Cryptids
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Welcome to Theories of the Third Kind. Welcome to Theories of the Third Kind. My name is Aaron and I am one of your hosts. There are two other hosts that are joining me today, of course. Daniel-san. Yo guys. And Anna. Hola. So before we start today's episode, I just want to say like always, we do not run any ads on this show or take any money from any corporations. So if you would like to help us out, then there's a few ways that you can do that.

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Or you can go to our website, theoriesofthethirdkind.com, and click on the contact button, and there you will find our email addresses. Also, on our site, you can click the voicemail button and leave us a voicemail anonymously with your phone, and we will play it at the end of the show each week. So today's episode is cryptids.

How this episode will go today is that we will first cover a quick overview of what are cryptids, the first report of cryptids in history. Following that, we each selected two cryptids that we will discuss, so six in total, and then after that, we have some notable mention of some cryptids that are not on our sixth list, and then wrap it all up with our personal thoughts and theories. So with that being said...

Let's get into today's episode. So we're going to go over what are cryptids. Cryptids are animal-like creatures that are rumored to exist, such as Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, Yeti, and Chupacabra, to just name a few of the thousands of different cryptids that are supposedly out there. Over the past hundreds of years, there have been various reported sightings, historical claims, grainy images, and sometimes even videos of these creatures.

Now, just to be clear, cryptids are not mythological creatures, for example, like unicorns, which are not considered cryptids because they are accepted as myths. Cryptids are animals which some people think could actually exist. Now, before we get into us talking about cryptids that we each picked, let's start to discuss some of the first reported cryptids in history.

Just so everyone is clear, when you hear individuals talk about cryptids, you will often hear the term cryptozoology or cryptozoologists. These terms mean the study of cryptids. These terms were created by an individual named John Wall in 1983. Even though the term was created in the 1980s, the study of cryptids has a long, complex history way before the 80s, spanning across several centuries.

The very first historical documentation of a cryptid came from translations of ancient Greek and Roman texts. These ancient texts had descriptions of minotaurs and women with snakes as hair. They had goat-man hybrids and beings that could change their shape. Yeah, there was a lot of other things that I found, but I didn't want to dive too deep into the historical finds just because I didn't actually know what... Well, I knew what pics I had, but I didn't know what pics y'all had. So...

How this next part will go is that we each, it's kind of like Theories Thursday if you're familiar with it. We each picked two of our favorite cryptids and didn't tell the others about it. And we dove deep into researching it and then we're going to tell each other about them. So that's why I kind of didn't dig too deep into the history of it just because of that, you know. So who wants to start off with the first cryptid?

My first one's a little bit short, so it'll get us started. Ooh, get me a little warmed up. All right, let's hear it, Dan. What is this cryptid called? This one is called Sheep Squatch. Wait, Sheep Squatch? That is correct. Uh-oh. Sasquatch and a sheep. Okay. That's right. A.K.A. White Thing. That's racist. Oh, God. I mean, that's what they called it, okay? So I don't know. Okay.

It's been spotted in numerous counties in West Virginia, mostly in the southwestern part of the state. It's described as a white, woolly-haired creature quadrupling the size of a bear. Long pointed head like a canine, but with saber-toothed tiger-like teeth. It has horns similar to a young goat and has paw-like hands similar to a raccoon, but way longer. So I guess it almost has like a thumb, but doesn't, kind of.

Okay. So it's interesting. Do you have any drawing or renditions of this creature? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. The drawings I found aren't too good, but I mean, this one right here is not bad.

I'll take a five-year-old drawing of this. I just need some sort of visual. This is probably the best one of them all. Oh, God. Okay. That looks terrifying. That thing looks terrifying. Oh, my goodness. Imagine that thing chasing you down. No. Because the first picture I found of it was this one. It kind of made me laugh because I'm just like, that doesn't really seem too scary. Those look like two completely different cryptids.

Okay, so the first image looks like a skeleton of a horse's head with giant ram antlers and a bear standing up with hooves. Porcupine looking quills. It looks like a crazy Pokemon. Like Sandshrew. That'd be one scary Pokemon. Yeah. But of course, I can't forget that it has a tail. For some reason, a lot of these things have tails.

I did find that two cryptids I did pick, they both give off a sulfur-like stench. Which is interesting. But the Sheep Squatch, you know, with that scent that it gives off, it goes back to where the folklore of it being born within the TNT area in Mason County in West Virginia. So I guess they're trying to say that some kind of experiment or like how Godzilla came about.

Oh, okay. But most people think that the scent gland that it has is like what you find in skunks and weasels. I guess probably like a self-defense type thing. I got a couple sightings, a couple eyewitness, I guess, sightings of it. The first one was in 1994. A former Navy seaman stated having witnessed the beast breaking through the forest, the white thing breached the brush line and knelt to drink from the creek.

Here it drank for a few minutes before crossing the creek and continuing on toward the nearby road. The witness stated that they observed the animal for a while before it moved on into the surrounding brush. Then within the same year, two children observed the creature while playing in their yard within Boone County. What they reported having observed looked like a large white bear, yet in this case stood up on its hind legs.

Making it over six feet tall, when it was startled by the children, the beast ran off through the forest, breaking medium-sized limbs off of trees in its path. I have a tough time believing children would not run away from something that looked like that. And the fact that it would run away from children first. Yeah. Unless it's not supposed to be seen, then that comes first. Yeah, it might not have enough interaction with children or...

round people and it's like, oh shit, what's that? I mean, that's my first reaction. If I would have seen it, it's like, oh shit, what's that? I would have taken off. I would have just been like, I gotta find out. No, thank you. No, those hoof claws, whatever they were, those look terrifying. They do. Creature almost reminds me of Baphomet. A little bit, yes. Similar. And a lot of people actually confuse the sheep squatch with a wendigo.

Oh, okay. Which the Wendigo is way, like way bigger and most, and it's mostly like skeletal figure. What is the Wendigo again? Oh, it's kind of like a skinwalker, right? It's like a reindeer. It's like a human looking reindeer. Whoa. With some really long arms and huge hands. Boy, I bet he could give a good back scratching.

Oh, yeah. Anyways. Okay. So they confused that one with that. I could see the similarities, right? Both absolutely terrifying. Yeah. But 1995, the creature was next spotted a year later, 1995, this time involving a car. A couple driving through Boone County observed a large white beast sitting in the ditch alongside the roadway. As many curious passerbys might do in such a situation, they stopped their car to get a better look at it. No, most people don't do that. But anyways.

They came to describe the creature again as mostly similar to earlier descriptions, yet they added that the creature had four eyes. The creature leaped out of the ditch and started to attack the car. Frightened by the attack, the couple drove off quickly and once they arrived back at home, noticed large scratches on the side where the beast had attacked. I couldn't find any pictures of that. How do you explain that to your insurance company?

I had a, uh, sheep squatch scratch the side of my car. I'm sorry, sir, we don't cover that. They'd probably write it off as a bear.

Probably. I mean, if something could scratch, I mean, it's weird that it is frightened of children, but attacks a car. Yeah. Hmm. I mean, it could be a territorial thing. Ooh, it could be. Yeah, it could be territorial. Who knows? All right. Another incident in 1999 involved a couple of campers who were in the forest at night again in Boone County. So now we all know where not to go. If you don't want to find this thing or it finds you, they were all sitting around a bonfire. Bear fire.

around a bonfire. They eventually heard an animal snorting and scuffling around the camp in a manner similar to an aggravated bear, which me and Aaron have heard that before. Oh my God. Yeah, we have rough nights in Maine. Anyways, is that what you guys are calling it these days? Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, just get naked and no, I'm just kidding. No, we had a, we had a bear outside our tent. That shit was scary.

Did you yell, hey bear? No, we were just like whispering. I'm in a tent by myself. Aaron's in a tent with his cousin. This sounds like a good story. We're just like here. And then we're just like, is that you guys? No. Is that you? No. What is it?

Is that a bear? It was scary, man. I was thinking in like, what, how am I going to fight a bear? And you can't. No. You pretty much, because you can't outrun them. You can't out swim them and you can't out climb them. Shit, my first thought was, is who's going to get dragged out of their tent first? I'm just like, I'm by myself. So definitely be me. Luckily that didn't occur. No. Not in that reality. Yeah. Next day we were told, oh yeah, there's a bear around in these woods. Oh, thanks. Haven't camped in a tent in Maine since then.

Though it did not come into the light of the campfire immediately, all of a sudden the Sheep Squatch suddenly charged out of the darkness at the campers. Reacting quickly, they jumped up and ran back into their house, all the while being pursued by the Sheep Squatch.

and supposedly giving chase is a natural reaction of a predator when a creature flees, which seems to be getting more aggressive as the years go by. The white thing stopped at the edge of the forest when they crossed it and let out a terrible scream. It then turned around and headed back into the woods. The next morning, the campers returned to their campsite and the trail home, finding it to be torn up

They referred to it as like someone had tilted up for gardening. Sounds similar to a boar. So something a boar would do. And then 2015 in Folks Run, Virginia, the beast was spotted once again in the forest of the Appalachian Mountains. The creature was spotted close to midnight by six campers spending the night in the dense woods. The beast was reportedly eight to nine feet tall with a shoulder length of four to five feet.

