Bad Friends Worldwide
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It's free. Awesome. That's cool. There are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer. You do it from your phone like on the go? Oh, my God. That's cool. And on the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool. Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and many, many, many, many, many, many, many more. Go ahead.

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Welcome to the show! Welcome to the show! I'm Bobby Lee. I'm Andrew Santino. And this is Bad Friends! We love, we love to cook. We love to clean. We love to...

Can you imagine if we did one of those shows, if we did like an HGTV show? Oh, my God. It would be a disaster. Do you watch those, the Flipping Property Brothers and all that stuff? House flipping shows? I love when they flip flip. Flip flip? Yeah, I love it. I love when they take a really shitty house, right? Yeah, and they flip it. And they turn it into like a shitty house but looks better. It's a better shitty house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they sell it for tons of money. I know. You know, when we were looking for houses, there were some houses where—

where it was like you know i mean a crack house yeah and the collider would be like we could just you know buy for cheap and flip it and like how the fuck i don't know hardwood people i don't know ceiling people i don't know i can do that what did she say she's you're right yeah yeah yeah yeah why are we flipping flipping a house is people think it's like a thing you can just do yeah no it's impossible number one okay first of all i don't know how much wood costs let's take a guess

I don't even know what the two-by-four, I don't even know what the dynamension is to get. You got it. The dynamension is a two-by-four. Well, I go to Home Depot and I go, hi, show them a photo. Welcome to Home Depot. How can I help you? Hi, so I bought a crack house down in Crenshaw. Yeah, everything here in Los Angeles is a crack house. Right, so here's the house. Okay, I see that piece of shit. See the floor? It's barely a floor. It's crack linoleum. It's crack linoleums.

And also, there are weeds growing. Anyway, I need to put new hardwood floors in. Okay. How much is it? How much do you think you want to give us? I'll give you half a million. Done. That's how much it costs. So then I put it in my car. Yep. How do you bring it to the car? On your shoulders? Shoulders would be right. That's even... I can't do that. I don't even know. Yeah. And then who are you going to hire to install it? Do you have somebody? Raul Jose.

Alejandro and... They're one guy. That's his name. Raul Jose Alejandro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one guy. I could do basically everything. Yeah, and then...

So that's that, right? And then now mildew. What do you do with that? Oh, my God. You have to have someone come and kill and disinfect and scrape and yeah. Yeah. So I hire that guy. How much is that guy? $800,000, $900,000. Right. So I'm already a million deep with floors and mildew scraping. You're done. Yeah. I'm done. I'm in the hole. How much are you going to flip the house for? Probably $200,000.

I made $200 extra. $200. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After taxes, you lost $800. I lost it, yeah. So I don't know how to do that. No, no. That idea is impossible. Also, you don't have the time to live in a house that's going to be flipped.

That's right. We would have to get an Airbnb or go to a hotel room with the fucking knives, the knives that she has. Honestly, everyone has been sending me emails about Rudy's knife dreams, dissecting it. Well, they also dissected your vampire eggs. A lot of it was Stardew Valley, by the way. That's where they think all of it comes from. The eggs definitely for Stardew Valley. And the vampires. Yeah, but the wooden vacuum killer, there's no way. Yeah, they did say there was something in the game.

There's not a wooden vacuum cleaner in Stardew Valley. Something that was about cleaning that was in the game. Maybe. I don't know. I sound like a psychic right now. Yeah. I'm getting a vibe from maybe a cousin. Maybe a cousin. I'll tell you another thing. Yeah. Is the other day, a couple of weeks ago, I said, Rudy. Time out. You said the other day, a couple of weeks ago? The other day, a couple of weeks ago. I said, yeah. The other day, a couple of weeks ago. Last month, today. Yeah. It doesn't matter. It's in the past. I get it. Okay. So don't correct me. No doubt. But I was asking her, and I don't know if you remember this. I go-

Where are the knives at? And she goes, Tito Bobby, it's in the compartment. So I had to open up the fucking, right, the dishwasher. And there's a compartment, right? Above it. Above it with all the, but I don't know, that's not where the knives really go. And I think she's hiding it or something. No, no, that's where they go. I put it up there. In the top, you're saying you pull out the top, that's where the knives are, right? Oh, really? That's where they go? Yeah. Well, then that's my bad. Okay.

Well, then that's my bad because in my mind, I'm like, why is she hiding that? We have the same dishwasher. It's above the dishes, right? Yeah. That's where the knives go? Yeah. That's all I want to know. But by the way, I don't trust her. You know what she said to me last week? She goes, hey, do you guys ever do sponsors that maybe I could have some of the things? And I was like, yeah. I mean, we have a bunch of –

We have a bunch of different ad reads. What do you want? I can get you something. And she goes, BMW. Do you do knives, like Japanese knives? And I said, really? And she goes, just like seven or eight kitchen knives maybe.

That's what she asked for. Didn't you ask for sharp knives? And I said, what for? And you said, I collect them. And do you have those Japanese schoolgirl uniforms that I can have? Yeah, that's what she wanted. She wanted a schoolgirl, private school, school uniform, knives. And she wanted to go and fucking kill everyone in the fucking house.

I've seen that movie before. Rudy, you're scary, but I like you. But you're scary, dude. Do you think that dream that you had that everyone keeps talking about it, we keep getting emails on the fan page. Do you think that you had that dream because there's someone in your life that you hate that you just can't tell that you hate? You can't say it to them? No. Someone predicted they said Rudy has pent up aggression towards a person in her life that did her wrong. I think I know who it is, but I don't want to get private in the...

Who? Is it a family member? No, I think maybe because your dad wasn't around

No, I don't really care about my dad. There it is. That's true. That was it. I felt it. Yeah. Did you feel it? Yeah. Yeah. That's the knives in the school. That was it. Yeah. That's killing. Youth, anger, madness. Yeah. That makes it revenge. Yeah. You have because she's also one of the type of people I say, how do you feel? Fine. How do you feel right now? Okay. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. Deep. It's either fine or okay.

Is it ever good, Rudy? Or do you ever feel good? Get closer to the mic, Juliana. Get closer to the mic. Sometimes. What's a good day for you? I don't know. Being with the dogs. Being with the dogs is a good day. I like that a lot. We did something yesterday and Kalilah said never to talk about it. Talk about it. Talk about it. She said never to talk about it. Should we not talk about it? I don't know. I don't know.

So I had to do ADR yesterday for some movie that I did. What movie? I did a movie with Eric Griffin. Wait, seriously? Yeah. What was it? It's called Mayfair Games. What? Yeah, it's with me, Eric Griffin, Mary Lynn Reiskub, Sean Austin, isn't it? From Lord of the Rings. Rudy. Rudy.

Rudy, yeah. Not you. So I did ADR for that, and then it was over. You know, you do an independent movie, so always the ADR place is in like— Some guy's basement. It was in a house. Yeah, so some guy's house. Some guy's house. Yeah, it's always some—he's like, what's up? I'm Steve. You're looking for Dan. Smoking out front. Also, the guy—first of all, we go—I go, I don't want to do it. And they go, no, dude, we're like quarantined, too. We're like, we're real safe, right? We fucking drive up. The guy has no mask, no gloves, and he's just out there smoking. What's up, man?

I literally just said that. Yeah, I know, I know. But that's exactly what happened, right? And then Kalilah's like, no, you can't go in there. So I, fuck it, I have to do it. So I did it, right? And then Kalilah goes, let's take a drive by the beach. I've done that. Not go on the beach, but just see. No, I've taken a drive by the beach. It's nice. It's nice, right? So nice. But she did something. She said something that is so unlike her.

Right? It's almost as if this is how crazy it is. It's like a priest going, no, that's not crazy. Let me think of something. A priest going, come here, little boy. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? No, it's like if Al Magical said that he choked a baby. That's how shocking. You know, that would be shocking, right? Whose baby?

That is true. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. No, you're saying it's something out of the ordinary. It's a shocking out of the ordinary. So we're driving on the beach and she goes, you want to see if Lily's is open? Lily's? The...

No. What is Lily's? If you are ever in Malibu when the quarantine's over, the best Mexican food restaurant of all time... Is it in the Malibu... Is in Malibu. No, no, in the strip mall there. Yes. Yes, I know what it is. Are you in there? Yes, I know exactly what it is. It's so fucking good. You didn't tell me about it. Did you tell me about it? I don't know. It's in that strip mall. I know exactly what you're talking about. And she goes, you want to get Lily's?

And I literally, right, remember what I, my tears. You started crying? Oh, my God. What? Bob. Don't tease me. No, she wanted to get it. No, this is, she, I told you before, right? She is the, she is quarantine queen. Yeah. You don't leave the house for no reason. You don't touch nobody. But you can order food from them. No, we don't, we've never even done that. Right? So she goes, let's see if they're open.

They were open. And fucking Rudy ran into the restaurant. You were sending the slave? We called in. We brought in the fucking guinea pig. I go, hey, go, go, go. And I kicked her out of the fucking... Did she wear a mask? No. Yeah, she did. Get in there. And she runs and she goes, I'm here for a little order. And they're like, you want to... You know what I mean? She's got the night. So we took the food and we went by kind of like the street on this hill.

