Is Social Media Ruining Your Relationship? ft. Feitelberg
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But if you like them, will you like their picks? Yeah, unless I fucking...

Let's get high school with it. Unless I like like you. Yeah! I told you that yesterday. If I just like you as a person, yeah, I like your pic. But if you like like them. If I like like you, I'm definitely not commenting like fire emojis or anything like that. Yeah. But, uh... Let's be real. You won't like the pic if you really like them. I probably won't, but also if I'm at the bar alone and get a couple bevvies in me, maybe that's getting DM'd to you going, damn. We're your besties in your ear for another episode of Meat Girl Pod. Mwah!

Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod and happy February. Yes, oh my goodness, tis the season. The worst but best month ever because it's the worst because it's February but the best because it's the shortest.

And it's nice because I feel like now we're in it. Gone are the holidays. Gone is the New Year thing. Everyone that did sober January or whatever, that's over. I feel like now we can get back to business as usual and we can stop with all the riffraff. You know what's interesting? I know February is the shortest month of the year, but it's only the shortest by two days. But those two days change everything. I had no idea it was the shortest month.

None. Alex Bennett, you're killing me. You know what I've realized? Yellowstone taught me this. Well, I'm watching the... Is prequel the one before? Yes. Okay, I'm watching the prequel. Oh, is that new? I didn't even know they had a prequel. It's called 1883. Yeah. And they...

They were like, what day is it? And somebody's like, it might be Thursday. And I thought, how cool. Back then, days didn't define them. Like our Friday to us means something significant. But to them, it's just 24-hour blocks of sun. Like truly the sun and the...

nighttime, that's all it's defined by. But for us, I'm like a Saturday is such a Saturday. Yeah. You know, it's funny because when I worked in corporate, I definitely lived for the weekends, like Monday through Thursday, actually Monday through Wednesday. It was kind of like blah. Thursday through Saturday were great. But now since living in New York,

I don't feel like our days are so defined where it's not like I'm like, I need it to be Friday right now. I need to be Saturday. I'm kind of like cool with all the days because New York is just alive every day. Yeah. I was thinking about that too. I was like, don't let the days define you as much. But I think the weekends, like you, we just can sleep in on this. Like, I feel like I can sleep in on a Saturday. Yeah. And I'm like, that's so funny. Like they didn't even know what day it was. But to us, like a Saturday, such a Saturday. Yeah.

Okay, so my days of the week are changing. I used to love a Thursday, love Tuesday for a bit. Now I'm really loving Sunday. I'm with you. I love because lately I've made no plans on a Sunday. So I sleep in. I refuse to get out of bed. I binge watch Netflix. I take my ice roller. I take those eye patches. I put them on. I order a bagel. I just sit there all day.

My Sundays have become very social. Oh. I'm doing it different because I used to use Sunday as such a structured reset day. Yeah. And then I learned to almost like resent it. You have a Sunday fun day. Yeah. Now I'm like, oh, I'll do something fun on a Sunday. I love that. Especially if you have like a quieter Friday and Saturday, which I know you don't always. I don't. Sometimes I do. I didn't this past weekend. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you do? Well, before I tell you what I did, since January's over and we're into February, it doesn't matter what month it is. It doesn't matter what season it is. One thing that always stays the same with Mean Girl Pod is that we drink Pink Whitney because the show is sponsored by the one, the only Pink Whitney. So head to your local bar today and order a round of Pink Whitney shots. Shoot your shot. Shout out. The shoot your shots, like...

They just make me emotional. No, they're honestly one of my favorite things to read. Yeah, because everybody I feel... What's going... What? What's the problem? No, I got so lucky. What? Because you didn't spill your coffee on you? So I just drank a sip of coffee, you know, when it's really full and it kind of has like that splash back and it spills. Yes. It missed me by a millimeter on my ivory Miro Podspot set. And it... It's...

It's not on me. That's amazing. Also head over to YouTube so you can see what color she's wearing. It's ivory. I'm wearing pink. I dress for Valentine's Day.

I love Valentine's Day. Tell me about your weekend. Okay, so this weekend, what happened? Okay, Graham was gone Friday night. So I went to dinner with some girls. And then after dinner, we were like, let's go out. Jordan's wiping her coffee stain with a diaper, with an adult Depends. Why do we even have diapers? Wait, where did she get that? That makes total sense. It's probably really absorbent. Ew.

Ew. Oh my God, that looks really scary. I don't know if that's the dirt from the coffee or dirt from this chair. I don't want to know. Yeah. When we got in here, there was crumbs in this chair and I was like, come on. I'm sorry for distracting you. Fraternity. Okay, I went to, okay, so I did something I haven't done in a very long time.

And I watched the sunrise, which I love to do in Las Vegas. I'm not big on it anywhere else. Actually, I don't mind doing it here. Okay, let me just explain this to you. So we, by the way, guys, didn't sleep last night for some reason. So we're being a little crazy. Like, for real, didn't sleep. Some people are like, I feel like I didn't sleep. It's like, no, just like... I...

I would have rather had a full eight hours. So when you can't fall asleep, at what point do you like give up trying to get up? I never, you know, like what hour mark are you like? It's not going to happen. I'm just going to go like in the living room. No, never. Usually I don't. I did. I finally surrendered to that last night and it was about two hours of staring at the ceiling, but it was like body ache and,

And my mind was racing. And so in order to stop my mind from racing, I needed to do something else. So I had to get on my phone. I am so anti-screen time. Oh, sorry. I always give up to my phone. I thought you meant like getting out of bed and like. You don't sleep with your phone in the bed. No. No. I'm beginning that tonight. Wait, Alana, what? What? You sleep with your phone in your bed with you?

I'm caressing it like a teddy bear. No, Alana. No, it needs to be away from you. Are you serious? Especially for electromagnetic currents. Okay, I remember that. My grandma would say I'd go infertile if I slept with my phone in my bed. Why do you do that? I have anxiety about getting a call. I know. In the middle of the night. I don't know. What if I miss something? It's not about I need to scroll. It's like what if something happens and I miss it? Like...

Okay, that, I feel that. And sometimes I'm like, if I don't turn my phone over, but then I think back to 1970 and I'm like, that's anxiety they weren't familiar with. Or 1989? Or what's the time? 1883. They didn't have anything. They were riding horses. But I'm like, they never, when somebody died, like,

That's morbid. I'm assuming that's what you mean by a call. Yes. Yeah. Anything. Anything. And it's just like... A meteor? Yes. There's a fire. I don't know. A fire? Yeah. Yeah. So I live in the smallest room in New York City, and I don't have a nightstand, but I have...

bins under my bed where I keep my clothes but they roll so what I do is I keep one of those bins and put my phone on it but I roll it far enough under my bed where my arm can't reach it if I'm laying down so I actually have to like move my body out of bed and like kind of work at it to get it so sometimes I'll be like I almost got it and I give up and I'm like it's it's the universe telling you not to touch your phone it's a really good boundary yeah it doesn't always work but it does the job at

at some points. Yeah. Grant Graham does that. He keeps, he puts his phone far away. So when his alarm goes off, he has to get up to get it and he can't check it in the middle of the night. But this morning when his alarm went off, I was like, so excited. It was like four 49 and I was like 11 more minutes. And then it went off in, I was like, good morning.

And he was like, no. Like, he was like, I need to wake up. You were in the bed? I was in the bed. Have you seen, and I kept trying to think of the meme. Have you seen She's the Man? Yes. And Eunice, when she's like, I made breakfast. I was like, it took me like five minutes. I was like, who am I thinking of? And I was like, I'm thinking of Eunice. That was so funny. I was dying. It was.

