Big or Small (Part 2)
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This podcast is brought to you by PayPal. The discussions on this podcast may not always be the smartest, but you know what is smart? The new PayPal. I don't have a joke. I literally use PayPal all the time. I actually also just use it. I don't know how to make that funny, though. Like, all my funny stories are about when things don't work. You know, when a fridge destroys my entire house. That sort of thing. It's okay, guys. You could just say that PayPal is smart. That's fine. No, no, no. It's like a money catapult that throws your money at...

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This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. What happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best become besties. Let's taste the new Coca-Cola Oreos, your sugar limited edition. Mark, do you have yours? Are you excited? They sent us these special, and then we're going to try them. I've been in an undisclosed location, kind of in a... Sucks to be you. Cheers, Bob. Yeah. All right.

I actually haven't had like a tasty treat in a while. It's been... It's like if Oreos was a drink, honestly. It's kind of an unexpected flavor, but it's almost like kind of like the icing of an Oreo. What do you think, Mark? Editors, put in the sound of me glugging. It's great, guys. So good. Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Ah.

Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. Copyright 2024, Mondelez International Group. This episode is brought to you by Accounting+. Here's a story that's 100% true. And it's about how accounting is a great choice of career. Here's the facts. With accounting, you'll have flexibility, great pay, and the kind of lifestyle you've always dreamed of. It's a lifestyle that's less math and spreadsheets and more traveling...

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode...

Biblical Bob gets baristerial, then beats the boys into choosing between lilliputian and large. Miffed Mark loves lava, has a ball-bashing buddy, and drowns in pet poo. Waggish Wade has a pro-saver, avoids penny farthings, and loves it loose, never tight. From delayed dog doctors to popping pills. Yes! It's time for Big or Small Podcast.

Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. All right, let's do a fun episode, everybody. Keep it up. Keep it light. Bone! I like the directional jazz hands. I call those jizz hands. Bone!

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to your favorite podcast. Boy, I hope Wade's video from one second before I started this introduction is included in this episode. Nope. No. Yeah, welcome back. This is Distractible, the show where I'm the host because I won last week, and my two friends who are here with me will be competing to win this week, and then they host the next one, and there's points, and we write them down on things, and...

The rules don't really matter because, let's be honest, most of us forget them halfway through each episode and just arbitrarily do whatever the hell we want. I mean, it's not arbitrary, though, because that's against the rules. But I forget the rules exist, so maybe that doesn't matter. Anyway, my name's Bob. I'm the host. And my competitors for today, as per usual, Mark and Wade. Say hi, Mark and Wade. Hi, I'm Mark. Hi, Mark and Wade. Oh.

Oh. Well, at least one of you can follow instructions. Yeah, Wade. Follow instructions, nerd. Ha! Loser! I can't hear very well because I'm bald right now. You dweeb. Look at this. Wade, look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Pull your card to the side of the room and look what I'm doing. Can I milk your thumb? Milk it. Editors, make both of them blow up. Make both of them explode and the bathtub from way back.

The next part we usually do is small talk. It's been like a week since we hung out and did this. So some cool stuff must have happened, right? What's going on? Uh, Chica's fine. Oh, good. That's convincing. Be very careful with that word. That combination of words. My dogs are fine. Did not end well for me. My dog is fine. Chica's fine. She's fine. Just say it at least five more times. It'll be way more convincing. God, this is an ugly face.

That's a good one. That one's a special gift for the viewers, I guess. Well, I only care about them. We know that. We learned that. Pulled over for the thumb milking. They stay for the Wade face. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Listen, she's fine. She's had diarrhea for a few days in a row. And then this morning.

She puked and she puked undigested food from the night before. So I'm like, I looked that up and it's like possibly an obstruction or either way food isn't passing through the stomach, which is a problem. So I had to take her to a vet. Going to an emergency vet is the biggest challenge.

time sink you could possibly ever imagine. I called one place up first and they went through the whole process of taking all the information, like getting everything written down or like a name, you know, all the, for the records. And it took like 10 minutes to get through all of it.

because he didn't understand what I was saying. And then at the end of that, he said, all right, the current wait time is about three hours. And that's from the moment that you walk in the door. And I'm like, that doesn't sound like an emergency. That doesn't sound anything like that. So I go to this other place, I call ahead and they're like, yeah, we're open, you know, not busy right now, but the doctor doesn't come in for another hour. And I was like, perfect. I'll go there, get there early. I'll be first in line. And I was, but then I waited an hour even earlier

after the doctor arrived there and then I was in the waiting room for like a long time and then the doctor rolls in I didn't see he came in through the back door and secret entrance apparently but I go in the subdivided room and then I'm waiting there with Chica for another hour and then they finally come in and there's like okay and then they take her and I'm waiting in the waiting room again for another two hours

And meanwhile, I'm just like, well, she is just back there. Can't can't you come out? It can't be like constant testing. And then, you know, finally, they call me into the room again. They're like, oh, we got the results. And I go into the room where she's not there. Sit there for another 30 minutes.

in the room before someone finally comes out and says yeah here's uh here we didn't find anything all the blood work is comprehensive and i'm glad that they did all that and she's fine they they sent off a stool sample for the lab that's all fine i brought in that stool sample myself i was thinking ahead good boy and then they were like all right we're just gonna give her this medication here's the charges we're gonna get this and we'll be right out the door

I was not right out the door. It was another 45 fucking minutes. I almost fell asleep in the waiting room. Literally by then it was jam packed, but it was like, I go in the small room where she wasn't. And then I'm told to leave the small room where she wasn't. I was like, couldn't you have come out to the waiting room? Whatever. So I sit there and I almost fall asleep. And finally I pay them a lot of money. And then I wait a little longer. And then there's Chica. She told us. Cause Bob and I have been sitting here in a call for eight and a half hours waiting for you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I appreciate that. I,

I thought of this and now I'm too ashamed to say it sincerely, but I still would like everyone to hear it. They made you come into the back room to give you the information privately because there's the Papa laws. I give myself my one point for Papa. We're not going any up from here. It's all down. That's the peak. Yeah.

It's funny you mention that because I've got some small talk news that's bigger than me. Like 6'5"? July 25th, Carly Casella wrote a nice article in Health called Surprise Hair Loss Breakthroughs. Sugar gel triggers robust regrowth. Oh.

