Faking O’s & Playing Games
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Everyone, everyone, Kegel. We're bonding. And Kegel. Mean Girls, Kegel. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Who's in the building?

Alex is back! Yay, I'm back! And you're actually back. This isn't a pre-recording. You're like actually back. So back in Barstool's office. Back in business, baby. In the flesh. Feels good to see you. So nice to see you. Jordan's sick. I already used your lip gloss, so whatever. Yeah, sorry if I sound like crap today, you guys. I'm getting over a very, very big illness of an AC slash allergy issue. Okay.

That makes you sound dramatic. I think you were actually sick. Plus, I was actually sick, which we'll get into because I was doing bad things for a few weeks straight. Oh, she made herself sick. But Alex...

Jordan, do you have a curtain up for us today? I have a continuum. I just have an Elon update. Oh, bring it. Bring it to me. Good old Elon. So obviously he's completely acquiring Twitter. You know what I asked today, the question this morning? I said $43 billion is a lot of money. Does he think he can turn a profit on this? You know, like make money?

And the answer to that is while he does think he can make money on his $43 billion investment, he doesn't even care because in 10 years he'll have a trillion dollars. More than a trillion dollars. So that to me is crazy. But basically the only update I have for you is he's letting everybody back on Twitter. All the people that have been kicked off. All the ex-presidents. They're welcome back. Really? Freedom of speech is his thing.

All right. That will be interesting. Yeah. So I think that's something to look forward to, or at least not look forward to is not the right word, but it will at a minimum be entertaining. You know how we always say, what would Elon do? Ladies and gentlemen, this does not mean allow your exes back into your life. Okay. This is the one exception. Do not follow Elon Musk. Wow. You're taking a hard. It's Mercury retrograde. You're into this Mercury's in. George is texting me in all caps. Whoa.

Oh, space. We don't talk about space on this podcast. We talk about Elon all the time. That's space. Can you please pronounce that again? Mercury in retrograde. Thank you. What did you think I said? You were like, retro-mercury, retrograde. I was like, what does that even mean? I don't think I said that. We have it on recording, which is the good news. So we'll know exactly what I said. Maybe I said that. But Jordan's texting in all caps. She's like, Mercury's in retrograde. Yeah. Yeah.

What does that even mean? It means chaos for the next few weeks. And I'm pretty sure based off of what's been happening in this office, it's been chaos. It was a long week by Tuesday night. Yeah. At the barstool headquarters. Yeah. Now, you seem to have had a long couple of like past prior weeks. Mm hmm. You know, like, do you see your life getting more chaotic or less chaotic?

So Mercury is in retrograde in Gemini right now. So a lot of Geminis will be suffering. I'm a Gemini. But honestly, my life has been pretty calm. No exes have slid in, which is fantastic. But I have friends where they're like, oh my God, my ex is actually sliding in. So beware. Jordan, you're a Gemini? Yeah. I don't see that. Yeah.

Wait, why? Because aren't Geminis like double-headed? So Geminis get a bad rap. What? Just kidding. They do get a bad rap. It's not that we're two-faced. It's that we conform to different people's energies so we can come off as...

like a different person because we conform. So like if you're really calm, I'm gonna be really calm. If you're really hyper, I'm gonna be really hyper around you. So people think we're two-faced because we change who we are, but it's just because we're conforming to the energy around us. - You're not a chameleon, you're versatile. - Yes. - Okay. - That's also why people are always like, you always contradict yourself. I'm like, yeah, that's my middle name because I'm a Gemini. - You do, you love a contradiction. - Yeah. - You love a 666, but we don't care if they have money, we just wanna have fun.

Yeah, that's our girl JW. Anyways, enough with the astrology talk. But speaking of you being a Gemini, I am planning your birthday party. I know. I'm so excited. I'm not going to say the date, but Alana, you better mark it off on your calendar. It's going to be a fun one. We're going to have J-Dev's birthday party. Is it a surprise or? Wait, I can say it.

of the day that doesn't matter yeah what is June 9th yeah that's but her birthday is not June 9th the party's Thursday June 9th and we're gonna record the Friday after yeah so my birthday's June 14th Alex is planning my birthday on June 9th I don't really have a lot to say besides who gets invited which is stressing me out but I'm really appreciative of you

I plan a good party. Mike's invited too. Okay. Wait, I'm excited. I know. I'm too. I know. I don't usually like my birthday, but I feel like for your first year in New York, you actually have to celebrate. You have to celebrate. On a Thursday, it's perfect. People can still go away on the weekend, but you still get to have your party. Yeah. And then I'm going to be planning your birthday. Perfect. In July. Yay. Even though you'll be gone, so we'll plan it for after. Yes. Yes.

You're gone July 1st. Yeah, I am. See, I know your schedule better than you do. Oh yeah, I don't know my schedule. Okay, anyways, Alex, you've been gone for literally, I haven't seen you in three weeks. Please update us on your life. Tell us what you can about Barstool vs. America. Drinking, anxiety, the whole shebang.

