Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, Fallon Cancer Cluster, K-129, Marfa Lights – Theories Thursday
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Welcome to Theories of the Third Kind. Welcome to Theories of the Third Kind. My name is Aaron and I am one of your hosts. There are three other hosts that are joining me today, of course. Daniel-san. Yo, what's up? Anna. Well, hello. We meet again. And Hans. Spreading cheeks, not hate.

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Alright, so that is the end of the announcements. So today's episode is Theories Thursday. So if you aren't familiar with how Theories Thursdays work, it's where we each pick our favorite conspiracy theory of the week. We don't tell each other about it and then we research it and then we surprise one another and chit chat about that conspiracy. So we've each brought a wonderful conspiracy to the table today and

And the hardest part of today is figuring out who goes first. So should I randomize it like last week's Patreon Theories Thursday episode? Do it. Yep. All right, here we go. All right, so according to the randomizer list, Anna will go first. Oh my gosh, okay. Erin will go second. Hans will go third. And Dan will wrap it up with the grand slam of going last. So, Anna, what is your theory this week?

My theory, it's actually perfect to go first because I have an appetizer this week. You know why? I have this amazing talent at picking topics that end up being way too big and I spend too long on them and realize they have to be a regular episode or I get halfway through the document and realize it's just boring as f**k. So this one is really cool, but it is like an appetizer. So today I'm talking about Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.

Have any of you guys heard of it? No. Is that where somebody eats mushrooms and gets locked into the state of being in that mushroom-like experience? Small doors. Is it about falling in love with a 12-year-old girl and them writing a book about her? Oh my God. That's what it is. He really did. Really? He really fell in love with a 12-year-old girl and wrote a book about her? Well, damn.

Some people thought that he might have had this syndrome. The more you know. All right, so what is this Alice in Wonderland syndrome? Okay. It's a temporary condition typically where you experience distortion in your perception and you have disorientation. You may feel larger or smaller than you actually are. You may also find that the room you're in or the surrounding furniture seems to shift or feel further away or closer than it is.

The syndrome is known, it's also known as Todd's syndrome because Dr. John Todd in the 1950s, he was a British psychiatrist. Yeah, so he was. He noted the symptoms and recorded notes about them. And he just said they were exactly like Lewis Carroll's novel. You would, you'd look at a toaster and it would become ginormous in the kitchen and

And oftentimes these things literally do last just seconds. But there's cases of people having it for years and they can't drive because they don't know. They can't even cross the street because if they see a car, they don't know whether it's actually right up on them.

Or further away. So it messes with their depth perception. Well, a lot of, it's more than that even. It messes with your every sense. So you can look at a poodle and the poodle will be purple headed, green tailed, giant, walking outside like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. I want this syndrome so bad. I want to see that poodle.

That would be a very interesting poodle. I know some people dye their hair, dye their poodles hair certain colors, but. That just reminded me of what I just saw recently. What's that? People are dyeing their dog's ears, different colors. It's a supposedly animal safe dye. So you take it in like last couple of days. They've been like designing the dog's ears and stuff. It's so random, but it's so weird. I've seen this chick dyeing her pubes. What color? Orange. Oh.

Why? She want to be a crotch rocket? I don't know. That's a good question. Or fire crotch. Fire crotch. Yeah, I was like, wait a second, that's wrong. I mean, I saw people like bedazzling their dog's balls on Facebook. I said, boy, those poor little animals. They're like, what the fuck is my owner doing today? Oh, man. I saw it on Pinterest.

So this condition is known to be mostly in kids, but you do see it in young adults and even in the elderly. So things that you might experience are, like I said, it affects multiple senses, the vision, touch, hearing. You may also lose a sense of time and time itself may seem to move faster or slower.

I have a story of somebody who actually has this condition and has had it for years. And they talk about their experience having it and some things that have happened to them. But in general, doctors can't pinpoint exactly what causes this. They say migraines, which a lot of people have migraines.

And infections. They did like a study where it was 6% of people, 6% of people with previous infections were likely to have this syndrome. Like you can get an infection from anything. Like that's a really weird base to be at. So for me, what I saw it as is they were just asking, have you ever had A, B, C, or D? And people were like, yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. And it just was a coincidence versus most people,

In this study, they said 52% had no common connections. They just experienced this condition. The scientific name for some of these conditions is like a palopsia, which is when you feel objects near you are growing larger or they're closer to you than they actually are. And then the opposite of that is talopsia. Such weird names. That is a very weird name. It sounds like a fish. It does, yeah.

And that's the sensation of objects getting smaller or going further away. The time distortion is probably my favorite thing because people will say it just stops.

They can freeze time or it will be going faster. And this person talks about some of that too. What is it called again? Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. Did they name it that because of the book? Yeah, so Lewis Carroll's book. Obviously she eats the cookies and then drinks the drink and gets bigger and smaller. Because he used these as an example in his work, some people were like, well, maybe he suffered from it. That's what made him think of this idea.

There wasn't a bunch on that that was just speculating. But yeah, it's definitely after the book. So I'm going to read the story from this anonymous poster online about her condition. All right, so this story goes...

When it first happened, I was 21 years old, undergraduate. I had been up late the night before writing my dissertation and drinking a lot of coffee, but on that particular morning, I was stone cold sober and hangover free. I stood up, reached down to pick up the TV remote control from the floor, and felt my foot sink into the ground. Glancing down, I saw that my leg was plunging into the carpet.

