Anna's Guide To Nostalgia
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Yeah, that's better. That's a lot better. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Anna, and this is Anna's Guide. And it's not called that because I have all the answers, but rather I'm excited to navigate them with you. And today we're going to be navigating an emotion that I don't feel like I see all the time, and that is nostalgia. I feel like we all love it. We love a book, a song, a place that makes you feel a certain way. But the truth is that I don't feel like I see all the time.

I feel like over this past week, I've been in my hometown, the one that I grew up in in Michigan, where I spent the majority of my life up until I moved to LA in. And I've been having a weird feeling of nostalgia that feels a little bit more like grief.

and maybe a little bit more like sadness. And although I come back to Michigan really regularly because my boyfriend's family does still live here, they don't live in the same hometown that I do. They actually live more closer to Detroit, which is I never really grew up going to Detroit. And I live more on the west side of the state. I don't think I've spent longer than a day in my hometown in four years. So today's episode is Anna's Guide to Nostalgia. ♪

I don't really see people talk about it as much when it's not a positive. I think people reflect on life and are like, oh my gosh, how great was it that we lived that life? And I think I feel that same way too for a lot of reasons. But I do want to talk about today these different elements of what we've been feeling and what we've been experiencing.

Not even going through, but as you're getting older, you're kind of grieving and mourning not only the nostalgia of a place, but a past self and maybe the experiences that you feel like you could have missed out on. So that's going to be what we're covering on today's episode, which...

feels very vulnerable and also I hope you notice that I'm in a different setting than normal I want this to be the new normal is that we're constantly in new settings in new places maybe different formats a little bit and today I'm sitting inside of my car that I have while I'm here in Michigan it's an electric hummer she's a beast of a car and I love her for that I feel like a mom but like a hot mom

The life I could have had living in Michigan. I'm sure I'll have it at some point in time, but we got a few more years before I start thinking about that. And I'm so excited for today's episode. It's something that kind of came up while I was here. I didn't initially plan filming and recording another episode while I was in Michigan, but suddenly I got an overwhelming amount of emotions and

in a few places that I've been while I'm here in Michigan. So we're going to talk about that once we get the episode rolling. But we're going to start, of course, with the usual rosebud thorn. And if you are new to my podcast, welcome. I'm so happy that you're here. A segment that we always start a podcast off with is a rosebud thorn. And I mean, I want to hear what your guys' are too. So if you're thinking about it, pause right now and tell your bestie what your rosebud thorn is of this week. Your rose is the best part. The bud is something to come. And the thorn is a thing that's just been kind of...

aching a little bit and for me my rose has been reconnecting with my childhood self and reconnecting with a younger version of myself which I do not get to do very often I don't always get to

kind of like disconnect and remove myself from the life that I live in LA. I know that sounds really weird to say, and I feel like it's really weird too. But sometimes I come back here and I feel like a kid again. Like I feel like I'm meant to be in high school, even though I'm quite a bit older. It's been 10 years since I've been in high school. So in some ways, I feel like when I come back, nothing's changed, but everything's different.

And I think maybe this is why I love Noah Khan's song so much because I feel like he often sings about the reflection of like where he came from. But for me, my rose this week has been connecting with my childhood self. My bud has been a project that I'm working on.

that I'm doing the math by the time you hear this episode will be out my bud is the excitement that I have for once I get back as a lot of you know by the time you're hearing this episode of course I filmed this earlier I'm actually recording this during that week that I'm with Katie before her bachelorette party and that's what's making me think about this topic quite a bit but it's a little bit of an evergreen topic and it feels more true to be recording it while I'm here but

And that is that I am not only here for a bachelorette party with Katie, but after the bachelorette party, I have two more days in Michigan where I'm shooting another PacSun swimwear line that's being released that I've designed that's inspired by my Midwest girlies, my Midwest roots, the...

like mid-summer in the Midwest kind of vibes. And it's going to be released at the beginning of August. And there's something just so special about getting to share. Both of my swimwear launches were inspired by the locations that I hold so true and that I love so much, and that's California and Michigan. I'm sure there will be hopefully more to come and more inspirations from other locations that I call home. But yeah,

My Midwest girlies know that the lakes get warm in the summertime, and so we're doing our photo shoot in Michigan, which is... I'm, like, so ecstatic to get to share such a little piece of my heart in that content and in that way, I guess. So my bud is the preparation for what's to come next week with that photo shoot. I'm a little bit nervous. I'm not in the shape that I was. I know it's not something I really need to worry about as much because...