Apparently, there was some kind of study going on where they were doing something with mice, which is pretty typical. And they put this sugar gel on mice. I don't even think it was supposed to be for hair loss. It was supposed to be for something else. But they noticed that when they used the sugar gel on the mice, they were like their fur started growing back better and thicker.

than previous things had and they were like huh wait is it mice with like a little bald patch on the top of their head how are these mice balding I don't know what they had done but I think they whatever they were doing to the mice before they didn't expect the fur to grow back I think

What were they doing that needed sugar? Is this just sugar in gel form? You say sugar gel. Yeah, what is this? Gummy bears or what is this? Deoxyribose gel. Oh. Doesn't that DNA? Doesn't sound like sugar. But researchers have found it worked just as well as minoxidil, which is a topical treatment for hair loss. Commonly known by the brand name Rogaine. Wait, so it's not better? No.

Dude, I read the article five days ago. How is that a breakthrough if it's not better than the current treatment? Same but different is still a breakthrough, Mark. Okay, come on. I think that they found that this was working and now they're going to like, it was by complete accident. That wasn't what that was intended to do. And now they're like, huh?

That's crazy. We should investigate this further. I think we're at that step where we don't quite know yet. We got to experiment. We just got to put random things on your head. Let's start with tapioca. We'll move to elk's blood and then we'll try lava for like a quick second just to see, you know, it might work. Dude, imagine if lava works. We won't know until science. Nice icy hot lava and then absolute zero ice. Yes. Yes.

You have some? Doesn't everyone? Absolute zero calories in my absolute zero ice. It sounds like you should get some sugar gel. Are you saying you're going to try this? I mean, I'm going to wait until the

They do a little bit more research on it, but... The thing about this is, unless it's something more than it sounds like it is, it doesn't sound like it can hurt you. What's sugar gel going to do that's bad? Make you sticky? Yeah, exactly. Was it going to give your head diabetes? Probably not. Diabetes is in the feet. We all know. I got skin-a-beat-us.

It's just diabetes up my head skin from all the sugar gel. Well, anyway, wait, that's a great breakthrough. Hey, it's very important. You could do what almost every influencer who's balding does and fly to Turkey. Apparently that's the that's the thing. And there's a horrific picture of

of like a tryptophobia picture of a plane full of people who just had it oh no i don't know if you've ever seen pictures of who just got like the hair transplant surgery is it's horrifying to look at and then it's a picture it's a picture in a plane from seeing all these heads from behind and they're just it's just everyone has just is this the follicle replacement or like the strip oh

It's the follicle implants, isn't it? You know what it reminds me of? There's that one doll head in Sid's room in Toy Story where it has the hair like that. It always reminds me of that. Yeah, no, I get it. I definitely get that. I might be starting to fit out the front here a little bit, and so I don't know what's going to happen. Baldness does kind of run in some of my family. Me too.

I don't know. I don't think I can do shaved head. I don't know exactly what route to take. I might just have to wear hats 24-7. I'm not entirely sure. I guess I should start putting sugar in my hair and not in my mouth. That'll treat both my diseases. You just gotta go to Turkey. I don't know what happens at the Turkey International Airport, but you step off that plane, 10 men jump out with dark

cloaks and razors. You'll be... It's not at a hospital. It's just you go... It's like one of those 10-minute hotel nap hotels at the airport, but it's a hair transplant. I have a hair person who shaves my head who swears by going to Turkey for different things. Is this serious? Yeah, yeah, actually. What is the benefit of having her shave your head? I have really thick hair in the back, and there are times where I just...

flat out don't have time to do it because it actually takes a very long time to get my head as smooth as i'd like to get it so days like before i'm about to travel because we're doing like a family photo in minnesota it's like didn't have a lot of time today so rather than me spending two hours and like then molly be like you left the spot you left the spot like damn it i just go there and have them do it because it's quick he's got a bald guru

She also apparently is just like has all kinds of relations. Listen, I could talk about that lady for a while. She's so fast. She's the most fascinating person I've met. Is she from Turkey? Why? How does she have so many Turkey connections? No, I think she's from Russia, actually. That's closer to Turkey than we are, probably. But...

Yeah, she's got a love web and she loves to go into like what's going on in her love life when we talk and it's always so fascinating. But that's neither here nor there. But she's big on like telling people to go to Turkey because when I came in and she thought I was 10 years older than I am.

She was like, have you thought about going to Turkey and having them do something? See how it looks so old? That's the thing, yeah. I could. She's very blunt. Very blunt. But I found something in the article about the mice. They were studying how sugars heal the wounds of mice when applied topically. So the mice had like lesions or wounds that like no longer had hair growing on them. And they put this on there to help heal the wounds. And they were surprised whenever it was also growing frantically.

No, yeah, sugar is good for wounds because it's hydroscopic. Sugar really sucks the juice, you know? So they haven't actually, as of the time of me reading this article, this doesn't mention them doing any human studies on it, but they were done it with mice. They're like, wow, that's actually pretty effective. Molly sent me that and I was reading and I was like, that's kind of fascinating. Yeah.

molly's sending not very subtle hints hey look at this new treatment breakthrough for baldness every now and then i wonder i'm like do you really like be bald yeah yeah it's great i'm like falling asleep she likes to browse right when she goes to sleep it's like what are you browsing over there you wake up and she's standing over you with a big vat of sugar gel just like no sorry sorry are you hungry cereal

Anyway, that's all I got. Maybe that's why your house smelled like maple syrup. Got a bunch of sugar gel for you. Have you looked at the names on this research article? Have you looked closely at these names? No, I don't know. Mark, what's it say? I was implying that your wife was named on there. I was trying to imply that she was one of the researchers in this because the maple syrup cat piss event was way back before this research occurred.

I'm so smart. That was too clever, Mark. Too clever point for you. You know, Carly ends in a Y and so does Molly. Coincidence? Oh my God. Editors, play the X-Files theme. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

Yeah, and let it go way too long. Just keep playing. Keep it going. For some reason, we're getting copyrighted. Man, top tier small talk this week, guys. You both accrued several points over the course of that. Anything else before we move on? Everyone happy? Nah, I'm good. I don't think so. Oh, okay.

