86 - NERD ALERT ft. Your Narrator ​
01:40:30 Share

This episode is brought to you by Experian. Are you paying for subscriptions you don't use but can't find the time or energy to cancel them? Experian could cancel unwanted subscriptions for you, saving you an average of $270 per year and plenty of time. Download the Experian app. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions are eligible. Savings are not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required.

Here, talk into your mic real quick. Buh-buh. Be-be-be-boo-boo. Be-be-testing. Perfect. Testing. You're good. 100%. Aha. I would f***ing yes, please, dear baby. Do it. Harder. Faster.

Wronger sweetly better choke it harder better stronger faster, right? Right, is that right? That punk. Yeah. Yeah, uh, uh, uh better faster stronger Remember the yeah, yeah with the words on there and they they would like rotate their hands. Yeah, like early. What was when was that? That was like 2003 or something. Yeah, like early 2000 youtube had just started and they're like, yeah Let's just get in scantily clad and and then we'll do the finger

Listen here editor. That's content. His name's Fluck. We like him. His name's Fluck? Fluck. Oh, that's fun. He's not. He's not fun? Is he all business? Very. Liar! Oh. Fluck is like, shut the f*** up. God, if Fluck was like that, and then we got cranberry juice. That's a cool dude. Right? The wall came out great. It took months to f***ing get here, but...

I have autism. Autism. Autism. He's like our scapegoat. My son got it too. He got it bad though. He went for autism. You're like happy. I'm not even joking. This is real. My son's super autistic. Not like call of duty autistic. He's just like medically diagnosed. Can I fly to Tokyo? That will take...

12 hours and 30 minutes the tallest buildings are x y and z like it's those weird numbers you're like dope bro how do you know that it's what i dude he's like a superhero that can't fight

The worst superhero ever. You suck as a superhero. You're a fantastic son, but Jesus, you need work as a superhero. He takes one, like they put them on like a police raid. He looks like one time through like an abandoned building. He goes,

There's 37 people in there, all with like at least 37, no wait, 42 AK-47s in the back. And you're like, oh, can you just sniffing them out? Can you see through walls? Just through one window. He's like, I know all the numbers. Yes, daddy. Guy number four's gun will jam. This is what we do, father. Say hi to Eli.

It's racially ambiguous, Maddie. That guy's fucking ridiculous, Donut. It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hey guys, thanks for watching the Unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. And that's where the, that is. Come subscribe.

I just realized I'm drinking a white claw, a vodka cranberry, and a coffee. I know. Look at this. Look, listen. You got the normal black cherry to warm up your palate, but then sometimes you want to get a little more fruity with it. A little spicy. A little spicy. And then when you're done with all the sugar sweetness, then you have a sip of coffee, and then you're good again.

A little delicious. Oh, this is like, this is, it erases the palate. Like a restart. And then you go back to the fucking cycle. What's up, sub-subs? Okay, okay. Just letting my audience know. Okay, first off, guys.

Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. As always, we have Eli DoubleTap here, myself, Batty, Streams, and our very, very wonderful, amazing, kind of cute special guest, your narrator. Stop. Hi, everybody. I'm that guy. I narrate things. God, listen to that golden voice. I don't want to talk anymore. I just want you to talk for the rest of the podcast. Can you do our intro for us right now? What is the correct way?

Hi everybody, welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. Eli DoubleTap, Batty Streams. Oh, okay. Hello everybody, welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. My name is your narrator. Today we are joined by Batty and Mr. TwoTaps himself. How you doing? Hey, I like TwoTaps. Mr. TwoTaps. That's way more, that's fancier. Can you rebrand everything? I just like how he's like Batty pointing at me. He's like...

- Mm, wrong person. - I fall almost like-- - Left and right is hard. - Literally, yeah, they're both Ls. - If you look at it, if you're dyslexic, anything's an L. - We just met like 10 minutes ago. - Yeah. - Like all of us just met, he walked in. - We're having a great time. - Well, to be fair, Eli, when me and you first met,

We started pretending to jerk each other off and suck dicks immediately. We were playing skip from Tarkov and

We had never met. They were like, you guys were in the army, right? We're like, yeah. Then we immediately just started deep-throating each other. It was like, oh, it was just typical. Just guy stuff. Just army things. Just army things. Yeah, that's what we'll call it, army things. Totally not homosexuals. Hey, homosexuals is okay, all right? It's totally fine. I know. That's why I like to 69, my friends. What? Batty, spit up your coffee.

How you doing, man? Welcome. Love your hair. Is that natural? No, this is dyed. Actually, my girlfriend is my barber. So she knows how to color, dye, cut it. I thought that was your actual hair color. Oh. God, it sounds so... I just feel like you're narrating everything. Like, it's just a fake voice you're doing right now. And then you drop it and you're like, hey, guys.

Because when you look at him, his voice is saying, he's like, hi, your narrator here. How are you guys doing? He has that deep bellow. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Well, once I hit puberty, it was all growls and shit. So, but like this voice is just my voice, but lower. That's all I do. I just lower it an octave and that's it. It'd be way better if you hadn't hit puberty yet. And this is the base factor. It's going to be terrible once you actually hit puberty. After that, it's just, it's nothing but just like incomprehensive growling. It's Wells talking. Yeah.

What's up man? Okay, so YouTuber, Twitch person, you started off at what appeared to be Minecraft. Side note, if you've never read some of the article shit about people, it's one of my favorite things to do. Oh, when you just Google somebody's name? Oh, you mean like for the past, ever since I started doing YouTube, people have thought my first name has been Sam this whole time?

It's not. You're not. Oh, okay. Breaking news. His name is not Sam. We're going to give a quick personal history from the internet. Personal life. Because you want to learn about yourself real quick. Oh, dude, I would love to learn about myself. Your narrator enjoys spending time with his cat Lily, whom he featured on his Instagram account in August 2020. He also featured his grandparents on his Instagram page.

That's it. That's literally That's your entire bio of personal life on this website. Literally the only thing that I ever did on my grandparents. It was one post when I went to their house in Michigan and we were just playing cornhole and he threw it and he made it in and I was like, dance grandpa! And he just started flossing and I'm like, oh, that's, alright, get it grandpa. Cool ass.

Yeah, I was like, man, I love these internet bios. They're so good. I was like, out of everything you could have gotten about me from, like, the internet bio, he has a cat and he put his grandparents on Instagram. And I'm like...

That's my content. Sure. And then it's like net worth is $500,000 to $2 billion. It's like, well, I wish, dude. Holy, $2 billion? I'd just stop. I'd retire. I know. I'd be like, eh.

I don't know. You just live a good life when you hit that amount of money. Yeah, that's the kind of money where I just disconnect. I'll be like, hey, thanks everybody for watching. This is it. And then I just disappear. I just fuck off to Montana, buy a huge mansion, a lot of land, and then just live out the rest of my days. And just fuck off. That's it. Would you make a single and more like another internet video where you're just like, nah, I'm rich? Oh, yeah. Oh, 100%.

Imagine if you made two like in the billions of dollars. No, because that for a normal person, that's a literally unfathomable amount of money. Yeah. How you can't like. Yeah. No, it's. Yeah.

You do not run out of money. You have cheat codes at that point. You would type in slash cheat money. No, you're playing The Sims slash Rosebud, and you put your phone on the enter key, and then you left the house for a week, and you came back, and you're like, oh, I have two billion simoleons. I can just be God. That's cool. Sir, you can't park there. Shit.

Shut up. Just throw money at all your friends. Here's $1,000. No one could stop you. I was thinking about that. Like, you can pull up to the airport. You're like, oh, I got to fly out. And just literally park in departures and leave your car. Because you're going to make that amount of money by the time you walk to your plane. So the plane's booked. You're like, let me just buy this airline real quick. Just walk out. You're like, okay.

You buy the whole airline. You're just like, move. I'm just going to buy this plane. You all can't go on it now. Get out of my way. Yeah, go fuck yourself, guys. What's up, buddy? Welcome. We've heard about you. You're like the one last vet and YouTube vet that we did not know about somehow in San Antonio. There's so many vets or YouTubers here. No idea how...

We've never crossed paths. I mean, I mean, it was first I lived when I first started, I was in Dallas. So that was probably that was probably it. And then I moved to San Antonio. I live. I rented a house in San Antonio for about a year, a year and a half. And then I just bought my house in New Braunfels. So where? I won't tell you, but it's somewhere. What's the address? Can I get your address? So here it is.

And you moved here and then you're just like, have you interacted with like any of the YouTubers out in demo or. So funny enough with demo, I, cause I love meeting new people, obviously. Hello. I actually was meeting a lot of people through Tik TOK. And one of the people that I met through Tik TOK was, was Robo and apparently, and he's, he does like a whole bunch of different stuff, but he's just started working for demolition ranch.