Truthfully, the best accessory, the best way you look is when you look like you feel good and when you feel healthy and when you feel confident. And...

I'm not somebody who's going to be like twisting and turning and changing myself all that much before a photo shoot anyway, but I know that I was, I was working out a little bit more on my last shoot. So I think my own like a little mini insecurities, my body dysmorphia of like, everyone's going to know that I don't look the same. Um, and truthfully, it doesn't matter as long as I'm having fun and I'm sharing something that I love, which I obviously am. Um,

That's the most important part. So my thorn for this week is maybe the overthinking of that a little bit. I think if there's anything else, it's probably how hot it is in this car right now. I don't have it running, but I'm going to turn it on in point five seconds because it's an electric car, so it doesn't make any noise anyway. But boy, oh boy, am I like, can you see like I have like the little sweat droplets, like my little like sweat mustache is coming in.

from how toasty it is in this vehicle. But that's mine. So if you guys want to join in, I am so curious what your rosebud thorns are going to be. Share them with your bestie in the car with you if you're listening in the car, in your headphones, think about them to yourself. Remember to be so grateful that we are here and we're getting to share this life together, y'all. That's just the one thing. It's so hard to come up with the negatives because there is so much to be excited about and so much to look forward to. And this episode is going to be reflecting on hopefully all the things that have been on the mind lately. So...

Yeah, let's get right into it. At the start of this episode, I kind of teased the three main pillars of what I've been thinking about in terms of nostalgia. And it is the nostalgia for a place, a past self, and an experience you might not have gotten to have. And I think that the best one to start with is honestly, maybe the experience that I didn't get to have, because that's what came up first for me while I was here.

And this is an interesting trip down memory lane. If you listen to my podcast episode about, it actually might have been my opening episode where I talked about college a little bit and knowing exactly where I was meant to end up. I ended up at Western Michigan University and that's where I went to school. I have a lot of pride in the fact that I went there. I love where I went to school. I think that it was the perfect fit for me at that time in life. But I was in Ann Arbor with my boyfriend's family because he lives a little bit more around that area.

And there was a moment that I had this really inexplainable feeling of missing out. A FOMO, if you will. I had this weird, sickening feeling that like I didn't go to U of M.

which, surprising enough, is where I'd always dreamed of going to school. I always wanted to be a Wolverine. My older sister went to U of M. I felt like I was following the legacy by getting to go there. And when I applied in high school, I got deferred from early admission and then waitlisted and then ended up the week of college starting getting denied. And truthfully, I

It hurt my feelings a lot, but in that moment, I was like, I'm already at Western. Like, by the time I had gotten the denial, I was like, oh my god, I'm already at school. This doesn't even matter anymore. This doesn't even apply to me. I don't know why I'd be getting this now. So it didn't feel like it hurt in that moment in time, but there was this moment where we were on campus, and I remember visiting my sister very often in college and going and hanging out with her and walking around her campus and sitting in, like, the parks and, like,

You know, I obviously don't know the name because I feel like you know the names of places like that when you go there. But I just remember having such positive memories of getting to experience that at such a young age and like living so close to such a cool Big Ten school. That like that really hurt when I didn't get in. And sitting there this weekend, this moment hit me, which I don't know if this is a thing that maybe we feel as we get older. So I'm 27 years old. I feel like often people don't know that I'm that much older, but.

I'm older than I think I feel. And there's no reason for me to go back to college again. Does that make sense? Like I, unless I teach, I, I have a terminal degree, which means I can be a professor with my master's and I,

I got my master's in film and television production, so if I suddenly decide to go back for an engineering master's as well and then end up PhDing in that, there's no real reason that I would go back to school. I kind of have, I have done my education. I did seven years. I don't need any more school, honestly. Okay, guys, I feel so official because today's episode of Anna's Guide is brought to you by Command Brand.

