The Magic Man w/ Sebastian Maniscalco
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

Hey!

Hey, everybody, guys. We got new shirts, and this is, I think, one of our best shirts of all time. I think so, too. On it has all the whole, your cast of characters in it. The gang's all here. The gang's all here. And then Poway High School, the home of the Titans. Home of the Titans, baby. My high school's there. Hollywood, all that stuff. The Comedy Store. Tootsie's on there. Kreekor's on there. McCone, Carlos, everyone. We also have mugs. If you like coffee, you want to start your day right with the Bad Friends, we also have mugs on there. Mugs and shirts everywhere.

Go get them now before we stop selling them. We're doing limited time runs for a lot of this stuff. Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com. Also, we're going down on the mic. We're going to be in Australia. Sydney, we have to add seats because you guys did great.

Tell them where we go. We're going to Sydney. You said it. Sydney. Brisbane, Australia. Auckland, New Zealand. Melbourne, Australia. Adelaide, Australia. Perth. Tickets are going fast. Tickets are going fast. Go to badfriendspod.com for tickets. Badfriendspod.com for tickets. You two are best. Who are these two idiots? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

We're bad friends. What's going on with your face? Like a teenage girl. Dude, dude, dude, dude. I love it. Are there like pink ones that can blend into your face? You had to do the yellow. These were for you, but I just... Oh, I see. You want me to save that stuff for the pod? Yeah. Dude, let me tell you something. Did you offer our guests anything to drink? I got water. Everybody's a little starstruck.

Everyone is a little star star. A star stroke. A star stroke. This guy. Dude, we hire. This guy. Almost all the people that work for us are A, illegal. They're illegal. They don't have cards. Or B, they're felons. Felons, yeah. Honest felons. Carlos, did you know Seb back in the day? I would see you at the comedy store, yeah. Yeah, but he didn't know you. No. No. No.

Well, no, because you were around. Yeah. This is before he blew up, though. So you didn't go, hey, I'm Carlos? No, no. You think Sebastian was in sacred ground with the crackheads in the back of his car?

You did stand up and went home. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. These guys were cockroaching behind the comedy store. He didn't linger. He didn't need to. I did. I lingered early on. My early years, I was a linger. Yeah, yeah. But as you grow up, you go home.

Well, I didn't make it yet, so you know what I mean? I need to hang out. You mean now? Yeah, now. I hang out now because I haven't made it yet. I mean, my opportunity might, you know what I mean? Maybe I'll do the Golden Globes. Are you sleeping in Mitzi's office? Don't you pass out sometimes up there? That's your little apartment? Well, first of all, no one's ever been in Mitzi's office. You know that? I have.

There's no one's been it. I have don't do this you have have you been in Mitzi's office? Yeah. Yeah, what are you talking about? I don't think you guys know where Mitzi's office is. This is such what a dumb guy think There was another room with a desk. What are you talking about? No, where do you think Mitzi's office is? What are you talking about? What are you guys talking about? I don't like this. I don't like what's going on right now, dude F you go ahead. Let me ask you this. Okay is Mitzi's office at the county store?

- That's very good. Yeah, all right. Good, this is good. You're acting, you're treating me like you've always said, like a child. - Yeah. - And I'm gonna allow this. All right, so go ahead. Let's go. - No, the way you're behaving is as if we didn't come across the office because the office is located on Kuwait. - I know, but what I'm saying to you is that, can I ask you a question? - Yes. - Based after your question. My question, are there many offices at the Comedy Store?

- Yes. - Yes. There we go. Am I, okay, so. - What? - And so what I'm, no, stop. - Dude, this is the worst detective of all time. Trying to find clues that aren't there. - Yeah, yeah, there are. So what I'm saying is that I feel like you've been in an office where you thought it was Mitzi's office, but it really wasn't. - Okay. - Okay, so what I know this about Mitzi's office is that it's been closed since the '70s. No one's ever been in there. - That's not true. - Okay, so now I'm gonna ask you, Seb, and you, Andrew, all right?

All right, because I'm not afraid. Number one, I don't, I'm not based in fear right now. I have courage and I know what I'm talking about. You fucking assholes right now, right? And don't do, you know what this is? I saw this on TikTok.

It's the way to, you know what I mean? Control the room with your hand like this. - You know what this is? - Yeah. - You know what this is? - Yeah. - This is sitting on a kid's- - That's what that is. - That's what it is. - I read it wrong. So I'm gonna ask you guys, where is the office?

You know what the fuck? I don't know if we need to tell you because you haven't been. This is kind of the great thing. This is so funny because now you see what's going on. They now are scared because they don't know where her office is. I do. So this is great. The office is upstairs. Okay, so where? I go. There's many building offices up there. So describe to me how I get up there. Okay, since you've been in there. Yeah.

Does the office have a heavy, like, red kind of velvety drape that you remember? I don't know if it does anymore, but it did. It used to have a... There was a secondary door before you got to her office door. Yeah. Oh, that's it, that's it, that's it. Yeah, that's it. LAUGHTER

You're the only one who has them. I've never been in there. No, no, here's the deal. Yeah, I've never been in there. A responsible, grown, hold on. Hey, Eget, Adam, you're on Bad Friends with Sebastian and me and Bobby. And Bobby claims that's, yeah, exactly. He goes, nobody's been in Mitzi's office since the 70s. And I said, me and you, I said, I've been in it. You and I went in it. Did or did, have we not been in Mitzi's office?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, okay. Thank you. I love you. I'm not done. No, we're done. Give me the phone. Why is Bobby banned from the office? Yeah, why can't Bobby go in, Eget? Oh, that's totally different. Right. Oh, what is it then, Eget? Bobby, there's so many fucking reasons. Yeah, there is. Yeah. And I think our audience knows. Hang up the phone. I love you. I'll call you later. Hang up the phone. Goodbye. I love you. Okay, so I was wrong. There are parts of this commentary I've never read. So aggressive to our guest. Listen.

Guys, I never know when I come on these things. Yeah. Is this like? Yes. We had already started. I just did a podcast where it was like, okay, we're going to start in a bit of water. And then it was like an introduction. Yeah. Here it's like, hey, we're running right from the get go. This is a car accident. Okay. No, it's not a car. It's just going to happen. You guys are making me so mad right now.

- Dude, what is your problem? - I don't know, I'm just an aggro right now. - What happened in Century City that you're so upset? - It took me a long way to get here. - Well, no shit. - What were you doing over there? - C.A.'s packaging, and I had, you know-- - Don't act like it's-- - Okay, so anyway. I'm doing this, you know what I mean, because it's like, it's a whirlwind. So I don't wanna get into why I was there. - Did you say whirlwind or whirlwind?

It's the whirlwind. Which word do you think it is? W-I-N. World wind? World wind? No, it's W-H-I-R-L wind. W-I-N-D. W-Y-N-N, like Steve Wynn. No, no, no, not Steve Wynn. Wind. Or world wind. What is it? What is it? No, no, no, I'm just saying you're right no matter what.

I know you're going to say something. Let me just say something. We'll do the proper intro. You don't need to. I'm going to tell you why we do it. Is this part of like, oh, we get warmed up and then all of a sudden the foreigner says, hey, let's get this going. You're right. Our guest today is one of our favorite comedians who ever walked the earth.

An actor, a comedian, a writer, probably one of the most brilliant performers alive today, Sebastian Maniscalco. What did you, wait, don't step on the- A real comedian. A real comedian. For once. For once on this show. Yeah. Let me just get back. Okay, I'm back.

Do it again. I already did it. All right. He's a real comedian. That's what I got. Not only that, did I get actor, world, world win, we said. A great actor, a great writer, a great performer, a great comedian. May I say something? A great father. May I say something? A great friend. May I say something? Because I have my own two bits as well. Please. He's a great guy. You never said that.

And also secondly, I've known him probably one of the longest, right? - Yeah. - And he's one of those guys that I always knew. So, Sebastian Mastroca. - You know what? Guys, you know what? Let's just go back to the normal way you do it.

Why? Does it seem organic? We can't do NPR podcasts. It's just not for us. How many did you do today? Two interviews? I did School of Greatness. You ever do that one? What is that? I've never heard of it. What is that, Carlos? What is that? What is that? We're not that great, so I don't know if we'd go. Well, we've never seen them in the charts. Are they bigger than us? No way.