Who's Rob? He's a tech. What's he do? He's like a, he does like Spanish. Wait, is he the one with the same face? Yeah. Yes, I met him. He worked at the liquor store next to my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? He was like, uh. And then I watched it at demos. I went to demos. He's like, hey. Okay, Robo's his name on there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So he was like, he just text messaged me and he was like, hey, by the way,

I'm stepping up and I'm like cool man that's awesome what are you doing now because I wanted to collab with him just to hang out and he was like I work for Demo and he's like we should get you guys together and I'm like

Okay, cool. More freaking more, more content creator friends, more veterans. I was guns. I'm like, Oh yeah, we can do that. So yeah. So it was super cool. Oh shit. I'm slowly connecting the dots. Cause like, I don't, the only person that I know out here, uh, in this area, like content creation wise was at first was just me and Eddie. Cause, cause I record with them all the time. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, the guy in my group, Eddie VR.

yeah yeah yeah he's uh somewhere north of san antonio nice yeah yeah so i was like so i was like dude freaking that's the but that's the only content creator that i know all my other content creators uh buddies are like in houston or like like farther up north or like in different states and so i'm like okay it's cool to be out here but i don't know anyone that's

Do it does content. That's cool. I guess like everyone's out. There's a lot of a lot of content creators here Then we have Austin and Dallas. Yes, Texas is pretty cool for for content creation. Just in general. Yeah. Yeah I started the I started to notice a lot of people are in Austin now Oh, and that's becoming kind of California 2.0 at the moment. I'm like I love that state You yes

Started in you so you started on Minecraft and then moved to a fortnight So so we we started out originally We started with virtual reality stuff er yeah, yeah, so we did we start off with that because During that time right after I got out of the military. I went to filming school. I'm sorry Me too

It was bad. How many years did you do? Oh, this is a good time. I'll rage on this. Like three or four. Oh my God. And it's going to be like, wait, did the GI bill or do you have to parse? No, GI bill, yeah. Okay. But they're like, they charge a metric shit ton. You're happy you didn't pay for it because you see those people when they leave film school, they're like $80,000, $120,000 worth of debt. Oh yeah. Especially since the one that I was going to in California. Not accredited. Closed. Closed.

Halfway through my education wait, so you got So then I that's the real reason I moved to Dallas was because it was either a start your degree over with no credits at a new set of new in University or Go to the same one looking at you Art Institute. Oh, yeah Yeah, so and they're not an accredited for some stuff so you can't do

The credits don't transfer. It's fucking, I remember sitting down on that. I sat down because I was just learning. I was learning film. I was already doing like a short, two shorts a month. And I like cinematography, lighting, all that shit. I love doing that. And I was already doing it for a few years at this point. I was like, I'm going to go to film school.

Art Institute of Seattle. Sat down on that first set down where you like, you know, the intro where you're just meeting people you're going to go to school with. And I was like, oh, this is post-military. So young and so like 38, 39, 39. I think I was that crazy. I'm 63. No, you're aging really good, man.

- Agent like fucking wine over here, Jesus. - I need a drink more. - God damn, that's the secret. - But no, it was sitting down, looking around. The teacher's like, "Everyone raise your hand for film." - Oh shit, Fluck.

Oh, we didn't clap. Oh, what a fucking rookie mistake. Fuck you, Fluck. Sorry, continue. It's all right. Fluck, listen, if you can't at this day and age, I mean, if you can't synchronize now, come on. You're fired. You got it. You're not fired. We love you so much. Thank you. No, no, we love you. Just synchronize the footage.

Please think it's just really off. Nothing. It's like a 1970s Kung Fu. Yeah. But yeah, it was sitting down at film school. The teacher was like, Oh, who, these are going to be your classmates. And I was like, why are you doing this? It was like, Oh, I do shorts. I do YouTube. I'm figuring this out. This is 2000. Evan, I think it's,

Oh no, I didn't even graduate from high school. High school. Oh yeah. I just remember them being the other kids raise their hand and they're like, why are you here? And they're like, I thought it'd be cool to make videos. And I was like,

That's a weird answer. All right. I like taking photos. Another weird. Okay. Non-inspired answer. And then I just like all the answers that sounded cool as a job. And I was like, I'm not going here. And I quit. I like after that, I was like, I'm going to make my own shit and teach myself. Yep. God, it finally paid off.

Took a few years. I did, you know, Freddie Wong, Rocket Jump. Yep. Corridor Digital. Yep. I moved to LA and was working with them for multiple years. So that's how I learned. That was my way of learning. I was like, I'm going to work with hell of a lot better than school. Yeah. Easily. Well, now it's LA. It was still expensive. Yeah.

But you were in like double debt. You know, you weren't paying off college as well as. Yeah, you were just paid $500,000 for a shoe closet. Yeah. Uh-huh. That's what sucks. You see all my friends out there. They're like, well, look at my $1.3 million house. This is small. And you're like, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Why would you live there? I'm so dumb.

So film school finished it. Well, they finished it. They finished for you. Oh, no, it got better because I did move to Dallas to in order to finish it. And I got to my final semester of my bachelor's degree and COVID hit. And so they shut the school down.

I technically, all I have to do is go back to that school, do a senior project, and then I get my bachelor's. But I'm not going to. You're like, at this point, it's like, why? I just dropped out. I'm like, I'm done. It's not worth it. That's the biggest bruh. Bruh. If you ask any big filmmaker, that's one thing. Kevin James, he was like, go to film school for first quarter, then leave.

Fuck it. He's like network. Get the fuck out. He's not going to make a difference on anything you'll learn do in life. Just network. Most important part of life, as you probably know, through YouTube. And then you don't need. Do you apply any of that knowledge? Like, I don't know what knowledge they taught you. The only thing I ever apply that I learned in film school is Premiere Pro editing. That's it. That's and I and I ever after that, it was like after one class of that, I

The teacher was like, "Alright, cool, so this is great, right? You're learning how to edit." - Oh no. - Every single one of these things that we're gonna teach you that you're spending thousands upon thousands of dollars for, you can learn off YouTube. For free. - That's what I did.

You can, and it sucks because you can do it on like three tutorials, especially with shortcuts. Oh yeah. That's it. You're like, hey, here's your shortcuts. Here's the four keys you need to learn. It's then just drop clips and learn your style. C-V-I-O. That's all I, that's all I needed for that. My mother's texting me. Who is this? If you could pay for my plane ticket, of course mother. My mom doesn't text me. She died.

Thanks, Eli. Well... I just poured one out on the carpet. Love you, Mama. Yeah. Peace out, Mom. All right, double tap wins for the side hours today.

He always does don't worry always that's my life. So Dallas that was fun then huh? Yeah No, and then and then from that right into YouTube or yeah So it was during it was actually during when I was going to school that I was just playing VR chat because it was new What else are you gonna fucking do? Yeah, exactly And that's when I learned it like practice different voices and stuff like that Because I wanted to be a voice actor. No, no. Mm-hmm

No, Eli has Deckard Cain. Go. What voice do you want? I can do voices. No, continue to story. We're interrupting him. No, it's all right. That's all a podcast is. It's just you continue trying to finish the story you started the podcast with interrupting each other the entire hour until you finish it in that last segment. That's literally all a podcast. It's just that with tangents. It's one story with tangents. It's all a fucking podcast. Nobody comes here for a storybook reading. Are you okay? No, because this is what we do.

We do every time. Fine. I'm good. I'm good. Continue your story. Guys, can we do our chat? Can we just get in the comments? Batty, stop interrupting. It's not the first time. It won't be the last time. Oh, shit. Voices.

Right, so I was going on VRChat to practice a lot of different voices, and that's when Josh and Josh Dobin-Mully just started their YouTube stuff, and they found me, and they were recording for one of their first ever videos, and they found me, and they're like, I was entertaining a crowd at that point. Okay, real quick. Do your best Asian impersonation. Huh? Okay, black, go. Were you voice acting?

As your lawyer, I'm gonna advise you that everything that comes out of his fucking mouth... I love how normally, because with that... You're so good at this! With voice acting that I've done, like, I'm learning, like, different voices, like, characters, and, like, anime and stuff like that. My man just goes like, black. Asian.

I can't say yellow. I can't say yellow. He is Asian. He's allowed to. Yeah. Asian, Mexican. I have like every card. I took, you want to see my cards of things I get away with? Cause I'm not white. It's real dope. You know, he's got a trading book. This is my first, my holographic Charizard. Look at my Asian card. Here's my past. Look, it's minority man. Dude, look, it's fucking, that's an autistic card. My son. Um,

And you. Don't play this off like it's your son. Oh, here's bi-autistic. Mine's 10%. It's like your VA disability. You get a discount? They're like, aw. What's your rating? 10%. Oh, that's pretty good. God damn. I'm only three. Every mattress has a 20-year warranty. Some even has 25. And you can try it out for 101 nights.