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I keep my apron on a Command hook in my kitchen. She could go away, but she's there now. Command Strip has got you just like they've got me. Visit Command.com to find where you can buy Command products this back-to-college season. That kind of hit me that I was like, I will never get to relive those years of like 18 to 22 and going to college and having the experience at the school that I thought I was going to get to go to. And I was sitting there with like a sense of like envy and nostalgia in my heart about

Of, like, everyone who got to experience it. I was like, you guys don't know how lucky you are. There's people who dream of this. And I think that that's something that I overlooked. I'm even thankful that I got to go to college at all and that I got to experience Western. But there was this weird element that felt very difficult to navigate. And...

It was the sense of nostalgia and this fear of missing out and this sense of like, I'm older now and that's not an experience I'm ever going to get again in my life. I sometimes think about decisions I didn't make or the way I wanted things to go and when it didn't turn out that way, I was like, oh, bummer, but it's okay. I've always been a very glass half full girly. We always will be a glass half full girly, but I've never had to like so willingly look in the face what I kind of missed out on and been like, man, I'm

ah, there's still a part of me that wish that worked out, even though I think I'm over it. And that feeling that I had when I talk about colleges in my first episode and saying I walked on Western's campus and I felt it so deep in my core, like this is where I was meant to be. I had that same feeling for U of M, truthfully. And I didn't get to pick because I didn't get accepted. So there's this element of like,

At least I took the risk and I know I did everything I could to get there. I'm not trying to make this all about college right now, but my brain also went to that in a sense of like when I was in high school, there were sports that I was nervous about or sports that I was afraid of because I didn't want to risk embarrassing myself or making myself look bad or doing anything. Katie just walked out and looked into the car or doing anything that would like

You know how high school is. You know how it can be. Like, I wanted the dream princess. This is something that comes to mind specifically is like,

going to prom, I wanted the experience of being like flattered by getting asked by a boy. But I like remember telling my high school boyfriend, like who funny enough was already in college. I was still in high school. I was like, you have to ask me. And I remember her being like, why would I ask you if we're going to your high school prom? And I was like, because I'm the girl. And like, that's how it works. Looking back, I actually regret not asking them.

That's such a simple thing. But I'm like, man, I wish I had the confidence to just be like... I could have done something so fun and so creative. And it really was silly that I was so worried about the image of it. That, like, I didn't just...

take the reins and do it myself and I also think that in with that ties right in with having a past self and the past self that you're grieving I think Anna now would have no problem having the confidence to do whatever she wanted to do when she was in high school or whatever she wanted to do when she was in college truthfully by the time I got to college I was a little bit unforgiving and knowing what I wanted and that was I think one of the best things that I learned in school and just in adulting and growing up and being older than like a 16 year old um

I end up really understanding and starting to realize, like, life is short and you might as well take the reins. But what I always forget, especially now even, when I get stressed about the littlest things, life is also long. You have any day is the day to start again. Any day is the day to start anew.

You don't have to be in the right place at the right time with the right mentality to just try something, you know, because maybe it fails, but maybe it's the best thing you've ever done. And when I got to college, I think I really lived by that mentality. That's why I taught fitness classes and I worked as an intern and worked full time during the school year as an engineer. And I practiced, you know, I always thought I wanted to be a teacher. So I got my teaching license and I was a substitute. And like all of those things came much more naturally in college because I think I like realized I didn't want to miss out on anything.

But there's little moments of nostalgia where like I think I often took for granted how much I could have taken chances and I didn't. I never regret anything because I wouldn't be where I am now sitting in my hometown thinking about how grateful I am that I grew up in the hometown that I did. But I also think there's moments that I wish I had more confidence in a younger me to have taken the risks that she wanted to.

and time passes you by and you don't really get to do it over again especially when you're younger and I just hope that like for anyone who's following I mean I hope that people who are my age and looking back and they also kind of feel this way I hope you know that you're not alone in that emotion but I also hope that anybody who's younger and listening in knows that like you will never be this young again this isn't even an episode to be like those are my glory days because I think that those are ahead of me I think that I'm going to be living my best life

Now, tomorrow, the day after, the year after, 10 years after that, I think life only gets better genuinely because that's what I've been experiencing is like, even though there's things I look back on and I'm like, dang, that was so cute. I'm so happy that it all worked out as it did. And I ended up where I am.