Okay, Barstool vs. America was so much fun. My biggest objective was to bond with some coworkers, which is inevitable when you're living on an RV with them. I can't tell you who won, who lost. I can't tell you any of that that happened. But I think I can tell you that I bonded. I don't even know if I can tell you who I bonded with, but there's two people that I got to know the most. Boys or girls? Boys, because I was around them the most.

Oh, yay. So it was really fun. I basically achieved everything I wanted to achieve. I was like, of course I'm here to compete, but I want to have fun ultimately. Also think about this, because you leave for a game show next week. Yeah. Think about how lucky we are that that's our job. It's like an adult summer camp. Really?

When people are working like corporate jobs and finance and we're gone at game shows. I was actually thinking about that when you were gone. I was like, how cool is it that this is our job that Alex gets to literally tour America in an RV and drink for a living? It was so fun. Okay, so drinking. Yes. So, okay, so we had five happy hours. We had a happy hour in every city. But you met some listeners. I did. I met a lot of listeners. That's amazing. Mainly guys. I took photos with the girls, but I met more guys listeners than girl listeners. Okay, cool.

I know that's interesting. That doesn't surprise me though. Cause when I'm out, I meet more guy listeners than girl listeners. I also wonder, I'm more likely to approach a guy than I would be a girl if I like followed them. Yeah. No, a hundred percent. Same. That could be it. Maybe there, maybe they were there. They just weren't saying anything. Yeah. Um, so happy hours.

I feel like I'm completely back. Obviously, I took like a month and a half off of drinking. I feel like, okay, this is what we have to understand about Alex. There was a very normal Alex that drank from 21 to 27. Like she was just a normal person with like a normal relationship with alcohol. It's like went out on the weekends. And then, you know, in New York, there was like for a month and a half, two months, there was a different version of that Alex. The old Alex is back.

Oh Yeah so it's nice Like I'm just like My normal self again Where I can just like Don't even have to think about it And when you start to feel Like the buzz You just like stop drinking Like I don't know I don't even know how to explain it Other than I feel normal And I haven't seen that Alex yet right? Well No But some people that like

So, like, Hannah Cook, for instance, would have seen it. Because remember how we were in this friend group, but you and I weren't close? Like, we never hung out? Like, that Alex was very much so in New York, but when Mean Girls started, no, that Alex didn't exist. Okay, so I haven't gone out with normal Alex yet. No, you've never been close with, like, that Alex. Oh, fun! Yeah, she's cool. She's just chill. I'm excited to meet her. Yeah, she doesn't, like, black the fuck out every time. She just, like...

I don't know. I have a new favorite drink. Oh, okay. You're not going to like this. Is it vodka? It's vodka. Jesus Christ. Sorry. I know. I'm so sorry. Let's hear it. What is it? It's a vodka martini. I'd never had one. You have to do gin. So gin. These boys. Wait. How foreshadowing is that? That's all I'm going to say. Okay. Why? Oh, wow. We did just foreshadow something very important in everyone's life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a martini girl.

Oh my God. That's so funny. Gals. Wow. Okay, amazing. Love, love, love. Sorry, we continue. Yes. Okay, so drank a ton of high noons, sprinkled in a martini, had a blast. Still only drink decaf coffee. I'm obsessed with decaf coffee. I have so much less anxiety. So I only have a good report. And I think being away...

And like being busy and competing, like really helped me relax and reset myself as crazy as that is. Like, I don't think a vacation would have done it. It needed to be like work without the work. Yeah. And I feel like being around coworkers helped a lot for you to have less anxiety, especially like coming into the office and everything. And totally. Cause you've been in the office more than me. Yesterday was crazy when you two were in the office and I wasn't, I was like, I have FOMO. Oh yeah. I mean, I, you know, I still get more done out of it, but like when I need to come, I'm like, okay, let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay. What about you?

What were you doing while I was away? Were you out to play? Feels like it. I was out to play. That is for sure. So, as you guys can tell, I'm a little sick. What?

guys george is sick why are you laughing at me it's funny um and it's because i have not been treating my body very well these past few weeks so i had a few visitors come um my best friend was here i think two weeks ago and then i had two other friends visiting last weekend which just means like a lot of drinking a lot not very much sleep

And my body, like, I truly think my body was like, if we don't get you sick, you're literally going to die from running yourself into the ground. Okay. Also, like, work has just been crazy with Alex gone. I think everything was just adding up. But it was fun. I drank a little too much. Met some boys. Oh, okay. Well, hold on. Hold on. Are these specific nights?

Is that an overarching theme? Overarching theme. Are you going out like how many nights a week are we going out? I was gone 14 days. How many nights did you go out? Like maybe eight of those. Not that many. Okay. So half. Yeah. Or a little more than half. Yeah. Not that many. How many boys did you meet? Hmm. Not that many. Only like wait like four. Four boys. Okay. What happened with these boys?