So I guess 4-5 feet just to its shoulders and the rest of its head. One of the campers first saw the beast at the top of the hill nearby in a crouching position. Then it stood up and he alerted the other campers. Then it started running down the steep hill towards the campers, but they were separated by the river that was flowing through. They looked in horror as its search for a way to cross with no other option began to wade through the river.

It finally came out of the water and the campers reported that it appeared like a bipedal dog in the chest with its fur wet from the river crossing. Then a loud gut-based screech was heard about two miles off from where they were. Then the sheep squawks looked up in shock just high enough so the moonlight was in its face. And the campers looked on in fear as it let out a pathetic whimper that in a sprint ran in the opposite direction of the noise.

So something else, something else scared it. So you gotta think. I mean, what's their natural enemy? I mean. Sasquatch. The sassy squatch. Yeah.

The daddy. Yeah. So the campers quickly packed and left and reported it to the locals, fearing that if the authorities were informed, they would be ridiculed. The identity of the campers is unknown still. But yeah. So it leads into that there's another cryptid out there in the Appalachian Mountains near Boone and pretty much the border of West Virginia and Virginia and all that. Something else scarier than the f***ing sheep squatch, even though the sheep squatch itself is...

Pretty terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Maybe it was a Wendigo or a Sasquatch.

I like to think that Sasquatch has a bunch of kids, a bunch of like all these cryptids are just offspring of Bigfoot, right? He's just out there just having random sex with all these random animals creating offsprings. Oh, that's a nice sheep right there. Well, thank you for your cryptid story, Daniel. I guess we'll each take turn and we'll go back to you after we each tell our one. So we'll tell one each.

And then go back and tell one each again? That works. Okay. Well, Anna, what do you have for us next? I have a short one, but it doesn't have a ton of history like yours with sightings and stuff. But the story behind this is pretty cool. So my first one I'm talking about is the Groot Slang.

Have you guys heard of him? Sounds like a rapper. No, I haven't. I mean, when you say Groot slang, I think of I am Groot, but he's in his teenage years throwing out that slang. His little teenage angst, Groot. Yeah. It's like, whoa, language. But no, other than that, no.

This Groot is not as cool as Groot, baby Groot or adult Groot. So Groot's slang, it is a creature that comes from a deep cave in South Africa, specifically Richtersveld. This creature is primordial, so that means that it's been around since the beginning of Earth itself.

And it is believed that he was one of the original creations when they were learning how to make animals on this earth, creating life. And so when they were making it, they put what is essentially an elephant and a snake together.

And this creature, I know it sounds crazy, they were said to be 40 to 50 feet long, and their scales were black as night. But most of their, well, there's back and forth. You either have pretty much all elephant body with a serpent tail, or it's a serpent with an elephant face. And it's got tusks and a trunk. It looks really weird.

This creature was so smart and powerful and really cunning that the gods started to fear it. And they separated the Groot Slang into two creatures, the elephant, the first elephants, and the first snakes. I could show you a picture of rendition. Show us a picture because I'm debating in my head what it would look like.

And I don't know why I was thinking of an elephant standing on its back legs, arms like this, and just have like a snake head just looking around. Pretty sure that's not it. Okay. So here's one version. Not as terrifying. Dude, that one is terrifying. Yeah. That was the one I was going to show next. Dude. So.

There's the two different versions of it being more elephant or more snake-like. I came across this one and I'm like, what the hell is that? The more elephant one looks pretty cool. The more snake-like one?

Yeah, that looks like a playbook from the Devil's Handbook right there. That thing looks horrible. Terrifying. It almost looks like off the movie Alien, the little thing that pops out of his chest. Hey, this is on Final Fantasy XV. It's a boss. I did see that they have him in some video games. Oh, yeah. All right. So when they...

realized the Groot Slangs were going to be too powerful for this earthly realm. Like I said, they split them.

Well, somehow a Groot slang got out and or any of any that have been born have come off of this one. Don't know how it repopulated just by itself. Maybe that's what happened back in the day. I don't know. But in this cave, it's called the Wonder Hole or the Bottomless Pit. The Wonder Hole. And. Wonder Hole. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. And what's even better about this cave is that it's filled with diamonds.

And it said that this creature is obsessed with gems and diamonds. And if you go in there and you were to be confronted by this Grootslang, that it has a very cruel demeanor and it will kill you no problem. But you could beg for your life and barter with gems and diamonds.

Because that's how much he likes them. So he's protecting that cave because it's encrusted in diamonds. But you can also buy your stuff out if you ever were to be caught. That's what I was going to say. So we need to carry a bag of gems and diamonds with us at all times. Yes, exactly. I guess you can't barter with the diamonds you find in the cave. Oh, no. I think if you try to take them. Oh, I've already had those. Yeah, he's going to know. Dude, I just realized that second picture. I didn't notice the floppy ears on the snake. Yeah. It almost makes it cute.

Almost. Who's a cute snake? Who's a cute group slang? Who's a cute group slang? It's the trunk on the chin reminds me of like when they get a little chin goatee that just keeps growing. It's just wispy. I wonder if that's how it drinks water. Oh, well, I tell you those fangs or old tusks, they look like horrible fangs. I would not want that thing to bite down on me or constrict me. All of it. The whole process of dying by that thing looks horrible.

It looks like it could slam its head on you or slam its head backwards and impale you. Yeah. Man. That's a scary one. That's a really short one, but the story behind it was just really cool. And to bring it back to being a primordial creature, I was like, I got to bring this up. This guy's too crazy not to talk about.

Yeah, he's crazy looking, man. That's, oh, man. He'd be a good D&D monster to face. Oh, yeah, I'd like that. Man, if we only had more time to play some D&D. Oh, yeah. Aaron, what do you got? All right. So I have an interesting one, a cryptid called the Flatwoods Monster.

Either of you heard of this cryptid? No. No, I have not. I was skeptical about this one until I heard the story, and then I was like, whoa, okay, I'm going with this one. All right. So this all starts on September 12th, 1952, in a small town of Flatwoods, West Virginia. Okay? Okay.

At 7.25 p.m. that night, there were three boys, 10-year-old Tommy Heyer, 13-year-old Ed May, and his 12-year-old brother Freddy, and they were all outside playing football at the Flatwoods School playground. As they were playing football, they looked up into the sky and noticed a round object engulfed in flames flying in the sky above the playground.

The boys then said that the object on fire stopped and then turned east and continued going and landed on top of a nearby farm.

So it seems a little weird. I was like, where does the cryptid come into play in this? Yes. All right. You're alien esque vibes. Where's the cryptid? Yeah, it's coming. He's coming. Trust me everywhere. It's sticky in here. So, of course, the boys decided to go search for the object to see what it actually was.

Now, before they got to the farm, like on the way towards it where the object landed, they stopped by the nearby home of Kathleen May, which was the mother of the two boys in the group, Ed and Freddie.

And they ran inside and they told her, hey, we're going to go up there and see, you know, about this object that landed. Well, at the time, Kathleen had her younger cousin, Gene, who was visiting her and he had his dog with him. And Kathleen said, hey, me and Gene and his dog are going to go with you just to make sure you make it up there safe. Because it was starting to become dusk at that time. And the farm was a little ways away. I think it was like half a mile away from their home.

So the boys were like, OK, let's go. The group went out and started walking towards the farm. And as they approached the hill, they noticed a hissing sound. So I started to dig into interviews that Kathleen gave. And she said in her interview that this hissing sound.

It was like a mixture of frying bacon and taking a silver dollar coin and hitting it on a tin can. So mix those two sounds together. Frying bacon, the sound of that, and then take a silver dollar coin and hit it on the side of a tin can. That's what she said it sounded like.

That's what the sound was coming from the hill. So as they continued walking, Gene's dog ran ahead of them out of sight and suddenly began barking. A few moments later, that dog ran back towards them, passed the group up completely, and continued back onto the house, yelping the entire time, running in the opposite direction. At that point, I would have been like, screw that, and went back to the farm. But anyways, they kept going. Holy shit.

They walked about a quarter of a mile until they reached the top of the hill. Now at the top of this hill, about 50 feet to the right of them, they saw a large pulsating ball of fire. They also said that there was a strange smell which overcame all of them that made their eyes and nose burn. They said it was like a sulfur type smell, which is odd because the sheep squatch is

sulfur like smell right yeah so they said they said after they smelled this sulfur smell and it was burning their eyes and nose

that they started to look around and nearby this pulsating ball of fire was a giant oak tree. And Gene, the older guy in the group who was the younger cousin of Kathleen, the mom, noticed two small lights near that tree. And he took his flashlight and aimed it towards those two small lights towards the tree.

Now what those lights were, they were actually two large eyeballs. And what it revealed was a giant 12-foot tall man-like figure with a round red face that was surrounded by a pointy hood-like robe.

This human-like creature had no legs and was floating in the air, but he had long arms with claws and he was staring right at them with giant reddish-orangish type eyes.

Of course, the group like stood there in shock, right? And after a few seconds of them being standing there in shock, this being emitted a hissing type noise and started gliding towards the group. And then at the last second, the creature changed direction and headed back towards the ball of fire. At this point, the group fled and ran back to the house. Of course, I would have done the same thing.

When they got back there, Kathleen called the local sheriff, Robert Carr, and reported what had happened. After she called him, she also called Mr. Lee Stewart, who was the owner of a local newspaper, and told him what had happened. So the owner of the newspaper, Mr. Stewart, was so intrigued that he actually left his house that night and went straight there after he got the phone call.

