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This episode of Distractible is presented by Mug Root Beer. Mug Root Beer has a question. Got that dog in you? All right. Yeah, Mug has that dog on their can. And he drinks root beer. Here's another question. Does anyone actually know what's in root beer? It's one of those things you, like, never think about. Well, for Mug Root Beer to be so creamy and delicious, it's got to be made out of rainbows and pure joy, right? All I know is it's that root beer for the dogs. Uh, yeah, so true. Well, there you go. Drink Mug Root Beer if you got that dog in you. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Do you hate phones? So do I. Let's ban phones. Ban phones! Ban phones! Ban phones! Mark, why are we banning phones? What happened? Because they're bad. And they're bad.
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Alien Romulus rated R in theaters everywhere August 16th. Get your tickets now.
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Morkish Mark makes the meals happy, motivates the men to main Mirabalite, and questions the species of Santa...
From shambolic Shakespeare to freezing balls.
Yes, it's time for Glauber Salt. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hi.
Keep going. Oh, that she knew she were. She speaks, yet says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses, I will answer it. I am too bold. Tis not to me she speaks.
Keep going? I don't know the rest, that's all I had memorized. Ah, well, you don't get a point. You didn't know the whole- Nah, I'll give you it. I'm sorry, Mrs. Williams, ninth grade English class. That's all I got, man. When was ninth grade? Ten years ago? You wish. Bob, what plays in poetry can you pull out of your ass? Remember that it is not the spoon that bends. It is you. Huh? That's the only part I- I don't have a good memory. What do you want me to- No, that's fine. That's good. That's good.
good well I'm not gonna give you a point for it dude where's my car look I'm only gonna give you a comp it's like I give points based on confidence today so it's got to be a lot of confidence that's tough tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day the last little recorded time and all yesterday's alleged fools the way to dusty death out out brief candle blah blah blah blah fucking blah
Don't remember the rest. I'll give you a point for blah, blah, blah, blah, fucking. That's nice. All right, all right. I think it might have still been an iambic pentameter. Just wait. When I win this episode, we're going to do a whole episode just for the viewers. I've got an idea. Uh-huh. It's...
Look, I got an idea, guys. No audio for the rest of this episode. We're just going to be learning sign language and we'll silently be trying to teach each other. The goal is to tell a knock-knock joke in sign language at the end of the episode. What's new in your guys' life? Anything you want to bring up? Any complaints? Any...
Trash talk for your opponent before things get really violent. I'm moving. Not we're not moving house. We're not staying here. I'm so confused. This room won't be my office in a minute. I'm moving my office into the basement. Probably two or three episodes from now. This will all be different and I'll be in a different room because this is becoming Mandy's office. I think.
We could be neighbors. I'm also a basement office. Dude, I'm so excited for a basement office. Our basement is so cold. Literally every office I've had with my two computers set up has been just so hot that I've had to like get an AC, like a window AC unit. But the basement, the cold, cold basement.
It's my dreams finally coming true. That's wonderful. It's not even an unfinished base. It's got drywall and everything. It's going to be great, guys. That does sound great. That's the thing about LA that I miss is like there aren't really many basements around here. And basements are so incredibly useful because they stay colder just because the ground is almost always colder than anything else. So...
Usually because the walls are in contact with the dirt there. It stays cool. There's radon apparently, but that's a whole another thing. You just need a thing that makes noise every three minutes and then you won't have radon anymore. Hey, there's mitigation systems you can get and replace. And then you just have to mitigate your mitigation system once it mitigates itself.
Sorry, I just came across a piece of news that just made me laugh really hard. That was a mild laugh at best, but go on. It's holding it back. McDonald's rebrands Happy Meal as just the meal for Mental Health Awareness Week. I'm sorry, that was just very funny to me. It's a meal with no happiness? Why is that good for mental health? I think it's like an intention grabbing thing. Like, you know, not all meals are happy.
Okay, so it's like getting, it's like a toxic, toxic happiness acknowledgement of like, I can't always be happy. I'm hoping in practice, a little kid goes up to order a Happy Meal and they're like, sorry, we don't have those this week. They just punch the kid in the face. Just...
Here's your meal. Where's the toy? It's not a happy meal, kid. It's just a meal. It's just a plastic bag with shards of glass in it. This is actually a completely cynical money saving tactic from adults. If they're not happy anymore, we don't have to give them toys or anything. The box can be monochrome. Do you know how much we could save on printing if all those cardboard boxes are basically just gray? Back to the topic at hand. Wade, how's your life? I got a complaint.
what i hate the sun oh that's fair actually i was at the pool the other day put on some sunscreen went swimming everything went great yesterday my nephews came over we played some basketball it was 94 degrees i took off my shirt we were all like just kind of like shirtlessly playing basketball because it was really really hot didn't put on any sunscreen turned into a lobster last night my shoulders are killing me chest i'm
I'm very sore. Partially from being out of shape. Mostly because the fucking sun betrayed me. I was like, it's not like I'm going to be facing one direction the whole time. I'll be spinning around. I'll give that half of me a break from the sun. It'll chill back, warm up, turn around. I'll be like,
I'll be good to go again. Three hours, apparently, of no sunscreen in the sun and you get a little sunburned. And I'm not here for it. The sun's supposed to enter. Like plants are in the sun all the time. You don't see them dying. You know, that's a good point. I think it's probably because plants spend the majority of their time in the sun and you do not. So you're not.
