Good Times Energy w/ Jack Black
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more.

You know what we should do? We should get the nicest chairs we can find. Like really high end, but only one of them. So then if we have two guests, one of the best guests gets it. I don't even know where you buy chairs. Where do you buy chairs? Where would you buy chairs? Like,

I do some Amazon purchasing of, no, I haven't bought any chairs on Amazon. Yeah, yeah. No, but I have bought like camping chairs on Amazon. And if you go high-end camping chair, you can go like zero grav. I've gotten a zero grav chair on Amazon. What's a zero grav? It makes you feel like it's zero gravity where you feel like you're floating. You're fucking floating, dude. It's just the angle of that Barca lounge. Whoa. I think I need one because I play Stardew Valley so much.

that my back is beginning to hurt.

It's probably a symptom of playing too much video games. Yeah, I think I hunch over like this, and I also kind of dip. Whoa, look at that zero-gravity gaming chair. Whoa, that's what I want. The scorpion? Does it come with the girl or no? Yeah. Not that I would. She would clean and stuff. That's why you game in zero-grav? Yeah. That's great. I just bought off the internet, I bought those little really low-to-the-ground chairs so when we go to, because it's summertime, dude, and it's going to be movies in the cemetery. Have you been? I haven't.

I have been to that place. Is that Hollywood is Forever? Yeah, Forever Cemetery. Great spot. We love going. Every year we go watch a cool movie. We've done like, they did Kill Bill 1 and 2. We've done Beetlejuice. Have you ever done the movie theater in the cemetery? Sinespia? All right, man. Welcome our guest. No, you're going to be rude in front of Jack. I'm not being rude. Because you're trying to be a hot shot cool guy. Sorry, Jack. No, I want to be answering. No, you're trying to be a hot shot cool guy in front of Jack. I get it.

I get it. Assert dominance. I get it, dude. Yes. Yes, I've been. Oh, thanks for adding to the conversation. I mean, it's crazy right now, dude. It's too early for that. Everybody welcome Jack Black to the show. I want to say this about you, Jack Black. Oh, we have so many things to say. Maybe one of the most... Bingo. ...lovable, funny, beautiful people we have on Earth right now. Who? Me? Bobby. Bobby. Yeah, I just wanted to say... I wanted you to recognize what I was saying.

Yeah, you know, may I say stuff? Yeah, please. I think you're one of the most beautiful, funny, fun-loving. Can't do the same thing. You have to mix it up. My own thing? Yeah, do your own thing. Dynamic. Yep. Versatile. Oh, yeah. Yeah, creative. Did you say that already? No, but it's all kind of wrapped in. Oddly nimble.

You are. You are oddly nimble. You're talking about me? Yeah, you're dancing. I remember you do dancing. I do move around. Yeah, I get. Yeah, I am oddly nimble. That's a good that's a good description. I think of my nimbleness. It's odd. You built a mini you built a mini ramp in your backyard, right? Don't you have a mini? I did. That's so cool. Have you ever seen that?

- I've seen mini ramps, yeah, 'cause I watch X Games and stuff. - Of him skating. - Oh no, no, no, you skate? - I do, I'm not a real ramp skater. I use it more of a mode of transportation.

I all through my teen years, I was skating all. Oh, you mean for real? Yeah. Uh, that is no longer there. We took it down cause, uh, there were too many, we got, there's a lot of beefing and, uh, wait, what's going on? Oh, there was just a couple injuries and I was like, enough of this crazy wacky thing. It's not right. Um,

I do enjoy it, but I also am not good at it. Let's be honest. Well, you can drop down. I think that's the hardest thing, dropping down. I cannot drop down. Can you drop up? Here's what I do. I start in the middle and I go back and forth until I fall down. Can we just say it's dropping in? You know this, right? Drop in. Correct. Yeah, it's not drop down. Sorry.

Excuse me, Nigel Houston. Well, here's what's funny about you. You do Horigomi here, fucking Tom. This guy used to claim that he skated. Remember that? Remember that whole fucking lie that he perpetuated? Tony Hawk taught me how to ollie. It's online. Yeah. Wait a second. Can you ollie? I can now because Tony taught me it's online. Yes, I can. It's online. That's one step before. And I get an inch up. Look at me. Look at my ponytail.

- I wanna watch this right now. - Yeah, please. - Yeah, yeah, let's watch that right now. Okay, so anyway, but you know how to go back and forth, like the thing. - I can go back and forth and I can do a couple kind of spinaroos,

But I cannot even ollie, dude. We'll get you there. I can't kickflip. I did a whole video of me yelling at people to do a kickflip. And it was a lot of fun to yell at people and watch them do kickflips. But I felt like a hypocrite because I cannot kickflip. I can't even ollie. I know, but you can't kickflip without knowing how to fucking ollie.

You gotta walk before you can run. Exactly, dude. So yeah, if afterwards, if you... Do you have a couple decks here? You didn't bring your board, did you? No, I don't really have... I see a board, but it doesn't have any wheels on it. Yeah, yeah. I got rid of all my boards, yeah. I used to use them for art, but no longer. Yeah, that skateboard, that was given us...

What a fan did that as a gift. We've got some... If you look around the room, actually, all this is fan art. Everything has been given to us from... Oh, nice. It looks like there's some AI art back there. That one... That's a real... Oh, that one? Yeah, the one... No, that's my brother who lives in India. No. Okay. Let me just say something. I am very gullible. I believe everything that is told to me. I never go, fuck you, but...

You're right. AI, you got it. I did. That was AI. You got it, man. It's Andrew Space Prince from India. Yeah. I don't want to be offended, Jack, but may I say something? I want to be myself. Yeah. I want to be real with you. Do you mind if Bobby's real with you? Go straight at me. I want to go straight at you. I appreciate you.

Uh-huh. Uh-oh. Here it comes. There's no comment, man! Right? Yeah, you've said that before. I appreciate you. I mean, and I don't want you to feel weird. Fan, big fan. Throw that out there. But I think you've helped me sexually. I'll tell you why. Oh, all right. This is all good so far. It's great. I was ready for the butt. No, no, no. I'm grateful for it. And? I get really emotional about it. But I think that, like...

I mean, I know I'm littler than you, smaller, right? But I feel like we're in the same, you know what I mean, range of like body types almost. Yes. Yeah. Let me finish. On a spectrum. On a spectrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His is more evolved, I'd say. I'm rocking about 250 right now. Yeah. I've been stuck here for years. Wow.

Where are you at? Where are you at? I'm at 180. One? You're in the one? Yeah. You're not even in the same universe as me, bro. Yeah, yeah. But women have got, like, I've hooked up with girls and they go, I like that Jack Black look. Oh, man. You know what I mean? And in my mind, I'm like, I always get on my hands and knees. And I go, thank you so much, Jack Black. I mean, I'm not praying to you. You are, though. Yeah, I am. And I go, thank you for, like, he's paving the world.

so I can get some nooky nook. You know what I mean? So I appreciate it. That's all I'm saying. You paved the road to pussy town. That's basically what you've done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So thank you so much for that. That might be the highest compliment I've ever received. I don't know if you know this, but Jack Black is a subcategory on Pornhub if you search Jack Black. No. Oh, yeah. Really? There's a crew of guys that look like Jack Black on there. I am not going to immediately search that as soon as this interview is over. Ha, ha, ha.