When he arrived there, he interviewed all of the people that were there who witnessed it. And then he asked Gene to go with him back to where he seen this pulsating light. So him and Gene went back there and they reported that there was this sickening burnt metallic odor that was still there. But the pulsating ball of light was gone. It was completely gone. Um,

After they came back to the house, the sheriff Carr arrived with his deputy, Bernal Long, and they searched the area separately from everybody else, and they reported finding no trace of any encounter or anything.

So early the next morning, that newspaper owner, Mr. Stewart, decided to go back to the site for a second time during sunlight. And he discovered two elongated tracks in the mud, as well as traces of a thick black liquid, which he said he had no explanation and never seen any type of liquid like this before. So that is the famous story of the Flatwoods Monster.

And I do have images of it, of the actual drawing that Kathleen and Jean did of the being. And here it is. It's a good artist. Yeah. So I really started digging into this and I wanted to see if I could find any interviews or any like personal accounts from other witnesses or anything. And I did come across a few. But

A person was interviewed a couple years ago. His name is Wally Hefner. And he was a young kid at the time. Now he's like an old man. But he gave this interesting interview about what he saw that night in the sky. And I figured we could take a listen to it. It's a minute and a half. So we're going to go ahead and play that right now. Back in 1952 when the monster was sighted here in Flatwoods,

See, I was 13 years old going to school in Burnsville. But that evening I was sitting on a bench and I glanced up and a ball of fire came right across heading towards Flatwoods. It was so much lower as what caught my attention. It was reddish orange and went very fast but I knew

As low as it was, just clearing the treetops, that it was going to land someplace close, somewhere very close to our camp. So, yeah, that's the interview. By the way, I didn't stick that horrible music on the background. That came with the interview. Don't lie. Don't lie. You did it. You wanted to make it good. So he said that. So I'm like, okay, there has to be some more accounts, some more strange accounts of this being. And there was two more.

The mother of Jean, her name was Eugene. Imagine that. She said that on September 12th. Well, hold on. Let me back up.

So Gene, when he went back home, he told his mother about what happened. And she's like, that's weird. That same night at around 720, my house was violently shaking and my radio just cut off for 45 minutes and I didn't know why. So I thought that was pretty weird. Another weird thing that happened that could have a connection with the Flatwoods monster was that a week prior to September 12th,

A story of a mother and her 21-year-old daughter was in the newspaper, and it said that they encountered a creature with an odor and a similar type of appearance, and that it affected the daughter so badly that she was confined to the Clarksburg Mental Hospital for three weeks.

Damn. I thought that was interesting. You know, the Flatwoods monster? Yeah, I'd never heard of him before. I figured he was like a good UFO slash cryptid, you know? That was a good combination. I liked it. Yeah. It looks like, okay, so it looks like the Iron Giant a little bit. A little bit, yes. He does. Yeah. Just that image, that guy just standing there with his hand out like, yeah, I'm going to shake your hand. Come on. Shake my hand. Shake my hand.

You look friendly. Yeah, I'm part of the CIA. I can help you out. You want to live here on Earth? I can help you with that. The Iron Giant as a wizard. Wait, what? Oh, yeah, as a wizard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see that. Yeah. Good story. I like that. Thanks for bringing it to the table. Thank you. All right, Dan. Now it's back to your turn. What's your second cryptid you brought to us this week? The second one is the Beast of Brave Road.

Okay. Have y'all ever heard of that one? Another one I have not heard of. This one was reported on Bray Road in Elkhorn, Wisconsin. The very first reported sighting of this was in 1936, and it seemed to have, like, kind of, like, I guess, kind of hid, and then it came back in the 1990s. So, like, I guess someone said it was, like, maybe, like, a long hibernation, which I don't understand, but okay. Kind of like Jeepers Creepers.

Yeah, you could say that. That's actually pretty good. I didn't think of that one. Comes out every, what, 20, 30 years to harvest body parts? Yeah. So, the Beast of Bray Road is considered to be a hairy humanoid with canine features. Most cryptozoologists have labeled it as a Bigfoot in order to avoid dealing with the craziness of werewolves. So pretty much this is a werewolf, but they don't want to call it that. Oh, shit.

They just want to go ahead and label it as Bigfoot and just get over with it. But it's also known as man-wolf, bear-wolf, or an indigenous dog-man. So to describe what it looks like, it's said to be about six feet tall with gray and brown fur. Its face resembles that of a wolf with shiny yellow eyes and pointed ears. Its body, though furry, looks like a muscular man. The creature is said to run and walk on all four of its legs or walk.

just its hind legs and it has been seen sitting on its haunches and kneeling like a man does. So there have been many eyewitness accounts of seeing this beast on Bray Road to where the local sheriffs actually have a government file created and it is labeled werewolf. So you don't really see that like anywhere. Do they carry silver bullets just in case?

You know, I wouldn't put it past them. It is Wisconsin. Ooh. Going to get a lot of feedback. Yeah. Feel the burn. Just kidding. Yeah. So a newspaper reporter, or I would say newspaper writer, Linda Godfrey, wrote for the newspaper called The Week. I guess it was like a local paper. She got a report of this wolf-like creature and decided to write an article about it. You know, she didn't really think too much of it. She's just like, you know, I'll write the article about it. Someone called it in.

Had a bunch of like, you know, told me the story that they saw it. And it'll be like one of those fill-in articles. It's a spot that I needed to fill in a spot. I'll throw it in there. She even, the person that saw it even gave a description of it. So she decided to draw it out. And the lady described it. This beast was kneeling almost on the ground like a person would with what seemed to be a raccoon and it's scary as claw-like hands pretty much eating. And I have a picture.

This is the original sketch that she did. That looks like a werewolf for sure. Looks like a werewolf. Weird tail.

You got any sugar inside there? Oh, my God. I like the bottom of it. A certain number of people, good, honest, working folk, had seen something, something unusual, something scary, something hairy, that relished pavement patty dinners. Oh, my God.

What the hell? Yeah. I've never heard roadkill described that way. No. Hopefully it was fresh. Anyways. But, you know, you look at that image. First thought is that's a werewolf. Absolutely. Or it's a mascot to someone's high school. That's true too. Linda Godfrey didn't think it looked like a traditional werewolf. Oh. Because she sees a lot of those. Yeah.

Yeah, she's the one that named it the Beast of Bray Road. She didn't want to call it the werewolf, so she named it the Beast of Bray Road. Didn't want to call it a werewolf, but that's a werewolf. Yeah. Do you have any actual photos, like witness accounts? Like, not witness accounts, but witness photos or photographic evidence of this beast? I don't think there's really any. Not that I've seen. Well, there seems to be. Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me. That's a dog walking.

Yeah, that looks like a poodle. A poodle that's been trimmed and everything. But the only weird thing is, though, it's arms look... Yeah. That thing looks weird as hell. They look like bones for arms. Weird. Yeah, it looks like a husky butt. Yeah. Fluffy tail. Looks like he's wearing a tunic. Yeah. Kind of does. A fur tunic. I've been a hunter and gatherer for 25 years.

The more I look at it, the more scarier it gets, this image. Yes, the more you actually look at it. I'll admit, if I was out in the forest alone and that thing walked up on me like that. It looks like a character from World of Warcraft.

Yeah. I mean, they did make a movie about it, and this is what they made it look like. It's like a crossbreed between different animals. It didn't fit in with the description at all. It looks like Swamp Thing. It kind of does. That does not look anything like the description. And is that messing up people's Christmas lights in that image? Yeah, I think it... How dare him? What a dick. I'm seeing that, yeah. That's a pain in the ass to put up. I mean, that's the movie...

The movie, what, The Beast of Bray Road? I guess it's a movie, yeah. Well, thank you for that, Dan. Another good one. Yeah.

I mean there was some, I guess I wouldn't really say attacks. Actually I do say one is an attack. Let's see, it was uh... In 1972, there was a police described as an attempted break-in at a property near Bray Road. This was a particularly fascinating encounter with the beast because it was the first time actual physical evidence was left behind. According to the police report, the woman who reported the attempted break-in gave a physical description of a large and terrifying creature

Consistent with previous accounts of the Beast of Bray Road, additionally the beast left a 12-inch footprint behind and inflicted severe damage on one of the woman's farm animals. So he wears a size 12. That's a big foot. That is a big foot. Where was the farm animal hurt? In the rear end? No.

Maybe a little freaky, but there was there was one that I would have been scared. The Gibson story, a lady named Gibson, I guess it's the last name. The beast appeared to have planned to attack her physically. She she reported feeling a jolt against one of her tires while driving home around Halloween time, which prompted her to stop her vehicle and get out to look around for any injured animals. Suddenly, she caught sight of a large beast sprinting towards her.

She scrambled back to her car and she said, as she was driving away, the beast threw itself onto the back of her vehicle, but was unable to hold on as she sped off. See, I don't really believe it. Cause she didn't take no pictures of it. Cause you figured there'd be like some damage to her car, but, but yeah, that's the beast of Bray road. And,

Only reason I picked that one was because when I went to Wisconsin, I remember me and your brother, Aaron, we talked about the Beast of Bray Road because you know how he likes decrypted stuff as well. He brought it up and we're just driving around Wisconsin and they say they usually spot like we weren't on Bray Road, but they said you would usually see it.