I spent most of my basketball time in the sun yesterday. You sure did. You absolutely sure did. You know, there's a lot of sun slander going on these days on the internet and whatnot. And just because, you know, it can cause cancer and such as the like as thus the sun.
The only reason we're here is the sun. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you putting down my small talk? I'm putting it down because I don't want anyone to put down the sun because at any moment that, that sun bitch could blast, uh, uh, just a lance of solar material straight at earth obliterate us. You know what, sir? You are jesting at scars that did feel a wound. Uh,
Yeah. You know what? I am. If you had treated your sun exposure like, say, a marathon, right? And you gradually increase your sun exposure over a period of time, your body has a mechanism to create a natural shield against the sun. I was in the sun in the pool with some sunscreen. That was my stepping stone. Yeah.
You trained for one day. I did. It was literally the day before, too. So like I knew I was ready. But now I'm all sticky and slimy feelings. I have to put on that like after sun alloy stuff. So before we started rolling, I was like, yeah.
I mean, you don't have to slop it on in big handfuls. You don't have to buy it by the Costco bucket. I just reach in there, scoop and throw. Wherever it ends up on me, that part gets sun treatment. I hate when I have to fill my bathtub with aloe, then dunk myself in it for a brief moment. Listen, I know it hurts, but sweeter the uses of adversity, which like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head. I say that quote all the time, and I appreciate you saying that.
That's great. That's something about a toad jewel. I don't know. I have small talk. Wait, I say I save this away. We control the universe. This just in distractible controls everything. Everyone listens and watches. You heard it here first. A couple episodes ago. I don't remember which one, but I complained. Oh, it's the dumb of humanity episode, I think.
I complained about restaurant drive-thrus that have ice cream handing you the ice cream cone first. I swear to God, I went, it was a warm summer evening. I went and picked up Dairy Queen and I was at the window at Dairy Queen and the person in the window had the ice cream cone in their hand and was all, and looked at me and was like, wait,
wait a minute. And they gave me everything else and then gave me the ice cream cone last. And I was like, what if we caused a memo to go around all the ice cream places? They're like, distractibles onto us. We got to change it up, boys. So they do listen. And any or every other Dairy Queen and ice cream place in the world, you're on notice now. It's possible. Can be done. We changed the world, boys. Looks like cream's back on the menu, boys.
Shakespeare? Unfortunately, I was about to give you a point, and then Wade said cream's back on the menu, so I just diverted your entire small talk point to Wade there. Wow, that's tough. I didn't know points were such a premium. I thought we could both have a dip in there. All right, I have today's episode. You guys ready? I'm a little worried, but yeah. Yeah, you're not prepared for this. Two words. Glauber's salt. Oh...
Glauber. Wait, I know this. Glauber. Beautiful salt? It is. It is a beautiful salt, but that's not it. Are they the little elves that make... No, it's Keebler. They are the Glauber elves.
We make cookies, but with much less joy. I just typed Glauber elves into Google instead of Glauber's soul. Please tell me you found something. Google literally was like, zero. There are zero things. What the fuck is that? Anyone want to take a random guess at what I'm talking about here?
Guess you'd have to know how to spell it first before you could even... Are you talking about mirabilite or hydrosodium sulfate mineral with the chemical formula NA2SO410H2O? Oh my god! Oh!
I am, but I'll give Wade a chance to actually pronounce it. Wait a second. Wait. Glaubersalt. No, the other name of it. Oh. Uh, uh, shrapnelosulfate. Say the same thing you just said again twice and I'll believe you. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Ah, chaperone sulfate. Not, I don't even remember what you said, but I know it wasn't that. All right, so Glauber's salt, right? Also known as mirabilite. Mirabilite, I believe it's mirabilite, right?
This is the future, and I'm just chucking it out there. This is a two-word topic episode. I can't wait to hear about Glauber's salt. Can I just say, I don't know anything about mineralology. There's apparently a quality of minerals, of crystalline minerals, that's called cleavage. Cleavage.
And on the Wikipedia for Mirabilite, the cleavage is described as 100 perfect, but also 1 poor and also 10 poor. Apparently there are three types of cleavage. I have no idea. Hang on. I'm going to the cleavage section of Wikipedia. Okay. If I click on cleavage and you show me boobs, I'm going to be very disappointed. No, it's crystal. It's crystal. Oh, okay.
I don't know what this means. Basil, pina coital, or planar. The three types of cleavage. All right, I'm sharing my screen if people want to see some crazy cleavage. Okay, listeners, I'm so sorry that... I almost called you Scott. That Mark is not sharing his images with you, but this is a viewer-only podcast now. Yeah, this is a viewer-only...
Oh, hell yeah. Look at that 100. That's perfect. 100 cleavage. Okay, so if those are the elves, one is Ernest J. Keebler, the other is J. J. Keebler. Yes. Wait, I'm giving you another attempt to repeat what you said earlier that you forgot.
Just that plank expression. I really like it. Staplerite? Dude, there is rhombohedral cleavage. All right, I'm putting away the cleavage. The cleavage is gone. Everyone can go back to just listening. The cleavage is gone. J.J. Keebler was the original King Elf in 1969. The King Elf? I thought that was Santa.
