Wade Is Sopping
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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Boo'd Bob the Italian Stallion invents canonic cannons, confronts Alexa, and asks his brethren to propound their preferences. Wawa Wade plugs Sodo, makes it moist, but loves it thick, caged, leashed, and shaven. Mazaran Mark consumes a McTriple, hates on Horrendous Houdini, but wants it creamy.

From Mr. Beast to stuffed wallets. Yes! It's time for Wade is Sopping. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the world's favorite podcast. This is Distractible. I'm your host for today. My name is Bob. I am the host because I won the last one. And just like in every episode, I, the host, will be hosting and my two other friends, co-hosts, competitors will be trying to see who earns the right to host the next episode that comes after this one. If there is one, which there will be.

Because there always is. Anyway, my two friends, Mark and Wade. Say hi, guys. Boo! Hi. Boo! Are you booing both of you or just Wade? I'm booing everything in the general vicinity. Oh, okay. You've never seen the show before. That's how it works. I'm the host. I give out points, which I have to write down on paper, which I have in this book, which I will write in.

And then they don't matter and they're all bullshit. But the winner is very important and carefully calculated. But before we get into the idea that I have for the episode today, Smalltalk, how's it going? Oh, can I just say two words, one syllable? No, two syllables, one word. Soto. What? Soto. Soto.

so dough i think he's cursing us an italian place down in cincinnati the restaurant it's so good oh yeah wait i almost went there once oh man you gotta go it's so hooked it's like they like make fresh pasta or they make their pasta in house so does olive garden what that no they do no they don't i don't know man the cascio e pepe the capolacci oh

Cappalachie? Cappalachie? Catchy-o-e-peepy! You guys want some Cappalachies? I'm one-third Sicilian. Catch your pee-pee, the Cappalachie, the Bisteka. I'm sorry, what? That's just literally steak, but it's so good. That's what Mr. Beast did when he released Lunchly. He made a Bisteka. Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Out here firing shots. See, I was making a joke and just molded into a better one. Molded into a better one. No respect for other YouTubers here. They just go after each other all the time. That's right. We're starting...

With who? Mr. Beast? Oh, why would you disparage him? Oh, disparage. I was like, why would you just marriage him? I was like, what? That's right, Mr. Beast and I are going steady. By that, I mean we stripped straight to marriage.

Hey Bob, I'm great man. So there's good food. Italian Va, very good, tasty. Did you have some wine with your food or you feel- I did have some wine. I had a couple of glasses, not gonna lie. It was good. I had some Moscato d'Asti, d'Asti.

I'm not Italian. I'm Ohioan, so pardon my English. I'm one-third Ohioan. We speak our own special language. It's very good, though. If you ever find yourself in Cincinnati and you book a reservation two or three months in advance, very delicious. Pricey.

But good. We had six people. We ordered nine pastas, ate them all. We had three of the bread appetizers. We had the steak. Very expensive, too. And then we had three desserts that we split. God dang. The donuts. They have a donut dessert. Three dipping sauce. Oh, my God. The caramel and chocolate.

You know, donuts are the very Italian dessert. These are Italian because they're served at Soto. Sovereign territory of Italy. Were they called donuts or were they called like, what's it? Isn't it Zeppoli? Isn't that like Italian donuts? It's like deep fried. I think they were called ricotta donuts. I see. I see.

I see. And never a more American thing has been said on this podcast. But it's so good. Don't let me ruin it for you. Somehow you did. I never want to go to Soto. I want one of those beef stankas and some Italian donuts. Chip chop.

You guys serve lunchly here? You got any of that Moscato de Asti? Anyway, no, that sounds fun. That's good dinner. That's definitely a place I hope Mandy and I get to go at some point here. That's nice. Only downside is we got seated right under a speaker and they had the music a little loud that night. And boy, were we reading lips because we couldn't hear a damn thing. Just three and a half hours of... Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da.

No other song plays the whole time. It's how you know it's Italian. I don't remember what songs we're playing, but man, were we just like...