When corn stalks were up in the fields, so it was easy to hide in. Well, we were talking about it, and it was nighttime. Then all of a sudden, we ended up on a road where there was cornfields on both sides. And I'm just like, well, this isn't cool. Because I'm actually terrified of fucking werewolves. I hate them. I don't know why. It must have been the scary movies when growing up. But what made it worse was, we're just like, all right, cornfields, okay. Kind of scary, but not too bad.

Then all of a sudden, a thick fog comes in. That's scary movie. And I'm just like, oh, shit, we're about to die. Here we go. You lose all cell service. That's a dead giveaway. Yeah, but I sped down that road. My life was not going to die that night. But thank you for that, Dan. That's an exciting and scary story at the same time. It is. Yes. I like that you guys are choosing ones I haven't heard of, even while looking for choices.

I see one that I've never even heard of before that you are about to talk about next. Yeah, this one I thought I had heard of, but when I actually started researching it, I didn't really remember any of these stories. So the Mossman is my second choice.

So in the swamps of Florida, there's a legend of this man, this being. It's bipedal. It's a hairy creature, stood at least seven feet tall. Unlike Bigfoot, though, this creature isn't covered in just hair. It's covered in leaves and branches. Sniper. I like it. Yes, he is.

So with the branches and the leaves, it's tangled up in the hair, it makes it blend really well for the swamplands of Florida. Reports have been made in the Red Reef Park, West Palm Beach, and Hillsboro Beach saying that they'd seen that creature there. The Mossman sightings have been going on since at least the 1800s.

One such report came about a man, a large man, like a beast, with, like everyone's been saying, a rank odor, and it was covered in swamp grass. Mine didn't say sulfur, just stink.

But at this point, we'll assume it was probably sulfur-esque. Safe to say. I did admit I thought you were going to say swamp ass, but you said swamp grass. You got me on that one. I was ready to start laughing. How about some swamp ass? Well, the swamp ape also... Or skunk ape, sorry. Skunk ape also gives off a smell. So it seems to be a common thing amongst these cryptids. Well...

This Mossman was terrorizing swamps in Clay County area and raiding rabbit pens and the livestocks of residents, prompting a local sheriff called Sheriff Peeler to organize an armed posse of men that just went out to go hunt this thing down. That was their purpose. We're going to find that thing. Yeah, pitchforks. God damn it, Jim, let's get this damn thing. It's stinking it up. I tell you what, Ted.

Ted, we gonna get this sumbitch today. Mm-hmm. Tired of that goddamn branch leaf wearing sumbitch. So they spent several weeks going through the muck, dodging alligators and venomous snakes in search for this creature, but they never found it. Hold on, did you say weeks? Yeah. I'd have been done after like an hour.

Yeah. Well, they probably went Brokeback Mountain style. Oh, okay. Tents are shaking. No more power to them. Whatever they're into. So there were some other strange reports at the time that some fishermen described being attacked by an ape-like brute with leaves and branches covering it. One of the most famous reports comes from 1980 when an elderly couple, they were visiting the Red Reef Park.

They had been hiking through the scenic area. So they saw this being sitting on a branch and they thought that it was just a bird or

Sitting on this branch. But then the bird turned around and showed itself to be this fierce looking face of a moss man. The tree that it was sitting on was its enormous body. The woman was terrified and she'd been close enough that she was legit scared for her life. So she took off running and the big creature, moss man, if that's what he was,

turned back around and just sombered off into the wilderness. I mean, I would be scared if I saw that. Yeah. But this is a little graphic just to warn people, but it's a really interesting story. Okay. So another legend that's even earlier than that.

So according to this tale, in the 1500s, Spanish conquistadors supposedly raped, killed, and beheaded a local native girl.

subsequently tying her disembodied head to a tree, and then that greatly angered the tribe. Their most powerful medicine man then used his magic to call upon the spirits of the swamp to seek out vengeance, after which the girl's head grew to be part of the wilderness and take on human form of weeds, branches, and other vegetation, and going on a hunt to

to get any Spaniards that she could find. Some of the other versions, the witch doctor, he later created his own golem of branches and trees or branches and leaves to keep the Spanish away. And that when his threat was gone, it went off to continue to prowl the swamps to this day.

So it's still alive because it was manifested for a job and it just continues to watch it and make sure that those Spaniards come in there and try to kill any more of their tribe. It sounds like the last picture that Dan linked from the Wolfman movie is what your creature should look like. I gotta look at this again. I mean, kinda, yeah.

Yeah, no, you're right, yeah. I don't have a picture of mine, because no one's caught it. Even if it's a giant tree strolling through the woods, no one's seen it. Well, we're going to get an airboat, okay? We're going to start going through the swamps on an airboat. Well, I mean, those other guys spent weeks doing it, and, you know...

Train trackers. But did they have an airboat? I don't know. Let me go call them and ask. Okay, good. Let me know. And then if they did, then we'll each get an airboat and we'll go try to hunt down the swamp thing.

Our moss man. Can we have like nets connecting each of our boats so if we go by it real quick we can just snatch it up? Yeah. Some Scooby-Doo style shit? Run through some doors that shouldn't connect to each other but somehow do through a parallel universe? I got a big hole in my basement. We can all throw them in and I can just throw lotion down there every once in a while and put it on. You know, just spray him with a hose. Give him a good hose down so he gets all cleaned up. You're gonna be a proper cryptid. God damn it.

Send some shampoo and conditioner down there and be like, once you're done, here's a brush and you can comb that hair of yours. Get the leaves and those tree branches out of it. It'll come out looking all majestic looking. Like Bigfoot. Yeah. So that is the story of the Mossman and his cryptid ways. I kind of like the story that's a bit older. The protector version. I think it's really cool how

It goes back to the 1500s and being able to create the storyline of, well, this girl was killed and then they seeked vengeance this way. I don't know. It could be just like a superstition story, you know, like don't say Candyman in the mirror three times, you know. Oh, my gosh. That type of thing. I don't know. You just reminded me of a Joe Biden meme I just saw. Oh, man. What is it?

Oh, they're just like, if you look in the mirror and you say creepy Joe slow three times, Joe Biden like pops through the mirror and like whispers like, uh, Oh God, what did it say? I would assume he'd lean in and start smelling me. Yes. He starts sniffing you. That's what it was. Oh my God. Oh, sniffy Joe. We have no political affiliations here, by the way. No, I make fun of all of them. No, but.

The Mossman, now that you say the protector story, I legit, I remember watching a start of a show that was like that. It was like a, I forgot the name of the show. It was a while back. Like a bunch of, it was like in a small town. They send, I think it's like right at the end of high school. You go out into the middle of the woods and you have to stay overnight in the woods just by yourself. And this one girl, I think a bunch of guys went out there to try to scare her.

And she ended up falling, I think, like off a cliff or something. And she was about to die, but some kind of creature, protector of the woods, saved her. And I want to say that it like started going on like a little revenge spree. Dude, that's a buff mofo right there. Oh. So this is a picture of the swamp thing. Similar reminds me of... Stone Cold Steve Austin? Yeah, me too.

Pretty much. Yeah. You know what that creature really reminds me of? The live action Spawn movie. If he was green. Yeah, it does. Spawn's a great movie. That was a pretty good movie. I liked the Mossman. I liked it. Thank you for bringing that on. Thanks, guys. That's pretty cool.

All right, Aaron. What's your last one? My last one is called The Ninjin. Have y'all heard of that before? I have. I have not. Okay. So I stumbled upon this one and I was like, okay, this one, it doesn't seem that freaky. And then I started looking at the pictures and I'm like, yeah, I'd be freaked out if I came across this. So I tried to find a beginning for

Like I did with the Flatwoods monster. I tried to like with that one, I went all the way back to its first encounter and I wanted to do the same thing with the Ningen, but it's kind of like unclear when the Ningen was actually first sighted. I tried looking up accounts, but the first official account, it appeared on a website form.

And I know what you're thinking, oh, a website form. I thought the same thing. But okay, hear me out here. So on this website form, an anonymous person made a post and claimed to be an employee on a government well research vessel.

This person said that they encountered a mysterious creature that they were told to be quiet about. Originally, the employee said that the entire crew on his vessel initially assumed that this thing in the water was a foreign submarine. However, when they went to approach it, this unknown large object disappeared.

it started moving and they all quickly realized it was a giant being and it was alive. So he goes on to talk more about this creature called,

And in more detail, and we'll get to that here in a minute, but this specific post on this form, it started to gain a lot of popularity, especially over in Japan. And this Japanese magazine that was pretty popular over there featured an article over this post in, I think it was like in 2007 in one of the magazine articles. So this magazine article is noteworthy, not only because it increased the

The interest of the Ningen within Japan, but also because this article contained a Google Maps image never seen before of supposedly this creature. Somebody went on Google Maps and found this.

You know how on Google Maps you can zoom in and found an image of this creature in the ocean on Google Maps? So before I show you this picture, I'm going to describe to you what this creature looks like, okay? So the ninjin is estimated to be around 20 to 30 meters long. It is entirely white in color and roughly human-shaped.

