Rudy Has A Seizure
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Hey, everybody. Andrew's on tour. I'm on tour. Please come see me. I'm going to be in- Indianapolis. Frank, California. Indianapolis, Vancouver, Charlotte. Where else am I going? Pula. Pukola. Oh. Pukola, Oklahoma, Kansas City, Cleveland. Yeah. St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio. Jesus Christ. Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, New York, Philly, Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and Minneapolis. I'm adding shows in Minneapolis and in Boston.

and in San Francisco. Wow. Come out and see me. Come see him. AndrewSantino.com. Tell him to come see me. Come see him. AndrewSantino.com. AndrewSantino.com. You two are best. Who are these two idiots? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. I have some good news for you though, Carlos. I'm glad you're here. What's up? So, you know my friend Peter? Oh, yeah. Peter what? The gay Asian? Exactly. Bingo. Bingo.

The only Peter around, my friend. And so Peter, the other night, I was talking to him and he goes, I'm a top now, which is great. Now, is that a whole thing for them to make the switch? Hey, God, you're tan, huh? Yeah, where have you been? Surfing. Serbia? What'd you go to Serbia for? Yeah. Wait, you've been surfing every day, huh? Every weekend. Santa Monica?

Yeah, or El Porto Beach. Honestly, you are the most tan I think I've ever seen you. Yeah. What's the goal here? I don't know. I'm just surfing and I just get really like brown. You're in brown face. Yeah. I thought you were getting ready for your Kamala Harris impression. Oh, let's hear it. Yeah, let's do it. I heard you. No, no, no. I don't know. Yeah, do the impression. Come on. Give me a word. The phrase that you should say is, you think you just fell out of a coconut tree? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one she says all the time.

I don't know how to do it. Yeah, just try. Come on. Okay, you're at the Democratic Convention, right? Can you give me a sample and then I'll follow you? She kind of sounds like she's like, you just think you fell out of a coconut tree. She almost sounds like she's going to cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do the you just think you fell out of a coconut tree. Let's play the clip. Fell out of a coconut tree. You think you fell out of a coconut. Oh, there we go. There we're here.

- Hearie hearie. - Hearie hearie. - How are we approaching this issue in a way that we also understand we cannot support and help our young people if we also. - Also? - Also. Go ahead.

You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? That's pretty good. Dude, that's so good! That's pretty good. Call Lorne Michaels. Yeah. Call Lorne Michaels right now. Call him SNL. Oh my God, dude. That was so good, dude. First try. Let him know he can make right by the Shane Gillis mistake. Hiring an Asian. South Asian. That was very good. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? That's really good. That's so good. You're much darker than her, though. And then the last photo...

that we saw with the other podcast that I do that you were on. I know. But a lot of the comments are like, oh, she's now an adult. Because she's tan? No, there's something about the way... Because, you know, you have to understand, it's like, you know, dude, like in different strokes. Yeah. You know what I mean? When Willis, not Arnold, but when Willis grew up, you were like, oh, Arnold stayed the same. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- Arnold didn't really. - Yeah, he didn't, yeah. - He kind of plateaued. - Yeah. - But when Willis became, right, when you saw him kind of transition-- - People watch him grow up on the show. - So we watched you grow up. - We watched you grow up on the show, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah. - She looks the exact same to me.

Yeah, to me, she looks like, you know what I mean, a kid. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our little sister. Our little sister. You know what I mean? And she's, you know. Yeah. And this thing didn't grow, oddly enough. Up here, it didn't grow. Oh, that never grew. Yeah, it kind of stayed the same. Yeah. Have you learned anything? You've graduated college now.

- I haven't. - Wait, how many years has it been? Aren't you been there for four years? - For 46. - I have one, well, two more semesters and I graduate. - What is that? A teacher in Mexico is teaching his students physics using One Piece? - One Piece? - What is that? Oh, that's the thing that you love so much. - The anime. - The anime. - Would you like to learn through One Piece? - Yeah, that would be more interesting. - So did you end up watching that one anime I told you to watch? - Not yet. - Oh my God. Nothing I suggest she watches. Nothing.

- No, it's just when you push, then I don't wanna-- - Oh, but I feel like if I don't bring it up, you won't either. - Then yeah, that's true. You won't be informed at all. - Yeah. - You gotta find some way. - Okay, I'll find some way. - I watched The Whale on the plane. - Great movie. - My God. - What whale? - It's just the Brennan-- - Oh, okay. - Whale. - I watch a porn called Whale too. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, I've seen that. - Yeah, yeah. - I think it's just that that was like the, it just bummed me out. - Yeah. - It was just tough. - You had never seen it before.

No, you know what's so funny? I started it once and then I was like, you know when you start something and you're like, this is going to fucking make me sad the whole flight? What's sad for me is I have a drawer like that. You do? Yeah, I have one of those drawers where I'm like, chicken in it? Yes, fried chicken in it. Watching him eat the chicken was the toughest. That's so tough to watch because it's just like,

- The pizza with messa. - The pizza, oh yeah. But that actually looked kind of good. - Yeah. - If I'm being honest. - And then the, yeah, what's the ching chong ching chong, the China Asian lady. - She's so good.

She's so good in that movie. She's so good in it. What is her name? Yeah, I just called Jing Chang Cheng Cheng a lady. Yeah, Hung Chow. Hung Chow. She's so good, that lady. All right, so there's something I want to talk about that I was told not to talk about, but you know me. You got to chat it up. I got to chat it up because if it doesn't, it turns into a cancer. Chat it up. Chat it up. It's not a rumor. It's not a rumor thing. No, it's a fact.

It's not a fact. It's just that... So it's a rumor? It's not even a rumor. It's just a little observation. All right, give it to me. All right. I was in Butte. Butte, Montana. For three weeks. With Jim Belushi. Yes. Leslie Jones. Yes. Tiffany Haddish. No. No. Eleanor Kurgan. Eleanor... Tiffany was... No, she wasn't. No.

She's supposed to be in that movie? No, Lil Rel. That's Tiffany, isn't that the same? That's the same person. Okay. That's right, that's right. And Whoopi. It's all three. Whoopi, Tiffany, and Lil Rel are the same person. Yeah. Yeah. It's like all the characters Martin played. Right. So there was this guy named Brick Patrick who, a talented actor, he was actually in the movie, the movie you did, but the second one. He was in Now You See Me 2. Yeah, but he was Woody Harrelson's brother in that. His name is Brick Patrick Brick? Brick Patrick. Brick Patrick. Brick Patrick.

There he is. Right. So Brick wrote the movie. Great actor. Good looking guy. Good looking guy. Great guy. Right. And he goes, he grew up in Butte. And he was like, yeah, dude, you've never had Chinese food like where I'm about to tell you. Oh. So back in the 50s, you know, there was a gold rush or whatever and a Chinese family moved there and they just never left. I just feel like a Chinese family got lost.

Where we going? Yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, the gold rush was in Northern California. Oh, that's right. Not in Butte, my friend. Let me tell you what happened. You're not wrong. There was gold in a lot of places. Exactly. But they went too far. But they went east. Keep on going! Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they love east. They love east. Yes. We go east. No, go north. That's where the gold is. No! No! East? Yeah, yeah.