So a lot of them have asked not to be spoken about on the podcast, and I respect that. Same. But I did make out with a few boys. Okay. Yes, yes. Do you like a boy? No, I'm not talking to anyone. Okay, okay. Yeah, no, no, no. Okay. No, no, no. Well, who was the best make out? This one. I mean, the guy that you know. Okay. Yeah, and that you know. All I'm going to say is I feel like I'm a little bit of like a

and let me preface this before after I say this I feel like I'm kind of like a one hit wonder not hit as in like hit it and quit the lights just went off oh my gosh it's like you're a one hit wonder I know not like a one hit wonder as oh they're back on lights are back on as um like hit it and quit it like as in I have these amazing nights with these guys and it's like a wonderful time and then I never hear from them again but

But that's like for me too. Like last week Rudy talked about how it has to be 50-50. I'm not reaching out to them. They're not reaching out to me. And I'm just kind of like realizing that's how it's going to be until I decide to grow a pair and reach out. Okay, wait, hold on. So are you not reaching out because you need to grow a pair or is it like lack of like you don't care? I just don't care. Yeah, I don't feel like you care. I'm not getting any vibe that you give a shit at all. No, not at all. It's just like...

So last night I was watching the dropout. Sorry, Alex. Worst scandal of them all. And I was sitting there seeing her relationship with the guy that she's with. Yeah. And all I was thinking was, oh my gosh, the person I end up with needs to be someone who is so smart, so interesting, someone who challenges me and blows my mind every single day.

And I haven't found that yet. Like, I can't be with someone who's simple. Okay. And then it just made me realize, I'm like, all these guys I've been meeting, I don't care. Can I counter? Yeah, sure. Why not? Is it where you're meeting them? Have you met any of them, like, not at a bar? Like, to know if they're, like, I'm also not very interesting at a bar.

No, no, no. I'm not saying like, I'm not like saying these guys are horrible because I don't know them that well. I'm just saying like in general going forward, like the person I end up with, I need to make sure that they like challenge me. That's very, they must. And like, they're like interesting and exciting and intriguing. They should definitely, they should definitely balance. They should have strengths where you have weaknesses. Yeah. That's massive. Or else you won't grow as a person. Neither will they. Yeah. I just, who thought the dropout would teach me what I want in a man? I'm sorry. What episode are you on?

Because Sonny turns out to be a real bag of shit. Yeah. You like Sonny. No, I don't. I was just saying how Sonny and... I'm wondering. I'm like a little concerned. Wait, wait, wait. Unless you're only on episode two. I'm only on episode two. Okay, he's fine right now. Okay, he's like pushing her to achieve more. Yes. But what I was saying was Sonny and... What's your name?

Oh, yes. How there's just such interesting people and they're doing all these crazy things in life. And granted, I haven't gotten to the part where she's like scamming people yet. I was just like, wow, that would be such a fun relationship being with people who push you and who are doing crazy things with life and exploring new parts of the world. That's what I'm getting at. Yes, I think you need the person that pushes you because I think a lot of people think about relationships...

When it's happy. Yeah. And the good times. Yeah. Anybody can do that. You can do the good times with a lot of people. It's when adversity hits. Yeah. That's when you, that's how you need to pick your partners. Like who can I get to the bad times with? Yeah. I also feel like we're so overstimulated in this job that we need someone who stimulates the crap out of us.

Yes. In a different way, you mean? Yeah. Yeah. Think about like, I don't know about you guys, but since working here, it takes a lot more to excite me just because we see crazy things all the time. Yes. And it's like high and lows. So I'm realizing like I need somebody who helps stimulate my brain. I agree with that completely. I have found...

I find TV shows officially boring. Yes. I have to, I've been going out to eat a lot since I've been back because in order to stay out of like an anxious place, I'm like, we have to get up and move and go do like, we have to stimulate. Yeah. Because sitting still is terrible for us. It's so boring. And, and you start to get inside your head. Yes. Think more. So wait, what would be like an, like an ideal way somebody would challenge you? Like they would want to go out to eat or like try wines or something. Like what's like, give me an example. I think it would just be honestly just someone who has a job that's

so different that i can kind of learn about i like that um it's inter even just interesting to hear about yeah yeah someone who's doing cool things or someone who wants to do different things yeah like going to try wine or going to a restaurant just i can't do the basics sit on a couch and watch tv yeah no it that's so gone with this job you can't do that at all yeah yeah so that's something i learned about myself okay and i had a pregnancy scare what you what

What did she just say? It's not that serious. She had a pregnancy scare. You had a pregnancy scare? Scare. So it's not really a scare. You had a pregnancy scare. Yeah, but it's not really, it wasn't really like a legitimate one. Are there four people in this room? No, I'm not pregnant. And Jordan, you're not on birth control, correct? See, that's why it was a pregnancy scare because, so now that I'm not on birth control,

When you have sex, you're always risking it. Like condoms only do so much. But I was five days late and I'm like pretty regular, give or take two, three days. And after that third day, I was like, all right, I'm like this close to taking a test. It was day five. I literally went to the gym and I was like, I'm going to go to CVS my way home, take a test.

After I worked out, she came. Question. A lot of people have pregnancy scares. I had them in college. I think they're terribly horrifying. Did you tell anybody? Were you going to take that test by yourself? Oh, so I definitely told a few of my friends. I was just like, guys...

