teenagehood, male validation & YouTubing ft. Jordan Theresa
39:52 Share

Mike Tirico here with some of the 2024 Team USA athletes. What's your message for the team of tomorrow? To young athletes, never forget why you started doing it in the first place. You have to pursue something that you're passionate about. Win, lose, or draw, I'm always going to be the one having a smile on my face. Finding joy in why you do it keeps you doing it.

Be authentic, be you, and have fun. Joy is powering Team USA during the Olympic and Paralympic Games. Comcast is proud to be bringing that inspiration home for the team of tomorrow.

Oh, I have the same camera. Don't worry. It's so annoying. And you know what it's got to do with? Capitalism. Mike's Mike was telling me, pick up these names because I do be dropping them. Mike's Mike was telling me that because with Sony cameras, they record the entire thing. You could five hours as long as the memory card holds it. Yeah, it can and they cut it off at 30 minutes for a tax break.

for a tax break yeah like they it's got something to do with the fact that it counts as like a lower model camera so they don't get don't have to pay as much tax I'm like are you fucking kidding me you're making my life hard and their cameras aren't even cheaper it's like they're the same price I thought they were doing it so it's like we're a more affordable option but they're not even doing that those bastards I know it makes me so

Because it's literally like the amount of like, not to toot my own horn, but the amount of wisdom that has been cut off from the 30 minute limit of canon. Like those, it's like the burning of the library of Alexandria. Like I'm never going to get that stuff back. It's lost. It's lost. Like it's just, it's just consciousness and it's gone. Devastating. Those first 30 minutes, you're only warming up. Exactly. That's what I'm getting into things. Exactly.

It's true. And you want to call me up rude. So I think you're actually my first British guest. Oh my God. You know what? This is so funny because I've been watching Derry Girls recently. And when he's like, oh, he's British. So he has to go to a girl's school. He's going to get beat. But thank you so much. I feel really honored to be the first British guest, British derogatory. So what's your opinions on Ireland? Love it. Never. Actually, no, I have been. My Nana's Irish. Yeah.

This is a fake one. I have been. My Nana's Irish. So queen rest in peace. So I went to South of Ireland when I was like five, but love Irish people.

Keelan is my favorite YouTuber ever. Guys, I'm not even joking when I say I have a full on parasocial relationship with you. Wait, what? I watch all of your videos like obsessively. My boyfriend knows like who you are. He's like the Irish girl with the baby. I'm like, yes, yes, yes. Like I've been watching Keelan's videos since I remember it was when you announced you were pregnant. It came up on my suggested. So then I said, and then I got like truly, truly invested. Oh,

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, your baby is my niece at this point. Okay, yeah. That's how it feels. Yeah. You're paying for all her toys with the views. Yeah.

That's it You don't even need to bring presents Like you have already paid your dues Actually I'm really interested to know Because I don't actually I've never gotten into this You know when you're on nights out And I lived in London now I get on nights out and I'd be like What do you think of colonisation? How do they teach Irish history in school? Here? Yeah

No. No, it's not even... I mean, I would like to say I have extremely poor memory of school. Okay. So to take this with a grain of salt, but I'm pretty sure they don't start teaching until like... I remember the specific Irish history that my friends were learning was potato famine. And that was...

Like in A-level. So I, and I didn't, I didn't even do history as a GCSE. I only did history for three years when I was in secondary school. And yeah, you basically learn nothing about Ireland as far of my memory. Okay. And what's your opinion on the monarchy?

Then what? Fucking hate it. Oh my God. Hot take, boom, hot take, boom. I hate the monarchy so deeply. And I think it is actually a generational thing. Cause I was talking to, who was I talking to? I was talking to my friend Mina, who's American about it. And she was like, what is like the general sort of consensus in the UK? I think it's a generational thing, but also your friends are all in echo chamber. Yeah.

Yeah, that's... Yeah. Yeah, so there could be like a bunch of royalists who are the same age as me and obviously I don't hang out with them because losers. Losers. Virgins. Virgins. And yeah, I just...