And they walked east into the desert. So they end up in Butte, Montana. In Butte, Montana, right? All right. And they go, oh, fuck, we fuck up. Fuck.

And the dad goes, what do you mean? We should have gone north. There's nothing here but white people. Correct. Yeah, yeah. So let's open a Chinese restaurant. Brilliant. Called Peckin. Peckin? Yeah. Peckin and Butte. P-E-K-I-N, I think. Peckin and Butte, Montana. Yeah. There it is. Peckin Noodle Parlor. Yeah. And now, so look at upstairs. The third photo. I mean. See that? It used to be brothel.

Whoa. It used to be a brothel and then they divided it up and they go, let me turn this into a restaurant now. I don't know what the logic behind it, but that's exactly what it looks like. Wow. They never changed it. So those are, are those little rooms to have sex in? Yeah, but now it's opened and now there's tables where you can eat. I love the Wild West. Yeah, right back in the day. I love the Wild West. Wouldn't that be nice? And by the way, why don't they make it a brothel and Chinese food? Exactly. And opium den it used to be. Oh.

All three? All fun. Oh, come on. Come on. It's amazing. It's like the Asian Walmart.

You can get anything you want that's Asian. You know what I mean? So I went there and it's not Chinese food. What is it? I have no idea. Was it like spaghetti? It was, because I, there's this, okay, there's two, I have a problem, all right? This guy named Jerry that runs it, his parents ran it for many years. You met the guy. Yeah, yeah. And so I did a comedy show there. At the Chinese food? No, no, no, but next to it. Oh. It's the theater. Oh.

And he came and he go, and we're sitting there in the lobby and he was super skinny. And I go, man, do you have Kung Fu or something? I was just making fun of him, right? Eat something. Oh, but you won't eat your food, right? Because it's bad, right? Whatever. I kept making fun of him. Then he had tears in his eyes and he goes, buddy.

- I have cancer. - Oh my God. From the food? - No, no. - Oh. Terrible. Terrible, stop. - MSG from- - MSG. - Wait, he said- - Yeah, yeah, tears in his eyes. - Oh, Bob. - He goes, "Buddy, you want me to be truthful to you?" I go, "Yeah." He goes, "I have cancer." It came back and I'm on Medicaid. I'm like, "Oh fuck, here we go." - What kind? - What? - What kind? You didn't ask. - I didn't ask. - Why wouldn't you ask?

I don't know what kinds there are. All of so many. Shoulder blade. Yeah, it could have. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Can you get it in the finger? I don't know. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So anyway. Poor guy. Yeah, I go, oh, man. Terrible. So sorry for making fun of you, man. You know? Yeah, but you know. Good luck to you. He knew you were joking. You're a comic. You're a friend. He didn't. He had tears in his eyes. Oh, Bob. So then I go back to the green room. I'm sitting there like this. And Brick goes, what happened, bud? I tell him what happens. He goes, oh, fuck.

I go, what? He goes, I didn't even know. Oh, man. Right? So like a half an hour later, I go back on the lobby and the guy has tears in his eyes. Still crying. Still crying. And he goes, I joking. Fuck. This guy's great. Fucking guy. I love this guy. I love this guy. This fucking guy, Jerry. I joking. Well, that's a good laugh.

By the way, he does definitely. He has cancer. What? No, he has cancer. That was his way of playing it off. But the food was, it wasn't bad. It's just not Chinese food. He brought me out a bowl of water. There's Jerry right there. With noodles. Is that Jerry? Zoom in. Yep, that's him. I joking. Look at Jerry. There's Jerry. Good guy. If you're ever in Butte, go to Peckin. If you're ever in Butte. You know how often people are rolling through Butte. I'm going. Look at him.

That's my guy. Does he not look like he has cancer?

Doesn't he look like I would buy it? Maybe. I would have bought it. Yeah, you would have bought it, right? Maybe he walks to work every day. That's true. Maybe he's just staying thin to win. That's true. It is an interesting play. Yeah. It's an interesting play because now, do you feel bad for him? No. Yeah. But maybe he's telling the truth. Yeah. Look, there he is. Do you think he's got it? He's crying there. He's always crying. He's telling the truth.

He's telling the guy he has cancer. He's telling the reporter, I have cancer. Look at his face. I have cancer. Historic family-run Chinese restaurant in Montana. Yeah. Wow. Well, we'll take, we got to go. We got to go there. And, you know, spending three, I'll tell you another thing that happened. Give it to me. And what would you do? This is, you know, let's do a segment of the show. What would you do? What would you do? What would Andrew do? Yeah, probably not do the movie.

Fuck you, dude. No, I'm kidding. I don't, dude, I'm sorry. I don't get Hollywood shit like you do. Just kidding. Your shit, oh, Zac Efron. You know, I get the fucking ghetto shit. I'm just joshing. I love when you, and then I turn on the TV, you and Star Wars commercial. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's killing it. Well, that one I did. So, you know, it's like, you know, don't make fun of me, my pal. I can't get the shit you get. Shut up. God, anyway. You have an upcoming show on NBC with a brand new top.

That's true. That's true. By the way, the show should be called I Got a Brand New Top. I Got a Brand New Top, yeah. And you guys work in a clothing store. Yeah, yeah. I Got a Brand New Top. That's funny. Brand New Top. You should be the showrunner. I would love to. So anyway, another thing that happened was I went to an AA meeting. You only went to one? You were there for like two months. I went to two. Okay. And it's at the school and I walk in and it's like a lot of people would like, you know,

oxygen mask, you know, tanks. - Oh, the tanks. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I mean? And I'm trying to like, you know, I'm trying to do it. - Trying to be in. - Right. And then there's also only one Uber in Purdue. So when you kid an Uber, you have to wait there for two hours. - It's just one guy. - And then when he shows up, he's like, "Sorry, dude, I had six other." He knows your name, dude. Like you've seen him before. - Yeah. - Yeah, "Sorry, dude, I had like eight other ones." You know what I mean? - Was it Jerry?

He's cooking, he's got an Uber, he's gotta do it all. Yeah, so then this couple, the nicest couple I've met in a very long time. He goes, yo man, you need a ride home? 'Cause the Ubers are bad around here. And I go, yeah man, if you can. You know where I'm staying, yeah. So I get in his car with his wife. And so the hotel that I'm staying in, the Finland,

has a gigantic Finland, you know what I mean, sign. - Finnish flag or something? - No, no, no. No, not Finland. - Finland, you're saying Finland? Like the country? - No, F-I-N-L-E-N. - Oh, Finland. - Finland. - Yeah. - That's it. And so that, see that thing? And that's a neon sign. - And it glows. - It glows. I'm in the car and we're going opposite of that sign.

- You can see it. - I can see it. It's the biggest building in Butte, right? So I'm turning around like this and we're on a freeway going the opposite direction. - Uh-oh. - Right. So, you know, let me, I'm like, you know, I think of different things. I'm a thinker. - You are. - And I'm a survivor. - Yeah. - So I'm like, what do I do here? Jump out? You know what I mean? - Bail. - Yeah, no, but I did the smart thing. I go, where are we going? - Well, that's a good start. That's a good start when you're being kidnapped.