I was so happy when he got up because I was like, I have a friend now, but he was like, no, no, no. Like I just got up, you know, you have to let them wake up. Yes. And that, and I was just staring at him in the middle of the night. The real morning people. Yeah. Like he's like, I got new neighbors.

Oh. It's bad. They don't have curtains and they stay up really late and so their light shines into my and I don't like them at all. They have weight racks in their living room and I have to stare at it. Oh, I'm sorry. Like neighbors from across the way, not in your building. Like window neighbors. Window neighbors. Oh, those are the worst. It's a squat rack in the middle of the living room. Games. I know. Do they just work out during the day and you can watch them? I haven't seen them use it once.

Wait, no, that's actually the funnier part of it. I looked over and I was like, somebody else moved in. The light situation would really piss me off, though. It's so bright. I have to turn over to one to like the other side. Yeah, I actually thought about that the other day. You're sleeping. I hate lights like I'm someone who's.

very affected by light when I sleep. So my roommate could turn on the hallway light and it would somehow wake me up. And I was thinking, like, Alex has these beautiful windows in her apartment, but I couldn't remember if you had curtains or blinds to help you keep the light out. So I have them on one window in my bedroom and I have them in the box for the other window. But when Graham was drilling the stud through the wall, the nail broke and

And so we've been there a year, over a year and a half, and we just haven't put them up. But we're going to have to because these new neighbors, they're night owls. Like I watched and I had woken up and they were still awake.

Maybe that light is what kind of kept you up last night. Could be. Could be. It could be. Yeah. Well, anyways, what did you do this weekend? Oh, yeah, right. Whoa. Speaking of light, you were up till the sunrise. Okay, so I went... After dinner, I went to this birthday party. And it was very... Like, basically, long story short...

Because Graham was gone and I was with these girls. We went out until three. Then we went back to my apartment and had a dance party. Ordered Taco Bell twice. Why twice? Because we got it once and then I was like, that was so good. We need to get it again. It was so... I haven't had Taco Bell. What can you eat there? What did you get? I can't eat anything there. I ate Doritos Locos Taco. Un-freaking-believable. Have you ever had a Doritos Locos Taco? Yeah, but I can eat cheese. I know. I had a bean burrito too with cheese in it.

Didn't hit me until Sunday. It was great. I got Saturday off. Oh, shit. It was nice. I was like, ooh, I'm going to get this one. And then Sunday morning, I was like, no, I'm not. Did anyone have a Crunchwrap Supreme? Or the Fiesta Potatoes? Oh, my gosh. We had a Crunchwrap Supreme. Have you ever had a walking taco? Yes. They're called Taco in a Bag in Minnesota. You were the Doritos? Mm-hmm. Or Fritos, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Those are good. They're so good. They were a big graduation party thing.

because it's easy to give them like a bag of Doritos, throw the taco meat in there, put some lettuce and sour cream, be like, eat your food. That's cute. It was really good. They're huge in Minnesota. We do those at football games, but I saw on a show you can do a Frito chili pie in a Frito bag. Also a great idea. From where? Well, they were eating it in Paris, Texas. But think about that. This one's incredible. Frito pie. Wait, what was your favorite lunch growing up at school?

French toast sticks. At school? French toast sticks? Yeah. For lunch? Yeah. At school for lunch is French toast sticks? What? Yeah. We never had that. Or a chicken patty on a bun.

That was the best with some mayo, some ketchup. Do you know that I had chicken patty in a bun every day for a whole year when I was in 10th grade? We had chicken patty in a bun, but that was on Tuesdays. I specifically remember. Well, when I was in high school, I would go to the a la carte line and get it every day. Mini corn dogs. We had mini corn dogs. Yeah. But our best day was Frito chili pie Thursday with a cinnamon roll.

Unbelievable, right? But they only had that. We Alex. So what'd you do this week? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So anyways, I got Taco Bell. We had a dance party. I stayed up till 6 a.m. And then I had a friend spend the night and it was so much fun. She got up and left at noon and Graham got home at one. And I felt like my life flashed for my eyes. Like she knows Graham because like she's from Oklahoma. So like they go way back.

And it was so funny because like she left and I was like, there goes the night. And then in strolled Graham an hour later. And I was like, I feel like I just lived two different lives. Cause Graham, I can picture like,

heard like almost the walk of shame home gram coming in with like a suit and tie yeah exactly what it was i was like okay and then i was like you know yeah gram like gets and i the place was destroyed like we had champagne everywhere like just tacos everywhere so i was like cleaning it and then he got home and i was like this is so like i was telling him about it obviously like sending him photos and i was like this is life

That's the beauty of New York, too. That's what it was. I'm never hungover in New York because the energy is just electric. So I was like, I'm fine. Okay, what did you do? Oh, I drank wine the whole night and I wasn't hungover at all. Well, that goes back to what we said about the full bottle. Two glasses will get you masked up. If you have a full bottle of wine, you're good to go. Well, but you can still be hungover, I feel like. I feel like I've tapped the hangover thing. No hangovers if I don't drink hard alcohol.

Okay, but we need to know from our listeners. So I'm a firm believer that wine makes me puffy. And Alex is a firm believer that hard liquor makes her puffy. I need to know what makes you guys puffy. One shot of vodka. I wake up the next day and I'm like, do you think it's because it's so gluten heavy?

Does wine have gluten in it? Some do, some don't. Some vodkas have gluten, some don't. Maybe it's because vodka is like very wheat heavy. Yeah, it makes me so puffy. Interesting, because wine makes me puffy. I wake up and I look like I aged five years. Really? Yeah, it's bad. What about champagne? I don't drink it enough to know. Yeah. I've only had it like twice with you. How was your weekend? It was good. You got a DM from somebody. Yeah.

And you were like, bro. So no free ads. So this company that is an eyepatch brand that Alex loves and got me hooked on it and got pretty much like the whole, every girl I know is hooked on it because of you. But they won't DM us. But they won't DM us. Alex has DMed them a few times. But on Friday, I went to this party, but we were drinking at like 730 and it was like midnight. And you know when you're just drinking and all of a sudden it just hits you, you hit that wall and you're like,

I can make two decisions right now. I can go home and just go home or I can continue this night and I don't know what my future holds. I could go home and go home to be awesome. So I chose the going home route. And before I decided to go home, I was like, well, I have to get pizza. So I was legitimately blacked out. I went to this pizza place near me.

And at this time, I don't remember anything that happened. Fast forward two days later, I'm going on my Instagram and I see this DM from this eye patch company that, and I'm like, why are they DMing me? I was shook. So I read it and she was like, Jordan, it was so great to meet you at the pizza place, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what? And I'm like, I, I'm

I'm like, what is this pizza place? I'm like Googling the name of the pizza place because I don't even know the local pizza place by me. And then it all came back to me. I went to this pizza place that I go to almost every weekend and I had like just two slices of pie and this girl came up to me and she's like, I love Mean Girl Pot. I know you and Alex love the eye patches. Can we send you stuff? And I'm like, yeah, sure.

And I'm just there alone with my pizza. She's there with her boyfriend, I think. And I'm just like living my best life. With your pizzas. With my pizzas. Great DM to get, though. Great DM. That was fun. I'm like, okay, good job. Yeah. What would you give to be able to see yourself through clear eyes in that scenario? Yeah.

I don't know if I'd want to see myself. I know. That's also a good point. I'm like, because I'm so animated when I'm drunk. I probably was like, uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. It's either that or it's like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to meet you. I was like, I got to get out of here though. Because I'm fucked up. It's so wonderful. I have to go bye. Even one of those nights where I got out of bed and I looked at my garbage and I'm like, ah, I got pizza last night. And I don't have like a lot of blackout moments. It was just...