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Um, this is something that happened while I was here in Michigan. And truthfully, it very much surprised me that I had lost track of the younger version of myself. And I truthfully didn't realize it. And I'm not saying that you're not allowed to change. I'm not saying you're not allowed to grow up, but I'm going to tell you the story of what happened while I was here in Michigan that kind of stuck out to me. And it's, it's, it's living in my, in my head rent free right now. And that's why I'm like, Oh my God, I need to literally talk about this on an episode. Um,

I often apologize for being a content creator to my friends, to my family, to my partner. I'm somebody who has my phone out 24-7. Naturally, I think that that's what ends up happening because what was once a passion becomes a job and now I have a responsibility. This is not complaining. This is just me saying my life often is me with my phone in my hands. Funny enough, my phone is not in this car right now and I'm kind of just spitballing what I'm telling you guys.

based off of what I had written on the outline that I know I made. But...

Either way, I'm normally somebody who before I eat, I take a photo of my food because that could be a good backdrop photo. That could be a good Instagram story. If I need something that could be a good cover photo on a reel. If it's a good color scheme, you know me guys like let's be so real. I take a photo of everything. I'm always taking photos and videos of friends. I'm taking them of partners. I'm taking them things that we're doing and it's not with the intention of making content out of it. It's with the intention of being inspired all the time.

Or at least it used to be. Maybe now I think a little bit more with like, okay, what can I make out of this moment that I'm having right now? And I really don't like that mentality. And hence the reason I'm literally in therapy is separating Anna the Creator from Anna the Individual. Because Anna the Individual became Anna the Creator. And sometimes I get lost in the sauce and I don't remember who I am. Okay? Very weird. Very like...

mental problem to have, like not mental problem, but you know what I mean? Like a very, it's difficult to differentiate exactly how I'm feeling when I feel that way about this. But what's crazy is I often find myself apologizing for being that person because I'm like, sorry, this is so cringy. And the truth is it's not, it's actually not at all cringy. It's actually what I do for work and not only what I do for work, but what I do for fun.

And this struck me when I found myself telling Katie pretty much, I think we were walking and I like stopped for a second, like in my tracks during our walk to like take a photo of something like a sign in Marshall that I thought was cute. And I was like, oh, sorry, I keep doing that. I don't mean to be like annoying by stopping all the time.

And Katie Berry, like, did not skip a beat. Looks at me and goes, actually, you don't need to say sorry. I, like, remember you doing this in college. This has always been how you are. Like, you've always just been somebody who makes little short stories out of every little experience you have and is storytelling your life. And, like, it doesn't bother me. I hope you know that. She's like, I don't know who told you that that was a problem, but, like, that's not a problem. You've...

Before you had a platform, before you were like this, I remember you wanting to do photo shoots in college and wanting to make cute little videos out of our weekends. Don't say sorry, dude. Chill out. It was the funniest, most raw thing that she could have said is, you're not bothering me. Stop apologizing for something that doesn't really need an apology, which I'm very guilty of. I apologize for everything. I will say sorry if somebody steps on me. You can hit me with your car and I'd be like, oh my god, I was in the way. And so...

Hearing it from her though, someone who knows me from every era of my life, 18 till 27, I had this moment where I was like, dang, you're so right. Like, you know me better than I sometimes know myself in a way that I forgot that I was her. I used to be so unforgiving about wanting to just make what I loved and create what I loved and tap into being an artist and a creator and somebody who just like,

I had like a limitless passion for storytelling and making videos, which is what inspired me going to grad school, which is what inspired me downloading TikTok, which is what inspired me getting here. And yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's like too many hate comments or something, or maybe it's, you know, ever finding a Reddit page at all that you realize that you're like, dang, all of those opinions didn't make me better. You know, like all that stuff didn't make me see myself better. If anything, it scared me.

