Get Mad Libs
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Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This episode...

Wembley Wade repeat watches Leo Rex and asks his pals to fill in his blanks. Mankini Mark soon slumbers his way into mad motoring and invokes the King of the Naga. Bulkish Bob wrecks a super seat with spraying, terrifies our natural satellite, and blames Mark for an earworm. From lizard people to extreme close-ups. Yes! It's time for... Get Mad Libs!

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, which I feel like I've been saying a lot lately. I've been on top for quite a while. Feels good. Wade, that's my whole name. I'm joined as always by my co-hosts and friends, Mark and Bob. Hello, boys. Hello. Unless you said Mark's name first, does that mean that I lose already? Ooh.

It does not, but it does mean I don't have my scoring pad in front of me, so I better get that going. Thanks for reminding me. Can we get him in trouble for that? Let's both throw our flags at once. Three, two, one. Oh, I'm so sorry. They missed the mark. What color is it supposed to be? I have a blue flag.

I don't know, guys. I've got the point scoring right here. I don't know what you guys are trying to challenge me on. Oh, okay. I was going to say he's on a winning streak because I keep trying to chuck Wade the win and hoping he would make me win one day. But I think the ratio of Bob wins when Wade's hosting is 100%. I'm pretty sure. I do not do well when Wade's hosting. I am about 900% sure I did give you the last win and you gave it back to me just now. I don't remember that.

I don't recall. I don't recall. Let's check the score. Because I'm pretty sure the last one I hosted was Philosophy Corner about free will, and you won that, right? By kissing ass. I don't recall. Editors make me lose, so I look better in this moment, but bad in the past. Despite giving Mark's points first, Mark lost. Oh!

Oh, if you want that, you don't need the editor's help. I got you, buddy. No, retroactively, only in the past. Intro words and stuff. I hope you're all doing well out there watching and listening, especially watching.

We know who I'm biased towards. We usually start this off with some small talk, so I guess we'll continue that trend today. How's things goes? I have a harrowing journey, but I'll offer Bob the floor. What type of journey? Harrowing. Oh, okay. Sorry, it ends with a G. I don't have anything that crazy. I... It... Uh...

I broke a toilet seat in the middle of the night and it scared the shit out of me. You thunderous bowel movement. It was an old, old cheap toilet seat that came with the house. And I, it was literally like three in the morning. I got up half asleep to get the baby. And on my way back to bed, I was like, I'll just have a quick pee in the, in the toilet. That'll be fine. And I sat down on the thing and it, in the middle of the dead of the night, it just goes...

Right under my ass. And I just about jumped out of my entire soul. But no one woke up in the rest of the house. It was just my own private experience. I was assuming when you first said you had to get up and go pee, I thought the sheer power of your stream of urine. Ha ha!

shattered the porcelain like glass. I usually don't pee standing up for this exact reason, but I was like, I'll risk it. And I power wash the toilet bowl right in half. I cut a hole in the side of the house once when I was really drunk.

Comes out like one of those water jet CNC machines that cuts titanium. Power wash. It's actually my superpower. If I wear my special underwear that aim it down, I can fly like a rocket ship. Wait, wasn't that actually a bit that we did? No.

That actually wasn't one of us. The man who shits and one of us today who pisses. And it was like a superhero fight between the shit man and piss man or something. Oh, yeah. Good. Good times. Was that three peens or was that distractible? I don't remember anymore. I don't remember.

Turns out that wasn't made up. That's just my life, guys. Oh, OK. All right. Well, whatever my power was, was personal experience as well, unless it's embarrassing. Not shattering seats, but like cleaning toilets and having multiple toilets. Man, I have learned to just sit

and pee no matter what because I've gotten real tired of splash damage. Is it because you guys are so tall so you're so high off the ground that it just falls like rain by the time it hits the floor? Imagine you trying to pee but you're standing on top of a four-story building. That's what it's like for us. And you're trying to hit us with the same size toilet bowl, yeah. Just for reference, okay? I know it's hard to imagine. You're six foot four but your dick starts at four stories up in the air. It's so long you have to arch

yeah even we have to climb a ladder to get to it yeah you could coil it up in your arms and kind of aim it but who has that i throw it up on the dick rack we used to do gymnastics where we'd bounce off of it like a diving board and do a flip actually i don't know why i thought you're gonna say rhythmic gymnastics but our dick was the streamer instead of the streamer just imagine wade his leotard tumbling around i'm imagining i

I'm picturing. Are leotards always leopard print or never leopard print? And I only think that because they start with L-E-O. Always. That's why all Olympians look like leopards. Oh, yeah. I guess they wear those too. That's where the name comes from. Leo leopard tard. Leo leopard. Outfit. Leopard outfit. Obviously. I'm a Leo. You know, a leopard. Ha ha ha.

i'm a virgo you know a virgin you're a kid but wouldn't that be impressive it's like the inverse of the immaculate conception that's why you should sit down to have sex instead of say it it's very dangerous it comes out like one of those water jets that cuts titanium kind of watch out anything that comes out it's the same pressure it's crazy so you can't control that you can't like

put some kind of nozzle on the end of that. Now, I can turn it down, but there's sort of a floor on that that doesn't get down to safe levels with normal controls. I get you. You got to have special gloves. I see.