It was just an emotional day for me. That's so fair. You can have your emotional day. But yeah, it was fun. It was a great weekend. It wouldn't be an episode if your mic didn't fall. No, no. Would you marry... I saw this on something. But would you marry the person you lost your virginity to, yes or no? No. Okay. Would you? No.

Well, no, that's hard for me to answer because like I married to somebody that that's not that person. But like, would I marry them? Like, could I live with? Yeah, fully. So he's a nice guy. He was great. Mine was he was an asshole to me in high school. He's a nice I think he's like a really nice guy now. But he was such a dick to me in high school. So no, I've been thinking about that statement right there. Um,

He was a dick then, but now he's a really nice guy. And not carrying the baggage with you. Letting the past stay in the past. But then I'm like, do I give everybody that pass? I think if you're a dick in high school, it's fine. I think if you're a dick when you're in your early 20s, it's fine. But if you're a dick after 25, it's like, grow the fuck up and be a man. Or a woman. Yeah.

Yes. Also, I think too, I was talking to my friend about this the other day. Some of these guys that have had their real asshole stages, it's so good because they need to get it out. Every guy is going to burst at some point, I think. And I would so much rather it be in high school or early college. You have your shithead phase and then it's like you start to grow up. That to me seems like the normal trajectory. I'm afraid of the guys that are like,

Always been nice. You know, people are like, he was always the nicest guy. It's like, well, when is he going to have the dickhead, like, act out face? I'm worried about that. Two things. One, I know it's so funny because, like, obviously I date guys around my age and...

Right.

Okay, I don't think it should be coined dickhead phase. I think it should be coined everybody has a wild stage. I think girls and guys. Oh, yeah. I think all of us have a stage where we're wild or act out in some degree. Oh, yeah. I've seen... Whoa! Hi! Come on in! Ride on the money! Yeah, of course! You're so cute! You can sit in my seat. I'm going to sit by Alex.

You guys all look very good too. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Quick pause to talk about this year. C4 Energy is stepping up its commitment to support you on your fitness journey and is looking for 100 people willing to give 100%. That's awesome.

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I think I would go to the link in the YouTube description.

All righty. Hey, Feidelberg. What's up, girls? How you doing? So if you guys don't know Fights, he does KFC radio. We've been on their show a lot, but you haven't joined us yet. No. Thank you. I'm happy to have the invite. Thank you very much. A little different situation. Second person ever to have the invite, actually. Really? Jeff D'Lo and then you. Mike. Third. Oh, third. Yeah, yeah. That was rude. And Graham. But no, well, we've had guests, but like I'm saying like a co-worker that we've pulled in. Jeff, Mike, you. Yes. Okay. Yes. Yes. All right. I'll take two, three.

Two. Three. Three. Three. Kind of two. Mike would have been anyways. Because Graham was. Like, we were doing Significant Others. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, he was more of a Significant Other, not a co-worker. Yeah. I didn't know who we were talking about because I called Mike Grinnell. I was like, I don't know who the fuck Mike is. He has many names. But he was on. But people would be like, hey, John. They're like, who's John? Yeah, right. Yes, yes.

So we need your expertise. Well, we're assuming you're going to have expertise. It's kind of a compliment. Okay. Because we're talking about guys. Like, we know about girls following guys on social media. But we need some help in tapping into the brain of guys following girls, liking photos, things like that. Oh, wow.

You then let me tell you what you came to the wrong person. You came to like the impossibly wrong person. No, you're the right person. You have a large social media following and you like girls. So you're the right person. All right. Like, but here's the deal. But like, I, I actually, so way back in the day with Barstool, like we said, we had like guests that ass and posts like that. And, and in those days it was ridiculous. Yeah. Um,

It was something. But every day at noon, we had to post someone's ass. And then you'd have to click the link and the picture would expand. It would no longer just be an ass. And so at that stage, which is probably eight years ago now, nine years ago, my social media was just flooded with chicks. It was nonstop bikini, IG thoughts, yada, yada, yada.

And when I no longer had to post Guess That Ass, I was like, I'm cleaning this. I couldn't even open my social media in public. It was that over the top. It was too aggressive. I would have had more luck opening like browsers than I would have like an Instagram post. Were you single at the time?

In and out of relationships. Do they ever care? No. I mean, it would work. It's like, you know, porn stars don't care when they're in a relationship and they fuck other people. It was kind of like a, I'm posting other people on the internet thing. And so I was like, I'm cleaning it up. Like, I can't fucking have just...

ass and tits everywhere. And, uh, and now by, by fucking social media is going the exact other way. Now it's all stand up and I, I don't like it at all, but it both sucked. I'd like some kind of happy medium. Um, but I also never liked pictures. I like never liked pictures. Okay. That was our biggest question. We want to know why guys feel the need to like, um,

Instagram models or other girls' pictures on Instagram when they have a girlfriend. Never in a million years. If you get over 20,000 likes per post, I don't give a shit. Unless I know you personally. And with people here, I like their posts and stuff like that. Although people here, I'll never like a co-worker's bikini picture. You can't. That shit's not happening. Because you're like, that's weird. Fight's like turf photo. Okay.

No, proceed. No, I'm saying like, I see that happen sometimes. And I'm like, I know we're all friends, but like, we're also coworkers. Why are you liking certain people's sexual pictures on Instagram? Yeah. Do they not know?

Sometimes I'll get caught if there's something in a photo dump because I won't even fucking scroll the photo dump. But if the cover photo is fine, I'm like, all right, that's a cute picture, blah, blah, blah, move on. But no, there are plenty of coworkers here who are posting bikini pics. No, I'm not liking that shit. Okay, wait. Here's my question, though. If we went to your Instagram right now, I wish we would have done this before. We're going to do it after, and looked at who you follow. Yeah, let's do it right now. Do you follow girls on it that you think are cute, though?

that I think are cute, like professional girls, so to speak. I guess they could be... IG models and things like that. Famous or not. They have a following or not. Well, because yesterday when we were talking... Only if they have a following. I don't even follow my friends. Okay, so you would follow hot girls. I don't really use Instagram. I'm the worst person you could have pulled in. No, you gave a great answer to the first one. But it's also kind of like the average guy. I don't know.

Yeah, not really thinking too much about it. We're not really Instagram people. Yeah. Guys here in particular. Right. But mostly the male population is not like, what's up? Here's my picture. I basically post like show clips. So you don't use it like to look at hot girls? No. Okay. I use porn for that. I'm an adult man. I can do that stuff. Totally. Totally.

Okay, when it comes to... I don't know. Here, you guys can look through my following. I don't know how to look for whatever you want. Well, because I think it's okay when guys follow the Kendall Jenners of the world, the Hailey Biebers, the unattainable, but it's so weird when guys follow the mid-tier girl of the 10K to 5K to 10K. I'm like, why are you following them? You could have a shot with them. Why are you following them if you have a girlfriend? Where do you even find that person, so to speak? Okay.

I don't know. All right. Well, you find out. She maybe lives in West Manhattan. Like from home. Okay. So you follow her like as a friend. So it's people that if he follows them and they fall back, it doesn't count because they're friends. It's like the ones that he would just follow that don't follow him back. So why do you feel the need to follow these like hot girls? Oh, no, they're friends. I love her.

It was Raina Greenberg. I love her. Yeah, you're friends with most of these people. Like, mutual. How'd you even limit my girl followers? Yeah, I know her. How did you? Or are they all just girl followers? No, I'm just selecting the girls. Okay, here's one. Yeah, I know her very well. That's the other girl you just showed me, her sister. So he's good. He has a good track record. Well, I don't... Okay, so if you're talking to a girl...