From like being myself and made me more embarrassed. Gosh, why am I getting emotional made me more embarrassed to be myself And I was never somebody who was embarrassed to be themself so I heard katie say that and I kind of like Got choked up for a second because I was like dang Why am I saying sorry? I really love what I do And I really love being the person who's like capturing all my friends and taking my videos and um

It's just sad sometimes. I think I had a moment where I was like, wow, I miss her. I miss the girl who wasn't scared, I guess, of being weird or being unforgivingly truly myself. And I became a little bit nostalgic for her this weekend when Katie said that. I was like, wow, you're so right. I used to...

post YouTube videos every single week in college because I was like obsessed with like the girlies who made vlogs and I would have three views a week on the videos and I did not care. I spoke like I was an influencer. I spoke like I was a content creator. I vlogged spring breaks and Q&As and college days and all this stuff and it didn't matter what anybody thought about it because I was fucking obsessed.

I might not feel like her anymore, but I know she's still in there. Like really? She's still in there. I know she is. And she's going to come out. Like there's going to be a day where like I shake it off and I feel like myself again. I think like a lot of people in, gosh, a lot of people in their twenties end up becoming nostalgic for a past version of themselves because I think I post highlight reels and my camera roll is highlight reels. And I forget what it felt like to feel like this. And I think that I'm doing something wrong because I don't,

I'm not in this body. I'm in this body, but I'm not in the same mind that I was when I was then. Guys, if this is getting way too weird, I am so sorry if you're having trouble tracking it. Um...

And all I'm saying is I don't remember exactly what she was thinking because when I look back on photos and videos from those times, I was so happy that I'm like, oh my God, yeah, I was so happy. But then give me a year from now and I'm going to look back on this and be like, I was so happy. And that might not be true because I might not have been happy. But so I've been feeling a little bit of a nostalgia for a past self. And I don't know that it was a better version.

It was still a little bit of a workaholic version, which is what I am now. But I just kind of miss sometimes when I used to like feel this joy. And sometimes I think that like I have nothing to complain about. Truthfully, I'm not saying this in a sense of that. I'm ungrateful for the life that I have. As I told you earlier, like you should be so thankful for what you have. And like the point of the rosebud thorn is to like remember the good things that happened this week and the things that are going to come. And I have so many good things on the horizon. I don't forget that for a second.

What I do sometimes have trouble with, though, is feeling like the world didn't wear on me a little bit because I made my life really public. And I think when I when I was making stuff out of joy, I didn't feel this need to satisfy. And the truth is, I need to be better about satisfying myself. And I think that remove me as a creator and remove me as like having a public presence from this is.

At your job, do it because you love it, not because you're trying to satisfy somebody else. At your creative outside of your job, at your hobbies, do it because you love it, not because you're trying to like make a career out of it. You should love what you do first. That's the only reason I think that I really had any luck in this space is because I like guys, I lived and breathed making videos. I loved it. And I don't mean to put that in the past tense as if I don't feel that same way now, because I absolutely do.

But I definitely feel myself transitioning as an adult. And a part of me misses the girl who was so ride or die for her content. Because sometimes I just don't feel like that. And I think it's just a little bit of burnout. I think it's a lot of burnout. But I feel a little bit of a sadness for the girl that I was. You know like that movie Inside Out? Of course you do. My joy is like lost in the freaking weaves of the memories. You know what I mean? Just a little bit.

God, I'm gonna make myself cry. She's just a little bit gone and she's gonna come back. She'll be back with all of us. But I think like I have this nostalgia about all this stuff because there's like a part of me that just wishes it felt like that again. And I have no doubt that it will. But that's how I feel about a past self. And the final element is the place that I grew up. Sorry that that... I don't know how to end that on a good note. I feel like I normally give a lesson at the end of it. But...

Here's going to be my note. This is my one thing. I think about this lyric constantly whenever I feel like I'm in a struggle bus of a place. Shocker, it's a Noacon lyric. Don't let this darkness fool you. The lights that were turned off can be turned back on. I might have said those wrong, but that rhymed. And I truly believe that. Don't let it. Don't believe that things that are not feeling great now

are going to be forever because they're not. This is a temporary moment in our life. And if you're feeling like a sense of disconnect and a nostalgia and a sadness for who you used to be or a desperation for getting that element back, just remember that when it comes back, it's going to be better. When the lights turn back on, they're going to be brighter. And you're going to be so happy that you gave yourself the time

To fall away from yourself so you could remember all the things that you missed and loved about yourself in the first place. Yeah, that's what we're going to end on there. And the final segment of this is nostalgia for a place. We all have plans in life. Maybe to take a cross-country road trip or simply get through this workout without any back pain. Whether our plans are big, small, spontaneous, or years in the making, good health helps us accomplish them.