What's your small talk, Mark? Oh, you know, me driving again. For those who don't know, I've been bouncing back and forth between Texas to, uh, for movie stuff, movie stuff, TM. I went out there yesterday, 5.20 a.m. flight, got up at three to the airport. That was fine. I didn't get much sleep, but four hours, five hours, something like that. So enough for like one sleep cycle. So I go there, great trip, very productive. I didn't get to bed late because I was, I was working and talking with people. I get to bed at

I set an alarm for 3.30. My flight's at 6 a.m., by the way. The airport's 30 minutes away. Two hours before, very responsible of me. I wake up at 3.20-ish, right before my alarm. I look over at my phone like, ah,

like ah 10 more minutes to snooze i blink it's 4 45 oh no i swear to god i just blinked and my flight departs at six airport 30 minutes away i thank the person at the front desk i didn't get her name but she was so sweet because it was the same person that i checked in with that i checked out with and i told her she was like breakfast at six and i was like i've got to be out before then i was like oh no while you burk it to sleep and i was like i will and so i'm

I told her what my flight was and I'm sprinting out of the elevator and she's like, oh, hey, you're late. And I'm like, I know. Just leave the keys here. And I was like, I don't think I'm going to make it. And she's like, believe in my car for fifty eight, I think.

And I take, you know, an extra few seconds because I wanted to like change my phone. Usually it's like avoid toll roads. But I was like, fuck it. Let's toll it, road it up. So I take the time to switch that. But then the navigation is like, it's the same road. Oh, neat. So I didn't save any time. That delay, I hit every red light, every second.

single red light. And I know it's because I took the extra 30 seconds to change that setting. I'm not joking. Every red light. There was no one on the road. There was not a soul out because it's it's 5 a.m. and there's no one else. And I look around all these beautiful Dallas streetlights, not a sensor in sight. They're all like archaic 1950s tech where it's just a clock.

Wait 30 seconds. I hit every single one and half of them were right as it was turning yellow. And then I get on. And because Texas roads are just a nightmare. I mean, I live in LA. I know nightmare roads, Texas roads are worse. Like the highway on ramp off wrap. The whole system is messed up. If you have ever driven in Texas, I bet you're proud of that for some reason. It's awful. You know who you are. You don't even get the Californians. Like you take the four or five. You're

The numbers are all different, random, odds, evens. There's no structure. Three numbers, one number, two numbers. Every road's a toll road. Better be careful. And so I'm gunning it and I take the wrong exit. So I go, fuck, as I swerve across four lanes of empty traffic to the other exit that I wasn't supposed to go to.

do you turn around? And I'm like, okay, I'll just, it's an on-ramp. I'll get back on. I'll get on the highway. I'll be zooming. It's no problem. It goes off because of course it does. It's a highway. It's like an off-ramp. You turn and it goes back onto the highway, but it doesn't go back on the highway. Cause you go on the highway highway and then immediately off to a service road. I hit a red light. Oh,

It was one last red light that I fucking hit and it was the longest one. And I'm looking at a clock. I haven't gotten... I'm like half a mile from my hotel. It is taking me 10 minutes. It is 5.08 by the time I am...

just about getting on the highway it takes 25 minutes there in my souped up dodge charger that the rental guy gave me that i'm three over the speed limit so i'm going 73 because at least it's 70 miles an hour there and then i i do the thing where i get in the rental place it's 5 25 throw the keys at the lady well i leave them in the car i don't throw them at the lady but imagine if i did

And I get in there. I think it's at the terminal, but Dallas Fort Worth is the airport. And it's a nightmare if you've ever been there. I've been to that airport a lot. It sucks. Yeah. At least I was like, okay, they have a good tram system. So it probably has a stop at the rental place, not buses. Guess what I see as I'm running up to the bus stop. A string of red lights between where you are and the terminal that the bus has to hit. It might as well be. It's my bus driving off. My fucking bus just, I was going terminal D and it's like, I see a big D and I literally do the thing like, what?

Doesn't stop. Everyone else at the bus stop just looks at me and goes, and there's not many people, but there are people waiting. And here I go.

yeah who is that guy i wait another 10 minutes 5 35 i get on this bus and i'm like okay i'm on everyone else taking their time bus driver packing luggage i'm primed and ready there and it takes 10 minutes to get to the airport it's not terrible but when you're this far behind my again 10 minutes 5 35 i arrive at the airport flight leaves at six i'm like okay

Terminal D. And then it's like, boom, everyone's getting off. If you're in gates 22 to 40 something, I'm gate 21.