Am I right? Where are we going? Where are we going? Yeah. Like a little, like a little, I always do that too. Where do we go? A little, yeah. A little accent comes out. You have to. Yeah. Like I'm the Asian Oliver Twist. More, more portage, please. Right. So where are we going? Right. And the guy goes, oh yeah, you're going to our house. Oh no. Oh yes. No, I want to go home. Yeah. Yeah. I know me too. Me too at this time. I want to go home. Yeah. Me too. Me too.

Also, I had an early call. Yeah, you got to work. I had to get home. I got to go to work. Right, so, oh, you go to your house, right? Yeah, you go to our house. I go, why? You're meeting the family. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. What's so funny? It's insane. It's insane.

I walk in, these two gigantic, I don't eat mastiff dogs. - Bull mastiff. - Yeah, jumping on top of me, right? These three kids come up, they were sleeping. - Oh, you woke them up. - Yeah, these white kids. And one of them looks at me and goes, "Danny gave me a $300 allowance to get school closing in Missoula." - Very nice. - And I wanted to go, "Oh yeah?"

I don't give a shit. That's mean. But that's what I wanted to say. I know. Hey, kid, I'm never going to see you again. But I didn't do that. I go, you know, because I'm a good guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, really? Missoula? That's beautiful. Exactly. I must have been there for like an hour. Now, what would you do? Oh, my God. I would have never gone. No, you're in the car. In the car, I would have made myself throw up in the car. I would

I would have stuck my fingers down my throat. Threw up all over the car. So they got to pull over. Yeah, pull over and I'm out and I'm running. By the way, the nicest people I've ever met. I have his number. Great guy. Just kidding. But you were thrown up. I made myself thrown up. 100%. Gag myself and get out. How do you get out? What would you do? I just scream and say, stop the car.

You would scream? No, they're not. No. They're going to go, what are you doing? What are you screaming for? Then they would take you to a hospital. And like seizures. Oh, do a seizure. Right, seizures. I don't know. That's different. Let me see you do a fake seizure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're driving. I'm in the car.

We're both driving. We're both driving. Two-wheel car. Yeah, yeah. Those new two-wheelers. Two new wheelers. My engine's different. No, my engine's different than yours. Oh, okay. Yeah, so mine goes... What's yours go? Mine goes... Mine goes... For sure. Yeah, yeah. It's broken. The radiator with the belt... Your belt is wrong.

All right, we're going back to our house. Are you excited? Come back to our house. Are you excited? Stop the car. No, we can't stop the car. No, we can't do that. Stop the car. Whoa. What happened? What happened?

That was insane. That was insane. You're not having fucking, you're getting possessed. Yeah, we got to take you to a mental hospital. Stigmata, dude. That was stigmata, dude. Oh my God. Six, six, six, six, six, six. I would stop the car and run out. Run. We'd be running into the desert. I guess she did it right. Holy shit. That helped. Wow, dude. That worked. That was really good, dude. Well, I hope that never happens. Oh, shit. I hope we never encounter that. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

So you had a fun time. I should have done that. You had a fun time in Butte. I should have done that. God. Right? Not as good as hers. Hers was really good. You do a stigmata. Yeah, yeah, it's good. Wow. Juicy. You're growing up. Yeah. Yeah, you're all growing up. But the movie was fun to do. The movie's going to be good. I heard Little Maconi Boney says you're very excited about it. I'm excited because, you know, Jim Belushi, like, I never thought I'd ever meet him. He's the man.

And just one of the nicest guys. Just what a great, generous guy. He seems like a cool dude. Yeah. How was throwing? Let's go to you, Chicago. This is the ball. Yeah. I threw the first pitch. If anyone knows, he went to the Cubs game. Yeah. And I sang the seventh inning stretch. There he is. And thrown out the first pitch. So this is a big deal as a kid from Chicago. Throwing out the first pitch is fine. They let local insurance agents do that.

But to sing the stretch, that's a big deal. Was there a pop when they said your name? Yeah, it was actually kind of fun. Yeah. They go, Andrew Santino. And you can hear. Well, you can see it. They'll play. Oh, let's see. He's doing my credits. What's that push pause? Didn't hear Bad Friends at all. He definitely says Bad Friends. Okay. He 100% says it. Listen.

Okay. Wow. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Is that your wife screaming? No, there's a ton of people around. I mean, there's 30 of us. Bam. Oh, wow. That was so good, dude. And I had to give Clark a big hug, wrap my legs around the boy. So fun, man. I'm so proud of you. But the coolest thing was this, was getting up in the booth and singing. Singing was the best part by far. Wait, let me see you sing. How exciting. I hear you, good and low. Wow.

This is my favorite.

For the Cubbies. I love it. It's great. Anyway. What a dream. It was actually. What a star. It actually was one of the coolest moments of my life. I even said, I was off a couple of drinks and I turned to my mom and my wife and I said, I can die now. And they got a little upset, but I really did mean it. That was it. I did it. That's it? This is it. That's it. I don't know, man. Doing that. That's the death. That's it. You've done everything. I did it all.

Popular podcast. Bingo. It's a very small but supple television career. Very good. Couple of films. Very good. Stand up, not bad. Pretty good. Sing in the seventh inning stretch. Yeah. Check all the boxes. You did it. Bury me, baby. I think you did it. Bury me. Please no. I need you to be around for at least another four years. Four years, yeah, that's fine until we do stop the show. And then die. Yep, I will. And then die and then I'll disappear. So it was a big moment in my life. Congratulations. This was one of those things for me that was huge.

And also we had a family member that passed away. Oh no, who? Not during this. Oh, thank you. I mean, thank God. And some of his ashes got spread on the field, which is also, boom, nice little tip of the hat because he grew up around the corner from it. I thought that was kind of nice. We spread his ashes. Well, we didn't, I didn't. Someone did. You don't do that? Have you never spread ashes somewhere sacred?

That just sounds insane. How's that crazy? I'm watching a game and there's like powder in my face. No one's near you. Yeah, yeah. A little powder on my face. It gets done. Oh, Andrew's uncle. Real sly. Real quick. Real low. No. Is there a smell?

There's some right there. Look, who's ashes? Luke's mom. Someone on tour gave us this. What? Yeah, our fan's mom. Right, a fan gave us some of his mom. So weird. Yeah, he hangs with McCone back here now. Is that really that weird? That's some of his mom. He wanted some of his mom to be with us. McCone, I'll give you $1,000. I'm not kidding you. If you snort that whole thing. I'll do it. No. No. No. You will do it. You're sober. Yeah, you'll do it.

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I mean, if you think of like Castaway, right? In the movie, Tom Hanks is out there on this island for years, right? For years. You ever see that movie? No. She has no idea what that movie is. Do you know what it's about? No. Okay, we can tell you. Castaway with Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks.

So Castaway is this, okay? He's best friends with a volleyball. - What? - Well, okay. - But don't laugh. - That's not funny. - That's not funny. He grew up. - He's a little slow. - Remember Forrest Gump? - Yeah. - He's playing the same kind of guy. - It's like a sequel to Forrest Gump. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So what ends up happening is he gets HIV and they banish him to this island.