And we ate, just golfed it down. And it was literally, you know, Kalilah said, this is the way we should always eat food, you know, because it's like, you know, I had Lily's before once a month. I would just drive to Malibu. Not that big of a deal. But when it's special like that. Yeah. You know, they say, I don't know if you know the statistic, but they say that somebody that was in a horrific car accident, right, who's paralyzed from the neck down,

is happier than somebody who wins the lottery. Well, that seems subjective. It's not. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Let me just finish my point, okay? Because the person that, like, you know, imagine somebody has no money. He wins the lottery, right? Their friends begin to use them, right? Family members start asking for money, right? Right.

You spend it. You don't know how to use it. You don't know how to invest it. Because you've never had money before. And you start getting paranoid about people and whatnot. It generally makes you very unhappy. Yeah, that's true. Statistically, most people that win the lottery end up – When somebody is in a car accident and paralyzed from neck down, little things like tasting orange juice is the happiest moment in your life. When you're able to do this with your finger –

I move my finger. That's a huge thing. And also you realize who really loves you. The people that are by your side helping you through the – you know what I mean? Dancing? No, not dancing but helping you through the physical therapy. You're right. Right.

And then, you know what I mean? And there's always someone, you can do a Bobby, like Kalilah would be there. Put your left foot. I go, no, it's shaky. Right? You wouldn't do it. Yes, I would. You wouldn't rehab at all. I would rehab. I use the bars, right? No. I go, it's shaky. And she, you can do it. And I do it. And I go, I did it. Right? You would never rehab. And everyone would be like, yeah. And you would feel happy. And give me oranges. Oh my God, I have the flavors. You know what I mean? You wouldn't, you would never rehab.

That's fucking so rude. It would be your dream. If you got paralyzed in a car accident, Bob. Yeah. They're like, well, it's going to be hard to get you back on your feet. Or you could stay in a wheelchair and a bed and a couch and play video games and just fucking hang out on your fat ass all day. And you're going to be like. That's true. Yeah. In that way, it's true. But I know this about myself. I know that two years in. You can walk and it's hard to get you to walk. It's hard to get you up and about. Fuck you. I can walk. I know how to do it. Right. I.

I've done it before. I can do it again. I know. But like I know that – yeah, I'd be paralyzed, right? Why do you keep doing this? I don't know. Are you a skeleton? Are you like a ghost? What is this? I've never been paralyzed before, right? So I'm sitting there, right? And I'm playing video games and I can't walk. And I'd be like, this is cool. And people are just feeding me Hot Pockets or whatever. Your dream, your dream, your dream. Right? And it's like – but then I know that – let me just see –

What's on TV? And once I clicked over to television and I saw you on a TV show, it would immediately go, oh, fuck. I got to get back out. I need to get back out there. And so that's – I know that's not what happened. Cut to the montage scene of you. You're in the water. You're swimming. And then the instructor is like, Bobby, you're doing good. And then you turn and you're like shit in the pool. And everyone's like, get out of the pool. You get out of the pool.

I could see it. No, you could. You would react good. But do you understand the – I know what you're saying. But between the lottery winner and the – I understand what you're saying because you learn to appreciate things. Look. That's what I'm saying. I said this on this thing that I did one, this solo thing I did, and I mean this. This is very sentimental. What is it? One of my favorites. Start from the beginning because I wasn't listening. No, no, no. I know. I said this on this other podcast is what I'm saying. I don't know whose I did it on. Okay. But anyway.

One of my favorite music artists is a guy named Warren Zevon. You know his music. You don't know it, but he wrote the song Werewolves from London. You know that. So Warren Zevon, his last appearance when he had cancer on Letterman. By the way, if you have on YouTube, please watch it. It's fucking incredible. Him and Letterman became very close and he decided to do his last TV appearance playing music on Letterman because he loved him so much. And Letterman goes, is there anything that you know now being in the stage four of cancer that you are?

this late in your life that you can like impose wisdom upon us something that we like need to know and it was like he asked it so profoundly and he didn't it's it could be taken in a way that's like oh you're dying so tell us what you know but he did it so nice and Warren said you know I think I've just learned to enjoy every sandwich and that's what you're saying that's exactly what you were saying he was just saying you just have to enjoy every sandwich

So the Lily story, I'm saying it paralleled. It's real. Now you just bring up another question. What? About death. What? What is it going to be like? Do they have sandwiches? No. I mean, it's like, you know, I do sometimes think that, especially in quarantine. What's death going to be like? Yeah, I just, I don't want to die. You're not going to. Don't think about it. Well, I mean, you're going to. Yeah, but when? No time soon. Yeah. I can see when people are going to die. Can you really? I can. You have that gift? I've had that before. And guess who's going to die pretty early? Yeah.

Yeah, I could feel that too. Actually, Rudy's going to live so long. Oh my God. She's going to marry some fucking old, listen, she's going to meet some old billionaire. Yeah. Some, you know, one of these guys, he pulls up in a Bentley and he's like, hey, Filipino girl, get in. And she's like, okay. Yeah. And she hops in and he's like, I want you to be my girlfriend and she's like,

Okay, but no touch. And he's like, whatever. And he thinks he's got the best of her. Well, she starts poisoning him, right? Right. Slowly poisons him. He never gets to even touch her. She stays pure, pure, right? No gross pig man touch her. He dies. She gets all of his money. She goes back to the Philippines. She takes care of all of her family. She comes back here, right? And she opens up.

A very successful knife shop in Beverly Hills. Yeah. Rudy's Knives. Also, just FYI. Yeah. Her dad's a lawyer. Her stepdad's a lawyer. She comes from good stock over there. Why are we paying you? I'm not going to pay her anymore. She used to live like Rose from 90 Day Fiancé. Yeah, with the pigs and stuff? Yeah, she remembers when her dad was going through law school and all that stuff. She was burning over. They had shit in a bucket. Used to poop in a bucket? Yeah.

No. Wait, get closer to the mic. No. So in that old house you were living in, did you have a toilet that flushed? No. See, that's what I'm saying. But we don't poo in a bucket. Where do you poo then? In the ground, in a hole in the ground.

It's a broken toilet. It's a broken toilet. So just let it build up in the fucking toilet? It doesn't fucking flush? What are you talking about? You just take a bucket of water and then... Yeah, push it down and the gravity takes care of it. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, my bad. It is civilized. Well, okay. Speaking of internationalisms, we have fans from all over the world. No, but check this out. This is crazy. We aligned...

There's like six or seven people in a waiting room from all over the world. We don't know where they're from. Jorge and Andres did it for us. Do you want to talk to people or no? Oh, I'd love to. I want to connect with people from all over the world. You seriously want to? I have no choice, so let's do it. All right, George, do it. Line it up. Let's go. Who's the first human being? Patrick Layard? Laylard? Leyland? Leyland, yeah. We can't see your video, Pat.

Uh, but I'm trying to figure it out now. Oh, there he is. Oh, shit. Son of a Patrick. Where are you? Uh, what do you mean? What part of the world? Are you on planet Earth? Are you on Earth? Yeah. What do you mean? That's what we mean. Where on Earth are you on the planet? Uh, I'm in Como. What's Como? Como. Como. What's Como? What is, where's that at? It's like at the bottom of England.

Oh, Comore. Comore, the bottom of England. Yeah, what are you talking about? Bottom of England. What football club do you support? Manchester United. Man, you. Bobby's going to be pissed off about that, dude. You know I'm an Arsenal fan. He's a huge Arsenal fan. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you did? Okay. What do you do, Patch? I'm a security guard. What are you securing? From where? For what? A university. A university?

But I think it's dangerous. Dangerous. They need you. What does it say behind you on the wall? Does it say a cuss word, pal? You know what, young man? I've said twice to you to take that down. Your father's going to be ticked off when he gets home. What time is it there? What time is it? Yeah. It is half 11 at night. Yeah, they do that thing. Half 11. Half 11. Does that mean that's 1030 or is that 1130?

1130. Yeah, so just say 1130. Fucking British. These guys have been making it. You fucking lie me. You lie me hooligan you. By the way, half 11 would be fucking 5.5. So is it 530? That would be half 11. Are you a Bad Friends fan, Patrick? Yeah, I am. So people in England listen to some of them. Some of them listen to us. He does for sure. How many people in the town where you live know about the show? Probably just me. Okay.

Okay. That's good. What do you like about it? I don't know. You're just very funny, aren't you? Oh,

Oh, thank you so much. The British do this great thing where they say something with such – with a lack of confidence that they ask a question over. So if you're like, you like it? And they go, yeah, I mean, don't you? Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants to make sure – he goes, you're pretty funny, aren't you? Like he's asking us if we – They're asking us and then we're supposed to go, yeah, we are funny. And he goes, yeah, you are, aren't you? And then we're supposed to go, yeah. And he goes, yeah, sure you are. You are, aren't you? Don't you think? Yeah. Yeah, no, yeah. Yeah.

You're handsome, aren't you? You're handsome, huh? Yeah. So I can... But just a guest, a wild, wild, insane, uneducated guest, you smoke pot? Yeah. Do you smoke a lot? Yeah. Uh...

Yeah. Oh, shit. Wait, do they have medicinal use there in England? I don't know. Do you guys know? What is it there? But what are they going to do? The cops don't even have guns. What can they do? They're like, come on, stop smoking, please. Put it down, will you? And you're like, fuck you, copper. Yeah. Now, let me ask you something. How do you get it? Uh...

illegally. He's like, well, I'm not going to rat out my friend. I'm not going to rat out my friend, Nigel. Yeah. No, seriously, it's a buddy that does it, right? There is no stores. There's not even medicinal stores, correct? Yeah, just an old man. Just an old man that you know that grows. That's awesome. Is it Michael Caine? Is it?