I love your attitude right now. Thank you so much. This is like Lewis Howes. Now what's his thing about? It's more like, you know, grown up shit. He's a two-time New York bestselling author. Is that what it says? Yeah. Two-time All-American athlete, keynote speaker, entrepreneur. Wow.

- Yeah, it was more about like life. - Life, yeah. - We do life too, bud. - No, no, yeah. - How's your life going? - Some people watch it. - Yeah, yeah. - Some people watch it. - Yeah, yeah. Whoa, dude, you're flexing, huh? - He's being a little diminutive and it's interesting you would do that to someone you respect so much like Sebastian. - No, this is the first time I have someone I admire. - On our show? - Yeah. - You've never admired any? - We had John Cena, didn't admire.

Zach Efron, didn't admire. No Zach Efron, no Meyer. All right, we've also had, who else have we had? U2. The band U2. We had Bono, we had Bono, and The Edge. Okay. Yeah, we're like, you know, we're the bottom. But my point is, is that... It's fine. Who else have we had? So, you had Bono in here? No. No, he's just, he doesn't...

His English is bad. He's bad. Yeah, we never had Bono here. He meant he has us two. Oh, I thought it was you. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. He's very bad with communication skills. Can you shut the fuck up maybe? All right, because we have a guest. Anyway, so Sebastian is an old friend and he's killing it. You know, it's great. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. Here's another reason why I like you. No, I don't. Go ahead.

I just don't get it. What are you doing? What's the problem? He knows we like it. But tell him why you like it. For people listening. I'm sure they like him way more. Way more than me, but I'm just going to tell... I'm sorry. Back up, everyone. Okay. You got to take those off because it's doing something to your mind and the way you're podcasting. It's affecting everything. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is that? I told you it's pimple patches. I had a breakout. Yeah. I went to Vegas.

I got cream. Yeah. I put wrong cream on my face. I broke out when I came back. Okay, let me ask you this because this is the second time I've seen this in less than four days. Yeah. Someone had that on. These? Yeah. At a party that we were at. It's a kid party. And one of the mothers had one here. Now-

Can you come out with those on and not mention that you have those on? Must say something. Must say something if you walk in. And I would never go to a public, if I was going to a party or a thing, I would just get over it.

This is home to me, so this is easy. If I'm going to a party or an event, can't, just deal with the pimple. Just deal with the redness. This woman didn't say anything about it? No, I said you got something on your, like, I thought it was like from opening a gift that one of the stickers got, I thought you got a star on your, she's like, no, that's for a pimple. I'm like, is it getting that comfortable now where people just come out with acne cream? Yeah, yeah.

Well, let me say something, first of all, to the company that makes those. Why don't you make them so that it's something that you would have on your face, like a liver spot?

or a freckle. - Right. - Right? - So are those, what are those? - No, these are real liver spots. - Oh. - Yeah, that old Korean men get. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. But my point being is if I had a brown liver spot like there and that is it, I think it would just blend into my face, no? - Yeah, but then this feels like it's more obvious, hey, I have a thing on my face. That would be, we would start calling each other going, is Bobby okay? There's way more liver spots on his face than used to be. - Right, but maybe you can like pull on heartstrings, maybe a,

something even worse, like a scar, you know what I mean? Or lesions. - You should have worked in Halloween makeup. You would have been way better at that than comedy. That should have been your career. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is great. I'm in. You start a business doing this and I'm in. - You guys, you guys. - Yeah. - Thanks. - Is this how it's gonna go? - This is how it's gonna go. - Yeah, there we go. That's how it goes, okay? - That's how it goes. - Are you plugging something?

What the fuck are you doing here? I'm just interested in the dynamics of you two. Okay, here we go. Because I generally don't watch the show. Neither do we. I have a family. So are these guys guys you're hanging out with on a social level or is it just a work thing and everybody goes their separate ways? No, actually we do. It is kind of like a little family for us. And it's five guys.

Well, there's a woman in the back I met briefly. Who is it? That's McCone. That's McCone. You have a new intern? Yeah. Yeah, where is she? Oh, I thought he was talking about McCone. Can I see what she looks like? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, another Asian. Hi. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're an intern? I am. Okay, sit back down. Thank you. I'm trying to impress you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, listen. Okay. I'm impressed, number one. Congratulations on all the success that the show has had. Thank you. It's...

Really fantastic. And I'm impressed that you guys are so big that there's an intern program. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is. I have bad friends. I mean, that's pretty impressive. Well, I'll tell you what, though. We don't do the intern hiring. We have no say. They bring in people. And I'm starting to get a little sus. We might need to audit it because it's always Asian girls. Yeah. So I don't know what's going on over there. I think they're doing it for me.

It's not working. It's not working. No, it's not working. It doesn't make me feel comfortable. Trust me. For whites. I'm cool with any race, any gender. Okay. But let's mix it up a little bit. Yeah. That's been the fifth Asian girl we've had. We love blacks. Okay. Oh, yeah. We love them. Let's just make sure when he says that. Yeah. I just saw the movie Fences. The movie Fences? Very good. Donzel. Yeah. Very good movie. Never said that play. Do the scene. Let's do the scene. Son? I don't know. I never saw that. Oh, my God. But let me try. Let me try. Let me try. I got so nervous. No, no, no.

Son, okay, let me try. Son, why do you think I work all day paying bills and putting food on the table? Not because of my duty, but because I'm your father. Because you love me? Yeah. Now go clean the fucking bathroom. No, he didn't do that? No, he says not because I love you. I never saw the movie. That's pretty good for somebody that's never seen the fucking movie. Or the play. Or the play. Am I not right?

Well, I got to tell you. What? The meeting that you were at today was for a movie package deal. And this is what you're bringing to the table? I'm concerned. Sometimes it's lowbrow projects, dude. Not everyone's going to work with Robert De Niro. Sometimes nobrow projects. Sometimes they're so low there's nobrow. And that's okay. You do the monologue. No, I don't know the monologue. I don't remember it. I'm the kid. Yeah, dad. Yeah, dad. Yeah, dad.

You want to talk to me in the backyard in New York, Brooklyn, 1978? Is that when you think it was? I don't know. Let's just move on. Let's move on. Okay. All right. Sebastian, I'm going to ask you something. I got back from Vegas. I went to go see Dead & Company. I don't know. It's weird to me to see people from all different facets that like that band. I wouldn't pick you as that, but do you like that stuff at all or no?

It's funny, my musical tastes are very sheltered. I didn't grow up with a lot of the music a lot of the people grew up in the 80s with. My father, around the house, was playing Al Jarreau, a lot of jazz, Grover Washington, Miles Davis. So I would go to school. I love it.

And everybody was, oh, you listen to the Beatles, you listen to this or whatever. I go, no, I'm listening to, you know,

- Boz Skaggs. - Oh. - I wasn't privy to a lot of this music that a lot of people grew up on. So no, I'm not a Bad Company guy. But I heard the show, is that The Sphere? - Yeah, Dead & Company and The Sphere. - Did I say Bad Company? - Bad Company, also a great band. Also a great band. - I have a line of question real quick, but if you want to say something, I have a line of question. What he just said really bothered me, but go ahead.

Okay. All I want to say is I understand the sheltered. I don't know. My dad was stuck in the... He never liked new shit. Even of his gender. My dad was born in 55, something like that. So I would think a lot of my friend's dads were like rock, 70s rock. My dad only liked Carolina Beach music, soul, Patsy Cline. You know what I mean? Like

He liked either folk country crossover or soul music. You know, like Sam Cooke. And he just never... So, like, for me, it was similar in that way where I had to go fish because my friends were like, Patsy Cline? They didn't know who that was. They were like, who is that? So, like, same kind of idea. So, I had to be like...

out of myself to pretend I knew things when I was young, so I had to just investigate. You just bailed. You were like, Yeah, I didn't know there was any investigating. I just like, okay, this is the music taste that I'm going to grow up with. Right. I'm sorry? You liked Michael Jackson. I love Michael Jackson. Yeah. Who do you, yeah, like who? Michael Jackson, Prince, I mean Madonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those things you did, I know that about you. I didn't get, Motley Crue, I like kind of the hair bands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like the classical rock bands, I didn't get into. Like no Zeppelin? No Zeppelin. Wow.

But if I said to you, like, name me a couple of Beatles songs you would know. I mean, you're privy to that information. Yes. You don't know any Beatles songs. Again, I don't know lyrics to songs, nor do I know titles to songs. Okay. I love that about you. This is what I love. I like it. When you came here today, what did you listen to in the car on the way here? I was talking to people. But if you're not on the phone... I would generally listen to audio books. Or...