Is Santa an elf? Because they say he's a jolly old elf, but in, you know, other things, he's kind of more human. If he's an elf, wouldn't he be kind of like a god elf? Like he's big and he's like, I don't know, very human sized. Like J.J. Keebler of the Keebler Elves.
J.J., are you actually talking about someone not real, but who has been made up, but more officially? What is real, J.J. Keebler? This is the real Keebler elves, dude. I'm reading the real Wikipedia, which never is wrong. Oh, oh, oh, he's the old Keebler with white hair. Okay, I got it. Okay, I see, I see.
This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Do you hate phones? So do I. Let's ban phones. Ban phones! Ban phones! Ban phones! Mark, why are we banning phones? What happened? Uh, cause they're bad.
And they're expensive. It doesn't have to be expensive. Do you have Mint Mobile? Have you heard of Mint Mobile for phone service? Have you done this? I have not. Unlimited talk and text and data. And it's just 15 bucks a month when you buy a three month plan. You mean like 150? No, like literally it's $15. This is confusing. Mint Mobile has unlimited talk, text and data for $15 a month when you buy a three month plan. God.
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Dude, this isn't new. Chinese medicine has known about this since forever, apparently. Mirabilite is used as an anti-inflammatory and a purgative. Oh, it's like a laxative. Okay. In traditional Chinese medicine and in Mandarin is called, I'm not going to try and pronounce that, but something like Meng Chao. I tried to pronounce it. I lied. Some guy named Johann Rudolf Glauber discovered it and was like,
Oh, I've discovered something new. The Chinese were like, what? Why do you think this is the future of humanity, Mark? What do you mean? It's Glauber's salt. It appears to be a mineral. Apparently in 2019, Kellogg sold Keebler to Ferrero for $1.3 billion. Now the elves are gone. For how much? $1.3 billion. What?
How many elves? How many elves died? I don't know. It doesn't say. Like, went along with the deal. Why did they kill him for a $1.3 billion? I don't know. Kellogg has two L's and two G's. I guess that was just too much for them to overcome. $1.3 billion for Keebler, the brand?
Well, Keebler cookies and other related brands. Maybe they kept some of it. Kellogg retained the rights to other Keebler products such as crackers. They didn't even sell all the Keeblers and it made a 1.3 billion? Why aren't we in cookies? Why aren't we doing cookies, guys? Well, Ferrero Sp- A is the one who has it. Why do you keep saying- What are you saying? S-P and then capital A. It looks like Sp-
bar, but the A is capitalized, so I just assumed I was supposed to yell it. That's not a... Well, I mean, it's a name, but it's also... It's clearly one of those after-name things, but it just so happens to be Italian. What does S-P-A stand for? Special Ass? Probably something not in English. One of the world's most secretive firms? Wait, what the fuck? I'm totally derailing us, and I love it. 38 trading companies, 18 factories, approximately 40,000 employees, and produces 365,000 tons of Nutella. What?
What? Good damn. Oh! In 1946, Pietro Ferrero invented a cream of hazelnuts and cocoa. He invented...
The name of the thing that I just said, Nutella. Nutella? Yeah, but he originally called it Super Crema. Super Crema. Super Crema. Super Crema. That's a much cooler name. It's maybe more confusing and less... I mean, Nutella doesn't really mean that much. We just know what that is. Super Crema's dope. Well, anyway, that's great.
Good job, Wade. But Glauber's salt. This stuff doesn't seem that special. I'm just going to come right out and challenge you. What the fuck? Oh, you lose a point. That's fine. That's fine. There are some people out there listening right now that are creaming their jeans for the Glauber's salt mention. I mean, look, it looks like this stuff is used for water softening because it removes calcium and magnesium ions, which is fine. Looks like it has a high heat storage capacity.
So when it phase changes, it heats up really effectively. So like when you dissolve it in water, I assume that means it heats up the water. That's well, that's not necessarily what it does, but you're on the right track, buddy. You're on the right track. I'm telling you, Laubersalt is going to solve every. Oh, are you talking about this in solar heat storage application? Is that what you're talking about? I am. Yeah.
Other elves included Friar Tuck, Zoot, JJ, Ma Keebler, Elmer Keebler, Fast Eddie. Fast Eddie.
I know I used to get mad when Wade would just not even engage with us. I'm not mad. I just have to respect how much he's having his own little episode right now. And I love that for you. It's the B plot. You know, the camera cuts away. Professor Edison, Larry and Art. Anyway, Glaubersalt, G-L-A-U-B-E-R apostrophe S. Glaubersalt, remember the name. It's going to change the world. How sweet.
How so? Well, that's what for us to discuss. Just chucking it out there. Glauber salt. I feel like generating heat is not as much of an issue in the world as dissipating heat and avoiding excess heat generation is. Yes, yes. Go on. Go on. Well, this doesn't seem to. Well, his Glauber salt used in like heat exchangers or something. Like, what are we talking about? Like, is this almost almost.
You're getting closer. Keebler started in Philly. The first elf appeared in 1969. Are you talking about this in the application of electronics? Or is this like a home heating type of application that you're concerned with? Oh, no. Get off the heat. Well, it's not heat. It's like temperature regulation. Well, it's got to start with heat, if you know what I mean. I don't.