It's got to be Michael Caine. Is it Brian Bryden? When you're having sex with your girlfriend, is that banner above you? Just to give you instruction on how to do it? Fuck it. Yeah. Okay, yeah. When he's too high and he's on top of her, he's like, right, fuck it. All right.

I forgot what to do. Fuck it. Fuck it. Yeah. Patrick, you're the best, dude. Thank you for being a bad friend. We love you very much. We love you so much. All right. We're going to answer another international call. You're the best, dude. Keep spreading that word. Keep that university safe. Love you, dude. All right. All right, brother. They have stoners over there, too. Hell yeah, they got stoners over there. I had no idea. The potheads are everywhere. Oh, my God. They're all over this great, beautiful world. Yeah. All right. Let's see who's next on the international docket. You know how we had people from all over the world. Who was this?

Well, we have ladies and boys, boys and girls that are both on this feed with us right now. In the waiting room was a bunch of people, Bobo, who wanted to get on the international show. We had people as far as fucking like West Russia, like the middle of nowhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The middle of nowhere, Russia.

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It's terrible. It is a very bumpy sack. Yeah. And I've been checked. It's fine. No lumps. But I have to use a nice – like the Lawn Mower because it's got a light on it. You can see the crevices, the crevasses. And so I don't nick myself anymore because I used to nick my nuts. I'm not kidding. I nick my nuts like once every three times I used to shave. Can we talk about the Perfect Package? Yeah. The Perfect Package 3.0 kit comes with the new and improved –

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Oh my god. Oh my god. It's Alexandra. Alexandra. Join with your video so we can... Where are you? There it is. There she is. There's Alexandra. You're the whitest person I've ever seen, Alexandra. I am. Are you albino? What are you?

I'm close to it. And it's a housing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have the white wall, you know. When are you getting out of that insane asylum? When are they letting you out of that fucking padded room? Where are you right now? I'm in Serbia. Whoa. See? Oh, my God. Serbia, Russia. Do you know where Serbia is? Well, I've seen Eastern Promises. There you go.

Nope. I don't know what that is. No, no, that was, oh, it's a really good movie. What time is it in Serbia? This is just going to be my favorite question. What time is it? It's, I guess, 20, I guess it's midnight, around midnight. Oh. 20 minutes to 1 a.m. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Are you single? Yes. Are you heterosexual? No.

Yes. All right, so let's do a little contest. You know, if Andrew and I were both single, I mean, where would you lean to, you think? You're not going to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm fine. We're totally fine. It'll hurt my feelings if you say Bob. I have a story. Okay. Okay.

I kind of had a sex dream with Andrew. Yes! I don't know where it came from. I know where it came from. No, wait, what's the sex dream? Can you tell us what it is? Wait a minute, I have a glass of wine. Oh my God, she needs to be blacked out before she thinks about fucking me. Okay, so let's hear the sex dream. So, I don't know where it came from. I just had a dream one night. Um...

Yeah. You're very kind of romantic, kind of like a long-term boyfriend kind of thing. Yeah. Where were we? Where were we in the dream? Did we were out on a hill somewhere? Like on a boat? Was I in the dream at all? Was I a valet? I had a dream with you as well. It wasn't a sex dream. But I had a dream with Bobby. Me, Bobby and Kanye West were driving in a car and the car crashed.

That was my dream. That's my dream. Wait, did you guys die? Did anybody die? I promise I'm not on drugs. I just have like very crazy dreams. That is wild. But yeah. So you had a sex dream with – a romantic sex dream with Andrew and I burned in a fiery –

Fiery car crash. Yes. With Kanye West. With Kanye West. So that's good. So you kind of win. Yeah, you won. You won. Yeah, you won. Say your names because I can't see it. It says Alexandra. Alexandra. What do you do during the day hours when you're not having sex dreams about me and Bobby dying in a fire?

I am a therapist, a very young one, but I am like a psychotherapist. Oh, nice. Okay. You're helping people out. How's that been going? Well, it's kind of a difficult situation in Serbia when it comes to jobs. So it's kind of, I'm volunteering at the moment. I work in customer service. That is where I get my money from. But I do therapy. Okay.

Can I ask you a question about COVID? We don't hear a lot about Russia and COVID. Are you guys fine out there or is it out there? Yeah, I guess. Well, where I live, people have been through some shit, so they're kind of used to it. They just bought all of the things that they could buy at the beginning of this in March, and they're just chilling at home.

People in Russia don't give a... They live through such tough shit. I would like to say that I'm from Serbia, but... Serbia. That's right. Sorry. He said Russia and I copied it. That was my fault. I apologize. That's why you died in my dream. They're tough people. There's tanks. Their lives are tougher than ours. There's always a guy with a gun nearby. Snow...

James Bond is always ruining their country for some reason. The Night King's probably from there. Right? Yeah. Well, we love you very much. Thank you for being our bad friend. We really appreciate you. I will cry in like three minutes. I'm keeping my cool right now, but this was very cool. Thank you. Well, you're the shit. Thanks for listening. We really appreciate you. Thank you. Spread the love. Spread the love around Serbia. Let them know about us. Improve your dreams, okay? Yeah, yeah. Have a dream about Bobby next time, and I'll watch.

I will. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Why? That hurt your feelings that she had a sex dream about me? Yeah, because it's like she could have lied. No. No, she couldn't have lied.

Because I feel like every girl is going to say they had a sex dream about you. That's not true. Why? And why do you – Because I'll tell you why. Because when I told you the other day on the phone that Ed, Big Ed – Yeah, Big Head Ed who never answered my DM. Said that Kalilah was too hot for me. Yeah. Which is what he did say on Instagram Live. Yeah. You started laughing.

Because that's funny. No, it's because you think it's true. No, I don't. I think it's funny that a guy that looks like fucking Mayo Head Ed said to you that another girl was too hot for you when fucking everything is too hot for him, in my opinion. But that's my point. It's like if Rose, that girl that's on the 90 Day Fiancé, is not too hot for him, that he thinks I'm below him. Well, then shit on him when he gets on Tiger Belly.

But don't laugh at it. You're supposed to be my... It's funny. It's funny that this guy was like, Kalilah's too hot for Babby. That's hilarious. I know. It's so hurtful. That's hilarious. That's like a guy in a wheelchair watching fucking LeBron James dunk and is like, not that good. It's like, yeah, it is. What are you fucking talking about? It was so funny to me. Yeah. Of course you're hot. You and Kalilah, it's compatible. What is it called?

I don't fucking know. Yeah. It's called... You're the... You deserve each other. You... Look... All my life, okay, people have said, like, you know, he's cute or he's like, you know, he's my best friend or, like, I'm always in that category and I feel like, you know, I've changed my vibe. Bob...

So, like, as I got older, I started fucking rough fucks. You have a hot live-in girlfriend. Yeah, I could do it. You have a Filipino slave. What more do you want? That's true. You have a harem of animals who follow your every command. That's true. What else do you need? You're a sex machine. I know. Give me somebody else international. Jorge, I want to see who else is on there. Serbia's fucking incredible. Look at that. I said Western Europe or Eastern Europe, and they gave it to us. So we have London, Eastern Europe. Not London. South England. Whatever.

Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. No, it's all the same to you. Who's this now? This is going to be John Weber. His name is John Weber. Let's guess where he's from. John Weber. Nevada. No, he's from Brazil. John Weber, where are you from? Put on your video, John. I'll stick to you. Yeah.

Oh, shit. Oh, wow. It's a boy band. It's John and Weber. It's John and Weber. John and Weber. No, we're from the Netherlands, man. Oh, fuck. Netherlands. I love Netherlands. Yeah, me too. You guys know who Val Nisaroy is? Val Nisaroy? No. Oh, he was a soccer player for Manchester United. Isn't it Val Nisaroy? Yeah. How are you guys doing, man? Good. I'm pretty good. I like your hair. Yeah. Yeah.

Who's John Weber? Which one's which? Me. I'm John Weber. Who's that guy? Who's the other guy? Yeah. I'm Yoel Barton. Yoel? Yoel Barton. We say it Joel here or Joel. How do you spell your name, Yoel? It's like the Y-O-E-L. Yeah. Yoel is correct. Yeah, that is right. Very good. What are you guys doing?

We're just gaming and waiting for this call. What are you... Okay, so listen. I just finished Witcher 3. What are you guys playing? I'm playing... Right now, I'm playing this quarantine. I'm playing Fallout. Fallout 4? Fallout 4? Yeah, Fallout 4. Oh, it's my favorite.

favorite one of my favorite games of all time it's my favorite and I want to play The Witcher because of you because I have it but I never really played it so I really want to play it because I heard you talking about it let me tell you something about The Witcher okay because I played Skyrim and I like Fallout when you first play The Witcher you're like it's not the same but you know what it has elements of those games in it and I think the story is so strong I think you'd really like it my friend

Okay, I'll try it. I like your lips, by the way. Can I just say this? Super nice lips. Don't do that. My dick is hard. My dick is hard too. John just goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So in

Fallout, are you building your own... I remember when you played Fallout, you could build your own house and stuff. Yeah, that's my favorite. The first time I played it, I made the biggest settlement ever. Oh, yeah, the settlement. I'm making it again. Hey, Yoel, how old are you guys? How old are you guys?