What? A lot, where we were just like, I think I know. This place does not sound good to go to. We had the only table that I could see that was directly under a speaker. All the other speakers, hidden. You know, you can ask them about that. We did. Oh. And they said that as more people come in throughout the night, they turn the volume up more. So they kind of were like, yeah, if you think it's loud now, just wait. We're like, we can't hear. They're like...

And they left. But the food? Worth it. You just went to Dick's last stand, last resort. Dick's last stand, you know. That was literally the response we got to like, hey, the music's a little loud. Hey, if you think it's loud now, just wait. We cranked that shit way up later. Why though? I don't know. Just, I just imagine if you get the last round of reservations, you could see that nine o'clock and your waiter comes like, hello!

Would you guys like tap water or sparkling? We have spark... What? Cool restaurant. Dude, if it gets much louder, you'd just be sitting there foaming at the mouth from your ears exploding. You sit down at the table and it's like you're in a helicopter. The waiter puts on a pair of headphones and is like, under your seats! This is how we communicate because it's so loud. We don't control that. Not a bad idea, actually, to have those. Well, that sounds really fun.

fun despite my description always one of the biggest hits is to go to soto it's it is very very good mixed bag on that review never had that seat before hope i never get that seat again everywhere else i've sat great but if you're right by the wine hole you might be by the speaker

Is that the hole they scoop the ladles into to get the house wine out of? I think it's a cellar, but the cellar is kind of like just a cone shape with a ladder and then there's some wine bottles in it. We were between the bread heaver and the wine hole. Ha ha ha!

It's a nonstop activity. I think of a cellar, like you go down a staircase and there's like a whole basement with shelves. This was just kind of like a nice whole cone of wine. Yeah, thankfully they were seated right next to the spaghetti chute so they could just press their mouth up on air. Our table was actually one of the ones with the lever just...

Spaghetti right in there. Wait for the cannoli catapult to come sailing over. It's like hibachi, but Italian. They give you five balls and across the room there's a target. And if you hit the target, the catapult fires unlimited cannolis for five minutes. There's a classy restaurant you found, Wade. That would be cool.

Found a good Indian place recently. Found a good soda we've known about. The hibachi place. Dude, we've been eating good when we got out. Sounds fancy. I hope I get to eat somewhere that has a wine hole someday. Soda soda. I don't know.

I don't know if I'm cool enough for that place. Anyway, Mark, how's your sad life? Wine hole lists? Pretty sad. I had a triple cheeseburger. A triple triple? So was it three cheeses or three patties or both? It was McDonald's triple cheeseburger. Usually I get like the McDouble, but they also do a triple cheeseburger and I never had it before. I know it wasn't always there, but it was

it's not relatively recent but i know it's like why is it not called a mc triple is it like the mcdouble where there's only one slice of cheese so it's not cheesy enough there's a difference between a cheeseburger from mcdonald's and a mc double or a double there's a double cheeseburger the double cheeseburger is two patties two cheese the mcdouble is two patties one cheese yeah did you get a mc triple or a triple triple cheeseburger yeah so three cheese three patties three cheese three patties it was great so a triple triple

They don't allow us to call it that. I thought that's just what they were called in California. Oh, you know, you know, every restaurant's in and out. I actually don't mind in and out, but I don't get to do a session. Anyway, that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm ready to welcome to Markiplier's Complain Corner. All right. Play the song. Cue the song.

I turned around and I was complaining. It's just a straight dialogue from my respect video. Respect. It's a word.

Anyway, this is going to be the most niche thing. And I know it's going to be the most niche thing because when I was having this problem, you look it up online. There's not an answer to be found about it at all. So it's a Houdini problem, right? For those who don't know, Houdini is a visual effects software. It's great at simulations. I built the whole render farm for that specifically, right? It comes with this software, if you have a license for it, called HQ. You know, HQ as in line, Q-Q-U-E-U-E, H-Q-U-E-U-E.