Ollie and JJ got screwed because Ernie came in and just became the mascot. All right, fine. You want me to, you want me to pull this? I'm literally, I'm Googling my brains out over here and I'm learning very back and forth. So this thing, this is very corrosive, which is not a good, could be very derisive. It,
This has very poor thermal conductivity, apparently, which would mean it would not be good for a heat exchange application. No, no, no, no, no, not by itself. Wait, if you made a ginger dead man with this salt, would it be extra derisive? Oh, it'd be so derisive. It also probably stank because it's got sulfur in it. All right, I'm going to tell you. I've been watching.
youtube videos oh more kurtzgesagt i know not at all no no no people who's been around since 1853 i i tell you i watched one video and it's changed my life right and it's all about glabber salt it's glabber salt all the way down baby because what you take what you do what you do is you take glabber salt and then you get a big pot of water and then you
you boil the water and you put Glaubersalt in it, okay? And what you get is you get a substance that freezes, that goes solid,
At 90 degrees Fahrenheit. All of the water? Yes. So it will freeze at 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Oh, yeah. Wait. Yeah, he's getting it. Yeah. He's understanding the ramifications. Keebler bakeries make Girl Scout cookies? Oh, that's interesting. Well, no, but they sell like Girl Scout copycats that are like Keebler branded in the store. They do that. Yeah.
Did they also make the official Girl Scout cookies, though? Next time you stock up on Samoas and tag-alongs from local Girl Scouts, know that those delicious treats are connected to Keebler. You know, that makes perfect sense because I've always wondered what the difference between the Samoas and the Keebler elf ones. Yeah, I was like, man, these are really similar. To celebrate 150 years back in 2003, they made a 150-pound cookie. Dang!
I feel like they could have gone bigger. If you could eat it in under 45 minutes, it's free. Wait, but in the beginning of Bruce Almighty, they made a cookie that was like nine feet something inches. What did they say in the beginning of the movie? I only remember the part where he's playing trumpet and he keeps flicking the guy off with his middle, with his finger. Or he's like, do you like jazz? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
and he's flicking him off. All right, I gotta look up how big was the cookie in Bruce Almighty. Okay, the tape measure is clearly not measured. There's apparently some controversy about this one. Can I read a sentence to you and just see if you guys don't like the way it's worded like I don't? We're currently getting to the bottom of the cookie, but yes. Yeah, well, you guys are looking. Okay, so Keebler, this is saying they make a
other versions of Girl Scout cookies like you were saying. They have the grasshoppers are like Thin Mints and so forth. And they said apparently their year-round versions haven't hurt Girl Scout sales though because even if you crave the taste and can eat them off season waiting a couple of extra weeks for a sweet little Girl Scout to deliver them to your office is worth the effort.
Nope, don't like that. I see where you're getting at. Don't care for that. I was looking up the cookie size and I've downloaded the entire script of Bruce Almighty. No, I'm right there with you. The script has the line, the previous Buffalo cookie record was 3 feet 17 inches. And based on the way they talk about it, it's implied that the cookie in the movie is significantly larger than 3 feet 17 inches in diameter. Which, can I just say...
Why the fuck is it 17 inches? Isn't that just four feet, five inches? Yeah, I don't know what that's about, but they say it. They say it in, they say it in the movie. I'm not seeing that it's said, it's actually said in the movie. It's said to the tape measure because there's controversy about it because on the IMDB, someone complains that in the beginning when they're measuring Buffalo's biggest cookie, the tape measure is clearly not measuring the middle of the cookie. The measurement would only be accurate by the diameter size, but they said it. They said it. Oh,
been nine inches oh yes okay here we go yeah the the actual size of the cookie is said Jim Carrey measures the cookie and looks at the camera and goes 10 feet and four inches in diameter setting a new record yeah yeah so way way way bigger and so that proves that this 150 pound cookie sucks and is dumb
So Wade, you lose a point. Well, you know, this came before Bruce Almighty. So Bruce Almighty had to beat this cookie's record. Because Bruce Almighty came out after 2003. I'm about 10% sure. Shit, it came out in 2003. They beat it the same year. Oh, man. Oh. That made quite a smack on my head. Did you hear that? Yeah, I did. That was very loud. Wow. For our listeners, can we not talk and just make those smacking noises for a few minutes so they can...
Do you think there's a bunch of people listening at home that are now smacking themselves in the forehead? Try it, Wade. Lick your palm and smack your head. All right, I'll give you a point. Yeah, you did it. Uh, Glauber salt. So here's the thing. You boil water, you put your Glauber salt in it, and that mixture alone creates a concoction that would freeze at 90 degrees Fahrenheit. That's scientifically true, but that doesn't mean it's cold. Now, now, here's the thing. If you add regular table salt...
to your mixture. You will lower the freezing point of that mixture. Same way as if you put salt on ice, it'll start to melt because the freezing point is now lower than what it should be. If you put a certain ratio into it, I don't remember it off the top of my head, you can create...
a mixture that will freeze at 70 degrees Fahrenheit, exactly what most people might consider room temperature. And if you put xanthan gum, it'll turn into a gel so that it's easier to, you know, handle than just like pure liquid. And then you have a gel, like a gel pack that'll freeze at 70 degrees. And what that takes advantage of is the fact that phase change, it's called a phase change material. It has, it takes so much more energy to,
get it to change its phase than it does to get it moving a degree. So it'll stay at 70 degrees way longer. And all this circles back to the concept of my render farm. So I figured if I make enough of this shit and stuff my render farm full of it, it'll stay at 70 degrees
Because there's so much ice, but warm ice, Glauber's ice. In the 80s and 90s, they had pizza flavored chips called pizzerias. And apparently there's a Facebook page dedicated to trying to bring them back because they were so popular. The only problem with pizzerias was the name because I always used to complain that they gave me pizzeria. Oof.