I'm 17. I'm 18. It's good to see you young guys connecting about video games. It's cute. I like that. Let me ask them then. Is it weird that I'm 48 years old and I know exactly what you're talking about when it comes to video games?

Yes. No, it's fine. It's fine. No, I like it. I wish I would game like when I'm 40. You will. Oh, you will. Trust me. Yeah. I can see you right now. I can see into your future. You will. You'll be gaming a lot. Let me ask these guys the same question I asked before, if you don't mind. Yeah, please. All right. So you guys aren't gay, right? Straight guys? No. Okay. But let's say you were gay.

Right? Yeah, so pretend that you're gay. Yeah, pretend that you're gay, right? Which... All right. Which one of us would you date? Okay, it's like the situation, I guess. Like, dating...

I think Andrew, I would choose Andrew because I know you're much maintenance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're a lot of your high maintenance. Yeah. And I would like get a beating once or twice, but from Andrew. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You got that right. You would get a couple of beatings. Yeah, you would, you cute little fucky little smooth-faced bitch. What about you? I would choose you, Bobby. Like, I don't know, get a little Korean barbecue and...

Yes. Yeah. Fuck yes. You and I would go to the spa together at night. You would definitely go. Both of you guys would end up in the spa with Bobby. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course. Maybe we could like double date or something. Yes, we could. We could double date. Fuck yeah. But I got to tell you, Yoel, you better stay in line when we go out, all right? You can double date, but I don't want you throwing eyes at Bobby. You're with me, young man. And we could do a four-man train. Have you ever done a four-man train? No, but I'm open for it, I guess. Yeah, I mean, be open. Yeah, that's the key, thank you. I guess.

And obviously, I'm the caboose, okay? Yeah, Bob's got to be in the back. I got to be in the back. All right, well, listen. Andrew, do you want to be in the front? I'm going to watch. I want to watch you guys. I like to sit in the corner. He's the conductor. Is Jules there? Yeah, Jules is there. Jules is there. She's over there. She can hear you. Just come in the screen and say hi. They're from the Netherlands. Come here. Jules, just come to the fucking screen, Jules. Come over here. Go over there behind Bob. She's coming. She's coming. I'm really in love with you. Oh, my God. He's in love with you. Go over there. Go behind Bobby so we can see. Let us out.

She can't hear because the headphones are not on her, but there she is. And Jules, so he's 17 and 18, right? 17 and 18. So which one of these two guys would you... Jules? Jules? Which one of the guys would you go on a date with? We're not being gross, nothing gross. Who would you let take you out on a date? Yoel is on the left and John is on the right. The eyeglass?

The eyeglasses guy. The eyeglasses. Who's that? That's John. Oh, don't feel bad, buddy. Get the fuck out of here. You picked the wrong guy. Hey, wait a minute. No, be nice. Yoel, just know this. Yeah. I'm going to take you out to an amazing little dinner. Let me tell you something.

She doesn't have any money. I got money. I'll take you out to a nice place. I valet the car. I throw the keys at him. I go, keep it running, baby. Right? Right out front, you and me sitting down, whatever you want. Appetizers, salads, soups, drinks, whatever you need. A big main course. Then I make you get under the table and start rubbing my feet while I finish my meal. Right? The night's just beginning. I get you back out in the car. We take off. We go to my palace in Malibu, overlooking the ocean. And the next morning, you're going to look like a

fucking panda because you're gonna punch both your eyes out i'm gonna knock you out but i'm gonna love you in the meantime you guys okay you're the best we love you thank you so much you guys honestly we'll talk to you soon bye guys love you guys dude the netherlands are awesome and listen look at look at the young boys love juliana yeah and you know it's so funny you broke that guy's heart so much the guy who liked you was that you picked the other one yeah you broke his fucking heart juliana shattered

Like he might kill himself tonight. Talking to the mic. How do you do? You don't care. You just close to the mic, Juliana. Why did you like the glasses boy better? What about him was more appealing? He's cute. He's cuter. Get closer to the mic, Jules. I am. All right. Get your mouth closer to the mic. I turned up her level so loud because I knew she'd be 50 feet away. Yeah. He kind of looked like his van's joy. Yeah. Yeah. It was cute. Yeah. He was cute. He was cute. What kind of guys do you like, Jules?

Right now, you like none of them. You're not dating anybody who would break their fucking legs. You know what she said in the car ride over here? Yeah. Did you not say this? Did we not talk about it? What? She likes good-looking guys. She doesn't care what race. That's nice. But they also have to be very funny. Right. Well, she lives in a world of humor, so obviously... Yeah, but here's the thing. She then said, they don't even have to be that good-looking, but funny is important. But let me say something. Takes after her auntie. No. Growing up,

I would see chicks that would say, yeah, I just want a funny guy. And then you would meet their boyfriends and they're the most unfunniest dudes you've ever met in your life. Of course, yeah, that's typical. But she knows funny. I think she does, yeah. She gets funny. She's around you all the time. She gets funny. Yeah, I think I annoy the fuck out of her, though. Does Bobby annoy you? No. Yeah, I do. I'll tell you what I annoy. Does Kalilah or Bobby annoy you more? Who gets under your skin more? Bobby. Bobby does, yeah. I do. Why? Why?

I don't know. He doesn't know how to clean after everything he does. Yes, correct. And he leaves dirty plates everywhere. But besides that stuff... Yeah, it's fine. What I do at night is great.

At like 5 in the morning. I'm going to take a bagel, an onion bagel, right? And I'm just going to, you know the onion part? Yeah. And I'm just going to, you know what I mean? Why? Make a fucking mess all over the fucking counter so that she can pick it up. You know what I mean? You do that? Oh, yeah. But why? And then I'll take cream cheese and I'll just put a little bit on the thing, on the table. Because she has to clean it. Yeah. And then it looks like fucking an IED went off.

Right? And she wakes up in the morning and she looks at the kitchen. There's like a pepperoni in the ceiling. You know what I mean? It's a fucking mess. And I know when I'm laying in bed sleeping that she has to fucking clean it. That's nice. Do you know why? Why? Because she doesn't... I don't charge you rent in the house. Do I charge you rent in the house? We're paying her now. Yeah, we're paying you for this. Salary, baby. Big bucks. You can pick a fucking pepperoni or two.

Okay? Yeah. Don't get angry. I'm not. She's not. In fact, she's got a boyfriend if she ever goes to the Netherlands. Yeah.

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from around the globe-age. Let me tell you something, by the way. What? Every time I've met someone from the Netherlands, they always have an extremely keen sense of humor. It's a part of their culture. There's something about it that they get it. Not only that, though, they're also...

Their English is... Better than ours. Not better, but it's very... Well, I mean... I'm sorry. They speak eloquently, but they also get the humor. Yeah, they do. Oh, look at this guy. Who is this now? Oh, it's a Mexican. This is...

He's in Turkey. This is Khan. Hey, Khan. Hey, nice to meet you. Perfect pronunciation. What's up, Red Rocket? Slepking? What's up, buddy? Yeah, what's my name? He just said Slepking. Slepking? Oh, Slepking. Thank you. Oh, I saw it. That just said Red Rocket. Khan, what are you doing in Turkey? What's going on?

Well, it's 2 a.m. I got here a few months ago and I came to visit my grandparents. I flew from L.A. and I guess I got stuck here. Whoa. You flew from... So you're... Are you Hispanic, Khan? No, I'm actually Turkish. I'm a Turkish-American. I was born in America.

So you're a Turkish-American. You go, I'm going to go see my grandma. Wow. And now you're stuck out there? Yep. And when I came back, let me tell you, for about three weeks, I had the worst cough. I could not move. I had a fever. So I think who knows what happened. But when I got here, eight days, I didn't get out of this bed that I'm in now. Wow. So you had eight days.

Dude, eight days you were sick? Eight days. He had it. Yeah, he had it. But how are you guys holding up, man? We're fine. No, we're fine. We're doing this still. We're having fun doing this, but we...

I mean, I don't think people thank you enough for the hours of literally free content that you put out to people, which most people don't get. Very nice. There we go. That's what I like to hear. Thank you. Thank you, dude. You understand us better than anybody else, and we love you for that. So thank you, man. Thank you. And, Con, I have a question for you that I've been asking everyone that we've had on the – Yeah. Yeah. Con, are you a homosexuality? Yeah.

Uh, no, I am not. I do have a lady friend. But let's say you were, let's see, that's fine. Sorry, we were hetero heteros. But, you know, if you were to choose, if you had to choose one of us to fuck, which one would it be? Um, I'll be honest, Bobby, I think you'd be more fun. But, um, Andrew in the looks department, what are we going to do? Are we going to lie here?

Khan! Khan! Khan! Khan! Khan! Khan! Okay, thank you, Khan. All right, Khan, we're going to go. We love you, buddy. Thank you so much. Be safe in Turkey, man. Get home safe. All right, Khan. You're the best, Khan. You know, it's just like, you know. What's wrong? Because I think that, you know, they see the shell of you. Yeah. And I guess, you know, from afar, you are a pretty good-looking guy, I guess. I'm okay. Well, so far you've asked—

Two, three guys. So, and one girl. So that's not a good gauge. Do we have any other women? Let's get another woman on the line. Let's just see. Do we have any other women? Any woman? You're like an old crazy Korean dictator. Yeah, we'll probably get another woman there. Look, they'll get somebody for you. Here we go. But that can't be the root of the conversation. Don't ask her about that. Just, just because. No, I'm going to do it at the end. Yeah, at the very end. I've been doing it at the end.