It's like a generational thing where we're all sort of like, why are we giving money to people who like, what have they done to get that status? I don't understand it. I don't. It's like fake. It's almost made up. It's like we are in this. This is the only thing that makes me believe we're in a simulation because people are just going on going. Yeah. Well, obviously they have to have that wealth. Why? I think a lot of it is actually, I think it's interesting. So I think it's more like the representation of the British family and

I can't say in the sense that without thinking of in the sense that that stupid meme that has literally become a tick of mine. I constantly, whenever I say in a sense that I go, like I literally cannot help it. But in the sense that I think a lot of the people that are like royal family stands, I'd say a small amount of them are true royalists and the rest of them, it's more the sort of representation of Britishness in a racist way. In the racist way of like Britain should be British,

- We're better than everyone else. The subjugation of someone, another group, a cohort of other people so that we can be this great high and mighty people. - Yeah, like stop the boats, that transphobia. It's all sort of summed up into like, and now they've thrown Israel in there as well. And like, it's also, I feel like the large amount of people that really like love or defend the monarchy, it's more they're defending their sort of very distorted idea of what Britishness is to them.

which I think is really daft. We'll stop. We'll stop. That's it. End of the episode. Little mini-sode for you guys. You're welcome. What was it like growing up as a teenager? What, in the UK? I need to stop saying like. Yeah. What was it? No, because like is the word that you use there. What was it like growing up as a teenager in the UK? Yeah. What area are you from?

I am from just outside of North London. So I grew up on like the cusp of North London in and around North London. I think the funny, I'm not sure whether this is the same thing in Dublin, but in London, there's like this big sort of hoo-ha about saying you're from London when you technically aren't from London. Oh, right. Okay. So it's like a real gray area, but I'm from this area that's on the cusp of North London. I was born in North London and I've bounced in and around for like my whole childhood and teenagehood.

And I grew up in a suburb and I would describe it as very boring, very mundane. And honestly, I don't, and again, I don't know whether this is a universal thing, but I had a horrible time growing up as a teenager. And I don't, I don't think it's like a British centric thing, but boys are horrible. And this is something that I like came to, you know, the conclusion of, um,

when I went through therapy and all of this was that you know I remember when I was a beautician loved that job and people used to say oh it must be really hard like working with all women like is it catty is it bitchy and don't get me wrong the girls used to fight the girls used to fight used to get real catty real bitchy but

But my, when I think about, you know, my teenage years, school, things like that, the people who gave me the most grief were boys. And it was really like horrendous, misogynistic bullying, where if I was a boy, I know I would be treated completely, completely differently. But because I was a girl who they didn't think was attractive and I was loud, it's

It was just like, oh my God, get this person out of my peripheral vision. So I cannot even begin to count the amount of like really horrendously misogynistic insults. And I don't know whether that's a specifically British thing or whether I just like had bad luck with the area that I grew up in, the school that I grew up in, because my boyfriend,

he went to school in the same area. He's a boy. Um, and he said he had a great time. So, yeah. And he probably played sports and everything. Yeah. Fucking. It makes such a difference. It makes. If you're part of the team. Yes. Like I was completely unathletic. Like I had, you know what? I had nothing going for me. I,

really had nothing going for me. Well now you have a podcast. So exactly exactly now I've got so much but I had nothing going for me back in the day because my parents they didn't push me you know I sort of had the brand of parents I'm not sure whether you relate but I had the brand of parents where I'm like if you were born 20 years later I'm not sure whether you guys had kids you know what I mean. No no my parents my mom has told me that she was like she but she never felt like she had the option it's in Ireland it was probably slightly different we had the mother and baby homes the Catholic guilt contraception was only legalized in probably

late 80s, early 90s, I think. So they would literally be smuggling in condoms. Who wants a few condoms? Go on. Under the table there. Go on. So there was a lot. And it was always, it wasn't even a question of what you wanted to be when you grew up. Women, it was, you're going to have a family. That's what you strive towards. That's the Catholic way. If you give a man 10, you know, that's a sign that you love him. Anyway, so my mom just thought I have to have kids now. It wasn't even an option. And then she said to me now,

as an adult, obviously she didn't say this to me when I was six years old, I would have never had you. But she said, I don't know if I would have had kids. It was just because that's what everyone else is doing. And I sort of mourn that life for her that she could have had if she was born in this generation where she felt like she had more options and she could be herself and, you know, gone down that avenue, would her life be different now if she didn't meet my, meet my dad. Yeah.