Remember when Pizza Hut really tried to be Pasta Hut? But the thing is, I fucking loved their pasta. Gold Star here in Cincinnati, they got rid of some of their like chili products, like the burritos and stuff. And they started making burgers that apparently very, I've never had a Gold Star burger, burger.
is like a big thing at Gold Star Chili's now? Like a chili burger or... No, just a normal cheeseburger. Never had one, but apparently they're good. I've heard good things, but it's like whenever I think of getting chili, I never think of like the burger on the menu. So I don't know enough about thermodynamics to like really contribute to this, but...
What you're saying sounds right. So basically what you're saying is you would put all this stuff where the phase change point is right about 70 degrees. It would constantly be in and out of phase. Like it would be kind of part liquid, part frozen because the racks would generate heat.
So they would heat, but then the phase change of all the globosol salt solution goop, it would extract. But globosol is still a poor thermoconductor, right? So would it really... When mixed with water, it becomes as good of a thermoconductor as water is. So here's the thing, right? The weird thing about 70 degree phase change material is if you think of the world we live in...
At night, it usually gets below 70 degrees. Most places, even in the desert, it can get down because the sun is not shining and it's cold. It will freeze overnight if it's in an environment where it can for free. Speaking of environments, Keebler did a thing in 2013 where they went around and found trees in places such as, I don't know, Cincinnati and put little doors on the trees to make it look like elves lived there. Did they cut a hole in it and carve out
the middle of it i'm wondering if they actually damaged trees for this i was trying to find that out haul it out the tree to build dioramas with little elves cooking cookies and little ovens and all these trees it says they crafted tiny doors to attach to the base of trees it doesn't say how they attach it whether they just like oh this tree looks healthy nail this door onto it i don't know
Anyway, Glaubersalt is cheap. So the thing is, if I get an industrial cook thing pot, an industrial boiler pot. I mean, the industrial boiler probably implies that it's a very large pot for boiling stuff. I don't know. Hey, Siri, what's a kitchen? So, Mark, if Glaubersalt is such a magical, cheap material that is so simple to implement, why hasn't anyone else done this? Well, I don't know.
That's fair. I don't know what it is about it, but ever since I heard about Glauber salt, I can't stop thinking about it. And it's not even that it's the Glauber salt, really. It's like, I don't know if there's a name for the mixture of what it is afterwards, but that's science. Like you can do the science. I just need to figure out a way to make a 422 kilograms of it.
I think the thing for me that I'm sticking on is the point is not, I'm with you that it freezes at such a high temperature that it basically freezes for free, but then it's a solid, right? Yeah. Or it's a goop anyway. The way water cooling works is the heat is not dissipated just because water absorbs heat. It's dissipated because water absorbs heat and then is cycled away from the electronics. Yeah, but that's not what I'm doing. If I put it in the room and then put a fan...
on it and blow the air. But you're but but heat heat saturation is a thing. The whole the whole thing will if you don't shut down server farms overnight, do you part of the point is they sort of run 24 seven. Is there a downtime? It'll be it'll be fine. Are these like you change out the Glauber salt packs or something with no no, that
be too heavy. Yeah, well, that sounds like a pain in the ass. It's kind of like a class action lawsuit against fudge stripe cookies for not having the proper fudge ingredients to count as fudge stripe. That would also be a pain in the ass because in 2021 Keebler had a class action lawsuit alleging that their fudge wasn't real fudge.
They have to spell it F-U-G-G-E. I love when I go to the store and do the freezer section, they got wings, but they're spelled W-Y-N-G-Z. And you're like, oh, that's a fun way to spell it. And then you look at the back and it's made of...
dirt and moss and probably glabra salt. No. So Mark, what if you make your glabra salt solution, your high, high freezing point solution with mineral oil, and then you submerge your stuff in a glabra salt, mineral oil tank so that then you don't have to cycle it. The phase change occurs. And as the heat builds up, the phase changes out, but then it cut like it freezes. It's like an expanding, contracting water cooling rig. Yeah.
I love that. And I think that's incredible. However, I feel like it would mess up with the freezing point if it was mixed in mineral oil. Yeah, I have no idea what the freezing point of mineral oil actually is. I don't know how that's different. I know it's not water. So what I was going to do is I'm going to make an evaporative cooler. So I'm going to McMaster car and I'm going to
buy a bunch of duct work, and I'm gonna get some ventilation fans, and it's gonna build a little evaporative cooler, and the cool air from there is gonna blow over the Glauber salt mixture, and I'm gonna have a heat exchanger inside there that's gonna be basically encapsulated by all of the Glauber salt mixture, and then some working fluid running through that going to another heat exchanger inside the render farm room, and a fan on that blasting all of that delicious cold. Free air conditioning, baby! Yeah!