- They banish him to the island. But they go, you can bring one person, your friend. - Your friend. - This is kind of in the post future. - Yeah. - Right? And he goes, well, I want to bring this volleyball. And they're like, dude, you can pick a human. - And he's like, that is a human. - Yeah, that is a human. - So he gets HIV, they banish him to this island. - And see that blood on the thing? It's some of his HIV blood on the thing. So that Wilson has,

- Right. - They want to be the same. What's so funny? - It's not funny. - Nothing. - And then what ends up happening is on the island, he makes a wish one night to grow old, grow old. And he does it on like, you know, this is Ultar, it's like a little animal that lives on the beach. And so then he starts to grow old. - But then what happens is like, you remember in Benjamin Button?

- Yeah. - That he goes the other way. - He goes backwards. - But since Wilson is a volleyball, he doesn't go backwards. He just gets... - Right.

- Yeah. - Stop, stop. I know, I know. Stop, stop, stop. - First of all, hitting on her, like all this stuff today, your thinnest of ice. - Thinnest of ice, right? - Says he wants to snort the mom's ashes. - Well, you were saying- - You don't say. - Don't tell Tay to me, bud. - You don't tell them to me. - You don't tell Tay to me. - I'm trying to offer my services right now. - No, what I'm saying is when we're doing a bit, you know what I mean? And you know what the bit is, right? And you're cackling like a fucking hyena, right? How's that gonna work? You too.

- I was holding it together. - You know? - Wait, what's the end of Castaway? - Oh, the end of the movie's amazing. - Well, so that's, see the- - So his friend Andy comes to rescue him. His friend Andy comes to rescue him. And there was a rift between him and his old boss, Buzz. And when Andy- - There was also a rift in the time continuum. - Space time continuum. - Yeah, time continuum, yeah.

And he goes back home and his wife has already fallen in love with someone else. Helen Hunt. Yeah.

Now, let me ask you something. Great movie. In that scene when they find him and he comes back and Helen Hunt is remarried. Yeah, got a family, right? Right. But then doesn't she try to fuck him after that? No. No, it's over. She doesn't chase after? They have a moment. They have a moment where they kiss, right? No, they don't kiss. I think they do. They kiss. Well, it's her ex-husband. No, I think they fuck one time. No, they don't. No, they don't. Really? No, they don't.

- Okay. - But I will say they have a moment, then he leaves and then jumps in front of a train. - And he dies, yeah. - Yeah, he jumps in front of a train. - That's a sad ending. - It's a bad ending. - Here's another movie I saw. - By the way, it was a local train. It wasn't even an express. It stopped a lot, which I think was nuts. - That's sad. - You better watch it. It won 15 Academy Awards.

Okay. Yeah. You know, we talked about this the other day. Tom Hanks has never been, except for the Elvis movie, he's never been a bad guy in anything he's ever done, in any movie he's ever done. He's always been the hero in a nightclub. No, what about the one Catch Me If You Can? He's not a bad guy at all. He's chasing Leo. He's chasing a criminal. Oh, he's the bad guy. Yeah. Okay, that's right. I mean, I do agree with you. Yeah, Leo's the bad guy. Leo is not the bad guy, but he is the bad guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's interesting. You can't name any movie he's done where he's the bad guy. A memorable movie. A good memorable movie. Oh, no, don't.

Well, go to any of them then. Go to his top hits. Don't go scroll through everything, but go to the top hits. Well, before you do, let me think though. Okay. Saving Private Ryan. Good guy. Philadelphia. Yeah. Big. Great guy. Mr. Rogers. Oh, yeah, of course. Lady killers. Lady killers. Yeah. He's a bad guy. No, he's not. But killing ladies. Yeah. They deserve to be killed. What murder? Go to the movies. Seriously, go to the movies. Cast Away, Philadelphia, Big Forrest Gump.

I mean, go down. You can see all the things he's done. It's just all the toy stories, Charlie Wilson's war, the Da Vinci code, polar express, the terminal. I mean, just look at that fucking road to perdition. Green mile is a hero or a good guy in everything. He's that thing you do. He's just Apollo 13. What a great. Have you seen Apollo 13? A league of their own. Watch Apollo 12 first.

Watch all the Apollos before that, but 13 is the best one. You can start at like four. Start at Apollo four. Yeah, start with four, yeah. By the way, we have to play this trailer real fast because we were going through movies of what to watch back home with my mom. And I wanted to watch Mr. Baseball with Tom Selleck. Do you remember Mr. Baseball? Oh my God, this is one of the best. So good, so good. Watch how fun this trailer is. Tom Selleck is Mr. Baseball. Look at how these two do trailers, by the way. Okay. This is phenomenal.

Well, there's some Japanese people in this? Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, I want to remake this movie so bad. He falls in love with the manager's daughter. Yeah. This is a great movie.

It's so good. Explain to me why. Because it's a fish out of water. I know. And I mean that from a sushi reference. It's a fish out of water. Can you go anywhere else? No, it's got to be Japan. It's so funny in Japan. Why can't you go to like Bosnia? Okay, we could try Bosnia. Let's try Bosnia. War-torn Bosnia? Is that where we're going? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. It's such a good movie. It's such a funny movie.

- 'Cause it's filled with racist stuff. - I know, I know. - It's hilarious. - I get PTSD, I don't know why, when I hear it. When I hear that, for some reason, how do you feel about that? How do you feel about that? - It's very racist. - Yeah, yeah, but how do you feel? - Yeah, yeah. - Do you have a seizure?

It hits us in a way. For her, it's like... That almost, wow. Yeah, yeah. Let's see if you have a seizure when that music comes on. See, it didn't. You're fine. Or a gong. Yeah, the gong. I've never seen a gong. Ever. Well, we got one right here, don't we? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to have one. That's right. What?

I know. It's crazy. That's why. You could only have made this then. Then. You could not make this today. But it would be funny as shit today. No, what you do is you get a bunch of just Asians and just show this movie. I'd love to see the reaction. Oh, yeah. React. That'd be fun. That's very good. That's fun. What are you scrolling through, sweetheart? Oh, just some like... Well, go to Mickey Rooney. Have you seen Mickey Rooney pay Asian? Oh, so there was a white guy named Mickey Rooney. So good. You're going to love this performance. He's still alive. Yeah, yeah. So...

That's a white guy. That's a white guy. With like prosthetics? Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Is there any video or no? Some of his work? And this was completely accepted in America. Accepted. Promoted. Promoted. We loved it. Loved it. They loved it. This is what Trump is talking about. Yeah, this is what he's talking about. Make America Chinese again. This is real, Dad. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Try not to laugh. I love you.

To be fair, this is how you wake up. Yeah. That's the funniest thing you've ever said. That's the funniest thing you've ever said. Alright, that's it? No, really. I want to see him talk to these people.

Audrey Hepburn. Insane. You cannot go on or keep ringing my bell. You disturb me. You must have a key made. It won't do any good. I just lose them all. Okay, that's it. He really does look Asian. He looks it, doesn't sound. The voice needs to practice. It sounds perfect. The sound is? Look at that. How do you feel about that?

- It's scary. - Scary. - Yeah, it is very scary. - But he looks, I think- - Like your uncle. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. Hair and makeup did a great job. - You know what? Did he get an Oscar for, hair and makeup should have gotten an Oscar for that. - 100%, I would. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Breakfast at Mr. Ushinoi's. - Yeah.