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Opportunity. I always loved LA because I like the beach and I like the sunshine. And I was like, it's so aesthetic and it's so cool and it's so pretty. And, you know, people are so creative there. It's a city of artists. The same way that I felt about New York. When I was applying to go to grad school, I was kind of choosing back and forth between LA and New York. And I think I would have been happy with either, but I definitely think I'm an LA girly. Looking at it now, I would never survive in New York. But...

I never really felt like I missed Marshall until I was back this week. Truthfully, I was sprinting from the town as soon as I experienced something else. And anyone who lives in a small town, I hope, can feel what I'm talking about in this. I did not know how much more fun I would have...

When I, then when I left, but I think the fun satisfied the age and era that I was in. Like when I was going to college, I moved to a little bit bigger city, Kalamazoo, which went, I went from 7,000 in my hometown to 70,000 in my college. And I just got to experience this like city or like more of a city like experience.

more of a city like experience. There was more than an Applebee's and the downtown local pub that we all ate at, which was Shuler's shout out Shuler's. Um, we didn't have to drive 40 minutes to find a mall that actually had stores that were open. You know what I mean? Um,

And like the shopping got better in Kalamazoo. I was closer to Grand Rapids. There was like, I was closer to the beach. There was just more to do. And in that moment I was like, oh, I would never move back to my hometown because I'm having so much fun in the city. And then I went to 70,000 from 70,000 to like 10 million in LA. And that was a jump. That was bonkers. I cannot, cannot believe that I did that jump. And once I made it there, I was like, there's no way I go back.

But during this week, 10 years later from living here, I came back to visit and I'm staying with my best friend who lives in town. And every day we go get our ice cream and it's the same people working and the weather is beautiful. Like you can't see it. Maybe a little bit here. You can see it for anybody who's watching the video portion of this podcast. Um,

The skies are blue. It's so humid. It's making my little natural curls come out that I haven't had really since I lived in Michigan again. And there's just this part of being here that's like, I get it. I know why my parents moved us here as kids. Like, it kind of makes sense. You are legitimately in a bubble. I think about the trouble. I said this to Katie. I think about the trouble you can get into when you're in L.A.,

Limitless. You can get into so much trouble. I watched my little brother go to high school in a California school. And, like, just the stories he would tell about, like, what they had access to at that age. Versus, like, I think the worst that we could do here was, like, the very normal things. Like, I'm not even going to say normal because I don't want to put any limitations on, like, what people consider normal. Like...

I'm trying to think of a good story of, but I'm trying not to expose anybody. The worst thing I did, I would say in high school is sneak out. The worst thing I did in high school was have a boyfriend and tell my parents I didn't. Okay. Maybe I'm, I'm very, very naive and I'm also very innocent, but truthfully, like that's the worst thing that I drank underage in a small town, which most kids drink with their parents underaged in a small town. So like, there's an element to this where I'm like,

There's not much that you can get into trouble with. And every day is the same. And you're living in a wonderland a little bit where like, what is time and space? I've been here for three days. I don't know what day of the week it is. But I will say that like for a second, it kind of made sense.

Like, Katie and I have just been going on walks every day. And we, like, sit on our couch and rot and scroll on social media. And the ice cream at the ice cream shop is so good. The people are so friendly. There's so many families. There's people are walking their dogs. Katie and I are just hanging out. Everybody has their, like, really cute Jeeps. There's summer cars. The roofs are off. The kids are at the lake. Everyone's out of school. There's just this, like, really...

feeling of nostalgia where when I came back and I looked around, nothing had changed. The homes look the same. The schools look a little bit more loved in like the fountain identical, the gardening, same flowers, maybe a few more wildflowers, like nothing changed. And it's been 10 years. And I think that kind of consistency could be nice. Like I can't like I get it. I don't know how I don't know why, but I get it.

Madka knew. Madka and my father knew when they were picking to grow up in a small town. I feel this way when I go back to Brew's hometown. I will say his reminds me of my own. His is quite a bit smaller than Marshall. I do prefer...

