Family Feud
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Find the detail that moves you with immersive dining experiences from Sapphire Reserve. Chase, make more of what's yours. Learn more at chase.com slash sapphire reserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. You believe, you seriously believe in voodoo dolls? I believe in New Orleans black magic. And that's not being racial. Yeah, it sounds like it is. That's what it's called. Black magic. I'm not being racial. Okay. Let's see.

He doesn't know what he's doing. There's nothing there. Oh. You got to find a... This went right in your vagina? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, how about this? Ow! Did it work? Yeah. Okay, I'll stop. You two are bad... Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends.

This is such a nice gift that we got from a fan. Where was this in? Niagara or was it in... It was in Niagara. And then they go... Then they said, we didn't have enough time to do yours to you. And I saw your heartbreak a little bit. No, you know I don't care about that stuff. I thought that was very nice that they gave you something. I don't need to have reciprocation for gifts. When you get something, I don't need to get anything. I don't mind. Mostly because I don't get any. But it's also because... Oh, you get some. Pretty rarely, but I don't... I think...

You get gifts because you ask for them often. I don't ask for gifts. That's fucking ridiculous, dude. You definitely fucking do. I deserve them. See? But that's different than asking. Why do you think you deserve gifts from fans? Well, I'm a conduit of... You having a stroke? No, I just... I'm really kind of going, why do I need them? Yeah. I think it's a good... It's one of my love languages.

Your love language is gift receiving? Yeah. One of my love languages is gift receiving. Usually it's gift giving. Mine's touch and gift receiving. Mine is... And blowjobs. That's my love language. My love languages are isolation. Yeah.

And alcohol. Yeah. How many love languages are there? Five. Five. This should be 20. Because none of the five really embody my love language. Well, that's kind of like, this is like genders now. If there's going to be 50 genders, then there can be 50 love languages. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, that's you, quality time, and physical touch. I guess pee in my face is...

It's physical touch. Yeah. So it doesn't body that. Well, are they touching you though? Yeah. I guess. A part of inside, something inside is touching my body. So I guess that is physical touch. Yeah, it's physical touch. Yeah, yeah. Could you ever do like a Shiza video, you know, in Germany where they poop on each other? Could you ever do that? Like a poop video? With you. You would? With you, Carlos and McCone. Well, let me tell you why I'm out on Carlos. Because Carlos' experience from this past weekend. Oh. He's a bad little naughty boy. We'll talk, get that in a second. Huh? You're out?

I'm out on you for a little while. Oh, no. I think you're a bad little boy. I think you're a gross little dirty scum nugget. You're jealous, dude. I'm not jealous, dude. I wouldn't have done what you did. What you did was bottom of the barrel scum bucket nugget nugget. That is. Yeah, yeah. It was terrible. You know what that is? When you get like a six piece nugget from McDonald's and there's always one that you're like, oh, my God. That's you, dude. I can't eat that. Yeah. What do they do to it? Yeah. What do you do?

What did I do? I did nothing. Right. Nobody even going to McDonald's. You were outside. Wait, wait, wait. First of all, I don't know what you're implying, but I'm trying to be positive today because it is tax week. Oh, okay. So I'm trying to be mindful and very positive. So clearly say you're slammed. And you look ridiculous today. I know. Yeah, yeah. But we won't even address it. Go ahead. What were you saying? Well, I just heard that you had not such a great time at McDonald's.

Yeah, I didn't. I opened up my nugget box and there was no nuggets. And who told you this information? Oh, there's only one rat in this room.

Look, Carlos. We're just having laughs. All right, so this is what happened. Oh, my God. You spread lies. You spread rumors. We'll have to address it. When you came down from the elevator at like 2.30 in the morning and I'm walking up the elevator, you were so happy to see me. Why do you get... You know you've got some like Trumpisms on your expressions where you go... Yeah, I mean, I learned from the past. I know. Yeah, man. Yeah. You have Bidenism. Sleepy. Yeah. So, um...

So I was coming down, you were coming up, and the reason why I smiled at you was as if, like if you, remember that, you know, in Game of Thrones, medieval times, where they're jousting with a horse, right? Yeah.

I was obviously the one that lost. Right? So I'm in the fucking armor. Well, you're off your horse. I'm off the horse. You didn't get on the horse. You barely got on the horse. Right. And I'm like, there's blood. And you have your little pole thing. You're looking down at me. That's what that... I would smile if you were jousting. I see. I was like, you got me this time. Yeah, good game. Good game. Yes. So that's what that smile was about. Right? So what happened was... Give it up, baby. We both met somebody. Yeah.

That night. I get, what town was it? Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls. This was just about midnight is the departure from the show. So I brought a grill up. Gone. I was sulking in the green room.

Well, you were. I just, the show didn't go as well as I wanted. One of the worst shows we've ever done. I don't know. Was that, it was just like something wasn't clicking. Was it me? I feel like it was me. It was certainly not you. Every joke I said, ate it. That's not true. That's actually not true. We can all be genuine about it. There was a guy with one leg. The one legged guy. He took his leg off. That was awesome. And then my mom was, I got a joke. Right? Yeah. So he takes his leg off.

And this is about 5,000 people. Yeah. That's a lot of people. Right. So he takes his leg off and he's kind of hopping around on stage. And I go, I want to save this joke. Yeah. I heard you store it. I heard it go in your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a penny bank. Yeah, yeah. Ka-ting. Ka-ting. And then finally there was like a little gap where I go, do it. My instincts are usually right. They're almost always right. So I look at him and I go, you have a beautiful nub. Silence. Silence.

It was almost as if there was no one there. Right? And when that happens, you smile, but your eyes show all. Yeah, yeah. So I did. It was. I laughed. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. No, you have zingers.

No, no, no. Oh, you're a zing master, dude. But we had to smell the guys. Oh, my God, it was the worst. Dude, for our fans that have one leg or one limb missing and the sleeve, he took off the thing and he goes, it smells pretty bad. And we both said, like, how? I mean, who cares? It can't be that. He's like, trust me, you don't want to. And we smelled it. I genuinely, I almost threw up in the booth. Booth? The boop. Yeah. In his boot. Because it was awful.

Unbelievable. Yeah, it's a little bit of BO. It's like BO, rotten badusi. Rotten badusi for sure. And you know what else it is? What? Like an old dingleberry. Like a dingleberry that's been attached for a long time and it got rehydrated. Like a little bit of water splashed on it. Yeah, you know in Korea...

some of the bathrooms by the way yeah whatever you're gonna say yes yes in Korea some of the bathrooms right are still a hole in the ground right because when my grandparents lived China same thing yeah yeah so I remember I was a kid I don't know if I've ever talked about this have I

When I was a kid, I'd go, how long has this been here? And my grandfather goes, a thousand years. A thousand years of shit. Right, so basically there's a hole in the ground, and you can look down, and there's like a well of shit. Yeah. Right? And I thought, my great, great, great, great grandfather's shit is down there. That's awesome. Yeah. Shit well.

Yeah, the bottom of that layer is what his fucking mouth smells like. Just bad. We huffed it. We passed it around. I meet a young lady. You met a young lady, which was a good high point after the show. And Indian, which I have to only say because. Okay, okay, okay. All right, all right.

I mean, the music was enough. I feel like... Is that racist? I don't think it is. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, no. Okay, all right, all right. I guess it's like a trigger for you. It's a trigger for me. Don't go... Sorry, sorry. When you go... I know. I'm sorry. All right, stop. That hurt, actually. But...