It was a disturbing sensation, but it lasted only a few seconds. So I put it down to overtiredness and forgot all about it. It wasn't long, however, before I started experiencing more extreme distortions. Floors either curved or dipped, and when I tried walking on them, it felt as though I was staggering on sponges. When I lay in bed and look at my hands, my fingers stretched off half a mile into the distance.

These bizarre episodes were starting to happen more often, but because I was under pressure to finish my degree and get a job, I continued to put them to the side, figuring they must be stress-related or indicative of poor sleeping or diet. I graduated and took a job as an administrator in a new town, but instead of going away, my symptoms just got worse. Everything was now distorted. All the time.

Walking down the road, parked cars appeared the size of Corgi models, while I'd feel disproportionately tall. At work, my chair seemed enormous, while I seemed to have shrunk. Seeing the world through a fisheye lens made day-to-day life very difficult. Unable to judge distances accurately, I would often move clumsily or overcompensate.

Soon I found it a struggle to leave the house. I had difficulty correctly perceiving the ground, so walking was tricky. If I didn't think about it, I was okay. But as soon as I did, I found myself slumping and struggling to walk in a straight line. Crossing the road began to feel dangerous. When I saw a car coming, I had no idea what size it was or how far away.

By now, I was wondering what on earth was wrong with me. My general practitioner reassured me that there wasn't anything the matter psychologically, suggesting instead that I was suffering from migraines. But painkillers proved ineffective and an MRI scan revealed nothing.

Unable to cope with a job anymore, I moved back in with my parents, and it was there that I caught the tail end of a TV documentary in which a woman complained of exactly my symptoms. It was the first I'd heard of Alice in Wonderland syndrome. Identifying my problem gave me some hope of a cure, but neither my doctor nor neurologist could find any medical record of this condition. The prevailing message was that I'd just have to learn to live with it.

And he did end up learning to live with it for a while. But eventually he ended up having it dissipate and stop. And he was able to live a pretty normal life. And he said to people that he actually misses the condition now that he doesn't have it. Why would you miss that? It's like random trips. Yeah. Like, was it LSD or whatever that gets stuck in your spinal cord or acid? I think that's herpes. Yeah.

So it's like a super, they believe, underdiagnosed syndrome because it happens very quickly. Like the person said, like I was in school, it happened. I was too busy with school to even think about it because it happened really quickly, blah, blah. So there's often times where kids will talk about things being bigger than they are. They feel like things don't look right. But we just think they're kids perceiving things as learning the world, but they could be having this syndrome.

I wonder if it's like when people see like Bigfoot, if it's that could be one of the main causes or some other type of cryptid or creature being. It could be they get into the state that they're unaware of and they see it. You're trying to say that Bigfoot didn't break my hand?

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it was Hans. Maybe Bigfoot's just invisible and this Alice in Wonderland syndrome gives you the ability to see him. Maybe. But here's my theory on it. What if this isn't like a real syndrome? What if all these perceptions, hallucinations are the matrix overcompensating for somebody that's trying to break free?

So it's like, here's the giant freaking, you know, Corgi walking down the road and you're like, what in the world? And you're looking at pixelated stuff. You're like, why is my hand going this far? And you're touching yourself. You're like, that's impossible. And you're trying to break free. Your mind's trying to break free, but the matrix is overcompensating. Like we got to fix this because this dude's about ready to bust out of here.

It's like running patches. Yeah, it's like we've got to fix this. You're going to get banned, which is where they kill you. You get banned from the game, which is life. Execute order 66. You get Clintoned. Oh, well, I like that theory. I think it was just like a really interesting thing. I'd never heard it before besides seeing it in Alice in Wonderland.

And there's a lot of people that have had this condition. And there's no cure for it or anything like that? They don't know of any. It just goes away at some point? Yeah. And then it just comes back? Yeah. Oh, shit.

Remember when I told the story about how I would like be laying there? I'd be like looking at the TV and TV's off. Like, I feel like I'm going into the TV. Oh, yeah. I remember that because other listeners wrote in and said they've had the same thing. Yeah. That was when I was younger. Like now that I'm older, I haven't had that happen. Shoot. Many years. But that was only happened when I was like kid. So like something like that happened to me on the flight up here.

Cause like I was looking out and I got so disoriented, this like, like losing my way. Cause my, we were facing the ocean and I just looked out there and I couldn't distinguish the ocean from the sky. And I was starting like to freak the, you know, that out. I'm like, what the hell's happening? I was like, this is like the Bermuda triangle happening. Nobody's ever going to see Hans again. And boom, like we made a turn and I could see the clouds. I said, all right, we're good.

But like, it felt like I was like going into it. I was like, don't freak out. It's okay. Bad trip. Bad trip, Hans. Bad trip. Dang. That's intense. I would have freaked out too. Yeah. Lady on the plane saying, oh, we only got a little bit of ways to go, but we could still crash. I want to shake your hand. Have you seen that? Yes. Lady said that to her kids. We just landed and one of the kids got up.

out of his seat and she's just like, oh, yeah, sit back down, put your seatbelt back on. He's like, no, but we already landed. She's like, we still got a little ways to go. We could still crash. I literally turned around and just stared at her like, what the hell? Wow. It's a lot, yo, bitch. I'm just kidding. All right. Is that your theory for this week? Yeah, I guess that was a little appetizing, dude. I like it. It's perfect. Right on the scheduled time. Man, this never happens. No. Okay. Well, I already forgot who's next.