Two minutes, everybody gets off. I'm looking at, I'm staring this clock in the face at 538. We move 539. I get out. I have TSA pre-check. So I'm like, I'm ready to go. Here we go, baby. Where is it? Not open too early in the morning. Something like that. It was just no pre-check. That always happens. But I look at the security and it's empty. Thank fuck. It's empty. There's no one in line. And I'm like, okay, where do I go? I had the two.

Two TSA ladies are staring me as I route the turnstile back and forth and back and forth. I swear I was in there for a minute. And I get in there, and it's beautiful. And it's like, okay, everyone check me out. She gave me like a little TSA pre-check. Like, oh, we don't have it open, but you can put this. You don't have to take your shoes off, but you still have to do all the other stuff. I'm like...

Thank you, I guess. And so I pack all my things. And by the time my stuff is out of the x-ray machine, my phone is ringing, like just ringing nonstop. And so I don't even put my laptop back in. I slap it under my arm. I throw my book bag, my backpack, my book bag, because I'm going to school, my book bag, my backpack, and I'm like,

And I answer the phone. It's the gate agent asking where I am. And I'm hauling ass through the airport. It is like it's 545 or something like that. And I know the doors close 10 minutes before boarding, right? That's like a deal. Normally. I get up. She's calling me like, where are you? I'm like, I'm two gates away. Wait for me. Wait for me. And then I see her on the phone like down there. And she's like, oh, OK. Click. So I get up there and I'm like, I made it. I made it. So they're like.

All right, go. I thought that would be like some fanfare, like, oh, you did it. And so I scan my pass. I go halfway down the jet bridge. My backpack that I didn't zip up unfolds completely because it's one of those backpacks that folds like this. My my tiger bomb muscle cream rolls on rolls down comically the jet bridge and

Tiger bong muscle cream? Tiger balm. You know, tiger balm. You've never had tiger balm? You know about tiger balm? Balm? B-L-B-A-L-M? Oh, no. There's a joke in the Austin Powers movies about it. Oh, tiger balm. It's for sore muscles and stuff like that or sore back or stuff. It's good for it. But we're rolling down the runway. And so I let go of my roller carry-on to go get it. And I chase it down. And my roller carry-on sails past me and goes, like, down as well.

And I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. So I scramble. I just grab everything I can. And I burst onto the plane, like heaving, breathing. And the two flight attendants are looking at me like, welcome aboard. I'm like, I made it. I said to them again, waiting for someone to be like, all right, cool. I was expecting like, can you help me gate check this bag? He's like, oh, there's plenty of room. And I look in the plane's like half empty. And it's just like, there's tons of space. Everyone was, and we didn't take off for another 30 minutes.

I felt really stupid. We were waiting for fuel. When the gate agent called you, she was like, hey, Mr. Fishbach, you were like, I'm coming, I'm coming. She was like, oh, I was just going to tell you, we're like 20 minutes behind schedule, so you got lots of time. Oh, there you are. That's why everyone was so befuddled by your exasperated appearance. I burst into that plane, eh?

heaving breath like I had been running or speed walking the entire time with all my shit and well the running speed limit's 10 what were you going 11 I don't know man I don't know but yeah so harrowing journey by the skin of my teeth except not and no one clapped you were set up for failure because the the woman at the hotel established

a hell of an energy level on your way out the door and you were like, alright, everyone's gonna meet this! Every subsequent person had a completely normal energy level for you and you were just like, bled down repeatedly as you encountered these normies. No, she was lovely. I can't fault her ever. She was very nice. I gave you a point for the meme where the guy has like the two buttons and he's like sweating and rubbing his forehead and the buttons are be late or speed and the next frame is you going two miles over the speed limit. Ha ha ha!

I can't speed. I can't do it. It's not a bad day. It's just really funny. Sometimes I'm going 70 and a truck pulls up, so I'm like, all right, I'm going to pass him. No.

And then I see people getting behind me. I'm like, oh, shit. I better go 71 and a half. So, yeah, I don't know what it is. I just can't do it. I can't speed. Hey, nothing wrong with following the law, man. Like a nerd. Anyway, now I'm here. That was that was literally like an hour before recording or a few hours. Those are this morning. Fun. Yeah, because I texted our group chat and I was like, hey, we go in today. And you were like back from the airport very soon. You texted? Yeah, he texted. What?

We texted, comrade. Oh, yeah. No, I do see that. I thought Mark initiated those texts. I didn't realize that Wade had. I'm super responsible. All right. That's all I got. Great small talk, boys. Great small talk. I feel like those were two very different kinds of small talk that we just went through. Yeah. Mark's got points for a few different things here. And Bob, your points are all either toilet or pee pee related. That sounds right.