Have you seen that meme where it's like when your mum's talking about her toxic ex, but he's literally your dad. No, literally. I'm like, you're not the only person that's been through shit. But like, yeah, with my, with my, my mum always talks about like how she would have loved to have gone traveling and like, cause she had, she had, she had two kids by my age and, um,

And I just like, yeah, I feel like so sad for her. But like one of sort of the, I guess the byproducts and by effects of having a parent who, she, don't get me wrong, I really do think she was a great mom. But like, I guess it's, I didn't get like the stereotypical sort of parent experience until I saw the way that other people's parents acted with their kids. I didn't get pushed to do any sports. I strictly was told I'm not allowed to play an instrument. Like, and I ended up just,

sort of growing up and kind of skill-less, which I think is why I got into YouTube. - Why do you think that is?

Was it because they were libertarian or do you think it's because they didn't care? I think it's because they just didn't really care and I don't think it was ever in a malicious way. My parents were like very very busy and they were had I had like quite a stressful childhood because of like outside factors and stuff so I think a lot of it had to do with they didn't have the time to take me to things and you know classes and things like that. I remember I really really wanted to be a cheerleader.

And there was like this cheerleading group in my local area. And my mom was like, you can't go because I won't be able to take you when there's all the competitions and the stuff. And I'm like, and then when I didn't realize it was a weird thing.

until I spoke to my friends and all of them had some sort of sport or instrument under their belt or I remember it's happened really recently where a few of my friends like quite a handful actually have started like moving back home a lot of my friends are from London so they rented for a little bit and then they're like why on earth am I paying 900 quid for a room when I can just live at home and I said to them I was like isn't your like mum going to be annoyed that you're moving home they're like no my mum really wants me to move back home yeah I don't have that experience I don't have that experience why would you think that I want you to live with me thank

you like I didn't even finish boxing up my things and my mum already had the peloton halfway up the stairs to turn my bedroom into the home gym like so it's really it's a really like interesting um experience because I feel like I'm in the minority sometimes and I do think that's why I got into YouTube because I was like I have to do something with my time so I do think everything happens for a reason like if I was a clarinet player maybe I wouldn't be making video do you think it's

all youtubers have those type of parents because i'm relating right now are you relating you know what do you think it's a validation thing because it's external validation that you might not receive from your parents because my parents aren't huge on the i'm so proud of you baby yeah no same yeah so i think that maybe that's what it is it's like you're chasing for something uh fulfillment that you're not going to get from your parents but you're getting from other people i think so i think a lot of it's got to do with like

Honestly, I think a lot of it's got to do with attention. I think a lot of people who grew up to be YouTubers were a little bit attention deprived, whether it was in the home, whether it was in school. I remember in secondary school, I was...

I was incredibly unpopular. Like, like I, I had all of this energy. I'm such a talkative person. I was so outgoing, but no one wanted to be my friend. So I had to channel it into somewhere. So that's why I started making YouTube videos. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, that's probably a lot of people. I absolutely think so. Like I have never met a shy YouTuber in my life ever, but there's a huge difference. I think with secure, I think cause a lot of people think confidence is synonymous with security and

But a lot of confident people are insecure. Absolutely. I remember when my therapist tried to tell me two years ago that I had low self-esteem. I was like, all right, mate. All right. Thinking, yeah, yeah. And then two years later, I'm like, damn, he's really good. I did. I did. I had really, really low self-esteem. You can be the loudest, most confident, chatty person in the room. You can be, I think sometimes, especially in like this sort of social media age, we get

being confident in your looks confused with being confident in you as a person you can love your appearance but hate the person that you are inside so you sort of think oh because I love my appearance I'm confident but if you like love the way that you look on a night out but then the day after you're so torn up with anxiety that you upset someone or that you piss someone off or that everyone hates you then you aren't a confident person you just like the way that you look well