The reports differ on whether it has arms and legs. Some people say it has five finger hands and some people say it has fins and others say it has like a mermaid type tail and others are saying it has tentacles. There's a large debate, right? Multiple different accounts.

But however, everyone who has reported seeing it all agree that the Ningen has no distinctive facial features to speak of, but it does have a mouth and eyes. Everyone says it has a small slitted mouth and two huge black eyes. So I have an image of what it supposedly looks like, and I'll link that right here.

And then I have an image of the Google map image that I'll link so you guys can look at it. And we haven't mentioned this in the episode, but just like all the images, go to our website and you can see the images. Click on the cryptid.

So anyways, the image of what it supposedly looks like, I can see that being mistaken maybe as a whale or like a big submarine, kind of. Now, the Google Earth image or Google map image of whatever that is in the water looks like a sperm whale, a white Moby Dick sperm whale. Yeah. That's just my opinion.

The first one looks like a seal body. Yeah. Some type of like, what is it? Bottlenose dolphin? Is that bottlenose? Beluga whale? Beluga whale. There you go. Beluga whale. Yeah, like the beluga whale. So this Google Earth picture, couldn't it just be the breaking of a wave? Like a white cat? Is this in the ocean?

Yeah, it's in the ocean. I mean, for me, it's not super clear. Are we talking about right over where the pin is, right? Yeah. Yeah, I could see that being easily mistaken for just a break in the weight. Yeah, the white caps. Yeah, white caps. I don't know. The only reason I say I don't know is because do you see the left of the pin and what it looks like, two fins? That's the only reason I would say I don't know if it was a wave or not, just because of that one spot.

But I don't know that type of photo or photographic evidence is kind of like, oh, that's iffy, you know. So I'm like, I need some more, some more evidence. I need some eyewitness accounts. I need some video. Give me some proof. So I started digging into it. And ever since that article was released in 2007, there have been multiple eyewitness accounts around the world of individuals having encounters with this creature.

Now, even though there is a lot of eyewitness accounts, there's almost no photographic evidence. Now, this is simply because all these sightings supposedly occur at nighttime, which is super difficult to photograph in. They're out in the middle of a rough sea, which how many people go out to sea?

for the fun of it, looking for this thing and have a camera on them. Not many people. And plus it's expensive. And it just, it doesn't, well, yeah, it's super expensive.

So to date, there's been no solid photographic evidence besides that Google map image, which I really don't even consider that solid photographic evidence. I consider that as like just kind of like a mysterious could be a wave, could be a well, but I don't think it's the Ningen. So I started searching. I saw that one. Yeah, that one is like that image you just linked, Anna. I was like, that's a walking tadpole. What the hell? I'd be like, oh, come here, cute little thing. What are you?

Exactly. I dug a little deeper and I did come across a video that may show the creature. And I was lucky to come across this. It is a video in all Japanese. Konnichiwa. And it is a looks like an underground oil rig or some type of underground rig deep undersea.

And they're video recording in 2010. And it's a two minute long video. But I'd say fast forward to about a minute 23. And around a minute 23, you see in the distance something appearing with giant eyes and a slit for a mouth. And it almost looks like a submarine or... But whatever it is, it's huge. Whoa.

It kind of looks like an eel face. It does. It looks very much like an eel. But it's like completely covered in sand as if it's

Hiding in the sand. Camouflaging itself. Yeah, you have, earlier in the video, you have like a squid and you have other animals that you can kind of sort of compare. You can see their size, right? With this thing, you can't really determine how big it is. No, it doesn't look small by any means. Like I would not want to come across it.

While I'm in the ocean. The first comment on that video, it's an Alaskan bull worm off a Spongebob. Oh, yeah. I mean, it kind of does look like it, but yeah. Yeah. So I thought that was interesting. And that's the end of my Ningen cryptid. I like that one. That one's pretty good. Thank you. Yeah, I've never really dug into them. I've heard of them. I've seen some images, but...

I liked that story. Thank you for sharing it. You're welcome. All right. So now that we've went over our personal cryptid picks, there are some notable mention of cryptids that are not on our list. I think, Dan, you have one for us, right? Yeah. You know, of course, I know everyone probably thinks like, oh, Dan's going to start talking about Bigfoot. Nope. I'm not. Not going to. Because if we talk about him enough, we need to talk about his VP.

Chupacabra. We don't talk about him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I want to know more about the history of the Chupacabra. So, the Chupacabra. The first known... I don't like using the word attacks for my VP, so I said feeding. Okay. So, the first known feeding happened in Puerto Rico during March of 1995.

Eight sheep were discovered with their blood completely drained from three puncture wounds in their chest. There was an eyewitness description of a bipedal creature that stood four to five feet tall with spikes down its back, long, thin arms and legs, with an alien-like oblong head with red or black eyes. It varies at times, it seems. This creature, with its first known act of killing and feeding on the goats,

They gave it the name El Chupacabra, which translates to goat sucker. So yeah, I'm not too proud of that name. I don't think he appreciates the translation. I don't think so either. But with the description of the El Chupacabra being released, this creature started getting more reports on it popping up throughout the Caribbean, Latin America, Mexico, and even Florida. So it just jumped straight to Florida. But we know everything happens in Florida. Crazy state.

The moss man was there. Yeah. But yeah, in Puerto Rico, about 30 citizens claimed to have seen the chupacabra. They swore that this one, though, had swooped down from the sky and then was able to leap over treetops, which is a little iffy, but okay. You know. Goddamn gymnast.

Yeah. Then, of course, November of 1995, on a farm in Puerto Rico, El Chupa, that's what we'll call him, struck again. Farmers awoke to a terrifying scene of most of their livestock of turkeys, rabbits, goats, cats, dogs, horses, and cows were all dead. They were all drained of their blood. Only evidence left behind was the mysterious three puncture wounds on the corpses. So, you know, he's, he's very hungry. What can I say?

This reminds me a lot of the cattle mutilation stories. It ties into that too. Skinwalker Ranch. Yeah. Then this one story is really iffy to me. So I throw it in there because I just don't believe it. In one city in Puerto Rico, a homeowner said he actually saw a glimpse of this goat sucker.

It had busted through a bedroom window and attacked a stuffed teddy bear that belonged to his kid. It had long hairy arms and red eyes. It then fled back through the window, but not after leaving a puddle of slime and some rancid meat on the windowsill before it was out of sight again. This thing's been attacking animals and all that. Then all of a sudden now it's confusing it with a teddy bear in the city of all places too. So it's like, eh. Yeah.

Sounds suspish. It does. But yeah. After that first sighting in 1995, El Chupo was blamed for more than a thousand animal deaths, all resulting from blood loss through puncture wounds. And that was just all by the end of 1995. Which a few more eyewitnesses came forward, described it as being monkey-like, but with no tail. So like a Curious George type thing. Chimpanzee. Yeah. Anyways, they said it had large oval eyes that sometimes glowed, gray skin, and

and a long snake-like tongue, fangs, long spinal quills that may double as wings. He supposedly hops like a kangaroo and leaves a foul, sulfur-like stench. Some of the sites where animals had their blood drained, he's left three-toed tracks behind. But, you know, there's another description that I like to believe El Chupo kind of looks like.

It's where he's described as a hairless dog type creature. And of course, in Mexico and the United States, that's where they described El Chupo looks like, where she sucked the blood of livestock there. But a lot of those cases seem to be caused by coyotes with a severe case of mange, which they look like. And if you don't know what mange is, it's pretty much like a hair loss type thing.

where the skin kind of comes scaly, kind of like. It's a condition animals can get. I honestly believe that humans can get it too, I think, if you're not careful. The other thing I was thinking, isn't there, there's a dog called a Xolo Eats Cleanly or something like that that's naturally hairless. And I think it's from Mexico. And I think that they also mistake humans

It's for that. It's spelled X-O-L-O-I-T. You'll probably get it to pop up after that. Dude, those are some badass looking dogs, man. They look like my cat. Your cat, yeah. I was just thinking that. I want one of these. You need a matching pair. They kind of do look like that. There is one video of one of these dog-like creatures, which...

It's really not a good video because it's like they're following behind it. But what's scary, if you started at 29 seconds, you'll catch a quick glimpse of the video where the dog turns its head and looks. Dude, that's a big ass head for that body of that dog. Yeah, it is. He has a long snout. Almost like a donkey nose. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Okay. But yeah. But no, it does look like that.

I don't know how to say that. Zalek's Cune Tool? I think it's called Sholo Eats Cleanly. That sounds way better than the way I said it. Or the way you said it. Yeah. I just, like, butcher it. I didn't... I just know of this dog from my past. So...

I was thinking about how the- I believe I've heard this in a story before, that they've mistaken them. I know one farmer actually caught one, and he sent the remains to a research facility, and they actually found out the one that he caught was actually a coyote with mange. But that was just one of it, and it just- That one, you could tell that it had mange. These dogs are pretty, though. Yeah. Yeah. Aaron's like, oh shit, I'm gonna get me a dog next. Yeah.

Yeah. Nah, I'm done with animals, man. I'm done. So the one that described it as like a gray skin type one, some people actually believe El Chupacabra is one of the gray aliens just feasting on blood. Oh. Well, it connects in with the mutilated cows and stuff like that. Yeah. I like to believe El Chupacabra is the canine type because that would be a good image for a VP, especially running beside Bigfoot for president.