Well, not free. It costs a lot to build it and all that stuff. Yeah, so it's essentially a normal water cooling setup with extra stuff that's definitely going to go wrong. It's Glauber salt. It's Glauber salt. You gotta have faith in the Glauber. Are you getting custom like heatsink blocks for all each of your little chipsets and cards and things? Or are you just sort of setting it near it? No, I mean...
not you keep thinking about a slather my electronics and glower salt no it's air it's just air okay it's just air circulation you're just using the salt solution to cool the air to a crisp it's out it's a cold battery it's a battery of coldness but room temperature coldness you know a lot of people miss cookie crisp but in 2016 keebler had a breakfast cereal that's little chocolate chip cookies as well what do you mean miss cookie it's still around isn't it it still exists doesn't it
Oh, I don't know. I thought I thought it was gone. I was never a big cookie crisper. It's cookies for breakfast. What's wrong with that? Man, I tell you, I have not had this is not I don't believe food coloring is in cookie crisp, but maybe it is for all I know. But I haven't had any like artificial food dyes in a while. And I'm not I'm not trying to like be like, oh, I'm crazy about it. But it's like I feel markedly different. For a while there, I was very tired. And I think it was just like I think I was going through withdrawal because all my life I've had an unbelievable amount of red 40 food.
And then I stopped doing it. And I've been like weirdly less snacky, less like hungry at night. I feel fuller sooner. And it's like it's just has weird effects. Well, if you ever miss it, just put it out in the sun for a while. You'll get plenty of red.
All right. Anyway, Glauber's salt. Are you guys seeing the value of Glauber's salt now? Yeah, they sound really good. If somehow you are the only person who's ever pieced this together and you're able to make what you're dreaming of and it works the way you think it will, despite none of us seeming to understand physics quite enough to reason out why it will or won't work correctly. Oh, yeah. You're on to a billion dollar idea. Ha ha ha.
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. You essentially, you have invented the perpetual motion machine of heat exchange. Oh yeah, I have. Keebler actually did tortilla chips and potato chips for a while in like the late 80s and early 90s too. What was that brand called? Sanchero's Tortilla Chips and O'Boyz's, O'Boyz's Potato Chips? O'Boyz's? O'Boyz's? I could see the commercials now. O'Boyz's, said the elves. Eat our potato chips. Well, that's great.
But I don't think you guys are seeing the wisdom of Glauber's salt. Okay, the original picture of the elf tree was like a big tree, a door in the tree lit up with all kinds of like fancy things. This picture of the tree is just a tree with what looks like a plastic like round door just leaning against it that could maybe open. Well, anyway, hey, what about this? I think this will answer your questions.
If they did that to trees around Cincinnati, I would definitely buy cookies out of fear for my life. Keebler Halloween releases with that as the mascot. Yes. What did you guys talk about? Like table salt or something? Go back. Yeah, I was actually there. Thank you for that. I'll give you a, I'll give you a listening point. You were, you heard when I mentioned the table salt. All right. All right. By the way, globber salt is going to change the world. All I got to figure out is how to make enough of it.
That's it. We've all agreed it's the best idea ever. We're going to make distractible branded Glauber salt phase change material. We're going to sell it in bulk in huge lots. We just got to make it. We all agree, right? Good. How do you make Glauber salt? You don't make Glauber salt. You mine it?
Because Glauber Salt. Glauber Salt. I don't know. This is fun to say. That's all I really have. I watched this video. The video that I watched about it is by this guy named Nighthawk in Light, who reminds me very much of my friend John, both in his mannerisms. And there's a faint resemblance. But just when he was talking about it, it's just for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about Glauber Salt. I couldn't get it out of my head. Nighthawk was formerly Robin, I believe. Tim...
Chiggins. What was Robin's name? Tim Chiggins? He became Nighthawk after he was Robin. Uh-huh. Yep. I don't think that was his name, but all right. Maybe his name was actually just Robin something. I don't remember. Are you talking about Kyle Richmond? Maybe. Couldn't tell you. He's not one of the elves, so I really don't care as much. Poor Ernie back in the 90s was trying to get people to believe in elves because, you know, his biggest problem was people didn't believe in him, which is really sad.
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So, Mark, I just have to ask, have you got any Glaubersalt in your hands yet? No. Because it sounds like you could make, if you made the Glaubersalt water solution and then just like put that in a water balloon, you would essentially have a balloon that was like frozen solid, except if you hold it in your hand, it will melt. Ooh. Which just sounds really fun, right? That does sound fun. Like if you put it, I would maybe put it in a balloon, then put that in another balloon, like layer it, because I have no idea how toxic or corrosive or unhealthy it might be to get this stuff on you.