And then John Wayne, we've seen that, right? Oh, yeah. I think we've shown this. Have we seen this? I think we did. But she's never seen it. I know. And she needs to know what it was like. You got to know. Yeah. All right, tell me what's going on with Gen Z. Yeah, we want to know. Yeah, we want to know what's up on the streets for Gen Z. Gen Z? What was the segment? Spill the tea. Spill the tea with Rudy. The tea?

There's no tea, but I have a story. God bless. I went to Hermosa Beach to party.

- With who? - With like my friends. And they said that they were gonna be cute guys. And all I saw when I went there was old white guys with cowboy hats. - Yeah, you went to Hermosa Beach. - Yeah. - And I got sick from it. - Whoa, whoa, what do you mean? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, tell me, tell me. - Put something in your drink? - No, I don't know, but I was sharing drinks and I got like, I have a cold. - Right now you do? - Yeah. - But I'm okay, it's been a week. It's been a week.

Thanks for coming to the show. It's been a week. Wait a minute. Don't share drinks. Don't share drinks and don't take drinks from other people. No, just friends. I don't trust your friends either. I know, but whenever... When you say old, are you talking 30 year olds? Like 40 and up. Okay. And they were trying to like dance. On you? It was so weird.

- It's so weird. - They all had cowboy hats on? - It was so weird. And the girls were like, "Oh, there's gonna be cute guys." - But they paid for the drinks. That's why you went. - No. - Where did you guys go? A bar? - Yeah, a bar. Sharky's. - Oh my God. Sharky's in Hermosa Beach. That's insane. - Yeah. - Wow, how gross. - You gotta get new friends, I think. - That's why I take Kaleiola's. - Did anybody recognize you? - At school. - No, at, oh, where?

Like at the work, like this random guy just came in the office and was shouting, are you from Brad Friends? From Brad Friends? Bad Friends. Is that Mickey Rooney? Wait, so I want to know though, at Sharky's, when you go to Sharky's, it's your girlfriends and four old white guys in cowboy hats? No, the crowd was older. It's hard to believe. Why don't you just leave? Why don't you just leave?

I don't know because they don't know anywhere else. I thought we were going to LA. Yeah, you need a completely new group of friends. You got to switch. Yeah. They're the party girls, so I thought, oh, they know. They're not party girls. Obviously, their partying is bad. Yeah, they're bad. They don't know how to do it. This is bad partying. And it smelled like piss. Okay. The music was so bad. I just... What was the music? I don't know. Like Budo, it's like...

- What's Budolt? - Budolt's like Filipino disco song. - Budolt? - Budolt. - Never heard that before in my life. - No, I actually know that song. - It's a Filipino disco song. - It's a Filipino disco song. - No, you don't know, honestly, you know Budolt. - Yeah. - It's popular on TikTok right now. - Oh yeah, okay. I believe you. I believe you. Oh yeah, I believe you.

- When you say paging Dr. Vic. - Paging Dr. - Emergency. - Emergency. - Paging Dr. Vic. - Well, it's gotta be nurse oriented if it's Filipinos. - Hey. - Come on. - Good. - Thank you. - I like it. - But yeah, that's what happened. - That's what happened. But I thought you had, if you're cruising for dicks, I thought you had a boyfriend.

I'm not cruising for dicks. I'm just like... Then why would you care? I like to look. Oh, you want to look. Window shopping. Window shopping. It's always fun when there's cute guys. I see. It is always fun when there's cute guys. That's kind of my mantra. I went to a party that you would have loved. Where? Malibu. Oh, a little Malibu-ian over here? I have a friend that had a little party in Malibu at her house. Yeah? And they're all 20-somethings. You should have invited her. Men and women. And you. Yeah.

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Somebody walked in the living room. They're like, did somebody order Chinese food? You dropping off or picking up? That's strange. Interesting. But the party was nice? It's interesting that you would say that because that's exactly the demographic of people that like our show. That's right. And so I have to say that they were big fans. Big fans. And they even knew who you were, my friend. Okay? Oh, so you were vibing with them. Yeah.

- The guy's King Viber. - Dude, I'm the master vibe. In any situation, I'll go to a library, I vibe. - He vibes everywhere. - Yeah, I can go to a fucking Pep Boys. - Vibing. - I'm vibing, dog. You know what I mean? I can be in Mazatlan.

Vibing hard. Hard. Hard vibe. Hard vibe. Where else can you be, you think? Me? Yeah. The point of... No return. No return to... Yeah, you're vibing out there. When I'm at the point of no return, king vibe, dude. King vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? When I'm cruising. Oh, you're cruising. You're vibing, dude. You know what I mean? The cruises I go on? Hard vibe. Fuck yeah. But then I went to the...

The chili cook-off in Malibu with the gang. Have you been there? No. You know what it is? I do. Have you been to the chili cook-off? You guys know? What is it? It's a chili cook-off in Malibu. No, it's not. There's shirts at Aviator Nation about it. I know, but do you know what it is? It's a fair. Okay, well. There's rides. I don't go to fairs, dude. It's rides. That's right.

And they have those rides, like the zipper. - Yeah, I like the zipper. - Remember the zipper? - Yeah, it goes this way and that, it's like a- - Yeah, yeah, it's so scary. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then now, you know, back in my day, they had the thing where you, it looked like a saucer. You go in and you get stuck to the wall. - Right, I like that. - You like that? - I love those. - But check it out. The new generation improved it. - They walk in the middle, don't they? - No.

Huh. Wait, would they do that? I've seen guys walk in the middle of those things. Oh, I've seen the, yeah. Yeah. First of all, it's called the gravity. It's called the Gravitron. Yeah. Yeah. Gravitron. But now what it does, it tilts. Oh yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before back in my day, it never tilted. No, now it goes sideways. It goes sideways and back. Right. So yeah. Anyway, there it is. Gravitron. Gravitron. Love this thing.

You'll always see there's a guy who's bold enough to get in the middle. Yeah, there's always a nerd like that. What's going on here? Yeah. Just like younger people know our podcast. Yeah, I think. No, I mean, no, it was, I'm talking middle school. Why were middle school people there? I don't know, but it was like. My boss's son knows about us. How old is your boss's son? Middle school. That's what I'm saying. I had kids come up to guys. Can we get a Mr. Hey, Mr. Well, yeah.

If we have this kind of influence from middle schoolers. Excuse me, mister? I go, yes, son. May I get a photo with you, mister? He goes, sure. Where are your parents? Fuck them. Oh, wow. I go, whoa. A rebel. Fuck you too, mister. Wow. I go, just take the photo quick before I, you know. Yeah. And that, you know, it's shocking to me that, you know, it's like, I know, it's a good thing. It's good. Play to the youth. Play to the youth. But how are they listening? YouTube? YouTube?

Yeah, we're on YouTube. Oh, okay. That's good. Yeah, we're on YouTube and we're on Spotify and Apple Music and we're everywhere you can get podcasts. That's real good. That's really good. So you're Dean's... What? What? Son? Whose son? My manager's son. At work? Yeah, at work. She said like, oh, my son listens to your podcast. Oh, wow. And what'd you say? Like, oh, like how old is he? And then she said like 12 or 13. Yeah, it's strange. And I was like, oh, is he...