Today's episode, I don't know if it'll be a long one, a short one. I don't know how long this is going to go because we haven't really done this. I've had this one on the list for a while. You guys remember the old, like, I think you must have done this in school. I did this in school where the teacher had a book of masterclasses

Mad Libs. Remember Mad Libs? You did those in school? We did a couple. It was like fun days or like, you know. We learned stuff in our school. We had Mad Lib either days or at least we would do like a couple of them here and there. We had Mad Lib month. You don't remember? In fifth grade, our teacher read the first Harry Potter book to us at one point during class. So like it better have been English.

I don't remember fifth grade, man. That was 300 years ago. Wait, do they even have English that early? Or do they have subjects that early? No, we didn't have English back then. Just ask him. We still had higher English. You know, you meant English class from the moment you said it better have been English. I was like, who's learning Spanish in fifth grade?

Why would the book not be in English? What happened to you guys in fifth grade? Well, we had arts and crafts, reading time, nap time, and that was it. And English Harry Potter. In Spanish, I got to watch Lion King four different times throughout the years because every Spanish teacher was like, you know what we should watch? Lion King in Spanish. That's weirdly...

specific and consistent. I wonder if they only had one movie that was like a kid's movie that was our learning ability. That's the one that the entire school district owned. They all just took turns. Like, I'm going to teach my kids Lion King in Spanish. Aren't you teaching Spanish six? It's not a bad way to learn because it's like if you consume the same piece of media over and over, you do like really understand that media. It's not all of it, but.

There's a guy who learned Spanish by watching Shrek over and over. I think they watched Shrek a hundred times. He didn't like Shrek, but it was the only one that had like, it was either learning Spanish or English. Does he speak Spanish with a Scottish, a bad Scottish accent like Mike Myers does for Shrek? Yeah, probably. I don't know. I don't know what the Spanish speaker did, but yeah, it was effective. He learned pretty much everything, could recite the whole movie and would know exactly what was happening as I was being said. And it's like understanding was very there.

But the only person who's watched Shrek that much is my mother. She loves the Shrek movies or did. She was playing it always on loop. And so maybe she was doing the same thing. Learning another weird thing. I learned Spanish or other languages in general, I guess. Maybe you have rhymes like green eggs and ham. It's not Sam. I am. It's Juan Ramon. No, my ghost. The not of Juan Ramon. The biggest the not of Los Huevos Verdes con Hamon. Green eggs and ham is Juan Ramon instead of Sam. I am.

That's actually impressive. I'm shocked you remember that. Stuck with me because I was like, that's not Sam. Is Juan Ramon Sam I am in Spanish? And I was like, I don't think so. I don't think that's how that works. I think it's just Juan Ramon. It's just the name. Anyway, we're going to Mad Lib it up. So I've written out my own sentence paragraphs here. Hopefully it works and it's good for Mad Libbin if it

not, then, well, I found these online. It's not my fault. I have to say the one thing that's really going through my mind right now is the way Mad Libs generally work is you're going to ask us for different categories of words by just praying to God that I don't give you the wrong kind of word in the wrong category, because that's just going to be a scathing review of how stupid I am in English. So I'm not going to lie. I had to look up some stuff to remember because there's what I've got on here. I've got verbs.

Nouns. Adjectives. Occasionally a creature slash animal. A proper noun. Did I say adverb already? Locations. Stinkily. But like, I was trying to remember. I was like, what kind of words are adverbs? I know that they describe a verb, but like what kind of words are examples of it? Like I had to go through and like relearn some of this stuff. So I always dread the past participle slot in Mad Libs. Gets me every time. I think I dodged that one for us. Thank you.

We don't have to worry about conjunction, junction. What's our function? Are there any Pluperfect subjunctive cases? Not specifically that you guys have to give me. Do you know what a Pluperfect function is? What did you say? Pluperfect subjunctive. What were you learning in second grade? You can have been having had to suck it if you don't know what a Pluperfect subjunctive is. Look, fifth grade, a breeze. Second grade, they nailed us with all this heavy English stuff.

Yeah, like Harry Potter and the like. That was fifth grade. Second grade, Tale of Two Cities. My first, second, and third grade experiences in a school called Calvary Christian Academy. And the only thing I remember learning there is the Bible and also math.