Guys, I have a reprieve for you. I've been doing a lot of episodes lately where I'm asking you questions that have objectively correct answers. It's been fun, but I want to give you a nice, kind of an easier one. So this week, we're going to have some discussions that have subjectively correct answers.

Okay. And we don't have to agree, but if you pick the wrong answer, it's going to be hard to earn points. Okay, so there's no right answer, but if we pick the wrong answer, we don't get points. No, there is a right answer. It just is subjective. But there's one right answer to each question. Anyway. But there's no wrong answers. Ah, there are definitely wrong answers. We've done this before. It's Big or Small 2, everybody. Oh, okay. Oh!

All right. Oh, yeah. What was that? You don't remember that? No, I remember. The teeth, bigger, small teeth. We had quite the discussion. Right now. I remember. Yes. Yes. So so this is we're going to debate. I have a list of things we're going to debate whether it would be better to have.

Big or small? And it's all very relative and there is a correct answer for each one, but it's completely subjective and we'll figure out what it is. Will we be able to ask qualifying questions about like how big? Oh, no. Yeah, we're going to we're going to define the scenarios. So I've got like the softest of softballs to start with.

Big. And I'm not talking like Chica versus like weights or my dogs. I'm talking like Clifford, the big red dog size of a house or like a dog that you could ride in your breast pocket. Like what could be Tinkerbell's dog? I'm going to jump right in front of this. If it's Clifford big, you got to go small because Chica at her current size is

punches me in the balls. I do not want to take a full sprint ram into my crotch. I will be torn in half. The clothes I'm wearing will be found in the next county. And then my testicles, they'll just obliterate on impact. I'll be dead, but you know, it's bad. Let me backpack with that. Mark, you were talking about Chica a little bit ago being sick and when sick puppies have vomiting or diarrhea, they can make quite the mess. Oh, God.

Sliffer's a big red dog having a tummy ache. The neighbor's house is getting a new paint job. You know, if you don't let her out in time, she's got to go. You just drown. Ha ha ha!

They were like, I don't remember us having a pond. And you're like, we didn't. You're like in your office, down the hall, like working. You're just on your computer. And in the distance, you just hear like a rumbling, like a whooshing rumbling. Like, oh no, in the house! No!

it's like a flood i was originally thinking to myself i was like we've already got small animals you can have like a pet gerbil or mouse like you don't want a dog that small a big dog would be so much fun but then feeding it part of me wants the big dog so bad i always thought i love those books i love clifford the big red dog part of me is like i would take

big. I wanted the biggest dog. And imagine Clifford is a puppy, like whenever a little bit aggressive and you're trying to play and it like accidentally nips you, you lost your arm. The rest of me, which is 98% of me is like, Oh, small. How small? Like this small in the palm of your hand, small, like dangerously small. You know, it doesn't have to be a specific size measurement, but like small enough where it's like, if you're cuddling in bed, be careful. So like a mouse size or smaller, like a little hamster.

Oh, man. Well, actually, no, you can take care of a hamster. I guess in comparison, you just wouldn't treat it the same way as a dog, right? Oh, a little dog in a hamster ball. Oh, you could have a little dog backpack thing with like they could climb up. Oh, you could, you know, hamster paths where you like goes around your whole house. You have like doggy paths. Definitely small. I go small. All right. Well, I told you that was an easy one and small is the correct answer. So good work, everybody. Good, good, good, good.

Immediately we went with, Mark went with the balls and I just immediately thought of all the shit. The initial response for me too was definitely big. But once you think about that...

Big furry dinosaur. We're going to keep it easy, but I'm interested in this one. Bicycle. It's a bike that you need. I don't know if you need to ride it to work, but it's a thing that you like doing it. It's something you do regularly. The smallest bike that you can physically ride. So it's not like so small that you can't ride it. It is a bike and you can ride it. Or the biggest bike you could physically wrangle into technically riding it around. Which of those is preferable?

Ego says, man, I want the big one. Put me on a big bike. But I still think small. Because if it's going to be that awkward to handle either big or small, if it's small, at least you're not falling as far. It's big and you crash that fucker. You're falling a distance. That's a concern. Having been through a few bike wrecks. Yeah, I don't want to be any higher up off the ground when I go flying. Is this like a lifted truck situation with you've got monster truck wheels and you like at certain point you have to start having problems

bike nuts, and then probably a Trump flag. Like, let's be honest. Okay, let's... Bike nuts? Like the little testicles that hang from the back? Yeah, like truck nuts, but bike nuts. Is it like the little paper that you put on your wheel, but it's the balls that are flapping up and down as they hit the smack though? No! It's one nut on each side of your back spokes, and they're just like flapping violently as they...

Wang around. Oh, man. You know, that's as tempting as that sounds. But yeah, Wade brings up a good point. I mean, you could have really wide wheels. I guess my my thing for this to to limit the bigness would be you have you can't have to have like a special building to need to get onto the bike.

I would say it would be more a matter of like it being very long and tall, but like not so tall you couldn't climb up on it. Maybe with like a step stool or something, but like this isn't like you need a two story building where you hop off the roof of the building onto the top of the bike situation. It's more just like a big, like the biggest bike that a person could reasonably ride. If I'm coming up over

There's an overpass, right? It's it's should I be worried about that overpass? It's like 10 foot seven and I'm staring at it at eye level. Is that how big it's going to be like roller coasters where, you know, when you're on a roller coaster and you're going under and you're always kind of like, oh,

But actually, there's like a lot of space. It's like that, that level. There are too many trees that don't get trimmed, at least in Cincinnati, the right level. No, that's true. Where branches hit your car, your truck. If you're on a bike and you're getting whacked with fucking tree branches and power,

lines on my normal size e-bike there's already a lot of trees in the face action on some of the that's true just walking as six foot or taller you get hit in the face with fucking trees much less on your big bike i guess i just can't relate to this experience but i defer to your wisdom well branches don't grow below six feet they know better

They just don't do it. You guys have roots, you gotta climb up. Alright, fine, I'll take my tiny bicycle. This is like the bike that clowns will... Yeah, this is like, you get on it and it like squeaks and you're like... It has to squeak. It absolutely has to. It squeaks because it's tiny. Tiny things squeak. This is a fact. I'm not a fan of this bike, but like, I hate...

the thought of big bike, just like big dog, too much negative. All right. Well, that's the correct answer. We're all in a lot of agreement. I was thinking there'd be more. You don't have to disagree. I just assumed that there would be. We are three strapping lads in our prime. We know what's right. I think this next one might divide us a little bit. Oh,

Pants, big or small? And we're not talking on the big end. We're not talking like JNCO jeans. We're talking like belong on a different species of two-legged animal, like so big that it's like kind of an issue. You can walk around, but you have to like lift it up like a hoop skirt.