Blang-a-lang-a-lang-a-lang-a-lang-a-lang. Stop. All right, that's enough. I won't do it anymore. Stop, stop. That's enough. Please stop. That's comedy in threes. Yeah, yeah. So you met this young woman. She was very nice and very- And never- Pretty. Hooked up with an Indian woman. I'm shocked. You've never even had like a makeout session with an Indian girl? So, but you've hooked up with almost every other color of the rainbow. Yeah. No, not black. You've never had a black girl. Oh, yeah, I have. Come on, come on. One. Bob. One. Full or half? St. Louis. Full, half? 100%. Yeah. Not- The kind that Robert De Niro would like. Oh, yeah.

You never had Indian, ever? Never. I think it was the one, I've had Persian. I've been hooked up with Persian. Yeah. I've hooked up with Mexico. What's up, bro? What's up, man? I've had South American. Ooh, what? Brazil? Not Brazil. Argentina, my friend. Argentina? Yeah. That's that. Argentina. Argentina. Brazil. No Central Americans, by the way. But she was more like Messi. So she kind of looked like Andres. Yeah.

No messy like her vagina was. Oh, it was very sloppy. Yeah. It was very dirty. Yeah. So, you know, and then she just she gets naked. We make out a little bit. She gets naked. She goes, I don't want to do this. I go, I thought, you know, obviously. Sure. I'm fine. I could just just kind of give you a lap dancey kind of thing. Oh, OK.

Well, since we're here. Yeah. You know, might as well. Whilst in Niagara Falls. Yeah, like in McDonald's, I get the nuggets. You gotta. Right, so it's like. But do you ever really get the nuggets? I don't. That's the point. Right. Were you fully clothed? I was fully clothed. Very weird. Very weird, right? Why didn't you get naked? She's naked, you're clothed? She didn't want me to. She said. Because as she got naked, I was like doing this. And she goes, no, I do not feel comfortable about this. She's butt naked? And so I'm standing there like.

And she's going, yeah, I'll give you a lap dance. I was just going, okay, okay. It's so weird for some one party to get naked and the other one to be like, I don't want you to get naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She does a lap dance very good. Sure. She gets clothed and she goes, bye. And then I walk her down. That's nice though. Yeah, but then he comes up with just really...

Relief? Like the Joker. Right, right, right. This dirty nut scum. Nugget, nugget, nugget. Right, nugget, right. Went. Well, speaking of lap dances. Yeah, he went to a strip club. Right. Went to a private room. Sober. Yeah, fine. And tell the story then, nugget.

I'm this girl. Friend. My girlfriend. Just a bud. Yeah. She messaged me and she was like, oh, you're going to be in Canada. I'll be close to Niagara Falls. I'll make it a work trip. I'll go there. Nice. In parentheses, I'm a stripper. Right. And I went, oh, cool. Her job's everywhere, I guess. Exactly. Yeah. And so she can't get off work during the show. Would you have said, oh, cool. That's so funny. If she was a nuclear engineer. Yeah.

Of course. So I got, I'm a, say it. I'm a nuclear engineer. I'm a nuclear engineer. What are you talking? I'm the girl. Oh, okay. Just go on. No, no, no. Stop. Damn. That's the weirdest improv.

Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, what is this, a David Lynch improv, right? I'm a nuclear engineer. It just never ends. It just never ends. It's like repetition in Meisner Technique. There's an exercise in Meisner Technique. It's an acting style where you repeat the word until you hit the motion so you say it differently. That's funny because you've literally done this a million times to Andrew where you've been the wrong character in the improv scene.

Dude, Nuggie, you're begging for trouble. Dude, it's tough tonight. Buddy. It's a tough day. What are you begging for? Are you looking for a fucking... It's a tough day. I don't think I did anything wrong in Niagara Falls. You did something right. I didn't say you did anything wrong. We're celebrating in your victory. Oh, okay. Dude, you just jousted. You jousted, dude. He's still picking up some of his armor. Be nice. You're right. You don't parade around after the joust and show off. Yeah, you're right. No, you help him up off the ground. Which I did. You know what?

So,

Super residual. Wait. All right, continue. I'm proud of you, dude, is what I'm saying. I'm emotional. Yeah. Go ahead. I like that you said she couldn't get off work like it's a fucking corporate gig. Like she has to go ask for PTO to not dance. Can't you just say I'm not going to dance tonight? Well, she got there like around four, and I think the law is you have to dance for five hours. The law? There's dancer laws, dude. What do you mean? She had to get a permit to dance there. It's Canada.

Well, yeah, for business, but she could also just not dance. Yeah, but she wanted to be in good standings at the club. Got it. The guys that work there seem scary. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. At a strip club? They seem like shady fellows? A lot of Drake's around. Oh. Yeah. So I asked her if there's a private room we can go to at the strip club, and she goes, of course, there's a VIP room. The champagne room, baby. Exactly. And those usually cost a couple hundred bucks, right? At least, right? No, it was 50 for 30 minutes. It's Canada. Yeah, Canada. Jesus, Niagara Falls. But, I mean, it's not like really a private room. There's a curtain.

And on the sides, you can still see. So we go there. I spent $100. We're in there the whole time. So this was a transaction. I didn't give it to her. I gave it to some Asian lady who's like... There's always an Asian lady roaming around collecting cash at strip clubs. Why not? I know. It's great. I don't even know what she does. She was like the pimp of the VIP area. God bless. Yeah, we went in there. We had some laughs and hung out. You guys, so what did you just chuckle about? Meme culture on the internet? Or what did you guys have a laugh about?

She had run into some people that night that were at our show. She was talking about that. Let's get back to brass tacks. Just talking, huh? We did other things. Explain. Please explain. We had sex. Interesting. Bad boy. Very bad. Say the other thing. What? Oh, that she wants to get married now? No. No.

What? What the fuck are you talking about? She wants to get married? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you texted me. It was so bad good, huh? I'm not going to say the other thing. I could tell right now that you're... Oh, wait, the other thing. Yeah. Yeah, tell us the other thing. Oh, my God, the thing I said at breakfast? Yeah. Which is what? That I got a girl pregnant. No. Well, you're adding information that we don't even need right now, dude. You mean I murdered somebody three years ago? Yeah, I don't want to know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You talking about the blood all over the front seat of my car?

That's from high school, man. No, dude. Yeah, dude. What are you? What? What's the other thing? I can't remember the other thing now. Yeah, you do. You didn't wear a condom. Oh, that's so normal. Of course, I wouldn't remember that. Okay. Okay. Bobby's acting like he's like the king of condoms. I am the king of condoms. He is. They call him King of Kong when he comes into the. He walks in and goes, King of condom. King of condom. Yeah. And the people at 7-Eleven are like, here he is. King of condom.

He gets them by the thousand pack. No, I just use gum. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. None of them fit. Bubblicious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Bobby's making reference to the fact that you were with a dancer who I think you told us also plays the game. Monopoly? Monopoly?

Kind of, yeah. Kind of the monopoly of life. Really funny. No, she plays the game of life. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, be careful. I'll tell you what she does. She plays Hungry Hungry Hippos, but the little balls are dicks. Hopping, hopping, hopping, hopping, hopping, hopping. Plungalung.

All right. All right. All right. Wait, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? I woke up in a good side. So did I. Yeah. I woke up. I danced in the shower this morning. Yeah. I was singing today when I woke up. But these guys. Right? I was singing. And then because I'm getting my house done. It's almost done. No. The bedroom's going to take two more weeks. Oh, my God. I know. What is she doing in there? But the living room, she put the furniture in. Oh. Right? And I walked. My living room had nothing. Nothing.