The latest Eminem song, Houdini. Whoa, the scale of that. Audiobooks, Eminem. Houdini. Wow. Whoa. The Anxious Generation, that's the book I'm listening to right now. And then Houdini. Houdini.

- Wow. - That's it. That's your playlist. - Right now, yeah. I don't veer far. - Okay, may I ask you some questions? And I know you're a guest and I love you so much. - And don't be rude. - I'm not gonna be, I felt like I was being rude early, I apologize. - You're not being rude at all. - Thank you so much. - I've known you for 25 years. - Okay, so I'm gonna ask you some direct questions then, okay? 'Cause I'm not afraid, all right? I mean, you have Spotify, no? - I do have Spotify. - Thank you. Apple Music, no? - Yes. - Exactly.

A search engine? Yes. Yeah. This isn't rude? It's not. Because I'm confused. No, no, no. Tonally. You're right. I should ask you. Hey, you have all this stuff like Spotify and Apple, right? Better. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. I have it too. And you search things, right, on it? Mm-hmm. Right? Never curious. Maybe let's see what the Beatles are all about.

- No. - Why? - Listen, it is a weakness I have in my repertoire for cultural, you know, I should be able to name many songs from the Beatles and or Led Zeppelin, you know, was it Stairway to Heaven? - Yeah, but watch this. - Dick Perry got it. - But watch this. - Pull that out of hands. - Well, watch this. - I know what you're gonna do. I know what, stop, stop, stop, I know. - Name the last five books in your world that you've either read or listened to.

Atomic Habits. Boom. Let's stop there. Love that book. You've never read... Atomic Habits, of course. Who wrote it? I forgot his name, but I can tell you what the book's about. What is it? It's about the habitual learning about atomic energies within the Earth and also the biosphere of the world and the universe. No, but that is a good lie. I like that lie. It's good. Nice try. Very good. Okay, anyway. This is my point. His learn... You're telling me that the fucking... I'm sorry. Go for it. You're telling me what that book is...

equivalent to the white album? No, my point is he's indulging in knowledge through books. You indulge through music. And I listen to audio books too, just not those ones. You do not listen to audio books. Lord of the Rings, I did. Because I wanted to get all of it. I wanted to get all of it, right? I did. Bob, I know you're so- J.R.R. Tolkien. He didn't narrate it because it was too old. Eric Stolkin? No, no. J.R.R. Tolkien, right? And I'll tell you another thing. I listen to Ram Dass, spiritual shit. Okay. That's in your face. I know you do. I'm so sorry I'm being rude.

Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you're reading.

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Beautiful. Music for me was always about working out, dancing. That's what it always accompanied for me. I like it. It never really accompanied me sitting in my room going, oh my God, man. What he's saying is perfect. I didn't use it for that. For me, it was dancing. How about this? People always say, what's your last meal? What's the last song you'd prefer to hear before you die? If you could control the last song to hear before you go out. Because I think sometimes-

I know what it is. What is it? Nat King Cole, Wonderful Life. Wow. Not good? No, yeah, it's good. I didn't pick you. I did not think that. That song, I love black people. You've said that three times already. We established that already. Yeah, I think the fans are going to call it out at this point. Why? That's insane. You keep saying it. I can say whatever I want. Oh, reinforce it. Okay, no, that's the last one. My point is that I like that song because it's...

It gives me the good feels at I could be in the worst move. Yeah mood and that song comes I am happy-go-lucky it changes that I'm I'm Frolicking I'm light. You know, I mean I'm Yeah, I'm a new man. I love that song. What do you think if you were going out? What's the song you'd like to hear right before you go Billie Jean? That makes me

Come alive. Billy Jean does. Every time I hear that song, I want to get up and do something. You're a good dancer, by the way. My dancing skills have declined over the years. However, growing up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago...

You know this. I mean, you grew up. Did you hit the, you're a little younger than I am, a lot younger. We hit the teen dance clubs. You ever go to Toto's? Not really. Acapulco bar? Not really. That missed our generation. I was more of a live show guy. I went to live concerts. So would you went to a Lollapalooza or what was it? Lollapalooza? Yeah. Wasn't that the big thing? Lollapalooza was the thing. But did you ever, did you ever heard of Fireside Bowl? Do you remember Fireside Bowl? No. No.

I liked little indie hip-hop and rock shows, and they'd throw them at these, like, Fireside Bowl, look it up. Well, I want to know about Toto. So walk me through Toto. You show up. Cover charge? Cover charge, yeah. Line? Line. Do people know you? You get in right in? Oh, they know him. Now? Yeah, but back then. I was never the guy who knew the bouncer, but I was always with a guy that had the in. Right.

This is Teen Dance Club, 17. McGreevy's. Wow, McGreevy's, yeah. Is that Toto right there? No, that's Fireside Bowl. Oh, okay. Hip-hop shows. No, where was that at? Is that downtown? Fireside Bowl is on, I don't even know where it was. It was just outside in Fullerton, yeah. Fullerton, okay. Yeah, no, I didn't. How old are you? 40. Okay, so 10 years. That's a big gap.

So yeah. We're closer. No teens. Yeah, you're, well. Yeah, but you didn't, you know, this is Chicago in the late 89, 90, Toto's, McGreevy's, Discovery Club. That's the hot shit. That was the hot spot. This was, going down up and down Harlem Avenue, cruising in our cars. You ever do that? No. Now, did you have to break off the bouncer every time? It sounds like American graffiti, by the way. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was living in Saturday night. Milkshakes. You like milkshakes?

Okay, okay. Maltz? Yeah, about malt. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Saturday Night Fever. He's just explaining us the story of Saturday Night Fever. I met him Saturday night. You met Mr. Saturday Night? John Chauvin to a Volta. Whoa. Yeah, where? He was at the comedy store. When? Saturday night, I just said. Oh, I thought you said Mr. Saturday Night. Oh, this Saturday? This Saturday, he was there. So Tommy Lee was there with Brittany Furlong. She was doing a show in the belly room.

What's so funny? You said furlong and it's funny to me because it's like the length of a horse in a horse race. It is? What's her last name? Furlan. Exactly. Okay, I just laughed. The boys did it. Did you know who I was talking about? Let's move on. Anyway, so Tommy's there and I met Tommy before, right? So I went up and I went, eh, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, good socially, right? Eh, you know what I mean? I grabbed his wrist and I do a bump with my hip.

To the side. Smart. No, it wasn't because he went like, what the fuck? Right. And then because he was in conversation with John Travolta. And I look up and I go, oh, fuck. Because, you know, I saw it all. Lucas talking. The grease. Good one to start with. Yeah. The grease. You know what I mean? The one where he's, you know what I mean? The cowboy Western one that he did.

- Luke was talking too. - Yeah, that's what, right? And then anyway, it's been Saturday Night Live, right? - Pulp Fiction. - Fever, I mean, Pulp Fiction, right? So thank you so much, right? - In the valley of violence. - So I go, "Hey, I'm Bobby and you..." And he didn't say anything. So I go, "I know you're John Travolta." And I was so, I know, so embarrassing. - So did you get a good energy back or? - No, bad, bad, bad energy. - Yeah. - Because when I don't expect it and it comes out of nowhere,

I don't know how to do it. I get, I read, I read the situation wrong. Well, what did he look like? Was he kind of look like that, like in hairspray? No, no, no, no, no. He looked like the previous photo that you had. Was he bald?

Yeah, he's bald. Yeah, yeah. It's in his eyes. What is? Travolta. He's in his eyes? The Travolta is in his eyes. You know, even when he gets older, you can tell it's in the eyes. You're saying like all of his ability and... Look at those eyes. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. It looks like eyes. So were you taken aback by the eyes? Did you... Is that why you got flustered? Well, I mean, at first, in my mind, I'm like,

for a split second, I was like, I know this person.

and he could be a comedian. I was just trying, you know, going through the thing. I go, then I went, oh fuck, it's John Travolta. And then at that point I was looking at his eyes and he was doing some sort of like Scientology, you know what I mean? Like alien thing, right? I went, you know what I mean? I go, you're John Travolta, you know what I mean? And then I was like, oh, I got fucking bamboozled by his energy, you know? And I walked away. You should have just been like, where's Shelly Miscavige?