Sorry guys, I'm really dropping some truth bombs today. Sorry guys. That really got me good. So then in your teenagehood, you know when you were trying to date and you said that you might not have been the most, I don't know how to phrase this. How did you, what was your experience like when you first were finding out about your sexuality and maybe attracting or attracted to people as a teenager? I remember,

remember as a teenager I had crushes on I always had unreciprocated crushes yeah all the time and I think the worst kind of crush was when I had a crush on this guy and I recently found out he unfollowed me on Instagram ouch um but I had a crush on this guy um and he would like snapchat me so we would he clearly liked me back but he

he would like never ask me out or never talk to me in school or anything like that because he was embarrassed and that was like a recurring pattern until I ended up being in a relate I ended up being in a relationship with someone in my last year of school um which he would agree it was an awful relationship it was terrible we were so so bad for each other um but yeah I literally like when I'm saying I had like I barely went to parties when I was in school I

Barely. I mean, actually, no, that's a lie. I used to go to parties, but I never got male attention. And I remember I, I don't know whether I was boy crazy when I was a teenager. Yeah. I was absolutely boy crazy. I just wanted to be loved so badly. I was actually Googling how to make boys like you. Yes. Oh, big time. Yeah. Alongside with the, am I gay? Girls kissing. The girls.

Well, my first romantic relationship was with a girl. Like I first had a girlfriend, which is so bizarre. I did life backwards. So when I turned 14, I got this overwhelming... I hit puberty late.

Late bloomer. But I remember now reading a book about this. Women experience these negative emotions and this like switch goes off during puberty that never goes back, but you just learn how to deal with those negative emotions and the negative hormones. So we're all just going through it. Anyway.

So I remember going through these and I just cried and cried and cried for months. And then the first person that I felt a feeling for that was happiness and like what you see in the movies was for another girl in my class. And I was going to an all girls Catholic school at the time.

Now, my best friend was a lesbian, so I knew this is okay, this is fine, this is normal. Whereas if I didn't have her, I would have been like, there's something wrong with me, I need to go to conversion therapy. Do you know that kind of way? And that's not because my parents are like that or anything, it's more just the fact that girls are going to think that I'm a pervert. Do you understand? People are going to think that I'm staring at them in the changing rooms getting dressed, where it's like, this is just an innocent thing. Like, can I not have a crush on a girl the same way that girls can have crushes on boys? Anyway, so...

But she didn't want to come out to anyone. She liked me back. We would go on like little dates and Mitch school and hold hands and kiss at the beach and all. And then I started getting male attention, which is so weird. Once I hit puberty, I got tits and whatever. And these older boys, you know, boys go through that phase where they're like younger girls are easier to get. But they're all bald and obviously disgusting now. But anyway, yeah.

Then I started getting male attention and I just wasn't interested in women at all. And I don't know what happened since then. It's like, I literally, I have dated girls since then. Um,

but my experience with romantic relationships has changed so much since I've started getting validation from men. It's like, I can't go back. I will say male validation is like crack. Like I cannot explain like how good it feels to have male validation. And it's literally like, here I am like, you know, Oh my God, feminist queen, whatever. But I,

love a little bit of male validation when I find out that men find me attractive it's like it's like the you get a massive endorphin rush if I leave the house and I look nice and not a single man honks at me from his van I get offended which is outrageous it's absolutely outrageous because if they do honk I also get offended so they can't really win but yeah it's I know exactly what you mean I also think it's like mmm

I remember I was talking about this with my therapist and I was saying about how when it comes to men and women, I think I have a relationship. This is like,

I feel like I have a relationship preference for men. I have a preference for men in general, but I have, I think I would like prefer, I always say, oh, I think I'd prefer to be in a relationship with a man because I like to feel like I'm being looked after kind of thing. Even if, you know, I out earn most people that I know and, you know, no one can really look after me. I'm always going to be like the breadwinner and like the career girl. But I like that sort of sense of having someone that's like taller than me, bigger than me,

manlier than me kind of thing so like a protective sort of yeah I think that's a primal thing maybe well I said I've said that and he was like hmm maybe it's because you have a bad relationship with your dad and I'm like oh fuck I thought I was in therapy like I hate when my therapist does it like a little bit of therapizing so I'm like for fuck's sake we're just meant to be mates like don't you get that like I know I'm paying you like 60 quid a session but I thought you were my friend so I I thought there was a good thing going here I'm not gonna have a few laughs why aren't you laughing at my jokes

So how many relationships have you been? I've been in three relationships. And have you had really bad breakups?