If you don't like it, you can send it back. How do you put up with him? Do you tune him out like your child? No hard feelings. One of my favorite parts about GhostBed is that mattress has cooling technology in it. So you don't get hot at night unless you're Batty. You can tell he sweats. Do you sweat, Batty? Does the cooling technology help that? Batty, wrong camera. You have to look at that camera. GhostBed also offers bundles of

So you can get everything you need. It's kind of like Santa. He's still going, Sav. He's literally a child. You have to ignore him. Right now, GhostBed is offering 30% off of everything if you use code unsubscribe at checkout or visit ghostbed.com. Eli, why do you have a Christmas hat on? Because it's Christmas time. Hi, guys. Do you want a better night's sleep for Christmas?

Maybe you don't want St. Nick waking you up. I don't. That's why GhostBed.com is having a 30% off if you use code UNSUB right now or to go to www.ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get your 30% off on your new cooling technologically advanced mattress.

Batting technology. Batting technology. That's what I'm going to call sex from now on. Batting technology. So good. It keeps batty cool.

In the evenings in Texas. Not in this house, though. Not in this house still. It's like Batty's old house. It just follows Batty. It's worse. It is. It follows Batty. It's actually worse. I didn't think it could get worse. But good thing this pillow has cooling technology to keep us cool, even in this literally insufferably hot house. Not right now because the heater was off. Yeah, it's not good. It's cold here. It's not cold. It's hot in here. You're hot right now? Hey, Big H, are you hot? Yeah, me fucking too.

Oh, Merry Christmas, Big Henry Cavill. Also, I would just like to formally apologize about the Superman and the Witcher thing. We love you. We love you. What is this? We love you. We're doing ad reads. Stop it. It's not a podcast. This isn't an ad read. Yeah, but you can put it somewhere in there. Dude, don't. Adam, are you looking at me or Big Ed? You! I'm looking at you! Let me see. Use code unsubscribe over at ghostbed.com, guys. Okay, so...

Asian voice. No! VR chat. So VR chat, we'll get to that. So VR chat, just working a crowd, they put me in a video and they were like, hey, you were pretty funny. You have a cool narrator type voice. I was like, oh, thank you. So they put me in the video. They told me where it would be.

I saw it when they finally posted comments like, hey, it's that guy. Thanks for putting me in there. And after that, they sent me a Discord link, and one thing led to another, and then fucking three years later, here we are. Oh, shit. Here we are. So you kind of accidentally fell into YouTube. Yeah. It was like right when we... Good push, by the way. Six out of ten. Right when the school closed down, that's when I... Just right around there is when I hit 100,000 subscribers. So I was like...

Right? So, but now the school closed, it was like, well, now what? Because now I don't get paid from the GI Bill because I'm not going to school. So I went, I'm just going to try nothing but YouTube for a month. See what happens. If it pays my bills, cool. If it doesn't, I'll go work at Best Buy until I can figure this out. Exactly. So I paid. We can't say that anymore. Dude, we found out like we can do like literally the worst shit in the world. But if you talk about that.

YouTube's it's like oh dude. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, I also found out they added new things with YouTube the first 15 seconds of everything Doesn't matter what video it is it has to be squeaky clean no violence no swearing We've done two minutes like first two minutes. We've been we've been just we don't we don't do fuck all we purge it completely now because yeah, right? Is that where we're at two or five?

- We were doing one. - I think we're at two now. - Well, I mean for podcasts, usually like one or two minutes, you're like, "You guys are good." Yeah, but for like a 15 minute, 16 minute video, that first minute is how you hook your audience. So I'm like, "I can't swear." - It sucks. So you're fucking, you're like, "Okay, Best Buy, I can't." - Yeah, so I did that and that first, that month, I did nothing but record with them.

uh do the time difference because they're australian i woke i finished recording around 2 a.m finish editing that video at around like 9 a.m post it and then i would sleep during the day and then we would record again so we did i did that for a whole month i made just enough money to pay for all my bills and eat top ramen and like pizza bagels that's the dream and so i was like and so i was like i made it i can do this

Barely. As you sit on your throne of ramen. Literally as I'm like, I have all the beef and chicken in the world. But I was like, I can do it. So I just told my mom and everybody. I was like, hey, remember how you were excited about me being the first person out of the family in a long time to get a bachelor's degree? Hope for my sister. All right. Gotcha, bitch. I'm going to go be an internet star. I dropped out. It's a porn. So...

No, I did selfie pics though. That was funny. We'll get to that. I have questions that I'm not sure I want answers to yet, but I have to ask them later for sure. It's alright. But yeah, after I did that three years later, now we're here.

Now we're doing freaking crazy shit like teaming up with Red Bull and flying in stunt planes and going to Las Vegas and just blowing up ranges and shit and making our own merch and...

Just having a blast. This looks like, I know, I was looking at this. This is like a nice, it's almost an initial D shout out. I don't know if you know initial D, but it's like, that's when I seen that jacket. I was like, duh, it's fucking anime stuff. It's got the cute little insides and stuff like that. Dude, I'm going to add, I have so many questions, I don't want to do it because I'm like, anime? Is he in anime? He looks like he's. I am an anime fanatic, a video game fanatic. I play D&D. I shoot guns. You play D&D?

as soon as i walked in i saw the dragon from the icons of the realms and i'm like yeah exactly so i was like oh oh look at that so let's see you got that you got the dragon ball balls obviously got master chief you got freaking itachi right there you got my main man endeavor who's you know i mean in the manga right now he's getting kind of crazy also the anime i know sorry his son kind of got revealed kind of crazy i know i know they finally showed him off the anime yeah

Dagger academic on you. It's so good. Yeah, fuck even though I don't watch a lot of English dubbed anime One of my friends Rico is the voice actor for Mirio in my academia. Who's my favorite character by the way? No shit. Yeah. Yeah my back. Oh Not done yet. It's back tattoos all my hero. Are you listening? Are you cool? Are you? Bizarre and then Ido

Japanese whore or yeah, right like this is like in a baddies like the fucking D&D master Why were we friends a long time ago? I was in Germany. I don't know what well I mean when I was uh, yeah, huh dibs no I just choose no I dibs them. I'm not like that. I don't yeah, I know Oh, okay. Am I gonna be like part of a cool custody battle? It'll be hot. No, it's on top of you. Okay

Who's on top is what we're doing. It's okay, I'm used to that fighting. My mom and dad are divorced.

No. I mean, is that the segue for tattoos? Oh, I mean, yeah. I don't fucking know. Do you think we can segue on this show? We just get drunk and just roll the dice. We're like, oh, we just did a quick one. Now let's talk about he got a new tattoo, everyone. So this is my full sleeve. It is. It's still wrapped up. It's healing, but it is a Avatar the Last Airbender tattoo. Oh, my God.

Oh, I love that. The original, if you can see it, it's the four teacups, each with its own nation. And then you have Uncle Iroh's favorite teapot, which is Avatar Wan, the first Avatar. Oh, man, I'm not ready. With the symbol in the middle. And then I wanted him to, I have to go back one more time, but then he's going to, all the elements are going up my arm and corroding it.

So it's going to be awesome. And then my right arm is going to be another full sleeve, but that's going to be full Viking because I love my Scandinavian heritage. Feel that, brother. Absolutely. I'll put a Valknut on there somewhere and we'll figure it out. Dude, Vinland.

Good anime. Good anime. It's starting again. I'm so fucking excited. It's about to start next month, I think. Really? He's our resident Omega weeb. Oh, cool. Yeah, you get anime fucking... It's like crazy. You seem... Yo, what's up, dawg? You need some Hideo Kojima? What are we talking about? I got you on anime, homie. And D&D. Fuck, you guys play D&D? Let's go.

Oh, man. Let's go. I just have a blue dragon across my entire chest. My throat is the hand and eye of Vecna. I have a D20. I love D&D. It's literally my entire life. How have we been this close? And then we're like...

The internet is so fucking weird about that shit. Yeah, and plus like especially with like different categories like it once especially with YouTube they love putting people in like this little box. You have a silo. These are your friends. These are your friends and nothing else. Yeah, and that's why I was like I was like I'm all about gaming and stuff like that. So that's why I was like, oh I can capitalize on like my veteran side. I'm like that's cool. It's the moment I started doing that everyone was like

hey, there's some cool people out there. You got Demo, you got Nico. And I was like, oh, these are freaking cool people. And then the moment I actually, before you tweeted, I actually heard about you guys going through, well, one talking with Nico, but also going through Twitter. And I was like, oh, cool. Because I also do like on Patreon, like just anybody who's a veteran. And I was like,

Conti creator wise and I was like, oh, this is cool. And so like the moment I was just scrolling through I was actually thinking about downloading escape from Tarkov because like

Juicy super into it and I haven't played it yet So I'm like I'm gonna tell you the wipes happening like within the next week and a half Honestly by the time this comes out it all already happened. So like the the time like it's like Yes, okay Take two weeks. Don't we this is a fucking steepest learning curve. It's a learning cliff. That's fine good It's like I've seen I've seen videos of like the mass amount of buttons and key bindings you have to learn but

he's a nerd he'll figure it out do the guns and everything you figured it out i know

Well not the dude the organization system. I'm like Searching for money in boxes. I'm like nope nope. Hey an AK Oh

I was like, what the fuck? Man, so you're like, okay, okay. This is cool. I like this. Super weird. Is that why you chose the, where were you going to? Bakudan? Bakudan Ramen? That's where I wanted it. No, that's not the anime ramen shop. Oh, there's an anime ramen shop in San Antonio too. What? It's called Hero Ramen.