That's it. I don't remember anything else. We took math quizzes, like just nonstop math speed quizzes. And I just always wanted to win. Most of the time I did because there were like three of us. Can I just say I've had this in my head for a long time and what you said just brought this to the forefront. It's only kind of related to what you actually said. Calvary.

and cavalry. There are a lot of churches and Christian schools that are called like what you said, Calvary Elementary School. Calvary Christian Academy. And I was always like, what does horse-mounted soldiers do?

why are there so many soldiers on horseback in these churches and school? I just Googled it. And I, is it embarrassing that I didn't know the difference between cavalry and Calvary? I didn't either, to be honest with you. No, really. I always thought Calvary was like one of those weird, like English spellings, like, like how Colonel is spelled colonial, but like,

Yeah, no, apparently that's those are different things and cavalry and Calvary. I believe it's the name of the hill that the crucifixion took place on. Is that it? As far as I've Googled, that is correct. See, that education paid off. What a happy memory to name something after. Well, just wait till you hear about the rest of the religion, man. It gets nuts. Oh, boy. Can't wait to learn about the Easter Bunny.

oh yeah the way this works i'm gonna give you both just like one on your own to start and i have an option for you do you guys want to work together on these and like i'll one of you'll give me a noun the next i'll give like the next thing so on and so forth or do you want this to be like one paragraph for each of you because i can go either way competitive who's better or is it all for the same mad lib that's the question that i'm asking i've got multiple mad libs oh we might as well work together and then we'll get point for the which one makes us laugh after we read it all

That's fair. All right. So I'm going to do two that are just individual first because they're just small examples. There's only two things that you give anyway. And then we'll go back and forth to the other one. So, Mark, I'll start with you for this one. I need a verb from you. What tense of verb?

I will adjust tense to make it make sense. So you can just give me a verb and I'll spray. Spray. I need a noun from you. From me? Yep. This is just a practice one. I've got one for Bob. This is just a practice. Then we'll do a whole one. Okay. A noun, you say? Yep. For the listeners, he's looking frantically around his office. Damn.

Person, place, or thing. I know a noun is bus. Bus. I'm going to assume you just have a hose in your hand. Here's the practice sentence. Mark was determined. He was going to spray the bus no matter what. I don't know if I like that. There's a lot of context in which that could make sense. Yeah, I was just on a bus this morning.

He could be cleaning the bus. He could be peeing on the bus. Yeah, I'm going to cut this bus in half. He could be tagging the bus with graffiti. There's all kinds of things he could be doing to that bus. All right. Well, that's that's your practice, Bob, your practice. I also need a verb from you. Bounce. And a noun. I guess I wasn't too creative on the practice ones. Crate.

Bob knew better than to bounce the crate, but he did it anyway. That's just how life is sometimes. Hey, see? Practice. That's a warm-up. That's how it's gonna work. It's gonna be just that funny the entire time. Get ready. I, listen, I'm not a Mad Lib expert. I wrote these and I was like, I think these will work. Ha ha. All you chuckle fucks out there, pull over. You're about to lose everything. This is like that other episode where Mark said it. You're gonna shit. You better get on the toilet right, right fast. Except for being scary. It's so funny you'll die.

This episode will either be called the funniest episode of Distractible ever or the biggest flop on Distractible ever. No, if it's if it turns out poorly, I already have the name and I'm really excited about it. If it sucks, we call it Bad Libs.

Right? Yeah, then people will think we're being real political. It'll get a lot of controversy. Really crank up the numbers on this one. That's okay. The next episode we'll call Bad Pubs and then they'll think, ah, okay, they're balancing it out. No, I see what you're going for. That just doesn't... I have a feeling I already know which title we're going to go with today. Okay. Which one of you wants to go first? Now, you're going to be going back and forth, but which one wants to give me a word first? I'll go first. Okay. Mark was faster, therefore Bob, you get to go first.

All right. Bob, I need an adjective.

Uh-oh. Sharp. Mark, I need a noun. Tongue. Bob, I need a creature or animal. Liger. Mark, I need a verb. Uh, sour? No, verb. I know words, guys. Look. Sour can be a verb. Listen, don't write yourself off. Oh, yeah, yeah. Too sour? Yeah, sour. You can sour on something. You can sour. I go sour. Uh, Bob, I need a noun. Shoe. Uh, Mark, I need another noun. Cloud. Cloud.

Why? What? Just you sound so distressed. You just sound really concerned about it. I know. I'm real relaxed, guys. I'm real relaxed. Bob, I need a verb. Drive. Mark, adjective. Sour. Sour.

I know that Bob a noun sour a sour no that's not a thing pineapple okay couple of these I went with a nice like spoopy theme because you know it's just Halloween would just happen

as of the airing of this episode not too long ago and I was like, man, it'd be fun to have like some remnants of some scary stories. You didn't say that. You could have said that before and we would have gotten you the scariest thing. No, I don't want to influence it prior, but this is one of them. So let's tell this scary story. Walking down the sharp halls, Mark knew he was in trouble.

Quickly, he drew his tongue and prepared for the fight of his life. Before him was a liger. In order to defeat this opponent, Mark would have to be on his A-game. He soured and swung his shoe with all his might, but his opponent used his cloud to parry. Quickly, Mark drove with his sour pineapple, and his opponent was no more. You didn't tell us it would be spooky! We can make this scary! We did it before! They all aren't. That one was. Well, they all will be now. They all will be, yeah.

If anyone knows scary, it's us. I can just feel the energy of this just...