I don't know. I don't really know how to sort of toe the line. My first breakup was like bad in the sense that, in the sense that it was like such a toxic relationship that I was just suffering. Like I wasn't like in love with him or anything, but I was so addicted to that up and down sort of like tumultuous relationship. And then the second breakup wasn't actually, I mean, it wasn't that bad for me because I wasn't in love with him again. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I wasn't in love with him anymore. I'd been with him for three years. I'd stayed with him probably about a year too long, I'd say. And it's like one of my biggest regrets that I stayed with him for too long. And it happened. I broke up with him over the phone in lockdown because I couldn't go and see him. And he was like really like very, I actually bumped into him the other day. I haven't seen him for three years, bear in mind. And it was a,

lovely experience. Like he was super, super nice. We chatted away, saw his sister. His mom was in the car, went to the car and say hi to his mom. Like it felt like a very healing experience. Cause for a long time I felt really guilty because I think that he was like really mad at me. So I felt like I was carrying around a lot of guilt from that breakup. Yeah. Yeah. And do you think you were with him maybe for the security? I think that a lot of people, um,

stay with their partners because they're so scared of being alone. They're so scared of like, I think it's more scared of the unknown. A lot of people won't even entertain the idea of breaking up with their partner, especially when, you know, with my second boyfriend, he was like the one where I met him and I would describe it as like love at first sight. Like it was that we, he walked me home and we spent, bear in mind it was midnight and he's walking me home from our local Wetherspoons.

And we spent four hours sat on a bench just talking. Like it was like that instant connection. And I remember I like texted my friend and I was like, I've met the love of my life. I've met the man that I'm going to marry. And then I think when the relationship began to break down and I began to grow and we sort of began to grow apart,

I think that I was, it was more, I was struggling to let go of that idea that I was going to marry him. Yeah. And I think that's what I really struggled with. And I think that's why I stayed for so long. So I was like, but this is the guy that I want to marry. Like I want him to be the love of my life, but he just like, you know, the person I was when I was 18 versus the person I was when I was 21 are two completely different people.

So do you think it was because you had this idea, idealistic view of yourself being with someone? You know, we met in my early 20s and then we had, do you know? I think I know what you mean, but I also do think I was craving a bit of a slutty phase. I felt like I'd missed out. Didn't even get to have a slutty phase after that because after that, my first post lockdown dick appointment was my now boyfriend. Oh, for fuck's sake. I know.

I know, to be fair, not even trying, clearly. But yeah, I think it was like difficult to let go of that fantasy. And also I think I was so scared. I didn't have a lot of friends and he was like my best friend. And I thought we would be able to be friends after that, but we didn't end up being friends. But obviously ran into him recently and he's doing very well as am I. It was great. Got to say hi to his mom. I was talking to my girls, my girlfriends about it. I was like, oh my God, like I ran into bleep.

I ran into it redacted and it was so nice to see him and then he like he was like oh my god my mom's in the car and I said hi to my mom I had his mom and then my friend Karis was like Jordan if I found out that my boyfriend ran into his ex-girlfriend and she went and said hi to his entire family I would lose my shit she's like you're the problem but it's actually so it's actually so toxic of me though isn't it obviously I mean it with good intention no my ex-boyfriend's met my baby

You know, my friend needs, Karis, you got to suck yourself out, girl. I suppose if you know there's no underlying feelings there for that person, it's about knowing your partner and what you trust them with, I suppose. If I had an inkling about someone else, you know, you just get the sixth sense and you just have that person maybe. No, I don't have that at the moment. Obviously, I'm just all over the place.

I'm just mothering right now. But you know when you get the inkling. Mother. Mother. I am mother right now. But you know when you get that inkling about another person or you're a bit iffy about them or a bit paranoid and then your partner could like be playing into it a little bit or something or leaning into it for the attention. I don't know if you've ever experienced that. But I did get that with one of my partners before and it's like he would play into people that he knew fancied him.