He's a man's best friend. Oh, I like that. Agreed. Yeah. I mean, that's an oldie but a goodie. Oh, yeah. So I almost went with this next one. And I had to mention it as a notable mention just because I was looking for the what was the most science or the most I want to say scientific, but the most photographic evidence you could give me for a cryptid like that.

Out of all the cryptids out there show me the best photographic evidence I want to see it in this Congo snake was by far the best in my opinion the best one for photographic evidence. So I'm going to give you a little backstory of this Congo snake and I know what you think is snake. Hear me out on this one. It's so good. Okay.

So in 1959, there was an individual named Remy Van Lierde, and he served as a colonel in the Belgian Air Force, okay? He was stationed at the Kamina Air Base in Congo. So one day, Remy was returning from a mission by a helicopter, and they were flying over the Katagonga region of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Remy reportedly had spotted an enormous snake as they were flying over the forest, and

A snake that was close to 50 feet in length. That was around 2 feet wide and had a 3 foot long triangular head. So it was huge. I mean, bigger than anything else before. Any other snake ever alive. So upon seeing this reptile...

Remy had the helicopter turn around and do a flyby to get a better look at the snake. So when the helicopter got near it, the serpent kind of like reared up its head as if it was going to strike the helicopter. And the crew that was on the helicopter was afraid that if this snake was to strike it and hit it, that it would make them crash.

So they decided to turn around and resume their journey back to their base. They never officially went back and properly documented the snake. However, on board was a photographer who managed to snap a photograph of the snake from the helicopter. And I have that photograph right there. And that thing is huge.

Okay. It is enormous. And I started digging and I did find an interview that Remy gave of the encounter, which I figured we could give it that a listen to right now. To make several passes.

over the hole where the snake was in, and able to let the man take a picture of it. And I made certainly between four and six passes right over the hole where the snake was in. By then I was already flying for 25 years, so I have a very good experience of measuring things. And I would say the snake I saw there was close to 50 foot. Close to 50 feet. I don't know you say 50 foot or 50 feet, but very close to certainly.

and it was moving inside the hole and looking very dark green deep green brown with his belly white. Now when I came down on that snake in his hole and I would see at about 25-30 foot up the snake raised up by about I would say 10 foot and I could very clearly and closely see the head which was looking and I could not make a better comparison

with a very large horse, with big, very, very big jaws, looking triangular. And you're just standing up like that to me, and I feel and I'm convinced if I had been in his range, it would have struck at me, it would have been striking me. And yet, I would say it was certainly at least, at least on the valley, two foot wide and three foot long. It could have easily eaten up a man.

Yeah, so there has been expert analysis of this photograph, and it is authentic. And they said that...

This is either a massively oversized African rock python or a new species of snake entirely, or perhaps a descendant of the giant snake Gigantanopolis, or however you pronounce that. Basically a dinosaur snake. I was going to ask if this is at all similar to Titanboa.

I would say it's similar to Titan Boa, but I believe Titan Boa had flares. A narrow... Did it have like an arrowhead? No, it had flared out. This snake had an arrowhead, I believe. Let me look up the Titan Boa. I thought the Titan Boa would have been bigger than this thing. I almost did him.

And that's what she said. Yeah, that is what she said. No, you're right, Dancy. I'm thinking of Ark. The Titan Boa on Ark has the flare out. Okay, never mind. Yeah, it would be the size of a Titan Boa. Yeah, that's pretty much how big it would be if you look about how big they are in comparison. Can you imagine that thing coming across that? It would be absolutely terrifying. It would be like the movie Anaconda with Jennifer Lopez. Yeah.

Man, if I was a snake, I would have ate her booty. Straight up. I don't need to be a snake to eat her up. Oh. Oh. All right. So, yeah, that's the Congo snake. Pretty good, huh? Yeah. I like the picture. Dude, that picture is pretty damn good. Like, in the interview, when they showed the picture and when they zoomed out of the picture to get a good look at the full picture of it, you could tell how big that thing is.

Yeah, it's ginormous. So, anyways, do you guys have anything else you want to add to cryptids before we go into just kind of like our sign-offs or anything like that? I wanted to do a plant cryptid because you don't really hear about them. But there were definitely some interesting ones. I'll just say, like, my honorable mention would be the cow-eating tree.

I read about that one. I was going to go with one of those. I was like, I need something really cool from a plant right now. And the stories just weren't very deep. But...

Yeah, I mean, it's exactly what you'd think it is. There's, there was this tree that, there's a cow grazing in India, and the tree reached out with its branches and grabbed the cow and lifted it up, lifted it up.

And the people started attacking the tree to make it release the cow, which it did. And they've saved the cow. But yeah, the fact that it even attempted to grab anything at all and lift it. It's really interesting. And now you're going to tell me it's going to eat a cow. All right. I don't blame them. Burgers are delicious. I love me a good steak. That's what I'm talking about.

But yeah, that was an interesting one. Sounds like some Harry Potter stuff right there. Yeah. I know individuals are probably angry that we didn't mention certain cryptids. And I don't know about you guys, but I definitely think we should do a Cryptids 2 episode.

For sure. There's so many. Yeah, there are tons. And the more like famous ones we didn't mention, of course, Bigfoot, Mothman, all of those, Loch Ness, they'll have their own separate episode. But I think we need to do a Cryptids 2 episode maybe in season three or four, you know, later down the road. For sure. Yeah, I like that idea.

So, yeah. So if any of y'all listeners have any cryptid suggestions that you want us to cover then on cryptids to just shoot us an email with your suggestions. There it is. All right. So that's the end of today's episode. I hope you enjoyed the cryptids. We're now going to roll into this week's on the scene. If you're unfamiliar with on the scene, we have an individual named Hans who goes out to the public and asks them questions and gets their personal opinions on cryptids.

the current conspiracy happenings. So it is Hans on the scene and we're going to play that right now. What are some conspiracy theories you believe in? Enlighten me. Good sir. Not so sure that COVID wasn't done on purpose. Okay.

And I'm still kind of on the fence of having 9-11 on my way down. Oh, shit. You should listen to this podcast. I'm telling you, dude. Theory's the third kind. You love it. Yeah. Listen to the 9-11 episode. Really? Yep. Okay. All right. Well, thank you, Hans, for another on the scene. I know. Love you. I miss you. Thanks, Hans. I miss you, too, even though I just talked to you. Thank you for your on your scene.

Yes, thank you for Hans on the scene. Hans Hammer. Hans Oberhausen. All right. So now we're going to move into voicemails. So the first voicemail we have this week is from Ash. And we're going to play that right now. Good morning, Third Kinder fam. Happy Saturday. I'm starting off my day with a couple mile walk thanks to some fitness motivation from people like Slickers and Young Agamon, Kneecaps, and

Anyway, I'm listening to the Patreon episode about glitches in the matrix and I think I might have had a real death experience rather than a near-death experience. I'm thinking this because afterwards is when I started having more paranormal activity in my life, becoming aware of it, having deja vu, noticing Mandela effects, etc.

When I was about, I want to say 12 or 13 years old, we were at a park and my sister was playing softball. They had one of those practice pitchers mounds that's wood on one side, metal on the other, sitting up against the fence in front of where my mom and I are sitting on a chair together.

We were kind of pissy because they told us we needed to move to the other side because they were changing out dugouts. Well, right after we moved, there was this really large wind gust they call microbursts in Utah. It picked up that pitcher's mound and flew it across the way. And all I heard was a bunch of screaming because some 13-year-old boy had been walking across the way when the pitcher's mound came through. It slammed into him and crushed his face.

Had we not moved, it would have gone directly into my mom and mine faces, crushing our faces in, knocking us back into the cement and crushing our skulls. And I think about that all the time. And I'm wondering if maybe it actually did happen and her and I both shifted to a different universe.

Well, thank you, Ash, for that very descriptive voicemail. I'm glad you didn't get your face smashed in. I'm curious how the boy is. Did he survive is what I want to know. Did the boy survive? And yeah, I mean, I started reading up a lot on quantum immortality. Are you all familiar with that term? Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, pretty much like we we never die. We just in our life, we continue living. Right.

And we won't know what happens to us past a certain age until we reach it. And everyone around us dies, but we don't. So I don't know. You know, that could be it. Ash, you could have gotten off the mound and one reality you ended up passing away. And in yours, you just keep on living.

But thank you for the voicemail. Thank you for the love. Glad you're out getting your exercise on. I'm glad everybody's in the discord helping, helping each other out, showing the love and showing it right back to them. Love you. Proud of you, girl. Oh, yeah. It's always great to hear people making changes for their life for the better. So you keep doing you, Ash. And I mean, we're glad that we have you in this reality now. So let us know how the boy turned out. Yeah, sure.

Dude, I love it when I go into that fitness motivation channel. The goals. People set goals for themselves and then they start going for it. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for the voicemail. Dude, we definitely need to know how that boy is. That's actually kind of scary. All right. So the next voicemail is from Anonymous and it's fairly short. So that's the end of the voicemail. If you didn't catch what was said, I think it was...

I wonder what you all look like. That's what it kind of sounds like, yeah. It's like, I wonder. Yeah, I mean, one day individuals will find out what we look like. But thank you for the voicemail. Leave another one. Yes, thank you. Appreciate you. Love you. I am a sexier version of Kim Jong-un. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's what he looks like. Damn straight. All right. So the next voicemail we're going to play is from Lucy. And we're going to play that one right now.