You. Me. Oh, okay. You're the Manchurian candidate. All right. My topic for this week revolves around a small agricultural town located in Nevada called Fallon. So this town of Fallon is pretty small. Its population is only around 8,000 individuals. However, despite it only having a small population, it has the largest proportion of cancer sufferers in the United States.

Not only that, but it gets worse, okay? All of these affected cancer sufferers are children diagnosed with leukemia. All right, so this started in 1997 and lasted until 2002. 17 children in this town were diagnosed with leukemia, which is, of course, an insanely high rate since, like we said earlier, the population is only 8,000.

Alright, so the first case was in 97. It was by a young boy named Dustin Gross. Started to get odd bruises all over his body along with little red blood specks on the surface of his skin. His mother noticed this and she took him to the doctor. Now, they decided to do some blood work and they came back and told his mother, look, we got some bad news.

Your son has acute lymphoblastic leukemia that usually only affects children between the ages of two and nine, which he was in that age range. So this type of leukemia causes the production of millions of defective white blood cells, destroying the immune system and is usually fatal. Dustin, of course, immediately started aggressive chemotherapy treatment.

Now, within weeks of him being diagnosed, two more children in the same town came down with the same type of leukemia. So a registered nurse at that hospital thought, oh man, this is extremely odd that three young children had been diagnosed with this rare cancer. So she decided to contact a state assembly person in that town and tell them what was going on. So Dr. Randall Todd, the state epidemiologist, started an investigation.

Now, at the same time as he started his investigation, a fourth, fifth and sixth additional child was diagnosed with the same exact leukemia as the first three. So now you got six kids. So this Dr. Todd, he was like, look, something's jacked up in this town. I need to find a common denominator between these children to see what could have been the cause.

He did some investigating for a little while. However, he just suggested that it was an environmental toxin and that's it. That was his entire investigation. So after he said that, environmental toxin, a young kid named Zachary Beardsley developed the same type of cancer and it made him the ninth child in that town with it. Zach's mom, Tammy, opened up their house to a team of scientists to try to find the reason why this was happening.

Scientists came in, started investigating, looking at everything, but they said, hey, we have no evidence inside this home that suggests this is the cause of this cancer.

So in total, since Dustin's diagnosis, over the next two years, a total of 16 children had developed the same type of leukemia. This made the Fallon cluster. Now, when a lot of people develop cancer, the same type that's very rare in a small town, it's called a cancer cluster. And they're extremely rare.

But this cancer cluster made Fallon the most significant childhood cancer cluster in United States history. So what did the people in the town do? What do you think they did? They went to the government and started complaining. Pretty damn close. They rioted. They wanted answers, right? Well, you'd think they would riot. Speculation started to run wild in the town that something was the cause for this and it was being covered up.

Like, what do you think the authorities did? You think they did anything at all? No. Of course not. Just sweep it under the rug. Well, they kind of did something. Sorry to burst your bubble. But the Nevada State Health Division and the CDC were both brought in, and they started testing the soil and water since previous scientists already came in and tested all the products in the area.

Now, in 2003, so this is many years later, they concluded in their findings, and they released a PDF on this, and you can look it up on the CDC website, that many people living in this city of Fallon received significant amounts of arsenic and tungsten in their drinking water and soil. So did they investigate why they were receiving arsenic and tungsten, where it was coming from, any of that? No.

You know what they did? All the CDC and Nevada Health Commission did was say, we recommend that community members take advantage of alternate water sources until the new water treatment facility is complete. But there is still no present amount of arsenic in sufficient quantities to endanger health, which is odd because they kind of contradict their first part of their statement.

Compared to the second. Arsenic's a poison over time. Yeah. Heavy metal. Of course, many people in the town were like, we do not accept this answer, CDC, which is what they should have done, right? And they wanted the root cause of it. They wanted to figure out why are our children getting leukemia? So the parents started collabing with one another and they started getting independent tests done on their children that had leukemia. And they decided to post these tests online. And I decided to look through them.

They did quite a lot of tests. They did blood tests, urine tests, fecal tests, all of that. Looked through all of them, but there was something that stood out to me. And that is what was found in the children's urine. So the normal levels of arsenic found in urine are lower than 50 micrograms per liter, which is an extremely small amount. Levels above 200 micrograms per liter of arsenic in your urine is considered abnormal and are usually associated with health effects.

Anybody want to take a guess at how much arsenic they had in their blood? Give me a number. 500? 762. I'm going to say like 1,000. All of y'all are under. They were averaging 1,180 micrograms per liter of arsenic in their urine. God bless those. That's almost six times the, or no, that's. How did those kids not just die in general? I don't know. There are some resilient little kids, let me tell you. Jesus Christ.

All right. So now, of course, the state and federal investigators such as the CDC knew this, but they said that it wasn't the cause for this leukemia. So that begs the question, what was it then? What was the cause? And I have a couple theories real quick.

Let's hear them. The first one is contamination. All right. So this theory as to why so many children got cancer in the area was because that the town was subjected to some type of contamination from a huge naval air base that is located only 10 miles away.