I hate that. I feel like I haven't experienced that in years. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, I feel like now that I'm in like my mid twenties, I feel like I, do people still do that? No, this, that was years ago. No, no, no, they don't do that anymore. They don't do that anymore. If they do, I'm not even aware of it. I'm just like, things go over my head. La la la. La la la la.

always think it'd be so easy to cheat on me because I have such like bad perception of situations like I'll meet someone I'll be like oh my god they were so nice and then so I was like oh my god you know she used to sleep with your boyfriend I'm like oh but she's still lovely like do you get a yeah what what's your do you get like a first instinct when you meet someone first instinct of what again sorry like do you know if you

Like I get myself in situations where I go on like friendship dates. This is over the past few years. This has happened to me. I go on friendship dates. I get really close to a person and then I'm going, I don't know if they actually like me. Do you know? What is in like paranoid that people hate me? No. Um, do you get like, do you go off people's energy? How am I, how am I asking this question? Um,

How do you come to a conclusion about another person? Do you have to... Are you straight away, I don't like you? Oh, no. I don't like people like that. Yeah. I think that...

I think you just cannot tell someone from a first impression. I will say that like when I dislike people, I do try to give them a good chance to see if I can like them. But I think when I dislike someone, it's like, oh, I just don't think they're my kind of person. But I think I'm never one of those people that's like, oh my God, I just got a bad feeling about them. Yeah, it's too harsh. I have terrible instincts. I have like the worst instinct ever. Like, oh.

I like I because I remember I used to be like that all the time when I was a teenager and you know when you're sort of like trying to create a personality for yourself yeah and you know when it's like you're testing things out yeah and you're like trying to give yourself quirks yeah well you're like oh my god like that's so blah blah blah like I want people to like think of something be like that's so Jordan yeah

Jordan like so I'm like trying to build this personality for myself and I used to be like oh my god I'm such I'm such a good like so good at sentencing people out judge your character yes that's the word I'm such a good judge of character and then I would be like oh my god I've just got a bad feeling about them six months later they're literally my best friend so clearly I've got shite shite instincts yeah I think everyone should give someone a chance but I do think that when after like I'd say the good six months if I still don't like the person then I'm like

my hateritis truly flares up. Yeah, your hateritis. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I'm going to steal that. Please steal it. It's too, it's such a good description to describe like, oh my God, that was such a dumb sentence. But it's like so good to describe like, oh my God, stop lying. Hateritis is flaring up. Hateritis, it's so good. I think since I've had my baby, I don't know if it's because I'm too focused on her, but it's, I don't have an opinion of anyone anymore. Oh, interesting. It is really interesting, but I don't know if it's because

I'm just too focused on me and her right now or if it's like everyone, I have a new perspective of the whole world and everyone around me, especially my own parents. And you'll probably experience the same if you ever want to have kids. Your perception of your parents will change so much because you'll see them from a new light that you wouldn't be able to experience unless you have a child, you know?

It's crazy. That sounds like I can imagine exactly what that's like. Yeah. As I've grown up, I feel like I feel like this year I'm 25. I feel like this year is like a really transformative year for me. You're fully cooked. I am fully cooked. Like the prefrontal. Is it your lobe? They're free cooked.

Cortex? Yeah. Whatever's in the front of my brain, oh baby, it's firm. And I feel like this is the most formative year of my life. And one thing I've realized is how much I hate gossip that I'm involved in. I hate friends that constantly talk about each other. But I love the gossip when it has nothing to do with me. Yes. Like me and my friend Jack, we were talking about this situation that did not involve us at all. And we were talking about it like, oh my God.

And then he just turns to me and says, this is delicious. Perfect. Wait, it's like the, have you seen those two? Like, have you seen those two? It's like, oh my God. Like hearing the words, can I be a bitch for a second? Is like music to my ears sometimes. But it's about sort of, because I think you can get a little bit

lost in the source of gossiping sometimes yeah I think you can get hopped up on each other's energy and egging each other on each other on and I think this year I am trying to like really sort out my style of gossiping this sounds so stupid exercising my gossip um traits or my gossip section of my brain like figuring out what's what sort of

What sort of gossip do I really like? What gossip type? Like, I don't like gossip that involves my friends or me. Unless it's something like, oh my God, did you hear that blah, blah, blah slept with blah, blah, blah. You're like, oh. Yeah, that's innocent. Because it's innocent and it's not hurting anyone. I hate the whole, oh my God, did you hear what blah, blah, blah did to such a fucking bitch. I'm like, they're meant to be my friends.