100% hidden. If anyone has watched the two-sentence horror stories, they know what they're about to be in for. Bob gave me pineapple, so it's Mark's turn. Mark, I need an adjective. Scary. Thank you, man. You're welcome, friend. Bob, a verb. Murder. Mark, I need a noun. Ectoplasm. Oh, snap. Bob, I need a plural noun. Chainsaws. Mark, I need a verb. Scary.

Why? That gave me repeats. I think you mean scare, but yes. It's a verb, not an adjective this time. Oh. No, I don't mean scare. I know what words are and what they are, guys. Stop saying I don't. Oh, the rumor to end right now. Uh, what would you want again? A verb. A verb.

Spray! Bob, I need an adjective. Scary. All right, man. I love the scary repeat. It's a scary story. Mark, I need an adjective. Scary.

Bob, I need a noun. The moon. Moon, I guess. No, gotta keep the... The moon. If it works, put the in there. If it doesn't work, it's fine. Okay. Mark, I need a verb. Verbs are action words. We do verbs. Scare. Right. Okay, man. I'm sensing a theme here. Bob, I need a location. Ah.

man pick right behind you all right i'll use marks but i get the point for it uh right behind you there you go no that's a good one that's mine i thought of that this feels like a tale all of a sudden told by a like elementary school student with the scary scary scary scared um but you know let's go with it descending the scary staircase bob knew time was of the essence he murdered his ectoplasm

Knowing it would aid him in the consuming darkness. In the distance, he heard a noise that sounded like chainsaws, but it couldn't be. Not down here. Bob sprayed. Knowing it was his only chance. Passing through scary rooms, Bob pressed onward for what he could only describe as scary moon. Ha ha ha!

He scared Tornad as fast as he could, finally finding himself right behind you. Oh, God, it gave me chills. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Dude, the way you sprayed and murdered your ectoplasm. Oh, cripes. Okay. I want an AI to read that and someone on TikTok to fill the gaps with random stock footage. That's really going to amp that story up. It's already out there. Just giving some points here while I remember so that you guys don't let it worry your points for. I don't want that happening.

I know. Oh, yeah. Good point for. Yeah. How'd you know my voice? Because I'm just that smart.

That was a tough laugh. I need to settle down. How many audience members did we lose on that one? I don't know. There's a good number that definitely just shit their cars and then flipped over into a ditch and exploded in a car accident. It's happening. You've been warned. People wonder why I always am like, editors blow me up. It's because of the SpongeBob moments when Squidward rolled down a hill and... Man, that's just my humor. So funny to me.

Dude, you fuck... Can I just say, you, Mark...

You suck. What did I do? What the fuck? Now here? No, listen, the edutainment episode that we did with that goddamn chess song. Oh, I see. Yeah. I looked it up and now I found that account and I watched a bunch of those now, but also the very evil opening song has been stuck in my head for like a week and a half. I didn't want to, I like, I didn't want to do it too bad, but did you see the Halloween one? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, that one was pretty good, too. You're not going to sing along with me, then I'm just going to stop. I'm trying to get it out of my life, and singing it doesn't help. I tried that. Well, now you know the Stafford Gambit. And if I ever play chess, I'll just yell Stafford Gambit the whole time while I lose. I was going to read your moves because you're going to just be bopping. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's the thing, though. I don't remember the chess part. I'll just be like, very evil. Oh, but and then move a random piece. And my opponent is like, what the fuck? Checkmate. You lose. Like, what the? No, it's going to throw him off because he's like, ah, he's going to do the Stafford Gambit. And then you start playing random moves like he's a genius. Bobby Fisher.

Mark, I believe you're up first this time. I was up first last time. Because Bob took right behind you. Is that right? That is true. Mark, I need a creature or animal. Anantashesha. Bless you. What? The Anantashesha. Let me make sure I'm pronouncing that right. Anantashesha. I got so close to that. Are you kidding me? I was two letters off from guessing how that was spelled. Anantashesha. What is that? Oh, you don't know about Anantashesha. Gotta be from a game because that's not a real thing. No, you don't.

don't know about Anantashesha. Wink. Oh, Bob, I need a location. Inside. That counts, right? That's a place. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Mark, a verb?

action word mark we do verbs we do them explode i don't know where i get my ideas from they're just bob i need a verb frighten mark i need another verb froth uh bob i need a plural noun toilets mark i need a verb spill mark's in a very liquid state of mind right now well if you knew i'm not to shush uh bob i need a verb lubricate mark i need an adverb what's that

It's like an adjective, but it's for the verb instead of the noun. They usually end in L-Y. Oh, right. You're right. Scarily. Bob, I need an emotion. Schadenfreude. That's a good one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a complex one. All right, here we go. Oh, distractible audience. Mark knows all about you. Browsing on his phone one day, Mark found a post that made him...