Oh, yeah. So I'm super down also to grab a bite to eat after this. Oh, girl, you had us at a bite to eat. Because I am hunky. I just... We're fucking all hunky. I left the gym and am now drinking. That's how I wake up. I go to work after this. Okay, this will process real fast now. That's all right. I don't go to the gym. It's okay. Oh, okay. I can't. I got boo-boo.

I have been tattooed every two to three weeks for the last two years. Dude, hell yeah. It's not good. Don't do this. Dude, do you have your back done yet? Or your chest? No, it's literally just my... Don't do it. Do not do it. No, the chest is obviously... Because I got the saggy titties, so that'll hurt a lot. But the back piece, I know those suck, especially over the spine. Ribs are terrible. I just did my groin.

Like inner thigh like up up to the giblets. Okay, right you said groin immediately I thought like what you get like a ruler that extends like what you get? No, I have ankle to my hip all Pokemon Yo, but it goes all the way up the inner like literally ankle to hip inner thigh all the way I was about to say you're rocking the Gyarados shirt. Do you have a Lucario on there? No, I

I got 23 different Pokemon on my leg. - Are you a Smash Bros player? - Yeah. - What about a Garchomp? - No Garchomp. - Garchomp is good though. I went with a traditional Japanese style background for everything from the backdrop. So it's like two different Gyarados, regular Shiny, two different Magikarp, regular Shiny.

Requeza nice Into Volcrona Larvesta and a shiny Venonax. It was my first shiny I ever found all right My thigh which is Torterra shiny turtwigs. I just did a Soft reset when that the remake came out okay, okay? Chikorita Trico then behind my in my knee ditch worst tattoo I've ever had in my life that sent me to a different planet that was

Gengar, Haunter, Gastly, Inner Thigh, or sorry, Back of My Thigh, Mega Steelix, Helioptile, and Torkoal. And then Inner is Ditto, Metagross, and...

Malamar. I got the technical hentai Pokemon right next to my dick and balls. Fluck, just hard cut to a scene of jocks beating up nerds with our faces. Nerds after that conversation, please. This is a dope. It's like, this is a dope. A shiny Pokemon.

And shiny Mew. Oh, there you go. Have you played the new one? Yeah, a lot. Yeah, he's all he does. Your starter. You Coco. Were you a weed cast starter? Yeah, figured you look like it. You look like a Tito. What do you mean? I look like a weed cat. No, you're right. A hundred percent. If you Coco is the name. Yeah, if you Coco is the fire cry. He's a fire cry. Firefly crocodile.

I haven't played Pokemon since like Red, Blue. And then there's the Dancing Water Bird. Useless. Quacks a lot. I think it's the final. He just stands there and does like... Quacks a lot. So they just did a Mexican name. Quasipodo. It's all based in Spain. Yeah, yeah. It's all based in Spain. Fuoco, Spray Tito, and...

Okay, Quackley's the first one. I haven't played a lot of Pokemon. You should know this. I'm not a Pokemon dude. Donde esta? Donde esta? Mexican. More like a Mexican. I know. No, no. Lo siento. Me hablo espanol mas o menos.

Wait, can you actually speak Spanish? Si. Fuck, you're way better Mexican than me. You can't speak Spanish. No, I only know a little bit. Oh, okay. You got me fooled. I was like, you can't speak Spanish, do you? Now let me hear a Mexican accent. You didn't answer that. Eli, can you speak Spanish? Piquito. Me llamo Eli. Me llamo Eli. Mi piquito. Mi piquito. Muy.

Muy poquito. Muy poquito. This fucking game.

- Just talk like that from now on. - Don't fucking look at me. - You don't even look at me, bro. - Hey, don't even fucking look at me, bro. - Hey, have you met my friend, Batty? - Yeah, yeah, look at, this accent is okay. He's like, whatever. - Oh, it's all right. Look at fucking Batty over there. - Oh, now the white boy drink the coffee, okay? Take a nice big sip. - Oh, here we go. - There we go. - Oh no, I didn't know you had Uncle Roger. - Oh my God, he can do the Uncle Roger too. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - What you doing? Go back to coffee. Oh, it got free-o.

I already called dibs. Me and him can do this accent all the time. Today's letter is brought to you by the letter F. We're fucking

I want to throw up and die. No, stop it. All I can think about is all the people on audio who have never seen us. And they're trying to, like, we recently had somebody who had never seen or heard of us. They just listened to us. And then they saw, they're like, oh, you guys do YouTube too? And they checked us out and was like, that's not what you're supposed to look like.

Dude, it's it's super fun going on like video games with procs proximity chat and then just like imagine sort of a close your eyes and then all you hear is these just talking to you and everyone's like oh you have a very Subconscious and then and then in the like what do you look like and they look me up? They're like dude if I put your ass underneath my truck, it would be illegal The neon street would be too bright. You're so white

I fucking love the voice acting. It's my favorite thing. I heard. Just saying. It's going to be fun. So does Warzone. Yeah, but it's Warzone. Yeah, you just know when people are coming. People on Warzone, I've only had a couple experience so far with Proximity Warzone where people have been like actually cool.

Because, like, I pretended to be, like, a gas attendant and just fill up gas for them with the cars. Oh, my God. That is genius. Who's at my front door? I'm sorry. This is unprofessional as shit. Who are you? Who is at my? Wow. This is what we deal with, guys. This guy. And that's why I was like, hey, I don't know when they're going to drop that off. Is that an Asian guy?

I think so. Yeah, I heard it in the tone. Yeah, it was more like, hello? Okay, drop off in garage. And I'm like, no, I will open the garage for you because I bought the installation sheet. I'm like, you gotta put that together. Your package on the driveway. Living spaces? Great. They did all my stuff too. God, I fucking love living spaces, dude. So far, both things that I've ordered recently though, uh,

like my new couch which is awesome but it's like instead of being flat and flush in the back it's like they they didn't put the the hookups right on the inside of the end of the inside of it so it's like straight and then it goes oh there's a little yeah but it kind of looks cool it's like a geometric kind of thing i'm like the couch the couch on the inside is still flush so i'm like

Good enough for me. They said they'll fix it later, so I'm like, whatever. They're not going to fix it later. We're totally coming back to unfuck this. Nope. Never going to see them again. Right now, bud. Okay, so we got... There you go. Why'd you cover that? Push it out. Sorry. So, John, wait a minute. Man, now I have, like, so many questions. I'm like, video games? Okay, top three animes. Oh, shit. This is a fucking weeb. Okay, all right. Top three animes. This is hard, I know. Oh, man.

You can toss five if you need to. Okay. My top three. You will be judged. I just need to make sure you know that. I know I will. I know my top number one. I get judged heavily for it, but I don't care. I have to know how it ends. Number one is One Piece. Okay. Good choice. Good choice. I have to know how it ends, and I'm super mad because they just did the announcement where they're like, so you're caught up in One Piece.

How did you like the prologue? Oh, yeah. Wait, wait. Like a thousand is like all of this has been a prologue. Yeah. Because did you notice? This happened like what, six months ago? Yeah, because it was like, remember, he's beaten Kaido. He's right now. He's trying to fight that. You still got Shanks and Blackbeard to deal with. Were they just going to cut them out of the whole series? No.

This was the prologue. I'm supposed to be like another thousand episodes. Probably. I'm going to watch. I'm going to make my grandchildren watch one. Like Berserk. Yeah, exactly. So that's number one. Number two for me would be Cowboy Bebop. I love that one. Spike is pretty cool. So Netflix. I like. Listen.

That's what you're talking about. I just like, I just love Netflix too. It's so great. But there's, I mean, just, just his whole, his whole attitude and demeanor. Plus the line where he's like, I love a woman that can kick my ass. I'm like, same, same, same strong women. Faye, to you. Faye Valentine. What's up girl? What's up girl? What's up? Ooh, repeat. Um, but then for number three for anime of all time. Oh man.

That's a hard one. Because there's a couple. There's a couple lined up. I would say for number three spot, for the moment, for the moment, would actually have to be My Hero. Big fan. Big fan. Because, like, especially right now, it's got a great story, great character, plot development's good.