It was like an open house. It was pretty bare. Nothing, right? And to see a rug and curtains and all that stuff. I walked into my living room. Last night I sat there for the first time and just kind of watched stuff. But I was in a good mood. My cats were like... I woke up like... And my cats were like...

It was like we were in and then fuck faces, man. Bringing me down today, dude. Scum nuggets over there. Why? What did I do? What did he do, guys?

You didn't do anything. I'm a good employer. Can I just say something? Yeah. You were mad at me. For what? The next morning. You were acting nice and proud of me today, but the next morning when I saw you, you were pretty upset with me for getting laid. No, he wasn't upset at the fact that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew. That's an insane comment. Pure insanity. You know better. You're right. No, he's not upset that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew. At all. He got upset because he didn't get laid. I don't need to get laid. It was still a good experience. Fancy.

It's almost like you guys before the show talked about fucking with him. It feels like all of you guys had a meeting about how to fuck with him. Doesn't it feel that way? It does feel. I'm being fucked with. I feel like I'm being fucked with. Even with the kid. Yeah. His tone earlier was not good. Not right. Attitude Magood over there. That was... I mean, talk about... Maybe is it something that I can change? I don't think you did anything. I know, but I'm just from my employees...

What is something that I can do to change? Well, this is an opportunity to make a comment. This is HR. So let's hear it. You do owe me $100. Holy shit. Holy shit, dude. I swore to fucking God. When he said that, my eyes started vibrating. I think it's rage. Dude, you're... It's like... It's funny. It's fucking rage. Okay, so you'll get that.

No, I don't want it. Oh, you're going to get it. Oh, you're going to get it, buddy. You want it? You got it. You'll get it. You got it. Yes, Carlos. I'll give you interest. Oh, wow. What's interest worth nowadays? What's interest? I'm not going to give him monetary interest. I'm going to give him something else. Something better. Something better. Yeah, something that. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, no, you're not going to like it.

You know what's funny? Yesterday, I got you and Andrew a present for the end of the tour. So while you're preparing for this, remember that I have a present coming. Do we get it at the end of the tour or we get it right now? No, you get it at the end of the tour, but I had to throw it in there. Is this because you've ordered it and it hasn't come yet or you actually haven't gotten anything but you're thinking about it right now? No, I ordered it and it hasn't come yet. I don't think you ordered it. No, I swear to God I did everything last night. And let me ask you a real question. Did we pay for it? No.

Let me ask you another question. We did, didn't we? No, of course not. I promise, no. Oh, come on. I'm going to see a charge on the company card. I literally promise you I paid for it. Okay. It would have been nice if you would have held that detail and then just gave it to us. It would have been such a big surprise. I know, but I had to throw it in there. Right now, you did? Yeah, that's when I got fired before the end of the tour. Exactly. He's trying to swim his way upstream now. He's so far down, he's trying to get back. And it's not going to work, but it's okay. Let's start off on a better note. We had a great morning.

You and I were singing this morning. I was singing. I was playing with the dog. What song were you singing? Roddy Ricch is my favorite get hyped rapper right now. I fucking love Roddy Ricch. Everything he makes, I'm always like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It gets me in my feels, dude. What is it? I don't know. His voice is perfect.

His rhythms are always, his beats are so good. They're so good. Ugh. I don't know, man. I fuck with Roddy Ricch. Hard. Roddy, get at me. Come say what's up to bad friends. Roddy Ricch on this show would be amazing. Come, come, come, Roddy Ricch.

Anyway. I know. You don't like black music. I love it. I'm going to get rather rich. All music is black music, actually. So you do like black music. You don't like hip-hop. It all stems from blues. Some jazz. It all stems from tribal music. We're really going to go way back. Let's go way back. Let's go way, way back. If you go way back, it's from noise. If you go way, way back. You know what I mean? When we were organisms? Well, no. Yeah, yeah. Amoebas. Is that an amoeba? Can you imagine even black little amoebas? Like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could beatbox when they were like little microorganisms. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Anyway, let's go. So I'm happy for you. Let's move on. You know what I mean? That was a great. But, you know, it's very, very good. Very, very, very good. So what I want to say is, you know, it's the end of the tour. We have a couple more left. We have Tucson and Vegas and that's it. Maybe we'll go back in 2026.

We're going to take some time off. 25, we'll take some time off for the rest of the year. Well, I mean, in the United States, that is. We're going to Australia at the end of the year. Tickets will be coming on sale soon. People keep asking us. Australia, we're coming down. And we're going to Dubai, which is a one-off, one show. So, you know, it's a little sad, but we're going to see each other every week here on the pod. We'll see each other at the club. Nothing's going to change. And we hang out. Yeah, nothing's going to change. Everything's going to be good. No, are you feeling a little anxious about it? You do sound like you're a little sad. I do think it was a little weird because when I said to you the tour is –

almost over you did kind of react where i think you might it's a little bit of a melancholy thing for you well you know um the truth be told it is sad because um when i go on the road alone it's just not as fun it's totally different yeah it's i'm by myself i have some openers um there's more pressure i think yeah because of the fact that it's my thing you know and um it's just fun to like you know when you're on stage especially in the stand-up portions

I know that they're getting a good show. Same. You know, so it's like... And then we go out together. And then the best part is we go eat a great meal. Yeah. So it's been really fun. It saved my life actually last year. You think so? Oh, yeah. Those early dates really saved my life, man. I was in a bad state. So, you know, I just kind of look at it all. You know, life, there's a lot of curveballs right now. There's a lot of things happening. And it's like...

I had said, I think, earlier on that I go, I think 2024 is the best year I've ever had. Wow. But now certain things are happening that are... There's some roadblocks and some trials and tribulations, you know? And I, you know...

But I'm still finding joy in it, you know, because I know everything passes. Nothing is forever. Everything passes. This too shall pass. Yeah. Don't you think? I totally agree. I believe in that whole idea. When I see that video of me as a kid, you know, on my Instagram where I was, you know what I mean, doing stand-up and, you know, at the restaurant working, when I look at that guy, I go, oh, that guy was riddled with all these problems and issues, right?

and with people and circumstances and scenarios and none of those things should have been an issue 'cause I don't even know what they were. - Yeah, but how nice. - But we worried so hard, when you're young, you worry so hard about the things that are going on, like I'm never gonna have this and then none of that came true. And so it's like right now I'm trying to go in five years, I'm gonna look back at now and go,

Oh, why did I worry about that? Yeah. So I'm not, I don't want to worry about it now because as you get older, you know, the end's coming, man. And soon. Did you see his laugh? Yeah. That's crazy, dude. And what is it? The end is near. And right that soon. Judgment cometh and right that soon. You know, Andreas, when I die and I look down, because I will be looking down at my services and my funeral and stuff. Oh, okay.

I think he means because you're in the casket. No, I think he means I'm in hell. I think he means in the casket. No, no. That's what I think. You know what's interesting is you will be looking up from the casket at the people surrounding you crying. Regardless of where I'm at. And I think about me, I'll be cremated.

But I'll be a lump of dust. But I'll want them to save my eyes. So I just want the lump of cremation with two little eyeballs. Dude, that's so good. Is that funny? Maybe your lips too. Yeah, yeah. But it's like. Yeah, eyes, lips, and it's on a bag. Oh my God. It's me doing the Bobby Mom face? Yeah. You know what? Can you do it in a bag? Yeah. What? In a bag? A clear bag with your eyes, your lips, and I'm going to put a hook on it. And for every Christmas, it's going to be an ornament.

