85 - Holiday Hangover Part 1 ft. Demolition Ranch & Brandon Herrera ​
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Oh, yeah, are we doing eggnog first, daddy? I'm literally just gonna drink eggnog until I'm sick. Okay. I haven't tried eggnog in years. Wait, hold on. We gotta put in my drink. Are we shooting vodka or whiskey? Eggnog. I wanna shoot drop time. Dopamine. This one? That's actually pretty good. Oh, it's so creamy. Dude, look at this. This is drop... Whiskey. This is the first time vodka doesn't make me

Eli, you drink vodka all the time. I know, but I don't shoot it. I've watched you do vodka shots. I hate it. In what phase do I make it? Every time. I don't want to do this. I'm out. You guys are all pusses. I gotta go. This is my company. Wait, we need a shot cups too. Are you sure you don't want vodka came out of Tim? What are we doing? What are we doing with these? I don't know what's happening. Eli, what's wrong? Eli!

Why don't you just sit down? Are you? What is this podcast is going to fail. Say hi to Eli. It's racially ambiguous. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Don't know.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey guys, thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. Come on.

And that's where the, you come, that is. Come subscribe. Hey everyone. Happy Merry Christmas. Happy Merry Christmas. Thanksgiving or happy holidays. Hanukkah. I don't know what you're celebrating, but out of regs does. Married with charm. Married with charm. The fuck is that? I don't know.

- Batty, grab your beard cream here. - Hey guys, Batty from unsubscribe, I almost said Adderags. Batty from unsubscribe here. Head over to Adderags.com and why don't you try out some of this Batty beard cream or some of Batty's beard oil or

If still available, some smooth operator. That one's been selling out quickly. It's a good one. Some citrusy goodness. Or it's Christmas time. So go get peppermint and smell like a candy cane. It actually smells really good. She liked it. It's how you get. Actually, let's ask our surprise guest, Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill, what's your favorite? Here, Henry, smell this real quick. Oh, yeah. Do you like it?

Oh my God. Same. I know. I know. That's what you use in your hair? That's crazy. It makes sense. That's why your hair looks so good all the time. God, he is just staring into my soul right now. He applies. So that's right. Out of regs. Use code come for the holiday season. Or unsub. Whatever. Code unsub works as well. Thanks, Henry. Also, just keep this in. We're going to keep Big H.

And Ryan Renner was hella tall over there. He's beautiful. Until they're on the show. That is when we will retire these freaking things. One's going to go there and one's going to go right fucking there. Maybe not. I don't know. Shut the fuck up. That's where they're going. Yeah, the decor. It has to match my tism. I'm telling Big H you don't love him.

Also, we have soap. I just made this bottle just because it's full on. It just says soap. It's body wash everything shampoo. I just was like, can I get a bottle that just says soap on it? There's everything.

But when you ask man thing I've ever seen in my life, if you're a man, you don't know what kind of soap to use. This one's good for your hair, your skin, your asshole, your dick, or your, your hands. Even it's head to toe. One bottle. Clean your car. Think well, engine dishwasher, children, probably your clothes, vaginas. Don't eat it. Don't look at me. You said, don't eat it. Yeah. You said vaginas. Yes. Hope that's how you clean vaginas.

You're supposed to use like pH like sensitive. You're supposed to like don't don't put it in your vagina. Don't I wasn't expecting to be like Don't you know we were sitting here thinking this was gonna be the biggest one that on so good catch Number one come here. Come to batty daddy. Come here. What is wrong? What's your is it? Are you having a flare-up? Is it your tum tum again?

Yeah! Why are you laughing at tism? Because it's funny! It is funny. Matt, that's our word. I don't want that. Matty, don't! Santa Claus over here! Shut the f*** up!

Eli told Manna to shut the fuck up. That's a surefire way to get on the naughty list. We don't want to be on the naughty list. Eli told me to dress Christmassy, so I wore my sweater. He just wore a t-shirt. Wait, there's a hat for Brandon and me. What? Is there? I didn't know I had a Christmas hat. Oh, I have a feeling this is a joke. Oh, okay. Is that just a stocking? One's a sock. Get that one. I'll get whatever. Get that one. One's a stocking. That was for Batty. Stocking.

Will that fit on the head? Are we doing a shoeie out of a stocking? Which one do you want Brandon? I'm good with whatever. You can use- I'll take that hat. I'll take that hat. Dude, who did you steal this from? Karen. Okay. We stole that from Karen for sure. Today's spiraling out of control. Dude. At least we haven't started recording yet. Thank God. Okay. No, I want a hat. God damn it, man! I thought you had three in your hand. I thought you were giving me one. That one. Oh yeah, that looks good. Crash out of here.