You passed the test. I passed the test, all right. But I would actually say I think it's fine either way. Like, if somebody's like, yeah, I use social media. Like, of course I follow hot girls. I think that's fabulous. Or not, where you're just like, I just literally use it to post clips and, like, I just kind of scroll and I use porn for the other stuff. Okay, it's only fabulous, though, if it's, like, pre-me. Like, if they just start following all these hot girls once they're in a relationship with me, I'd be a little bit offended. Oh, well, he's single, though. I am, yes. No, I'm saying if he had a girlfriend. Oh, yeah. But I also, I don't, but it's not...

But I guess you're kind of on track because you get offended by porn too, right? No. Everyone just listened to the fucking clips. No one listened to the episode. I forget we talk about these things. How do we know that? I'll give you the thing. If I'm home, I'm in the room next door. If I'm there...

I think it's weird if he's jacking off behind this wall. Oh, okay. That's more understandable. I do that too. Like I'm right. I hello. And I'm like willing, able participant. But like there's sometimes where it's like, this, this isn't a you thing. This is just like,

I have a medical situation. I need to fucking take care of this as fast as I can. I don't want to do the whole caboodle, the whole, the pomp and circumstance. Like, I want to fucking clear my head real fast and get to work. And I think you should clear it. And clear the head. But if I'm married to you and I'm sitting here, I think I would prefer if you hit me up. I understand. There are many situations in which I would not. But I do get it. It is, it's...

It's like, I don't know. I'm trying to think of how I could describe it. But I guess it's like sometimes you just need a beer alone at the bar. And other times you want to vent to your buddies and you want to tell stories at the bar.

Sometimes I just need a beer alone and it's just me time. Are you equating that to... That's when I'm masturbating, when I'm alone. Oh, no. And you know what that is? I feel like it kind of is the same thing if they do follow... That's not about you as much anymore. If you need the beer alone at the bar or if you need to jack off or something like that for a medical... Whatever it is, clear your head. I'm like, that doesn't really have anything to do with me. No, correct. Also, it feels more to do with you. When people are single for a really long time, that's all we know.

It would be really hard to go from that to never being able to do that. I feel like it was taken out of...

Like I feel like the scenario you were referring to was the clip, but then you see the other part. Yeah, but now I see the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I can understand that. That is tough. It's a lot more to it. It's nuanced. It turns out everything can't fit into 60 seconds. Okay, back to social media. What about, do you ever view people's stories? I almost exclusively view stories. Okay, but do you have a preference on like how you do it or do you like? I don't really view them though.

You'll get my view, but I didn't really watch it. The phone is like a thumb treadmill for me. I'm kind of just tapping, tapping, tapping. Okay, but if you like a girl, are you going to make sure you view her story consistently? No. You don't care? I don't have anyone I follow who I like. Okay, can you pretend that you like somebody? Would you view their story more? Sure.

No, I am. I'll like eat whatever's put in front of me. So like I just, I started the first one. I tapped it until I get bored and then I'm done. Because Jordan thinks the context is that Jordan is like one of the people that like if she posts a story, she looks if the guy that she likes like viewed it and it means something to her. Uh,

I've heard that tale before. I can't say. Again, I think I'm a bad example. I think there are certainly guys who are doing that. I'm not one. Because I would be more apt to not view your story. Oh, why? Please. Like, that's interesting. Because then I think you're like, why isn't he viewing my story? And then there's a little cat mouse gay thing. I'm not. I don't play games, guys. I love games.

games. See, I'm like you. If I like a guy, I won't be there, so I'll make my friend view it for me, and I'll never look at it. Alright, I'll take that extra step. Well, I still want to know what they're doing, but I'm not going to look at it. So I get that. That's interesting. I don't think you're an anomaly. I think you're like most guys. I think...

I thought about this a lot last night before we talked about it. I think the relationship guys have with social media is not that serious. I think a lot of them are a little bit more like, I don't know. I think that depends. Like around here, I would disagree with that. But I think probably most guys, I think most guys, like, yeah, it's not that big a deal. I can't speak for everybody, but I think that in my friend group, my close friends outside of work, I don't think any of them use social media at all.

That's nice. I'm older. Right. But the... I don't think anyone uses it. What about liking girls' pics? But if you like them, will you like their pics? Yeah. Unless I fucking... Let's get high school with it. Unless I like, like... Yeah! I thought I got that yesterday. If I just like you as a person, yeah, I'll like your pic. But if you like, like... If I like, like you... I'm definitely not commenting, like, fire emojis or anything like that. Yeah. But, uh...

But there's like, yeah, I'll... Let's be real. You won't like the pic if you really like them. I probably won't, but also if I'm at the bar alone and get a couple bevvies in me, maybe that's getting DM'd to you going, damn. No, but that's another thing. Like, guys, once you start talking to a guy, they stop liking your pics. And I'm like, this is them trying to prove a point. I do the same thing.

If I were questioning a guy, I'm not liking their picks anymore. It is. Look, I'll be honest. I'm tough but fair with my likes. Okay. If...

I give a like I genuinely like it I'm like ah you're right you put a little effort in that pic that's a solid picture right there so if you like her and she did a good photo you will like it yeah I won't like some bullshit post okay I won't like some fucking thing you threw up from last summer but if you took some effort had a little picture yeah and she deserves the like you'll get it you earned it you get it okay if you're playing games with this girl that you really like you might skip that pic just to see if it's an earned one to get it's a and it's a well thought out one what are you doing that's a good scenario

It's well thought out when I'm liking it. And you like her. You have a crush on her. Like in front of a nice building with some good architecture, nice jacket maybe blowing in the wind. Yeah. Woohoo! Yeah. I love a winter pick. Long, big, long scarf. Come on. Does she get a comment from you? No, I don't really comment that much.

Okay, so if you're commenting, what's that scenario? That's intense. That's like boyfriend-girlfriend. On a girl's picture? I don't know if I ever have. Okay. Yeah. A friend. I'll comment on work pictures. Honestly, probably not even work girls. Probably just work guys. I'm like, let's go. That's about it. That's all guys do. Let's go.

Okay, if there's a girl that you think is really hot and you don't really know her that well, but like, you know, she knows you exist and you know, she exists. You don't have her phone number and you want to get her attention on social media. How are you doing it? Oh, good question. A reply to an IG story.

Okay, so you're going to the story, not the post. Not the post. Will you ever like fire or like an IG story to get their attention? Yes, that's it. It won't be like a word reply. It'll be some kind of emoji. One of the six options that they give us. Whatever it is. And you'll send that and see if she hits you back. Correct. Are you ever looking at who likes your photos or views your story? No.

I mean, I have in the past. It's not a regular thing, but it's yeah, it'll happen. Let's say once I want to view story. No, absolutely not. OK, hard post one out of four pictures. And I don't I probably post four pictures a year. So and you're not I'm not looking at who likes like my fucking KFC radio posts. I don't care about that. If you do an in-feed photo of you and you look at who likes it, one of your one of four in the year. Why are you looking at the likes?

Because I knew I looked fucking fire. You want to see who liked it? Like what kind of scoundrel wasn't like this? I know it's a great picture. I know I took a great picture. Dude, the picture I'm describing, the fucking big long coat in front of beautiful architecture, I just took that picture. That's why I wanted it up. That's me. So are you looking for who didn't like it or are you like, did this girl like it? No, I'm just making sure my boys liked it. Okay, okay, okay. My guy saw that. Fascinating. This is fascinating. Okay, that's why you're looking to see if your guy saw your photo. He cares more if his friends

friends like it than the girl. He's like, no, I didn't know my boys liked it. Yeah, so my guy's got my back, man. Come on. Just double tap. It's not that hard. Okay, so if you hit a girl with one of the six emojis,

the clapping and she responds back and is like isn't that funny or something then are you gonna get like a dm exchange with her yeah one that'll make me want to kill myself but like it'll make you want to kill yourself yeah because i'll hit you the clapping emoji and you'll go isn't that funny and i'll go lmao the worst conversation oh my god or what happens if she just hearts your clapping emoji because she's like that's all you're gonna give me are you responding no no no no then i got dead do you have the ability to not respond

Do I have the ability? Yeah. Fully. Really? Yeah, but I will say, why would a girl ever respond to an emoji? If a guy gave me an emoji, I'm just harding it. I'm like, put a little more effort into that. Um...