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Hey, everybody. We're doing a Bad Friends live show. It's called Scary Times USA. Scary Time USA. And how do you watch it? Go to moment.co slash badfriends. It's Thursday, October 24th at 6 p.m. We're going to have exclusive merch available for it. So Bad Friends Scary Time USA. Hey, dude. America.

Yeah, live stream. October 24th at 6 p.m. PST. We're live streaming it. So join us. Moment.co slash bad friends. We'll also be hosting an interactive VIP after party after the show. And active patron members can join the VIP after party for free. Scary Times USA.

Anyway, so it's sad, the end of the thing. But, you know, there's always a beginning. There's always a new one. One door closes, another one opens. Yeah, yeah. Like, look at this. Special moment for us. This episode will have already come out, but in a few days, we're going to be playing Family Feud. Da!

No, no, no. Don't do that at Family Feud. I promise I won't. Because I will do that on national TV. Okay. We're playing Family Feud. So what happened was I was hanging out with Rachel Bielson and Olivia. Rachel Bielson? And Olivia. From the OC? And they asked me, Rachel goes, do you want to do Family Feud on my family?

And I go, I'd be honored. And then two days later, I get a call that Family Feud wants my family. Right. So I'm like, I said, yes, immediately. Now I can't sleep at night because I want to be a fool. No, I don't know anything. We're going to do great. It's I know it without pressure. But imagine standing there with Steve Harvey, my opponent with the buzzer.

Right. And I just don't know how quick I'm going to be. I've never done it before. I don't know if I'm going to know the fucking answer. There's all these things. So I think that we need to practice today. Oh, let's do a little practice round. Do we have to practice around? Yeah. OK, ready? All right. Here we go. Nate. Sorry, Steve. We have the Lee family and the Santino family here. OK. Steve. Yeah. Sounds like Steve. OK. So name a TV show that you both have guests on. Bobby.

The League. Okay. Andrew? Wait, is this... Then it's just my turn? To see who it goes. Oh, Curb Your Enthusiasm. All right. Andrew. Yeah? He got... What the fuck? Name... Oh, I got it higher. Name a TV show that you both have starred on. Oh, same question. Same category. Oh, um...

We both have to start on. That's what it's saying. We have? Five? Not at the same time. I know, but we have? Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Thank God this isn't in the thing. Whoa, this is hard. All right, how many seconds does he get? Ten? It's yours. Your turn. Go. Oh, it's my turn? Yeah. Oh, it's Aaron. You don't know either. I don't know. So it's back to me? Yeah. We both start in...

You never did The Office, right? Fuck. Yeah, you're done. You didn't do The Office, right? No. Okay, go. All right. What's that show with Esther and Benji Alfalo? You can't ask. That's illegal. You can't ask. Three, two... One together. Together one. Ah!

Alone together. Alone together. I got it. Do you want to see the answers? Yes. So we're out? I got it. Yeah, I mean, you're 40 points. You have 40 points. Okay, I got 40. Let's see. Oh my God, this game. We're going to get fucking trampled. We're fucked. No, it's not going to be about us. I thought you were going to do questions that they would ask on Family Feud. We both did Family Guy. Oh, we did Family Guy. Yeah, what else? You guys were both on Alone together. That was the one. And you guys were both on Alone.

Arrested of your life. Oh, yes. How did we not know that? I don't know. We don't even know us. We're going to be hit. We don't know our own. We're fucked. We work so much. We work so much. All right. So, wow, we did five shows together. Yeah, and that's really bad that we didn't know. We didn't know that. All right, we're fucked. Yeah. We're fucked Saturday. Okay, go. Give me another one. Let's go. Let's go. Name Rudy's favorite food. Bobby? No, it's him. Thank you. Fucking Steve. Jollibee. Okay. Bobby? Fuck, that's that low? Balut.

Okay, Bobby. That's what I was going to say, but I thought that's not real. She actually likes Jollibee the most. I know. I know. I know. All right. No, let your mustache kind of drip off. I think it's funny. So who's next? You're up because you got it higher than me. Pog Pog. Nope. Okay. It's got to be something funny at this point. It's got to be like poop. No, I got it. What? Taco Bell. We're all wrong. All right. So what is it?

So rotten fish. Yeah. I said poop and a bat. Yeah. Who made these answers? She did. Rudy did. They were submitted. Are we giving the points to anyone on this round? I got it. Balloon. Bobby got 35. I got 35. I got 15. Yeah. Name five Taylor Swift songs. Oh, fuck you, dude. A cute little girl. We're an image and a cute little girl.

I actually don't know any of the names of her songs. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think...

Dude, I mean, this is crazy. I don't know any of the names of the songs. I've heard them before. Change, Change, is that one? Oh, yeah, Change, Change. No. Okay. How about... I'm sorry, I put something that, you know, younger people like. Well, dude, fuck. Let's move on, dude. Can't name one? No, we can't. Let's move on.

Okay. Let's just give him the cards. We'll play the real game. We're going to play the real game. Let's do it. We're not doing points now anymore. I'm way ahead. You won the round of knowing bad friends, but now this goes to general. Good. This is what we need. This is how we prepare. All right. Here we go. Let's see this. This is the real life questions. Let's do it. Name something you might find in an ambulance. Andrew. An EMT.

Stethoscope. What? So it's me again? Yep. A fucking person? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, on a fucking stretcher? Mm-hmm. Stretcher. Okay. A paramedic. I said that. I said EMT. I already said that. That's an EMT, yeah? EMT is a paramedic. So wait, so I win that. So what do I do now? You, I mean, I guess. Now I get to guess my second guess. Yes. Okay. Nine points you have.

And one more answer. Okay, so name something inside. Read the question because I'm the next guest. Name something you might find in an ambulance. Heart monitors. Those fucking jumper cables. No. A driver.

So it is oxygen is the number one answer. Where the fuck is this from? Yeah. This is Harvey's. This is Harvey's. In Bangladesh. Yeah. Is this Family Feud Bangladesh? Family Feud, man. Yeah. This does not sound real. Next one. Next one. That doesn't even make sense. Oxygen is everywhere. I know.

What kind of shitty game is this? I know. Okay, name a professional who blows a whistle. Referee. Andrew. Yeah. Oh, my God. Huh? Number two answer. Yeah. Want to try, Bobby? Yeah. Lifeguard. Number three answer. So it's still me. Okay. And I get those points. Okay. That's how the game works. You know that, right? On the show. Yeah, yeah, fine. A dog trainer. That's a great fucking guess. Yep.

Good answer. That's where you go. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. All right, you're up. That was funny. That was great. You just have to play the game. Yeah. Too much pressure. Oh, I know. Oh, victim. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Great. Great answer. That's not on there. They use whistles, though. Yeah, I know. Okay. Yeah. If I said that on Family Feud, would that get in trouble? I don't think we should say. Yeah. Yeah.

Just a wild guess. All right. We can't even say it on our show. Oh, yeah. An assault victim. That sounds better. Someone being assaulted. That's not on it. No, it's still wrong. That's not a professional. All right. Technically. Okay. Read the question one more time, please. Name a professional who blows a whistle. The head drag queen on the floats. No? I know. I know.

A high school coach. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. A coach doesn't have a fucking... You're saying during practice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's four. All right. It's on there, dude. It's bad. Okay, so the first answer is a police or a traffic cop. That's good. Police don't ever have whistles. I've never heard of that before. Maybe New York. Cops don't have whistles. Maybe a traffic... Or a traffic cop. Yeah, but do they even exist anymore? Yeah, anyway. Move on. What's number two?