I hate that kind of gossip. Love when I found out someone, two people have slept together in the friendship group. Oh, that's good. So good. Hate celebrity gossip because I think it's boring. So I'm like, I don't know these people. And I found that from being on the internet as well. People actually just make shit up. Yes. People will point blank make shit up. But do you know what? Do you know those like blind items? Yeah, they're all made up. Yeah, they're all made up. People think on the internet, it's so...

disconnected from reality that people run away with themselves and it becomes so much more dramatic than life actually is for example if a couple breaks up people will make up things he obviously cheated on her he's obviously left her or something more bigger everyone always thinks there's a bigger story behind anything that happens on the internet when in reality it's just like they might not love each other anymore they might have just gone in a different direction completely and i think something that the internet has gotten really hopped up on in the last couple of years which i i

And even when I talk about it on my podcast, people say that I'm mollycoddling men, which to be fair, men aren't always the ones that cheat. So I don't know where it comes from, but I don't understand. I mean, I do understand, but this very recent like deep demonization of cheating or leaving your partner for someone, I like totally understand that a lot of people's anger towards it comes from a place of like genuine trauma and upset. Yeah.

But also, you know, I don't think obviously, and obviously some people do just cheat to cheat because they love to lie and they're horrible. But also like life is not as moralistically black and white as cheating bad, staying loyal, good, leaving someone for someone else bad, right?

Etc, etc, so on and so forth. Because sometimes people can cheat and regret it. People can cheat and feel bad and feel guilty and feel genuinely remorseful, even if they do still want to leave their partner. People can leave their partners to be with other people. And it doesn't mean that they are

a horrible horrible person and i hate this whole sort of notion like i think of ariana grande and the fact that she gets so much shit for the fact that the guy who fucking in spongebob in the spongebob broadway musical whatever his face is left his wife to be with her i'm not saying that that's not like a bad thing to do but also i don't know i don't know i think like we don't know the situation we're not there we don't know the complete ins and outs of the situation but i'd love to know your opinion

I actually don't know. I've never thought about this too much because I actually have cheated on a partner before. And it was more so the fact that I felt trapped in the relationship and I didn't see a way out because every time I tried to break up or communicate that I don't love, because I still loved them. Mm-hmm.

but I wasn't in love with them and that felt more harsh than cheating on them. Is that horrible? No, I understand. That for me, and in fairness, I was only 18. Yeah. But this felt like the easy way out for me because it was, and I didn't mind demonizing myself because it would probably be easier for, now, this wasn't my understanding at the time. I wasn't like, it's easier for them to get over me if I do something bad. I'm not going to

pretend like it was actually a favor that I was doing to them um but it was more so the fact that I wanted an escape and I didn't know another way out and it wasn't like I wasn't going around cheating on them I just mean like yeah okay I got with someone who I had a crush on in work you know when you have like a work husband always watch out for the work husbands and those those crushes that you have when people whilst you're in a relationship go crazy yeah it went it went crazy too much pink gin it went crazy and

It was just, I ran away with myself and I felt so terrible after, but we are still friends now. So that is, I suppose, is a testament to the fact that he was able to look past that and be, have a friendship. But in terms of other cheating, like for example, my dad left my mom for a younger woman. So I have a really unique perspective of that sort of thing where, yeah,

I supposedly, I suppose I loved my dad so much that I could see it from his perspective. And I loved my step-mom. And that was the thing because it was more, I was able to humanize her because she was a tangible person in front of me. She was also contributing to looking after me at the time because I was living with my dad. So I couldn't exactly demonize her. But then I felt disloyal to my mom. So it is very convoluted in the sense that ever, you know, there's so many emotions involved. Yeah. Yeah.

And there's no right or wrong, as you were saying. Yeah. But I want to love everyone equally. But also my own moral compass is getting in the way of that where I can be harsh and be no, you're a bad person and you've you've fucked up this time. And I suppose because in that circumstance, I was a child. I wanted to love both my parents. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

No, I mean, fellow child of, I mean, my parents were never married, but child of separated parents, step families, always feeling like torn between, like, I didn't feel torn between my mum and my dad. I felt torn between my stepdad and my dad.

because I was like, my stepdad's been my stepdad for as long as I can remember. I don't remember my parents ever, ever being together. Like I only, like when I, like I remember they used to obviously come together for my parents' evenings and stuff and it used to feel weird. Like, and when I use the sentence, my mum and dad, it does not sound right to me at all. Like it feels weird. It's always been my mum and my stepdad, mum and John, dad and whoever he's dating at the time. Yeah.