Sorry, Ida. I love you so much, Ida. Do not take offense to this. That's Ida, Michigan. I do prefer Marshall, I think, because I grew up here. And we have a little more of that downtown feeling. Truthfully, when I go to Franklin, Tennessee, it reminds me of Marshall. So if you've ever been to Franklin, Tennessee, you're pretty much looking at my hometown. Maybe less cute shops and not so southern. But it's the same vibes. There's just something great about being back by cornfields. It cleans my mind a little bit.

It grounds me quite a bit. I feel like being back at home and I love that. So that's my interpretation of having this feeling of nostalgia for a place. But truthfully, I've never felt it before. And I don't know if anybody else who lives in a small town is in this like fast pace to run away. I'm not saying don't because I think you absolutely should. I think that there is so much value in living somewhere other than your small town that

But man, when you go away and you come back, you'll realize how wonderful it is. You will be so thankful that you grew up somewhere like this. I think about like the kids who grew up in LA and grew up in the city and like, I've never seen a cornfield or a four wheeler. And I'm like, y'all are missing out. I mean, like, can we all just talk about for a second, the sunflower fields? Like I'm going to lose my marbles if I don't get to see a sunflower field for another four years or something. Like, what was I thinking? But thankfully my best friend does still live in the town that I grew up in.

her fiance and husband-to-be also lives in this town and like it's nice to come home and still see the people like I grew up with I think I had a lot of like fear like I said at the beginning of this episode I think when I lived here I really stressed like I'm weird or I don't belong or kind of this like underlying feeling and insecurity of not being accepted here and

but coming back, I really love coming back and like remembering all the great memories that my parents made for me in a town like this, even though they're not living in Michigan anymore. And they do live in LA with me. I like have all these fond memories of our ice cream shops and our dinner dates and the walks we used to go on and where I went to school and how many times I drove the exact same road. Um,

And that's what I really love about nostalgia. I think there's something so beautiful, even though like at times I feel like I'm grieving it and I feel pain because I miss what I had. Oh my gosh. I'm so thankful to have the core memories that I do and the little reminders and the ability to go back to where I like grew up and where I feel like I like developed who I am today.

there's so many elements of my midwest self that I see in the town that he grew up in and the people who are still here and I'm like wow like I I see these qualities still in me and I know they're deep down but they're like some things never change like me being a little talkative social butterfly I 100% developed in this town can't shake it cannot shake that aspect um

And just like walking around barefoot, y'all. What the heck? I don't like my feet. I don't even want to know what they look like. I have walked barefoot everywhere in Katie's yard. I'm walking. I'm in this car barefoot right now. You think I'm gonna put my shoes on? I grew up in a family who was very much like, you don't wear shoes in the yard or in the house. Gosh.

Yeah, Nestle, this episode really just developed out of this idea of, like, all these things that are bringing me back in a lot of ways and reminding me of who I am and how I got here and how great it is to grow up in a small town and how great it is to even though you feel sadness to feel something about an experience. And even though you feel sadness or loss of self, at least you remember her.

That's what I really want to encompass in this episode. And if you're sitting here and you're thinking to yourself about who you were or an era of your life that you really miss or a version of yourself that you wish you could go back to, just remember that they're still in here. And the place you're from is still in here in the way that you speak and in the way that you walk and in the way that your memories are and in the way that you think. And remember that all the things you missed out on are the reasons that you had extra time to make way for where you are now.

And there never missed opportunities. You did what you could. That path wasn't for you. And that's okay. It all works out exactly as it meant to. Whether you feel the remorse now or you felt the remorse then. It all worked out as it was meant to. Yeah. And I asked you guys about nostalgia. And what's an era of your life that you're nostalgic for? Because I'm feeling it right now. And...

we're going to listen to some of your voicemails. So let's get this party started. If you're ever wondering how you can call and be a part of one of my favorite parts and segments of this podcast, I post a little photo once a week or anytime that I'm feeling spontaneous and I'm about to record an episode and you guys can call in to my own private voicemail. I might not be the answer, but my voicemail will and you'll still hear my voice. And this week's question is, what's an era of life that you miss or wish you could live over again?

And if I had to answer that question, the truth is, funny enough, I actually sort of wish that I could relive at times the first time I met Brew.