Because this is Amy Jankanakaly. Hello. Oh, my. Amy Janalake. Janalake. Amy Janalake. Amy Jane Lake. Amy Jane Lake. Amy Jane Lake. Amy, put on your video so we can... There she is. Hi, Amy. There she is. That's Amy Jane Lake. That's Amy Jane Lake. I could fully start crying right now. No. Oh, why? I love you guys so much.

so much we're losers we're absolutely losers no you're not so amy jane lake that's your full name do you go by amy jane lake

We like Amy Jane. Yeah, I was going to be called Amy Jane, but my mom just called me Amy. So I know how bad Bob is at accents and guessing where you're from. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Where are you from, Bob? Wait, I want you to repeat a sentence, and then I'll be able to know. Oh, he doesn't even know it yet. No, no, no, no, no. I don't know yet. He's really bad. Oh, dude. Say this. The boat is around the bend within itself. There it is.

Okay. The boat is around the bend within itself. You're from Australia. No. Come on, Bob. Guess again. It can't be that far off. The boat is around the bend. The boat is around the bend. You're Scottish. Go back to the first guess was close. You're from New Zealand. Yay. Wait for

Australia is fucking so close to New Zealand. You got to give me that. I did. You were there, but you were a different country. But I understand that. I understand that. But it's like if you were going to play this game with like North America and I said, you're Canadian. And somebody said, no, I'm from Chicago. You would have to maybe give them that. No, because that's a totally different country. I'd go. That's Canada. This is the United States. If somebody said if somebody insulted, it happens all the time. She happens all the time. See, she's fine. She loves it. All right.

I love New Zealand. My God. I love you. What a beautiful country. The hills, the green hills. Amy Jane Lake, what time of the day is it there?

It is 11 in the morning. 11. I love that. I love how you say 11 in the morning. 11. We got voted sexiest accent in the whole world. Sexiest accent. Really? Sexiest in the world? It's horrendous. No, it's not horrendous. No, I love your accent. It's the words. No, it's an awesome. No, we fucking love it. It's a great accent. So tell me, this is the end, this never ending debate. Do you, do you, are you born and raised in New Zealand? Yeah. So do you hate Aussies or you don't really care?

It's more sports-wise, yes. Yeah, yeah, of course. When it comes to rugby, that's like... Of course. You don't sort of fuck with that. Yeah. I love Australians. Do you, though? It's... No, see? Look at that. You can feel it. They don't like each other. There's a little bit... It's like us and Mexicans. Yeah, same. It's more so them, though, because they're the sort of bigger...

meanies. It's like, we're the Canada to your... Right. They're bullies a little bit. They're bullies. We're kind of nicer. No offense. Yeah. No, no, I get that. Are you guys... Is New Zealand the All Blacks? Is that your... Is it the All Blacks, right? And are they much better? They're the best, right? They're one of the best in the world. Yeah, they're the best. And we can say that because it's like factual. A fact. Yeah, it's a fact. Do you know who Adesanya is? He's a UFC fighter. He's a champion. Israel Adesanya. Adesanya. Do you know who that is?

Oh, he's a UFC, I think. Is he from New Zealand? Middleweight champ. He's very talented. Yeah. Is he from New Zealand? Well, yeah. He happens to be... I think he was born in Nigeria, but he grew up in New Zealand. Do you know Sonny Bill Williams? Sonny Bill Williams! Oh, my God. He's a great painter. Abstract painting. Oh, wow.

right no he does great he's great no no what does he do he's a boxer he's a boxer he's a boxer but he's also an all-black oh is he really he's what he's what he's what he's an all-black so he's a rugby player he's an all-around sports could i would ask you this this is a very i'm very curious about this are there is there like a korea town or you know are there asian are there asians in new zealand

Yes. There's a lot of Asians in Auckland. In Auckland, right? What kind are there? Are they Chinese? She doesn't know. How far are you from Auckland? Where are you location-wise? I mean, I'm in Napier right now, but I'm from Wellington, which is the capital. I know Wellington. So it's two islands. Yeah. It's the smaller North Island and the bigger South Island, but you can just sort of... The South Island doesn't really have much there. Yeah.

But Wellington is the bottom of the North Island and Auckland's right at the top. Auckland used to be the capital, but now it's Wellington. So if I was in Wellington, let's say Bobby Lee was in Wellington, would I feel self-conscious? Would I feel self-conscious there? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, absolutely not. Hello, look at that weird one. No. Hello, look at that weird one. We would love you. No, they would love you. They would? We would love you.

I'd love to have you guys. We've been asking this question to... Bobby's been asking this question. I haven't been asking it. He has. Go ahead. I haven't asked once. You've asked every time. Yeah, but can I ask? Sure. I'm really talking to you guys. I know you are. So do you have a boyfriend? No. Okay. So are you straight? You're in the middle. Yeah. Okay. I don't really care. You don't really care. Okay. So if Andrew and I were both single, which one would you prefer to go out with?

Bob. He's done this to everybody we've asked, every international call. See, I have an answer. I have an answer. I started watching all you guys via Tiger Belly. Yeah. And so from the get-go, I've seen Bobby and Kalilah, and they are just the most beautiful. Love them. And so it's not even in my head. It's not in their head. I think you're both attractive. Because she's...

She went around it in a way that was not hurtful. She's very caught. Yeah. What a kind person. My relationship isn't on camera. She sees your wife. She sees your wife. He's married too though. But she doesn't see her every day. I got angry. My bad. She's, I got angry and I snapped. I'm so sorry. That's my bad. She sees your wife every day. She's not my fucking wife.

Tell Amy Jane Lake that. She is my lady. I know. I never said she was your wife. I know you didn't, but okay. All right, so. I'm pitting you guys against each other. That's fine. You know what? That was a very nice way and a gentle way. I swear on my life. I understand what you're doing. I understand what it is, and I appreciate it. That's all I'm saying. You asked me a question, and you want me to be honest, so I'm going to be honest. Look at that. There you go. Okay. That was very nice. I don't lie. She doesn't lie.

She doesn't lie. I don't lie. So what you're saying is because that you started watching our podcast via Tiger Belly and you know and Kalilah and I I'm invested in your relationship. Yeah, she's invested in that relationship. That's a big deal. And so the thought of you two not being together is very sad to me. Okay, okay. That's fine. And thank you so much for being honest. That's all. That's all.

Amy, what do you do during the day for work? Are you working right now or what are you doing? Not right now. I work in a cafe, but obviously. Just as like a server or what do you like? Yeah, just working on the till, preparing food. I love the word till. Let me see if Bob knows what till is. You know what a till is? Yeah, I know what a till is. What is it? It's the, you know, when you're serving, right? There's that countertop where the food goes on, right? And the till is the heating obstruction on.

No

Well, let me give you another shot. Give me another shot. Yeah, I'll give you one more. The till is in a coffee shop, in an espresso machine. Yes. There is that little module. Espresso. Espresso machine, right? And then the till is the little contraption where the little holes are so that the coffee seeps through, but it leaves the... What do you know, Amy Jane? Do you guys call it a till, Ben? No, it's a cash register. It's the register. The till is a register.

Attila's work. She just does the rest. Where the money is. That was my third guess. That was my third guess, Katie.

Your first guess was a fucking heating mechanism. You're working the till at the cafe. I thought you were on to it when you said the countertop. I knew. I'm sweating. I don't know why. I knew he was off. Amy, thank you so much for watching the show and for showing us love. You're the fucking best. Thank you so much. I love you. You're the best, Amy. We'll hope to see you when we come down to New Zealand. Hallelujah.

We're doing a tour. We're going to do a tour next year. Come to Wellington. Fuck off, Auckland. Bye, Amy. I love you guys. She's so sweet. That's awesome. She had...

the best accent like of all the new zealand ones i don't you know there's different ones but i like that one the most because it's like when she said that when you made her say that phrase that made no sense what was it i don't remember go to the boat around the bean the way she said bean so it can go in itself i don't know why but it can go around the bean i love the word bean i shouldn't ask you know what i'm not gonna ask that question again yeah why even why do it

Because I just want to be able to find somebody that's going to truly think that I'm better looking and more sexy. Sexiness is a different thing than, first of all, looks are subjective. I don't know why I'm so self-conscious today. Why are you? I don't know. Has something happened this morning? What time did you go to bed last night?

I went to bed really late and I woke up really early. I don't know why. I just – I didn't sleep good and I just – I have nothing to do right now. I know. I was obsessed with this game and it was – I finished it and now I don't know what else to play. I don't know what else to do. Oh, Bob. Yeah. Anyway, let's get out of the call. This is Walter Corsi.

If we, if, if he ever connects, Walter Corsi is going to be the guy that they bring up there. Oh yeah. Hey, hi. Start your video Walter. So we can see what you look like. We want to see your beautiful face. Yeah. So I sent an email asking if you would rather have a good audio or my face, but I didn't have a return. So I choose audio. Let me tell you something. We're going to just have our animators make a face for you. So that's fine. Walter, where, where are you in the world?