That's it? That's it. Okay, so we did okay. Let's really focus. Come on. No matter how hard it tries, name an animal a snake could never swallow. A bear. Elephant. Yes. Number one answer. Fuck yeah! I'm sorry. That was too much. You gotta keep going. Giraffe. Lion. Yes. A hippopotamus. Yes. Number five answer. Alligator. Yes.

A horse. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Number two answer. So we got them all. I got one and two. Yeah, well, you guys have four. We are missing one. Oh, we're missing one. Oh, so you're up again. Oh, shit. A dog? No, I think I need a dog.

They can eat a dog. A chihuahua, maybe. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, your dog, your cats, too, could get fucking. A cow was the fifth out of seven. All right. So we got two. We got four. We got four. Together, we got four out of five. Yeah, that's good. All right. You know what? Honestly, this is helping me. No, it is. Yeah, because now I go, maybe I can answer some. Yeah. Yeah. Name something made of feathers. A headdress.

A hat. That would work. A coat. I guess so. What is it? Feather duster. Yeah, that's it. I got one. Bird. He's not made of feather? I couldn't agree with that more. He's definitely made of feathers. That's where it comes from. That's a great answer, Bobby. Oh, that's Steve Harvey. Oh, that was Steve Harvey. Very good. So bad, dude. Made of feathers? A rug?

I got it. Pillow. Ding, ding, ding. Number one. Oh, yeah. Duvet cover. Duvet. Bad mattress, yeah. Blanket. Number five answer. All right. We got it. We're doing good. We're doing good. You know what? I'm very happy you're on my team. You and I are going to do good. We're going to do well. We're going to do well. Here we go. Come on. Give me another name that kids use for father. Andrew. Daddy. Yes. Or dad. Number two answer. And one. Yeah, dad. Daddy. Dad and daddy. Papa. Number three answer. Only number four.

Pa. Yes. Pops. Good. That's totally different. You're the worst Steve Harvey ever. You said paw. He said, yeah, pops. Two different words. Not even spelled close. I said paw. No, you said paw. I said paw. You said paw. I saw it. We can rewind the tape. No, I'm on the scene. I said paw. I know what you said. You said paw. I watched you do it. You went paw.

There was no P at the end. All right. You're right. I know I'm right. You're right. You're right. I cheat a lot. I'm a cheater. Well, this game is on TV. They're going to know. I'm going to do that in front of people. You have to. Yeah, yeah. And I'll defend you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said it. That's what he said. Then you say, you know what you say after that? Steve, he's straight from Korea. Yeah. What do you want? We just got him. P's are hard for them. Yeah. All right. Let's hear it with the next one. Okay. Name something that ends with the word code. Security. Security.

Yes. Number four answer. Pass. Pass code isn't on there? Yeah. Jesus. Go ahead, you're up. Guy code. These are all legitimately good answers. Yeah, they're all great answers. This is the problem with the show sometimes. You'll have good answers and it won't be on there. Bro code. I know that's not on there. Pay code? I don't know.

Code? In code? End code? What is it? Area code? Fuck. Oh, fuck. Zip code? Jesus Christ. Morse code? Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. We lost! Bar code? Let me tell you something. We lost. We lost. We're going to get cooked on Saturday. Just as long as the code thing's not there. Yeah. Yeah, forget the code. That was so good. Because when they said it, I'm like, why? Yeah, of course. It's hard. How do you train your mind to know these things? Well, we have to do it again. Let's go. Let's get that. Let's train our minds to get there. All right. We got to get there.

Kids can wait for Christmas. Say it again? Kids can wait for Christmas. You do know Steve will be hard to understand as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids can't wait for Christmas. He's doing this because Steve is hard to understand. Right. And I mean that. I watch the show every night. You know this, right? Yeah. Every night I watch the show. Yeah. I watch this, then America says. Kids can't. I can't understand. Sometimes he just. Wait, so kids. What's it is? Kids can't. Can't wait for Christmas. What kind of. Oh, that's on him? No. You're now. You're now. You're now.

Present. Present. What can adults wait for? What? It's my turn. You already guessed. Oh, yeah. What can't adults wait for? Yeah. Saturday. The weekend. I got it. What? I got it. The weekend's not on there. I got it. I got it. Friday.

No, it's obviously not a day. Yeah, no. People wait when they're at work. That's what I just said. You said weekend. Yeah, the weekend. People can't wait for the weekend. Okay. Something similar but bigger. Yeah. People can't wait for summer. Adults can't wait for the summer. Vacation. Don't do it. That's not the same. I want to see vacation next. I mean, I read your mind and said, yes, vacation. He knew that is what you were going to say. What? Vacation. You got it. Okay, vacation. What else can adults not wait for? Adults can't wait for what? What?

I know. I got it. The kids to move out of the house. Yeah. No. How is that not on there? That sex cruise they've been wanting to take. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. No. No. Go ahead. Number one is Paycheck.

And then school to start, which you guys can. That's kind of what he said. He's kind of. Bobby said when they get out of the fucking house. And bedtime, which is also kind of the same. And the day after Christmas. God, I hate these questions. I hope these are not. Oh, my God. We're fucked. But if they are, how great. One more. One more. Let's go. Come on. Okay. Name something people buy. Buy the roll. Toilet. Paper. Paper towels. Number two answer. Quarters. Roll of quarters.

Lee family. Bread. By the roll? Yeah, by the roll. Roll of bread. I'm going to do that on the show. Dude. You know I'm going to fight for you. Honestly, dude? Yeah. What you just did there, dude, forever makes us compadres for life, dude. You're my best friend. Dude, you're a liar like me. Hey, Steve, for the roll, roll of bread. Tell me it's not a roll of bread. You've never done a Jewish deli? It's a roll of bread, bud. Yeah. Swiss roll. Swiss miss rolls. What are you buying rolls? Carpet.

Carpet? No. Film? Rugs. Oh, film. That's three. A five? Yep. That was the number three answer. How about... Wow. Should we cancel? Yeah. We should cancel. So tape and stamps.

No, okay. Tape, yes, but stamps can fuck off. That's not right, Steve. Who buys stamps? I don't buy stamps. I haven't mailed anything ever. All right, let's go. The last one of that, and then we'll do the backdoor. By the way, name a pizza. Hold on. You buy stamps in sheets now. They are sheets of stamps. Yeah. So fuck off. Go to the next one, because I heard the question. Here we go. Give me another one. Name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky. Go ahead. Pineapple. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Number three answer. Number three.

Olives. Black olives. My turn? Anchovies. Number one answer. Okay, two. Two. Oh, it's my turn? Yeah. Green pepper. It's delicious. Fuck. Bacon? I got it. Jalapeno. I know. I like all these, by the way. Me too. I know what it is. How about... I think I know what it is. How about...

Go ahead. Me? Yeah. Mushroom. Yes. Two points. Two points. So now we have mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple. And then the other two are ham and sardines. I've never seen a sardine on a pizza. In New Hampshire? Where? Do one more because I'm mad. Yeah, I'm mad. I'm mad. Let's do one more. I'm mad at you. We have to. Tell me something people think needs saving. Money. Number one answer. People need saving.

Soul. Soul saving people, but that's the same thing. I get that. I don't know that that's going to be on there. If you said people, I don't think they're going to go. It's soul. Yeah, but because it's... My turn. It's worded so bad. Animals. Yes. Okay, we have three. One more. That's only out of four? Yep. I know. What?

Go ahead. Oh, it's my turn anyway. Environment. The world. Yeah, the world. Yes. Okay. Finally, here's the other problem. What's the problem? We have three other people with us besides you and me. Oh, no. Yeah, we're going to have to sneak them answers. No, I think Esther knows. I don't know. I really... You're going to call her now? I have to call her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because let's see. I'm going to call Gene. I'm going to call Gene. Hold on. Let me call... Let me give you a couple of questions and you ask them and see if... No, the ones that we've already done. Bye.