It's it knows how to hook you are you a manga guy or anime? If it's a really good like wake with my hero academia, I'm reading the mind that is the only anime manga I've actually taken the time to go through and completely read up to where we are because I was like wait How far have you seen Deku right now? Yes, I am. I am like five

Chap, not chapters. What is it? It's not, there's chapters and then, or some, chapters, yeah, books, whatever they're called. Yeah, I'm like five behind right now. Have you seen, has Deku appeared again? Yes, when he's doing Deku, like fucking Deku doing Deku. Yeah, Deku's like hardcore. I'm a badass now. You're like, I've seen all that. Hey, remember that power, the predecessor that was locked away and said you, Shelby, shouldn't use this or else you could die? Yeah.

Fuck it. Guess we're doing it. Oh, it's so good. I'm just like... I think the only other manga I've read is Naruto. Yeah. Yeah. What are we just taking mid-episode breaks? I gotta pee, man. It's been 48 minutes. This is so unprof... It's worse than him taking a... What do you mean talk? You're pissing. Should I... Want me to get the fourth mic in the bathroom? Do we need to like measure the stream? I hate that I can hear him. Yeah.

Hey, you got it. I hate everything. The moment it gets to the end, the higher the voice gets. Obviously. Oh, yeah. That's beautiful. See? America's got talent right here. Always. Easy. We could. Easily win. I mean, talent these days. Imagine. We're YouTubers. I'm not. I'm a twin star. Okay. Hold on. I'm so proud of you.

Wait, what are you doing? Crispy blue. Crispy blue. Crispy blue. Yeah, okay. Hajimano Ippo. You ever read it? Those aren't even real words. Yeah, the boxing anime. Yeah. You actually know it? Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Are you talking about the the

Oh, with the Black Ravens? No, Hajimono Ippo's the boxing one. I can't remember the volleyball. Oh, you had like Blue Lock, which is soccer. That was fun. Blue Lock, yeah, the soccer one was really good. They're animating it really well right now, actually. Spy X Family?

That's a real dude that is this first episode. It is so good Little on a little on you is just like I Just moved I have been busy as fuck. I don't have time to watch it now. Don't say I won't say nobody he will I know you I've never spoiled anything on yours

Name one. If you can name one spoil. Go. Go. One spoil I've ever given you. No, there was. What was the one punch man? On what? You 100% spoiled one punch man the first season, the very end of it, the first season. Before I moved here, I was staying at your house and you gave away everything before it happened. Wait, I was trying to get you hooked on anime. You spoiled it. Yeah, it was only was getting you hooked. Spoiled it.

And now he's hooked on. He said, give me one. I gave you one. Fuck you. And that's the only one he had to think about that one. But that was to get him. I was like, this is something I don't do. I'm not like, man. I had to go back in the matrix real quick there. That was the only anime that got him started. Reboot.

Speaking of... Oh, my God. Did you watch Reboot when you were... I don't know how... You're only like 27 or some shit. Yeah, 27. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what Reboot is? It sounds familiar. He's not... Do you know what Reboot is? Yeah, he's too young to watch that shitty 3D... It's like OG Toonami. Ooh. Dude, the 3D animation was like... Jank is great. Fuck, yeah. Ooh. So, Reboot was like... Back in the early 2000s when...

The TV realized we could make a 3d animated shows. The entire show was 3d modeled, but poorly, it looks like, like blender or a 3ds max or like, uh, what's the other one? Like Maya, was that the other 3d modeling program? And it is the, it was like,

They were characters in a 3D digital world and occasionally these blocks would come down out of the sky and it would suck if you were in the block when it hit your sector of the city, it'd pull you into a game and you had to complete the game and if you didn't, you died or something. Dude, look at these polygons. That's reboot. God, I loved it. Dude, that was my crack as a child. If you've seen the animation, fuck, put this up because it is, oh my God. We need a clip of reboot, yeah.

God reboot was painful for sure. Oh my god, my newfound friends their hopes dude. You can count the pixels That's new reboot that's no this is an original this is the updated reboot yeah This is this is state of the art. What's that emperor zurn?

That was the original bad guy. Yeah. Oh, man. Dude, what? That looked like a ripoff of a PlayStation 1 game. I think that, honestly, that was basically the graphics for a PlayStation 1 game. Oh, my. Dude, because you're on this different age bracket because you're the same age as Nico and Savannah. Yeah, yeah. My girlfriend. Oh, there you go. Yeah.

i was like i was like oh i looked at his age i was like oh oh yeah we're the exact same i was like okay okay okay got it got it got it got it got it different but playstation because your first console would have been hold on probably the nintendo 64 or a ps2 yeah actually ps2 i uh i originally had a

my god i had a playstation one i did have a ps1 okay i did i had i had a wait i had an atari i had a playstation one what kind of atari uh the uh

the handheld or 5600 like the og atari yeah yeah the links oh that's the later you had like the brown like the wood finish that was big in the 80s they're like here you go here's pong yeah here's pong and galactica yeah yeah but i had that playstation one you got more og than me man i was uh an into nintendo 64 in a game boy pocket that's where i started dude game game boy once i got the game boy sp i was like

Dude the SP was so bad! It flips. Me and my freaking that and the flip Nokia phones. I can spoil this. I got my girlfriend because this is going to air after fucking Christmas. For Christmas I found the special edition old school SP with the Pikachu and everything on it. That's a flip up screen right? Yeah the SPs went hard. I still have my original red SP from way back in the day. That one has the solar thing on it. The sun meter.

Yes, the SPs because there was a vampire game. Fucking comments, you'll figure it out. There's an old vampire game. It was kind of like Zelda. It was an isometric RPG. If you played in sun, you had to beat some of the bosses. You had to go outside in the sun in order to fight bosses because it would register real sunlight. What? Yeah. I shit my mouth. I don't remember this on the SP. The SP knew when you were outside? Are you sure it was just the clock feature? Yeah.

I want to say wait like it's daylight hours like I've never I don't remember seeing a sorry sorry you can't play this game at night time I remember like your game boy color some of them had the little IR reader so you could trade if you were literally like three inches away the kojima game the kojima made it kojima is the one the game that made you play in the sun

What console? Don't say SP. It was the SP. No way. Corky Outside, a Game Boy Advance title that let players play outside. Game Boy Advance was SP. Yep. Very good reason. Only book Boktai, the story of the vampire hunter who is more powerful during daylight. But to ensure these powers were properly timed, the game's cartridge included daylight sensors.

Told you. The cartridge? The cartridge had it. Yeah. So not the cartridge. That's crazy. That's Kojima though. Like Kojima is the one that helped with that. That's why it makes sense. I fucking told you. Well, no, but you're right. You're wrong. Yeah. You were saying it was like the actual SP. I'm like, here's the cure for cancer. And they're like, well, technically it's not.

- You said the conk, the SP did not have a daylight. - This is the right answer. - How did you get this answer? Show your work. And you're like, but I got the answer. - I did. - But show your work. - Yeah, was it right? - No. - No! - Wait, not to show your work, but the answer was kind of there. - No, it wasn't, kind of. - There was a game that existed at the time. - This isn't horseshoes and hand grenades, homie. Like, what do you mean? - Well, I was almost there. - Why can't we just get along? - That's not what we do here. - I know. - My feelings are hurt.

Good, that was the point! But you were right. You were right with the cartridge though. He wasn't right! Let's just- This is impartial- Not in front of the sun! Our kid's right here, Matty! Mom, Dad, please stop fighting. Let's go fuck. Oh god. Okay, that's where we're at today. Do I have to go back to my very thinned wall room now? Yeah. What's next to us?

All I hear is drop and give me 20. And I'm like, I know what that means. Mommy's a whore. Oh, no. I was like, God, I forgot about that shit. The SPs. Yeah. It was amazing. It was cool. Dude, those old games. That's why I love tactics. Dude, Kojima. I forget how much he actually tries to like innovate when he does shit. Yeah. Sometimes it goes the wrong way. But.

That's one of those perfect examples. I was like, yeah, I would remember boss fights. I'm like, duh.

- It's cloudy. - I'm like walking outside. - No training. - Shit. - A gamer had to touch grass. I'm upset. - I'm just hissing at the sky. - Like fuck this game. - I'm gonna do something that no Mexican has done before and I'm gonna go ahead and be a streamer and it's great. - And I love that because he does that and it jump cuts to him playing like lawn mower simulator. - Wait, what is this from? - Have you not seen that TikTok?

this is amazing. It shows a guy with a sombrero, a Mexican with a sombrero. And he goes like, I'm going to realize my dream. I'm going to be a content creator. And then a jump cuts to him fricking doing lawnmower simulator. And he's like, this is what I want. This is it. I have made it. I have made it. My family is proud of me. Look at this business I run. It's,

Look at the virtual streets that are clean. He pulls up to a virtual Home Depot. Gets his virtual Mexicans. Pulls out a Coors, sips a Modelo. See, Tris. Three Mexicans get back in your virtual vehicle. You're just running an empire. Man, this is oddly racist.