And I've gotten very good at spelling that because I've had to type in it a billion times. The funny thing about Houdini is it's a very powerful software with extremely robust tool set, zero instructions. It is a smorgasbord of imagine the worst clunkiest user interface from 1995. And that's it. It's like you'll get used to that. That's fine. It doesn't need to be pretty UI to actually work well. So it works well. That's fine. It comes with a software called Acer.

to do distributed simulations and rendering. You hook up all your computers to it. It's able to, you send a job and it goes like, all of you, blah! It splits it into pieces. Well, you have to, okay, you actually have to split it into pieces before you set it. It's not like it does that automatically. You'd think it would, but it don't. You have to

define specifically where it's going to be split up into pieces that does have very little documentation but at least there's some guides to it the funny thing is i was bashing my head against the wall trying to get this to work everything was set up exactly as it should be like and everyone was like it's very finicky it's very finicky you got all the right drive letters you gotta have everything set up on the same network and the static ips and open your port

It wouldn't work no matter what for like two days straight. I was trying to get to work. And finally, I talked to someone that had been through this before who actually got it to work and they go, oh, yeah, it doesn't work.

And that was the answer. The answer was the software just sometimes don't work. And that's most of the time, apparently. So they were like, yeah, you got to use another software called deadline. That'll actually let you do what you want to do. And I go, well, yeah, they won't tell you that. And it's like, they don't tell me anything. There's no documentation for any of

any of this bullshit and so few people are actually doing it what was explained to me is they provide this software as like a framework and technically it can work sometimes it's meant to be something you build off of with your own like software or something exactly

Because the only people really doing big distributed simulations, which, you know, it is a little bit, you need more than one computer. Some people only ever have one computer and that's all most people need. I have six very powerful ones and I need them to talk to each other. But most of the time, yeah, that is a company and they have their own coding staff to build the software to use in their infrastructure to make it. So it's like literally it's a piece of software that should work on its own, but doesn't. And you have to hire people to fix it.

Or get another software that's made to make it work. It's great. That's fun. It's so fun. But guess what? It doesn't work yet because I haven't actually gotten to fix it up since I learned that. But it will soon. What are you doing right now? Because I'm stupid. Yeah, I agree. I'm getting out of here. Let's leave. You and me, Wade. Three, two, one. Whoever leaves first wins. Wow. Wade is clearly right there. Neither of you left. Editors...

Send me to Guam! What's Guam look like? I'm in Guam! Put me in Guam.

I have no idea what that... Why do you look like you're underwater? I don't think Guam is underwater. Look at all this Guam! Is that offensive? No idea, probably. I feel offended. You know, to be fair to Mark, I looked up Guam and the first image was a beach. Oh, pretty close. Guam is a U.S. island territory in Micronesia. Because I know there's a military, a lot of military presence, and John, who was on an aircraft carrier, they would dock there, and that's actually where he spent all of COVID. Oh.

These guys are, they know the future. Guam's World War III significance. Oh wait, that's two. That's two. I can read. Wait, no, read that article. It was there for a blip. Yeah, you gotta remember it. Guam's World War III significance is on view and coming soon.

Oh, God. I made that last part. To get back to what Mark was actually talking about, though, this is not remotely the same level of niche, but I fucking hate when you have a technical problem and you start Googling because you're like, oh, someone else must have encountered this. And you find one forum post from five years ago that's about something that has similar words, but not the thing you're dealing with. And otherwise, the internet has nothing to say. And you're like...

Ah, my thing that happened to me most recently is way less interesting. But basically on Windows, there's a way to toggle monitors on and off with keyboard shortcuts. And in Windows 10, there was a way to do it where you could toggle specific individual monitors on and off. But in Windows 11, you can only toggle on and off either the one main monitor or every monitor that's not your main monitor.

But the way the main monitor is defined is different between the Windows software and the backend. Anyway, I spent a long time Googling this and got into it like a rabbit hole of people's GitHub's and stuff where it's like, oh, I wrote the script and it does it. Oh, wait, no, it doesn't work on unless you have this other thing. I fucking hate that because it means you're just absolutely screwed. The moment you start Googling and nothing comes up, you just know you're like, well, this is unsolvable then, isn't it? Don't your monitors just have a power button?