Where's she at, John? Or let's like, yeah, yeah. And then just walked away. But then I also bowed to his grandmother and his daughter, I believe. So I go, John Travolta. And I looked at them and I bowed for some, I don't know why. Well, it's instinct. Thank you. Heritage. Anyway. Have you ever been taken aback by, I mean, look, dude, your resume speaks for itself. You've worked with some of the greatest legends of our business. Have you been taken aback?

- Prince. - Prince knocked you out, huh? - Knocked me out. - Tell us, can we hear another story? - Tell me Prince. - This actually was Steve Byrne and who else was it? Butch Bradley. - Butch Bradley. - I don't know who that is. Comic. - We were in Las Vegas. I'm gonna say this is, you got like a crack research team back there. - Oh, well. - Yeah, yeah. - When Prince did the Super Bowl. - Emphasis on crack for sure. - When Prince did the Super Bowl, I think it was maybe '07, '09-ish around there. - Right. - When did Prince do the Super Bowl?

- And let him continue. - Let's go, let's go guys, go ahead. - Anyway, we were in Las Vegas performing, I wanna say at the Tropicana Hotel. - '07. - For the weekend, '07. - Wow. - Okay, and Butch Bradley knew somebody

that was producing the commercial for the Super Bowl. That's somebody saw Butch Bradley on the marquee and said, "Listen, I need funny guys to do something with Prince for a promo." - Holy shit. - Wow. - So we go in. This is at the Venetian Hotel banquet room. We're sitting around a banquet room table.

And they said Prince is going to come in after we kind of do the, you know, he wasn't going to sit through our deal. So he comes in and he's got two beautiful women flanking him. This is beautiful. I've yet to incorporate this into my life, but if there's a moment to do so, I definitely will. Came in with two incense sticks. Ha ha ha ha ha!

And they were holding the incense sticks and it was like immediately you were in the, you were just in Prince's aura. Oh my God. Wow. And he sat down, you know, with the eyes and everybody was staring at him and no one really wanted to communicate with him and he's like,

you know why why is it serious yeah and he kind of broke the ice by doing that we did a couple shots with him he got up the incense sticks were there and he left and i gotta tell you looking into this man's eyes just was

just like a different human being. - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? - Wow. - So that's-- - It's incredible. - That's my-- - I mean, he was-- - One of the most talented people on planet Earth. - But just such a magic man. - Magic. - He's a magic man. - He's a magic man. - He's a magic man, I get it. - That's not even a real, it's like God did it for us and they were like, "We're gonna give you a couple of these."

- Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Oh yeah, well who are these people? - Of magic people like that? - Magic men people. Well, Michael Jackson might be. - Michael Jackson was a magic man. - Magic man. - Magic they, perhaps. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Have you ever come across, this is another guy I think is magic.

Tom Cruise. Have you ever been in his private? Have you? No. Never? Yeah. You can tell that he is, though. Yeah, I could just see that through how he behaves, it's someone that's very connected. Connected. Yeah. I can tell that he is magic man because without giving away much, one of my closest friends who you know works with him. And I mean sitting on the plane, like is with him with him.

and the story she's told, and the way she's dealt with such high-powered people, but she talks about him

It's like an enigma. She's like, it's inexplicable. The way he maneuvers and moves, the way he contacts people, the way he's able to be with someone, stay with them for a minute, and then when he's done, they feel fulfilled. Instead of like, you know how in LA people are talking through you a little bit. They're like, good to see you, man. Yeah, what's been going on? They're not looking. He hones in, has this relationship, and then she's like, it is...

to watch him work. She says it's like he's at work. Even when he's not shooting, he's at work with people. I heard he says hi to everybody. He remembers your name. Remember your name, right? And I knew he was a good guy when he did that red carpet and those people pulled the prank where they squirted the water in his face. Why would you do that?

That's what he said. That's what he said, right? Why would you do that? Like, if it was Jean-Claude Van Damme, Van Damme, yeah, you know what I mean? He just kind of held his hand and goes, why did you do that? I was being nice. I came up to you. And I knew at that moment, I go, this is a good guy. It was a brilliant, look at this reaction. Yeah, right here.

Hits him in the face with water? Is that what it was? It was in France or something. Yeah, yeah, here we go. You can tell he's like diving in. Diving in. Where's the spray at? Oh. Look at how calm he is. He grabs him.

But you can tell he's angry. I know. Yeah. Look, watch. What's so funny about that? It's brilliant, though. Why would you do that? It's ridiculous. Yeah.

Do you like making less of people? All right. That's what's great is he says, do you like making less of people? It was so calm. It's such a good line. Do you like making less of people? And what I wish, I wish we saw that the other guy's face because you'd be watching a man crumble.

As he's being emasculated. Oh, so good luck ever getting in a red carpet interview again. You're out. That guy was, I remember, he was a famous prankster in France. I can't remember his name, but he did shit like this all the time. But he did it so calmly. Imagine a man grabbing your wrist like a boy. Yeah.

Like a little boy and going, why would you do that? I mean, you'd crumble down. Like, what would you do? Like, what would you do, Seb? You squirted me in the face? Yeah. I would probably walk away. Yeah. Oh, just walk away. Yeah, yeah. And you'd be mad the whole time, though. Of course I'd be mad. I don't think I could confront the person. I would probably be stunned, and I would walk away because...

in my head, what's coming next? Ah. Is it acid? Am I burning? What's happening? Right, right. See, he thinks deep, analytical. You know my anger would be, it's over. You would have hurt him. I would immediately find an...

in a comedic sense, my brain would go, got to do something mean but funny. I would try to find water or a drink of some... and grab it and throw it on him as fast as I could. I would immediately try to... But I would do it in a way that was almost like I'm trying to hit you. Like, you know, like my hand might be holding onto the cup...

as I hit you in the face with it. That's pretty aggressive, dude. Yeah, well, fuck it. Just punch him in the face. No, see, because punching, because this, if I did that, I could say, I just squirted him back. Yeah, but what he did was assault. I'm sorry, that's assault. You're allowed to punch him in the face. I don't think that's... Well, I think this was more powerful. You're right. And if this ever happens to any of us, I would suggest that we take the Tom Cruise route, bring the man in,

- Belittle him. - Yeah. - Belittle him. - Yeah, yeah. - Why'd you do that? - Now do you think that's a thing that you should have done? Like a child, he talked to him like a child. - You're right, he did it the right way. - He shrunk a man to nothing. - Shrunk him down, yeah. - Yeah. - Now would you ever do a Christian Bale outburst on a set? - Well we heard that he did. Yeah, we heard Sebastian, he bursts like that on every set he's on.

He's never not done that. I can't imagine. Scorsese has said that in a bunch of interviews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, you know who's a real asshole? Sebastian. Have you ever blown up at all?

No, you're so calm. You're calm. I, I don't, I don't know. I, I've never seen, I, it takes a lot to get me angry. I mean, there are, there are times where I get frustrated and mad, but not at to the point where, you know, it's an outburst of yelling and screaming, losing control. Did your father ever blow up or was he all had the same demeanor as you? He was a little bit more, uh,

he had a little bit more of a temper and he would let it go just around us. Not, I don't think around other people. Right. I don't like, I don't like public displays of anything. Anything. Yeah. When you see somebody kiss in public, like when someone's making out in a line, you're waiting in a line for a thing. When someone's making out, it bothers you a lot.

A heavy make out in public. Really? Yeah. Yeah. A kiss on the lips. Hey, I mean, it's fine. But like when we're like going at it in the line, I don't really see. Again, we did the same thing happened when I did Tiger Bell. Why you put what? No, you do this thing where your eyes start wandering around the room. Wait, wait, wait.

Do you see it on the camera? He was looking over here. No. Do you know why? No, we talked about this. Why? What did I say? I'm just saying. Whatever you're doing right now, I don't like.

What are you doing right now? I was just making an observation. Yeah, but you don't know. And what did I say before when I was doing that? I don't know what the fuck it was. I'm thinking, I'm listening to you. I'm ingesting what you're saying. And I'm going, oh, that's good. I like what he's saying. You know what I mean? That kind of a thing. Let me tell you something. Yeah, yeah. Especially after the conversation we just hopped off. Okay, okay.