But it would just be cool because if you just sit on your desk, it'll just freeze probably. But then as soon as you start touching it, it'll start melting like you're but it won't be cold like you're melting ice in your hands, but it'll be like you're melting ice in your hands. You know, in actual practical reasons for this stuff, I think a render farm is probably a bad idea, but I don't know. Wait, if I ever told you I after the wug cost
assume basically and how hot it was i looked it up and there are there are vests that you can buy and basically full suits that you can buy that have like water tubing through it and what you do is you have a box or something a styrofoam cooler on the side and they they sell these like get a different kind of cooler like a plastic one or metal or something
Actually, no, it's like some one of it was like a water, like a plastic lined felt bag. I think there was another version that was fine. And what you did is they have ice packs like gel packs that freeze at like, you know, ice temperature and it keeps her. But the problem was that when it circulates, it's so cold. Unless you're actually in 100 degree weather, it's going to be untenable. But if you have a costume that has ice that freezes at like 70 degrees, then it would be a cool refreshing. It'd be like a dip in a nice cold.
cold pool instead of potentially frostbite that is interesting actually next time we get together you can water cool me we'll see how it goes well so i was gonna say this is more complicated they do make they make a type of that cool shirt where you plug in your shirt to essentially a refrigerator box and you could set the temperature so it doesn't have to be ice cold it can be a more if you're not in like constant 100 degrees it can be a more reasonable temperature
Aside from the issue of liquefying it to begin with so you could start the circulation, cloud or salt might be a great application on set for that sort of thing. Hot costumes get a nice cool. That is why I got it because if we ever did something again that required and usually like when you're filming things get very hot because you have to turn off the air conditioning when you're doing it. It's like it was for a safety thing because not only you but Pam also was very, very warm because she had a literal ski suit. Well, good that she worked in a cold area. You could tell by her outfit.
Yeah, yeah, that's the ironic thing. Like, that room was so blue and looked so cold. That was the hottest room because it was farthest in the back on the set. No circulation at all. Like, just completely closed off of everything. It was terrible. There was one time when we were filming and we had to fill it with vapor, like, you know, fog, when I come out and I'm frozen, Mark, you know, and...
What happened is there are people because our doors were broken. So people had to move them by themselves. So someone was in there the entire time as it was filling up, just huffing pure fog juice the entire time. And it's not toxic, but I don't think you're supposed to breathe only that because it's just like flooded from floor to ceiling with fog everywhere.
And they just they couldn't have pulled on the door from the other side. Well, they had to be ready to open it. And then the the audio guy was also in there ready and waiting. So there was so many things in space where we hid the other people that were like for filmmaking as a first person, just like walk in one way and there would be a dance around it. But they walked out of the room after a cut and they were just like,
Anyway, fun times. But Globbersalt! Oh my god, guys, there's crossover. I didn't catch this. You probably said this, Wade. You know Flo from Progressive? Flo was previously the accountant for the Hollow Tree in the Keebler-Else universe. Oh, really?
Really? I think Flo was one of the ones I'd mentioned. Yeah. I didn't realize it was that Flo, but yeah. I think you did say that. I just didn't put it together myself until I started looking at it. What a crazy deal to like be hired on as an actress for like Flo for Progressive and then become the mascot. That's got to be, that's got to be great. If you actually have the rights to the character, unless you are beholden to the company, Evan.
that, but I'm sure she's beholden to the company. I just, I always imagine with, with actors like that, like I'm sure I would imagine she went to LA or whatever and was like, I'm going to be an actor. Right. And I want to be on a TV show or a movie or something like had these goals, but then you get the gig and you're like, well, I'll just do this commercial. Like this, I'll pay the pills. The bills is fine. Obviously I didn't, you know, you,
probably most actors aren't like, I want to be in a commercial character, but then shit, that's like her whole life now. Like if you saw that actress in a TV show, you'd be like, well, fuck his flow on, on law and order. Mayhem. The guy who does the mayhem commercials. He's in like, I think he's in one of the John wick movies and a couple other movies. It's always like whenever I see him, it's like, dude, it's mayhem. I doubt that they meant to sign up for that to be the defining thing of their career. But the,
It's probably they probably like it. Right. Like that'd be like who's going to complain? Like I actually like us and being and friends. It just happens. You know, I accidentally became a character that's so iconic. It's like a part of pop culture. It just happens to be part of commercials like, you know, it can't be that bad. It's worse than not making it at all. You know, I got to imagine better. Do you mean better or do you mean worse? It's it's better.
You said it's worse than not making it It's worse than accomplishing nothing at all in your life I would rather die in obscurity Than be Flo from Progressive Alright, anyway, Glaubersoul Any last Glauber mentions? In German, Glauber...
means a believer or brush maker oh they do frosted animal cookies too i kind of want some that's not really good frosted animal cookies oh it's not isn't that just dunkaroos oh it's just animal cookies with like frosting on but if you guys never had frosted animal cookies with like animal crackers with like the frosting on them no i never heard of that i just eat animal crackers like a normal person they sell them all dude they have like a white and a pink variation of like frosted they're so good they're very good a pink
Pink immediately is a no for me. That's not a food color. Pass. Enough of you. Enough out of you guys. We're done here. Scoring's over. You guys don't appreciate Glowbersalt. I engaged with you a lot about Glowbersalt, just because I didn't already know about it. Yeah, but you didn't appreciate it. You didn't appreciate it. I knew Wade didn't give a shit, but you, I thought I could change you.