Hi guys, my name is Lucy. It's a nickname I got since I was a kid. I used to watch that Lucy show. And that's what I'm leaving the voicemail for in regards to that Mandela effect thing. When I was a kid, I used to watch that show all the time. I specifically remember him saying that in those episodes. I've probably seen every episode ever made.

So, yeah, I can 100 percent testify that I guarantee that that that happened, that I remember him saying that in those episodes. I love your show. Y'all are all doing great. Just, you know, just wanted to get that out there. Thank you. Thank you, Lucy. Is she referring to the.

You got some explaining to do that. Yes. I'm glad that you can't be called and confirmed for us that we what we already for sure believed because I know that that that happened. The universe got some explaining to do with its splitting and shit. Yeah. Or whatever it may be. So now I feel like I should have watched that show. You should have some good classics in there. Yeah. But thank you, Lucy. Thank you so much.

Yes, thank you. Love you. We love you. All right, so this next voicemail is from Blaze, and we're going to play that right now. What's up, guys? My name is Blaze, 23, and I love smoking weed. I just love listening to you guys' podcasts, and Bill Gates does have a Microsoft penis, right? You know, nice to hear cool things like funny cute, right? Yeah.

I'm currently using this Bible on my girlfriend right now. Let me show you guys this. Oh, yeah. Watch my teeth at you now. Cool beans. All right, guys. Peace out. Cool beans. Peace out. Yeah. I love you guys. Cool beans, man. Nice. So soft, dude.

All right, Wyatt, thank you for the voicemail. I was going to say, was that Wyatt? Was that Wyatt? So I can pick out background noise very easily. Like for some reason, editing and doing a lot of audio stuff, my ears have like become superhuman and I can, I'm very, I can pick out audio stuff and the background noise sounds very familiar to Wyatt's voicemails that he left.

If it is you, Wyatt, thank you for the voicemail. If it's not you, I apologize and thank you for the voicemail, Blaze. Even though I understood about 5% of what you said, but I do love your accent in Stay Sick, Dude. Surf's up, bro. Talk radical. You guys sound like some Rocket Power characters.

That was a good show. Psych. I know. Like, come on, Aaron. Come on down to my basement. Let's wax our boards. Let's go play with this vibrator dog. That he brushed his teeth with. But thank you for the voicemail. Love you. Leave another one. Yes, thank you so much. We love you. Nice. Much love. All right. So the next voicemail is from Cloud Chewy. It is a two-parter. It'll play them back to back. So we're going to play that one right now.

It's your boy, Glaudy Chui again. I have to send another one because on a more serious note, I did have experience that I want to talk to you guys about. When I was young, I was around 14 years old. I'm 22 now. I woke up to a very sore feeling like if I was just worked out for like 20 hours, you know. And I usually never sleep on my stomach and

I woke up being on my stomach, and I look up, and I see this very tall being standing right next to my bed. And for some weird reason, I did not feel scared. I didn't feel like he was there to hurt me or do anything to me. He was observing me. And I felt really calm, and I just went straight back to sleep.

And I woke up to my alarm and he was gone. I don't know what that was all about, but if you guys could, uh, just sorry, I have to send a third one in, but, uh, if you guys could give me some input on what you guys think happened or what that was, he was, um, he was not a normal gray. He was darker, like black colored and, uh, his eyes were black too. And, uh,

Very skinny. But, yeah, if you guys can, you know, let me know what you guys think happened, what you guys think that is, and it would be greatly appreciated. And I want to know how many times or how long do I have to eat your guys' booty to get a shout-out on Instagram. My Instagram is Claudio Chui, and I also have another Instagram, VagoStreetCruisers. Check them out.

We all love you and we all listen to you. And like I said, keep doing what you're doing. I'll be here listening. And listening to you while I make sweet, sweet love to my fiance. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Cloud Chewy, for that wonderful voicemail.

I need more information. It's like, I want to know how long that being was standing next to him for. What was his actions afterwards? Did anyone else see this being? What happened the night before? I got so many questions I want to ask that...

And it's hard to talk about something like this without having or without being able to ask those questions because you automatically want to default to sleep paralysis. So the sleep paralysis demon or or something like that. But I don't want to default to that. I want to be able to ask him more questions about this, you know. So leave us another voicemail with more details. I need more details in the.

I would love to hear more about it. But thank you for the voicemail. Whose booty do you got to eat or how many times do you got to eat our booties? I don't know. That's a good question for a shout out. I guess it's sort of a shout out. What is it? Vagos Street Cruisers. That's what it was. Vagos Street Cruisers. Go check them out on Instagram. Shout out to them. Love you guys. Thank you. Much love.

Honestly, it kind of reminded me, like first thing that came to my mind was Slenderman. Oh, yeah. Then I'm just like, then he's just like having black eyes and stuff. I was like, okay, no. He said it was like tall, skinny, blackish figure. Then it popped in my head. Shadow people? Oh, it could be.

I wonder if he had a top hat. Yeah. Something we'll have to look into. Need more information? Yeah. I always sleep on my stomach, by the way. It's horrible for you. Like that's... It's horrible for your low back. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's why my lower back hurts all the time. Or either from Dan bending me over. Yeah. Just kidding. Cut that out. I used to sleep on my stomach all the time. And it would be one of my legs were bent...

That it kind of looked like I'd fallen from a building and I was lying on the ground. It's like a leg bent up and an arm above my head or underneath my pillow. That's exactly how I sleep. It's the only way I can fall asleep. I had to break it. Basically, my chiropractor explained to me, I don't have any paper in here, but...

When you lay on a bed, you know, it supports your back and everything. Whenever you lay on your stomach, the bed kind of caves in more. So you create all this. If this is your flat plane, you create a collapsed part where your low back is because it's not supporting the way that it's supposed to. And so you are overextending your low back, creating a lot of pressure down there.

And then you sleep like that for eight hours. So it's like just horrible for you. It's just like compressing those vertebrae together for that long period. That must be why I have SI joint issues as well. Yeah, me too. And I go to my chiropractor twice a month for it. And one of my hips were like tilted because I always slept with my leg upward. The Captain Morgan stance. Oh, yeah.

Pretty much. But now I sleep on my back almost all the time. Sometimes I sleep on my side, but ever since I switched to my back, I've not had the same pain in my low back. I usually sleep on my side, sometimes on my back. When I'm sick, I don't know why, but I have to sleep on my stomach. I feel better and I actually fall asleep faster. So it's only when I'm sick that I sleep on my stomach. I feel like I'd suffocate if I was sick and sleeping on my stomach. I'd feel like I couldn't breathe. Yeah.

Is that a fucking katana behind you? Behind me?

Fine, damn. Oh, yeah, now I see it. That's a fucking katana. Okay. Is that your home defense? Oh, it's a wooden one. What the fuck? What are you like training over there? You got Mr. Miyagi coming over training you? Actually, I am. Okay, cool. So I'll explain it real quick. It's called like the warrior's meditation. It involves like, you know, practicing with the wooden katana and all that while trying to meditate and stuff. Yeah.

So you're going to use that to try to do seppukai? That's not going to work well. It's going to knock you out, though. I'm just kidding. All right. Continuing on. But thank you, Cloud Chewy, for the voicemail. Love you. Love you, Cloud Chewy. Yes. Much love. Thank you for the voicemail. All right. So this last voicemail this week is from Shruti, and we are going to play that right now.

Hi, I'm Shruti from India. And I just wanted to say I really love your show. I've been pretty much alone in lockdown. And it's been amazing to listen to your show. All the stuff I'm interested in, but love the way that you guys present it. So thank you for the amazing work and research and just infusing your humor into it as well. So keep up the amazing work. And just wanted to send you guys all of my love. Thank you for keeping me informed and entertained.

Bye. All right. Thank you for the voicemail and for the love. It's awesome always to hear individuals leave voicemails who are from, you know, elsewhere than the United States. I often forget that we're, we have listeners in like over 160 something different countries. So it's always great getting different voicemails. Anyways, thanks for the voicemail. Thanks for the love. I'm glad we could provide you some, you know, entertainment while,

this tough time is upon us all, you know, this lockdown, it sucks. So hopefully this in soon, but with the way things are going, I don't know, you know, but I'm glad we can be there with you and I love you and I'm proud of you. Oh yeah. We'll keep the content coming. Um, I don't know if you're a part of Patreon yet, but like we talked about earlier, we have 20 episodes on there that you can play catch up with. Um,

Yeah, we appreciate you so much, and I wish you the luck in all your endeavors. Thank you so much for your support with us. Love you, and I'm proud of you. Yes, thank you for the voicemail. And not just those 20 episodes, we also got some blooper reels happening now for some more humor. Some of them are pretty funny. So yeah, glad we could fill your ear holes with some pleasurable knowledge. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Much love. Yep. Much love. So that's the end of the voicemails. We're going to go on to shout outs real quick and then wrap up the episodes. I've got a specific shout out on Instagram I want to give.

It was Instagram or was it through an email that I got? No, it was through an email I got this specific individual emailed me their ghost story. OK, and it's making the ghost stories episode, which is coming up very soon, guys, very soon.