Would Tom Cruise do that? Yeah. Oh, you want lock eyes. Lock it in. Lock eyes. Lock it in. You got to realize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it's like? When you're thinking, Sebastian, when you're thinking about movement of conversation, you're thinking in a way where you're swimming in a pool. There's a little bit of water resistance, but it's not heavy.

he's swimming in quicksand. When he's trying to think, it's quicksand. That's why he needs to dart. It's such a thick mess. It's a clogged artery up there. And so when he's thinking, his brain is just like, Stardew Valley, Arsenal. He's trying to get those away. LAUGHTER

to think about where you are. Yeah, yeah. That's what, I know, I see you do. In that order, pretty much. I know, I see you doing it. Stardew Valley and then Arsenal. And then you're thinking about food at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I have at my house? No, I had a meatball sandwich. See? That's what I thought. I know, he was right here. No, I'm listening to everything you're saying, but also, can I just say this before? It's just that I don't, you know, I feel so comfortable around you that I feel like I can dart. No, you...

I have no problem with it. I just remember that happening on the other podcast and I asked you what was going on. And what did I say then? Again, I forgot. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. I don't know what the hell it was. But it's almost as if you are physically thinking. I could see the thoughts. Yeah.

- Okay, okay, all right. - 'Cause it's just a lot of like- - I wanna control that. - Fine, do it. - No, I don't wanna do it because I'm in situations where I shouldn't be darting. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? So it's like, you know, if I'm, you know, like at the pitch meeting today, you know, I was darting a lot and they're like, "Don't dart." - Are you darting on dates? - I dart on dates all the time. - That's bad. - And they don't think that I'm interested.

Well, it's how can I mean, you know. Yeah. Also, I learned some new things, you know, while I've been dating lately, I've been learning some new things. What are some things? What are you learning? I learned that if there's no physical touch from them in terms of like even touching your arm or like, you know, that kind of thing, don't go in for a kiss.

This is, this could be a sex ed teacher. Yeah, yeah. Because what I've noticed is, you know. General cues. I know, because when I ask people like, you know, I've been, I went on this date with this girl for three times and there's no kiss, right? And people are like, I wonder what that is. But then I, in my, I have kissed before. And so I've just been seeing all the signs of the kisses before. And I just realized that,

there needs to be some sort of affection. And then if they're not touching it at all and they're doing quick, sometimes they do that. Like I'll lean in and they'll pull away. That's not good. - We should just end the day. - Yeah. And this last girl that I had to, I even tested her today. I'm not lying. I just basically said that when you get out of the car, it's just almost as if you're jumping out of a plane.

Like when I'm dropping off, like that was a great date. She goes, she's off. You know what I mean? And so, and she opens the door so quickly. I don't have even time to even get in there. Right. And so in my mind, I'm like, if that happens, it's a no go. Ask her how quickly she showers after the date. That'll be a tell. I don't get it. If she immediately showers when she gets home, it's just, she's trying to wash you. When she runs away, she's trying to shed you off of her.

How do I say that, though? Go, hey, you know the last date we went? You left the car. Did you take a shower right away? After we go on a date, do you shower right after? Yeah, I do. I do three showers actually in a row. I do a scrub rinse, scrub rinse, scrub rinse. I shower, bathe. Yeah, yeah. And then in my mind, I should go. That's it. That's it. Block your number. He's not interested in me. Right, obviously. Yeah. Well, let me ask you this. Uh-oh.

Well, because you were in a relationship for a long time and I don't really know your dating patterns. When you go out with a girl for the first time, like where are we going? Restaurant? What are we doing? Oh, I'm glad you're asking. And this is a very good question. Oh, sorry. Something came up. Yeah, we heard it. So, yeah. So, number one, some people spend their money, right, on things like watches, right, or cars and whatnot. Right.

But some people like myself, I like food, like nice restaurants. You mad at me? - Why? - Don't be mad at me. - It's okay. - Yeah, people are different. - We are very different. - Yeah, I'll, you know, like-- - Oh, don't bro. - See this? - Yeah, that's-- - Yeah, this is just an Instagram quick buy.

I look at it and say, I buy it. You know what I mean? So I do it like that. I often wonder who buys that shit. It's me. I'm the guy. Yeah, I'm the guy, dude. What idiot, Andrew Scrolling? Who in their right mind? Yes, I'm the one. Even if I feel like it's not going to work, I buy it anyway. Oh, they've got me. They've got me a few times. Just to see. Yeah. So anyway, so I have probably 10 spots that I generally go to for the first day where I know the menu. I know how to park.

And I know that everyone likes it almost. Yeah. You know what I mean? I agree. What is one of those places? Give me a spot. Well, so. He doesn't want to give them away. Because now when I say it, are the girls listening now? Because most of them are Bad Friends fans. They're like, oh, he brought me there. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's cycling girls through the same five. It's actually kind of five to six places. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So there's nothing wrong with saying the place. I mean, it's the place. All right. So I'll give you.

And I know that this is a spot that you like because I've seen you there before. Yes. I don't think we've ever seen each other at a restaurant. We have. Oh. You can say Chosun? Where is it? Is it the one up on the roof? No. Chosun. Yeah, Chosun Gold Bean. It was a Korean restaurant on Olympic and I did run into you there. You're with your wife. I swear to God. I don't think so. I'll tell you why now. Because it's a story that I tell every girl that I bring there. One time I ran into Sebastian here.

Really? Do you think he would show up now? Yeah, yeah. It's one of those things. So I know. Oh, I have to ask Leonard. What's it called? Chosun. We'll text it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's... I think it's one of the best Korean places. Well, we did your birthday there. We've been there a million times. You took me to a Thai place on Sunset. Toy? I love toy. Is that it? Yeah. Back in the day, though. Yeah. When you used to hang out. You still go there? No. No.

I have some money now, man. Oh, okay. Hey, hey, hey. What? Too much? There's nothing wrong with toy? You're right. You're right. If you want great Thai, go to toy. Well, good Thai, not great. Right. So then I also go, I'm not done, okay? Okay, please. Another one I do, because I know the guy, is Major Domo, David Chang's restaurant in Chinatown. Because I know what to get there. It's also, you know what's great about dates, and everyone listening right now, you go to a place where you can share everything.

- Yeah. - Right? If you have individual, but if you can somehow like, you know, they have their hand in the hummus and you can accidentally kind of touch hands and go, "Oh, you go first." Like you can have those little moments. - Right. - You know what I mean? - Oh, wow.

What do you mean? You know what I mean? Or you do something cute like, hey, you know what? I can't get that plate. I'm going to just sit next to you. So I'll pull my chair around, you know what I mean? And sit next to him and then just eat that a little bit. Make fun. Have fun. It sounds fun. It's fun. It's fun, right? Here's another thing I do, and this is a great thing. I walk away a lot. You leave them. No, no. What I do is I do this. So if they go, if they make fun of my body,

Right? Are you on a date with me? What are you talking about? Yeah, sometimes they make fun of me like, God, you're fat, right? I'll go, you son of a bitch. And I'll walk away like I'm leaving the restaurant. Sometimes I'll even just leave.

We're going to come back and we have a good laugh about it. That's fun. It's an interesting time with you. It's very communal. You're eating the same food. You go to the car. You come back. Bastia is a place? Bastia? No one's going to be bored with him on a date. Yeah. Look, I'll be annoying for two seconds. Is there any... Probably not, but is there any Scorsese stories that you can share?

At all. I have a Scorsese story. I also like the Pesci one, but I'm going to move on. Pesci. Whatever. I'm going to get invited to the trailer. Pesci. Yeah, this was before that. Okay. So...

We're going to do the scene in the Copacabana, myself, De Niro, and Pesci. Amazing. So cool. And I didn't know what to expect. I don't know if you guys go through this. Prior to a new TV show or a new movie that you're going to do, it's like a first. You mean Farts Part 3? What are you talking about? I do shit movies. Ha ha!

Yeah, our resume is not good. Yeah, it's not like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys have done movies where you're popping in. Maybe. Yeah, okay. Maybe not there the whole movie. Like whack-a-mole. We're whack-a-mole. And we go away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. We've been in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. So I feel, for me, it's like a school, and I'm an exchange student coming in in the middle of the year, and everybody's friends are ready, and I have to kind of...

- You can relate. - Make friends with the-- - I know. - The what? - I said you can relate. - I relate to this situation. - 'Cause he literally had the same thing happen to him. - Okay. - Yeah. - That's why I feel when I come in on these two, three days or whatever I'm doing. - May interject, I know it's your story. - No, no, go ahead. - But also, it's like the highest level of that.