I'm like a little late, but I would have taken the test by myself. And like not told anybody. Not told anyone, no. Okay, just would have gone through that. Yeah. I've never had like a legitimate pregnancy scare where I like to my bones think I'm pregnant. I'm just a hypochondriac, worry about everything. If I'm like five days late, most people are five days late and they're like, oh, I'm not pregnant. I'll wait till my next period to see if I miss it. Right, right. People get in their heads about that. Yeah. Everyone always has, I think. But like...

My best friend was coming to visit. I knew I was going to be drinking a lot, so I was like, better check. Need to just know for sure. There's a juicy question we can ask around this topic. I don't know because I forgot my notes. Oh, yes. The spicy question of the week. It feels like it fits right here. Yes. I think Alana needs to ask us the spicy question of the week. Okay. I'm going to pick my favorite one, which was, have you ever...

faked an orgasm? Or how often do you? Because I'm sure everyone has. You guys, I've never faked an orgasm. She's so annoying. That doesn't mean I always have them, but I've never faked one. How would you? Oh, I guess that's a good way to put it. Yeah, if I don't have one, I just don't have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys faked them? I've faked my first year. I probably faked it when I was younger just to get it over with.

Yeah. But probably not in the last 10 years. Okay. 10, 8. Not in the last 15 years. When I was like in high school. Yeah. I have a question. I have pondered this for a very long time. If you're hooking up with somebody and you're having sex, do you wait till he comes and you orgasm? Is that the rule? What's the rule? Is it just whoever comes first, like wins? Like what do you do?

What do you mean? Like, when you're having sex, is there a protocol that, like, he's supposed to come and then you're supposed to orgasm? I think the girl always comes first. No, the guy, I feel like, always comes first and the girl just never comes in general. I feel like a guy should make a girl come first and then everyone could just relax. Yeah. You know, pressure's off. And then do you do it again until he comes or not? I'm going to be honest with you. I have not had sober sex in a hot five-minute, so I don't know.

I can tell you how it was back in, like, two years ago. Yeah, what'd you do? So, like, the guys that I was... I'm trying to think of, like, the last guy that I... So the last guy that I was in some type of a relationship with that I had sober sex with, usually we would communicate during sex. And if he was like, I'm close, he would be like, how close are you?

And usually like we would have to stop what we were doing so he wouldn't come and then I would come and then he would come. And that makes sense. That makes total sense. Yeah. Yeah. But if it's if it's a hookup with a person that you don't know that well, what is like addict? Like what happened? Oh, what do you do? Girlfriend? I have never came with a guy. I just don't give a fuck. Yeah, they should. They should. They. Yeah. Yeah. I thought I figured they should.

I don't think I've ever come with a guy that I'm just hooking up with. Jordan and I were talking about that like two weeks ago. About how one night stands are trash because... You don't cum. Yeah. And guys don't give two shits about you. They just want to cum. I feel like they should always try to make the girl cum first with their mouth or their hand. And then once that happened... What? Would you still proceed to want to have sex with them? What? Usually they make them cum with their mouth or hand. Yeah. Or their dick. Dick.

Okay, the odds of that from a one-night stand. Oh, not that I would know. I see what you're saying. I'm just trying to think. I don't think, like, I feel like you gotta know someone. Yeah, 100%. I agree with that. But, like, I think we talked about this. Everyone's puzzle's different. Every girl's puzzle's different. That's a very good way to put it. Very difficult. When you and your husband, I can't even say his name, when we talk about sex. He's like, stop listening. Your mate. Are having sex.

Do you guys communicate? Full-blown communication. And it will trade off. We try to just make it very fair. So then I started thinking, though, I was like, wait, one night stand, or not even one night stands, newly dating, or somebody you've hooked up with three or four times, I'm like, how does that work? Who gets to do it? Like I said, I'm a one-hit wonder. I don't know. One and done. Never talk to him again. That's all we don't know. Okay. Okay, so let's give the guys a little heads up on how you could tell if a girl's faking, because it's...

It's not just moaning. No. No. It's a whole body experience. So I feel like there's two different ways. One, if you're with someone regularly, you should kind of know how they orgasm. I mean, a body does a certain thing. So, like, for example, like, I'm sure Graham can kind of get a sense of when you're coming, maybe. I don't know. Yes. So for guys who are in relationships, it should be easy because, like...

You can be like, okay, you didn't do that the last ten times. Why are you making a different sound? Why is your body moving in a different way? You know what I mean? Totally. Like, a girl's body will, like... Lights off. Stand up real quick. Oh! It's you, I think. That's so annoying. When you walk. A girl's body will, like, maybe shake a certain way. So I think partners can kind of get the sense if you've been with someone for a long time. But for, like, one-night stands...

I feel like maybe if a girl is being a little too dramatic. I don't know. Is it the scientific definition, though, that... It's a Kegel pulse. Yeah, there's a pulse in the, like, vagina, basically. Yeah, it's the Kegel exercise, really. Yeah, you literally feel it. If you don't feel the pulse... Yeah, you should know that. No! Don't you feel it when you orgasm?

Yeah, but I didn't know guys could feel it. Yeah. 100%. Really? Yeah. I just do that during, just for fun. I do. It feels good. Yeah, I've done it for fun too. But yeah, I mean, I guess if you wouldn't feel it, you're the one, like you wouldn't feel it because you're kind of somewhere else. But they can. I can, no, I can feel it sometimes. But also, you should do it during sex. You're right, because it feels really good for the guys. Yeah.