Is it like long legs that are like dragging under your shoes and stuff too? Yeah, not like outrageously long, definitely way too long. And I'll just a lot of material. And on the small side, definitely thinking like you have to exist and they have to cover you. But like just the tightest, smallest, like skinniest, skinny jeans that a person could. One testicle on each side. Is this what we're talking about here? There's no longer a mystery as to what you're packing in these jeans. Everyone can see everything.

because they are that small and tight. Your feet are purple from the lack of blood flow. Okay, well, I think big has to be the one because if you go to the Met Gala, you'll look really chic with your train of gene leg trailing behind you and your team. What a relatable experience. Oh, I'm sorry. Have you never seen the Met Gala? You don't have to experience something to relate it. I

I've never been there. Imagine yourself on the sun. Oh, look at this guy on the sun. The fact that I didn't know if you'd been invited to the Met Gala, I think says enough. I was like, Mark might have been there. I don't know. When I'm at Burlington Coat Factory picking out my cargo shorts, the second thought I have once I checked the size on the shorts themselves is, now how would these make me look at the Met Gala?

Cause you don't want to leave that out of the equation when you're talking, dressing yourself. The big is definitely stylish. Like the big, there's a lot of big in fashion right now. And that's, I got to go big too. I feel like girls pants already. They're already living the super small, tight life. And yeah,

It just looks so uncomfortable. I don't need a jean in my asshole. Crotch space, man, listen, I live my life in basketball shorts. I'm wearing them right now. I don't want anything uncomfortable or tight. I like loose fitting. What if it's so big, though, that it's like out to here and you have suspenders holding it out like that? We got belts, suspenders. You fold it around, make it like a nice little like wrap thing. And there's scissors to make it shorter. Look, for people like you who are tall,

tall, you don't have a lot of people looking down on you. But for me, people would be looking at either eye level or below. And if they look down, oh, there's your dick. I think there's the same problem as the two small pants. I feel like that that does run into the you do need to be fully clothed in the garment. So it can it has to be like outrageously big, but it does have to like cover your bits. OK, OK, OK, I gotcha.

When we were in high school, the baggy clothes were in, right? So like every dude was walking around with a hand holding his pants up while he walked around. That was the style. I'm imagining that, but maybe a little bit wider and long. And I used to be a pretty scrawny dude. Like even when I was like over six foot, six foot two, six foot three, I was very, very skinny. And finding any kind of like swim trunks or pants or shorts that fit me right, if they were the right length to be...

baggy then they were wide enough for two weights to be in there and it's just like your belt you're fucking like rolling up those pants in the weirdest way to get the belt to make the waist fit dude i don't know what hat what people think long pant wearers are in need of but i am not a skinny guy i have been like a big fat guy my whole life i'm not gonna sugarcoat it i'm fat i'm i am i wear a big belt i have a large number is my waist size

Pants that are the right length for me as a tall person are still too big in the waist, which seems fucked up. I don't wear a small weight. I have big, I'm tall and big. There are stores for us specifically, but they make any pants that are like 32 inches long or more. The waist is like 64 inches. It's like some people wear that size, but I have, I'm not,

I don't know, man. I'm glad that things that fit are more in a little bit now than they were when we were growing up because like swimming trunks were so hard to find. If they were going to cover my knees, it's like, well, my ass is coming out in these and none of them ever have it where you can actually tighten the waist. Swimming trunks especially have always been the biggest nightmare for me to find. And I'm heavier now than I used to be. So things fit a little bit better in the way that they're designed. But like, I have to say, I'm a little surprised we're agreeing on big here. I think I would pick small if I could make a couple assumptions about it.

If it's stretchy material, it has to be, it would still be tight. But if it's stretchy, you said jeans, which are stretchy jeans, there are stretchy jeans. And if it's, if I can be promised and guaranteed that I'm not going to like rip the crotch out, I think I would go small. I know I'd rip the crotch out as a person who has a lot of,

had a lot of pants in my life where like it didn't fit right and I was constantly having to like pull up the waist because I because I the sizing's messed up. I wouldn't feel good about how I would look and it would probably come with some discomfort that I'm underestimating potentially. I would rather have small and just like have pants that stayed on me that I didn't have to fucking carry around with me like a backpack. I get that but man sitting in tight pants is so uncomfortable. I don't know. I don't like tight. I

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All right, next one. And this is going to apply to you, Wade. So maybe this will help you on your upcoming family trip. Suitcase, big or small? There is definitely a right answer to this one. That's why I'm going to let that slide, because I thought you guys actually convinced me a lot and sort of swayed me from there's a correct answer to this one. Suitcase, big or small? Are we allowed to talk about it before we just say? Yeah, we can. We can talk it through. Is it big? Even the small one? Is it big enough to actually hold the stuff you need to bring? It holds enough things that you will survive your trip.

But it definitely does not hold even 80 percent of the pile of every single thing you might want to bring with you on this trip. But it holds enough where it's like you're not going to not have a toothbrush. You're not going to not have any clean clothes with you, but you're not. You're going to have a very Spartan experience on this journey. OK, and big is like so big that what like you have to check it and even then it's a pain.

Big is when the luggage guy, you know when you get your bag in there and they put it on the train? Your suitcase is another train car in the chain of suitcase cars. It actually has a flatbed that it sits on because it doesn't fit into the shelf like the rest of them do. They have to tie it to the wing with some nylon and straps. When you get to the front of the line and the person who checks your bag in, they look at your bag and they go...

and they start reaching to get something out and they got like special tags and things they got chalk they gotta it's a whole experience to get that bag checked in that's how big it is small it's got to be small you can have okay you can checking a bag usually cost extra but you can usually have at least carry-on and a personal item and for me backpack really small suitcase i'll get by

If Molly and I are sharing a bag, dear God, we need big. But I'm going to assume this is for me. And that's her problem. Give me small. Not only whenever I go to the Met Gala. When you're flying to the Met Gala. Yes. I like to fly. You're a big fan. With my diamond medallion status. I get free checked bags, baby. Make them as big as they make them. It's not my problem. I pay for that problem to go away.