You know what I mean? I mean, these are like- This is Harvard. Yeah, I grew up watching Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, you know what I mean? Raging Bull. I mean, all of that. This is like you're a new student at MIT. I can't imagine the pressure and the nervousness. I just can't imagine it. But go on. Imagine at MIT they're building a fucking rocket and you walk in the room and they all just turn.

and then go right back to work. That's what in my mind. Is what it is. I would feel like. You're like nothing. Yeah. They're like, oh, he's fucking here. Well, I think this is the problem with us is we create this situation that doesn't even exist yet. Oh, yeah. Fear, false evidence appearing real. Yes. So I went in with the expectation of questioning myself. Do I belong here? What am I doing? I'm a comedian and I'm working with these two guys. So.

The rehearsal was just Scorsese, De Niro, and Pesci, and myself. And we're going over the scene. And I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if they were going to be in their own world. But they were very gracious. Hey, how you doing? De Niro had to come up to me and say, you're doing good things. You're doing good things. Oh, OK. Maybe he knows what I'm doing. So I felt kind of like, OK. That's a nice positive thing. I know. And then I do the scene. Cut!

And they all get together in a huddle. And I'm not in the huddle. I'm thinking this is it. I'm going home. Yeah. They didn't like what they saw. They're having second guesses. Yeah. But again, this is I'm negative in any of my thoughts. I'll give you a decision happened to me today. I got an email from a doctor and I'm going to go over some blood work.

They said, can we move the appointment from 1015 to 10 o'clock? I surmised that they need an extra 15 minutes to tell me I'm going to die. So that's where my head is constantly. Yeah. So in this situation, I thought I was done. It was over. And then obviously that was not the case. We worked out the scene.

over and over again and it turned out great. And then, you know, Scorsese ended up in between shots. It was like 50 minutes to set up the shot. Basically kind of sat with myself and not even the main cast, just the other actors that were there, telling us how he grew up in New York, laughing, telling jokes. Thanksgiving was around the corner. He started talking about his, you know, Thanksgiving plans.

And at moments I'm sitting there going, man, this is a guy that, you know, to your point, watched growing up, watched all of his movies, was kind of an icon in filmmaking. The fact that he came from an Italian-American background and now, you know, he's sitting there telling me he's going where he's going for Thanksgiving. I was I was it was a really nice moment. So.

I think the point of the story is sometimes we create something and we think that maybe we don't belong, but truly we do belong. And you just have to kind of believe in yourself and your abilities. But may I add? We still don't belong. I don't belong. I'm going to stick with that. Yeah, yeah. With our side. We're not in. We're on the outside. But yeah, yeah, yeah. But can I say this though? Window watching. There are times though, because you know,

With the little work I've done. I've still worked with Ben Kingsley. I did a scene with him. I did a scene with Ed Norton. I've done a scene with the new movie coming out with Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis and everybody. And you build it up in your mind. I remember like the first time I was doing Borderlands, I was in Hungary, Budapest. And I remember I get a call like, yeah, Eli wants to meet you on set. I wasn't shooting for a week. He wants to meet you right now. I don't know why. They urgently drive me there.

And I walk onto set and they're all there. Like, K, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, everybody. And then Eli comes out. He goes, "Hey, just wanted to meet you, man. Thanks for doing it." He gave me a hug. Everyone was super nice. Like, "Hey, we're gonna have dinner tonight." You know what I mean? And then in my mind, I'm like, "Oh, they're just regular people."

But in our minds, we build it up to this thing where it's like, don't lock eyes with them or you might go, you know what I mean? You may be out, you know? And you hear some of these nightmarish stories. You know, you've heard it before. But it's like, that hasn't really been my experience. I just, you know, you too, right? When you're with Zach at Efron and John Cena, I mean. Those guys never talked to me. Not one word. The whole filming. Yes, they did. You went to Russell Crowe's house. Yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so are you on set?

the comic relief? Are people coming to you? Are you, are you Mr. Like personality? That movie was a comedy. And so, yeah. And Pete Fairley and I were like, you know, we, I would stand around him and just, we would pitch each other jokes. I mean, that was like a,

I've never done a serious film in my life, so I don't know. I don't know what that would feel like to do like a real. For me, it's everything I touch is like a goofball. It's wacky. So it doesn't there is no pressure in that regard. But that's an interesting point because Scorsese, it's out of our it's not in our world. Right. It's like you have you're you're playing with the greatest actors ever to live.

You know what I mean? - It's true. - And I know you, you're a comedy star comic. I saw you the first time you ever went up. Remember that? Remember that one time you came over with that one line for that HBO show? It had something to do with a plane or something. And we rehearsed it over. I was living in that condo on Beachwood. - Yeah, yeah. - Right? And I'm like, "You're gonna get this, Seb." And you didn't get it. And I remember you being kind of bummed you didn't get it, right? But my point is that, so this is the world you come from. So I guess, you know, in many ways, it's a little different what,

dealing with Scorsese in that way, I think. The pressure's a little bit more, I think. Don't you think? Well, because, yeah, his pedigree is so, you know... Yeah. Not to say that these other people we work with, like Eli, are fairly... I mean, they're legends in their own worlds, but...

Scorsese. He's the top guy. It's an league of his own. Like Tarantino, Scorsese, maybe Oliver Stone. I don't know. Spielberg? Spielberg. I mean, there's like five or six of them that are like that. I didn't mention your name. I'm sorry. John Krasinski. If. I think he's coming up, dude. He'll be right next to Scorsese one day. I think so. I think he's very talented. Shut up. Scorsese.

John Brzezinski's got the talent. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is bananas. It's not bananas. I don't want to do this debate again. We're not doing it again. Yeah, please. Just work with him. I know you did. And he is very talented. I know. I know. But Scorsese. But listen, here's another story. Go ahead. Scorsese wants to see your wig. I was wearing a wig in the movie. Yeah. Put the wig on and I'm waiting to go in. This is the first meeting I'm ever going to have with this guy. I walk in, sit down.

And he starts talking about movies from the 30s, 40s. This guy's like a movie savant, right? I haven't seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm trying to figure out how do I hop out of this and get into it? It's like someone talking to me about the Beatles. I just didn't know the movies he was talking about. So I go, what could we connect on? Kids. So I just had a kid at the time. So we started talking about kids, family, whatnot.

I walk out and the wig person goes, what'd he say? But the wig, I go, I think he thinks it's my hair. There was no mention of the wig, no nothing. We just talked about movies and kids and then I walked out and apparently the wig was okay. But yeah, I don't know how to...

navigate those types of conversations where I'm in the, I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, I mean, when I did that movie, "Hungry," the shoes and what I said. So I was, I show up to Budapest, I don't know anybody, and my agents were like, "No one's gonna hang out with you. "You have a month there alone. "You're gonna be alone."

So I show up to my fucking hotel room and we're at the Four Seasons in Budapest and there's a letter on my bed. Dear Bobby, you know, I don't know you, but...

can you want to have lunch tomorrow at noon it was by jamie lee curtis a huge fan right so my god i couldn't sleep that night i was like what am i gonna say i gotta do something you know you know i think i rewatch halloween or i don't know what the right right and i show up pleasant lunch then some of the other actors show up and jamie goes i want to show you guys something that's very important here in budapest so we walk over to the river

And along this river, there's these bronze shoes that are kind of like cemented into the fucking ground. And it's, you know, she explains during Nazi Germany, the Germans came in here and they killed a lot of Jews and they threw them over into the river. So one of the actors, Cheyenne Jackson, goes, oh no, these are baby shoes, right? And like a fucking moron, I go, it could have been a million.

Well, this is reminiscent of Travolta. Yeah, right. And then the whole group walked away from it. Yeah. And I went, and it didn't get a laugh. And I went, oh yeah, you're not at the store. Right. You know what I mean? So I had to literally let go.

This is Bobby, you know what I mean? In a movie, this is Bobby amongst comics. And it's that kind of stuff that keeps you out of Mitzi's office at the end of the day. That's kind of an alarm. I think that's what it is. That's really it. I think that's what it is. It's that kind of stuff. So I did read that wrong. It's a bad joke. It's a bad joke. It's a bad joke, but also you were trying to lighten the mood. I was trying to be funny. Give it some levity. Even if I was at the comedy store.

It wouldn't have landed. It wouldn't have landed. No. But that's because you're nervous. Yes. I'm nervous. I'm like, I want people to like me. You know what I mean? I told you. I've said this on here, but we've told this story. But same thing. I had when Jim Carrey was my boss and I'm dying up here and we were eating.