I might Google I might do that at Pornhub If somebody compares your body to Jack Black What would mine be compared What's mine Oh fuck you I know what you're doing It's gross What is it Oh you want to say Tom Hardy Is it really I guess yeah Yeah yeah yeah Tom Hardy Yeah Tom Hardy I guess it is Yeah yeah yeah I mean you You are I mean as a comic For a comic I think you are You're not Matt Rife

No, no one. You're not Matt Rive or Jeff Dye. No, that's true. But you're like two below that? Maybe three. Yeah, but still 15 above me. You know what I mean? So that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, you're pretty hot. Women have said that. No. It's hot. Your clothes is hot. Yeah. Hot tempered is really what it is. Yeah, yeah. Uppity and hot tempered. But I will say, Jack, getting back to reality, thank you for everything that you've done. Wow.

In the world of comedy, and you bring joy in a level that I think, I've never once seen you and gone, nah, I see you and I go, oh yeah, that guy's fucking great. Bro, I'll tell you the first time I saw you, dude. Yeah? And it wasn't a huge part, right? But I remember going, oh, that guy's good, right? A movie called... School of Rock. No, DMW.

I don't think I'm in that. Yeah, you're in that one. Are you sure? It's called Dead Man Walking. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're in W. He hates acronyms. Yeah, I love acronyms, dude. You got to say them all out. Yeah, yeah. Dead Man Walking. Dude, you play his brother. Remember, he's about to get MGK. That's what happened earlier. Like-

Yeah, we had MGK in here a couple days ago, and it was a funny story, and I was like, MGK? He's like, Machine Gun Kelly. Oh, if you would have said that, I would have known. But it was a serious scene in the movie, right, where, like, your brother's dying, right? He's on death row. Yeah. Jack, right? Sean Penn. Sean Penn's your brother, right? Yeah, he's the dead man walking. And then you guys are in, like, I remember distinctly, you guys are in sort of a waiting room. I think you're wearing a suit. I don't know. Were you ever wearing a suit?

- Yeah, it was like a Sears. It was a cheap suit. - Yeah, yeah. - We, yeah, a low income family. - Yeah. - And I was one of his little brothers. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - There were three of us.

I was so freaked out because I love Sean Penn ever since I saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He's my favorite actor. So good. And weirdly, that was kind of the only comedy thing he did, the very first movie. And then he went hard into like drama. Yeah, but but that's Fast Times. No one. I mean, I know it's a specific character. You know, it seems more sketchy, like a sketch, like a sketch character almost. But dude,

Because he's such a good actor, it just makes it so much better because it's so believable. He never looked like that again, which I thought was really wild. He transformed. That stoner surfer thing never was reimagined by him, which I thought was kind of wild. After that, you never saw him look like that ever again. The donut around his belly button when he walks in, remember that? Remember?

Remember Fast Times? I don't remember a donut in his belly button. Yeah, I think he walked into the room with a donut in his belly button. As Spicoli? As Spicoli. Am I not right or no? I don't think so. I don't think so. Right there. Or Bagel. Bagel, yeah. Oh.

I was tucked into it. - But I'm sure that's a choice. - Mr. Hand, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. Well, no one had captured that kind of stoner before him on film that I'm aware of. And it was just such a brilliant, hilarious performance. But anyway, so I had this little part as his little brother and it was just a surreal experience. And I got to watch him do his thing.

up close and personal and I was there on the day that he shot the scene with Susan Sarandon. In the jail. In the jail. It's the night before he's going to get executed and he's just having this cathartic like

just explosive tears and it's a confession, he confesses to her. - It's the redemption part of it. - Yeah. - And then obviously you weren't shooting that day. - No. - You knew he was shooting that scene that day? - Yeah. - So were they weird that you were coming or no?

Um, no, I knew the director, the director who, who also gave me my first part in showbiz, Tim Robbins was, uh, the director, also the director of a theater company called the Actors Gang. And so I was tight with him. So he let me kind of, you know, scenes. Wow. I wanted to watch stuff. Was he now, let me, was he approachable Sean Penn back then or no? He was approachable, but he was super method. So he was kind of in character as this

kind of gnarly dude, drug doing madman who partied hard. And I did hang with him, but I have to admit, I was a little scared of him. In the way that you might be scared of a wild animal where it's a little unpredictable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One time you're just talking and there's a funny story about John Malkovich or something. And then the next minute, there's some kind of crazy freeform poetry coming out of it.

And then it's like, wait, are you going to punch me in the face? Wait, what's happening over there? Wow, wow, wow. Is there a blowjob happening? Hey, where am I? Do you get intimidated still or no? Like, sometimes I'm like...

I get a little nervous. Yeah, I get anxious. You get anxious? I get anxious. And you know when they say never meet your heroes? I think never meet your heroes, not because they're going to do something weird, but I act weird around them. I don't do well. If I have an option to meet them, I usually will say pass. I'd rather just enjoy their work from afar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, you don't want them to be a dick. Then it'll forever change how you feel about them.

No? I don't know. I mean... I tell you my Thierry Henry story, right? No. You know who Thierry Henry is? Soccer player? Yeah. He's my favorite soccer player, Jack. Oh, really? Even better than Pele? The way you say Pele, maybe not, dude. But it's like, Thierry Henry is a French soccer player for my favorite team. What's my favorite team, everybody? Arsenal. Arsenal FC. Okay. Legend. I was shooting The Dictator. It's Sasha's movie. I had two lines.

We only have two lines. But anyway. There are no small parts. Thank you, Jack. No, he does a lot of small parts, yeah. Two-line Lee. I know, honestly, yeah, yeah. In the business, he's called two-line Lee. Look what he does with them, though. Everybody loves him. I don't know. He makes a meal. I make a meal. So anyway, I'm in the elevator. I can't believe I've never told this story. No. Oh, my God. All right, so I'm at the Trump Soho Hotel back there.

You have a residency there, right? I'm a resident. Yeah. Anyway. That's what it's called. It's called the Trump Hotel. They've got a Lee floor. Yeah. We've got a Lee floor. Yeah, there's a library. 33 for Lee. Okay. So it's not... Okay, so... First of all, there's definitely not a library there. Go on. No, there was...

Okay, anyway, I go in the elevator. The door's open. And you go, so can I just say, because he's French and he played for Arsenal, it's England. It's like kind of running into Gandalf or Voldemort. You know what I mean? You never think you're going to fucking run into them. Yeah. Right? It's not like LA where like, oh, there's Tom Cruise. I mean, he, you know, or whatever. You know what I mean? You never think. So when he walked in, in my mind, I'm like,

Gandalf just walked, you know what I mean? And then, like, also, I'm, like, his biggest fan. And I fucking went... I shut down! I... Like, I was like... I didn't know what to say. And then he got off on his floor. And I wanted to say things, and I couldn't. It was the first time where I was fucking...

Starstruck! So you never got to say hello? I never said anything to the other guy! But it was better that way. Because if I fucking said something and he was a dick, oh my God, it would have ruined it. What would you have said anyway? Let me be that guy. What's his name? Thierry Henry. Thierry Henry. I am Thierry Henry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pardon me, I'm going to the elevator now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so let the music play in the elevator. I'm not gonna go right away. - Hello? - Are you talking to me? - Can you turn the volume down? I can't take the volume down. - Bonjour. - I'm trying to turn, sorry, I'm trying to turn down the... - Oh, fucking shot! Anyway! - We set the volume on the elevator music. This elevator has a volume knob.

This is crazy. Yeah. And Terry, dude, I'm a huge Arsenal fan. And I'm a huge Arsenal fan. And, dude, I can't believe. Thank you. Can I take a photo with you? I'm sorry. There is no time. It is weird to talk to people in the day there. So goodbye. Au revoir. Au revoir.