Okay, I have a two PC setup and right now I have all three monitors on one computer, but sometimes I want one of my monitors to not be on the one computer because I want my video game stuff. Holy crap, I almost just pooped my pants. Alexa, I was not talking to you. Please don't do that again. The voice came through your mind. Okay, it's just, it's a thing where it's like, there's, I have one monitor I would like to disable on one computer because I, and it's like,

It's not a hard thing, but Windows 11, which is what my new computer came with, which is annoying because it sucks, doesn't work that way for completely arbitrary reasons just because Microsoft didn't include that feature, which Windows previously had in past versions.

Anyway, I hate that because I the moment you get that research result, you're just like, hmm. Well, I've taken to troubleshooting things like that. And I also like some software like usability things to asking chat GPT about it. But even that, even though they have like they've scraped the entire Internet to train it. And so it's got the answer in there somewhere. It just doesn't know it. So it's like I have to lead it towards the answer and.

Even when I'm asking, like, okay, what's submenu? And it'll say, like, ah, go to preferences, open the network sharing center. And I open preferences. There's nothing named that. Yes. And I have to guess what it thinks it's talking about. Did you mean, like, add-ons? Did you mean that? And it's like, yes, add-ons, yes, yes. Well, that's fun. No, it's not. But the computers work. The computers work. And my eBay scrounging actually did pay off. I did.

I got a lot of these computer parts at a steep discount. Still expensive, but only one of the CPUs I bought has failed. And then, I mean, there's no hope of getting a return at all ever. So that's a loss. But for the discount I've had across the board, it's been pretty crazy. Nice.

I guess that's it. Mark did really well in small talk today. I mean, you both did well, but Mark did better. But I talked about food, my favorite thing. Everybody loves food. Just a little, you know. Mark never talks about tech problems or render farms. Never. This was a very interesting conversation that no one's ever had before, and I'm not at all biased in favor of things that I like.

That's good. It's true. He's very fair and handsome. I'm going to give out some fair points. Ooh, and a handsome point. Tall. Okay, well, don't suck up. That's just obvious. Like Minecraft damage.

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This episode is brought to you by Accounting Plus. Here's a story that's 100% true. And it's about how accounting is a great choice of career. Here's the facts. With accounting, you'll have flexibility, great pay, and the kind of lifestyle you've always dreamed of. It's a lifestyle that's less math and spreadsheets and more traveling...

personal and professional growth, and making a positive impact on your family and community. Want to start an exciting new chapter? Accounting Plus provides free resources that will help guide you to a successful career in accounting and personal freedom. Do more. Live more. Visit joinaccountingplus.com. Anyway, I have a game. I've been apparently word games is what I'm into now. So we're playing another word game, everybody. I did one of those.

I'm down. The game itself is fairly simple, so I'm hoping there's going to be a lot of discussion. Basically, the burden's on you guys to make this episode work. I'm ready. It's normal. But the game is, you only have to come up with one word at a time, basically. You could come up with more. But I have a bunch of phrases that are in the vein of...

I like my women like I like my coffee. Strong or whatever, right? That's the structure. I like my blank like I like my blank. And then it's a competition between you guys to see who can come up with the best response that completes the saying. And it can be funny or it can be accurate. It could be scary.

Everything's on the table. But where it's going to be like a back and forth where it's like we can talk about it. You can help each other if you want, but there's going to be one final answer for each one. That's like the winning answer. But it's easy. Do we need to keep track of any of these words? No. Got it all up here, baby. Yeah, this is not 20 easy questions. Don't worry. Bonus point.

Oh, I can't remember the question. I have the bonus point. What was that treaty? Remember the treaty? We talked about it a bunch. It was real funny. Oh, God. What was that treaty? If one of you guys can remember what- Treaty of Westphalia. There you go. Mark wins the bonus point. I thought it was Winnebago. Bob, give me one. I got it. I got it. The wall. Whose wall? What wall? Hadrian. Thank you, Hadrian. That was for me. That was a toss up. Oh.