And the conversation was going great. It was about comedy. So we're in our zone. You know what I mean? It was like we're ping pong and I was like, holy shit. He's telling me guys he loves. I'm saying bits that I love from guys from back in the day. And we're going back and forth, back and forth. Then there was like a little lull and I was like, so where are you living these days? And he was like,

Everywhere man, where is everybody living and I was like fuck Fuck and it was an inescapable. Well, I don't get what he's saying though. He's trying to say dumb question I don't want to talk about it. Oh Where I fucking live. Yeah, it was like a None of your business a nice way of being like none of your business a little bit Not that we he wasn't so gracious. I think it was a way of being like I

I don't really talk about where I live to people. Do you know what I mean? In his mind, it's like- He could have done like a Brentwood kind of a thing. I think he was just goofing around a little bit, but it was a little like, hey, come on. Yeah. We're not going to get close. You know what I mean? He was kind of like saying, this is the last dinner. Do you text Robert De Niro or not? No.

So after you did two movies with him. Yeah. He played your dad in, what's the family? About My Father, yeah. About My Father? Right. And after the premiere, after all that, you never talked to him again? There might have been one exchange of a text message, but no, we didn't have that type of relationship. You know, we did the scene. He sat down at his chair and, I don't know, opened up a notebook and I was learning my lines. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

So there was never like, hey, you want to grab a bite after this? No. Wow. No. It wasn't like that. Those guys also are the age gap. They're settled in their ways. They've been doing this for so long. They probably like a system. A lot of those guys, they like it their way. They kind of want to...

Yeah, but I'm doing the pitch today, right? I was like, they're like, what actors do you think? And I'm lowball, like people I can get. How about the guy that's on NCIS or whatever it might be, right? The eighth lead, right? I mean, for him to go, De Niro is insane. Yeah, it's wacky. Did you ask him personally or you went through agents and stuff?

No, we the producer of our film had worked with Robert before and he reached out to him and said hey I got a script you might like he read it we got wind from his team that he really enjoyed it and he wanted to read it out loud and

get it up on its feet around with a bunch of actors. So the studio hired a bunch of actors in New York. We all sat around the tables. You flew to New York? Yeah. For a table read. No, he walked. He walked to New York. To fly to a city for a table read, you would do that? If Robert fucking De Niro. You're right, you're right.

goes, hey, kid, I need you in the Maldives in an hour and a half on your own dime. I'd be like, I will fucking rent a private jet, Robert De Niro. What level would you not do it? Let me throw some actors. Carrie Elwes from A Princess Bride.

I do love him. He's great. I need you in New York right now. And I would say, my sweet Wesley, I'm on my way. You would say yes to Carrie Elwes. I don't know, man. What's the project? It's a great movie. What is it? It's a movie about... Do it in a British accent. Hello. It's a movie about... He's English? Carrie Elwes is English?

I thought his name's Carrie. Yeah. I thought it was a woman. You don't know who Carrie Elwes is? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's British. You've never, you don't, never heard of him? He didn't have one in The Princess Bride. Oh, interesting. So his accent was different in a movie than it is in real life. I didn't, never seen an interview of him, so I don't know. Right. So what about, what if Seb called?

And asked me to do something for him? And he goes, I have a table read in New York tomorrow. Will you fly to New York? Yeah, that's not even a, that's, come on. What are we talking about? That's a no. No, it's 100% a yes. I don't know if I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. I think, who's in it?

Okay, I'll fly to New York for you. God you'd have to think about it. No, I would fuck fuck. Yeah, do anything for him So what are you plugging now? You have a movie coming out or what? What is it? No one does it better Nobody flows. I look at the numbers and they're fine. So I'm doing something, right? No, no, I know you're I'm saying I'm gonna change you shouldn't I love you so much I love you more than you. Okay, I

How long have you been doing this podcast? How many years? Four years? Four and a half years? How many episodes? Four long years. Four long, long years. How many episodes are we on, fans? 223. 223. Was there a moment in your podcast where it was like a tipping point where you're like...

"Oh, we're off to the races. We got a beautiful fan base." Or is this something that was a gradual build and kept onboarding people? When did you know you were popular? Episode one. The first one? No. I would say this was a confluence of ... Not to give the back story, but the truth really was Bobby relapsed and his dad had died.

And I was with him dealing with it, filling in for him on his other show with his ex at the time. And so I did a bunch of fill-ins. And then we had a personal situation where I wanted him to get help. And then he was like, when I get out, I think we should start that show that we had joked about starting. And when he got out, was like funnier and healthier and happier than he'd ever been on the heels of tragedy of his father.

And we started the show in a little bullshit studio, like a piece of shit, cockroach infested. How gross? It was fucking gross.

And right away we were having so much fun fucking with each other and then COVID hit. And so it was like- Perfect timing. No, but it was just like the harmony. The first episode was wacky, insane. And when we put it out, people were like, oh yeah, this is, we've been wanting these. Because the fans had said we should get together for years. But also we, I had this-

YouTube show called Talking. Yeah, I did that. It was an interview show and he was one of the guys and I just, I always thought that that one was my favorite one. The way he just, we kind of rode the edge together in a weird way. It was just, back then people started being like, why don't these two idiots get together? And over the years we joked about something and then-

To be honest, Kalilah, his ex, she was like, why don't you guys do it? And we were like, I don't know. I have no idea. And truth be known, and I'm going to say something that's not funny and honest, is that because I know about Simon and Garfunkel and Wham, they all broke up.

It's egos, right? So for me, it's like he's the captain of the ship. Stop. No, stop, stop. I'm being honest right now. Stop it. I'm not stopping anything. He's the responsible one. No. Yes. Well, responsible, but that's- And also, I give you a lot of the decision making, I feel like. Hmm.

Yeah, so my point being is that- I have to because you're sleeping. I know, exactly. You're right. But it's like, sometimes I'm awake. And even in those times I'm awake, I go, let Andrew do this. You know what I mean? And so I think there needs to be my ego. It's not an ego thing with us. I think that's what's helped. When he did that movie, the Farrelly Brothers movie, or the Farrelly movie, I filled in with him. And the first time in my life, I was like-

so happy for somebody and going, yeah, I'll take care of our home until you come back. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's the first situation where there's no ego and we're happy for each other. And we get along for the most part, I think. Well, when you...

You know, you and Pete are old friends, right? Well, yeah. I didn't know you guys were that tight. First of all, I didn't know that you fell off the wagon. Several times. I only have two and a half years now. I've put him in rehab three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three times. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, I almost died. Wow. What?

This is FFYI. Okay. You know what I mean? For your information? For your information. For FFYI. You know what I mean? So anyway, yeah. Yeah, we've been through kind of the, I guess, the ringer. So there's a history there. Yeah, no, Pete and I have known each other for 12 years and kind of same thing. There was no tragedy or anything like that, but we... I wasn't making it funny. I like it.

It was so tragic. But yeah, we started our show years, years ago. And I've just always found it interesting how these things become what they are. Yeah. And it's always nice to start it with somebody that you already have kind of like nobody put you two together and said, you guys, you kind of. Well, I will say, I think that this is,

But this is things that you know from stand-up that this show kind of exemplifies as the fans. It's so much fun. The fans send... All this is fan art. We interact with them a lot. It just becomes kind of like this family. And whenever we do the live shows...

he kind of reiterates that, that it's like, it really is, feels like a family. It's fucking weird. I feel like we all know each other. It feels like it's, no, I've seen the videos. Like you guys are out there. It's wild. You're interacting. I think that helps the rhythm of it a little bit. And you, you also meet them before the shows. We do like a meet and greet and stuff like that. And it's like, it, it,

it's shocking to see the age range and- - We have people bring their 13 year old sons to the show. - The walk of life are different. Some people are affluent, some people are more like us, you know what I mean? Gritty. It's a great combination of people. Old ladies. - When we get someone who looks like they would go to your show, meaning someone that's well dressed. - It's like, "Yes, we got one!"

When we get like a well-dressed, someone that we know like valets, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We always go, holy fuck, a Sebastian fan is here to fuck us. That's how we seriously feel. Let me ask you this. Because, you know, lately I've been doing, I'm not headlining these things, but, you know, you do these big amphitheater-y kind of shows. I know you're used to that. But like, you know, I did one with Bert and Tom. It was like 15,000 seats, you know what I mean? And then I'm going out with...

fully loaded this Thursday. They're pretty big arena, you know? And when I, even when I'm on stage, it doesn't, I don't feel like it's a club. I feel like it's not as fun really. Do you like the bigger, you like the bigger rooms? Because it seems it's not that fun. You like it?