Yeah, no, it's a logical point. I don't want to put myself out there too much. So then I'm like, I didn't get rejected. She just gave me a normal response. And now we'll both go about our lives until we die. And we'll all be single for the rest of our lives. You played it safe with the emoji response. Okay, that's pretty fascinating that you go for the stories, though. Really? No, I didn't expect it to be like, oh, you think it'd be DMs? No, it's exactly what I thought you would say. Okay. Actually. Okay.

It's just interesting to hear you say it. I would be what I would do. I think that's how interesting works. No, it's not. Stereotypical, yeah. It was just basic of you. Wow. Yes, I'm exceptionally basic. I'm very, very, very basic. Are you texting people? Like, would you text a girl for like an extended period of time? No. Okay. Call them? No.

I'd much rather a phone call. FaceTime or call? Phone call. I'm not, dude. If a girl FaceTimes me, do you fucking see what I look like? You think I have a good angle? If a girl FaceTimes me, I pretend I'm doing something. I put my phone facing up. What?

Oh my god. I do it. I've done it before. This is embarrassing. I've done it before where I ran, like as it was ringing, I ran to bed, turned out the light. I've done that before. I've done that before. I actually did that recently. I was like, no, no, no, I'm in

because I have no makeup on. I want to get up right now because I'm sweating from the sprint over. I'm like, it's too dark to see me. Shoot. You won't just be like, I can't FaceTime? No. It depends on who it is. If it's a girl I've talked to a lot, I'll be like, what are you doing FaceTiming me? If it's a girl I'm still in the process of courting, then I don't want to deny her and make her feel, why didn't you answer my FaceTime? What's he doing? Because I don't,

feel like having that hung over my head. So I'll just make sure she can't see me. Wait, so do you court girls? No, no, no. I was hoping you were actually going to say yes. No. I was going to say, if you're talking to a girl, kind of, and you would like to get dinner with her on a Thursday, are you going to ask her or not? Okay, this is a fun story. I've always said I've never been on a date in my life. Yeah, you told us that last time. And I think that, because yes, I would ask you to dinner, but I'd be like, let's go grab dinner.

To me, it's not a thing.

It wouldn't be like I show up in how I regularly dress, which I think is perfectly presentable. But I'm not worried about my outfit. I'm not like, should I bring a gift? I'm just like... Wait, what gift? You don't need to bring a gift. Bro, I meant like flowers. Show the flowers. Wow. That would scare me. Are you paying? Wait, why is it not a date then? I guess technically you could call it a date, but I think of a date as something where you need like...

the butterflies beforehand you need to you need the i'm nervous how it's gonna go i everyone i've ever like dated in my life we were like friends we were together beforehand so it wasn't you've never had like a first date never like a i guess it kind of like what i'm kind of saying like almost implies a blind date or like i've never met someone off a social media app or something like that okay so um yeah i wouldn't know like what i every every time i've been on a date i'm like i'm fucking it

But that's what I was going to ask you. Is it really that that's how it is? Yeah, but because we've been friends forever. It's not like I'm so confident with a stranger. And are you like, hey, do you want to go on a date? I'll pick the place. I'll pick the time. Like, are you picking and being...

Are you initiating it? No, I'm a feminist. So wherever you want to go, I go. No! Do you say, hey, you want to go to dinner on Thursday? Yeah. You pick the place? And I'll be like, what are you in the mood for? It'll be almost like a married couples conversation. And then they'll go, I don't care. What do you want? And I'll go, I don't fucking know. What are you thinking? And then we'll do that for a couple hours. And then eventually we'll stumble upon some random bar. And that'll be it. You've never shown up with butterflies meeting a girl? No. No.

Ever? Not on a date. Maybe like, no. I mean, maybe in like high school and shit like that. But no, like no, not in any recent memory was I like, damn, I don't know how this is going to go. All right. You see three girls sitting at the bar and you think the middle one is flaming hot and you're like, that's my girl. Do you walk over and talk to her or one of the other two? None of them.

I was going to say, I would. Do you send him a drink? Huh? You send him a drink? Send him a drink? Or you're just... People don't talk to people that we think are attractive out and about. You're not going to say hi? No. You're just going to leave? No. At some point in the night, maybe there will be some kind of interaction. But it's not like I'm not one of those guys. What are you fucking... You've met me. You know me. I'm not going to be like, that's my girl. I'm going to get her. Wait.

I'm going to sit back and wait until fate takes over. I'll be like, it'll be fate. It'll be fate. I feel like you're like a hopeless romantic. Very much so. Back in the day, that said hopeless romantic. It was sick. It had a heart on the chest. It said hopeless romantic. Oh, yeah, cute. Yeah, it was very adorable. It's almost hard, though, to like...

I don't want to compliment you in a creepy way, but it's almost, it's almost like I'm like, there's so, and you're like, I'm not talking to her. I'll send her an emoji. And it's like, wait, what? No, it is. It's a constant fear of rejection. It's just written all over you. And I'm like, what? Yeah, it is. It's a hopeless, like, um, it's a fear of rejection, which lends itself to saying if it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll happen.

Without effort. Without effort. I love it. Because that's how the world works. I love it. Okay. Did I provide any help here? That was a great conversation. We appreciate your time. No help, but it was interesting. That's basically every time I leave a room. That was no help, but we had fun. And you know when we were fully picking what guy to have this conversation with, we went through like 10 and Alana's like, it's Feidelberg. And all three of us were like, it's Feidelberg.

That's who he is. Well, thank you. Sorry I didn't help. No, you were in like the oddest way. So helpful. You actually provided a lot of insight for me. So thank you. You're welcome. Thank you very much for having me. I think the lesson is less is more. Less is more. And if they ignore you on social media, they probably like you.

Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah. Unless you put effort into the photo. Um, they better like it. Unless it looks like the photo I just posted. If they DM you emoji, make sure to respond back because they are too afraid of a rejection. Don't just like it. Oh, that's a, that's a good piece. That's a good piece. Don't,

like this one. If someone sends you an emoji, say, do you want to get dinner? Ask him out. So don't like it back. Make sure to respond to them. And if you see a cute guy at the bar and he doesn't come over and talk to you, it's because he's letting fate run its course. Because he's so in love with you, he can't hold it together. Because he's seen so many rom-coms, he's like, this is how you do it. I'll put together a fucking...

What do you call it? What do they call the dance things? Oh, yes. The pop-up dance. Pop-up dance. I was going to say pop-up dance. A flash mob. Yes, a flash mob. Oh, they'll do a flash mob. That's a good movie. That's a good movie. Just do nothing and then it's perfect. That's how it works. Wow. I love it. I learned a lot today. You haven't got me this far. Well...

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So how do you feel that you never will have to go through the anxiety and pain and confusion of social media when talking to a guy? That's why I ask him so many questions of like, how would you approach this? I'm really genuinely so interested. And I was like, wow, I guess she doesn't have to ever deal with this. No. And when Graham and I started dating, like we had texting. What year was that? Like...

Well, what is it now? 2022? Three. Three? Shoot. So 2015, 16, 15? So Instagram was like just... Snapchat had just started. Instagram was like not that relevant, but like it was starting to get there a little bit. So that's really all you had to deal with. Yeah, nothing like it is today. No. I don't even really remember it being a thing. Like I think it was something we all had, but not anything we took seriously. Yeah.