It's also just an exercise you should do on a daily basis. Everyone should do it as you're listening to this podcast. Wait, so guys, the way to tell if a girl is faking orgasm or not, see if you can feel the... Would you do a lot of... Like the vagina literally tightens and you can feel it. Also, on the flip side, that's how you could fake it too and get away with it. Oh.

So ladies. Okay. No, but I think, I think, okay. So you can obviously control doing it. Right. Cause it's like a literal exercise. Yeah. But when you're orgasming, I believe it's like, um, a little bit fat. Like you couldn't do it like that. Cause it's like your body is actually having that like endorphin release. I'm trying to do it right now. Yeah. I don't think you can do it like super speed. Yeah. You know how like you can't. Yeah. It's like slower. It's like, it's like a release to like, I don't know.

Yeah, so it's truly like the speed of it. I feel like if you're orgasm, it's like... But if you're just doing the exercise, it's like... Yeah, I'm trying right now. Are we all doing it? Yeah. Everyone Kegel. We're bonding. And Kegel. Mean girls Kegel. One, and two, and three, and four.

Okay, I wanna. Are you okay? - No. - Okay, so what are we saying? We're saying, okay, we thought about it while we were in the bar and we were talking about orgasms and the way that you can know if a woman orgasms and we said it was the contractions, but that's not it. - What is it? - There's more. - What is it? - And you know what it is? - What? - They go from very wet, like you're like dripping, and once you orgasm,

You dry out like the desert. You're like, oh my God, I'm a water well. Like I'm the Hoover Dam. And then you're like, welcome to Palm Springs. Like you're dry as a desert. Thank you. That's a great analogy. That's as much as geography as I possibly can go. And you can't fake that, how? You can literally not fake that. You can't fake the dryness, bitch. If you were wet. You can't fake the wetness, actually. You can moan all you want and be like, okay, so here, okay, here's the thing.

I have never faked an orgasm, but there have been times where I've orgasmed and I've tried to pretend like I haven't because I'm like, maybe Graham wants to come. But here's the problem with that.

You can tell when a girl's already orgasmed because she was wet and then she's dry. So there you go, gentlemen. If she's dry, she's dry. Literally, you cannot, you can't. No actor, Jennifer Aniston, she couldn't. You can clench it all you want, but you can't fake it. She could never. She could never. She'll never.

So you've never faked an orgasm or you have? No, I have. Okay. But that was me, like Alana, when I was younger and I just wanted to get over with and I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Now I'm very okay telling a guy like, I'm sorry, you didn't make me cum, so either we're going to do this again or you better go down a different way. So you make him... Yeah. Okay. If I'm going to do you, you're going to do me right, okay? I'm 26 years old. Almost 27. Yeah.

no no welcome it welcome it we don't care about timelines um but yeah no like now if i if i was in a relation or in a comfortable relationship with someone and we were having sex and he came out be like you're not done or let's give it a few minutes and we'll get it we'll go back at it again but we're gonna focus on me okay yeah like we're it's it's enough of this one-sided thing like the older like you know what i mean it needs to be it needs to be 50 50 yeah i never felt like it was one-sided

With Graham or in general? Oh, well, no, definitely not there. But in general, I didn't know. I guess that's what I was wondering was if it was. Oh, God, I've been with so many guys where it's one-sided. And it's like...

Wanted like so quick. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Guys, come on. Yeah. Oh, so more guys than less. Goodness gracious. But I also like I said, we have to like remember the last time I was in a relationship with a guy like doing sober sex was like when I was 24. Right, right, right. So I've like the past two years have been like a weird cycle.

sex time for me out of data yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like nothing to report yeah i also i think i might um i think i'm gonna stop doing the casual sex again okay i'm just gonna go back to making out until i want to like pursue a fling with someone okay are we still looking for a three-person summer fling yes we are have we secured no we have not secured one of the three we've not secured any but i have a few in mind oh like you have prospects i do do you know them

Yes, I do. Oh, that's the best. Okay. Is there any leads to talking to them? Well, I'm talking to all of them. I just haven't met them in person yet. Oh, are you DMing them? Maybe. I don't know. She's going to remain tight lipped on this.

Let let's just say a lot of guys lately have been asking me to respect their privacy and that's what i'm gonna do. Oh Got it. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. So hold on. All right are one of the three spots are still not filled However, there are prospects. However, you're not going to tell us who they are. Correct. Okay. Got it. Perfect Yes, I mean when like when it's secured i'll be more open about it Okay, um, does that come with the job now? Does that come with with talking to you?

What is what? You talking about it on the podcast or is it a would you give them an alias and say we will not be speaking about this person?

Wait, I'm confused. What? So, like, you're saying they want you to respect their privacy. Yeah. And then I'm wondering, let's say, of the one out of three, let's say you secure the young, fun one. But he wants to remain anonymous. Could you at least tell us, I've secured the young, fun one? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot more people are just being like, hey, I know what you do. I'm so supportive of you, but if you wouldn't mind not talking about me on the pod, that'd be great. Got it. And I'm like, hell yeah, of course. I want a life. Yeah.