A viewer had seen an anantachesha inside that could explode. Knowing that it was his best chance to promote the podcast, Mark frightened to the place as fast as he could to froth the anesthesia, making sure to film the whole thing. When he got there, he found only toilets, but Mark was unfazed. He spilled as much as he could and went straight to the subreddit to post his video.

Seeing Mark's dedication, the audience lubricated scarily, helping Mark feel schadenfreude like he always wanted.

I thought OnlyFans was going to be the deepest you went for promoting stuff, but man. I yearn for the day you guys are willing to go as far as me. Schadenfreude is pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune. Well, they're the ones who lubricated at all your spilling. Mark knows all about you, audience. That's great. Bob, you gave me Schadenfreude, right?

Does that mean Mark, you're up first again? Oh, big surprise. It's really affecting the score here. Let me guess. You want a verb from Mark. I don't. I want a noun. Gun. Jeez. Gun.

Bob, I need a verb. Throw. Mark, I need an adjective. Deadly. No, it's never. Dead. Bob, I need a noun. Podcast. Mark, I need an adverb. Giving him the tough ones. Tantalizingly. Bob, a noun. Drink coaster. Adjective for Mark. Lethal. Bob, a verb. Polish. Mark, a location. Purgatory. Bob, a verb. Berate. Mark, a noun. Burate.

Gun! And Bob, one more verb. Mislead. All right. Cars. Bob had been all about his passion for cars, but now he has a new love. Gun!

People pass by in droves to see Bob throwing away on his new dead podcast as tantalizingly as he can. His dedication is inspiring. Lately, Bob has been experimenting by using drink coasters, and the more lethal they are, the better. If you don't enjoy the view of seeing Bob polish, head on down to Purgatory any time, day or night, and you're sure to see him doing what he loves. Rumor has it that he will berate a gun next, but who knows?

Don't miss out. And when you see him, tell Bob he misled like nobody you've ever seen. That's my Bob. That's our Bob. Misleading like no one's ever seen before, man. That sounds like what I do. I want to see you berate a gun. I can be very derisive. For the next one, give us a theme. We'll stick to that theme. I don't know if I want to do that. Okay, never mind.

I have dumb ideas. If you establish a theme, I will stick to it, Mark, because I assume you get to go first and you pick all the verbs. All of these I had originally just had going to have you guys do one, one, one, one. This was the one I was going to have you both work together on. So I'm curious how it's going to go. That's all I'm giving you. Per usual, Mark goes first.

I'm ready. Shocker. Mark, I need an adjective. Vivacious. I spelled that one right. Bob, I need an adverb. Sumptuously. Mark,

Mark, I need a verb. Tantalizing. Is that a verb? Tantalize is a verb. You can tantalize. Oh, wait, no. It's, wait, verb or adjective? Which one did you say? Verb, but that works. You're not tantalizing Lee. You're just tantalizing. Tantalize. Sorry, man. I get verbs and adjectives mixed up so much. I don't know if that has to do with my Korean learning because verbs and adjectives in Korean are the same thing.

And it's hard to explain, but they are. I need another verb from you, Bob. Sauce. Good sauce something. I sauce the halibut before I serve it to Gordon Ramsay. You're right. Mark adjective? Adjective. It's a descriptive word. Sauce.

Sopping. Oh, man. Bob, another verb. Dribble. Mark a noun. Hole. Bob, another verb. Smack. Mark a verb. Undulate. Bob, a location. The bedroom. Mark an adverb. In.

Man, Mark's theme is syllables. I'm trying hard. I want to win. Bob, a verb. A gesticulate. Mark, another adverb. Pathetically. Oh. Bob, a location. The other bedroom. Mark, a proper noun. Go.

God. Bob, a location. The other, other bedroom? No, no, no, no, no, no. The den that we call a bedroom that's technically not an enclosed space. Where the day bed is. Yeah, obviously. It's for guests. All of that is my thing. Mark, I need a noun. Bucket.

All right, here we go. This is a long one. I can't wait for it. It's gonna be good. Here's the thing. Wade needs to know he's vivacious. It's time. For too long have people sumptuously tantalized without telling the man it's time to sauce. And don't get me wrong, Wade is sopping, but his twirls need to be pointed out.

Just the other day, he was dribbling a hole when all of a sudden he seemed to lose his mind and smack nonstop. Most people who undulate around the bedroom do it tumultuously, but not Wade. No. He has to gesticulate pathetically all the way to the other bedroom with no regard for anyone. I'm sorry to be the one to share this, but it had to be said. Why couldn't he be more like God? Oh, well.

Maybe next time they'll just leave him at the den we call a bedroom that's technically not an enclosed space so we don't have to worry about buckets.

I didn't know there was going to be your intervention, Wade. I didn't know that we needed to have this meeting. I just need to go to the den that we call a bedroom that's technically not an enclosed space. I hope someday somebody says that obviously I'm sopping. God damn. Dude, I just wanted to dribble the hole and y'all had to get involved. Look, I feel you. Just not in the bedroom or the other bedroom, man. Just anywhere but that. Peen house won't be the same if you do that. You know, it could have been. It could have been. Why couldn't you be more like God?