Good. Hey, listen, I have you on Bad Friends. It's not bad. We're playing Family Feud. We're prepping. Bobby and I are prepping for this weekend. Oh, okay. Well, are you available to do it Saturday? Because you're on the team. Okay, because you're healthy enough?

Yes, I'm healthy. I had a vaginal birth. I'm good. I'm ready. Hey, honestly, and we're happy for you, but don't bring the fucking baby. Don't bring the fucking baby, okay? And don't ever say vaginal birth again. Don't even say that. Say it plopped out or fell out. Okay, have you been training? Have you been training? Dave explained the show to me last night, and he was very upset that I... Oh, God. Make it be quiet. Oh, God.

Yeah, I definitely think Dave and I decided last night I should be last for whatever. Like, I should be the last one. You're not. Gene Hong's last. Gene Hong's going to be last. But Gene is smarter than everybody. That's why we need a good anchor. Yeah, he's a good anchor. We want you. You're kind of like the coal car, right? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, we get a little bit of coal from you. All right, hey. Yeah. We need to prep you real fast. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Yeah, you got to get these. We asked 100 people.

Top five answers on the board. Name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky. Aster. Oh, my gosh. Aster, come on. Okay. Pineapple. Bing. Bing. Okay. What else? Keep going.

Oh, um, pizzas. Uh, I don't like sausage, but no, people like that. Your internal dialogue? Don't say it out loud. Yeah, don't say it out loud on the show. When we do the show, you can't do that. Okay. Anchovies. Bing! Okay, two answers. Come on, baby. Three more. Onion? No. One more wrong answer and then that's it. Oh, uh...

Don't lose us the game. Please don't lose us the game. Canadian bacon. Ham. We'll take ham. That's it. That would be on it. Okay, that's three. And we didn't even guess that. That's great. Because she thinks differently. Yeah. I think she's like a little person. She is. She's an LP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little people think differently. Two more, Esther. Come on, baby. You got this. Oh, two more of that category? Oh, yeah, baby. She's not going to get it. Oh, my God. Pizza toppings that people don't like. Uh.

My mom's nodding to me that it's so easy. Yeah, well, then what does she say?

Mom, what's a pizza topping people don't like? This is a family feud rehearsal. Mushrooms. Yes. Okay, one more, one more, one more. That last one is bullshit. Carlos just texted me anchovies, but I said that already, Carlos. Okay, think this. Carlos, what are you doing? Oh, my God. What? Now Bobby's pissed off. I don't know. I'm scared. What did I do? Can your mom come play? She's going to be in the audience. All right. I didn't see her text not to say anything.

I'm sorry. All right, we love you. I can't wait to see you this weekend. Bring the baby. I'll carry it out on camera. I have to stay home for Dave to breastfeed. Okay, love you guys. Bye. Which races did Bobby's dad respect the least? Well, I mean, yeah, go ahead. Vietnamese. You don't know my dad, then. Yeah, this is funny. You absolutely don't. We asked 100 people. They asked 100 people. They don't know my dad. My dad hates the Vietnamese. Chinese. Chinese.

Fuck you guys. Fuck you, dude. Black people. Okay. I knew where they were doing this. I know what you're doing. Okay. African American. Japanese, obviously. Oh, I know one. I know one then. Based on my jokes. Yeah. Snake. So we just wrote your jokes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just reading off one of your jokes? Yeah, yeah. I had a stand-up joke once like this. All right. Go ahead. Cockroach. Okay.

I don't know because this is a fucking... Yeah, the next one. Get a real one that you did. Do you want to know the other answers? No, I don't even want to know. It's going to make me mad. Monkey. Monkey. White. Mexican. Go back to the deck, dude. Go back to the deck, dude. Name a notable alumni from Poway High School. Bobby. Go ahead. Bobby Lee. Charlie Hoffman. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's number four. Wow. Darshan Yuppehaida. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's number one. Tom DeLonge.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's number three. Tyler Nevin. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's number five. Anisha Nicole. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's number six. Andrew Webb. Yes! This is according to their official website. Wow. Yeah, wow. I can't believe I won. Wow, wow. And by the way, love Tyler Nevin's stuff. He's great.

Do you even know who that is? No. Tyler Nevin is a baseball player. Alicia Nicole is an R&B and hip hop singer. Did they really go there? Yeah. Charlie Hoffman, by the way, I know very well. PGA Tour professional.

Drew Walrus is a linebacker for the St. Louis Rams. Tom DeLong, Blink-182. Is Tom on there now? Yeah. No, he made it to the... I mean, this is just Wikipedia. Oh, but he didn't make it to the actual law. None of these guys are on the alum. This is on the Wikipedia page. Oh, okay. I'm on it too, no? And Darshan Upadhaya is a League of Legends professional player. Wow. Darshan Upadhaya. Can we just do one more from the box and then we'll go? One more from the box and we'll do something else. Yeah, that's fine. All right, ready?

What's the most important quality an employee could have? Andrew. Being punctual. Being on time. Number one. Working hard. That's not a requirement. Okay. I got... Wow. Honest. Number two. Okay. We got one and two. Friendly. Okay. Polite. Yeah, that's good. That's a requirement. See, that's interesting. I would disagree, but I get it. Okay. Go ahead. Works well with others.

That's kind of polite, right? You're right. That's the problem. But that's the problem because it's so vague. It's so vague. Read the question again because we have three. What's the most important quality an employee could have? See, it's most important. I know one. What? Experience. Punctuality, politeness...

Would you have hired any? No, no one in this office. None of these guys. Yeah, embody that. Hey, Steve, none of these guys would make it. Yeah. Read it one more time. Go, and then I'll get it. What's the most important quality an employee could have? Respect. Loyalty. Yeah, loyalty, respect. And that's it. Dependability. Dependability. Wow. Okay, one more. We do need to do one more. I need to feel it. Yeah, me too.

Name an occupation Sylvester Stallone would be perfect for if he wasn't an actor. Boxer. Number two. What? Number one. Police officer. Okay. Security guard. Yeah, yeah. We'll take that. What number is that? That's three. Okay. Sylvester Stallone if he wasn't. And it's my turn again. I got above you. My number was above you, right? Yeah, because I was two. You're right. In the fucking military?

Bouncer. Good, good, good, good, good. Yeah. What else? Come on. Oh, shit. This is the problem. Once you get it, you got to come up with other ones. Yeah. Oh, that's the problem. That's the hard thing because then you have to think while other people are guessing. A wrestler. Good guess. Thank you. Football player. It says bodybuilder and fitness trainer. Those are the same...

Steve, bodybuilder and fitness trainer are too close to each other. Every bodybuilder is probably a fitness trainer at one point in their life. Could be. Could be. It's like the sun is a star. This is going to be tough. Yeah, we're going to get fucking cooked. But it's not that we're going to get cooked. It's just anyone would get cooked. Yeah, who are we going up against, by the way? I hope it's like... We don't even know? You know what show? Love on the Spectrum.

I would love to go get some. Really? They would destroy us. I think they would, yeah. They would destroy us. Well, it's just not math. Kids with autism would fucking murder us. What's 436 divided by 7? You know what I mean? Then they would be... 47. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they would kill us. Anybody from Love on the Spectrum would murder us. You're right. Yeah, you're right. They have... Fuck. Okay, last one. With this one, we close the show. Name a musical instrument you really can't stand to listen to.