Adrian. Wade gets the point, I guess. Aw, man. Thanks, Mark, for cheating for me. Hagrid's Wall. Eureka's Castle. What? Was Castle one of them? No. What element is tungsten?

I think that was it. It's tungsten. All right. No, Mark gets the tungsten point. That's fair. That's fair. Oh, shit. Wait, I feel like you might just want to quit this game while you're ahead. I'm not ahead, but yeah, let's quit. I'll start off easy? Question mark? I

like my coffee like I like my vacations. Mark, you go first. Wade, you go first. Out of fairness, since he got his ass beat at the trivia questions just now. Wade, you go first. Hot and steamy. Hot and steamy vacation is good. Like Tropical Island. I see that. Or sexual. Either way. Sure. Oh, yeah. Sexual coffee. I like my coffee like I like my vacations. For work.

because i don't like vacations so what it's a working vacation where you don't actually they get you just working red flag anyone red flag i don't like vacations things that make you swipe bye-bye wait it's go again okay like your coffee like you like your vacations can you beat for work dripping like

Like a good moist vacation. I got one. Okay. I like my coffee like I like my vacations. Full cream. Oh. Imagine it. Imagine it. Imagine it. What kind of work are you doing on this vacation? Cream. Is it whipped or unwipped cream? That's for me to know and you to find out. All right, Wade, please don't let cream win. I like my coffee like I like my vacations.

No cup. This is good, man. Oh!

You're in the McDonald's drive-thru like, no, I know about the lawsuit. In the hands, in the hands. What? Anyway, Mark, cream wins. No! Come on, no cups. It made everyone laugh. It was, you know what? That does, it depends what the measuring stick is. I'm biased for Mark though, so the measuring stick is shorter for him, which is appropriate. I like my books like I like my desserts. Mark goes first.

I like my books like I like my desserts with words on it. Sure. Okay. Okay. Pretty literal. Uh-huh. Like, you know, cake. Happy birthday. Oh, I see. I got you. Sure. Yeah. Wade? I like my books like I like my desserts. Thick. Ah, yeah. All right. I like my books like I like my desserts. Pumpkin pie. What?

Think you know what I'm talking about? Two things sitting in front of Mark with signs. One says books, one says dessert. It's just two pumpkin pies. Cut to Mark in his dorm in college holding a pumpkin pie just like, hmm. Professor, what page are we on?

I feel pretty good about that one. Well, if you think you can match that, Wade. Wait, that beat thick? What is the fucking measuring? No, no, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Thick wits. If I knew gibberish was the answer. Have you never been in an episode where I've been in charge? That's why I'm trying to reign you in. I would never try to control you, bub. I would. Yeah, I'm like a wild stallion. You're not going to break me. Wade.

I like my music like I like my weather. Sloppy. That wasn't the word I thought of in my brain. That's what my mouth said. Sloppy it is. Sloppy it is. I like that. Whatever that tone of voice you just got out there. You should use that more often, though. Thanks. Mark. I like my music like I like my weather. Devastating.

That's right. That's right. That's right. You can have devastating music. No, I like it. That's good. Yeah. I like intense weather. You know, you don't just want a nice thunderstorm and you can watch. You want tornadoes left and right. It's literally me listening. I listened to from Frostpunk, The City Must Survive, which is like the last song when the storm's rolling in. So it's like, I really like that song. And it is, it is like devastation. It's awesome. True story. True story. Good one. Good one. Wade? I like my music like I like my weather. Oh.

heartily cloudy with a chance of heavy metal. That's...

He's so self-assured. It's hard not to just take your answer at face value when you say it like that. Anyway, devastating wins. Okay. Oh, man. I mean, yay, but I was just like, oh, we can go more. You could go more if you want. No, no, no. I'm ready. You don't have to take the point. No, I take it. Yeah, Mark gives the point back. Let's keep going. All right. I like my music like I like my weather. In the arms.

of the angels. Sarah McLaughlin? Because it's raining cats and dogs. Yes, see? You got it. See? It's multi-layered, yes. I can see why you wanted to keep going, Mark. You had that one locked and loaded. Wait, go on. Sorry, I cut you off. I like my music like I like my weather. Okay.