I'm Brazil, Sao Paulo. Sao Paulo. I literally thought he was a vampire. I literally thought he was from Transylvania. Like, I was like scared. He's like, I just got out of my casket five minutes ago. Wait a minute. You don't sound, you don't, are you born and raised in Sao Paulo? Yeah, yeah. Wow. How tall are you? Let me guess. Let me guess. Hold on. Let me guess. Based on your voice. Yeah, his voice sounds like six four. You're past six feet.

I'm about 5'9", 6'6". Okay, we're wrong. 5'9", 6'6". Yeah, so we're in there. He's like, I'm anywhere from 185 to 700 pounds. Based on your voice as well, I feel like you have really strong legs. Yeah, do you have thick legs, Walter? Yeah, thick legs. Big belly. I was going to say big belly. Okay, so how much do you weigh? We're trying to get a mental image of what you look like.

Can I talk in kilos? Yeah, we'll do the conversion. Yeah, we don't really know how to do that. Yeah, about 120 kilos. Wow. KG to LBS. So how much do you think that is? Say the number again? 120. Walter, you also seem like... How much do you think that is in pounds? Just so you can guess. Well, if he's 5'10", he has a big belly, then I'm going to say he's...

185 pounds. It's 120 kilos. He's 185 pounds. 264 pounds. Oh, shit. Yeah, he's a big, strong guy. He's a big Walter Corsi. Big, strong boy. Walter Corsi, I feel like you have a chipped tooth. You can't tell by your accent, but you have... It's at the front left. In the front left, do you have a chipped tooth?

No, not cheap, but slightly crooked. Slightly crooked! That's what I meant! That's what I meant! Slightly crooked, yeah. So, Walter, can I ask you some questions about soccer? I'm not very fan of soccer, but... Okay, let me ask you about mixed martial arts. Do you know about that? A bit, yeah. I used to practice. Oh, you used to practice. Okay. So, who do you think is more talented?

Vanderlei Silva or Jose Aldo? It's different weights, right? But I like Jose Aldo more. I think his fight is more...

His fight is better. You know, Jose Aldo, let me say about Jose Aldo. He was a champion for over a decade, right? He never lost. And his fight with Conor McGregor was bullshit. They should have gave him a rematch. Don't you think, Walter? Yeah, yeah. Totally. But were you devastated when Conor beat him?

I wasn't, but devastated is a strong word, right? There's another stick going on. His life still carries on. Walter, what do you do during the day? Do you have a job? Yeah, kind of. My company is closed right now because of the COVID. But I'm a designer, a product designer, and I study digital design. Digital design.

Digital design. What would you design? Can you tell me what you would design? I design... On my job, I design, like, purses and bags. Purses and bags. Purses and bags. Do you design... Have you ever designed for anybody that we know? Like, anybody famous or something that we've seen? Do you know...

I don't think you know, but it's just mostly Brazilian stuff. Do you know the muffin man? Wait, wait. Brazilian stuff? Give us some Brazilian stuff. Maybe we've heard of it. Like Brahma, you know, the beer? Yeah? Yeah. I did some cases for them a while back. I like it. Walter, are you single? Yeah, unfortunately. Are you straight or are you gay? Gay.

Three. Okay. If you were gay, would you rather hook up with Bobby or with me? You know us. You've seen us. You're fans of the show. Would you rather hook up with Bobby or me if you were gay? We know you're not gay, but if you were?

If I were gay, I'd like both at the same time, you know. Wow. Great answer. Both at the same time. Great answer. Walter, we thank you for being a bad friend. And honestly, dude, take care and be safe in Brazil. And maybe when me and Bobby do an international tour, we'll come to Sao Paulo and you can show us around, yeah?

Please, please come. All right, Walter. Much love, brother. Bye, bud. Thank you, dude. Thank you. All right, bye. Love you guys. Dude, honestly, love around the world, doesn't that feel good? Honestly, during a shitty time and knowing that I know you're bummed lately because you're kind of bored and sad and shit and it's a bummer, doesn't that feel fucking nice to know people around the world are still having fun with us? People around the fucking world. Here's what I...

It's confusing because I don't know why they like it. What do you mean? They're having fun. I understand. But still, it's like I can't look at my own shit and go, oh, that's the shit. I just do it. I know. We're having a good time. I know. And I have a good time with you. So it's you and I'm with somewhat of a friend together in a room like this. And we're talking. You're talking about Tiger Belly? You. Somewhat of a friend? You're a friend. Wow. You're a friend, I meant. You're not my friend.

Yeah, we are. We're best of friends. No, it's fine. I was making a joke about it. No, yeah, yeah. Ha ha. I get it. But it's hurt my feelings. Okay. Oh, you don't think that fucking listening to fucking six people from all around the world. Yeah. Saying that they'd rather fuck you than me. Doesn't that you think that that feels good? Is it too hot? It's hot in the room right now. But my point is, is that I'm saying, is it too hot? I don't find you hot. Then get out of the kitchen because daddy's on fire. That's true. You are on fire. Okay. Okay.

No, it's not a competition. You feel good? You made it a competition. I fucked up by even asking the question, but I was like, you know what? I got to find one. I don't think I found one. Yeah, you did. Yeah, the two fucking gay Netherlands boys. That's fun. That's fun. They're fun. I love those boys, by the way. They speak good English. You guys are cute. Yeah, Yoel and John. We know them well. Listen. Oh.

Uh-oh. Oh, there he is. Oh, this is my guy, Oscar. That's my guy right there. Look at that. Look at those lips. Oscar. Start your video, Oscar. It's like a vagina. Yeah. There he is. Oh, shit. He's different. What's up, guys? What's up, man? Well, no, because his hair was pulled back in the other one. Oh, it was? My bad. Yeah. Pull your hair back, Oscar. Pull it back tight like you do when it's in ponytail mode. Yeah. This is my guy, Oscar, bro. Oh, is that Gwyneth Paltrow or what? Yeah. Woo.

Sexy boy. He's a cutie. Thanks, thanks. Oskar, you're from Sweden? Yeah, that's right. Sweden. Sweden. Swedish fish. Sweden, they're doing no quarantine. No, it doesn't exist. They're hanging out, right? No, they're doing some quarantine. Are you really? I thought you guys were allowed to be out just fucking kicking it. Yeah, I've been looking at the photos online. Yeah, we're outside, but there's some like, everyone's agreeing like we're having quarantine. Yeah.

He really put his hair up really good for me. No, no, we're joking around with you, man. It looks great. How old are you, buddy? 24. Oh. I like that Guns N' Roses shirt. That's fucking great, man. What do you do for a living, Oscar? Right now, I'm teaching English. Oh, you're teaching English. I like it. What's going on with your earpiece, bud?

He had to take it out. Yeah. Oscar, how many languages can you speak? Just English and Swedish. Some Japanese. Japanese is hard. Let me ask you something because I know I love Swedish dudes. Let the right one in. Is that a Swedish movie?

Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love your vampires. But my point is that since you know some Japanese, are you privy to the Asian snatch? You like Asian women or what, bro? Yeah, for sure, for sure. You do? Yeah, yeah. And Asian men. And Asian men, too. And Asian men as well. Oh, that's uncomfortable. I think Asians are the best people. We are. We have soft. We're soft.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. They're easy to manipulate physically and mentally. You can kind of do what you want with them. Right? Across the board. Yeah, yeah. Like Play-Doh. Or like human Play-Doh. Like human Play-Doh. Right. He looks like... I don't know much about him, but he looks like that he has a nice body. Like he works out a lot. He does work out a lot. Like a bodybuilder. Are you a bodybuilder? He is. Yeah, you do work out, right? Yeah, he does. No...

I do work out every day, though. I do work out every day. Will you flex for us? Let's see. Can we see a little muscle? Let's see your bicep. Put your bicep up there. Just fucking put your bicep up there, brah. All right, let's see. Here we go, bro. Yeah. Here we go. Oh, yeah.

See, that's what I'm saying. Look at that shit. Jacked. Yeah, baby. Let me ask you this because I love Swedish rock bands. Is there a band that you can suggest to me? Because I love music from you. You guys are really good. You have really good bands. Yeah, they do. I'm not sure you would like the Swedish rock bands, to be honest. Why? How do you know that? Bobby likes foreign shit. I like foreign music. Bobby likes foreign shits a lot.

Yeah, but I think my taste is pretty similar to your Bobby, I think. I'm not sure. I don't know any Swedish rock band that you might like. How do you know that you and I have the same... we have similarities?

Yeah, well, because I listened to you on DVD ASA. Then a few weeks later, Calamity Cave was out for like two episodes. And like two weeks after that, first episode of Tiger Belly. And I've just been listening. Oh my God. So you've been a fan since the DVD ASA days. Wow. Yeah. Early days. How much do you hate David Cho? David Cho? Yeah.

He's a weird piece of shit. He's a piece of garbage, is he not? Yeah. He's like a gigantic yellow piece of shit. You know what I mean? Like if the sun could shit, it would look like David Cho. Just yellow piece of shit. If you ever need physical protection, this fucking guy can do it. He's down to kill. Would you kill somebody for Bobby? If Bobby asked you to kill David Cho, would you kill him?

Oh, fuck, probably. I knew it. That's awesome. I knew it. God, the Swedish are fucking awesome. So this is a good question to ask this guy then maybe. Sure. So you got a girlfriend, my friend? No, not right now. Not right now. So if you were to choose, Andrew and I, right, if you were gay, who would you fuck? Who would you prefer to fuck, me or Andrew?