This is what fascinates me about it because I think there's all these ins and outs these days. Did this guy post me? Are we Instagram official yet? We had the Facebook statuses, but it's like, does he post me on his in-feed? Does he follow other girls? Does he like other girls' pictures? Yes, and then the whole mind, there's that aspect of it once you're dating, but then there's the pre-aspect of it of the Diddy View My Story. And I'm like, I don't even know

what I would do. I will say that

actually fights kind of helped calm my anxiety around social media because I was that girl who was obsessed of like has he viewed my story yet has he liked my pictures oh he didn't like my picture because he likes me oh he hasn't viewed my story because he likes me blah blah but now the next person I talk to I'm really not going to think about it I think the only thing that will affect me is like if I'm dating a guy and he is liking other girls pictures because I genuinely think when you're in a relationship with a guy they should only like your pictures and like your best girlfriends and their best girlfriends pics

Yeah. Like he better like yours. He better like yours, but he, he, but he better not be like, and if you post a bikini pic, he, he better not like that pic. I know. Then I, so then I counter it with this. This is, I'm thinking out loud here. I don't, I'm not set on the way I think about these things, but he saw the photo anyways. He's scrolling on the feed and everybody, if somebody posts a hot bikini photo, we all saw it. All these guys saw it. So almost the ones that double tap it,

I don't get, I guess I don't get the significance of the like, like they're not trying to hide anything because it's public. Yeah. But to someone who's single, like it just, it's kind of a slap in the face of like, okay, my, it just is a reminder that my boyfriend took the time to look at this girl's picture and he, in his head was like, that's a nice picture. Um,

I'm going to like it where he could just like ignorance is bliss. You don't need to like the pic. I'm like, I'm like the complete opposite of yours where it's like, like you with your eyes, but you don't need to show the whole world. You liked it. Cause then you're kind of the slap in the face to everyone seeing that being like, why is Jordan's boyfriend liking this random girl's hot bikini pic? Yeah, no, I see that. I see it. I truly, I'm like, I don't,

I don't know because now we have social media, but Graham doesn't have it. So I, I, I don't know the pain of having to go to his profile and be like, Oh, he follows all of these. Like, okay. If Graham followed a bunch of blonde models, I would feel some type of way about that because they'd be like, you love blondes like that. Yeah. That would hurt. I don't like, I really don't. I'm just, I'm so lucky. I feel for you in this scenario of social media and having to navigate that dating because

It's funny because back in the day, it never really bothered me. My first boyfriend didn't have social media either, and it was incredible. I genuinely think if you have a partner where one doesn't have social media, you're good to go. But I think moving to New York and being in this world has kind of messed with me a bit because we're like around maximizers. Everyone's always looking for the next best thing. So in my head, when I'm seeing this guy and all of a sudden he keeps following all these like

hot girls and what I said to fights was like the mid-tier following of like the 5,000 to 20,000 who are still very attainable they're not the Kendall Jenners and the Hailey Biebers of the world like that doesn't bother me it makes me nervous because I'm like are they DMing them on the side are they like at night when they're alone doing the deed like are they looking at those girls pictures like

Instagram is kind of porn sometimes. And then it just gets in your head and then it just messes with you and then you start going down a dark rabbit hole. Yeah. I mean, you know how I feel about even them looking at the porn photos. Some girls post them like...

They're beautiful pics, but they're very revealing. And I'm like, why are you staring at that for so long? Right. No, I fully agree with that. I'm trying to think now. I'm like, what guys do I follow? So I was seeing this guy one time, and I didn't know this was a thing until my friends put it in my head that it was a thing. And she's like, do you know that you can see who people follow in chronological order? And I was like, why did you tell me that? Yeah.

So I started noticing that this guy I was seeing, his following, this was a while ago, his following was like going up because he didn't follow that many people. And I was like, that's weird. He's like following at least a few people a week. And then when she told me that, I was looking because I was like, oh, it's in chronological order. They were all these hot Instagram models. And I'm like, bro, what?

We're going out on dates. We're like talking. Why do you keep following all these girls on a regular basis? Yeah. Like what's going on? Right. And then started fucking with me. Yeah. That would fuck with me. It would. It would. I'm really trying. I'm like, that would hurt. Yeah. Because like I said, they're like the mid tier where they're very attainable. Like you could DM them and they would respond. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so I guess even... Also, not to mention, I see my DMs and they're filled with guys and they're always usually guys with girlfriends. So I see a daily scumbag on a regular basis. I'm like, weird, you just said this about me, but who's the girl in your pic? Oh, that's cute, but who's the girl in your pic? Oh, it's just like, my mind's so tainted. Yeah, no, I think I think about the people listening and I'm like, okay, for us, we get caught in the

I think I have just as odd of a, I don't know. I don't know how I feel. The fit. I don't, I guess I don't care the follower amount. Like I, even the Haley, like a Margot Robbie to me and a 5,000, any, any follower number to me, I think it all hurts the same. Just knowing they're looking at any girl and it's like, I wouldn't want that. That would hurt. Like it just is like, because you instantly go to the comparison like space and

Yeah. And I do feel like that's tough. Also, like, I've never felt the need to follow, like, all these hot guys on Instagram. I think I, like, genuinely, I don't know if I follow any, like, I follow Joe Burrow. I think he's, like, the only, like, famous male I follow. So it's like, if I don't find the need to do it because I'm satisfied with you, like, why do you find the need? Like, do I not give you, like, are you missing something with me?

I can think of athletes that I follow. Yeah. Like, truly, and that's it. You like the sport. Yeah. And other than that, I'm like, I don't follow one guy because I think he's cute. I don't think... I think there's a little component of ignorance is bliss. Mm-hmm. Because I think people are going to do things anyways. I think if we try to tell guys not to look at... I think that they will if they want to anyways. Right.

But I think there's the component of like the layer below it of like why. Like if you and I are like, I don't really follow anybody because I think they're hot. Like I don't need to see a hot person. Maybe there's something different with guys where they liked it. I don't know. It's very fascinating. It goes back to the why. Yeah. Like what's the point of it? Like are you, yeah. Like is it for your ego? Is it like, what are you doing? Also, I don't know what it is, but I don't really trust any man with over a thousand followers these days.

I'm like, I love a man with no social media or like 200 followers with like no posts. Guys that live under rocks are the heroes. They are incredible. I'm like, they're like, I just, I love it. I love it. Like, oh, the last time he posted a picture was 2010. Perfect. Yeah. Like he, and he doesn't like the way Feidelberg talks about

social media is like so detached. Yes. Which is nice. The people that are always on Instagram, Twitter, that's fine. There's not photos really there. But the guys that are always on Instagram, it's like for what? There's an argument to be made, but

I would say Instagram's so photo forward. Twitter's news forward. TikTok's like hack, like video hack forward. So it isn't... The Instagram warriors, that's interesting. Like a 4,000... If they have 4,000 followers, something gets like, for what? Yeah. Because it's like, for someone who works in social media...

I'm only on social media to post and I usually get off of it. So it's like, why are you on social media all the time browsing? What are you doing? I was thinking about that too. A lot of people do get my story views because I will leave my stories playing like this. Of course you do. And then I'm like, I just viewed everyone's story. See, I loved that question with fights where we were like, does it matter if you view their story?

Because I always thought if a guy viewed your story, he liked you. But now I'm learning from you and Alana and other people that no one really thinks about viewing stories. I only view stories of people I like. I view your guys' stories. I view my close friends. But other than that, I'm not viewing anyone's story. I was thinking about that last night, too, because we were talking about, A, the story view, B, the amount of time they view the story. They know that. Mm-hmm.