I'm sorry you don't have this luxurious experience that I do. It don't matter how big it is. How are you going to get it there, man, if it doesn't fit in your trunk? My trunk? You think I'm bringing my own bag to the airport with me? I'm carrying it? I'm going to the Met Gala. How dare I think about the normal person, you're right. Yeah, excuse you, excuse me. I'm excuse me excusing you. Big.

I'm glad you picked Big Mark because it's subjectively incorrect. All right. I mean, subjectively, but also objectively. I think we all know that that's true. And that's bonus points to Wade. Too small is annoying, but like, especially flying out of Cincinnati, man, even if you were in first class, the little luggage things are so tiny. You have to check your bag. Yeah. And I don't know if you guys flew recently during the cyber truck strike. I thought it was called crowd strike.

Man, oh man, CVG, the bag graveyard that it was. I learned a new appreciation for even if you can check a bag, maybe you shouldn't sometimes, especially if you have a layover. So going small and not to worry about that shit again, that seems good because my God, was that something to witness? Okay.

Coward. Yep. You know what I am. Don't tell me. Pick him up. I actually also exclusively fly first class because I am also Diamond Medallion Plus member. Jesus, you asshole. So I would go personally, I would go big, but I think we all know the correct answer is small. So Wade. Oh, well, if two out of the three people that matter in the world say that it's big, wouldn't that wouldn't that subjectively make it the right answer? Uh.

That would probably objectively make it the right answer. But subjectivity applied liberally to the situation. I just want to point out that he said I matter. He implied that you matter. There might be a third other person who's not here right now who is actually in that list. Don't count your chickens before they're in first class. Editors reveal the webcam of the mysterious fourth member of the podcast.

Anyway. Anyway, good effort, everybody. All right. This one I'm going to need to explain a little bit, but I... Small final answer. You might be right. Medicine. Pills. Medicine. It's a thing of if it's small, it's like you have to take a hundred of them.

It is small pills. They're tiny that you swallow handful at a time, but to get the full amount of medicine you have to take, you take like, like just an unreasonable amount, like at least a few dozen pills, some amount. That's like a lot of pills to take, but they're very small. Can you,

Well, that's not a right now question. Yeah, you can always butt chug. Always. You don't have to ask us for permission. Big in this case would be, obviously, you can take it orally, like in the same way that you would take the little ones, but it's about the biggest thing that you could physically get down your hole. It's not like you have to force it down. You do, like, put it in your mouth, drink some water, swallow it like a pill, but it's like, you look at it and you're like...

TikTok update from a while ago. Did you guys ever follow the journey of, I think his name was Bevo? Yes. You lost me a TikTok update. I've talked about him on this show before. Yeah, yeah. So his story ended with him in the hospital, I think. With a ruptured esophagus? So wait, this is what, I'm going to gesticulate what he did. Look at me, look at me, wait, look at me.

All right, you know what it is. You know the rules. Big ups, Jesus Christ. Big ups, beans. Mm-hmm. I said something right before, but then it's like a... Imagine a whole baked potato, right? Jesus.

not so bad that's so his stick to explain it to you wait since you clearly don't know his whole stick is he he says a bunch of shit and then he always goes you know the rules and the rules are apparently you have to take as much into your mouth as physically possible and so he's always eating something and whatever it is he always goes big ups whatever you know the rules

Oh, that's delicious. And swallows it whole. It sounds like a ruptured esophagus or a blockage. It sounds like he's about to choke to death. And there are a couple of specific videos where he gets like a huge bite and he's all. But he survives. Oh, yeah. You always survive until you don't. Yeah, I don't think he does it anymore. But he lived. He's still alive. As far as we know.

That's like the girl who bottled farts that ended up in the hospital because she was doing so much like unhealthy food stuff in order to make more gas. What the fuck? No, that's true. That's true. She was selling gamer girl farts in a jar and she was eating a large amount of unhealthy. I think it was maybe a lot of beans or cheeseburgers or something so she could fart more. Where? Yeah, but it was like messing up her body.

Did you say where? You can't get it. No, you can't get it anymore, Mark. It's not available. It's not available. Where can I buy it? The farts all done been smelt. So you're saying the farts are floating out there in the atmosphere. You're probably smelling one right now. Just...

It's in there. All I got to smell is I got cam four. I've been putting it on my hands because I get sore hands from editing. Well, Mark, you already gave your final answer. Do you want to elaborate on it? I mean, it's clear here. The reason I brought up Bevo was evidence to the small is because if it's big, it's a terrible experience. Small, you like mini M&Ms. Mini M&Ms are the superior M&M form. We all know this. Oh! Oh! I don't know what happened to me there at

Your dog and you came out, Mark. You got that dog in there. Sorry about that. Eminem minis and the little plastic container. That was so good. No, minis are definitely in the triumvirate of the top tier, but I don't know if they claim the absolute top spot or not for me. That's a tough call. What about mini Eminem peanuts? What would they do? Break a peanut?

How would they? Yeah, they'd have to break it up into pieces, but it would be like crushed peanut bits, but then made into a peanut M&Ms. OK, this is something Ethan could never, ever hope to imagine. I'm laughing at him. You know, the peanut nipple, you know, the peanut nipple right on a peanut.

There's a little, little nipple there. It's just that. So it's just that coated in chocolate because you can kind of break that piece off there and it would be consistent enough. It'd be like a sunflower seed. Chocolate covered sunflower seeds I've had before and they're very good. You could use the rest of that peanut in a regular peanut M&M. You just have nip ones and regular ones. I got to go small too, man. I'd love to disagree and give you more ammo, Bob, but the small pills, I would rather take a bunch of little pills than one big one. I don't want to. After the uvula in my throat, I don't want anything else big in my throat, man.