I'm right there with you. I said it was probably a billion dollar idea. That's true, actually. Yeah, that's true. You know what? I propose the $1.3 billion idea because that's how much Keebler sold for. All right. All
Alright, we got Wade with shake spear and blah blah blah fucking creams back on the menu, which is very funny. This is very funny. I imagine those are all the points I got since I didn't know. No, you got spay! You got Keebler scouts for them making the Girl Scouts. I subtracted one for dumb cookie and I don't remember what, but I was insulted. Because the big cookie wasn't big enough for you. Right, right, okay.
One for palm smack lick, and then one for table salt. Well done. Bob, you got knock, knock for the deaf, AC mention, toad jewel? Oh, yeah, the Shakespeare quote I did. Oh, right, yes. You got clowber's elves, which got Wade started on Keebler's elves.
So you really sabotage yourself there. Bob, you really got all the, you led to all the points earned this episode. Mirabilite, Bob, that was great. You got one for perfect cleavage. You got minus one for not special, one for solar storage, and then one for mineral oil. I didn't get any points for any of the rest of the discussion of Glauber salt. What do you mean? Mirabilite, perfect cleavage, solar storage, and mineral oil. Those were 40 minutes ago. No, there was,
There was a span! It was a span! The last half hour of shit that we talked about with the... Alright, alright. I love it. I love seeing someone else be salty about the points. Bob, you still have a flag.
Oh, what the hell's happening? Why is he smiling? Oh no. Mark, did you manufacture a tie just so you could spin the wheel? I did not manufacture it. I did not. If it turns out to be one man show, does that mean Mark has to be the one man? Yeah, you and I have to write it and Mark has the, Mark is the one man show. I don't know why I'm excited about this. I'm doing this because I know it's not going to be me. Keep saying that. Keep saying that. Manifest that, Mark. By giving Bob none of the points he deserved this episode, you did this to you. I gave him some.
so many points of exactly the topic that we were discussing you just happened to make dumb things that made me laugh well that's what i do man i should win every episode that's all i think every like everything that he has he mentioned air conditioning perfect cleavage mirabilite he got minus one for not special solar swords and then the mineral idea was towards the end but he had doubts he had doubts about it that was making me the fault is not in our stars but in ourselves okay so i'm not going to contest this one all right here we go
Please be a one-man show. Aw. Wade! Congratulations, Wade. This is the most deserving win I think I've ever had. Wade, you really swept it out from above Bob.
I feel like I should be throwing a flag on Bob's behalf here, but you know, I'm gonna take- What did I- I- Literally, what's to complain about? You- Like, there's not a single topic point in Wade's column. Not one. It's blah blah fucking Shakespeare, creams back on the menu, Keebler Scouts, cookie, and table salt. I guess, yeah, you got one.
for right at the end there that was related to the topic and that's what sealed the chance for this. Meanwhile, Bob's is literally all about the discussion. I'm not saying that it was not about the discussion. I'm saying that I said a lot of things that didn't seem to earn many points. What do you mean? What do you mean? We talked about a lot of Globbersault information. That does not have
He had a lot of confidence. I said that the points were given. I don't know why I'm letting Wade drag me into this. I'm, I was going to let this go. I'm not, I'm not fighting this. Wade is fighting this for some reason. Wade, Wade, do you want to keep fighting it or do you want to give a winner speech? Kind of, but I'll stop, I guess. I just had a genuinely good time today, not participating. And I really feel like I earned this win by letting you all know about Keebler, their controversies, their successes, their failures. And I'm going to let you all know about Keebler.
and they're Girl Scout cookies, apparently. I hope you all feel much more informed. I bite my thumb at thee. All right, well said, well spoken, and well done, well performed. Bob? I didn't know what Glauber Salt was at the start of today's episode, and I feel like one of us who was competing learned a lot about Glauber Salt, really dug into it, and read up, and Googled, and theorized, and played along, and one of us was not so interested,
And I forgot. I forgot how you win this show. And it's not by participating in the show. And that's on me. And, you know, I have no one to blame but myself. And that's okay. I've been weighed. I've been measured. And I've been found wanting. So what can you do? I've also been weighed. You know, if you'd have mentioned, like, the birefringence or the pleochroism of, you know, Glabrasol, maybe you would have done a few more.
It's unremarkable as to those aspects of its minerality. Those are just words related to mineralogy. Did you talk about its conchoidal fracture? You didn't even mention its hardness on the Mohs scale. I literally read about its concho. It's Mohs hardness is like 1.2. It's unremarkable. It still has one.
It still has one. Just because something might be below average does not mean that it's not worth mention. You weren't pushing me to find out why Glaubersalt is interesting and useful. Not that it exists and there are numbers that describe it accurately. What's a hackley fracture? See, you don't even know about hack. I learned more about Glaubersalt than you even knew. You're right. You're right. You're right. It's also known as a jagged fracture.
Obviously. Anyway, good work, Wade. Good episode. I am the very model of a scientist. Solaria.
Anyway, with that, we're going to finish this episode. That quote from Shakespeare, such a lovely, lovely, lovely quote there. Known for his patter songs. Thank you for listening. Be sure to follow the podcast. Check out our merch at distractiblestore.com. D-I-S-T-R-E-S-T-I-B-L-E-S-T-O-R-E dot com. And also check out Bob and Wade at their respective social medias. My name is Mark Blair. We'll see you when Wade hosts the next episode. Have a good day. Podcast out.
© transcript Emily Beynon