So to add to this theory, a large number of military personnel pass through the air base in order to take fighter jet training over the Nevada desert. Now this air base is home to the U.S. Navy's top gun school that, of course, was made famous in the film. And get this, they use around 155 million liters of fuel every year for fighter jet training over the area.

The exhaust emissions from this quantity of fuel is significantly higher than anywhere else in the United States. And to add to this, all that jet fuel that they use at the military base, you think they would truck it in with tanker trucks? They don't. Get this. They have a pipeline that travels directly underneath the town of Fallon and carries that jet fuel straight to the air base.

So this was brought up to the city, state, and federal investigators, which they stated, and I quote, we have no evidence that jet fuel or jet fuel byproducts have gotten into the environment and caused this. But did they test for it? No. I mean, in the military, JPA, which is kind of like the all-go-around fuel because there's no diesel, everything runs on jet fuel.

When you go through the course on how to handle fuel, it's like, hey, this will cause cancer. This will kill you eventually if you mishandle it or get it all over your body. So when we're sitting in the airplanes and then we can smell it refueling? Oh, no. See, that's Jet A. That's different. Oh, okay. All right. See, we got a specialist in here. Like Tommy Boyer at the gas station getting hosed down. It's just, you know. Okay. So I have another theory to this. Another one. Throw it at us.

Now, this theory is called Project Shoal, and it is the cause of the cancers. That's the theory. So what is Project Shoal? Well, back in 1963, the United States military conducted this project, which is where they detonated a 13-kiloton nuclear bomb in an underground test site in the Sand Mountain Range that is located less than 30 miles from the town of Fallon.

However, official reports state that no radiation from this experiment should have ever endangered any individuals in the town of Fallon. Which, meh. I mean, 63, two generations down, maybe? I don't know. But a couple more strange facts and then I'm done with my theory. But get this shit. So for the next five years after that last case in 2003...

Five years after that, not a single case of childhood leukemia was reported in that town. Whoa. Yeah, and this is not the only childhood leukemia cancer cluster around that time. From 1995 to 2003, 11 children in Sierra Vista, Arizona, were diagnosed with the same type of leukemia. And they did some more testing, and they found increased amounts of tungsten in the air located around the city.

I got a theory about this. You said you got a theory behind this? So I grew up near this magical place in Indiana that used to dismantle nerve gas. You know, very deadly, you know, the stuff like if it were to blow up, it probably would have wiped out the whole like five county radius and we all would have just like seized up and pissed and shit and broke our backs and died.

So, you know, funny story. Remember when 9-11 happened? All these National Guard air defense trucks going there to shoot down anything to get near it because it would have destroyed that whole state. So there are different caches that are buried underground, like nuclear waste. Sometimes the government loses track of them. It has happened. There was an incident in New Mexico where a contracting company was digging, opened one up, killed like 10 people.

It won't get broadcasted because you know that obviously, sorry, we killed your family, but sucks to suck. So Jesus Christ sucks to suck. Yeah, that's how, that's how it rolls. And so what there's a, in Utah, there was an incident where nerve gas got leaked into this farm field and killed over, I think like a thousand sheep in skull Valley back in the sixties. They couldn't really say where it came from, but it was,

known to be a testing ground this whole valley. So what if the military buried some stuff and it's just slowly seeping through and that like it separates, you know, like cream from milk. Like let's say like there's like certain parts of this chemical that

That separates from the main component that will kill you because most stuff causes cancer. Cell phones, looking at Aaron. So. Why me? Them radioactive eyes, baby. Oh. They glow into my heart. So like what if there's just one that the military forgot about because people forget about things. Documents get lost. They just don't know or they figured it out. And that's why there's no more cancer.

They figured out where it was coming from, dug it up, and they're like, nothing over here. We're just checking on the pipeline. And it's not the pipeline. It's these barrels. There was reports of them digging up the military and checking on that pipeline and stuff and saying, we dug up the entire pipeline throughout the town. We didn't find anything. And they could have easily covered it up. Yeah, and they just take it. And then they, well, I mean, the facility is no longer active in Indiana, but.

you know, take it to another place where they burn it off chemical by chemical and there's no trace of ever what happened. I mean, that kind of knowledge, you have to have, like, you know, top secret to know, like, oh, well, if this is hooked to this, this is, you must be giving us VX gas. It's in the water. Or it's just that unexplained thing that it's so minute, but it's so dangerous that not a civilian can pick it up or they're like, I don't understand what this is. Freaking solved. Hans, on the motherfucking...

fucking seen solving it poking prostates and taking names nice nice

All right. Well, that's the end of my theory. I like that. Thank you. That was super good. All right. Hans, you are next. All right. Have you all ever heard about the CIA kidnapping a Russian submarine? And it's no, it's not Hunt for the Red October. No. Okay. So at many points during the Cold War, we were close to, you know, World War III.

People thought it was really close with the Cuban Missile Crisis. Well, the most unknown story is about the K-129. It was a diesel-electric Russian submarine with, I think, like four ballistic one-kiloton nuclear missiles on it. So, yeah, it's a Russian submarine. So 1968, the sub is sent on war games or the war patrol. Like every sub, it's, you know, running silent, running deep.