It doesn't matter. Dude, no matter what you do in an elevator, as soon as you start talking to a stranger in an elevator, you're off on the wrong foot because they feel trapped. They're stuck with it. They don't know who you are. You could be a...

- A dangerous person? - Right, right, right, right. - Elevator conversations are so uncomfortable. - So that's why maybe I didn't say anything. - Here's the best thing to say. I don't wanna be that guy, but let me be that guy for a minute. - Every time, they say that every time. - A guy walked up to me on the phone in Scotland on FaceTime. I was at a hotel on the phone with my wife.

A guy's on FaceTime and he just jams his phone in front of my face because he's on with a friend of his. And I took everything inside of me not to just take his phone and throw it as far as I could because it was crazy rude. He was just like shoved it in my face. Now I think my generation of like,

Don't say anything. I'm just going to leave him alone. Now people don't give a shit at all. They'll shove a phone right in your face. They'll record you. It's crazy now. There's no rules. Yeah. No rules. There's no rules, but there's also no way to win because if you throw the phone, you're an asshole. If you take the phone and play along and talk to the stranger on the thing for the stranger-

then you're being a foolish person because now you're getting stuck in a weird situation. I always end up doing it. I was like, okay, yeah, I'll talk to the person. But if I'm late for a thing or I'm with someone that's a friend or a family...

I will kind of keep it short and... - And just go, "Hey man, yeah, yeah, yeah." It just was weird. It was the weirdest. He like put it on my face. - I can't imagine you. I mean, your face must change colors. - Yeah, I don't like that. - He is the pivot. How do you stick and move so that it takes the least amount of time? And that way, I think it's best to go high impact.

Give me that fucking phone. What's up, you fucking asshole? Love you. Bye. Give them the experience and then move. Write that down. High impact. That's why I'm going to try that style.

Luke, can I try high impact? I was the opposite. He put it in my face. I go, come on, man. And I walked away. What are you doing? Can I try high impact? Yeah. I want to practice. I think you're a little high impact anyway. Right now? Yeah. No, always. Okay. Do it. Go for it. Well, give me the phone. Put the phone in my face. Hey, man, we talked to my buddy. I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, I told you he was Asian. Here's the problem with what you did, Andrew. For me, if I do what you did, and you're like, no, pass. Thank you, but no thank you. And I walk away, it stays with me. I disappointed that person. It'll fucking stick with me for days. Sometimes weeks, I'll be like,

Why was I such an asshole to that one person? All I had to do was fucking. Yeah. So I will usually err on the side of give him something. Give him a little. Give him a little something. If it's appropriate, I always do. But this was like drunk, rude, shove a phone in my face. I was like, come on, dude. But you guys don't know what it's like being little, though. Because then they can take more advantage. No, what they do is. They pick you up. Last night, I was with a young lady. In her 30. She's 30 years old.

And why were you shooting guns just then? - I was becoming more American. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, I love Deadwood, and that's why I was doing that. - Is that what she calls your penis? Go ahead.

No, but we have Blue Chew. Yeah, we do. So anyway, last night, eating dinner at Melrose Ramen. It's great. They close at 3 in the morning. Wow. It's great. It's on Melrose. Party zone. So it's a good place after stand-up. If you're hungry, go with it. Anyway. After last call, they know what they're doing. They know exactly what they're doing. Thank you, Jack. So I'm sitting there, and a guy comes up from behind me and puts me in a headlock. What?

He goes, I know this guy, the internet or whatever. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And he kind of does like a noogie noogie thing, right? Fucking guy. And because I'm little, they think that they can do it, which they can. No, they can't. And I don't want anybody- But they do, but they do. Nobody ever touch my best friend ever again. That's enough. No more headlocking. It's not nice. Or after a show, if I'm in the South-

people will pick me up. I know, I've seen it. Hey, my little fucking guy right here, man. Hello Kitty, man. Come here. Hey! You know what I mean? They'll pick me up like I'm a little fucking statue or whatever. They Simba him. They go, ah, Simba, yeah.

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My little guy. You know what I mean? I fucking hate it, man.

- Yeah. - Anyway. - You know that I get some of that too. They don't lift me up, they'd get a hernia. But I know that feeling of familiarity and part of it is our fault 'cause we got a similar good times energy. We send that out to the universe. That's why we have some of our successes because that comes through in what we do. And that's a blessing and a curse. - Good times energy. - Yeah. You don't have good times energy.

No. You have bad times in energy sometimes. Bad times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Very bad times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grim almost. Dark. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But why can't you be more silly like Jack and I? Because we're good times people. It's not in my nature. It's not? There's yin and yang in the universe. Ah. You're yang. I'm yin. No, we're more yin. You're yang. No, I'm yin. You're yang. Is yang white or black?

I don't know, look it up. Which one's good and which one's yang? Hey, I wanna know what the color is. We're overpowering the dark side here. I'm messing with the balance of power of your yin and yang right now. Oh yeah, you are. Yang is white. Yeah. So I'm yang. Yeah, we're yang. We're yang. Oh yeah. No, you guys are more full moon. Okay, full moon. When yin is the strongest. Okay. You ever been a yang chow? Yeah.

Is that on Melrose? Is that Chinese restaurant? Yeah, in Chinatown. It's so good. Here in LA. Slippery shrimp. Yeah. Get the slippery shrimp? Slippery shrimp? Yeah. It's not a good name because it's not slippery. It's kind of crunchy and sweet. Is it spicy? A little bit. There it is. Slippery shrimp. I love slippery shrimp. It's so yummy. I love my sauce. What's your bad boy meal? What's your like, oh, I can't wait to go get naughty and overeat this? I mean, look.

A cheeseburger is the best sandwich in the world, and that is my bad boy meal with some fries. You got a spot? Yeah, what's your favorite Smashburger right now? You know what? I'm going to come out and say it. I'm not into Smashburgers.

They're smashed. So the question, this is the eternal question. I can't believe we still have to ask this question. Where's the beef? It's been smashed out of it. It's mostly char. It's mostly fried char, and the beef is in there, but it's smashed. I like a big, fat, juicy burger. Yes. Well, you're a Fuddruckers guy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It closed, Jack. Or actually, this is not the fattest burger there is, but my favorite burger. It's obviously the apple pan.

My favorite. Oh, I've been to Apple Pan. Apple Pan's great. I used to live next door to there. It's on Pico, right? Is it Pico? Westwood and Pico. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been there, done that. I agree. But may I have an argument, please? You got a rebuttal. I got to do the rebuttal, okay? We talking fries well done, Jack? Of course. And you get a slice of pie a la mode afterwards?

- I do if I'm feeling nasty. - I do every time. - Dude, you know what the real weird thing is? If you go a hickory cheeseburger and the tuna sandwich, but you split that in half with a friend. - Oh my God. - So you're insensible. - This is hot. - Whoa, dude, I didn't even know you could do that. - And then I like to take them extra well done fries and get a little bit of scoop of tuna and ketchup

- Oh, I didn't even know that they had that. - Have you ever thought about doing a Jack Black's restaurant? - I should do a restaurant. I did think about it for a minute.

At the peak of, like, Kung Fu Panda and Nacho Libre, I was like, I could do a fusion restaurant. Kung Fu Nachos. Nacho Panda. Dude, Nacho... Then I thought about it. I was like, wait, do I really want those flavors together, the sweet and sour taco? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Maybe. Nacho Panda. I mean, fucking...

Danny Trejo does it. Okay, what is that? Is that Danny Trejo? That's my Danny Trejo impression. Eh, fool. You know? But it's on brand for Danny Trejo. He's Mexican, so he can pull off a Mexican restaurant and do it well. He also has a Chinese restaurant, though, too, to be fair. No, he does not. I'm very gullible. No, he doesn't. Can I do my fucking counter-argument? God. Nah, we're over it. Yeah.