Yeah. While you also want to like somebody. Yeah. I want a normal boy sex life. So yeah, I will respect them. But I can like broadly give them maybe an alias down the road if things get spicy. Love that. Okay. But you'll at least tell us though if it happens. Yeah. 100%. Okay. Good. Yeah. 100%. 100%. My job's more important. Yeah. I was going to say, it's not going to be very interesting if we have to keep those three anonymous. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I will keep you guys updated, but in a very broad sense.

You guys, I used Jordan's lip gloss because it's the best lip gloss in the entire world and now I'm going to be sick next week. Even though you have it right next to you. I bought it. It's like we're doing an ad but we're not. Oh my God.

So everyone always asks me what lip gloss I'm wearing, and this is Fenty Beauty. This is just like a little side thing. I think that this is the best lip gloss to kiss boys in because... Or go on dates in because there's nothing worse than when you're on a date with someone, you're having a glass of wine, and your lip gloss is all over the cup. You know what I mean? It's just so gross looking. Or if you're making out with a guy for the first time, and then you get your lip gloss all over them, they don't want to deal with that. So this is a really nice color just to make your lips look good, but also it doesn't...

It doesn't. In an annoying way. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, do you have Fussy Heat? Fussy Heat, baby! You gotta get the plump. Fussy Heat by RiRi. Blast bomb.

By Batgirl Riri. And that was not an ad. That was just because so many people have been in my DMs asking. And I feel bad because I try to answer them, but it's hard sometimes. We'll let you know when Rihanna actually sponsors the pod. Yes, I'm actually going to go to... That'll be a big day. ...Sephora after work today to probably get more because this bad boy's almost out. You can't be out for your games. And it also looks good on everyone's skin tone, too. Yeah, that's true. That's true. It's a very flattering color. Yeah, you're salt and pepper and it still works.

Okay, so you know how I've been talking to guys lately? I've been talking to like a wide range of age and something I've learned. I am so sick and tired of toxicity. Okay. Like don't get me wrong, like being a little toxic can be fun here and there, but it's more of like there's two. Like I'm so sick of the games. Okay.

Okay. And I'm so sick and tired of girls like filling our minds with these like crazy scenarios of you can never text a guy first if he doesn't pay for like how it was in the beginning of the pod. Honestly, like if he doesn't pay for the first 10 dates, kick him to the curb. Just like these like crazy, unrealistic things. Like if Mean Girl Pod taught me anything, it's to be more realistic. I like that. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes.

So you're defining toxicity in this instance as unrealistic expectations. Like, severely unrealistic expectations. Like, if he doesn't take me out to dinner at a five-star restaurant and buy me...

X, Y, and Z. We don't need that man. We can get any man we want. I'm like, shut the fuck up. I think the first thing about that is if you wrote down on paper, if I was like, describe your perfect guy, the perfect scenario, all that, when you ended up finding him in a year, it's not even going to be

anything remotely close to what's on that paper. It never, ever, ever is. That's like even with getting this job. Like, would you say it was the exact path you had in your brain as your 18-year-old self Jordan? No way. Like, it's so different. So that's with guys too. Yeah. That's why it's so toxic, I guess is the word we're going to use. It's so toxic to like...

Okay, on Mean Girl Pod, one thing that we always talk about is, like, we never want to give, like, a ton of advice. Yeah. Because, like, there's no blueprint. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Are you kidding me? Yeah, like, we don't know. So I agree with that. Yeah, like, I just feel like social media, like, unfortunately it's a lot of females on social media, fill other females' minds with these psychotic, toxic, like, things, like,

Like, just toxicity. And that's, I think, why I was a little toxic when we first heard this podcast, because that's all I knew. I see. Because we had social media and these girls being like,

I can't even give examples because it's just like mind-blowing, but it's like if he doesn't X, Y, and Z, he's dumb. And it's like, who the fuck are you going to meet that does X, Y, and Z when you're 22 living in Minnesota? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean, though? Right. I think you could counter it all, too. Like every time he... If he doesn't hold the door open and pay for the first date, it's like, what if he's a really good person? Yeah.

Yeah. Did anybody think that? Yeah. Like, can't that win? Like, I will say you two have taught me so much. And I don't know if it's because, like, you guys are in relationships or you're good people. But, like, I'm realizing, like, I was a bit toxic when I first started this podcast. And I think it's fun to be a little toxic sometimes in, like, stupid ways. But I'm getting to the point where I'm like,

I can't even handle games. If you're going to play games to me, like, fuck off. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk to you anymore. I think that's the other thing that you just touched on is like sometimes it can be a little slightly fun. But like, I think people go into the group thing thing of the Internet. Yeah. They're like toxic will get me far. And then people start being toxic and then they start spreading toxicity like they're telling it to other people because they have a platform. And that's like where we get in trouble. Yeah. It's like one person saying it and then they cut you almost get addicted to it.