At the end of this ghost story, the person said, I hope your eye is doing better, Aaron. So I want to give a specific shout out to Edsel for saying that, you know, taking their time out to write the ghost story. And then for her to say at the end, I hope your eye is doing better, Aaron, which it is.

I went to an actual eye doctor and got everything checked out. I just got a torn and dislocated cornea. I had to do a re-implant of a whole entire eyeball. But I'm fine now, guys. I can see. Looks totally normal. You know, I got robotic vision. Now I can zoom in 400 times, take photographs, and get automatically uploaded to the cloud. I got a live stream going on the other Instagram. So you guys make sure you check that out. Anyways, it's called Aaron's Optic Eye.

POV. Opti-guy POV. I got a live stream going so you guys can look at it. You know, that's eventually going to come out, right? A live stream. You're going to have a contact lens. You can pop in and just live stream from your contact. Have you seen that Black Mirror episode? Probably, but it's been so long. I can't. Dude, I got to rewatch those. Those are so good. By the way, if anybody comes up with that idea, I want 5% of royalties. Boom. Anyways.

Another shout out I want to give is everybody on Discord. You are all amazing. You're all supportive. It's like a giant family on there. I just wanted to give all of you guys a shout out. You're amazing. Love you all. For sure. All right. Who do you all have for shout outs? Oh, I also wanted to shout out Dan.

For doing my half of the editing last week. Seriously, dude. I think you did. Like, I couldn't see shit. I was like, I don't know how the hell. My eye was absolutely effed for a couple days. It looked horrible. Like, I thought I was going to lose my eyeball. He was a butt pirate for a week. For a week, I wore an eye patch.

And I was like, how the hell? I can't I couldn't even look at a computer screen. I was under covers because I could not look at any light. That's how sensitive my eye was. And I was like, there's no way I can edit an episode. And Daniel edited my half. I'm like, damn, dude, you're going to get a handjob. No, I didn't say that. But I was like, damn, dude, you made me fucking cry.

Love you. Thank you for y'all's support, both of you, you and Ana last week. Y'all really stepped to the plate. We're a team, and I just wanted to officially thank both of you in front of everybody. Dude, you're more than welcome. Come here, let me blow both of you. Oh, I'm ready. Yes, go on. Now, Dan, you definitely carried the heaviest part of the load last week, so I appreciate you for that as well. Yeah. No, it honestly wasn't that bad. Dude, I just, I started on it late, but I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to keep going.

When I decide I can't go on anymore, I'll split up what's left with Aaron and I'm just like, you know what? Screw it. I'm just going to keep going. When I am on it. Yeah, you got like three hours done in a time it took me to do, what, an hour and 45? Like, you were flying. Dude, I have to say, when I set up my mouse to where I just use my mouse to do all the editing, like, you just see my fingers just like, do-do-do-do-do-do.

Yeah, you never, the way he has it set up, you never have to lift your hands or anything. It's all through the mouse with the buttons on the side and everything. Oh, I need to figure that out. I hit one button. It silences. Another one deletes it. The other one just, it's just, dude, I learned it. Aaron taught me. I went from there. Boom. Oh no, the graphics though. I was having a hard time with the graphics. Then Aaron's just like, Dan, you did enough. Relax. I got the graphics.

He did a hell of a job, even with one eye. He still can do graphics. He can. Look at that. Good job, everyone. Teamwork. Exactly. Good job, everyone. This is what a team is supposed to be. All right. I got a couple shout outs today. One is an email that I have yet to get back to, and I apologize for this. I'm looking at it. I need to respond right now. But it is to Cass from Australia.

She messaged me while I was out of town. But she was really sweet and went out of her way to say that I was her favorite on the show and that she loves the boys, but she resonates with my thoughts and theories each week. And honestly, listening to the podcast really pushes her through the end of the week, and she loves it. Thank you so much for all your awesome work. Cass

So I haven't forgot about you. I don't have a good enough excuse to say why I haven't spent a few minutes on this for you. So I'm personally shouting you out on here. I appreciate your kind words. I love Australia and I really hope you guys are doing good. I know you had obviously a devastating time over there, so I hope recovery is going okay.

I don't know how COVID's over there right now, but it sounds like y'all are getting some control issues too over there. Some arrests that don't need to be happening and stuff like that. Shit's catching on fire. Kangaroos are killing people. It's getting cray cray. But really though, thank you so much, Cass. You're awesome. I appreciate your love and thank you for your patience with me. You're awesome. And then I had another email.

from dude Taytay and it's kind of blew my mind really I got this today so this person remembered people talking about how there was next Katrina but for the east coast and they went online and looked it up and it happened on 9-11 and they were shocked by this and they were like 15 or 16 when it happened when 9-11 happened

They said it was just weird because this hurricane could have prevented the attacks by grounding all flights. It turned, and that's weird. And the news of the day disregarded the hurricane event because, who cares at that point, the worst event to ever happen to the U.S. just occurred. But in our reality, it was the terrorist attacks. What if in the other reality, Lower Manhattan was devastated by Aaron? In both realities, the towers fall.

The towers were going to fall either way. A choice was to be made, a hurricane event or a terrorist attack. The towers must fall in both realities, but one has less damage and less deaths. But the consequences between the choices were unknown at the time. They are always unknown until after the choice has been made. When I read this, I was like, what?

That's such a good way to think about it, and I did not have that thought. But, I mean, I did think if they got hit by the hurricane, it would have really devastated them. But I never thought the tower's going down from it. It very well could have. That's a lot of stuff to hit the towers, to continue to make it weak with the water rushing through. I mean, if a plane could take it down, why can't a hurricane?

I don't know. Just a really cool thought about it, especially when we were just talking about Mandela effects and glitches in the Matrix, multiverse type of conversation. Super intriguing. So I definitely want to make sure I shouted him out. Dude TayTay, appreciate you, man. And then I have Bopper Holland.

Was on your page, Aaron. Well, he was on my Twitter page. Sorry, he was on our Twitter page. But he was on your page when 9-11 happened. Oh, saying it happened in 1999. Yeah, because he said that he watched a 20-year anniversary program on TV last year about it. So...

um appreciate you for reaching out i love that people are getting on twitter even if they don't really know it very much just so that they could be a part of our family on twitter as well derrick finally you're on discord thank you for that it's only taking you forever i'm just kidding i appreciate you joining man okay so laura you just started following us on twitter uh i'm so glad that you'd

Like I was just saying, join Twitter to be a part of the family. She just popped back on so she could see what we're posting these days. You guys are amazing on there. Johnny Tsunami, I hope you figured out things with your lady and came to a happy medium to figure out how to both be unionized together. Josh Neville, such a good episode. You guys are the best.

Yeah, so just, you guys are awesome. Keep sending me love, and I'll keep sending it back to you. Nice. All right, Dan, what do you got? Very nice. All right, got a couple shout-outs. I want to say this right. By the way, my name is Seiz. Spells, spells it S-E-I-Z, but it sounds like S-E-E-S, so Seiz. Pretty much, they asked about CERN, and I told them that, you know, we just talked about CERN a little bit.

But I think they would like us to go into more, like do an episode on CERN, which we can see about getting enough information on it. Yes, I agree. But she said, all three of you are amazing and the vibrations all of you send give me tingly inside. Stay frosty. That's good. Then from Steven, shout out to him. He said, I love you and I'm proud of you guys and that we're all amazing. Of course. Then Superhero on Facebook said,

Just wanted to say I'm a big fan of the show. I think you guys really have your craft down. Seriously, I don't think I could find a better conspiracy theory podcast to listen to. That was really nice. Super nice. Definitely appreciate that. Then we have Chris from West Sussex in the UK, and he sent a message on Facebook. He's like, I got bored listening to the radio whilst out checking all the sheep and cows, so looked into podcasts. Found you guys. I'm hooked.

legitimately listened to everything over the last two months and I signed up to Patreon about a month ago. It's proper good. The format is awesome. The story, the facts, the findings, and then your theories. He's like, I've got my parents hooked on you guys too. And his mom signed up to Patreon as well. Damn. So he's just like, he's like, I've got to convince my wife a bit more though. He's like, keep doing what you're doing.

Then he asked when we're going to start sending merch over to the UK. He's like, I'd stick some bumper stickers all over our tractors and pickups to get people on board. We got to figure something out. Yeah. So we're still trying to figure that out, how much it'll cost us to send stuff over to UK without it costing an arm and a leg. I mean, we already tried to send some stuff and it cost Aaron an eye.

No, that's the CIA trying to stop us. Right. They fart on my pillows. They break in, fart on my pillows and leave. So I hate when that happens. Yeah. But he's like, I love to hear back from you guys. And he's like, if I'm honest, it's made me question so much. I've always been a naysayer, but your podcast has opened my eyes. So, you know, we're glad that we can help you open your mind up to, you know, different things. Yeah.

Because I used to be a naysayer with a lot of the stuff. And then the more you dig into it, the more you're just like, well, this world's pretty effed up. I agree. That's all you can really say. 100. Yeah. All right. Well, anybody else got anything they want to say before we roll out? No, that's it for me. Y'all, don't forget, stay lifted.

Nice. There it is. All right. So I want to thank you all for joining us today. And again, thank you for the support. You are amazing. Every single one of you. So with that being said, Dan and Ana, you want to roll us out? Sure will. It's okay to be out of this world with your thoughts. Because you're not alone.

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