And every week it's supposed to check in with a short transmission burst, you know, two second, like, Hey, we're here. And then they find the location and like, okay, well, two weeks into their patrol and they go silent. The Russian Navy does not understand where they've gone. So they go, they send a whole fleet out to the last known location of the sub and they search for, um, I think it's like three weeks. They don't find anything. So they're like,

Sub must have gone somewhere, or it's gone rogue. Around the same time that this sub sends its last transmission, the U.S. underwater surveillance system that they had on the coast, which could pick up Russian subs leaving Russia, so there was no, like, sneaking up. There was always a sub to follow that sub. But nobody followed this one because it wasn't within the U.S. water. Well, they hear an explosion, a loud one, and they're like, what in the hell just happened?

you know, like, are they blowing stuff up? So they start noticing all these Russian, you know, battleships, cruisers, and they're in this one location, but they can't, they're like, they must be looking for a sub. So once they leave,

The United States Navy sends out a deeper condescension sub to patrol the area and find what is supposed to be there. What year was this? 1968. Yes. So they send out a deeper condescension sub and they're pinging the ocean floor. They find a Russian sub about 16,000 feet below the ocean. Yeah. So they're like, these guys are dead.

And so then, you know, they report back to the DOD. Hey, there's a sub at the bottom of the ocean. Wonder what happened? Well, the CIA gets involved and they're like, you know what? We're going to steal this motherfucker. So for the next four years, they enlist Howard Hughes, the big aviator at the time, to commission an oil rig, quote unquote, to go grab this thing from about three miles down. In the process of grabbing it,

Once they do, it breaks in half, supposedly. So nobody knows really what happened. So we're going to get to the good part of this. It's all been good. I enjoyed it so far. So I know some people that were there or that were commissioned on it that I will tell you straight up, that sub didn't break in half. That was just a story to give back to the Russians years later when the Cold War fell, like, hey,

We put some of your guys, you know, to rest at sea. They were kind of radioactive, so we put them in a lead-lined coffin and sunk it to the bottom of the ocean. They showed a video of that to whoever the hell the dictator was at the time. But what they find out through sonar, through sending one of those, like, little unmanned subs down there, is that

The nuclear ballistic missile doors are wide open, and there are two missiles in the launch position, and there's holes blown out in the bottom of the sub. So they're like, wow, this thing was about to launch because the doors are open. You don't open the doors unless you're, you know, once you do it and commit it, there's no taking it back. So years later, after the Iron Curtain falls, the manifest from the ship is published.

And so there was 89 crew members to staff it. You know, you could have like two extra, but when you looked at the crew log, there was an extra 25 crew on board over the capacity, but still able to work. And where it was found at was 400 miles off the coast of Hawaii. Sunk.

And so a lot of conspiracy theorists say, but where the sub was and where it was found, they were going, the Russians had the KGB hijack it and they were going to start World War III by launching the nukes in Hawaii. With that being said, these nukes could have like, they could have went further. They could have hit California. But the idea was that China at the time didn't have, you know, the capabilities for, you know, super long distance.

And China was like one of those communist states that was, you know, Soviet ally, like we're going to conquer the world together, holding hands. So what better way to conquer the world than to blame it on another country and back them up with a more powerful army and just decimate everything. You don't have to get your hands dirty. Nothing. It's just boom.

Start the war. You know, you're an ally. You know, like when we finally went into World War II. Like, hey, we're going to back you up. And then Germany's like, hey, we're going to war with you too, bud. And we're like, bring it. Suck it. And so doing research on it and then talking to some people that were involved in it. China at the time didn't have a nuclear capable sub. They had nuclear powered subs. Cheap ones that the Russians were like, here, this is kind of ass.

But they didn't have any ballistic missile ones that could just launch a nuke up and, you know, wreck somebody's corneas.

So the, just the, the plain old thing was a rogue, like a, uh, what is it? A deep state part of the KGB said, we need to bring it to a head right now. We've been playing, you know, chicken at the border for so long. We're going to make this happen. And, um, some believe that the reason why it sank was the captain knew that they were being overran.

And so they sabotaged the missile so they couldn't fully launch. And it blew out the bottom of the ship and sank it and killed everybody. Others believe that it was a Russian. Everybody says, you know, oh, Russia made shitty things. Oh, you know, crap. But when there's a hole in the bottom of the ship and people like it just sank as a, you know, faulty this, you know, holes just don't appear.

So my, yeah, my theory was just, you know, Hey, World War III was about ready to happen, but nobody knows about it because it was so top secret. Not even the Russians knew that it, that they had taken the sub and taken nukes off of it. If it was because of, you know, poor planning, you know, the nukes wouldn't have been a, they found like a significant amount of radiation all over the sub that they recovered.

That's why they had to bury it. You know, that just doesn't happen from malfunction. Like, yeah, especially with it being diesel operated and not a nuclear powered sub. Yep. So,

That's my theory. The K-129 have people that were in the Navy and that Big Brother Corporation that took a charge of it were involved. So I thought that was a pretty unique thing that not a lot of people know about. I wonder if this is connected with the 2018 Hawaii false missile alert. You know, in January 13th, 2018, when Hawaii was basically told that this is not a drill,

that there's a ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediately shelter. This is not a drill. Yeah, I remember that. That could be. You know, that was another attempt. They also made, they kind of like made a movie partially out of this. It was called The Phantom. It had the dude from, what's, X-Files in it? I can't think of his name. Matthew McConaughey? No. Yeah, and taking his shirt off and talking with that Texas. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right.