No, no, no, do it. Yeah, thank you so much, Jack. All right, so I'll tell you why Smashburger is number one, okay? Yeah. You want a thick fucking piece of meat in there, right? What happens? It bleeds into the fucking bun, and now you got this bloody bun, right, that you have to fucking chew. It's like, it's silk. It's silky. It's muddy. Interesting. All right? Yeah. But a Smashburger doesn't have a lot of juices that come out. Right. Right? It's also more compact. It's better to hold. It's like you.

Yeah. Where's your favorite? Well, let me tell you something right now, Jack. I'm glad you asked. Right now, I go to HiHo.

Hi-ho. Have you heard of it? It sounds like maybe there's some fusion in there. Is there some Korean flavor something? No, no, no. Okay. Yeah. Why do they call it hi-ho? That was the guy's name. Oh, okay. No, it is because I'll tell you why. Because it's the owner of Sugarfish. Yeah. Maybe his name is just ho. And you say hi-ho. Hi-ho. Oh, maybe, maybe. So I go there. He's the owner of Sugarfish. Yeah. Yeah, same guy. There's got to be some fusion in their Japanese burger. Yeah, maybe. Those are fish fries.

Yeah, the umami's definitely in it. And let me say something else, okay? Then I also go to heavy-handed now. You go to heavy-handed? Dude, I'm going straight to hi-ho. You got to go there, dude. It's pretty good.

It's so good. I like all that lettuce and stuff in there. Yeah. It's so good, dude. And so, you know, next time when you eat this, then we'll have the discussion, you know what I mean? But I think that without you eating this, Jack, you don't even know what you're talking about. Yes, please. He knows what he's talking about. And also, Andrew, can I say this last thing about HiHo? I have nothing to do with the fucking company. Maybe it's a Snow White and the Seven Dwarves reference, though.

- Hi ho. - Hi ho. - Hi ho. - It's off to Burger Go. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, go there. And also, can I say something? This is the first restaurant where the photo looks like the thing. - Ah, yeah. - Can I say another thing though? When I do go, I'll probably walk there and back to walk off all the extra calories.

How many steps to walk off a hi-ho? A lot. A lot. How many calories in a hi-ho burger? I actually want to find out. At least 12,000 steps. Really? I never look at calories. We know you don't. That's a big issue. I will say this, though. Yeah. Some of the best burgers I've ever had at Mexican restaurants.

- Hamburguesa. - Hamburguesa! - They got the flavor that a lot of Mexican cooks, they put the seasonings in there that taste extra good. - Hamburguesa. - Hamburguesa. There's a place called Yucca's, little taco stand. But guess what? - What? - They got a great cheeseburger in there. - No! At Yucca's. - My favorite burger in LA is only because it's nostalgic for me, but there's a place on the west side where

Venice meets the water called, um, Hanano. Do you know about Hanano? You, uh, Oh, I didn't know if you said that earlier, if he said that, but Hanano, um, is, uh,

An old cafe right on the water almost. And Jim Morrison used to play there. He used to live around the corner. It's got wood chips all over the floor still. Big deal. One of those old school bars. Oh, my God. You don't like the doors? Big deal. What? Jim Morrison used to play there? Yeah. So Morrison used to live around the corner from there in Venice. And I guess he would walk there. Look and see if you can get the inside of that place. It's awesome. It's still got wood chips on the ground like the old bars used to. Yeah, but when you go to a hot dog stand and you see a photo of Barack Obama eating the hot dog, it doesn't do anything for me. That's all. Let's just move on. That's it.

That's not a good thing. I would think it's probably a good hot dog. Probably, probably, probably. He's not going to mess around with a substandard hot dog. Wait, wait. Stay on that photo. Stay on that photo real quick, all right? Diversity. Already, I like the hamburger because look at that guy. Look at that guy. He loves it. He loves it. Yeah, yeah. So on the other side of the bar is where the bands still play. They still have music there at night. See there where the pool table is. Go to that fifth picture down or whatever. You can see there's a pool table. So bands play in that corner there, and...

It's like an old surf, but the best part is, the reason I like this is, it's always been a cheap, affordable burger. We used to live on the west side, and there is no kitchen. They cook the burger right next to the taps. So there's a flat-top grill next to the taps.

So that's where you get your burger from. Right there. There it is. Right when you walk in. Wow. He's slinging them right out front. It's the best. And this is back when it was before Jim Morrison was in the doors. He would go in there and just like do open mic night? No, no, no. There was nights when he was with the doors. He would go play. The doors played that hamburger? No. Jim would play by himself there. Would go play. You can go ask him too. They'll talk about it. Look, there's an original picture of Anano from back in the day. How does he play by himself? He just sings. He would just sing and play guitar. Yeah. Oh, okay.

That's what they said. He would show up there and just sing. Now, whether that's local lore, I don't care. It's local lore. They don't have any evidence? They don't have photographic evidence? No, there's pictures of Jim at the bar. But I mean, I don't know if that's true, but I like it.

Even if it's not, I don't give a shit. I like if he hung out there even I was like, that's kind of fucking rad. And he was already a rock star. You're saying he would also do that. Famous. Yeah. He didn't need to perform for free cheeseburgers. I'm sure he was. If we're being honest, I'm sure he was probably fucked up out of his mind. Yeah. Going there just to like rail one out and play. And then.

ironically enough or coincidentally when I moved from the west side to West Hollywood I lived next door to Jim Morrison's last known residence on Norton Avenue in West Hollywood I like the doors

I did this just to find out. I really did. I did this to find out if you like the doors. There's lots of people that don't like the doors. I don't know what it is, but they do rub people the wrong way. I'm on the camp that the doors rule. They fucking rock. I love the doors. Also, Phil Manzarek, is that the one?

the piano yep close enough close what is it manzeric oh yeah phil manzeric okay yeah yeah yeah i don't ray manzer ray that was the phil that was yeah ray manzeric right because he did the bass lines as well on the keyboards right yeah you were thinking of like phil collins combo who are you thinking i don't know i got nervous phil manzeric yeah yeah yeah he does there's no bass player he gets the bass on his keyboards amazing so cool so cool and the thing about the doors too

Jim Morrison had the best voice, best screaming. He could sing better than anyone of his generation, I would say. You probably are one of the best scream singers, too. You're very good. Thank you. You know that. I'm no Jim Morrison, but I can get up there. When did you discover this love of music and performing that you had? Beyond the acting stuff, the music thing, was that your first love?

I loved getting up on a stage and getting attention and ham and cheese and doing theatrics when I was a little kid. Loved putting on a show from as far back as I can remember. Music, I liked it, like listening to it, but I didn't really get into singing until later, until like high school when I got into the musical theater because those were the good opportunities to get up on stage. And I was singing...

in a little show called Pippin. - Oh, Pippin! - You ever hear about Pippin? 1970s musical. And I remember auditioning to get into Pippin and singing and I had to really like scrape the pan is what they call it. When you get up to the top of your voice and you kind of got a, yeah! Get up there and like there's a little bit of distortion in your vocal pipes.

And I remember there was a girl who was auditioning right after me, and the way she looked at me when I scraped the pan, no one had ever looked at me like that before. And I was like, "I think I like this music." - Oh, she looked at you in a ooh-la-la. - It was a different, yes, there was a thing. - I love ooh-la-la.