Literally. You have to be the kind of person that can see and be like, stop. Like, it doesn't even feel good inside. Well, and I also think, like, toxicity. Like, some people are bored. So, like, the toxicness gives them, like, the highs and the lows and makes them feel something. Yeah. And that can be addicting. But I'm just learning that, like, the games aren't fun. Like, everyone's always like, but if you don't play hard to get, you're not going to get the person. And something I've realized is, okay, think about all the guys you've liked.

You either like them or you don't. It doesn't matter at the end of the day if they played games with you. No, it doesn't matter. And like we sit here and we talk about how we're so confusing as a species. It's like the sex will be equal. It doesn't.

He makes that like we're talking about finance. We talk about all these things and then and then we're going to chalk it down to at the end of the day. He's supposed to chase you. Yeah, like I'm sorry. That sucks to be a guy because if you think about it to like everyone's if you're not going to get him or her if they don't play if you don't play a little bit of a game, but it's like no, no, no, no, honey. You didn't like the person you liked the game and that's why you're not with that person because like I truly think about the people. I genuinely like to have relationships with there were no games.

it didn't matter if they how they pursued me and i know we're always like but he's being like too nice it's like you don't actually like him that's why if he was nice and you really liked him you wouldn't care right if you really like someone genuinely the games don't matter so you're like all rules like you're like all rules aside like let's just like people yeah let's let's simplify the whole situation yes yeah i like that i and don't get me wrong like i'm very contradicting so maybe i'll i probably will continue games every once in a while

But I was talking to this guy the other day and he was being so weird over text. Like,

being a little one wordy, showing interest and then not showing interest. And I was just like, I'm no, I don't have time. I don't have the brain capacity for this. So I literally text him back and I was like, you are so unbelievably hard to read. And he was like, wait, why? What are you talking about? And I was like, your texts make no sense. Like you're in it one second and you're one word to me the next. And he was so honest. He was like, honestly, I'm just so bad at texting, but I really enjoy talking to you and has nothing to do with you.

Huh?

That was like a great answer. I know. That's why I'm like, sometimes too, the games that we think as females are just boys being dumb. The miscommunication. That's the whole thing. You can't... Sometimes it is games. Yeah. Sometimes it's miscommunication. Sometimes it's a shitty past. Yeah. Like, we don't know. Yeah. And now I've been texting him for a while and like, he might not answer for a day and like, if I didn't know he was really bad at his phone, I'd be like, oh, he's playing games with me. He's playing so hard to get, but really he's just...

literally so bad at texting. And he'll text me in another day and everything will be fine. 'Cause we communicate it. - Right. A couple weeks ago you were talking about not being eager. - Yes. - So what do you think, what's the difference between not playing games but also not being too eager? - Not playing games and not playing games. - So I think there's a difference of between that where if you're eager,

To me, eager is like you see someone in the next year like, oh my gosh, I had so much fun. Like, when can I take you out again? You're such an amazing girl versus, hey, it was so great to know you. Let's talk for a few days. And then maybe like three days later, be like, hey, do you want to grab drinks this week? You know what I mean? It's just a little less calm. Like you still have... You're just being honest. Yeah. So for a good example, actually, I'm talking to another guy and...

He and I have been back and forth trying to find plans to see one another. He's been very forward in seeing me, but he's not acting too eager. He still has a life. He's still busy, so he's very open. Like, hey, I'm gone this weekend, but I'd love to see you next week. Versus, I'm gone this weekend, so can we try to fit it in before I leave? You know what I mean? Would that be too eager? That'd be a little too eager. Okay. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? Yeah, but would you appreciate that if you did like him?

Or not. I feel like we're going into rule land again. I don't know. I think it's just, like, a vibe, honestly. It's just a vibe. It's just the difference between being confident and straightforward and then being, like, a loser. Yeah, easy and eager. Yeah. Yeah, like, no one wants someone who is like, this is where we start to contradict. No, I was going to say, some people want eager. Some people it's good for. But maybe it's not for you. I think it boils down to, like, this is compatibility, actually, I think, literally at its core. Some people want...

somebody that's eager and then that's gonna work with the person that wants the eager person works with the person that wants me it's eager otherwise it's just like if we're all being ourselves then we'll just bond with the person that we're like truly compatible with wait that's actually so valid because I really do appreciate in somebody somebody who has their own life and that's why I probably don't like eagerness where I know some people who are very in or very dependent and

And they like eager because they like to depend on someone. There are, we probably all have friends that would love an eager guy. Yeah. Love one. But that's not your guy. That's not my guy. So we can rule that out right at the beginning. So it's good to know. That's good to know. I know. Sometimes I forget we're all so different. I think there's another form of toxicity though. In like, in terms of like less about relationships, more about like the mental health aspect or like who we, like how we are as people.

Does that make sense? I consume it in some podcasts. I'm trying to think of an example. I think I kind of think, you know what? I think the basis of the toxic stuff is all these different rules because I think it gets confusing, like about how to be a friend, how to be in the workplace, all these different things. And I feel like sometimes we look, are you getting hot? It's so hot in here. Do you think sometimes we like,

When you were younger, that was like way more fun to hear because it made you feel better about yourself. And like you felt when I was younger and I heard toxic podcasts or I was around toxic people, I gravitated towards it because it made me feel normal. The older I get, the less I gravitate towards that because I'm looking more forward and I don't relate to it as much. Yeah. And I just like want to get it out. Do you feel that? No, I love that you said that because I feel like toxicity and rules and games are

Just give us like subconsciously give us excuses of why we're not meeting the right person or making the right friends or getting the right job. If that makes sense. Yeah. Like holding yourself to it. Like I'm all for giving yourself grace, but you can also hold yourself to a standard to like move forward. Yeah. Or two very different things. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I truly feel like we only just throw the games out because at the end of the day, I think it doesn't matter if you play games or not. You like someone or you don't like someone.