Yeah, yo I can go cholo. Oh, this is made for a child No, it's Chinese it was made by a child Say hi to you with daddy. Here's your shot. Oh boy. Oh, thank you. It's real alcohol. Oh

Not fake alcohol. Why is it so hot in here? Because you put on a fuzzy hat. There. That would be even colder. All right. For a good... What's the... You're a dad. How do we do... What's the... Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. And to all a good night. Okay. Start recording now.

Okay, now we're whiskey. Oh, man. God, see? This is not bad, though. That was good. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. Today, we have Eli, myself, Batty, and our two very wonderful, amazing, beautiful, sexy, strong, wonderful credit scores, Demo Matt and...

Most of the things I said for Brandon as well. I don't think my credit scores are good. It's not good We start in hardgame plus as Mexicans just we start at 600. We have to work our way It's like a video game where you check you you have to pick your stack ranking It's just like oh you started out as a Mexican Yeah, you start at the base level like 305 and then have to work It should be Jesus Christ

Mission one. Complexion check. It's like ginger. Oh wait, these are cold here. Here, do you want black cherry? What do you want? What are you guys feeling right now? I am drinking a Red Bull vodka to wake up. Oh, that's, oh, you had the smart idea. I want to do that. Did we just grab fucking Red Bull? Here, Batty, no, give me that one, Batty.

Did you get Red Bull on the way here too? Yeah. Oh, fuck. I have one in the fridge. Matt, what would you like to drink? It's the holiday season. I'm solid, dude. Eli, it's okay. I'm just making sure the guests are okay, Batty. Fuck them. How much longer do we have to be on this podcast? Unfortunately, it just started. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. My thing's flopping around. Have you ever thought about getting guests who don't have shit to do?

That's why I picked you guys. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. I was like, who has nothing to do today? Today's Tuesday? I don't know. I said it was Friday yesterday on stream. I was like, by the way, guys, who had a great week? They're like, Eli, it's Monday. I was like, streamers do. Who had a great week last week? That's my last week, guys. Chill. I don't fucking know about this shit. Where's the Red Bull at? There's one over there. Oh, can I have that, buddy?

Are you mixing your eggnog with Red Bull? No, I was just drinking a fucking Red Bull. Wait, you've been drinking this? Yes, I bought one on the way over here. Oh, just one? I got one in the fridge. Yes, just one! I just wanted a Red Bull! That was really aggressive. You know where they've been. Everybody knows. Word gets around, small town. What is going on today?!

- Batty is- - His family is out of control! - This is our family episode! - This is the worst Christmas ever. - Hi, welcome everyone to the Unsubscribe Podcast. Today, we have Batty streams. We've already done this one time, but- - We already did, yeah. - Yep. - Oh my God. - You're here. - This is just- - What is- - Oh, fuck it. - Are you okay over there? - I'm leaving right now. - Is that an echo? - You okay, Eli? - I thought this was gonna be a nice family get together. We're gonna sit down, have some booze.

Dad's gonna get drunk hits the kids. It's gonna be great demos here But he built us a trampoline so We have to start with your dick out right

I think that's what we discussed. If you just want to stand up, I can get the clip real quick. If we can get to the top, you know, biggest... We got the thumbnail right now. Biggest video on Unsub. Okay, everyone just looks surprised right now. Little character over here. I thought he was actually... Oh, man. Oh, boy. Don't tell Mayor. Is that going to get on the... Yeah, I'm going to blur it out and put a...

I know how I do that VFX too, which is really annoying. I have to use a real penis and put it there. So when I pixelated it, it looks right. So are you just going to look through the 18 default penises that you have and you're like, that looks like it could be Matt's. He's like, I have way more than 18. Do you have default penises? Yeah. I guarantee you. Oh man, I have so many jokes right now. Why is it brown? It's just a pixelated black dick. Do you have default Mexican penises?

No, you have to download. The default Asian penis has already come pixelated. Matt, why do you get that joke? I don't know. I don't watch anything. Yeah, Matt, what's up? What's your favorite porn to watch? I like the Avatar ones, you know? I just wish I was the big blue Avatar guy.