Don't you love ooh la la? Everybody likes ooh la la. Dude, that's one of my favorite vibes. You're Mr. Ooh la la. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that wasn't the only reason. I do love music and I love doing it, but there was something about that audition that changed things. But you realized that you had the thing. That I had, maybe I had a little something. Maybe I had something I could work with. It's surprising you never did stand up. Yeah, no stand up for me. Probably better than it. What? He's

He's better than us. I know he's better than us, but I'm just saying. It's a low rent art. It's a low rent art. It's a low rent art. You know what it is? It's writing. And I do like to improvise. I've done a lot of improv classes and some improv in some of the sketches I've done. But the best improvisers are really good writers. And those stand-up comedians, you've got to be a real writer. And I don't really think of myself that way.

- I do. - I do too. - I think you would-- - I mean, you never thought about trying it? - I have thought about it 'cause I've been around it a lot. When me and Kyle were doing Tenacious D, we would go and play these clubs and all these brilliant standups would go up there, but it takes a kind of courage. And I always liked having that security blanket of being a part of a team. And if it went sideways, I could always say it was his fault. And having the guitars and the music was also, it was our,

thing that set us apart from the other comedy acts, but also maybe secretly a little bit of a crutch. It's like, oh, we got the music here. I don't know. We all have a crutch, though. We all have our crutches. Yeah, we all do. I do the same things. Sometimes the things that you think, these are like little devices that I've created to save a set.

When I was, I just did a show with Bert at, not Savannah, Georgia. I forgot where we were. I don't remember. I know, because you weren't there. You were in the South. I was in the South. You called me. Right. And so Big Jay, I told you I bombed, right? Yeah. So Big Jay Oakerson, and it's about 10,000 people in the audience. Yeah. Big Jay Oakerson has the set of the night.

destruction. And also in the South, and that's his people. What does that even mean? He's from Baltimore. He speaks their language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's kind of like a filthy white. Can I say filthy white? You know what I mean? He's not clean white. He's not Joe Mulaney. Yeah, he's a filthy white. He's a filthy white, right? And I don't think he'd be offended if I said that. I'm a filthy yellow. He's a great white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a great white. Killing it, and I'm literally, I turn to Leanne, Bert's wife, and I go...

I'm gonna struggle. And she goes, no, you're fine, sweetie, love you. It's all about love, these audiences. I go, I'm gonna struggle. And I hear my name come up. And I go up there, and dude, I struggle. Oh, shit. And then I started doing, I go, you know, I have a bag of tricks. Bag of tricks. Right, so this is one of my, I don't want to reveal it, but I'm gonna do it. Do it. One of my bag of tricks is I'll do three minutes.

And if somebody sits down, like when they went to the bathroom, I'll go, fuck, where were you? And they're like, I went to the bathroom. I go, I gotta start over. So I'll leave the stage, I'll run out, and then restart my set doing the same jokes. And that usually kills. It did worse than the original J-Joke. They were like,

We see through it. That's almost as they said that. We see through your little antics, your little tricks. I did it all. What could you have done?

Nothing! I bombed. What do you do when you're in a situation when you guys aren't being well-received? No, they're always well-received. No, there have been a couple times, but especially if you're going and playing festivals where there's 100,000 people there that really came to see Metallica or whoever, you got to win some people over. And what I do is I... The mantra is...

don't forget to pretend to have a good time. - Why? - Because if you just stay in that, just keep on like pretending like you're loving it and enjoying it, eventually you will start to and then they'll, that's the hope and the dream. And then they'll pick up on that energy and they'll start to enjoy it too. Because if you're suffering and you're, what did you say, struggling? - Struggling, yeah.

It's like, yeah, there's blood in the water. There's blood in the water. They can sense it. They're like an animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can see your fear. Yeah. I tell people when they're doing the Tonight Show, I go... I'm not going to name the name. Can I just whisper it? Yeah, do that. Back in the day, I think before I did stand-up, I saw...

Who we love. Yeah, he's our homie. Do the Tonight Show, and he didn't do well. Even as a non-stand-up at the time, I went, oh shit, this guy's a legend. He's not doing well. Live TV's so hard. Right, so what I'm, so what I, tell you, I can do this. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, yeah, it's a crazy one. Displate! Y'all, y'all, when I was in high school in the 80s,

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they can sweeten it you know what i mean just pretend you're killing smile you know what i mean if you're eating and you know we know that at clubs if you're bombing you know what i mean just kind of give us the same things yeah i i shouldn't even said any of that right because it's just like you already said it and i know now i feel good now i look like a fool you do not i was just all i wasn't listening at all because i was thinking the next thing i was gonna say because the truth is no matter what like your your approach is if you have a technique of what to do

Mantras don't really work because you go, "Okay, don't forget the thing." "To always do the thing." The thing is always gonna be different every show. - Yeah. - Not the same. But what I've noticed is like, we'll have a great show and then we'll have a bad show. And after the bad show,

I usually have a good one the next one because I'll usually be like, you know what? I was trying too hard. It's my number one problem is trying too hard. And I go, this next time, I'm not going to try too hard. I'm going to kind of act. This sounds horrible. I'm going to kind of phone it in a little bit. Yeah. If you phone it, you throw it away. You don't care as much. That's when the magic happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have another couple of questions for you. It's about acting. Real quick. How do you do it? When you're in a scene and you're in the background, not in the background, but there's a wide shot, and you're supposed to have a conversation with somebody. Do you do what I do? I'm sure there's a better technique, but you say watermelon a thousand times. Is that something that you do, or do you just kind of improvise? I always go watermelon.

Yeah. What do you say? Cheese and potatoes. That's the cheese and potatoes. Cheese and potatoes. I mean, it is some of the hardest shit when you're not supposed to be pulling focus, but you don't want to be a...

a strange creature that's not human back there. So yeah, how do you act in the background? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - There should be a class on it. - You're right. - What do I do with my hands? - And then let me ask you another question. When you're tongue tied, you know what I mean? You have a big thing, chunky thing you have to say. - Yeah. - And you're tongue tied. Does this work? 'Cause this works for me. - Yeah. - Red leather, yellow leather.

Yeah. Well, that's one of the many things you can... I have a bunch of them. I know how to do it too, guys. A big black bug bit a big brown bear. Geese cackle, cattle low, crows caw, cocks crow. Eight great geese in a green field grazing. I can go on for hours. Keep doing it. I want to see them all. Six thick thistle sticks. Lucy likes light literature.

Amos Ames, the amiable aeronaut, aided in an aerial enterprise at the age of 88. Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine? Fine white wine vinegar with veal. Did you memorize that or are you just improvising that? I memorized it way back in my 20s. Whoa, dude. Theater student. Whoa. Do you know how to do any of those? No, I'm not a good actor. Yeah, yeah. Let me try to improvise some maybe. Can I challenge myself?

Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine? That's good. Ricardo Valenzuela is off the hockey stick. No, no, that's not what I mean. Ricardo Valenzuela? Yeah, yeah. La Valencia Hotel is incognito with John Smith. Is this coming through you? Yeah, it's coming through me. I'm like channeling it. Montgomery Ward is within each other's hemisphere creating lots of dozens of laughs.

Oh, man. Yeah. What do you think? You're just letting it spill now. I can tell that's what's coming off the top of your dome. Dude, I'm like channeling it, dude. I don't need to memorize it. Especially because Montgomery Ward hasn't been around in like 30 years. Department stores that are out of commission, that's amazing. Is that what it is? Montgomery Ward? I never even heard of it before. I just channeled it. It used to be a department store. I channeled it, dude.