Yeah, you guys are really going all in on the same answer here. And I got to say, as a person who takes a surprising amount of pills, I looked at it recently and I take, I think, eight pills a day because I take a vitamin and I take a supplement and I take another vitamin B that we talked about previously. I'm still doing that. See if that helps at all. And the vitamin C pill that I take is spicy because it's acidic. You know, when you put the pills in your mouth and that hits your tongue at seven in the morning, you're kind of like, oh,

That's a lot. I would rather just have one. I understand that it would be difficult, but as a person whose daily routine includes an annoying amount of pills, some of which are real tiny, like four or five of the ones I take are like smaller than a normal aspirin. They're like almost nothing.

It's just annoying that you drop them. You got to organize them. You got to I have a little pill because it's such a pain in the ass to have that many bottles where you're like one of these two of this one. God, don't drop any pills. The dog's going to eat them. I'd rather just have one.

did i freeze or are you guys we're just we're judging you so hard you stupid you're both wrong idiots you just get like a little spoonful of yogurt or mashed potato or something you put the pills in there and just swallow it's actually not a bad idea i'm i'm imagining a pill this large that's what i'm imagining you have to be able to physically swallow it there's a limit according to bevo you could i don't

think i could swallow that and i don't mean like you could physically jam it down your throat it had to be a thing where it wouldn't cause you physical harm to swallow it on a daily basis all right like this like this big are we talking like a battery size i've seen videos of guys and girls swallowing bigger things than that that's on the upper end of what i was imagining but yes somewhere in that ballpark i would happily shock on one of those bad boys a day as opposed to one of these

As opposed to dropping pills everywhere and fucking... If I swallow this right now and die, will you give me the point? That's worth at least two points, I guess, yeah. Everyone pull over to the side of the road. You gotta watch this one. I'm dead!

That's two points to mark, I guess. Jesus, I'm getting railroaded here, man. Well, thankfully he can't compete for any more points now, right? If he comes back to life, he loses the two points, just to be clear. Anyway, interesting discussion. I think... Hey, what's up, guys? Back from the afterlife here. Want to finish this episode out strong. I'm going to cross out dead and take those two points away real quick. Can I get one point? I'm a ghost, man. All right, I'll give you one ghost point. Okay, cool. You hear my echoey voice and everything? I don't know what to say.

Headers, don't do any of this. Just make him live with what he's done. No, please. I sign your checks. That's not even true. None of us sign shit. You're right, but I can call the person who does. I know them too. I have their number too. I'll call them and tell them not to listen to Mark. You don't even worry about it. All right, fine.

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Well, we'll all definitely agree and be correct on this next one. Insects. And think about it because the initial knee jerk response seems obvious because we're talking like insects the size of a horse or a car.

a car outrageously big right this is the point this is unrealistically big insects or the small it's not a decrease in overall total mass they're just small individual there's a lot of them it swarms it's

The small would mean any kind of insect. It's just an unbelievable swarm of things that you basically breathe in. But a horse mosquito taking a bite would just instantly kill us. Well, but you could fight, you know, everyone could have like their mosquito shotgun. Like you could fight. It's big enough. You could fight it off. This is literally starship troopers. This is the plot of it. The bugs. Oh, that's true. That's true, actually. And they were so big that guys with really advanced machine guns were still dying left and right.

I don't want to be hit by the bug shooting plasma acid out of its forehead. Let's set a limit. Let's set a limit. Let's set a realistic limit. It is big, but let's say that there's no bug that's so big that it poses a threat of death to you on a regular basis. There are bugs right now that threaten us. Maybe there are bugs that are the size of small chihuahuas. And if it flew up to you, you could just be like,

Get away. Aren't there already those in Australia right now? Probably. I don't know what the hell goes on down there. They all kinds of crazy shit in Australia. Aren't there mosquitoes like in the Amazon or Australia that are already like the size of a Chihuahua? They got farms covered in spiders because spiders fly on the wind because they're made of nightmares and gasoline. I don't even know. Like Australia doesn't count in this because we're talking about the real world. Okay.

I don't know what happens down there. How dare you bring up Australia to my face? Well, see, with the small, you kind of already have that with gnats. Like gnats are terrible. They're awful. But they can't sting you or anything. And they're still gross. But you said like that in your mouth.

mouth, you breathe them in. But like mosquitoes, like you could get a thousand mosquito bites if you accidentally wander through a swarm of miniature micro mosquitoes. They would be micro mosquito bites, but like they still, you know, like there's some way that that works out probably in this world. God, imagine going outside like your dog needs to pot and you look out and there's just like several mosquitoes like on the on the glass slider door. There's a mosquito the size of a tennis racket just looking at you like proboscis makes like a

Do they get to talk anthropomorphically in this world that we're building? I'm sure. Yes, absolutely. I think it's way worse if the mosquito looks at you and goes, hey, come out here. It's a literal vampire asking for permission.

I hate the world of big, but in this, I've got to go big. Because the thought of the swarm of tiny mosquitoes covering you outside. That already exists. It already exists. But gnats don't bite you. Gnats don't hurt you. They're just... No, but I mean, a swarm of mosquitoes, it still occurs. That also is... I get it. But if they're so small, you can barely see them to even get them off of you. I don't want to open that door and have a mosquito...

filling the doorframe staring at me. I don't either, man. But at least the enemy you can see rather than the enemy you can't. My boar spear, its nose would through the door like the boar spear. It would get me! Imagine, like, that little drain, like, that hot air goes out from, like, your dryer and stuff outside. Imagine just a swarm of tiny things just going in there and you're laying in your room and just this cloud of darkness emerges. It's like, what is happening? And they just are

fucking cover you no everything would need like hepa filters like you would need mosquito nets wouldn't even work you need like mosquito plastic balls i don't know about you guys leaky ass houses with your with your bug size holes i got filtration in central air it's not good enough you need a hazmat suit

If you're gonna have sex, you get a hazmat suit for two, 'cause you can't leave it ever. - I don't have sex outside like a Neanderthal. - You can't have it inside. The bugs are everywhere, dude. - Why? Okay, so we're just dead. Is that what it is? We're just dead?