You need more lower lip bite if I'm going to believe that one. Oh. I was like, oh, lower teeth need to bite lip. Oh.

Ah, man. That's gonna be clipped forever. You know? That's gonna be forever. Yeah, I remember back when we were at Village Tavern, you know, you had those supermodels coming out and you'd be like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, my single face. I've not worn that in 12 years. My single face. Did I win? I don't even remember what you said, but good luck, Mark.

I like my music. That's it. A bold take. Wade wins. Oh, here's a good one. I was excited to hear what you guys got for this one. I like my pets like I like my friends. Who goes first? Probably me. I think it's me. I like my pets like I like my friends. Happy. Aww. I like my pets like I like my friends. Shaved.

Ew. What the fuck? Keep it going, man. You're up. I like my pets like I like my friends. Long-lived. I like my pets like I like my friends. On a leash. Let's keep this going for a while, man. I'm feeling good about this one. I like my pets like I like my friends. I bought them.

We're still here, man. Ready for our next payment. Not you guys. Not you guys. No, other friends. Other friends. Got it. I like my pets like I like my friends. Caged. Okay. Let's see where Wade's mind is at. Yeah, all right. Okay, all right. Beat that. I like my pets like I like my friends.

Alive. Jeez. It's true. I like my pets like I like my friends cuddling me on the couch. Last time we watched Bengals game together, it was nice. Except for the football. Holy fuck. Am I tired of that? Yeah, it hasn't gotten much better, has it? But the cuddles. Mark. I like my pets like I like my friends. Flying. Flying.

Is that why you have so many birds? Oh, that explains that. That explains Chica hovering six feet off the ground. I like my pets like I like my friends pooping outside.

That's not your answer. That's like my friend's ominous breathing. I get nothing. All right. Well, that was pooping outside is a good one. That's a good one, Wade. Excellent work. Let's harken back to where this phrase came from. I like my coffee like I like my internet. Wade goes first. Oh, I like my coffee like I like my internet with Java. Okay.

Yeah. No, I mean, it's good. We've got to start a little build. I like my coffee like I like my internet as fast as possible. Sure. Sure. Okay. Well, fuck you. No. What? That wasn't a sarcastic shirt. That was a... No. I love you. He knows his Bobians. I like my coffee like I like my internet. Accessible everywhere. I like my coffee like I like my internet without everyone else getting in it. Dude, that's just called a LAN. I was more like, you know, secure. Yeah.

I like my coffee like I like my internet. Cream. Hold on. That's not my brain. I had an idea. I laughed. So your answer is just cream. Yeah. Got it. Okay. I'm going to say Mark takes that one. Can't argue with it. I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams. Mark goes first.

I like my wardrobes like I like my dreams. Naked. I like my wardrobes like I like my dreams. Soffing. Good callback, good callback. All right, let me, okay, sidebar, my wardrobe is in shambles. I haven't bought a new pair of pants in so long. I've worn holes in all of them. I thought we solved the pants issue. No. This was months ago we talked about your pants problems. I have run out.

Out of socks, I am down to two pairs of underwear that I wash. Let's just say I have more than two so people don't accost me. I think it's a little late to say that now. Put two, two. Make it sound like I said 22. I am down to two, two pairs of underwear. Two, two underwear.

I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams. Imaginary. Because I don't have one. You have so few underwear. Only two-two. Only two-two. I'll always interpret that. I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams. Under my control. Surprisingly ominous, but I like it. I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams picked out by someone else. That would be cool if there was like a service that could do that for your dreams. That would be pretty cool.