Dude, that's amazing. I've never been to San Diego. That's something from San Diego youth there popping up. What do you mean, bud? That was the mall. At the mall. Oh, yeah. Montgomery Ward at the mall. Yeah, Montgomery Ward. Yeah, yeah. That was an actual place, huh? Mm-hmm. Pretty cool, dude. Dude, the channeling was incredible. Thank you so much. Channel, baby. What? Channel, baby. Let it rip. Let it rip. All right. Channel. Buggle Beach where it doesn't create nothing but eyesores. Whoa. Whoa.

What do you think? Channel again. Channel more. Channel. Alistair Montgomery and the Skyline creating algorithms within each other's foot. Montgomery came out again, though. As soon as there's a repeater, I think it kills the... I fucked it. I fucked it. You're right. You're right. I fucked it. I fucked it. Yeah, yeah. I can't channel anymore. It's dead. All right. Let me try. You can't go double Montgomery. And channel. My father never loved me.

Is that the same thing? It's not the same thing. Keep going. Keep going. More channeling. Okay. Why didn't he love me? Why did you never come to any of my baseball games? I just wanted to see your face.

Good, that was good. Wow. I don't think you should do that on set though. No? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be weird. Someone's like, man, you can't get your lines right. I'm like, one second. Yeah. Daddy! Wait, is this an acting exercise? This helps you be a better actor if you channel good right before you go out to act? I think so. That's right, guy. It's kind of cool. It's like you're flushing out the clogs in your emotions. You got to shake out all the bullshit. Can I try? Yeah, go ahead. All right.

Fuck a shakalaka ding dong. Why do I live in a world of dreams? The space is infinite. If you go to the end, you'll see the devil. No, you won't. He doesn't exist. That's what he wants you to think. Cock! Wow, dude. You know the channel too?

It just got very Very good dude I don't know what Just happened Whoa Whoa Did I say words? Yeah that was incredible It definitely didn't end with cock I'll tell you that That was fucking incredible Wow Do you ever I feel like you don't What are you doing? I was trying to see my channel Yeah can you channel Yeah yeah Are you channeling?

Yeah, yeah. Machine tire wind dropping turbulence. Waves crashing. Penis pain. There it is. Dude, so good. That's what I'm talking about. Dude, you got it out of your system. That feels good. Carlos, do you want to give it a try? Go ahead, Carlos. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Can I know?

Shamalala ding dong algorithm. Wait, stop, stop, stop. Time out. Time out. Wait, is there a wrong way to channel? You think that was... I said algorithm already. Yeah. Oh, he's not allowed to channel anything you channel. Yeah, you can't channel my shit.

I felt like Shamalama Ding Dong. I kind of covered that, too. Yeah, you covered that, too. So can you do your own channeling? Channel hack. I think we just learned. Channel hack, dude. You're not real, dude. That's really true. You don't have the ability, dude. I didn't know Jack did Shamalama Ding Dong. It's also, it wasn't Shamalama Ding Dong. There was a ding-

and a dong, but I think the shamalama was all you. I don't think this is fair for us to be telling him he can't channel the way... If part of his channeling is stealing our channels, then that's a scandal. I know, but it just doesn't feel creative to me. It feels like a channel thief. Yeah, you're a channel thief. But to be...

- Let's be fair, the channeling is for you to do alone in your trailer right before Martin Scorsese calls you to the set. - Wow. - This is something that Leo Decap will do before his Oscar winning performance in, once upon a time, Hollywood 2. - Oh yeah. - Yeah.

I love that movie. So you know what? You're right. You know, I made fun of you just now. I know. You're not a channel. You're a basic guy. No, just let's be real. You're a basic guy with basic. I'm being nice. Be nice. You're basic. You know what I mean? You like pumpkin spies like the white girls. You know what I mean? You have your routine during the day. You know what it is? He's got more balance in his life again. How many days sober now? What are we talking? We're at like nine months around there. No, more like six.

That's how I know he's not. There's something awry. Oh, no. It's because I'm not going to meetings. I'm not keeping track. You go from nine months to six months? That's a three-month gap there. It's a big gap. It's a summer. I was trying to remember what month it was right now.

- Because you usually, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be an argument, and congratulations by the way, but my point being is that because I count days, you know exactly what day it is. - You know how many days it's been. - Yeah, yeah, when you're going nine months, I mean six months, it's a little weird. - No, because I'm not happy about it. I'm not thrilled about being sober right now. - Right. - Like I'm not counting days. - Well then go to a fucking meeting.

That is definitely the solution is to go to a meeting. Yeah. To get into that right now. Okay, let's move on then. Anyway, you look great though. Congratulations. Get Carlos around. Hey, you're alive. That's all that matters, right guys? Thank you. That is true. So can we talk about Borderlands or no? Yeah, let's talk about it. Oh yes. The reason I'm here. Yes.

Yeah. Just kidding. I've always wanted to be on your show. The movie that you guys did, we have a three-way connection, right? You did the film together. Correct. One of my closest friends is a producer on the movie. So when he told me he was... She told me...

He was going to get the role or they were going to whatever, you know, and I auditioned. I auditioned. And it was a cool I was like I knew before he knew it was kind of a sweet little nugget of life. And I was like, oh, this is amazing. And then it's opened his world to all these great people. And it's just been a I saw the trailer looks fucking amazing. I saw it before they put it out, which I thought was really cool.

But it looks rad. What's a bummer about it, though, is because when I found out you're in it, but then I realized you're not going to be there. Oh, so you were out in Bulgaria going, where the fuck is Jack Black? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I realized, oh, he's clapped right. This is bullshit. But we could still kind of work together. Yeah, we did one table read. Yep. I remember that day. A Zoom table. Yeah, but you crushed it. And can I tell you what happened to me at that table? Can I tell you what happened? Yeah.

All right, so, Jack, I want to be vulnerable and I want to be, you know, because I know sometimes people think I'm cool. And I got my shit together. Like, oh, yeah, he's got all, you know. There you are, though. That's incredible. Look, zoom in. There he is. Yeah, the smallest picture. But thanks for putting it on. Dude, made the poster. Yeah, I made the poster. That's fucking huge. It's amazing. Fucking amazing. So here's. Who's the guy in the middle?

Who's that guy in the Medet Center? Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart! That's Kevin Hart. That's right. With a beret. Like you've never seen him before. Special forces beret. Edgar Ramirez. So anyway, I get the movie and Jack, I'll be honest with you. I've never been in a movie with that

this kind of cast before. - Caliber of stars. - Yeah, it's just stacked, right? - Yeah. - Let me be vulnerable. - Yeah. - I'm nervous as fuck, let's be honest. - Yeah. - I don't know if you're remembering me. I'm real nervous. - Yeah. - You thought you might lose the job over the Zoom performance? - Exactly, exactly. - Not a chance. - So this is what happens, okay? - Yeah. - Chance, by the way. - Yeah, yeah. - So what happens is Eli's assistant or something calls me and goes, "Hey, dude, there's not gonna be a lot of people "to table read at the Zoom."

I go, okay. He goes, I'm going to text you a list of characters that you're going to be playing as well as the character that you're doing. So I go, okay. And it's like 20 names. Right? So now I'm panicking like, oh.

I could get fired from so many different angles now. - Yeah. - Right? So for days, bro, highlight even the, you know what I mean? The sergeant or whatever, right? And I'm trying to memorize everything and like their point of view or whatever, whatever, right? - Different sounding voices. - Different sounding voices, right? I go, I have to kill here. - Yeah. - This is my shot, right?

so when we get on zoom like i'm there five minutes earlier and i'm looking at all the boxes there's so many boxes right and in my mind i was like i don't know if i'm playing 20 parts i'm just you know i mean it seems like there's right and i'm glad i did this two minutes before we're about to start i text the guy again i go are you sure about these 20 names it goes oh no i forgot to tell you you're only doing two

Oh my God. So if I hadn't called, I would have been interrupting somebody. Yeah. You would have been interrupting 18 people. I know. Thank God.