I know. Violin. Drums. See, this is the problem. Hold on. This is the problem with these questions. And this does this on the show sometimes. Can't stand to listen to. Drums are fucking great. This is my issue. The question should be phrased. Name a musical instrument if your neighbor was playing in the middle of the night would make you mad. Yeah, move on to the next question. Just one more. Am I right, though? The question's phrased wrong. Next card. Next card. One more card. Let's go. Let's go. Next card. Name something you pour on top of food.

Chocolate. I got it. Pour. Gravy. Gravy, that's good. Number one answer. Salt. You pour. Don't pour salt. Sure you do. I got it. Dressing. Yeah. How the fuck is that not on there? Because it's more specific than that. That's too generic. Italian dressing. You fucking. Ranch. Ketchup. Yes. Number two answer. Ranch. Mustard.

Mayonnaise. Toothpaste. Syrup. Cheese. Hot sauce. By the way, you pour dressing. It's cheese. What kind of fat fuck? You're not pouring a lot of cheese. Yeah. How often are you pouring cheese ever? Oh, everyone eats queso? Yeah. No. And they're not pouring it all over their steak. Oh, is he going to eat queso? It's bullshit. Let's move on. I'm not going to fuck. Fuck. We'll lose. We'll lose. It's fine. It doesn't even matter. You know what? We're going to lose and that's fine. It has nothing to do with your brain.

Last night, you told me, a couple days ago, you said to watch Dream Scenario on HBO. And anyone, any Bad Friends fans, dude, you gotta watch this movie. It's incredible. It's so good. But I was thinking about his career.

And I'm just so like – Look what he's done. I know. Lord of War. But what he did was – he disappeared from – because he did a movie called – that Christian movie that it was one of the worst movies ever made. What was it called? It was called – It's a pilot. Yeah, it's a pilot. It's one of the worst movies ever made. Oh, yeah.

What is it? Left Alone. Left Alone. He did a movie called Left Alone. Left Alone got – I'm going to show you Left Alone on the – He can look it up up there. Yeah, what did he get on Rotten Tomatoes? Just what a career he's had. He's incredible. But he had that – so he had that time. He wanted always to be a movie star, like an action hero, and he won an Oscar in order to become an action hero, which is kind of insane. Can't do that these days. But there was a gap there, a decade, where he was doing small movies, independent movies –

I think Mandy is what kind of like went, you know, kind of turned people's heads like, hmm, interesting. Yeah. God, he must be doing like, back then he must be doing three films a year. Look at, we're a valley girl? Oh my, look at the amount of work he's done, this guy. How could you do that much? He loves it so much, he goes from set to set. Yeah. No, I mean, I get it. If you have the opportunity, I understand it, but also, how overwhelming. Yeah. Where is life? That's what gets scary to me. Where is life? Where is life?

When you're so inundated with so much work, I think about that with my buddy, our pal. Oh, by the way, Moonstruck. What a good movie. Great movie, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, it could happen to you. It could happen to you. It was great. Adaptation was phenomenal.

You can name so many of these movies. Raising Arizona is still my favorite. And by the way, don't get me started on... Go down a little bit. Don't get me started on Ant Bully. I mean... What is that? I don't know. Dude, this guy's been in so many movies. He's in so many movies that some of them sound like they made them up and put them in there to see if you'd notice. Yeah. Like, I don't know... Cricker Lake or something. Yeah, Cricker Lake.

This goes out there to everybody. This is not just reference to the film industry. I'm talking about some of our fans out there. And I mean this. I'm going to say this to you because I had a conversation with a friend of ours, a friend of our family. I can't say who. They're private. But they were saying how they're feeling like they might be burning out a little bit, just like overworking. And they're not a comedian. They just work in our industry. And I was like, oh, you really have to take time.

Because it's dangerous when you let yourself be a part of something and you don't get to do you a little bit. And she was like, ha ha, you know.

Trying my best, but I'm dragging myself around, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I'm actually being serious. I'm like being genuine because I've learned if I don't do that, I get emotionally dark, deep down. Like I've taken this whole week of doing standup off. Now that we're back, I feel great. You seem great. I get to walk to coffee in the morning with the dog. I get an extra couple hours at home. Like it just feels nice to be able to like exercise, do the pod, take a break mentally, go to a nice dinner. Yeah.

I mean that for our fans too you gotta do things for you sometimes yeah I called you the other day you were taking a walk with your wife yeah just nice just like get the fuck out of your because sometimes if all you're doing is working like these like our fans too some people are just working working working working working if you don't take any time for you I'm telling you it's so bad for your brain were you just kidding the other day when you go I wasn't gonna do family food or no I think it was yesterday you know bud I'm not gonna do it yeah I wanted to see your reaction why because if I gave you an out you would've gotten out yeah

No, no, no. If you weren't excited for me to be there, I wouldn't have felt. Guy, guy, guy. I'm doing it for us. Okay. I'm doing it for us. I'm doing it for our family. But here's the thing. I called you to check you to see. I wonder if he really wants me to do it. And I said, because it's the Lee family and I'm not a Lee. You do. You're. I love a Lee. There is a Lee that I love. You're a close to me. Like you are like a family member. You're like, you feel you're a brother to me. Well, then why?

What are you talking about? It was an ego thing. You know what I mean? I just wanted you to- These are like third cousins. Cousins? Yeah, third. Yeah, like I don't know them. McCone is like a guy. McCone to me in my family network world is like an Amazon guy. You know the guy that drops off? It's like it changes every week. I don't even know who he really is. You're like on Ancestry.com. Like you're related to McCone. I'm like- How? How?

I would even, I would just kind of read and just kind of move on. I would ask them to change it. I'd go, can you take that off? Yeah. And fancy to me, family wise, is like somebody that married into my family, but like we put up with him. Like he comes to the family dinners. Hey, do you want to play a popular game we do in Spain? And we're like, fuck, he's going to make us do like the dice game thing or something. Your girlfriend's sister's new boyfriend is who you are. Oh my God. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Hey, I'm Charlie. Yeah. Oh, Charlie. Yeah. Yeah. Charlie, you're not funny. Can I show you pictures on my phone of stuff that I like? No. Get the fuck out of here, Charlie. And who's Carlos? Oh, Carlos is like, I know what I do. Dude, you're Kato Kaelin. Doesn't Carlos have a Kato Kaelin vibe? Dude, he is 100%. You're 100% Kato Kaelin. Yeah, you're Kato Kaelin, dude.

He randomly lives in a guest house somewhere. Yeah, you just live in somebody's guest house. Right. By the way, Kato, great, great head of letters. Look at that guy's hair. Yeah. Speaking of which, what were we thinking putting Fancy in a bald cap? We have a bald guy. What were we doing? We bought a bald cap? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this is just mismanagement all the way around. Delegation is just bad here.

Cato's got a great head of lettuce. He used to come around and do stand-up, right? Yeah, we used to see him at the coffee store a lot. You know what he used to do a lot? I'd see him at Jay Davis' shows. Yeah. What was the name of that show on Melrose? He had that big room on Melrose. A parlor. Parlor. Yeah, the parlor. He used to come around there. That room used to shake, man. That was a fun room. There were some fun rooms, some of those rooms back in the day. Yeah, beautiful people. Alternative rooms. You never did Dublin's, right?

I think it was before my time. Because Dublin was probably like in the early aughts, like 03 to 04 or 05, right? Yeah, the greatest night. I didn't get out until 07. It was the greatest night of comedy. You guys don't know about that either. Let's see this video. What is this? I'm pleased to confirm that at the age of 100... Guinness World Record for... This is their oldest man. Oh, the oldest Brit. Oh, it's the world's oldest man. All right.