I don't know if I'd want someone else picking my dreams for me. I think I'd like to pick them. I'll pick your dreams. You trust me, right? No. Mark's giving you so many nightmares. Don't. I wouldn't. I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams. Full of wood. What? Yeah, sure. I'll go with it. Like wooden dreams, don't you? Are you talking about like sex dreams? Sure. That's a wood. Could be your wood. Mark, your turn. That was a good one.

Oh, you're right. I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams. Sexy. That's kind of like what Wade said, only it makes more sense. Yeah, see, Wade? Wood? No. Don't worry. I got a winner here. I like my wardrobe like I like my dreams. Complete. What is a complete dream? Like it doesn't get interrupted. Like you get to finish the dream. You know when you wake up and you lost the dream and you try to get back to it? You get the whole dream. Oh, okay. I see what you're getting at. I would say Mark wins that one. Yeah!

I don't remember what you said, Mark. I'm going to be honest. Complete? No, I said complete. You said sexy. Sexy, that's right. Wade said wood. That was two rounds ago. We don't have to worry about wood. We have complete and sexy is the current line, but that's cool. It's the wood, I guess. This episode is brought to you by Batman Arkham Shadow, available only on MetaQuest 3 and 3S. I'm just excited to be able to use Batman's gadgets. Shock Glove Punch the Rat King, just...

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I gotta be honest. I'm reading a lot of the stuff I have written here and I don't care for it. I feel like I'm running down to the end. I thought I had some good ones. I'm literally skipping over like 20 of these that I think are garbage now. Trying to find, I'm trying to find a banger. I like my wallet like I like my confidence. Who first? Wade first. I like my wallet like I like my confidence with a condom. That's good. Always be safe. Action first.

I like my wallet like I like my confidence 100% secure I like my wallet like I like my confidence rich

You stole mine. He stole mine. No, I got it better. I'll do it his, but better. I like my wallet like I like my confidence stuffed with money. That was what I was going to say. Are you counting it? Are you discounting it? It sounds like you're discounting it. I'm considering it. I like my wallet like I like my confidence with me at all times. You said secure. Okay. I like my wallet like I like my confidence immune to criticism from people I thought were my friends.

It's not really a criticism. It's more of a judgment. I like my wallet like I like my confidence where you can't see it. I like my wallet like I like my confidence. I... Jesus. What did you say?

high confidence high wallet high wallet i think you might prefer better if you just let mark keep spiraling i like my wallet like i like my confidence up my ass i like my wallet like i like my confidence one from a carnival game i like my wallet like i like my confidence dead and buried i like my wallet like i like my confidence

We're somewhere over the rainbow. I like my wallet like I like my confidence. Torn apart by the woman I love. Like my wallet like I like my confidence washed again because I forgot to empty the pair of pants. I like my wallet like I like my wallet. Wallet. Wallet. Wallet. Leather. Leather.

confidence is the other word. I think that's enough for me to make a judgment. I got more. You were way ahead, Wade. I'm going to be honest. You were way in front until you started opening your mouth more. Come on. Torn apart by the woman I love was a great one. I know if you had just stopped there, imagine how well you might've done. I did. Oh, you did. Okay. Wade wins that one. Thank you. Mark may have got several bonus points along the way, but

That's okay. I'll take the win. Wins are worth more than bonus points. I honestly, I'm trying to think of one more. I can't think of one more. I'm not think of, but the stuff I have written is shit. Guys, this is shit. What?

I have shit. This page I typed out full of shit for the ending one. I would like each of you to try and come up with a good combo. And then I would like us all to try and come up. So like Mark, you come up with an, I like my, like, I like my, and way you come up with an, I like my, like, I like my now be the grand finale. We'll see. We'll see which one wins or something. There's points. I like my women. Like, I like my natural disasters, fiery and explosive.

Fuck, kill me. Editors, kill me. I don't know if that's better than mine or not. I like my cheese like I like my wife. Stringy. No, dripping. Dripping, not stringy. Stringy. Dripping.

I like my credit card like I like my potato salad full of mayonnaise. I like my toilet paper like I like my plungers next to each other. I like my... I like my shoes like I like my employees broken in. I like my salad like I like my debt all gone. I...