I mean, would that have been bad? Oh, yeah. I think that would have been bad. I'll tell you what was bad, though, is that they made you rehearse 20 different roles, and really it was only two that you had to rehearse. Yeah, it was mean. Because you put in some hours, it sounds like, and some stress, lost a little sleep. They owe me money, is what you're saying? Okay, yeah. Is that what they're saying? What are we talking about here, dude? Get a lawyer? Yeah. Yeah, it was stressful, but, you know, it's fine. I'll tell you what. When I found out you were in it, I was like,

That's rad and they're lucky. We are lucky to have you on that movie because you're fucking hilarious. Oh, God bless you. You can relax about the worrying about getting canned. They're thanking their lucky stars because you're killing it. Yeah, yeah. It was also just a very positive experience. I'll tell you that right now. You know what ass currency that people don't really realize? If you like kill it in like a social media post,

That has just as much, if not more, like, power in the industry than, like, having a zippy cameo in a major motion picture. If you fucking crush it like you do on the regular, on social media, on, like, podcasts or on, like, interviews and other people's shit...

That stuff counts a lot. - Yeah, but Jack, I'm glad-- - Lot of eyeballs, lot of clicks. - Jack, I appreciate that. And I'll tell you the difference between me and Andrew and the other podcasters, right? The other podcasters, they understand that, but him and I, for some reason, and I know you're like this,

some of our dreams are still tied up with television and movies. Yeah. Because we're a little older, you know what I mean? We were just... Same. Right. So it's like, I think we got to... I want to talk about your... I want to talk about me. I have to sort of kind of, you know what I mean, kind of unlearn that, you know what I mean, and find that this is the dream. Yeah, but we like the other stuff. No, we love the other stuff, but I'm just saying. But you are right. I think that it's great.

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People get cast off of that just as much as anything else nowadays. I know, but you did it the traditional way, right? I mean, you got a manager, agent, you took acting classes. You auditioned for commercials. I mean, you kind of moved your way up. I don't know, right? Yep. And there was...

like a clear pathway of a way to do it. And I think you and I were the same way, right? Or no? - Well, yeah, for a little bit. And then the industry kind of changed. - Yeah, it changed. - Wait, do you guys have a headshot that on the back has four different activities? - 100%. Yeah. - See, we're old school like that. - Soccer. - The kids today, they don't have those headshots with the things. Yeah, the skateboarding.

Yeah. Ken Ali, not Ken Cliff. Languages. I don't know any other language but English, but I would put like five things on there. I had eating cereal was one of the pictures. I can eat cereal commercial. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. When we used to have to bring in those fucking headshots was so...

It was so demeaning and they'd like throw it in a pile and you were like, that cost me $4. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They'd throw it away, you know, you'd get stacks of them in your fucking car. I was around when your agent would call you and go, oh, you have an audition tomorrow. Okay, cool. All right, come pick up the sides. And so I would go to an alleyway, you know what I mean? And they would have like a filing thing. Yeah. And I would have to look up L, Lee, and pull out my, like I'd have to drive there.

You know what I mean? And there would be sometimes a line of other actors there. Once I learned that there were acronyms for agencies, I would make up fake acronyms of an agency. I would just type in three letters. It would be like CBF or whatever. CBF Creative Agency or whatever. They would never check. Why would they ever fucking even check? It was just like the guy who was my manager was out of his studio apartment next to the Magic Castle. Right.

That's a hack. Yeah. That works. I mean, it got me enough around where I got to sneak into shit. But that's what you used to have to staple your headshot to your resume or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Another thing people would go is like... Fucking hated that. Hey, are you in SAG?

I'm building up the points or whatever, right? That was a whole thing. If you were in SAG or not. It was a catch-22. You couldn't get a job unless you were in SAG, but you can't get SAG unless you get a job. Right. And then there was this mysterious thing called Taft-Hartley. I don't know what the fuck that is. Am I even saying it right? Yeah, Taft, yeah. Well, they merged. AFTRA and SAG merged.

But Taft-Hartley was how you got into the back door. I said it right, right? Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. Inside baseball talk. But the truth is, if the director really wants you, they'll find a way to get you into SAG to do the movie. It just costs a little more money. It's a little more hassle. That happened. Mark Pellington, the guy that directed the first thing I ever did when the studio I worked at as a PA-

I got this role to deliver Luke Wilson a pizza. And then they overshot. And the PA, I did 13 hours in a trailer, just like sitting, waiting, sitting, waiting, like excited, excited. The PA came and was like, cut in your scene. Good night. And I was like, oh my God, fucking killed me, dude. Yeah. And then Mark Pellington was smoking a cigarette. By the way, that director, Mark Pellington famously directed the,

If I'm not wrong, Jeremy, Pearl Jam's Jeremy. I think that was... Great song. I think that's what he did. Look that up. But he was smoking a cigarette or something or hanging out by the trailers. And he was like, oh, I heard they fucking cut your shit. I was like, yeah. And then I wanted to be like, didn't you cut my shit? Yeah, they. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was they. And then he was like, we'll get you back, dude. Lie, lie. No, he was true. No. They brought me back as a hospital orderly.

And they gave me a line. I was like, "Sir, you can't be out of your room." Wait, that's you? No, that's- Man of his word. Jeremy, yeah. That's Jeremy, yeah. No, but he was cool, man. That was a fucking really rad thing. But that was one... You need those little tiny moments sometimes to give you a little bit more hope. 'Cause after that, I thought, "Fuck, man." I was so excited to have one line to maybe get in the union, to be able to get another job.

That's a huge thing. That dude did a big favor. Talking about that and about Borderlands, sorry to bring it back, but it made me think of a story about how I met Kevin Hart years before we did Jumanji together. And it was just sort of a general meeting. He was kind of new and up and coming. And he was going around. We were at the same agency. And he was going around meeting all the different people at the agency to just talk about maybe developing something.

And we had a good meeting, just hitting it off, talking about things that we liked. And then years later, I got that call to do Jumanji. And it was Kevin. I know it was Kevin that got me into that room. Because even though I had a lot of success before Jumanji, I was in a little bit of a dip. And I was like, God, I got to get another gig.

And I remember thinking that Kevin Hart, he's a standup guy. - He's a great guy. - He said we were gonna work together and he went out of his way, I believe, and made it happen, which is cool. - You even think you've been in dips?

Yeah, that's the thing. No matter how good it goes, this industry is a fucking Leviathan. And you never know when it's going to end. And you see it all the time. People get ejected off the roller coaster. And it's such a fun job and it's such a fun life. The name of the game is staying in it. And you can feel it. Because if you're in a wave of like, oh, I'm getting lots of gigs. This is going fucking great. It's gangbusters.

And you can almost go like, fuck, I can't wait for a break. When is the Google calendar going to be empty so I can just chill? But then as soon as it gets empty and you don't have anything on the horizon, there's a panic. Oh, yeah. Ice cold water in the veins. Like, oh, fuck, I got to get something.

And yeah, you get those moments. I think everybody has. Well, I'm glad to hear that. We're glad to hear that you get them. Yeah, because I get them all the time. That's how we feel all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where I'm like, oh my God, I'm dead. Yeah. They don't like me. I guess it's the Ken Jeong Randall Park show now. Okay. All right. I guess the Ronnie Chang, you know what I mean? You'll never be Ken Jeong. I'm out, I'm out. You're out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're out. Yeah. No, you're right. Also, can I say this? I'm fine. Okay.