Is he Asian? No. You're going to ask him, is he Asian? No. Yeah. He's. He's your manager Asian? Latina. Latina. Okay. That'd be a weird question to ask then. The first one was like, is he Latino? And then Asian maybe next. Anyway. God, you know, it must be so nice to not wear sunscreen. I think whenever I just, it's unbelievable. Yeah. It's my whole life. You look red right now. I know. I was out in the sun.

I spent $600,000 last year on sunscreen. 600,000. Yeah, 600, yeah. 600 grand. SPF 100. What's that there? What is this? Some really cool new commercial that just came out. Oh, it's a brand new commercial out? Yeah. Let's see it. Wait, I feel like I'm going to lose.

Wow. Wow, nine shades lighter. That's what it means. That's awesome. We should get you some of that, Rude. I tried whitening skin. You need 12X, I think. It doesn't hurt. Kid's on fire today.

- You tried what? - I tried it and it doesn't work. - Wait, you've tried that? - 9X? - No, not that, another product. - A whitening cream? - Yeah, I bought a whole set of scrubbing and the whitening soap and then the liquid thing. - This is terrible. - It's so terrible, dude. - You have to be proud of who you are. - You gotta be proud of who you are. - I know, I used to do it in the Philippines because everyone was using it. - Well, look at that guy. - Look at that guy. - White fade. Get yourself a white fade.

We have a white lady here. She doesn't even know how good she has it. Yeah, tell me about it. She just walks in and gets shit. These white broads. Yeah, yeah. They get whatever they want. They get whatever they want. Wow. What? 9X. What do you think of that, though, of people that are brown wanting to be white? I get it in certain... Like, in India, it's a huge thing, right? Yeah. It's a sign of class. Right. And prestige or whatever. But why is that in the mentality of human beings? Well, this is a...

Are we having a real conversation about that? Colonizers. Yeah, it's colonization. Colonizers. Yeah. Wow. Whites. Whites. Not me. Not you. No, you're on a clan. I'm one of the good ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got through. I was at the cookout. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's mind boggling that this is like a promoted... This product probably... I bet you they make a ton of money. People use the shit out of it. What did you use when you were in the Philippines then?

Gluta. I forgot. Gluten-free? What? Something gluta. Gluta. That is how you turn into a white person. You want to be gluten-free? It's like an orange soap. Was it expensive? Gluta orange soap. Put that in.

Glue to orange soap and then you would rub it on your skin every day. Yeah, every day. It worked for other people you saw like, oh, Sabrina. Like my friends. They were so... There it is. That one. The brightening... Lemon. Brightening lemon. That one. Kojic. Yeah. That one? Yeah. How much is it? 50 bucks. Wow. On sugarbaby.co.

- Yeah. - You think that would make me disappear? Suicide by breaking down. - Can we order some? - Yeah, let's order that. - We can order some. - What are we gonna do with that? - I wanna use it on one hand. - You're pretty light, dude. - Yeah. - Oh, you think so? - You're very light. - I'm very light, okay.

For an ethnic, I'm pretty light. You're very light. I was thinking about that the other day. Well, I'm very like kind of uppity in that one. You don't even look yellow. You just look white. Thank you. And that's the best compliment you've ever given. Well, maybe this will help. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Brightening lemon, turmeric, and kojic acid soap. But let's say you, let's suppose, let's say there was a time machine. Yeah. And you went to 16th century China. No, thanks. I know, but this is a scenario. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay.

I know where I want. OK, so you're in 16th century. You have you're confused. Right. And there's peasants. But if you ran into me, be real. Would you think I was a part of like the you know, I mean, the empire, like, you know, mean royal or would you think I was an immigrant? Well, based on like a peasant, I mean, based on your weight, I would think you're of superior. Well, because they do say if you were a little chunky, that means you ate well and you had money.

- That's not an insult. - No, I like it. - Right, like I would be seen as a poor peasant because I'm thin and in shape. They'd go, "This is a poor peasant worker boy." - Oh, I see. - But you're rotund and they'd go, "This guy eats well. He is royalty."

He is clearly of some sort of hierarchy class. Carlos, peasant boy. Yeah. Peasant boy. I'd probably sound, I'd probably go, hello. Oh my God, sexy. I'm eating like bread. No, a plum. A plum. You always have a plum. Hello. Little plum boy. That's what they call you. Would you like to see my concubines? Yeah. My collection of concubines. Yes, I would love to see them. My little plum boy. What about her, if we ran into her?

Yeah, it's royal. Witch. I like that. Clear witch. Yeah, clear witch. What are those photos? Oh, just looking up. Okay, look at that one. Yeah, push it. Zoom it up. This is a rich guy in ancient China. Dude, that's me, dude. There you are. Hat on. Just a little bit more beard hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's genuinely you. That's genuinely me. I'd wear that hat and everything. Oh my God, look right there, the writing. It says Bobby Lee in the writing.

Yeah, yeah. That's beautiful. Wow, that's beautiful. If you could take a time machine, when would you go back to? Oh, that's interesting. And I look like me? You're Bobby Lee right now. Oh, so Bobby Lee time machine. And no one would know you in this past. I mean, you're not you. I would not get in that time machine. There isn't an era that I want to go to. This is the best...

My people have ever had it. - But I think you specifically would thrive- - In what? - In like the late 60s, early 70s. - In America? - The cultural revolution. - I'd be in San Francisco. - That's what I mean. - Yeah, yeah. - I think you'd be like- - I would just stand up. - Well, you'd be a music, no, I see. I think you'd be a musician. You'd be a super popular musician. - All right. - Making like funk and fucking like intergalactic- - You wanna have a good time?

♪ Baby every day ♪ - Yes. - Right? ♪ Everybody peace ♪ - Yes. - Whoa, dude. - I think you would be an intergalactic electronica. ♪ Intergalactic love going down every day ♪ - Here's kind of a view. - That's me, dude. - This is it. - That's me, dude. ♪ Every day ♪

Right? That's me, dude. Johnny Pandora. That's me, dude. That guy gets no pussy, dude. What do you mean? After that show? He goes on Malone at the hotel. He does. Right? You don't think he gets pussy? 100%. I think he gets pussy. 100%. Okay, okay. Look at the hair. That's now, though.

But in the 60s, I don't know how that would play. You would have crushed. Okay, good. Late 60s, early 70s. I'm telling you. Really? The cultural revolution, the hippie revolution in Northern California, you would have been it, man. Yeah, but why can't I just do shows with like Lenny Bruce and do standup? It wouldn't have worked. Why? I just don't know if, I just don't think referentially it would work. My style. Yeah.

Your style's too... Too wild. Too wild. Okay. Like Lenny was like a beat poet. Yeah. You have to be a musician to let your freak flag fly. Oh, here. Let's go. You're in a jazz club. Let's hear some comedic poetry. I don't know. I've never...

Desert. Hey, baby. Come down to the street. Meet my parents, my cat, dog. Liverpool. Sensual. See? It wouldn't work. Just doesn't work. I literally...

I literally didn't know. I don't even know what they sound like. That was it. So I was like trying to commit, but I didn't know what the fuck. I said Liverpool. What else did I say? Come down to the street. All right. Come down to the street. People.