It's VR though, so it's good. It's a new DLC for Sims. Hey, let's hit up this white neighborhood. They pay more. It's true. We do. But only if I don't have to talk to you. Oh shit, we're getting pulled over. We don't have insurance.

Oh shit. I love my people so much. Oh boy. Love you Eddie if you're somehow watching this. Love you.

Dude, what are some of your favorite OG games? Oh man, I could like talk. This is like an actual nerdy podcast, which we usually just go off the rails. We're like, we just talk about cum for like 45 minutes. Yeah, that's okay. It's a classic, classic topic. If you had to fuck three dudes, how would you fuck them? It's like, that's our podcast. And it's in the gamer title. Like you can't just leave. Like who are the dudes? Well, big H right there.

Okay, who are the other two Ryan Reynolds? Oh, oh boy. I like your point Yeah, that's a good Johnny Depp mmm, it's a good one, but I don't know if it's a no how you say no to Johnny down you Robert Downey jr. RJ would be central. I think no

Well, no, that's true man. That's a hard route. I mean that that's those are two I mean jason momoa. Oh, you don't fuck him. He fucks you Let's be very clear. I think all of these guys are cracking up Superman's not gonna be on bottom He's a power bottom dude guys like to lay down too. Okay, no, dude. Have you heard with what's happening with chris?

My boy Superman, who's insanely in love with all things Warhammer? Oh, I bet he's freaking out. We haven't even discussed that!

Holy shit, he's going to be in a live-action freaking not only a wait. Hold on He is the one of these showrunners and producers. Yeah, so he's like writing and helping with the story Which is one of the reasons he left the Witcher cuz it was kind of taken out of his control and I got weird Yeah, and now the moment he can't be Superman anymore He is now dedicated all of his time to this project So, you know, it's gonna be good and now crit your buddy is helping and

Wait, who wait? What are we talking about? Chris Henry Cavill Henry big age. You said Chris you said isn't Chris the No, it's Henry Cavill it's him right there it's Henry big fucks Chris Chris it's not himsworth when I come up with Chris I thought I thought it was you're just throwing out names I

Dude Dakota is so excited. I thought it was a friend. Wait, wait, wait. What was the old Superman? Broke his back, died. Christopher Reeves. Got it. Yeah, I know what I'm talking about. There it is. He accidentally, he went OG Superman. It's fine. I got you. Thank you for making sure I didn't look stupid.

I was so- I thought you had a really good friend that was going to be working with Henry Cavill on the Netflix and- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

It's been like 20 something fucking years, come on! No, it's- no, it's- it's hilarious. He's like, "Just don't make eye contact, punch in on him."

- No, but yeah, he's now full in on 40K, 'cause it was The Witcher, it was Superman, then Bookshop did an announcement, and then literally two days after, he was like, "Yo, guess who we got?" - Netflix was our, Amazon, who bought it? Netflix, I wanna say. - I think, I'm sure Netflix bought it. - No, I think it's Amazon. - I think it's Amazon. - Didn't Amazon buy it? - I think it's Amazon. - Ooh. - Dude, that was the best deal, because I guarantee immediately they were like, "Yo, what happens if we buy the rights to this, "and we just reach out to Big H?"

We know for a fact he likes 40K. We know for a fact he likes Warhammer. We've seen his figurine collection. I guarantee you. So about two weeks ago, one of my good friends here in San Antonio and tattoo artist Drew, fuck you, he, uh...

started harassing me about getting into 40k so now i have like 10 40k sets coming to my house and then no shit the next week all this 40k news dropping i'm like

This was meant to be, I'm ready! Have you played the new 40k game? Darktide? No, I haven't. I played Vermintide a fuck ton. I haven't touched Darktide yet. It's literally Vermintide. It's just Vermintide. It's Vermintide with 40k in it. I hear fun things. I'm a psyker. I blow people's heads up. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you better like The Emperor.

Death Watch. Wait, are you? Okay, wait. So that means what's the last MMO you played? The last MMO? Sorry, this is just a nerd episode. That's like 100% the biggest nerd. Guns are dumb. We're talking about video games. Happy New Year's, motherfucker!

This will come out right before New Year's. Oh, happy New Year's. Hi. There we go. Nailed it. So many days. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I feel welcomed here. This is great. I'm so happy. We got a new best friend. I like it. Can't wait to 69 later.

Dude, I mean you saw the temperatures what it's gonna be like well 69 Dutch oven So that way like the heat will be right there at the base. God. It's gonna be so hard look just hard cut to a 69 Bring me

Just balls on the forehead. This is it. Here we go again. We're right back to balls on the forehead. Wait, wait. Do that again. Do that again. Mr. Sandman. Oh my God. God. Man. Okay. Yeah. Last MMO. Cause I'm assuming you're, do you play a caster or melee? So here's my thing. Usually with MMORPGs, I have no idea.

be at first, of course, obviously I was like all about damage, all about big numbers, that kind of shit.

But now over the years I've now come to the realization like whenever any kind of MMORPG I'm usually like a big damage dealer caster just because magic's fucking fun. Or I am actually either like a I'm usually like the paladin. I am a tanky healer because every single time I don't everyone in my party dies and they're like and I'm sitting there like

Force heal. They're like, oh, cool. And then he can go in. He can do more damage numbers and not worry about health. But then, heaven forbid, the second I leave him and I go over to the range guy because he's starting to take damage, then it's just like...

Where are my heels at? Why aren't you holding hate? And you're like, because you fuckhead. Stop. What are you doing? Hold on. Or you get a bad tank and the tank's like, I got you guys. Or the dude, if that, if you are a, if you are a dude, if you any kind of MMORPG, it doesn't matter if you are a regular tank, that's just there to aggro. Or if you were a tank, like a pallet, and then also heals a little bit. If you are going to be a tank that sits in the back, what are you doing?

You're meant to be big and fluffy. It sounds like trauma. Do we have some trauma down back here? Assault damage?

If for a reason, just get in there. Just get in the front. That's where you go. Just cast, just taunt. Magic. Just taunt. Tank and melee damage dealers are in the front, so they support each other. Usually, if you have a secondary healer that's in the back, ranged and tricking magic are always on kind of a middle ground, so they can go in if they need to and nuke, or they can come back with the healer. You've had some good experience in...

Sounds like Final Fantasy 11 or one of those older ones. Yeah, teammates are fun. They're not. They're not. Friends are fun when they know what they're doing. Look at me. Look at me. Agree with me. Look right here. What was the last MMO you played? Or what was your favorite one? Well, the last MMO I played...

Probably. God, it's been a while since I did it. Ooh, ooh, the last MMO that I played was, oh my God. What was the new one that came out that was a failure? - Amazon. - Yes. - New World? - Yes, I played that. Played it for boys content for a little bit just to see, because that was around the time when we had to stream. So I was like, the boys are playing an MMO.

none of the, no one else in the group does that. This is great. And so I just skyrocketed with that. And the game fell off. And then the game just went.

It did pick up recently again though. Well, it's I don't care. I fucking hate it. So like MMOs. That's why everyone even the last war of the Warcraft people were like Eli you gotta fucking play. I was like, no, what's going to happen is you're going to be super excited. You're going to hit in game and be like weeks of fun. It's the exact same thing as every other fucking MMO on the market ever. Here's my thing with that that really made me mad. You are making an MMO, right?

Massive multiplayer online game. Okay. Supposed to explore, supposed to do shit. When you make an MMO, and the only way to level up in that MMO is to give your players the same four quests in the same spot. That's protect, kill. Yep.

Fourth one fetch protect kill. Fetch protect kill and like it was like a Gather maybe? Gather? Oh yeah gather supplies. That's a fetch though. Well the fetch is usually just grab an item. Bear asses. No that's fetch. Well that could be gather. Because like a fetch could be like a quest. Oh yeah you have to go talk to another NPC to come back. But it's just like when you got to the point when you're like in the upper level 30s and you're just like

So what do I do now? And they're like, go kill skeletons. Bring them back. Go to this one place. Bring it back. Go get wolf hide. Bring it back. I'm like, oh, cool. Okay, at least they're different. What are the other quests? That's it. Go get a bigger wolf now. Go further now. Go find more skeletons. Go kill those. Yeah, and you're like, I'm only doing this for one level, right? I can go to the new town? They're like, yeah, but...

It's the same stuff there. Yeah. Oh, and in order to progress to the new town, you have to be 10 levels higher. Have fun. And I'm like, this is terrible. That's what I don't get on MMOs anymore. You missed out because your age, like EverQuest, I've talked about it. That was the pinnacle. Final Fantasy XI too. Those are the games where it was like, you didn't have bad players at the max level. Why? Because you got punished. Yeah, you got punished. You didn't get there significantly.

If you were bad. If you died, it punished the fuck out of you. You'd lose like one death. You lose 10 hours of progress instantly. So no one fucking died to get max level. XP loss in MMOs. I think Diablo had XP loss when you died. Maybe it was hard. Because obviously it wasn't a hard mode. Because if you died in a hard mode, you lost your character. Yeah.