Me fucking or me getting fucked? Oh shit, that's a very good question. Very good question. You fucking. You fucking. You fucking.

Andrew, how much body hair do you have? Almost none, actually. I'm not hairy at all. Just answer the fucking question. Yeah, but let me think. I mean, I don't like hair. I think Andrew might have a nice ass. Yeah. Like, nice fucking ass. But Bobby seems more, like, feminine, and he has more curves. And I probably want to hold his breasts, I think. I think...

I'm pretty sure she'll see Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah. I won. You got one. I don't give a fuck what you said. I won that. You have a full more feminine. He wants to hold your tits. I love this. This is. Oh, it hurts so bad. I got to get out of here. Dude, Oscar. Holy shit, Oscar. Dude, Oscar, you're the fucking best. You're a funny guy. We love you.

Oscar, thank you, dude. Oscar, we might even have you back. We might have you back, Oscar. Get his information. We're getting his information. All right, Oscar, thanks for being a bad friend. We'll talk to you soon, buddy. Bye, dude. Bye-bye. Take care. Stay safe. You too, man. Stay safe. Love Oscar. I told you. I said to George, I go, I like Oscar. When he sent me the breakdowns of everyone, I go, that guy's going to be fucking great. He was an incredible guy. Yeah, yeah. Did you think Oscar was cute? Stop it. He's way too old for her. Did you think he was cute? No, she's 18.

No, but still, she's a kid in my head. I know she is, but do you think he was cute? Yeah, he's cute. Would you go out with him? I don't know. Would you go out with him? Yeah, you would. There you go. You know what, Jules? I know a lot of times I tell her when we're in the house, we got to go see Andrew now. And she doesn't roll her eyes. She rolls her eyes. She doesn't want to go. Why? She likes you like me. I'm nice to you. I want to tell her that this is good for you.

She doesn't like going? She doesn't like talking. You know, she's a shy girl, but I think that... It's not because of me. You like me. You get along with me, see? Do you like Andrew? Yeah, okay. I'm so nice to Rudy. You are very nice to Rudy. I love... Who's next? Who's next there? Another European peep peep. Is this another hot guy? Look at him.

How many fucking hot guys are they going to throw us? Oh, cute. Look at his background. Look at his background. Look at his background. What team is that? That's Liverpool. No. You know that too well, Bobby. Yeah. That's Liverpool, fucker. So are you a Liverpool fan? Yeah, massive Liverpool fan. Wow. You know what? You'd be nothing without Jurgen Klopp though, right? Yeah, true. Because I remember Kenny Dalglish. He didn't do good for you, right, Kenny? No.

Well, I signed as Suarez, but besides that, we didn't win anything. Oh, you did sign as Suarez. You guys are fucking... I know you don't know much about soccer, but let me say something right now, all right? Yeah. Liverpool is like the Chicago Bulls back in the day. Yeah. They literally are the all-star go-to fucking team right now. Right now. Right now they are. You guys were going to win the league this year, but coronavirus fucked it up. Hopefully that COVID... Where are you from? Ross, where do you live? Liverpool.

Uh, South Africa. Pretoria. Yeah, see, I could tell by his accent. He didn't live in fucking England. South Africa. Oh, you're from South Africa. Do I have an accent? No, I don't sound like that. Bullshit. Yeah, wait. Not to fuck. Say bullshit again. Say bullshit. Bullshit. Yeah, he's trying, trying very hard. Yeah, because they say bullshit. Bullshit. You know, I've been... I didn't fucking say that. Don't fucking talk to him like that, man.

you South African fuck you don't talk to him like that Ross Ross Ross you better fucking reel it in relax alright so where are you from Durban or Cape Town where are you from Pretoria what Pretoria oh I've been there you know I did yeah yeah do you know that

I've been to South Africa. Yeah, you said you still travel nowhere. Yeah, it's fucking gorgeous. You've been there? No. You know, I've never been to Africa in general. Why? But I won't go. Racist. Yeah, I'm racist. Says the guy that lives in the most fucking racist part of Africa. They're not anymore. What do you mean they're not anymore? Apartheid was like eight months ago.

It just ended for these fucking guys. How about this? No, we won't talk about that. Why did you imprison Nelson Mandela? You didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't born. Well, Ross, tell me this though. This is a real question. Do you come from a significant amount of money? Are you a rich kid? Be honest and it's okay if you are. Come on. You got good money. In South Africa, yes. Significant. In

But yeah, normal. I'm privileged for sure. Yeah, you are. But see, down there, Africa has never been on my meter to go to. But I will say this. If I was going to go, I would go to South Africa. And you know why, right? Why? Because of the whites? Yeah. I don't want to be around all those black people. No, of course not. You know, when I went to South Africa, they told me that

Asians are third-class citizens. Same everywhere. Almost everywhere. Here, too. Fuck you. Yeah, yeah. America as well. Yeah, is America your third class here? We're not. Yeah, you are. The Chinese are buying all the property. We're killing it. I know, but as people in public, we don't like you. We don't like you. We don't treat you the same.

That's not true. Yeah, it is. I feel it. I do feel it when I'm out there. Shut up. Yeah, you're right. We're fucked, Jules. Are we third class citizens in South Africa? No. No. No. We're rainbow nation. Rainbow nation down there, baby. Ross, what do you do for a living? What do you do for money?

I'm an auditor. I'm studying my articles. So I'm busy finishing my articles at BWC. Ross, let's say this. We love you. We appreciate you being fans. Bobby has a little hatred for you because of Liverpool, but he still likes you. He's a little sour. What team do I like? Do you know that? Oh, he knows.

It's so obvious. Everybody fucking knows you like Arsenal. You're a loser. You can see it in your face. Massive loser. Oh, shit. You know what? You're feisty, huh? You're a feisty little white one-on. Ross likes to bite. He likes to bite. Don't ever talk to Andrew like that again, okay? Like you did before. Look at that. Don't make Papa mad. He's white. That's right. He's white. Ross, thank you, brother. You're a cutie, Ross. We like you a lot. Talk to you soon. Bye, dude.

She's going to like him a lot. He's great. He's feisty. He's confident. He's a feisty little racist. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

I knew he was rich. They're all rich down there. All the whites are rich. Right. It is. It's like a fancy rich country, right? Yeah, like if he was like a prison guard for Nelson Mandela, he seems like the type of guy that would like, when you give him lunch, he'd go, not today. You know what I mean? Where Nelson's like little black hands are going through the little opening. Nelson's like, nah. Nelson goes, thank you. And he just starts eating it in front of him.

Alright, who else? George, bring him in. Just keep shooting him through. Ooh, okay. Okay, oh shit. Who's this? Chotri from Quispom. Hey, Bobby. Can we see your face, Chotri? Play me in FIFA. I will play you, but let me see your face first, you fuck. Oh, wow. Chotri. There he is. You play with Arsenal, I'll play with the one-star team. Oh, shit! This guy's coming in with guns blazing, huh? Where are you from, dude? Where are you coming from?

I'm from Quispam, Canada. Quispam in Canada? Wait, what province? It's in New Brunswick. Okay, yeah, over there. Okay, Chotri, let me say something. So what you're saying to me is that if you want, what do you have, a PlayStation or an Xbox? PlayStation. I have a PlayStation as well. That's very good. Okay. All right, so you play FIFA online as well? Yeah. All right, so did you befriend me on my PlayStation yet? No. All right, so are you under Chotri? No.

My real name is Jordy, not Jotri. Okay, Jordy. So, Jordy, what you're telling me is that if I play with, like, Real or Barcelona and you played with, like, some MLS team, that you would still beat me? 100%. Holy shit, this guy's cocky. Oh, my God, there's fucking all kinds of mad shit right now. It's boggling my mind. Who's the worst MLS team? I would probably, I don't know, probably Houston. I don't know. Okay, so you play Houston. You be as Houston then. Right, and I'll play, like, Man City or something.

Yeah. And you could be – Even Arsenal. No, I don't want to play with Arsenal. Why not? No. Will you lose to an MLS team? I just – because he – it's a bold thing he's saying. You're saying if he's as good as he says he is. He's coming in with like – you know what I mean? Yeah. With all the good gear, right? Like in Deadwood or something. I mean he's the guy that comes in with all the –

All the guns, the straps, the fucking bullets. Two horses. Yeah, and everyone stopped. You know how people are doing stuff in the bar? They stop playing, and they all look through the door? That's that guy. Well, he looks like a fucking Arabian prince. He's got this very... I don't know. I know almost nothing about this guy. Are you Palestinian? Where are you, bro? I'm from Israel. Oh, shit. I just said the worst thing to him. Yeah, you did. I just said the worst thing. You're from Israel, correct?

Yeah, I've been to Israel as well. Beautiful country. All right, listen, you guys are going to play each other, all right? Seriously. So follow me. We'll play maybe tonight or tomorrow. But I want you to, can you record it on Twitter? Can you fucking stream it? We'll record it. We'll stream it. Yeah, I want you to stream and record it because you're talking mad shit, and if you get your ass whooped, we're playing it on the podcast next week. All right. We'll Twitch it. All right. Fuck yeah. He's cute too. How cute is he? Well, he's laying so sexy with his arm up like he's doing that you want to fuck vibe. Ask him the question then. Go ahead. You go ahead.