Oh, it's it. You'll know. Like, did you and Graham play games? No. Did you and Mike play games? No. Yeah. Point made. Mike drop. Mike drop. Yeah, because I think about all the guys I like. I didn't play games with them. Or I had relationships with that I didn't play games with. And then the guys I did play games with, we lasted maybe a month.

Yeah, you know what's so much more fun than games? The honeymoon flirting phase. Like, get there. Okay, you want to know something that's so... Wait, wait, okay, what do you define honeymoon flirting phase as? Like, what time frame?

Oh, very early on. Like, you're not playing games, but you're like, okay, let's all, like, you bring your group of friends and I'll bring my group of friends and we meet up at the bar. Okay, do you want to know something so funny, Alex? What? I'm with you and I love the beginning stage of a relationship. I think it's so fun and flirty and hot and sexy. I would say 80% of the population hates it. So many people I know are like, I just wish we, like, it's been, like, six months we already know each other. I'm like, what? What?

Really? I'm with you. I like all of the phases, but I think the game, like, that's the worst one. But do you want to know why we probably like it? Because the people we've been in relationships with have been healthy. Yes, that's very true. And a lot of other people, their honeymoon phase was so toxic because there were so many games being played that they never knew what they were doing. It wasn't quite honeymoon. Yeah. That makes sense. It does make sense. I love a good honeymoon phase. Mm-hmm.

That's fun. And then you get it all over again once you get married. Oh, 100%. Yeah. That's the best. That's the best. So guys, guess what? What? Well, first we have to quick talk about... People love that we talk about sober activities because a lot of people struggle with that. So what's your sober activity of the week? I've been going to so many restaurants sober. How do you? That's really difficult to do. Yeah. It's like...

I want to make it a priority to go out to eat in New York because there's so many fun restaurants and the weather's good. And because I lived on the RV for two weeks, I've been feeling super girly. So I like love getting dressed up. And I'm like, let's just go to restaurants. But I don't want to drink every night. So we just go sit down, have a nice meal and then go home. And it's been so much fun. And you've been doing a lot of self-care, too.

Like facials and nails. Self-care. Yes. I'm trying to figure out my summer wardrobe. We're literally like the opposite right now. Like you can tell I'm getting ready to leave. You just came back. You're going into it. Yeah. I'm back. Yeah, that's right. What about you? What's your sober activity? So similar to Alex of like the taking care of yourself, I'm getting my hair done.

And I feel like for females, like that's an activity. I'm excited. So great to get your hair done. So excited. I would say just like getting my hair done. Honestly, this whole week I've been sick. So I've literally been laying on the couch in my bed for 72 hours straight. And it's been really wonderful. Your sober activity, I guess, is watching the dropout. Yeah, the dropout. Yeah, yeah. That was fun. It was actually really nice to have an excuse to do nothing and not feel guilty about it.

Yeah, I really like that. I think these work trips and being sick are better than vacation because on vacation you're like, I'm taking vacation days and it sucks. Yeah, I don't know how much I'm allowed to say. I'm going to say it anyways. I'm going to be gone for the next week.

Starting Wednesday. Starting Wednesday. Wednesday, Wednesday. So after this episode, A.B. and her hubby are going to be coming in. Yeah, we'll have Graham. Yeah. Graham on the pod. Graham on the pod. And I'm going to be doing a little game show. Yeah, so Jordan leaves. Yeah, so that's why my nails are taking off. Yeah. And I'm not going to get my phone for a week. It's going to be wild. So I will literally be... Dark. Dark, which I'm kind of excited about. It's going to feel so nice. Very...

the lights you guys very anxious about but very excited about I think it's a good thing yeah I think it'll be good yeah I'm gonna and then I come back into Memorial Week and I'm just gonna sleep yeah that's great though yeah to have Monday off um but yeah I think that's uh I think that's all we have Alex it was so lovely having you back oh I'm so happy to be here I hope you feel better because I can tell you're medicated up

I know. I'm like slowly dying. I'm like, yeah, anyways. Jordan's going downhill, so we have to go. Anyways, everyone have a great rest of your week. Alex, you should. Do you want to do the whole thing again? Like, comment, subscribe. Send this to a friend. Send this to your single friend. Or, no, send this episode to your friend who wonders about having sex and you guys talk about orgasms. Send it to that friend. That's your friend for this episode. Like, comment, subscribe. Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Instagram.

Subscribe to the YouTube channel. And rate us five stars on wherever you listen to podcasts because we love you and you should love us back. Yes. Because you listened to the whole episode, which means you like us. That was beautiful, Alex. Thank you. Have a great rest of your week, everybody. Happy Monday.