I like my phone like I like Steve Jobs. Wishing it was still alive.

- I like my plumbing like I like my driveway fixed. - I'm gonna cut you off there, Jim. - I like the center of the earth like I like the Large Hadron Collider spinning. - I like space like I like the ocean. - I like lightning like I like thunder, one after the other. I forget the objective we're going for.

I like cars like I like people. Rollin'.

I think we lost the plot. I think Wade forgets the objective even more than you did, Mark. So I like house like I like TV. All right. That's enough. Stop. Stop. Stop. That's the end. That's it. I'm very sorry that I put us through this, but also it was pretty funny and good job all around. I'm going to read the points and the person whose name I read first is the loser.

Mark, you got points for Bisteka? McTriple? No, not that. Schmorgasburg? Look at all this Guam. You

Handsome point. Treaty of Westphalia. Tungsten. Full of cream. Devastation. Without everyone in it, only two to up my ass and kill me, fucking kill me. For a total of 13 points.

And Wade, you earned points for... Uh-huh. Bistecca, but spelled correctly if it's an Italian word. Italian drunk? Wine hole? What? Ah! There's a lot of... Whatever you did at that restaurant made a lot of points. You got a fairness point. You got a Hadrian's Wall point. You got a red flag for Mark point. No cup in. No, just no cup in.

lower lip bite point. Also, you won the funky point. Pooping outside, torn apart by a woman and stringy wife for a total of 12 points. And it turns out I just straight up lied because that means Mark is the winner. Yes, yes, yes!

Turns out if you just lie completely, you can surprise everyone all at once. But I win every episode I'm not hosting. Well, that's just not true. Yeah, no. Mark gets 13 points and Wade gets 12 points. I do have a lot of things written down for Wade that I feel like, hey, I forgot to give points for. I don't know. I'm not going to double check my work. Who cares? Uh,

Mark, congratulations. You really earned this one. And Wade, congratulations. You really earned this one. Loser speech first, Wade. Despite the implication of I really earned this one, I feel like it was a hard fought battle. I feel like Mark and I really elevated our games. We were battling at the highest of points.

I like these episodes. Like, I like my chicken. Well done. If we were still giving out points, that would have been worth enough points for you to steal the win from Mark. Great. Can we? It wasn't, though, so just calm down. Mark, winner's speech. I like my winner's speech like I like...

This is hard. It's hard. I don't know how to do it half the time. I lost to this. I didn't, because all I want to do is say logical things, and I know it's not supposed to be logical. I don't know how I won this episode. I don't remember a thing that was occurring when it was happening. There were a lot of tirades that helped you, I think. I blacked out instantly.

And my subconscious took over. And that wasn't me. Therefore, anything that I said was that was supremely embarrassing is excuse because that wasn't me. We need to revisit the cringe episode after this one. But hey, I'll take credit for my subconscious stooping in.

To Lowe's, I could never bring myself to. So thank you, me. You're welcome, me. Well put, you. Congratulations to everyone, especially Mark. I like my friends. I like my pets. Submissive. Yeah, that was the correct answer. I'm not going to lie. That one was one of the few where there was a correct answer and we didn't get to it.

I mean, on a leash is pretty good. Yeah, on a leash, but submissive is more succinct. It's a good word. Anyway, Mark wins, which means you'll be hosting the next one. Hooray! Make sure you check out all of us at our channels. Markiplier, LordMinion777, MySkirm.

Distractible store.com. It's out there. Make sure you follow the podcast. If you follow it, then you'll get notifications and you'll never miss an episode. They come out Mondays and Fridays, but somehow you still miss it sometimes. And yes, I'm talking to you because we can tell when listeners don't come back and listen to the new episodes. We're like the Santa of podcasts. It's a fat joke. It's

No, we see them when they're not watching. We know when they're awake and we know when they've been viewing or not. So watch Distractible for fuck's sake. You know, it's a classic song. Anyway, that's the end of the episode. Mark will host the next one. I'm out of here. Podcast out.