We're going to launch this shit today. Who's ready to see the world in widescreen? But yeah, I like that. I like that. Yeah, I've never heard of that ever. Yeah, I forget the actual operation that the CIA called it, but...

They claimed at like two-thirds of the way up, the Russian thing just ripped apart, and they were only able to salvage like a quarter of it. And I'm like, what quarter they were talking about? And they're like, oh, yeah, we captured some nukes. I was like, but you just said you took the back quarter. How did you take a nuke off the back? Everything's at the front. Well, thank you for that topic this week. You're welcome. Yeah, dude. I liked it. I've had this planned out for a long time. Han story time. Yeah.

All right, Dan, you're going to hit the grand slam for us. What do you have for this week's Theories Thursday? Mine is a very light topic. Have y'all ever heard of the Marfa lights? Yeah, we've gotten a lot of suggestions or listeners suggestions for that. This is actually one of the listeners suggestions. Not like knowledgeable, but I've heard of them. All right. So I'll tell you a little bit about the Marfa lights because I didn't know what they were. So I had to search it up for sure.

Starting in the 19th century, just southeast of a town called Marfa, Texas, there is an area that is uninhabited and very difficult to pretty much travel through. Ranchers, Native Americans, and even famous meteorologists around the world have reported sightings of sourceless lights that show up on the horizon pretty much at nighttime. These unknown lights show up either red,

or sometimes white, and they seem to almost dance in the night on the horizon randomly throughout the night. It doesn't matter what the weather or the season at all, they still shine through it all. But yeah, this event has become known as the Marfa Mystery Lights or just the Marfa Lights. It draws visitors from all over the globe to come visit Marfa to get a chance to see these dancing orbs of light. In fact, since it brings in so many people, they actually started holding a festival every year for it.

which I thought was pretty cool. But they are pretty much festival, light music, food. They even have a parade celebrating these lights. But the question is though, what are these lights? No one really actually knows the true, like what they are, but there have been speculations. It's just like they people, some people think it's like a paranormal phenomenon, maybe ethereal spirits, or in fact, luminous remains of lost souls. But,

Scientists say that it's just all it is is just reflection of headlights of cars on a totally different highway. Okay. Come on now. I think they could come up with something better than that. Yeah. And they say it's campfires from like, you know, natives out in the land. But the fact is, though, there are no roads that go through that area. Like I said earlier, it's very hard to travel through that area.

And then campfires. Come on now. These lights are like not directly on the horizon. They're above. Do they pulsate? So they pulsate. They bounce around. Oh, yeah. Travel across the horizon. Do all kinds of things. Dude, that's a campfire. What are you talking about? I don't know. Fucking Hans solving it again. Do you have a video of any of these?

You know, I've searched a lot to try to actually find video and there's some. I do have one. Or a picture. Oh, that's weird. Yeah. Oh, I know what that is. You know that snake game you play on your phone? Oh. And you just eat another one and then you get bigger and your tail gets longer? So as the night gets, you know, it gets darker, there's more of them you see. And the one thing like people are just like scientists are just like, it's just they call it like atmospheric reflection.

from the headlights of cars on a different highway. Why don't they run out there? Why don't they run out there into the field and see what it is? There were two studies on this, one done by the University of Texas with a bunch of physics students. I tried to look my hardest to try to find that study. Nothing on it. I was just, all right, throw that out the window. Four years later, scientists from the Texas State University end up doing a study out there

The scientists spent 20 nights, 20 nights out there using a spectroscopic technology to observe the unknown lights. Their conclusion matched the students' findings of that those lights are just reflection of headlights and campfires still. Even the locals and all that, they're just like, how? Like we told you, there's no highway over there. There's nothing out that way. It's uninhabited areas.

So why would a reflection, you know, highway is like all the way over here. Why would it show up nine miles? Like there's a, there's a viewing area, nine miles Southwest of the town. And they have like a whole big viewing area, big bathroom and all that. $720,000 worth of renovations there. Yeah. So that's a lot of money, but they have binoculars set up and all that. So you see it, but the reflections are out that way, pretty much opposite direction. So people were just like, we don't believe that.

Some people go out there and be like, yeah, those are headlights. The non-believers of... What is it? 3D people? Can't just be 5D? Dude, that's why I love you. That's my kind of talk. I love everybody, even all of you listeners. Ooh, nice. So I tried to dig in more, try to find a little bit more history on the lights. And what I found was a local rancher by the name of Kerr Mitchell said in an interview that

there are two kinds of Marfa lights, the real ones and, well, the phony ones. The ones you see from the viewing center is good for tourists. So pretty much he kind of goes with the theory that they're headlights, that usually the real Marfa lights show up above, like a little bit further up above the horizon, while the headlights ones are like almost perfectly aligned with

And he says the fake ones, of course, usually just go straight across slowly or something like that. The real ones actually do the whole dancing and bouncing around, which those are the ones that a lot of the locals and all of them actually see. And one of the tourists actually see when they go there, since they're going to the viewing area, are the fake ones. And they're just like, they go there, they see it, and it suffices. They're just like, oh, I've seen the Marfa lights. But he was a...

He talked about the two times that he actually seen the first two lights or first two times he's seen the Marfa lights, the real ones. First night he was outside, saw this light and he said it was just indescribable. This massive, enormous white light. And he thought he was dreaming. And then the second time there were like five or six in a series headed south at a pretty good speed, not very high.