insert name here um but yeah i always felt i guess this like sense of guilt that i was really really close with my stepdad and i wasn't very close with my dad and it even sort of comes out when i have to sort of talk about things like you know if i get married in the future you know who's gonna walk me down the aisle but that's such a fucking archaic thing that we do giving your child away it's perverted i'm sorry you're not getting a full

a fucking cattle or a piece of land in return for me so why are you walking down the aisle that is something I know I will never be doing I mean it literally puts me off just getting married because I know it's like a whole rigmarole and I just can't be bothered for like the I guess the emotional labour of like having to bring together my step family with my dad's side of the family and

No, it would be too... I'm more of a city hall job. But maybe that's because I have... I never had a friendship group. I always had singular friends from different...

of my life that I'm, you know, and then they've all moved away. So we've all been separated. So it feels like I don't have a community of people sometimes that I could invite to a wedding. I'm very like, I believe that weddings are such a waste of money that I'm like small as possible. But I have so many friends

that I think would be really offended if I didn't invite them. So it's like, who makes the cut off? Who doesn't? So I think... Harsh. I mean, I don't... I mean, maybe I'll just never ever get married just because it seems like so much hassle. But yeah. And how was puberty then for you? If you didn't have... I suppose you didn't have... Because I would just take out puberty. I would take it out on partying, I suppose. And being like...

oh god I'm literally trying to remember I literally have such hazy hazy memory I didn't hit puberty until really really late I didn't start my period till I was like 15 yeah same like and it was and it would only come every six months I know I loved it I felt like I was on the pill uh it was great but yeah I I honestly like I don't think I did my proper like growing up until I was like

18, 19. And then when I fully started getting into the swing of it, fucking lockdown happened. So, but you know what? I really, really don't regret it. Like I, you know, I sometimes feel like I missed out, especially when I like compare it to other people's teenage experiences. You had like these crazy teenage hurts, but I do think that everything happens for a reason. And I have had like such, you know, formative, wholesome, uh, you know,

and early 20s years. And also I didn't like stunt my brain growth by doing loads of drugs when I was like 14 or something. Yeah.

Wait a sec. No, honestly, I think it's more the serotonin. It's just like, am I so depressed because I did drugs when I was a teenager? Because we don't know, probably. Someone do a test on my head. Yeah. Now, immediately. It wasn't too often. It was like once or twice, but when I was feeling defiant. Yeah. You know, as a teenager and my friends are doing it, I was like, oh, this is cool. You're like, oh. Now, as a mother, I'm like, oh, dear God. Yeah.

Your perspective must completely change of like your own teen years when you look back at how you were as a teenager in the perspective of now that you're a mom. Are you like, oh my fucking God. Yeah, I'm like, I'm such an idiot. I was going doofus, doofus, doofus. It's just, yeah. And then I'm worried for my, because it's more, it's not even the fact that

oh, if she goes out with a certain type of group or, you know, she'll be peer pressured into things. I know from being a teenager, that's not actually what happens. It's your own willpower being like, I need to try this and curiosity. It's not never, you always think peer pressure is someone going, ah, go on, will you? Go on, do it. Don't be a pussy. That literally doesn't happen. It's literally just in TV shows that that happens. That never, ever, ever happens. If that did happen, I'd probably have way more fun when I was a teenager. Yeah.

Go on, take it. Most of the time when you're a teenager and when you're an adult as well, no one's encouraging you to take their drugs. No, definitely not. Get away from me, you sponger. Get your own, for fuck's sake. But no, it does really change a lot. Growing your business can mean big time logistical questions. Like how are we going to keep up with all these local deliveries? Let Uber Direct offer you a helping hand. With Uber Direct, you take orders on your website, app or by phone.

Then drivers who are part of Uber's courier network, pick them up from your store and deliver them to your customer's doorstep. Sounds simple, right? Uber Direct helps you give your customers what they want, when they want it. Offer them delivery options in under two hours, on the same day, or scheduled up to 30 days in advance. Plus, share real-time tracking and ETAs by text. You can keep growing your business at a price that works for you. Never pay commission or hidden charges. Just pay a fixed fee per delivery.

Delivery just got better with Uber Direct. Learn more at uberdirect.com.