111. He's like his tongue doesn't work anymore. Pause it. So here's why I think we wanted to play this video. Um,

Steve on Saturday will be also hard to understand. So we're trying to see if you could... If you heard everything he said, it's going to be easy. Steve's sometimes tough to understand. Yeah. Sometimes Steve, he runs to the questions real fast. Yeah. So this... Did you understand everything he said? No. Yeah, right. I know. But I was more interested in like, I guess when you get old, parts of your body die first. His tongue's been gone for quite a while. Yeah, so... Yeah, that died. Probably...

12 years ago. 12? He's 111. That died when he was like 85. 85, yeah. Would you ever want to live to be 111 years old? But he seems cognitive. More so than Joe Biden. And clear. I mean, seriously. So he could still probably use an Oculus. You think he jerks off with the Apple Pro? But imagine what he's seen. Okay, 111, what year was he born? 100 years would be 1924, right? Minus 11. Oh, okay.

Thanks, Andrew. You got it. Thank you. I mean, that's embarrassing. I don't have my abacus. Do you even want to be 111? So he was born in 1910. So in 19... Well, no. Okay. Something like that. It's 2024. 1911. 100 years was 1924 minus 11. What's 24 minus 11? So he was born in 1914. No, 1913. Yeah. 1913. Yeah. He was born in 1913, right? Yeah.

Before cars, right? Wikipedia 1913. Planes. When did planes happen? No, no, no. Yes, this is before. Commercial flights. Commercial flights, yes, of course. In 1913, go and zoom in. This is the first Balkan War. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Hold on, hold on, slow down. New York City's Grand Central Terminal was just rebuilt as the world's largest railroad station.

The 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, authorizing the federal government to impose and collect income taxes. Fuck me. What a shit year. That's when they decided to start stealing our money again? Wait, so he's in high school during the Depression, probably. 1929. No. Yeah, maybe just about. No, he's in middle school. Middle school. Yeah. He can't eat lollipops. Zoom into this. He is born. Go down. Let's see what else is going on during that. Hold on.

Woman suffrage procession takes place in D.C. Oh, these chicks are looking to vote. Woodrow Wilson was president when this guy popped up. Insane. The Mexican Revolution. Pancho Villa. Oh, my God. Wow. Folklore. Terrible year. Yeah. Scoot down.

Zorro was probably around still. Still. I think Godzilla was still around. Yeah. You know what the single was? What? Patty Cake. Patty Cake, Patty Cake. I don't know the word. Baker's Man. Yeah, yeah. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. What else? By the way, a little demanding for a child, don't you think? Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Yeah. Wait, let's do the rest. Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Baker's Man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Roll it. What? Roll it, toss it, put it up my ass? Yeah.

Throw me in the oven and bake me fast. Is that what it is? Oh, there's actually lyrics. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it and prick it and mark it with a B. Put in the oven for baby and me. For baby and me, for baby and me. It's cum. Is that what it is? This is the song about cum. Patty cake is about sex, isn't it? Yes.

What's the B on there for fancy B? So this guy lived through before. He saw it all. Well, I don't know if he did. I mean, who knows if he was paying attention. England in 1913. Uh-oh. Dude, look at it. Back then, we barely had beans on touch. That's them in the water with full clothes on. By the way, that's like a Los Angeles beach today. Yeah. Wow, look at that. Incredible.

I saw the good times. You ever go see, Mexicans at the beach in LA, they're in full clothes. Mexicans will wear sneakers into the water. They will. Yeah, yeah. What? Just look at that. Yeah, it looks like another world. It's incredible. What a life. 1913. Yeah. Those little British kids had his poop in the streets. Yeah. What would you say as a great-great-grandson to him? I'd be like, you gotta go already. Papo, you gotta go. Yeah. So I can get the money. I know.

Can you, does he, there's, that's the thing. If you live that long, there's no way you have money anymore. He doesn't have fucking money. No, he retired. What? 60 years before that. Nobody plans. No one's retirement plan includes 111. Yeah.

You're done. You're done. Your money's run. His money probably ran out by the time he was like 88 or 90. And then he was like, now what? At 85, he was like, should I work again? You got to get another job? Yeah. That always breaks my heart. When I see like an old person working somewhere, I'm like, when they're really old, I'm always like, what is going on? Like that breaks my fucking heart. It breaks my heart. Like whenever I see, I donated a bunch of stuff to Goodwill.

And that's probably volunteer work. But the woman out back was so old and she was like, you want any help? And I was like, no, you can't carry all this shit. What is that? Senior citizens who are employed. Wow. California has the most. Who's surprised? How many? Four million. That's a lot. Yeah, you know why? This place is a fucking ripoff. You have to work. This place sucks. Let's get the fuck out of here. Would you...

Would we move the show? Could we move the show if we wanted to move somewhere? Yeah, where? Atlanta? Europe. Both bad answers. No, where? Vegas? You want to go to Nevada? Save money on taxes? Because if you go to Vegas... Fuck California, man. Then people will get... There's people out there. We can get Carrot Top, all kinds of people. That's one. Right? Yeah, who else? Regan?

Two. We can get Regan. We can get Nicolas Cage. Three. The magician. Piff. Oh, Shin Lim. Yeah, yeah. He lives here, doesn't he? No. Penn and Teller. They don't live there. Paulie lives here now. Yeah, Penn and Teller live there. It doesn't matter. We can also fly people in if they're... Right? Yeah. It's Vegas. We can fly people in. It's cheap from LA. Okay. And number two, let's do it. Let's go. Let's get out of here. All right.

You guys are all willing to move? Are we invited? You work for the company, yes. Well, you signed a blood contract. Well, hopefully we do well on Family Feud. And I hope you guys watch. We'll let you know when it comes out. And thank you for being a bad friend. We get a transition for the Family Feud game at one point because we go back and forth two times. Are you cutting this episode? I just don't know. I don't know. Sometimes you don't know. Don't even laugh, dude. It's astounding.

As if he's Steven Spielberg. Get out of here, dude. Dude. Beat it, beat it, dude. Dude, you... You haven't done shit. The nerve of you is insane. It's pure insanity, dude. Stay back there. Stay back there, dude. Next thing you know, he's going to give us line readings. How about this? How about this? Ready? Well, that was fun. Let's try it with the other cards. Is that the transition that you want? That's great.

Give me another shot. Give me a shot. You do one. Well, that was interesting because thank you so much, McCone, for doing the one that's bad friends related. Cool. But maybe we should go to the ones that are like traditionally the cards that you got at a gift store or whatever. That's a great idea. Good idea, right? Take it away, guys. Let's do it. You better fucking use that card. Yeah. Where was that in Drugstore June? Oh, man.

Go get him. Go fuck him up. Go fuck him up. I'm dead serious. Go, Bobby. Go fuck him up. No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to. You know why? No, here's the deal. You are a little cocksucker. Here's the deal. That was, you know what? I'll be honest with you. Piece of shit. It's the roll. Don't defend it. Why? Why do you have to even defend his comment? God, that was so good, though. It was pretty good. I'll tell you why.

He knows. He knows. It'll forever burn the spirits. Yeah, it's going to hit you. Like he knows it. Yeah, and he doesn't care. He's like, this is going to completely separate us. 100%. Right? There's no way going back. As if it wasn't bad before. Yeah. I have to say this joke though. Say it. Right? So he says it, right? Knowing that he could get fired. Oh, yeah. It's forever done. And yet he had the balls to say it. And I appreciate you as a fucking warrior.