Dead from big, dead from small. Is that what the thing is? We're dead? But big, you can at least fight back. You see them. When's the last time you fought a horse? I thought you said smaller than a horse, but I've never heard. Okay, I did back off from that and say smaller than a horse. How much smaller? We looking at elk? In the range of like a small dog size, like an eight to 10 pound dog size. Small dog? Oh, well, if it's that,

I'm sorry. How many hundreds of times larger is that than a normal insect size? A mosquito the size of a chihuahua, its proboscis would be through my neck. It wouldn't be able to get my blood because it'd kill me. It wouldn't be able to get blood because it would go right through. Yeah, it'd be fine. No! How many...

through you'd never get zika virus because the virus would go right out the other side it would never touch you and i'd be dead before it would even matter that's nah you'd be fine it's not a stinger it's like a it's like a slender little hypodermic needle you ever seen a stiletto a knife not the heel now i feel like these things would not get sustenance very easily they'd go extinct quickly

The small ones, though. I appreciate your commitment to the world building, Wade, and I don't like the picture you're painting. I'm with you. I was painting a pretty good picture of the doorway mosquito. There's a big mosquito in the doorway. I've got a baseball bat. There's a swarm. It's like, what am I going to do? Hairspray and a lighter? What happens when the lighter runs out? Ooh, flamethrower. Actually, that would be an incredibly useful and effective strategy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, also inside your house, like if you're just like...

everywhere you go sure you're gonna burn something down you're burning your house down subjectively speaking wade is correct but that was a very good one and you had a close fight there mark i just wade really went all in and built a whole painted a picture that i just i was i was world building i was looking at wade's picture i didn't see all your stuff anyway uh next one next one very important toothbrush it has to be a size that can fit in a plate into your mouth enough to reach your

teeth so i don't know if we're talking about big in terms of like very long is it like yeah the strands of the fiber are just like really really long like broom length i'm not super clear on what what kind of big the toothbrush is but definitely the small one is like you pick it up and it's like a dollhouse toothbrush and you're like this is like an hour to brush your teeth i'm just like

God, two hours of your day devoted just to brushing teeth. I mean, you don't have to brush half and half. The time is not specific, but it's tiny. It's a tiny little, it's like brushing your teeth with a splinter. Here's what I'm going to say. At a certain size, it loses any effectiveness as like a toothbrush, right? Because the bristles, it'd just be one bristle to get any kind of effectiveness and you can't get any stiffness out of it. At least if you're shoving a broom in your mouth, you're going to get some plaque off of there.

You're going to stab your gums quite a few times, but...

You know, it would still actually clean something and in a timely fashion. And think about tough your gums would be afterwards. You'd have the healthiest set of chompers this side of the Mississippi. And I think that begs the only way to go there. No, no, no. Small is the way to go here, because even if it's small, like you're saying, it's not one bristle. It's still going to be effective. That was part of the rule. So it's still going to work like a little doll hair brush. And once you get back from the Met Gala, you just have your butler come in while you're sleeping and brush your teeth for you.

That way you don't lose any time during your day. And it's so small, it's basically not going to be that noticeable. You know, I don't know about Mr. Rich Richardson here, but I've never been to the Met Gala. So I don't know about his experiences being relatable to the common man. That's what I'm here for, is to really grow the salt of the earth. Life is about balance. The ying and the yang. You got your big pants, your small toothbrush. It's all about the ying and the yang to fit together. You need the small toothbrush.

I don't know what hypothetical world where he has big pants. This is a very strange man. He has odd fashionable choices. He cannot be trusted about the toothbrush decisions of the world. Interesting. Well, subjectively speaking, Mark is definitely correct. So that's a big toothbrush point for Mark. Shit. You know what, Wade? I appreciate you taking the other side. I appreciate that. That's very nice of you. That's considerate. But you're wrong and you suck.

Next one. This one is one I people kind of experience because there is a range of sizes on this naturally already. But we're going to talk about this in this scale that's like concerning as opposed to realistic. Fingers. Almost. So it'd be small enough that you still technically have fingers. So.

So just imagine, just imagine long and skinny or like short and skinny, like barely. Oh, long and skinny. That'd be so fragile. I don't know. I feel like proportional, but small. You know, the finger men, the finger men from Spy Kids. That's what I'm imagining.

No, that was what inspired this. That image haunts me to this very day. I fucking hate those guys. Look up the finger guys from Spy Kids. Holy shit, did I hate that when I saw that movie as a kid. Oh. So we're talking small, but you could still pick small things up. Like, they have to function. You have a functioning hand of fingers, and the number is not different. But it's just, they're just...

unreasonably small. Like you could barely, you could only pick up the smallest of utensils for whatever you're doing. And that, you know, there's a lack of strength. It's it creates issues. Big is the same, but big, they have to still fit on your hand and they have to still work as fingers. But I think long, I think big needs to be longer.

like slenderman-esque like long like not extra joints necessarily but like salad fingers but they're thick too right they gotta be thick and long they're out there they're they're something i'm imagining you got your pinky toe size finger on each of these just a little pinky toe nub on all these that's small okay big it doesn't matter how big how long if you got big hands

You know what I'm saying? They got a certain, yeah, yeah, je ne sais quoi about it, you know? It's a status symbol. In this universe, are we assuming that that's correct? So that is a rule that if you have big hands, you have big penis? Yes, maybe, sure. Actually, I retract my no. I was drunk. I accept your retraction. Well, the finger size is now apparently tied to penis size, so I'm going to give Wade a point for being right off the bat. He's small is right. No, penis was right. Oh, oh, okay. All right. Okay.

I'm gonna go small though here and there's a very particular reason I'm going small. I'll take my small dick I suppose. Dude already there are times where my hands I don't even have particularly large hands but there are times where it's just like I can't quite hit the reset button. I can't quite do this. My fingers are a little bit smaller. The inside of my ears I get itchy and I need to like itch my ears sometimes. A big old fucking

fucking fist-sized fingertip. I can't itch the inside of my ear. Oh, there's something stuck in my tooth? Let me take my mammoth hand and I'll wait. No, I can't. I gotta wait till I can get like a toothbrush or something. I gotta get something. I need my hands and fingers to fit in things better than they do right now. Any bigger and thicker and it's like, I can't.

Give me the baby hands and the baby dick, because at least then I can scratch an itch and do other things. Look, look, my opponent raises some good points, but it's called a Q-tip. You know, they're made for the ears. You keep those on you at all times? Yes, actually, I do all the time.