- But XP loss in MMOs, that was a very hard but a very fun mechanic. - I miss it, 'cause you lose, you have five bubbles at every quest, you lose half a bubble, which took,

at the high levels, 20 hours could take like for one bubble and you're losing half of that in one death. So you were like the second you're about to die, you're like, no, no, no, no. And enemies didn't have, imagine if you had a granger, enemies chased you until you got out of the zone. So you would cause trains. So you'd have like 80 enemies like, Oh,

And you're just typing train as you run. You're like, please, just a train. Don't be at the fucking zone line. You'd like exit as you see people popping in. You're like, run, you fool. And there's like 80 miles of...

You exit out it takes four minutes to zone in because it's 56k and then you're just chow it's like you fucking did you got me murder and you're like I'm so sorry This is not good This is just the original yeah, so it's fun because it was the first I

Time a game like that existed that doesn't mean it's fun. Oh no quest to like quest even though it's called ever quest the quest were so Convoluted because there was no like exclamation point you had to type in specific words and when you know the first I want to say tell Velias the first three expansion sure what that means there was 15,000 quests never discovered in this game and

Ever discovered because people didn't know what words to type in, what did what. It was a fucking insane time back in like 98, 99. You didn't have the, you didn't have, you had cheat code central and hopefully there was a fucking document somebody wrote out on how to do anything. It was like, okay, if you look Northwest and kill the enemy, you have a 10% higher chance of dropping the item. Yeah. Did nothing pay off like that.

Meanwhile, I was just fucking just mass clicking on RuneScape. Were you a RuneScape? Mm-hmm. Ooh, I'm sorry. I know. It was... My only joy was bringing new players into the wilderness and then just slaughtering them. Oh, God. See, we would have got a... That was like... Dude, EQ, you can do so much shitbaggery. Just the shittiest things to new players. Were you a shitty person to people? 100%.

100%. 100%. You had the Oasis where when you were level 15 to 20, you would go level up. It's a nice, it's called the alley. And then my character, the Necro, you'd go invisible, grab the specters. Specters, as long as you didn't attack them, they would just aggro you. But they kill anything. They will kill anything on the path to kill you. So you grab them, grab four. Run. Run.

run by the island the aisle and you just watch level 15 players like what just getting one shot and just getting murdered like who's the asshole that's doing this my guy's invisible just running really fast to the zone line killing everyone i'm like zone back yeah i'm such a dick in that shit when i was just trolling um

Oh man, the good old days. What is wrong with you on a psychological level? No, I mean, that's me with Overwatch. I don't play that game for fun. I play that game to piss other people's days off. So just Lucio bopping? I literally, if I'm damaged, I am now my fun thing. I am now either a Bastion or I'm a Sombra.

Just because it's a little it just hacking people because it's it paces them are aiding that or my personal favorite which since shivers down people's spines in overwatch one I was a Symmetra main special is the portals and and the turrets

Oh, the little fuck balls with the lasers. Oh, yeah. And now they made it so they're like, well, Symmetra only has three turrets now. I'm like, yeah, but you can put them on any wall, any surface. And they added her thing with her main beam, which is as long as you are hitting them, the beam gets stronger. And you can just go ahead and melt a road hog in like three seconds. You just fucking cringe, isn't it? Did you play League?

Mm-hmm League of Legends. I did not play good. I don't ever I did not play League of Legends Do you ever RTS or what are those are those RTS is what is league considered now? I forget it's not get RTS, right? No, it's got its own name Fuck got it. You got it. No, I don't I believe in you. No League of Legends is a Legends

Please, somebody figure it out. I'm googling it. It's not RTS. That's like StarCraft, Age of Empires. It says it's a team-based game. It says a multiplayer online battle arena. Battle arena? Isn't that what they're called? But there's another name for them. There's a fucking shitty acronym like RPG or MMO. There's RTS. I'm mad. Oh my God. Put it in the comments. Somebody... I know. Hour and 17 of the podcast. Guys, here's your...

You're MOBA MOBA MOBA I'm glad that took all of us Mobile online fricking battle whatever I'm like fuck I don't think those are the things but you know what I'm gonna let us slide this time Alright cool God I forgot they were called MOBAs I used to play the shit out of those too like that was my most toxic player base you will ever meet the worst people you will ever meet the worst game in the fucking world I still remember when they came out with fricking players on battleground

Oh, dude. Holy shit. For the phone. I went out and I... For mobile? Yeah. You played on mobile? I went out and bought the...

like the little pad it's at my house just so that way everyone's like doing the touch screen on their phone and trying to like figure it out and I'm running around like with like a controller I played it on PC when it came out no I did too but when it came out on phone I would do that just to be like cause they offered me a brand deal once and I was like

I think this would be hilarious. So like all my footage was just me not using the phone control, but using a gamepad with the phone and just winning games. Like you piece of shit. How is it so good on a phone? I didn't realize that was one of the craziest things to me when I realized like,

the mobile content creator market, like looking at like mobile, like PUBG players, mobile Call of Duty players, like it's a different planet, bro. These motherfuckers are blowing up and shit. And like they have like arenas in. Oh yeah. You ever watch like a live like tournament of people playing this shit? Oh yeah. They're all just like hunched over doing this. I know it's like the WNBA of esports.

No one can name a team. Mobile gaming is just the WNBA of sports. Tell me I'm wrong, please. Microphone. And you can name one team for fucking mobile sports. I can't. Can't do it. Batty? I proved a very solid point right here. Holy shit, dude. No way.

No, you're not you're not a player keyboard and mouse or controller Not a fan of controllers anymore. Pretty sure they're gonna auto us though auto-aim I'm like you have your alarm, but you have aim assist, but you have your whole other hand for movement But you have aim assist

I am a keyboard and mouse player. Have you seen the, have you watched, uh, war? Have you played war zone two? Have you seen the level of aim assist on, uh, if you switch it to the proper, like, it's like, gotcha, bro. That shit just is. No, it's true. It's bad. It's, it's,

And they still, it's like, you have a keyboard and a mouse, and it's like, no, no, no, no. Like, you don't understand the level of aim assist. That's full-on, like, damn near hacks at this point. It doesn't move. It compensates for recoil, which is fucking ridiculous. Yeah. What? No, it compensates for recoil and control. So, like, just levels. So, does it, like, pick up and then drop? No, it doesn't pick up. It just goes, oh. And it tracks with them, Batty. Like, especially if they're a distance, it just tracks. It's like, ah.

You can tell a fucking controller player instantly. Man, I've got so many things. Like, I love playing Call of Duty. Go, girl. I have so many fucking wrong. I have so many things fucking wrong with that game. Mainly, one of the things I thought was absolutely, like, hysterical. I couldn't believe they actually did this shit. There were so many hackers in your game.

right? There were so many that you didn't know how to actually like ban them or like get rid of them. So in order to quote unquote make it a fair, you know, an actual fair environment for the non hacking players, you put a perk

in the game that was essentially wall hacks. Oh, did you shoot that guy and one of your bullets hit him? Well, for the next three seconds, you can shoot through the wall. You can see him through the walls. We're calling it like a sneak vision or whatever. It's a perk. And I'm like, so now just everybody has wall hacks. It was, and as an LMG user, because I use LMG, like people, I would hit them once they would go inside and I'd be like,

- Well, these go through that wall. - Yeah, exactly. - Oh, I'm behind the wall now. It's just like, I hit you with one of my mini 7.62 going through the wall. - And then Serpentine too, when it was like, oh, now you take extra damage. Or you can absorb more damage if you sprint. - While you're running, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I'm like, and they took a lot of damage. You'd be like, and they'd be like sprint. And you just unload and you're like, why? Okay. - Imagine if that was like a real thing. - It was. - You're getting shot, you're like, ah!

It's like a little it's like an immediate adrenaline just like a little button on your chest I'm fine. Yeah. Oh my god that so halo The new halo did you play a new halo? The first fucking world tournament for halo because people are like yo control is way too powerful on halo and people it was back and forth No, no

98% of the world tournament players controllers because of

how good the controller's aim assist to headshots were. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And people like Cosmic Lightning, where he showed up, he was invited to it, and he competed. He was like, bro, he's like, 98% of people have controllers on this. And that's fucking crazy. He's there with his Corsair K95 in his mouth. He's like, oh, no. Yeah. He's like, oh, I'm fucked, dude.