I was like, I don't... I would view... I would never even... Like, they reserve the right to give you the view. Yeah. In the amount of time. And I'm like, I don't... I think that that is... I don't think they care. I don't think they care either. I don't think they care. They're like, yeah, just... Also, guys, I think, are just so simple where they're like, oh, I didn't even really think about who I was viewing. They're just the next one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Social media is... It's really going to make or break a relationship going forward in this world. Yeah, and I think it would be interesting if you took the approach of like...

It wasn't, they weren't thinking about it. Like if, if it was like remove it. Okay. If I think of a guy's liking all these models photos and he follows a thousand models. Okay. We got an obvious red flag there. Yeah. But other than that, it would be interesting to kind of be like, maybe it's not that serious. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. To protect yourself. Yeah. Maybe it is, but if it is, I think it'll show you in another area. Yeah. Oh, fully, fully. Yeah. That's why like, I just, I love, um, I just love a man who's a very low key. Under the radar. Under the radar. He's like, oh yeah, I do have an Instagram. I guess. God, I haven't posted in a while. Literally like 2010s is like high school graduation. Yes. His last post. Yes. Not yet. Right. And he's not worried about getting his guy photos. Quick.

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Okay, Alex, so we've mentioned Valentine's Day a few times. Yeah. And I feel like we've gotten a few DMs where people are like, I don't know what to get my significant other. Like, what are some good Valentine's Day gifts? And you have a really good one you're going to get Graham. So I think you should share that. Okay. First of all, for Valentine's Day, I think people like I

I was doing a live and everyone was like, give us Valentine's Day tips. And I'm like, it's so easy. One, you've already made it in a reservation. If you haven't, it's too late because it's the most, you know, Valentine's Day is the most eaten out day of the year. No, really? Yeah. Yeah. Always. Wow. Like you have to book it so early in advance. Yeah.

At this point, if you're listening to this, you're probably a little late to get the reservation. Do you guys have a reservation? We have a reservation. You do? Cute. I made it, though. Oh, that's cute. Like, a long time ago, I was, like, bored, and I was like, oh, I'll make the Valentine's Day reservation. So we do have one. But I'm like, if you don't have one, you can still be a hero, and you just be like, I'm going to get your favorite takeout, or we'll make dinner together. I love that. And it's like, light the candles. It's very romantic to make dinner together. Right? And it's like, you can play music. You can still kind of get dressed up. Pop some wine. Yes. And it's, like, almost more fun. Yeah.

And then I'm like, always take her flowers and get her a little box of chocolates. It doesn't have to be a real gift. It can be that. Yeah. I'm not a big flower person, but I love when... You know I love sweets. Yes. If you get me...

some cookies or like candy with like a nice handwritten card I'll melt in your arms. Literally and I'm like you go to Walgreens and buy the heart shaped chocolate and I'm every year. You could give me that for 50 years straight and I'd be like oh my god who thought of me. A handwritten card will be will make me tear up. You write me a handwritten card and I'm like oh my god I'm gonna save this forever. I put it in a little box. That means more than anything. More than anything. So okay so what I'm gonna do for Graham though is seven days of Valentine's.

and it has to be a gift that he'll use by the end of the night. So like what he did for Christmas to you. Exactly. A little bit of payback. But this guy yesterday told me a really good one to do. Give him a card where he has to choose, and it's chocolate-dipped strawberry or chocolate-dipped Alex. And he picks, but he doesn't know what he's picking. Wait.

Well, how will you dip yourself in chocolate? Well, I think I would just like drizzle chocolate on you somehow. And I'm like, ew. Also, like, I've never... I've seen that in movies. Where they're like, I'll pour water. And I'm like, then I'm sticky. Wait, what if you make yourself edible on everything? So it's like one day you have like the candy thong and bra where you can... You know, like the candy necklaces? You like whip cream another day. You do chocolate. Like, that would be good. Oh my God, that would be... But I'm like, I don't want...

with cream on me yeah I love lingerie yeah so are these gifts gonna be like actually fun for him some of them I'm gonna do like three of them are like good and then some like I wanna get him like a I ordered it last night like a shot collar like a dog shot collar and then it's like he's like you have to shock yourself I always think that's so well I think it's funny you're gonna hurt

the poor man no he'll be I'm like that'll be one I love the chocolate covered like dipped thing I like that idea same um they're like a man the the candy but for the guys I think those are funny yeah um but then like real ones like I'll get myself lingerie because I didn't know which one of you said some guys don't like lingerie that's so bad and I that's so true my my ex was like I'm just gonna take it off it's a waste of money but then I've had people who are like no I love it so it's very situational

I used to not see the point of it. Like, when I got married, you know when you go on your bachelorette trip, everyone brings you lingerie? Mm-hmm. I got, like, a lot of pretty stuff then. I think I gave it all away. I donated it. Because I was like, I'm never going to wear this. Yeah. But now, I found, like, a brand I like, and I'm like, oh, I love wearing it. Yeah. It's like I grew into it. And if Graham likes it, that's all that matters. Yeah, yeah, and it's fun. Yeah. But I do... I used to be like...

I just want you naked. Why on earth would you wear lingerie? Another thing you could do, kind of like we did at Christmas, you could do a little advent calendar. You could do like, and you could, oh my God, I have an idea. Okay, so you know the heart chocolate things that you open, there's like chocolate each. It's the shape of a heart. Take all the chocolate out and put a sexy pic in each of the chocolate things. I mean, I know it'd have to be like a really big box of chocolates, but how,

cute would that be did I tell you over Christmas I had started taking the photos

Well, I knew you started, but you didn't tell me something specific. I had three of them. And then he like saw them and he was like, what are these for? And I was like, you're never going to believe this, but these are for you. Like, I swear to God, these are for you. And he's like, what? So I had to show him the clip of you being like, do the advent calendar. But he saw, I was like, and they had like a filter on them. I was like giving effort, but I should do it because he loved it. Remember the Rangers game?

How could we forget? On that cab ride home, I sent each of the pictures I took to Mike. I remember you telling us that. We were in the back of the cab. Like, one a minute. Like Mike. I was just sitting right next to him being like, did you like that one? And what about this one? And your guys aren't talking and you're just like sending them to him. And he's like, yeah. Oh my God, that would be... I think that's great because it's like you don't have to do...

a ton you could just do like a week's worth yeah and you could like put a little chocolate on it or like tie it to a rose put under their pillow I like that I like that for Valentine's Day because I don't know what it is

know it's like National Daughters Day and I'm like you're a daughter every day today no like you know how National Daughters Day exists and then there's like National Donut Day I feel that way a little bit about Valentine's in the sense of gifts like we got it you you love your person every day so you don't really need like a nice gift I think I think dinner's fun I

I love like the pink and the red, but I like like cute. Like I like the candy. Little nudes are fine, but it doesn't need to be like, I got you a Louis Vuitton. No, I like for me, Valentine's Day is like when you get them like the heartfelt, like you write them the letter. If they love flowers, get them flowers, take them to like their favorite restaurant. Like something that's a little bit more,

intimate. Yeah, it doesn't need to be big gifts. Yeah. I feel like too, if you do that one year, then you're constantly like every year is compared to that and it's like, oh. Yeah, also like I don't really want my city and my other buy me nice gifts because like they probably won't have great taste. So either take me to the store or just buy me a nice little or write me nice little letter.

Little letters, great. Like, I can't even imagine them giving you a purse and you're like, fuck, I don't even like the purse. Yeah, no. Or like jewelry, you know, like I'm like, ah, which I'm grateful for Christmas and things, but I feel like Valentine's Day is such just like a, like being on a Tuesday is perfect. It's just such a Tuesday. Yes. Just a good old fashioned chocolate love ya. Is it Tuesday this year? Yeah.