It's really cheesy, but that was an era of my life that I very much loved. I was kind of, it was in that era of like going from singleness to dating someone again and just the excitement of dating, Bru, and I still feel that every day in our relationship, so it's hard to want to go back, but I sort of just wish that I could be her again. I think she took a lot of risks and I think that she did a lot of exciting things because she just felt like it and I

I would want to do that again. She opened Miami some week. She was on a flight every single week. She did everything she dreamed of. She said yes to way too many opportunities. And I felt constantly inspired. And I remember that time of my life being really exciting, especially welcoming a new man into my life. I think it'd be fun to fall in love with him all over again. So which I kind of do every day anyway, but.

During that era, it felt really special to kind of know that I had feelings again. And yeah, that would be the era that I would relive. But you guys can give me a call if you ever want to answer these questions or ask me questions because I'd love to hear what you want to talk about on the podcast too. Give me a call at 323-433-0683. Once again, that's 323-433-0683.

I'll be posting them on my Instagram too, so follow me at AnnaXSatar to get those. But this week's, here's our first voicemail. Hi, Anna. You asked us what era was our favorite in our life or just one that we wish we could go back to. And...

I know it sounds cliche, but I loved my senior year of high school. I finally had really good friends that I could rely on that weren't gossiping behind my back. I was lead also in the jazz band. I know, nerdy. And I got to sing a couple solos with that as well. I love that. It was amazing.

a really happy time in my life. It was before my anxiety started getting really bad. So, um, yeah, anxious free Casey would be quite lovely. Um, yeah, everything will. Casey, I feel that on so many levels and I also am so happy that you had that experience too, in the sense of like, it's so nice to have that sense of community. I hope that you find it again. Thanks for calling and leaving me a voicemail. Um,

I agree that I think like the people are really what helped make nostalgia feel so special and help make memories and eras feel really special. So I'm so happy that you got to experience that with people who supported you and uplifted you and shout out to that solo. I want to hear it. Okay, here's our second one.

Honestly, the time in my life that I missed the most was living under the same roof as my parents and my brother while I was growing up and just taking for granted the fact that we were all together and the little moments like eating dinner together at the table or going outside and playing soccer and just spending time together as a family because that really does change as you grow up and you realize your parents are growing up too. Okay.

instant tears but I could not agree more I just talked about this too it's like watching your when you're growing up you forget that you're also watching your parents grow old and oh my gosh I could not oh I like I think that's also why I kind of love Marshall like I kind of said that during that portion of the segment is like the memories my parents made for me here and I you don't realize that once the kids move out of the house you will never all live together again

I think my family got really lucky during COVID because my sister and her husband lived four hours north of us. They came home. My brother came home from college and I came home from college. And for the first time since I was 13, I

all the kids were in the house again and I was 23. So it was the coolest experience to get to like rekindle that and us all be adults together and live together again. I think that's like something that I will never take for granted is that era, especially since we were all quite a bit older than kind of got to have that experience. But man, it's,

Home cooked meals. Dinner together. I think that those are things that I know. Those are elements of my life. That I'm nostalgic for. But know that when I have a family one day. I will 100% also be implementing. My family ate every single dinner together. My family had like.

We were a very tight-knit family, and I'm really fortunate my family still does family vacations. Like, I go in two weeks on a family vacation where all of us and all of our partners go, and we just do, like, a week or ten days all together. And that's, we're all really lucky that we have schedules that allow for that. But I agree, once again, it's the people. It's the people that, like, keep the memory alive, too. I feel like when I look at my parents, I still see the memories that I have as a kid, so...

Oh, that's so special. I love that. And thank you so much for listening, you guys. You can follow at TheAnnaGuide on Instagram and TikTok for any updates on my podcast, as well as my personal account at AnnaXatar on Instagram and TikTok. And also don't forget to listen in next week, video versions on YouTube, or you can stream anywhere that you find your podcasts.

I love you so dearly. I'm so happy that you're here. I hope this episode just made you a little bit reflective. I know it's a little bit out of the ordinary from what we've seen on my podcast before, but just know good things are coming. Lots of change and even better is we're writing new versions of ourselves every day. So I can't wait to write a new one next week with you. I love you and I'll see you soon.

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