Which is crazy to have in a video game where it's like oh, yeah, not 50 50 50 50 like dope the aim assist is working good It's enough. It's so here's here's the question though with as games advance Cross-platform obviously has been a thing screamed about for the last ten years that everybody wants. Of course. What do you do?

do you just make the emesis worse or like how do you find a happy clearly finding a happy medium is hard oh it's so like you just turn it down like if if you go online you're like let's just crank it just a smidge more down until there's that happy medium we're like it's not this where it's like what oh he's moving and they have videos baddie where you just they show without shooting they just slightly moving and all and then the players running and jumping in the

It's just aimed on them and like, okay, this is a little bit broken. Just a smidge of problem. I don't know. Like, I like cross platform. Yeah. No, cross platform is fine as long as there's like a happy medium, which obviously is like super fun too. That's, it's kind of crazy to think about that now going back again, 10 years, you look at,

Anything you're going keyboard and mouse players would just shit all over any kind of console or controller Well, you can't use a controller now control post like it is my time. I have conquered the I have been summoned Get those what's your favorite like your genre of video games right now so I easily my my favorite

Series of video games of all time is the soul series. I love Dark Souls I had he hates it. I fucking hate why I hate them all because that's why we're friends. Have you beaten it? No, I've played a little bit no way Ring that's good. You're gonna get pissed when I tell you why ask him. I love the difficulty so So what about the aesthetic that you don't like?

I hate it. You hate medieval? You hate medieval? No, it's not medieval. It's a gothic horror medieval, and I hate it. Okay, can you rotate your arm for me real quick? Keep going. No, the other way. That's Boba Fett. Yeah, that's Boba Fett, right? He's got some cool-looking armor. Don't. You know what Boba Fett has? It looks like gothic. Normal proportions where his neck and arms aren't spindly and extra foot long. Why are you making your Elden Ring characters spindly? They're all...

To Sekiro to Dark Souls - what was the vampire fucking blood-borne fuck you every character those games their arms goes down to their kneecaps and their neck is a foot long and they're skinny and dumb I cannot

And the goddamn character design in those games. I love the enemies. They're crazy. They're fan, fantastical and wonderful. I hate, hate the character design. And because it's an RPG, I cannot get into it because I am so much of a dragon age, Lord of the Rings, that, that style fantasy. I cannot immerse myself. So I fucking hate it. He speaks for himself. Um, me, your narrator, um,

We love it. Sam. So. Sam. So what you're saying is you don't like people with long arms. Yeah, I hate them. Rankin-Tangling motherfuckers. I don't give a shit. Oh, calm down over there. Or long necks. Yeah. Dumb. It's fucking stupid.

I've never noticed that before. Like, every time I play Souls, I just go like, all right, make a medium build. Let's go kill some shit. Nope. I hate it. I'm such a Tolkien-esque fantasy nerd. Like, my D&D style shit. I cannot immerse myself. I can't. Oblivion, Skyrim. Look at the difference in the aesthetic. I can't.

That's where I was. So the aesthetic, okay, that you can have, maybe you just don't like the look of the aesthetic on that. Yeah. I'm still weird about the characters because even though they're like,

You know, you're saying they got long arms and long necks. Like most of the time, you're either holding the weapons up spindly, weird fucking arms. Your main character is. What are you talking about? The bad guys? No, every main character looks exactly the same in every one of those games. What? Hold up. Hold up. They look like humans. Just skinny ass humans. Skinny ass with long arms, fucking long necks and haunched ass fucking legs. They're dead, baddie. They're husks.

They're not going to have a huge bunch of muscles. Hold on. Watch. I swear to God. Show me a long neck. I can show you somebody with a long neck. Just Dark Souls 3 character. Go.

Elden Ring 3 character go Elden Ring 3 my favorite game. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You loved it. I will come over this goddamn table. One of my favorites. We do fight now. Okay. Okay. So so look at that right? My god those are such weird. So so is so his arms are about down to there right? His hands are about there like that normal. So watch. So so here's the thing. If I stand up.

Oh, you freak. Oh no, my hands are past my fucking hips like there's no- Oh god! No, they're to the knee in the game! They're always to the knee! Let me see it. Let me see it. Look at that shit and tell me that's past his goddamn knee. What game is this? It's Elden Ring! Sorry, it's not Elden Ring 3. But-

I'm going to defend Souls games to the day I draw my last breath on this planet. If you need, I will carry your ass all the way through the game. I had so much fun in the starting of the game. I just couldn't get into it. I played Demon's Souls. So I started with the Korean version of Demon's Souls. So I imported it. F-O-H, shout out to all you. Why is his neck so goddamn long?

It's why he's got a tiny little head. It's not long. Look at his neck. He's got a long ass neck and a tiny little head. It looks it is appearing long because the armor he's wearing is samurai armor. So it's going. I have played Ghost of Tsushima. Batty, I can take a picture of you and make you look like this with a weird small head too. If I take it from that low ass angle and you're angled up. Oh, so now it's the angle. Now it's the angle.

I hope your phone cracked right there. It's already cracked, I don't give a fuck. Man, I don't want to hear nothing until you at least beat the game. I can't. I literally, I cannot get into those games. Then your arguments are relevant. I played probably eight hours of Elden Ring before. I was like, I literally cannot do this anymore. Which one's it? Like, you're looking at the guy's, like, ass most of the time. What?

What's the problem? What's the problem? You don't like dude ass? I mean, good dude ass. It's just a donk. That's what you can customize in the game. It's just this huge butt.

Yeah, it's only on the guy character The Souls series or the the from software style games, okay, I I've never been able to enjoy it damn I've tried so many I have damn plates Kiro I have played darks. I didn't play two or one. I played Dark Souls 3 I was my first entry into that. That's a No - I I didn't buy blood when I watched a lot of because I was like I already hated Maybe I'll try I watch it. I was like fucking hate this. I

And yet you play D&D. I not only play D&D, I DM. I run games. I live for it. Alright, so next topic. Which is your favorite of the... Of the Souls series? Yeah. I hate it here. Yeah. Shit. Honestly, right now, probably Elden Ring. Elden Ring was fucking... It was...

Absolutely amazing. I'm so happy they put in the berserk. Don't look at me. The berserk sword, I just literally... I went and got it. Oh, yeah. Right there. There we go.

And then you level up nothing but health, stamina, and strength. And then you fucking dual wield them. And you're like, nothing can stop me. Just walking around swinging. Dude, it's such a good fucking game. Demon's Souls was my favorite until Elden Rings. Sakura was fucking difficult.

Dude, I watched Tweek play Sekiro for hours. I watched it. He died so... Tweek, you sucked at that game. Oh, shit. But then he got really good at it. Probably, yeah. That was the thing for me, because the Souls games, in terms of Dark Souls and stuff, were more about you can parry if you want, but it's more about blocking and attacking and getting those numbers out. And Sekiro was literally just like...

You better learn to fucking parry, dude, or you're done. It's learn to parry. Also, Dark Souls, you're like, I'm going to just walk away for a few hours, get some souls level up. Sakura's like, nah. You don't level up. Learn to block, stupid. And you're like...

And then it's like, also, you have to kill the enemies twice. Like, every enemy had a second form. Oh, dude. Monkey. And then you play Dark Souls 3 and you're like, you know what? I think I beat it. Oh, DLC? Oh, this is fine. Dragon. Oh, yeah. Dude, there were so many. The mega bosses in those? The only boss to have fucking three phases with...

You fought her in the first phase, you beat her, then she all of a sudden was like, "Oh, just kidding, I came back and my crazy grandpa dad who's in the chair is throwing fire at you, so now I have two." And then you beat both of them and you're like, "Oh, thank God, I beat it." And then she goes,

Now I'm on fire. Figure it out. And you're like, it's great. And what's her weapon? Oh, frost scythes. Two of them. Oh, and she can go invisible and teleport behind you and grab you. God, I love some of the video games on how they're just like, here's an enemy. Have fun. Yeah. And they're like,

Elden rings the witch in the library where you have to kill the other witches and hit the real one. And when you finally, you're like, hey, yeah. And you're like, I did it. Now I'll take this health. You don't have time to health because then it goes into the dream world with the moon beam. And I was like, and it's like moon beam. It's like, brr. My god, it just starts. I was like, the fuck is that second form? How did it murder me instantly? What the fuck, guys? Oh, shit.

D&D speaking of you guys have you guys seen have you guys seen the movie? Oh absolutely, so um I'm I'm a big big critical role fan perfect. I got you know obviously the flame alchemist Travis Willingham voice actor for it I Live for critical role that is the only reason I'm not Ryan Reynolds Yeah

These second season drops. What? Soon, soon. Like, soon, soon, soon. January or end of this month? I think it's like the end of January. It's the Chroma Conclave drops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you, Brian. Ooh. Little crush, little crush, little crush. Mr. Foster. On that note, Patty.

Thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast. My name is baddie streams. Of course, we have Eli double tap here and our new amazing beautiful wonderful friend at your narrator Can you please tell us where we can find you whatever you want to shill? Yeah, yeah, of course I'm youtuber go by your narrator. My second channel is just narrators very easy to find both and then I'm part of a group called the boys So check them out. We do wacky on real-life scenarios and yeah, it's pretty fun. They're cute. Yeah

Go fuck yourselves. That was rude.