But I would like to raise up one point. So even if it was gargantuanly, unfeasibly large, there is one inspiration. And Bob, I hope you can step outside of... I know you don't like the game, but Elden Ring. I'm going to bring up Elden Ring for a second here. You know, I've actually played that a lot lately. I'm coming around on it, but go ahead. Okay, good. Okay. There's a certain weapon in the game, in the base game. It's not a spoiler for the DLC. And I'm going to share...

I pulled up a video of it. I think I actually know what you're about to show us and I don't. There's a weapon here. It's the finger weapon. I don't care for it. Imagine if your finger was so large that one flick. Think about how many rings you could have on it. Ah!

You could wear a lot of Elden rings. It would be very expensive to get rings the size of that finger. I mean, you got a finger that big, you can afford it, if you know what I mean. But if you have small hands, you can just have like a little hand contraption made that you put your little hands into that are like normal sized hand things and still have functional hands. They're just working the little hand contraption. You like these guys? I love these guys.

Oh, at the manor? Oh, God, yeah. Those hands have so much hand in them. I hated those things. Yeah, that's what it'd be. Not only that, not only that, but your dick. Huge. Mark is playing a video from, I forget exactly what it's called. It's called The Manor, the Something Something Manor in Elden Ring. Carrion Manor, I think. Carrion Manor in Elden Ring, where there's these big hands that have like eight to ten fingers each that come after you. They crawl around. They're like Thing from Adam's family, but...

I don't care for those. I don't. Small. Give me small. You can't shrink them. You can't put big hands into a smaller thing. They're still big hands. Smaller hands you can work with. I don't need a small world when I got big hands. You're like, you can't hold a big utensil. You fucking wrap that thing to your little hand and all of a sudden... Called lips. You know, you can pick up anything with lips. Excuse me. You can pick up anything with lips. That's it. That seals it. Ha ha ha.

Subjectively, Mark is correct. You could pick up anything with lips. He got there. I couldn't see the forest through the hair. I was struggling to figure out who was subjectively winning that debate. Mark just subjectively kicked your ass to the curb. You could pick up anything in the same way that you can milk anything with nipples. You can pick up anything with lips.

And that is just a truth of the universe. I just, I hadn't considered it. Like I, I want to fight more, but I have to concede. That's a point I hadn't even gotten to. What a world. You and I are playing big, small chess. He's playing big checkers. Wait, big, small chess 3.0. Yeah, that's it.

All righty. Well, that's the end. We've made some astonishing discoveries and important decisions today, I think. Most importantly, we decided big or small on a range of new things that now everyone can take and use that information in their daily day lives. And if it ever comes up, you know which is correct. Mark, you earned points for Sick Chica, Chica Fine.

Too Clever, Small Dog, Bike Nuts, Met Gala, Big Thinkin', Diamond Medallion Life, TikTok Update, Peanut Nipples,

salting the earth dead but then not dead ghost big toothbrush big things and also elden ring you're in point for i'm coming around on l i've played a lot of elden ring lately oh wow he didn't get any points for the lips the elden ring points was also kind of the lips point i was writing that as you said lips and i was you know what you're right way he should get a point for lips all right thank you

Mark, you also got a point for lips. That's excellent. You know, Mark doesn't sign our checks. I got to do what I can for him. Wade, you earn points for good boy. Bald. Russian bald guru. Small dog agreement. Trees in the face. He survive. Subjectively correct. Fart jars. Australia with a big angry face drawn next to it. Big insects. Correct. Hazmat suit for two. Butler brush and dog.

Penis correct guess, apparently. Oh, no, yeah, because it was about penises, even though I said it wasn't. You were correct. Well, it was about penises, but it was ultimately about lips. And those two go hand in hand? That's not how I want it. Yeah, those two go penis and lips. Ha ha!

You got your lip in my penis. You got your penis in my lip. Racist penis. I got minus one point for Papa. Oh, wait, what did I say? HIPAA, Papa. The Papa violation. Yeah, no, I deserve to lose a point for that. Wade, you earned a total of 14 points today. And Mark, you earned a total of 18 points. Ah!

But also you lost two points for coming back to life. But that still means you earned a total of 16 points today. And I didn't say it out loud, but we were playing most points wins. Someday I want to do least points wins without announcing that and just throw that in at the very last moment. But I don't do that today.

That seems mean. So anyway, congratulations to Mark. Uh, it was a good episode today. You guys had a lot of back and forth. You changed my mind. You smalled my big and big to my small on a couple of occasions. And I, I'm shocked and honestly, Wade, you deserve better, but I treat you poorly because I'm a bad friend. Uh,

Uh, the loser speech? Oh, me first. Yeah. Uh, this loser speech is brought to you by me because I lost. I just got to say, I'm glad we agreed on a lot of these things. And the few that we didn't, I know in my heart of hearts, I was correct. But ultimately, the thing that I'm coming away with is that having a house with a bunch of really tiny puppies running around like little...

hamster mouse cage type tunnels and stuff would be really adorable and then just laying on the ground and having a bunch of little tiny puppies like jump up and try to give you kisses and hugs would be awesome and i'm just gonna take this loss thinking about that and feeling like a winner anyway feeling like a winner but looking like a loser mark winter speech i like to think big i'm a big thinker i got big thoughts i don't know if i always went big in this game but i'd like to feel that i did

Uh, in my heart, my big, big heart. I have a very big heart. The biggest, actually. It's, uh, problematically huge. As my doctor liked to say, I'm just that much of a lover. Look at my fingers, look at my lips. Thank you. Have a good day. He's so small, does that make him average sized?

Yeah, it's an optical illusion because he's so short. Anyway, congratulations, Mark. That means you're going to host the next episode. Everyone, thanks so much for listening and watching or both. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast so that you always know when there's a new episode. And Spotify specifically, because that's the only place you can watch the video if you're into that.

Oh, you're into that. You know you are. Yeah, probably you are. Mark is MarkFlyer. Wade is Minion777 or LordMinion777. I am IceCream. We have social media. We also have merch available at distractiblestore.com. That's the end of the episode. And I sincerely, for about two seconds, just forgot what we always say at the end of literally every episode of the several hundred that we've done now. But I remember. Don't worry, everybody. Bye. Podcast out.