All right, let me add some more points over here. I'm going to go back through. He's fixing the score. He's changing it. I'm just going to stare at you while you do math. I marked things on the sheet that I wanted to put points on here for, so I'm just marking them down. What the fuck? That whole time, huh? I'm really going through here on my points, man. He's fixing it. He's changing it. I was just trying to work out how to look more sopping.

I don't think that's working, Bob. I don't know. I don't know what that look is. I think it's, you know, you ever see a guy and you're just like, that guy looks wet. Yeah, actually. But I don't know how to accomplish that look. How complex is the math he's doing? I have to write the words you guys got points for. You guys did not pick small syllable words, man. I thought you were writing them down as you did. Maybe he's not stopping. I don't want to write down the din we call a bedroom that's technically not an enclosed space.

You have to write the whole thing. Maybe I just won't get a point for that one. Yeah, that sounds... Actually, you know what? Yeah. You could just write the acronym for it. To Denwick... To Denwick...

Editors blow me up. I like how we literally just blew through Anantashisha and I know further anything on that one. Nah, Anantashisha. There's many names for the world serpent, but I read about a lot from SCP 3000, which is a great SCP entry. My pen is dying at the worst time.

How much are you writing? A lot, man. How many pens are you clearing? You already wrote them before. Why don't you just like initial our names by the word you already wrote? I typed them before. I didn't write them before. That's true. You need a written record. Yeah, you need a written. That's the bylaws. That's the bylaws. I hope it does all this. And at the end, he's like, and Mark, you have four points. All right, here we go. Well done. I hope it was fun. Hopefully you all enjoyed watching and listening. Hopefully you guys had fun playing. I'm going to go through the points here. Uh,

Bob I'm gonna go through your points first Oh

Bob, you got points for toilet, tall dicks, more pee pee, explain, murdered ecto, scary moon, lubricate, dead podcast, drink coaster, berate, sumptuous, sauce, smack maybe, smack? Smack was one. Bedroom, bedrooms, and more bedrooms. Then we call a bedroom, it's technically not an enclosed space, but I did what you said and I wrote a little acronym, but my pen was dying, so it's hard to tell us what it says.

Mark, you got points for being on the edge of sleep today.

Thanks, buddy. Vindictive red lights, book bag, two button meme for speed, sour and cloud, and on to Shesha, scarily froth gun, purgatory, sopping, vivacious, I think, and God. I get the God point. Bob, you finished with 15. Oh, that's more than I would have guessed. That's a lot, Mark. I'm probably not that much. Mark, you had 14.

It was really the bedrooms at the end, just bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, and then the den that finished it off. And I might have given more points to one of you or two of you, but I ran out of time because I felt like I was taking too long as it was. So that's where it ends. Bob, you're today's winner. Yeah. You're a mad liver. That's what they call me. You want to give a winner's speech? Sure, sure. Mark thinks he's cool with his beanbag thing. Two can play at that game. Yeah, mine's...

Oh my god, you have a hard plastic wrist rest? I mean, it's like gel. This is why it's important that I won, because look at who's in charge of us. Look at the wrist rest he uses on his desk. Look at his life. Look, I replaced my wrist rest, so this is my new one, right? I just want you to note the color. It's darker. It's from all my sweat. Ew. Okay, there's a little bit of a... There's a... That's Frank's red hot. That's a red hot stain on it.

You literally put that shit on everything. Amy hates it when I leave, like, because I'll dip my cheese in it. It's not a metaphor, literal. And then I'll, you know, set the cup on the counter and it dries and it forms this really, really, really interesting...

crackle pattern that is really difficult to wash out so it is i do i do do my own dishes i want everyone to know but you know sometimes i'm not busy and i you know i can't this isn't my loser speech this would be a hell of a loser great winner speech anyway uh it feels good and mark's life is covered in dots of red hot because that's just what kind of a loser he is i don't have any frank's red hot spilled on any of my stuff

Yeah, I don't. I'm just checking. That's it. That's my winner speech. Mark, loser speech. I was robbed. And I think if we look carefully over the points and the words allocated, it was unfair from the start. I was set up to lose. I will chase down anyone who supported my opponent and I will show them true terror.

Stern but fair. I like it. All right. Well, congrats on the win, Bob. Thank you both for participating. You good? I'm great. Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will host. Mark and I will be free to not have to worry about the responsibility of being creative, at least until the episode starts. It'll be great. Follow us on our respective channels, Mark and Markiplier, Bob and MySkirm, me at Minion777 or LordMinion777. We have merch at distractiblestore.com. See you all in the next one. If there is one. If one. Odd.

Oddcast out. What do you mean?