Bobby's been asking all our international friends if they were gay. I don't know if you're gay or not, but if you were, would you fuck me or Bobby? Probably Bobby. All right, there's one. Thank you so much, dude. Just because he'll need some support after I... You don't have to add to it. You don't have to add to it. Just say that you want to fuck me. This confidence is riveting. All right, thank you, brother. We appreciate you. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye, man. Love you guys. Honestly, if he beats you, it's going to be fucking awesome. I know, but...

Honestly. Yeah, he was a cutie patootie. All right, to line up the next one. Will you record it so we can see it? I'll try to figure out a way. But he's probably really good. Because he was so cocky, huh? Yeah, it's a difficult game, especially FIFA 20. It's very difficult. Look, I played FIFA and it's hard. I don't like it. It's a hard game to be good at. Hello? Okay. Uh-oh. Who is this? This is Connor. Hello, Connor. Is that your name, Connor? Yeah, Connor. Where are you from, Connor?

Manchester, England. Let me ask you, are you a City fan or United? No, I'm a Chelsea fan actually. Chelsea? Wow, that's fucking... Why? How did that work out? When I was little, my dad took me to a sports shop

where you can buy all the kits and then he supports leeds and leeds hate united and city so i ended up choosing chelsea oh that's cool why do we got all these really cute guys you have the best eyebrows in the fucking business man are you a kardashian rudy rudy looks at the cat rudy looks at the at the monitor and goes like this yeah yeah look at we uh how old are you uh how old are you connor

I'm 19. 19. No. Jules, no. Jules, look at this guy. No. This is perfect for you. Look at this guy. Are you single? Yeah. All right. Rudy, look at this one. You can't do better than this one. Well, when we tour England, we got to take you. Yeah, when we tour England, you got to come with us, okay? You're going to meet Connor. Connor, do you have money? Do you come from – Yeah, I want to meet you guys. Are your parents rich, Connor?

No. Okay, never mind, Rude. Yeah, we can't do that. We're not going to put up with the poor guy. No, I'm kidding. Are you in university? What are you doing right now? What do you do? What's your gig? Are you in school or no? Yeah, I'm doing graphic design at university, but I'm trying to be an artist. Oh, yeah. Oh, cool, man. Why did you stand up, walk around, and then sit back down? That was a little weird. I don't know, man. I'm nervous. You're a little nervous. Why are you nervous? Don't.

don't be nervous one of my heroes man which one's your hero Bobby you're his hero Bobby he loves you oh shit Bobby I wanna be like you I wanna have confidence like you man oh shit little do you know he's the most unconfident person I know I'm about to fucking fuck him up already no but you know what he's a great hero to have cause he's a wonderful fucking dude

He's got a great heart. He's got a great soul. There are other heroes like Superman. But anyway, we'll talk about that later. Superman's not real. Yeah, he's not real. You're a real guy. Yeah, that's true. And you're real to this fucking dude. Thanks, man. I love you, Connor. Thanks for saying that. Oh, we froze him. He froze up. Oh, why did he freeze? Oh, no, Connor. Oh, no, Connor. You know why? Because he's fucking moving around too much, this guy. He's stand up and sat down like 30 times. Connor, what happened to you, baby boy? Oh, there we got you. We lost you for a second, Con. You got to sit in one place.

I'm back, I'm back, I'm back. Yeah, the British internet, the queen tethers the internet over there. Nobody gets to be on the internet too long. Yeah. Hey, so if you were gay and you had to have sex with one of us, who would it be? Me or Bob? Who are you going to have sex with?

definitely see look at that I got another one now you ask and you shall receive I got the fucking hairy face guy from Canada and you got the cute guy from England and I got the cute guy from England two for two two for two does it hurt a little bit not even a little bit a little bit nah it should do no yeah it should hurt a little bit not only oh that's a cute one no it doesn't matter

Because we're not gay. Well, it's still four to two. You know what I mean? Still four to two. All right, brother. Hey, Connor. Good talking to you, man. Thank you so much, Connor. I love you, man. Thanks for listening. And dude, I'll see you one day in real life. Okay, buddy? Yeah, definitely. I'll be on your podcast one day. Yeah, you will. I love you, buddy. All right, dude. Good dude. Very nice dude. You're his hero, dude. Doesn't that feel good? You know what it is? You know, it's... You think you're doing this stuff under the radar or in a vacuum. What?

What do you mean I'm doing it on my own? No, I feel like when I do podcasting, I feel like no one's really listening. You just do it from your home or whatever. And it's really nice to see people from around the... Yeah, I said the exact same thing. I said it's amazing. Before this, when you got depressed, I said, isn't it so nice to know that all these people... Yeah, but I had to come to that conclusion on my own, and I just did. Well, I'm glad you did. Yeah, so it feels nice that...

There are people that get what you do and they're supportive. And I really, that felt good. Thank you. It should feel good. That kid actually said you were his hero. And I've actually, you could tell he really did love you. I know. He got really nervous around me. You know, sometimes, I have to be honest, sometimes, you know, when I go on the road, sometimes people cry. When they meet you? Yeah. Yeah. I've had that a few times.

Really? Yeah. How do you feel when that happens? I say, cut it out, piece of shit. I do too. I go, give me a hug. No. No, when people cry, it's usually a girl that cries and they're excited. Yeah, yeah. And I give them a big hug. Yeah. Yeah, I give them a big hug and I comfort them. I mean, I don't go to the hotel room and go, yeah. I go, you're a piece of shit still, you know, but I do. Like, it always goes back to like...

my insecurities and my poor self-image. But for those brief moments when people react that way, I don't know what to do, but it does feel, I guess, cool that some people appreciate it. No, honestly, it does touch me in a wonderful way. People do some really loving stuff. I'm glad we were able to link up with some international people. It's cool to know that people around the world are listening. That's wild. Around the globes. Yeah.

You were touched by that international stuff. I can tell that that really hit you in a good way. You know, made you feel good. I was really touched by it. And, you know, I'm touched by you, man. I'm really touched by you because I'll tell you this. You know, when I first met you, I didn't think there was much. And I honestly, you know, during this quarantine, you have to say the person I've seen the most aside from the people I live with is you. Yeah. And, you know, we talk about you in the house sometimes.

Okay, what do you say? And we... And Kalilah and I will look at each other and go, deep down inside, he's a real straight-up good guy.

Not deep down. He's not even say deep down. He is not. I don't want to say deep down on the surface as well. Yeah, I'm a sweet. Yeah, you're a really sweet guy. You have, you know, there's a part of you. You know how in the other day, you know, all those people went into the Michigan Congress, you know, the with the guns and, you know, you have that white kind of rage as well. It's not white. It's just rage. You have this white rage. Don't make it a race thing. You have a rage that happens to be a certain color.

It's red. If anything, it's orange. All right, but you have this like, you know, entitled. I have this. Entitled is wrong. I have anger issues. I have anger issues. There's nothing to be angry about. Mm-hmm. You're on top of the world. I'm right next to it. No, you're on a TV show. Who else is on a TV show? You. What TV show? Oh, yeah. Can I promote my show? Plug your show. All right, so. You don't even know that you're on. You didn't even say you're on a show. You're on a show. Well, it's not. Okay, so here's the deal. Yeah. Here's the deal.

The deal is this, that in August, I know people are tired of me saying this, but I have to reiterate it. My dad died. I relapsed after 17 years of sobriety, and then all of a sudden I was on a game show. That's September. All right? And it comes out. Here it is. Game On. It's called Game On. It's called Game On. Featuring Keegan-Michael Key, Bobby Lee. Keegan-Michael Key, Gronkowski, Ian Carmel.

And me. And if you're watching the show and you go, wow, Bobby's a little off, it's because I'm a little high and I'm also mourning for my dad. And it was a really – Juliana came to see a couple of the shows. They were really weird. So I believe in the show. I love the talent and all the people behind it, right? Yeah.

It comes out May 20th, but watch it with a certain perspective when it comes to me. I don't, you know, whatever. It is what it is. Is it good? You know, I don't really remember it that much, but I remember going, wow, I'm doing it with credible people. Gronk.

Yeah, but it's also James Corden's the boss. You know, we talk about the great Ben Winston. Yeah, Ben. Ben is one of the nicest guys. He's a great producer. He's James Corden's producing partner. Not only that, though. He's just a handsome, talented, nice guy that I love. Julian has met him as well. Well, watch that show when it comes out what? What?

Fuck you. You know you promoted Davey or whatever that piece of shit that you're on. The piece of shit? I mean the good show that you're on on FX. The piece of shit show I'm on? The show that's the highest rated fucking FX show since Atlanta? You're promoting a game show. Slow down, okay? Slow the fuck down. Who wants to be a millionaire? Okay? Relax. It's a game show. Okay? Cool it.

cool it out I said it wrong the way you came at me was just mean I was being defensive because you were coming at me I didn't say anything I just said when does it come out let's watch it tell people it's your tone man but okay thank you and Davey's a great show my bad it's just Dave what night is Davey on it's over it's over

It was good to connect. No, no. Honestly, it's nice that you got that little heartfelt moment about realizing that people around the world love you. They love you. I feel better about it. You're a hero to a lot of people. Oh, that's nice. No, I'm serious. You are. I think you are. I am too. Thank you for being a bad friend.