I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. You should be. Yeah, I'm so happy. Yeah, life is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Borderlands comes out August what? August 9th. 9th. Borderlands is going to come out August 9th. You must go see this movie. Yeah. If you're in a theater and you do see the trailer pop up, it does look really good. You're in two scenes. You're in two scenes. We've got a scene together where I'm Claptrap the robot in the bar, and you're in the bar. Oh, that's right.

I remember now. I turn around. Now, I was all pre-recorded, so maybe you heard my voice when you were shooting it, or maybe you didn't. I did hear it. Maybe someone was reading Claptrap for me. I did hear it. But you were in Bulgaria kicking. Was it Bulgaria? It wasn't, but I love when you say it. You know?

Budapest. Budapest. Budapest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also want to talk about how just something about Eli Roth. Because you worked with him with the clock. Yep. Yeah, right? And you worked with Kate before too on that, right? But I just, what, I mean, you know, I've done some things and I just love that guy as a,

director because he makes you feel comfortable man yeah really fun really fun to work with yeah yeah and uh also good stories yeah he's got great stories yeah yeah yeah and i'll say this one other thing about the movie it's got vibes that are kind of like did you ever see um total recall schwarzenegger yeah it's got that kind of vibes where it's a it's another planet and it's and it's kind of like a rough and ready it's like a hard neighborhood

and it's kinda like a desert, and it's squash buckling, and it's death-defying and kick-ass. A lot of good explosions. - So you saw the movie? - Oh yeah. Don't be jealous. It's not just because I got a sneak-a-peek. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I'm sorry, yeah. - He's famous.

I know, but he saw the movie. No, dude. But no, I saw it, but it still had the numbers on the bottom and the thing and the watermark, so I'd be in trouble. But you saw it from beginning to end. I would have forwarded it to you, but I couldn't. It had the watermark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do know he recorded it. He's been selling it.

Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah, he's been bootlegged. Well, I'm glad you said that because I don't know what the movie's going to be like. It's going to be great. We're all going to go together. You're going to come? We're going to have a family outing. I think it's going to be amazing. It's got that kind of Road Warrior-like, post-apocalyptic vibes to it. I'm really kind of excited about it. Do you have anything else you want to plug that's coming up? I did a little movie called Mothman.

Minecraft. But that's not going to be telling next year. You did it based on the video game. I only do video games, dude. I just basically do whatever my sons tell me.

Now, Minecraft, how is that going to be a movie? Exactly. Oh, we have to figure it out. Well, it's like not obvious. It's like that can't be a movie, can it? Yeah. Can it? Yes, it can. It can. Wow. What's that going to be like? Yeah. That's harder to describe. I'm not even going to try. Oh, really? But it's a combo of live action. It's me. It's not a cartoon. Yeah. And animated, like computer animated, like the world of Minecraft, like you see it when you play it. Wow.

So there's humans. What's another movie like that? Roger Rabbit? Tron? Yeah, closer to Tron. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's pretty rad, and it's pretty funny. I bet it is. My old pal Jared Hess, who directed Nacho Libre, is that the helm? Oh, wow. Napoleon Dynamite, too, right? Napoleon Dynamite, if you need him. And Jason Momoa, it's me and him and some great kids.

And yeah, look for that next year, probably around April 1st-ish. Wow, dude. Awesome. That's fucking awesome. Danielle Brooks, amazing, and The Color Purple recently. She kicks ass as well. Also, great singer, that Danielle Brooks. What? She's in this too? Yeah. Jesus. And there might be a tiny little bit of music, but I don't know what I'm allowed to say. It's one of those where they don't want you to talk to them.

You wrote some of the soundtrack? I mean, there might be some. I'm saying there might be some. I'm not going to get in trouble for anything. We'll wait and see. Minecraft! I've never played the game because I do love secret place games. I am building rocks and shit and playing fucking Minecraft. That might not be a song. It's going to be PG. I don't know. Should I play it?

Minecraft? Yeah. Because I like building worlds. I like building, but it's like so blocky. I don't even know how it works. Dude, it's really fun, but it is like learning a language. You got to spend some time learning the world. I did it because my boys were deep into Minecraft for a long time, and I wanted just to speak other language. So I learned how to do it, and then I got into it. It's like architectural. Wow. You will be building buildings and digging tunnels and making...

making progress but do you do you raid other is there like combat in it or what uh there is fighting at night time if you get caught outside outside of a shelter you will have to scrape and scrap to survive and there will be zombies there will be exploding thingies i can't remember what they're called creepers this is true that fighting should only be at night by the way that makes the most sense yeah daytime is for chilling out what do you nighttime is for what do you mean

Why don't fight? There shouldn't be daytime battles in these games. It should be only at night. It's cooler, it's sexier, it's darker. I guess you're right. Yeah. Night fight, dude. Night fight. Remember Silent Hill? Yes. You guys all remember or no? Yeah, the video game. Silent Hill. When it first came out. Oh. It was so fucking scary.

Because it was, you know, the first game where it was dark, like foggy. And there was just creatures that would come run out at you and it was scary and jumpy. And you would have like a, I forgot what you had, but you had an apparatus. But there was an elementary school there. And you were not supposed to go over there, remember? I know, I know. My parole officer said, no, but there's little kids, like demons and stuff. Oh, yeah. I found that to be so fucking scary. You know what I mean? There he is.

Anyway. Looks kind of like Michael Cera. Yeah, yeah. A little bit like Michael Cera. He could play in the movie Silent Hill. Yeah. So, Jack, I want to say, number one, what a pleasure to have you on. Truly. It was, because we didn't know how it was going to go. Me neither. I was scared. No, but it was probably the best time I've had. Ah.

I mean, it was so good. Since MCG was in here last week. Everything's different, but this was like, it felt like you were already a part of the ecosystem of podcasting. It felt like, you know, having Shane Gillis or somebody on, right? It just felt natural. And you know how to add information and you're silly. And it was just a...

Blast, and if you ever need to plug anything, you're always welcome back. Hey, how about this? If it ever comes a time when all three of us have empty Google calendars, we get together and we fucking come up with some shit. I like this a lot. You know what I mean? That's what happens. You circle the wagons. I'm going to circle it too. We'll circle the wagons over a cheeseburger, which would be really nice. That'd be really nice. It'd be fun, even if the Google calendars are not empty. I want to be in a Western.

- I hear you. - And I wanna be opium den guy. - Wait a second. - Well. - Is there an opium den in the Western?

What do you mean? In Deadwood and all these towns? Oh, right. Right. Remember in fucking Once Upon a Time in America with Robert De Niro? Oh, wow. Do you remember that one? You're a cinephile. It's like a Sergio Leone movie. Not Sergio Leone. It was... Yeah. Sergio Leone. Was it Sergio Leone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a prequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was that opening, right this way, Mr. Joe. You know what I mean? I've always wanted to play the opium den guy, you know what I mean? Yeah. You can do it. What? You can do it. I think I can do it. What's going on in that tent?

Oh, we have an opium straight from China, my friend. Really got opium from China? No. Me and my friend here traveled a long way. It's weed. It's Mexican weed. Smoking weed. Is this fucking brick weed? You gave me brick weed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my boy didn't come all the way here for brick weed. Anyway, Jack, thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being here. Anytime. Thank you so much. Give Jack Black a round of applause, guys. Awesome. That was so fun. Loved it.