That's cute. Yeah. Little wheel intro. Wheel! Oh, misfortune! Okay. I was like, alright, let's do it. Got it. Spin. Okay. I love the noise it makes. Such a good noise. Isn't that so cute? A friends with benefits experience. Do we believe in those? Well, have you had one? Because I've never had one. They're impossible. I genuinely...

I don't think that they are real. I think they're like aliens. I've had a friend with a benefit and then I started to like him or I had a friend with a benefit and then got completely grossed out with him and then there was no more benefits and he was just my friend. But I've never had a friend with benefits that survived more than one moment. Wait, so with that friend that you got grossed out about, you were able to be friends with him again? Yeah, I was just like, we can't do this. I like our friendship too much to sacrifice this. But in all reality, I was like, you are... This ain't it. No, yeah, I...

I don't really have guy friends because I usually fall in love with them, but I could never because I only can be intimate with people I really like and I would start to like them a lot and then I wouldn't want to be their friend anymore. Because this is my question. If you have a friend with benefits, um,

Then why would you want to be intimate with somebody that you didn't feel sexual attraction to? Yeah. Otherwise, I feel like I'm just kissing a girl. Also, fully, fully. Also, I'm so zero to 100. And I feel like you are too, where it's like either I want nothing to do with you or you can be my boyfriend. This is why I think girl, this is why I argue on the side of girls can have guy friends because I so compartmentalize women.

Where I oftentimes use one of my best guy friends here. But I'm like, I could never have sex with you ever, even remotely think of you ever as attractive. Yeah. Ever. And then I'm like, if I was single, I'm like, I could never have a friend that I wanted to hook up with ever because you're in the friend category. Yeah. Like, I can have guy friends now. I mean, I consider like Graham and Mike and like my other friends, boyfriends, friends. But...

I guess when I say guy friends, I mean like I've never been a girl who just like will hang out that guy alone because we're just friends. I've never had that. I've had like groups, but I've never been like, you know, some girls just like a best guy. Like I do have one best guy friend, but like they'll just hang out alone together. I'm just like, how can you like a guy that much, but not romantically like him? Oh, much. Yeah. Two friends with benefits.

really actual ones yeah and you could hook up with them even though they were just your friend you truly had no feelings it's actually kind of crazy when i think back to it because you're so chill we would like the one well both of them there are different points in my life they were like my uh i wouldn't say it was like that one-on-one friendship that you're referring to like we were friends in a group like we were like always hanging out and you truly didn't like them

No. If they texted you and their name popped up on your phone, you felt nothing? No, I felt nothing towards them. How? Did you think they were hot? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. I always thought they were hot, but it was so weird. Like, I can remember having sex with them and it, like, was not, like, sexual like that. Okay, I have a question for you, though. It was straight business. What? I have a question. Okay. I don't... Okay. Do you guys think you can find guys...

hot though when you don't like their personality like that because I if there's a guy who I think is hot then I get to know him and I'm like your personality is nothing I would ever want to do with immediately I'm like you're ugly now

there, there could be the hottest guy in the world. Yeah. And if he had, if he is like a wallflower or like just, um, really passive or something immediately can be so he's not cute anymore. Yeah. That's why I fell in love with like my friend, like my guy friends in high school because like I would spend time with these guys and I loved their personality. So, and I was like, they're funny, they're nice, they're caring. Uh,

I'm going to start having feelings for them because I like them. I think that's why people are attracted to athletes. I truly like don't, as I'm explaining this, I don't relate to it at all. So I don't know how I did it. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm trying to like figure out how I felt. I remember the reason the one and I, who's still a close friend of mine, the reason we stopped doing it was the last time we did it, we were at a party and he was grossing me out kind of while we were doing it. Cause he was being like serious about it. Hmm.

maybe he started getting, called me like baby girl or something like that. So he maybe started getting feelings. I don't know though. And then someone, I could hear people outside calling my name, like talking like, Alana, where's Alana? So I was like, I'm leaving. I'm going back outside. So then I got up and walked out and he got like mad that I did that. And then we never did it again. So I feel like it was like right before the, the,

the pendulum would have shifted in like a weird direction. Do that make sense? Totally. Yeah. Cause it was going to, cause that's my thing. There's gotta be a shelf life to it because you either get grossed out or you start to develop feelings. But this is my question. I'm like, if you truly feel nothing, if you're seriously friends with the benefit of having sex or hooking up,

How does the guy get harder? Like, how do you enjoy it? Like, I'm like, how is it pleasurable if it's a friend with benefit? I don't think it exists. It wouldn't be for me. I genuinely cannot have sex with someone unless I have feelings for them. I mean, I can do like the one night stand, but the sex is always horrible. I'm like, poor. Like, no. Yeah, it was. It would be bad. I think...

I'm like, I would rather not. I would rather have sex. Fully. That's why I don't like one night stands. I think we were both recently single and just looking for some sort of connection. Were you hurt maybe? By? Like emotionally at that time? The first one, yeah. Okay. The second one was in college and I was kind of like, whoa. So we would just like make out in the middle of the dance floor at parties and bars. Got it. And we thought it was like funny. Okay. I don't think you can. I don't think friends with benefits exist. It doesn't. I don't either.

It's an anomaly. It's an alien. It's a ghost. Like, no. It's a unicorn. Not even a... Oh, I would not... I don't want it. No, I don't want a unicorn. Like, I just... I can't comprehend. Especially a new friend. I don't think you can make a new friend and be like, like the movie. That's not... That's when you develop feelings for someone. That's... To me, they immediately had feelings. Okay, I... But that's actually...

That's actually interesting. New friend, for sure, absolutely not, because why bother? Like, you wouldn't bother with a new opposite-sex friend ever at this day and age unless you were attracted to them in some capacity. Yeah. And if they're an old friend, there's no way you could sleep with them. No way, unless you were attracted to them, because there's just no way you could physically want to have sex with them. Yeah. Unless they're, like, two very emotionally unavailable human beings who are just a little messed up. Mm-hmm.

Like, in Friends with Benefits, like, Mila and Justin Timberlake, like, they played characters that were emotionally fucked up. Yeah, because to me, right away, they liked each other. Fully! In my head, I was like, you guys have a crush on each other. Fully! But she was really messed up, and he was really messed up, so it worked. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just really sensitive and emotional. Like, I could never... I don't...

even think actors and actresses actually when I watch sex scenes. I'm like, there's no way you felt nothing. If Graham came to me and said, I'm an actor and I need to have sex with somebody, I'd be like, immediately, no. I'm an actor. Because you're going to feel something. You'll feel something in this brain of yours when you have sexual intercourse with a person. No way. Especially when you're acting and you're playing a role that likes someone. I feel like actors can change their whole mindset. So it's like, also, you're telling me that some of those kisses...

That's acting? Like, there are some kisses where I'm like, nah, not today. Like, that's... I'm getting uncomfortable watching, but there's some where I'm like... I can think of them at the top of my head. Yeah. Romeo and Juliet. I think Margot Robbie and Leonardo DiCaprio should have gotten married. I think Leonardo DiCaprio and... Leonardo DiCaprio and...

Kate Winslet in Titanic. They should have gotten married. Maybe Leo actually is a good actor. I wouldn't let my significant other ever. Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper. Silver Linings Playbook. They should be married. I love that. Never saw it. That Kiss. That's a good movie.

Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot, though, where I'm like, I wouldn't let my significant other kiss somebody or have sex scenes with somebody because I'm like, damn, those are steamy. And you guys just don't know. I mean, you're going to enjoy it. I just think maybe not. But I don't. I just think so. I'm pretty sure you will. You will. You will. I'm on the table. I could never date an actor. No, no. Quick pause to talk about the one and only BetterHelp, because this show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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