I mean, if I had a nice small theater, 1,500 seats. I like the Wynn Hotel where I perform in Las Vegas. 1,500 seats, nice, intimate. It's a nice room. I love that room. Yeah, comedy club. Yeah, you're there. Yeah. Comedy clubs, great. I love comedy clubs. But you get into an arena, it loses some of the...

you know, intimacy that you would normally see at a smaller place. But it's exciting, you know? There's another feeling that you get when you don't do a theater or in a club. It's like the energy of, you know, 15, 20,000 people screaming. But in your head, are you... I mean, for me, sometimes it's like I'm on stage in front of that many people and I'm like...

Do I belong? You're like, what the fuck is going on? I don't even accept that this is even a real thing. Do you know how big you are is what I'm asking you? That's a weird question probably. If anywhere I feel comfortable is being on stage in front of three people or 20,000 people. To me, that's the one place I feel like I'm comfortable. Have you ever done a show like that for three people? Like a corporate?

I love corporates, by the way. Yeah. But I've done those shows at the Comedy Star to speak to what Bobby was saying. When I first came there, I got like these 12, 31 o'clock spots. Yeah, terrible. Terrible spots. Yeah, yeah. I did a corporate for five adults. Five people? Was it planned for five or five showed up? No, he had a... There was a day. I can't mention the names, but I'll tell you afterwards. But he had a tough day, canceled the party, and decided to keep...

just the three, four other confidants with him. And I still had to perform and I couldn't say no because the check cleared. So I was like, okay, good money. Huh? Pretty good money. Yeah. Well I fucking did it. Yeah. Yeah. Was this at a home or a banquet hall? It was at a resort in a banquet room in a restaurant at the resort that they had. This man owns the resort, which is even more, it's like all his. So he sent everyone home and I was like,

Okay, and I grabbed the arm of the girl who was like liaisoning me. Like they gave me like a house and I was in the house hanging, watching TV, eating a great meal. I was just so excited. I think I called my dad. I was like, I'm having a fucking weekend, man. This is amazing. Then we get in a golf cart. We go to the restaurant and I grab her elbow like a scene out of a sitcom. I go, what's going on? I was like, how is this? And she goes...

change of plans. It was a tough day. I think he just wants to keep it intimate and it's just going to be the boys. They just ate. They want to drink and laugh and then they're going to smoke cigars around the fire pit if that's okay. I was like, well, it's not okay, but it's over. What could I have done? And so then I had to, I mean, it worked out because I just talked to them.

I mean, I just was goofing with him. You're just basically having a conversation, but you're standing up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his friend was a fan. It was his birthday. So I was kind of like a... The other guys had no clue who I was. I mean, the other guys were like, what the fuck is this? Who is this guy? Yeah, yeah. It didn't matter. I was just... But that was the most uncomfortable I felt in all my years. And I was... You did the full time? I think I probably was up there for 30 or 40. I was just goofing. I would do 12. At 12, I'd be like... Hey, you usually do 12. Yeah.

That's not a big shift. - I'm sorry, that was funny. - Come on. - That's good, it's a slam. - I've had people at clubs when I go to clubs sometimes go, Bobby was here a couple years ago. You know he did 17 minutes? - I'll tell you why. Can I tell you why? Let me defend myself. Can I defend myself? If I'm not feeling it, I'm not doing it. - Okay. - Stop. Let me finish, okay? Somebody, and I don't know who, came up with these rules.

The feature does, MC does this now, feature does this, right? And this and that. And my thing is, is like, fuck the rules. All right. If I'm not feeling it and it's not going well, I don't want to make everyone suffer through an abomination. It's never going to be an abomination. I know, but in my mind it is. So I'm like, you know, at 17 minutes, and that only happened like twice in my life.

Right, you know what, guys? You win. I'm out. You know what I mean? Wait a minute. You're headlining and you do 17 minutes? Yeah. And what are the people? There's a riot? No, there's a riot. They just kind of... It's weird. They get up slowly like, is it over?

You're right. And then the waitresses freak out because they haven't put the checks down. Right. So I think one time I went out and go, hey, guys, wait for your checks. Just talk amongst yourselves. Fuck you. I'm out. And that was it. Yeah. Wow. It's true. It's unbelievable. And then the manager comes back there and they go, 17 minutes, huh? I go, yeah. And that's it? And they go. It doesn't matter. They're going to pay you anyway because no one got the refund. Right. And it's a door deal. So fuck it.

Only a couple times that happens, okay? A couple. Yeah, yeah. McCone, do yourself a favor right now since you've been so quiet and polite. Why don't you say something nice to our guests because I know you're a fan. So you can go say something nice and that's it. I mean, it's just- That'll be it. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yeah, that's it. You give them a little bit. You give them a little bit. You don't want them to run too far. And we know what you meant by that. We do. We do. And so, wow, that's good. You know what I mean?

- I will say-- - Can we go to the plug now? Because he isn't out and I don't want to-- - Oh, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. We'll make sure you get gone. - Let's get the plug. - Well, don't say it like that. - Or let's do it in an organic way then. - No, listen, I'll do it. - Can I just try? - No, let him do it. - We can edit it so we feed off of my phone. - Sebby, it's so good to see you, man. What you got coming up?

- Well, okay, you can keep that. But then when we're going through the tape, let's see how this works. - You want two versions? - Yeah, two versions. - All right, all right, so. - Show them both. - Okay, okay, go ahead. - Well, I'm gonna do my version. - Yeah, go ahead, that's what I'm saying. Go ahead, what the fuck? - So, you know, being on one of the top podcasts in the world, right, I just see it fitting

since you have a podcast listening audience to let them know that I have a podcast as well. It's called The Pete and Sebastian Show, which we referred to earlier. It's myself and Pete Correale. Sometimes we do guests. Sometimes we have a fun banter like you guys are doing right now. He's kind of like a beer and peanut guy. I'm a wine and cheese guy. So kind of an odd couple vibe. On top of that,

I just got done filming a show called Bookie, which is on Max, season two. Season two. So if you guys like gambling and comedy, it kind of marries the two. And last but not least, I have a tour that starts in Norfolk, Virginia, July 11th, which is 94 shows over eight months. Wow. It ain't right.

And Pete's going with me, Pat McGann's going with me, and we're going to rip through the United States and have a ball. So that's kind of what's going on in my life. But I couldn't be more grateful that you guys asked me to come here and do your show. It's just a pleasure to see all your success and hard work paying off. One last thing. Class. One last thing, though.

and i tell you something distracted me i didn't do the eye thing i didn't do no no something else you did oh is it me what the doing i tell you what was throwing me off a little bit was the white fingernail polish i don't know if it's polish or paste or what the hell you got but i

was thrown off many a times with the white fingernails. Is that your new look? What is that? I haven't seen that from you. - Yeah, yeah. You haven't seen a lot of things. - Do you get those dark? - From where I'm sitting, that looks like a satin finish.

It's gels, right? No, I'm talking about the others. You get them buffed out? I get them buffed out, yeah. And it's so funny that you bring it up, Sam, because I learned to do manicures from you.

Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. He wants credit. So it's very interesting that something that I learned from you, it's like, you know, that commercial son, you know what I mean? What is this marijuana? Where'd you learn it from you, dad? Right. Right. So I learned that this behavior from you and yet you try to use it against me in a weird way. Don't lean back, lean back. No, please lean back. It's aggressive and lean back a little bit. Okay. Thank you so much. All right. What's up, dude?

I'm flattered that you started taking care of your hands. How about your feet? He's going to show you they're polished as well. They're polished as well, Sebastian. You asked for it. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, listen. I might have had some influence on you getting manicures and pedicures, but for the record, I never had...

anything other than a clear coat or a buff. But you can't buy your kid a guitar and be shocked when he becomes a rock star. You know? You're showing him the ropes. The kid's got to fly free. You gave yourself a ukulele and you learned how to play the electric guitar and now that's what he's doing. That's what he's doing. I thought it was tape at first. Almost like Michael Jackson. Oh yeah, yeah. It's not that. Yeah, it's not that. It's gel. I don't know what the fuck that is, right? But

But anyway, dude. You know I've never had one? Yeah, man, don't do that. Okay. I also want to – let's just throw this out. You want to get fucking beat up after the show? Anyway, thanks for listening. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you.