How about you? You do it. Corporate white man killing us with their rules. That's what, that's that. And their shoes. Cut your hair. I don't care. Where do I need to be? Where I am.

- Very good. - See, I would have been in. - That just sounds like the worst. Would you, you and I. - We'd get eaten alive. - We wouldn't even go to that show. - It would have killed us. - We'd be like, "Boring." - Yeah, it would have been bad. - Show us your dick. - You think you'd show your butthole in the set? - Oh, imagine what would happen. - You'd get arrested. - Like with Lenny. - Yeah, you and Lenny. He's like, "What are you in for, man? "Saying your truth?" - No, I showed my butthole to the audience.

What do you think? You would like it or no? Nah. You wouldn't like it? Nah. Wow. He'd be like, hey man, I'm at this hack in prison. I know I'd be a hack. Showing your butthole back then when he's doing his thing? But no Asians ever done that before. Well, I guess that's breaking the mold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe you would be king shit back then. Yeah.

Because they were like, you can't believe this kid's wild, man. He has his butthole. Inside of his butthole. He's Asian. Whoa. Whoa. Sideways? Yeah. Wow. Everybody turns their head when they see your butthole? Yeah. Do you know anything about the beatnik era? No. Yeah. And you don't know anything about the music? She didn't know who Bob Dylan was. Last week we said Bob Dylan. Yeah, you don't know who Bob Dylan was. Blew my mind. It blows my mind. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You know, it's all going to go away. It's all going to go away. Almost.

You're gonna be 53 soon kiddo. What do you want for your birthday speaking of which? Well, remember what I got you? Yeah, I do. I got you a bunch of shit. You got me a watch case and you got me a range finder. Yeah. Very nice. Well, you didn't. I mean your assistant did. I got it for you. Okay. So, you know, I've wrote all that how much that is. No, I have. Okay. So I just want ballpark whatever that is you get me. How much did you spend?

Grand. You spent $1,000? Yeah, so whatever that ballpark, you can do whatever. If it's like $1,000 worth of Kit Kats, get me Kit Kats. But I want all of it. I got to be honest with you. I've already gotten you your gift. It's at $1,000? It's a gift card to Panda Express for $1,000. That's great. You're going to be going a lot. I'm good. I love it. Is that okay? Yeah, because I love their Kung Pao chicken. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what my favorite thing to do, by the way, lately? Should I have a party? For your birthday? A dinner. No, you got to have a dinner. Should I have a dinner? Yeah, we got to have a big dinner.

You know what we should do? - What? - Have a part, well, I was gonna say have a party here, but that's probably a bad idea. - No, I don't think 53 is a milestone. I think when I do my 60, I'll do a big one. - Hmm, buddy, you're not. - You don't think I would make it 60? - No, yes you will. No, 53 is big, man. - Okay. - Yeah. - It's an angel number. 53 is the smallest prime number that does not divide in the order of any sporadic group. - Oh, here's what I wanna talk to you about.

This is what I want you to, you got me in a conundrum. Well, it sounds like it. You got me in one. Go ahead. It's the pressure of doing a special now. Yeah, he texted me, this guy. He texted me and he says, I don't like this pressure. I said, what pressure are you talking about? I said, don't push. Let it go. Let it happen on its own. Well, they came to this club. They didn't come to the club. They came and they're like, we need to sit down with you. What do we need to talk about?

than where it's gonna be, what we expect it to look like, you know what I mean, this and that. It just made it so fucking real. - There is no pressure. - Okay. - It's also not for a holy calendar year. - Okay, that's right. - And you know what? - What? - You're prepared. - I'm ready. - You're ready. - Yeah, yeah. - You deserve it. - I deserve it. - People deserve it. - But here's why I fucked up.

I should have done one a long time. That's right. Do you know why? Because I've held out this long, I feel like there's way more expectation on it. No. Is that not true? No? Probably. No. Oh, thank you, Carlos. You don't think so? Carlos, you are such a fucking... You're a piece of shit. I mean, it's the truth, dude. No! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? This is good. This is good. This is good. No, no, really. Right, people don't believe it's going to happen. Right.

Well, I signed the contract. Sure. But America doesn't- Do you think I can pull out? Am I able- You sure could. How could you not? It's a year away. They haven't paid you a dime. You don't get paid until you shoot it. So if they didn't give you any money, you can always leave. Okay. Which you should not do. I'm going to do it. People are excited for you to do it. I 100% want to do it. What do you think you might call your special? My first special. Perfect. Why can't it be? I just said perfect. Or first time. No, I think what you just said was good. My first special. My first special. Yeah. Yeah.

But when the posters show up, people will be like, oh, this is going to be a big deal. Well, you know what you should call it? My last special. That's funny. That's actually funny. My last special. My last special. Yeah, that's it. My last special. Thank you. You're so good with words. Yeah, I'm smart. You're very smart. What do you guys think of that? I like it. You like it? My last special? Yeah, ask the foreigner and the lunatic. Or dumpling.

What? Dumpling. It says the fucking corg. He looks like a space bird. All right, let's talk. When you also called me, you said you want me to help you buy a new car. And I said, we got to do it. We got to get you a new car. Oh, yeah, yeah. I need a new car. So let's take an audience vote. Let's have the audience write in what they think Bobby should be driving now. Genuinely.

And based on the audience, truly, we'll do a poll. And whatever they pick, you got to buy. Does that sound fun? Well, I like the one I have right now. What do I have right now? You have a Hyundai, a Genesis. A Genesis Hyundai. No, no, no. Just a Genesis. You just need a lot of guy rails. You know, like an armored thing. A tank. What was the car you just had? A Lamborghini? He's not going to buy a fucking Lamborghini. And then you said a Mercedes what? You said you wanted a luxury car. I said you either do BMW or Mercedes if you want a luxury branded car. But then I said...

But you want a sedan or an SUV? I want a small little sports car. Yeah, he said a sports car. So I was trying to pick what's a good little sports car for him. So audience at home, what's a good little, like a Honda S2000? That's fun. Yeah, but I want something that's... How appropriate would it be for you to have a Rice Rocket? Like lower and all that stuff? Just like a little, yeah. Wouldn't that be so cool? That'd be cool. I'd love that. Look up a Honda S2000. When I was young, I thought this was the coolest fucking car on earth. Look at that thing. Oh.

That's cute. That? I love that thing. But I don't like the... What? When it's convertible. Oh, you don't want a drop top? I want a real top. A hard top. Give me a hard top one. You wouldn't want a drop top car? I don't like drop top. You don't want your beautiful hair waiting in the wind? No, no, no. It's going to break. What do you mean it's going to break? I'm going to not know how to do it and it's going to rain and all of a sudden it's going to panic. Oh, right. Well, you'll leave the roof open 100%. That is a fact. That. How fun is that? That's cool.

How much is that? Well, they don't make them anymore. These are old. This is from the early 2000s. Oh, fuck. You can bid on this one for $27,000. But is there a... They don't make new ones of those?

No, I don't think there's any new Honda S2000. I mean, they make something like it, I imagine. I don't know. Now, the Genesis I have, that's not a Hyundai? Hyundai is the parent company. Okay. It's Genesis. So give me a Genesis, a brand new Genesis to see what they look like. Maybe I'll get a Genesis. You can do. Genesis is Hyundai's luxury brand. Okay. Right, there you go. Here in the G70 right now, I think that's what it is. Yeah, I'm not going to mad at it the last time.