But then they gradually disappeared. Then he says, you start to see more strange things out there. And that's what made him become a believer, which was pretty cool. But then I decided to try to dig a little bit further back. And the earliest I could find was in 1945 in the San Angelo Times newspaper. It was written in an article in February of 1945 titled, Ghost Light Appears in Marfa Area.

And then the next one, this reporter found in the Marfa Public Library was from the Coronet magazine titled, A Mysterious Light Gleams Out of the Night Like a Weird Cyclopean Eye, which was kind of a weird way to describe it. What if that's Solomon's Eye from Lord of the Rings? I mean, it could be. Who knows? It's an uninhabited area. It could be where their army's building up. Who knows?

I thought you said Arby's for a second. I thought he did too. I was like, oh man, that sounds pretty good. Arby's roast sandwich. I want extra cheddar cheese on mine. Get that dick. Built it there because they took it out the mall. I was so pissed going to the mall and having it not there. Almost wanted to riot. I had my gift card ready. So upset. Then this reporter actually tracked down a living relative of the very, like, this person that supposedly started the Marfa Lights.

In 1883, a cowboy named Robert Ellison, he was 16 at the time, and he reported seeing the lights. Now, he never really wrote anything about it because that was, what, 138 years ago? All he did was he, it was like a, I guess you say like a folk tale that was passed down in his family about these lights. And, you know, he went, talked to the granddaughter of the guy. You know, she ended up showing like the obituary and then like a long poem that he wrote about his life.

Then he actually got to try to read his memoir, which he said, and the granddaughter actually said it, it read just like a cowboy tale. There wasn't really anything about any lights other than he noticed one of the guys working for him at the time noticed something shining in the grass and decided to kick it up. What he had found was a human skull.

So I'm not sure why a human skull would be shining in the grass. Do you have any idea why? What if it's like the crystal skulls? Ooh, yeah. But like he didn't understand what it was. It was like a shiny like white. And he was like, what the hell is this? I was like, whoa, it's a skull, bro. I mean, yeah, because it was in the 1800s, almost 19th century. But yeah, so that's what I found on it. That's pretty much all there is really for the history that I could find.

Other than where it started was just this Robert Ellison. He passed it down and I guess, you know, him going around telling town just spread local. Then pretty much now they have a viewing area and people come all over the world to come see these Marfa lights. I don't know why they just don't run into the field. Hey, John, I'm catching it. I'm going to get the fairies. I'm going to get them. It's like, so you think like it's above the horizon, all that, you know, how far do you run out?

I guess someone probably did try to go out there. The further they drove, it was just not getting any closer. Like getting Cohen to the end of a rainbow. Do you really ever reach the end? Do you ever really reach the Marfa lights? That's right. I've seen somebody at the end of a rainbow. Were they wearing green? Story time with Ana. Did you take that gold from them? Say, what's up? Did you try to steal their lucky charms? You say, why don't you grow up? Now give me your gold. Listen here, child.

No, I just saw, I think it was like a TikTok where somebody had found their buyer rainbow and it just happened to be the end of the rainbow. And it like landed on a park bench or something like that. Yeah, I just, other than the theories I said earlier, like the headlights or maybe remains of lost spirits, something like that. There wasn't really like too many theories on it. I just figured we just, you know, throw ideas out there. If y'all could think of anything, it could be out there.

Because I couldn't find anything really mysterious other than just being lights. You think it might have to do with the town, like them using it as a way to promote tourism, that they have somebody there that is purposely making these lights to bring in tourists? That was basically my number one thought, because they put $720,000 into a viewing area. They have this big, fancy circular bathroom, stalls and all that.

They made it nice for people to come and visit to see these lights. The fact that the locals saying, well, those are the fake ones, and tourists like that. They don't know it, but they see it, and then they're happy. What if that's like Project Bluebeam's testing ground? Oh, god dang, Hans. But it was just a theory. I was like, Project Bluebeam? What better way to test and get a viewing area? Man, look out, and the government's like, even though we don't fund it anymore, we're funding it.

Got a shell corporation here. Get them 25 cents out of them binoculars. Yeah, I mean, all the visitors and stuff that come to that town, that money's sinking, could be funding. Mm-hmm.

That's not bad, actually. So what if it's like Skinwalker Ranch? You know how all that mysterious stuff, but nobody really goes out there. You don't see that eyewitness stuff. If I stayed the night out in the middle of this field, you know, where this is, and like, I don't know if Skinwalkers are like just for one, you know, sect of a native culture, because, you know, everybody's got the boogeyman, you know, Baba Yaga. So, you know, like the Chizos,

Their tribe is in Big Bend County, which is where that is. So what if they were pushed off that land and they cursed it?

Obviously, the curse is working because it's uninhabited. Nobody wants to go out there. F*** it. I'll go out there. Let's all go out there. Let's go, dude. Bring tents. Go right in the middle of it, and we'll live stream it. There we go. We'll do it. With a Ouija board. Oh. No, I'm just messing. But what if that is it? Or it's just an ancestral burial ground, and somebody violated it because there's that skull, and he picked it up.

Yeah. And it's just like, well, now this is cursed. Thanks. Now nobody can live here because nobody does. Uninhabited. He dug up a skull. Like, it was there, but he kicked it up. He dug it out of the ground. So, yeah. Went beyond to something. Yeah, it's just like right there. And, like, maybe...

