But I'm okay. For some reason, that story to make myself feel better. I imagine. But like if it was like she dodged a kiss, I'd be like, ha ha ha. But I agree with that. Yes, that's a great point. If she dodged a kiss, you're like, okay, she doesn't want to kiss. But the hand told. But I'm pretending...

He did something to deserve that because I can't imagine in what scenario. I could be very mad at Graham and I will hold his hand. Same. Especially in public. Yes. I'm like, okay, that's cute. I'm in. It's the hand total on it. It's not close. I get what you're saying for sure. It's really sad. I think what you're talking about, like what it symbolizes. Yes. Yes. No, I'm just really upset. No, me too. I haven't held that many guys hands in the past year. I've held hands with two men. Oh, two men.

In the past year. How many guys have I had sex with? You don't need to know that. But held hands, two men. Yeah, I think, I do think hand-holding, two. Now, yeah, no, I agree. I agree. I agree. And one of them is, I don't even remember. I mean, astronaut.

Furniture. The sofa. It's like the sofa. You don't really even know he's there. Oh, yep. So can we all agree? The hand holding? I don't know if she's agreeing. Imagine Mike walking down the street on a Sunday morning. His jacket is over this beautiful blonde girl. They're holding hands. They're laughing. Sorry. You're because you're Burnett. They're laughing. She has Mike's jacket on and they're holding hands and looking like they're in love. No, I would.

jump in the i would kill my i would jump in the hudson yeah versus like in the club mike just like makes out the girl but he's like i thought i was in the same place kind of like holding your hand in the club like at the bar like i don't know yeah you're at common ground and mike just quick makes out the girl and then like leaves her and then it's like oh i don't even remember what i did that like obviously horrible but easier it was like sunday morning okay the the only thing that's tripping me up now is

to really equate them, I have to put them both in the same spot. So I put them both in the club and then I put them both on a Sunday morning. No, it's still the handhold. It's the handhold. Why is the Sunday so intimate?

Well, because I don't think you're, you're not, you're not doing anything on a Sunday. Like I can't do a Tuesday morning. It's like, we're going to work and like, you're just not, you're not, you didn't shack on a Monday night. Like you shacked on a Sunday or you shacked on a Saturday. So that's why I think we're on Sunday morning going to a bagel. It's the problem with stereotypes. I mean, we fully have that in our head. Saturday morning, same things apply. And you don't get a bagel after you shack with someone that you don't like. No, you went home in an Uber. Yeah. And you're walking. Yeah.

no that's a painful that's painful if it's club make out or sunday morning handhold it yeah i agree totally agree put them both put them both in a club put them both on a sunday morning in the handhold wind still holy because it like it burns to imagine burns i can't actually can we actually makes me feel sick i want to don't want to talk yeah i'd be down to move on would you punch someone in the face yes i'd punch him what would you do if you saw that walking down the street

I would go up to him and slap him. Him, not her. Yeah, it's not her fault. It's his fault. It's got nothing to do with her. I think I would go, I need to do that.

I would go batshit crazy. I don't even know if I'd give him the satisfaction of that. You know, I listened to the song today and it said, what's worse to be jealous or crazy? And I'm like, jealous. Being crazy is not that bad. Oh no, I would fully rather be crazy because jealous sucks for you. Yeah. And at that point, crazy sucks for everyone else. That's fine. And maybe you deserve it, but jealous doesn't feel like there. What's a worse feeling than feeling jealous inside of you? Nothing. It's the worst feeling in the entire world. So that never that.

I'd rather be physically hurt. Physically, I would rather you break my nose than I would feel jealous. Fully. Fully. Like being crazy, like it's not a problem for you. It's a problem for them. Yeah. And like, I don't think crazy hurts you. Crazy is a little bit difficult to manage in the brain, but you're not like, I don't want to feel this. You're like, I don't really know any different. Yeah. Jealousy. You're like, I hate me for this. Being jealous is a...

horrible feeling. I think it's the worst emotion. One of them, for sure. Yeah, I mean, sadness. That would suck too, but... Yeah. Jealous? Disappointment. Verse crazy? Disappointment's sad. But jealous. Jealous. It's a very popular song. Everyone will know what it is. It's like, would you rather... It's better to be...

I think they actually say jealous than crazy. Oh, rhymes. Yeah. But I think it's better to be crazy than jealous. If we're personally picking, not how it affects everyone else. No. No, jealousy affects everyone else way worse too. Jealous is the worst one. Yeah. Because crazy usually just like crazy to that one person. Well, why are you crazy? Isn't it because you're jealous?

No, it's because a man turned you crazy. Or like your parents turned you crazy. Like somebody turned you crazy. You had screws loose. Also, I feel like crazy is one of those things where you're not actually... Like it'll fade. Like jealousy takes a long time to fade. Oh, yeah. If it ever does. Some people are jealous of another individual their whole life. But crazy, it's like, that'll go away. Jealousy can definitely fade though. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But some people are jealous of like this one person their whole life. Yeah. But like crazy, usually you grow out of the crazy. Yeah. But there's nothing better than where I remember feeling jealous right out of college of one person. And I immediately was like, I will work through that to make sure I never feel that again, because that is awful.

awful. Yeah, I don't tend to get jealous, especially in relationships because I've like taught myself. It's like if they really don't want to be with you, like they're not worth your time type of thing. And also no one's better than me. So that's what I teach myself. I know it might not be right, but that's the way it helps me. But like

I have been jealous in my past and it's destroyed me. It's there is no and it has everything to do with you. Every the earlier people learn jealousy is only about them. The happier you'll be in life. Most emotions are when you really think of it's crazy. Sure is crazy. Crazy is also has to do with you. Oh, yeah. Actually, I firmly believe people make you crazy. But sadness is often not you.

No, that that's a lot of times an exterior factor. Yeah. Disappointment, probably you because of your standards. Sadness is a is a firsthand emotion. So usually something else is affecting you to be or making you be sad, like disappointment or like exhaustion or fear or anger. Yeah. Yeah. Jealousy is disappointment. Worst. All right. Maybe you do want to do what you do best.

You guys, happy one year to us. Happy one year. Cheers again. Cheers. Another cheers, darling. Cheers. Another. Cheers. To the one years. And one more down or one more to go. But I'm joking about that. One down. One more episode to go. One more to go. It was a fun 2023. If you're not already, follow us on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram.

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