No, don't mad at him. Look at that. That's a slick car, man. That's pretty good. Not that one. That's a Hyundai, bud. Just write Genesis, not Hyundai, dude. Get Hyundai out of there. Just Genesis. What's that? I like that. That's what you have. That's the smaller one of what you have. Okay. Go to the website for Genesis. We're going to kill most of this anyway. Yeah, we'll kill it. Hold on. I just want to see which ones might... Look, that's fly. That's fly, dude. That's a G80 and it's electric. Do you want electric? I don't want electric. No, you want gas. Good for you, man. I like gas.

- What's that? - Magma, shmegma, that's the shmegma. The all new Hyundai shmegma. What is under your skin? - Okay, good, I'm gonna get that maybe. - You know where Hyundai is made? - Korea. - Korea. - Yeah. - So we should get you a Korean car. - I'm gonna get a Korean car. - Foolish for you to not. - Yeah. - You know why I drive German cars, right? - Why? - Well. - Exactly. - Yeah.

- 'Cause you're Italian. - Yeah, that's right. - Okay. - Yeah, 'cause I can't afford Italian coffee. - Yeah. - Or Mars or something. - I had bug bites all over my leg. In the Midwest, there's this thing going on. This is so gross. We have cicadas. You know what cicadas are? - I love 'em. - No, you don't know, do you? - Nope. - This is so wild. Only people that know. Cicadas are these things that come out.

Are they like... Look at this. That's what they fucking look like. Oh my God. Alien looking. Wait, this is weird. You've never... You don't know cicadas. Yeah, they are alien. They live underground for like... Oh my God. Look at that thing. Seven years. Seven years they come out every... No, is it more than that? Isn't it? I think it's seven. Weren't there so much cicadas during early summer?

Where? Not here. We don't have cicadas. No, not here. Somewhere. Well, all over the country. But look, two to seven years, they bury themselves underground. Look, tell me this is not fucking... I'm listening to you. This is dinosaur alien shit. I love it. Then every two or seven years, they just come back out and they breed and they de-shell. So these little shells of their body are left all over the place. And they breed and they make this like... Do a cicada noise when they're all together. It's like this...

No, it's like a hum though because there's so many. It's so alien. Do the sound of it. Do YouTube cicada sound. So back home, they're everywhere and then they bury and they leave these little mites and shit in their eggs and then they bite you. Oh shit. Yeah, they're gross. You got Lyme disease? I got Lyme's. I got Orange disease too. Look at my hair. Here, hold on. Listen. It literally sounds like running water all day and you can just see him flying around.

- All day. - Listen how loud that is. - Wow. But you know what's even scarier noise? - Huh? - Have you heard of the trumpets? - Little tiny trumps? - No. - Oh. - Yeah. Eric and Baron. You ever seen them? Eric Baron. - Very good people. Very good people on both sides. - No, so in these, no, I'm telling you, in remote places where there's no city,

No planes, nothing. Uh-huh. The sound of angelic trumpets. What are you talking about? Look it up then. Angelic trumpets in remote areas. Remote areas, yeah. Strange sounds are being heard around the world. This is from six years ago, it says. Now go to the first comment.

It's fake. They're all fake. They're all fake. Wait, who says that? Everybody. All the videos are saying it's fake. What about the Appalachian Mountains? Here we go. Maybe that. What's happening with Appalachian? What's going on with Appalachian? Right now? No, I don't know how to pronounce it, but... Appalachian Mountains. Appalachia? Appalachia. Yeah, we got you the first time. Yeah, we fucking... God.

God, get her some of that white cream. But on TikTok, they're saying like, it's really like the lore on that is really scary. And like, you hear like voices when you hike. Oh, up in the Appalachian mountain range. Yeah. Yeah. They do say that they're very haunted. That I have heard. My dad, that's where my dad's from. Seriously. They do say that the Appalachian mountains are home to a lot of ghostly haunted. Seriously. No. And you know where they think most of those people are?

Civil War deaths. That's insane. They think that they've, the souls have retreated to the mountain range. Can you imagine if they won? Oh, I wouldn't be here. What a dream. So good. You don't really mean that. No. There is this post I saw that Bobby liked. What did you like?

No women. What is this? No women, no alcohol, no drugs, no smoking, no party, no entertainment, no video games, no distractions, no fast food, no hookups, no scrolling, no Netflix, no junk food, no negative people. This place is something different. They removed everything that's not making men grow. When you enter the... So no Bobby Lee? No.

That's everything you. That's all you. First of all, how do you know that I liked it? It says it right there, liked by Bobby Lee. I know, but stop doing that. That's so private. That's so intrusive. Instagram shows what you like. But don't look.

I see what you like all the time. I know, but don't look and don't like. How? If the thing comes up in my. Yeah, but don't bring it up. It's so personal. Yeah, I like that. I want that. I want to be there. Well, let's go. Yeah, yeah. I want a place where I can just kind of detach and just, you know what I mean? I know you're laughing, McCone, because you're not my age. You're young, vibrant. You got your whole life in front of me, but I have baggage. I have things that I'm dealing with, all right? What else?

- This does look great. The Bali time chamber. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Are there other things that I like that you've seen? - What else does he like? - I mean, I...

No, it doesn't show you what you like. Okay. How'd you know that I like that one? Because it popped up on my algorithm and it said liked by Bobby Lee. But why is it in your algorithm? You're in my, I mean, everything, because we're all together. I see shit that you like all the time. Okay. I see shit that he likes all the time and it's fucking scary. It suggests stuff to me and I'm like, no, thank you. The one that was like, build your own glory hole at home.

I was like, why would you need that? Why would you need that? Oh, here's this Asian woman who sells houses for single people. Love this woman. Oh, she's speaking English. What? Oh my, I just got that. Do it again.

House for the single. Oh, house for... I literally thought you were speaking Chinese. Did you? It says it right there. I know. I was just watching her and watching the house, actually. Wow. Can I ask you something about that? I thought about buying that. Like a little single man? Yeah, but where do you put it? I mean, where would you put it? Yeah. Probably in the front yard of your current home.

Just have two houses? It's a tiny little thing. It's like a little... Right, but to get one of those, do you have to buy land and then put that on the land? I would imagine this is in a community, in a tiny home community where they all are, or you have to find a place to put it. Would that be interesting, huh? Do you want to do that? To buy a little land and get three of those things?

But then connect them. Oh, for friends. Yeah, that'd be fun. No. Or you could just live in a regular house. All right, Rudy, if you have nothing else to contribute right now, if you have nothing else that's burning inside of you that you need to get off your chest. Well, we moved houses. I know it makes me so sad. Wait, what do you mean? Like we're not in the current house anymore. Where are you guys? Farther.

Where? Away from me. Away from here. Away from Los Angeles. You moved out of LA. Good. That's fine. Is it a big or a small room? It's about the same, but the drive to here is really far. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. All right. So you moved and it's okay. You like it. I like it a lot. Have you decorated your room? No, I'm too tired. Yeah. That makes perfect sense. Well, take us out. Thank you for being a bad friend. Perfect. Perfect.