The first people that live there, they're just like, oh, well, we ain't blessing that ground. Think about like Denver Airport. They found bones and stuff and they were like, come out here and save us now. Yeah, save us. It's true. Yeah. Just my thought, like the whole time was like, Texas has a lot of tribes, just like Oklahoma, New Mexico and Arizona. Like who's there? Could it be like Skinwalker Ranch just without animals getting killed?

and all that. Tell you one other thing. Like the reporter that, like I read some of this stuff from, he went out there and he was like, you know, waiting for the sun to go down and everything. And then another old couple showed up there. They were just visitors, you know, tourists pretty much. And they, they were waiting for the lights. And then another two older ladies showed up. The older couple, uh,

were non-believers. You know, they're just there to see what it was about. The two other ladies actually believed that these Marfa lights were like something, you know, incredible. Well, as soon as like the fake lights started happening, the older couple was just like, well, that's it. I think they're headlights. There's nothing special. All right, we're leaving. The other ladies were just like, no, those are not the Marfa lights.

you need to wait. If you really want to see the real ones, you need to wait. And like, supposedly like they bantered back and forth for a little bit, but then the older couple just said, you know, F it, we're leaving. We already seen them. You know, it's just like the two older ladies, they were locals, but the fact that they're trying to like, Hey, you know, wait, like you're not seeing the real ones. You're seeing pretty much the fake ones. Wait till you see the real ones. Then you'll,

Think it's like something mystical, something awesome. Not just these headlights. But yet, they didn't stay. Those are the paid actors. Yeah. How big was this town again? I think it's a really big town. The 1800 is the population. Okay, that's really teeny. Yeah, it's a tiny town. Man, that's like my town. What if you could communicate with the lights via Morse code with the flashlight? You look at them. What if they communicate back like,

What if nobody's done that yet? And they do signal back. Like that's their form of talking if it's a spirit or whatever. That just reminded me. The director of the movie Giants, they said that during the filming of Giants in that area, the director always had a telescope with him. So when it started to get dark, he would always look out there to try to figure out what it was and all that.

So for some reason he was obsessed with those lights while filming the movie Giants. So I don't know if the movie has to do with it. I don't think it does. I think it's just a hobby obsession. Well, thank you for that topic, Dan. And we got a bonus, real short bonus topic right here. Level up.

It's called Miracle Vegetables that I just wanted to quickly go over with you individuals. I like vegetables. So there has been a large amount of religious messages that have supposedly been found inside of fruit or vegetables, like a lot. They're called Miracle Vegetables. But I'm just going to tell you about one Miracle Vegetable specifically. In 1997 in England,

Several messages were discovered in some seed patterns. In February, a London grocery store clerk was slicing a vegetable when he observed that the distribution of seeds spelt out the word Allah. Hey, alhamdulillah. All right. So I just wanted to mention that. So they planted the seeds out so it would spell Allah.

No, like they cut the vegetable, and when they cut it in half, the seeds spelled out. What kind of vegetable? Because that's a lot of seeds to spell Allah. I guess, yeah. All right, so I guess that's the end of Theories Thursday. So we're going to move to, we usually move to Hans is on the scene, but Hans, of course, blessed us with his presence. Yep, more than just a pleasant. Ooh, nice. Yeah, saw a little UFO while I was flying here.

Nice. Screaming children. Passing out. Getting disorientated above the ocean.

Being told I was going to the wrong place as I woke up from a nap and about freaked out because that was my biggest fear. And I was like, oh, I'm in the wrong place with them all the way across the United States. They got us, too, because we were waiting for Hans up there or go pick him up. And it said his flight was canceled. And we're just like, wait a second. What's going on? Yeah, that was really scary. It's like games with us. He made a call.

Tell them this flight's canceled. I got behind everybody. I liked it all. Nice. They liked it too. Dude, I think that there is this, there just must have been something interesting in the travel time. Because I met some really cool people along the way. You did. Yeah. So, shouting out Christina, Megan, and Nicole.

uh thanks for you know in the line you know hanging out and stuff honestly i appreciate y'all's conversation i hope you're having a freaking blast in florida and staying safe and doing god's missions for all my my favorite murder fans out there they'll know what that is all right so anyways dope dude thank

Thank you for making my plane ride so amazing because I'm scared of flying. And I literally didn't think about it the whole ride because he was talking to me about conspiracies and stuff. So then we had a great little lunch afterwards. And so I just wanted to shout them out real quick. Appreciate you guys. Nice. Nice. Y'all got any quick shout outs? You want to shout out your employees? Oh, yeah. Ha ha.

The homies back in Texas, I ain't going to say where we work at, but, you know, the pandemic is temporary, but pimpin's forever. Your boy Hans here, I at least try to bring a theory. You might hear it in the blooper reel. Keep that hand strong. Yeah, keep that hand strong with you. You know, always remember, for the sun. All right. Nice.

You know, we're going to move our main shout outs to next week's episode. So if you're probably wondering, wait, where's our main shout outs? Where's Hans on the scene? So I'm moving to next week's episode. So, all right. Well, I want to thank you all for joining us today. And again, thank you for your support. You're amazing. Every single one of you. So with that being said, Hans and Ani, you want to roll us out? Hell yeah. It's okay to be out of this world with your thoughts. Because you're not alone.