We're trying to go through all the Marvel movies so how

Last night we were watching Winter Soldier. That's a good one. Have they not seen it before? He hasn't seen them all, so we've been trying to watch them kind of in order. What's happening back there? How old is your son now? Nine. Almost nine. He's into all that stuff. We've watched the Thors and Iron Mans, and now we're watching Winter Soldier. I still think Thor has the best series. I don't know. Died Eyebrow Thor was a little rough. That last movie was okay. I didn't see that one yet. We haven't got to it in the series yet.

It's- Oh, I liked it. I- I didn't mind it when I first saw it. It was not Ragnarok. It was not Ragnarok. They definitely tried to be like, Ragnarok 2! See, it's funny because now we made Thor the ha ha funny guy. It's like, okay, he's still a fucking god. You know, like, you could still give him a little respect on his name.

Have you seen all the stuff about Thor from the new God of War? I know you don't because you don't do video games. I haven't played it yet. Everyone's like raging because he's fat body Thor too. It's real Thor. Like real Thor from Norse mythology is like a big old thick boy. Like big. I just haven't looked it up because I can't. He's still badass and like lightning. Well, I mean try to find me a Norse dude who is not kind of built like a brick shithouse who's still swinging a 50 pound hammer. Fair.

Y'all have any scissors in this house? Yeah, what do you need? My sleeves are hot. Oh my god. I'm dying in this sweater. You gonna do the Goldberg fucking sleeves? I mean, we can do normal sleeves or we can go Goldberg. I'm dying. I got a knife. It is pretty hot in here. I have a razor.

Yeah, let's do it, dude. Razor. I got scissors in my truck right now. No, we can do it with a knife. Why do you have... Never mind. It'd be good content. My junk drawer box is still in the back of my truck right now. All right. I literally just had to use the scissors. That's the only reason I know they're... That checks out. I'm like, I need to do it. I'm going to do it. As long as you don't cut me. You went like here or here. We like sleeveless? Yeah, let's go sleeveless. Oh, God. Oh, this is a bad idea. If I just feel a knife go into me, I don't want to look. Yo.

Oh, that scared me. I don't like this. Eli, just rip now. Eli, no! Eli, what the fuck are you doing? Look how much skin I have! I know exactly how much. Just rip it! He's really swinging that thing. It's a good thing you don't have any... Just grab it. Pull it. See what happens. It's a good thing you don't have any arteries in your shoulder. Well, it's underneath. It's working. I know where the arteries are. They are all in the armpit. See? And the nerves. Don't hit those.

I'm a factor. My arm all of a sudden is just like *makes noise* Oh yeah, this is working great. Get it! Don't move! Oh god, this is where the okuris are! I know where they are! Oh, it's amazing! Oh my god, dude, that is a spot. Dude, I'm telling you, it's hot. Matty, you might if I just kinda... this way. Oh, my ear! Eli, put the blade in a little bit. You have the knife so far out. Yeah, why do you do that? Oh, that is uncomfortable to watch. Okay, there we go.

Guys you have zero faith in my chism hands. I really wish you guys could see my angle on this because it looks so much shadier. Oh no, the backside? Yeah, that was rough. That was like right near my neck. Get in there, get in there. Brandon, you have nothing to stand on. He did blow himself up. Watch a Jackanese video. Yeah, that would have been fast.

I mean his if we hit an artery he has what 12 seconds you're gonna lose consciousness and we're recording so I can say goodbye to whoever I need to say goodbye to. We're recording. You lose consciousness pretty quick. Now it's down the side so we gotta finish it from this side. God he's so strong. Maybe not that strong. Why is this one half? We almost made it. I hate how he swings it. It's the chopping for me.

I don't- did you watch the um... Man, where the fuck are you gonna get another sweatshirt like that? I shoulda- WOAH! Get outta there! What are you doing? Get outta there! I stuck a finger in my armpit. Ha! See? Oh, this is great. Thankfully we did that at the beginning of the podcast. Wait till he cuts your pants into shorts. Yeah, I need- hey, you got another knife? That's 40 minutes in after a couple of these.

- This is nine times better. - Dude, that AC sucks cock! - Is it on? - Yeah. - Did our AC break again? - Probably. It was here last week I had to wake up and come out here for them to fix it. And then here we are. - Wait, no, I felt cold air. - Yeah, it's blowing. - It's- - Giggity. - This thing is just a freaking, you know, it's like a sweater. - That is like. - It's thick. It's a real sweater, dude. - Yeah, you are brave. Hi everyone.

How you guys been? Welcome. You guys have never been. Shut the fuck up, Matty. Why are you here, Santa Claus? Hey, we're here with Eli and Matty and Brandon and Matt. Let's start the thing, guys. In like 10 minutes, can I do my intro? We'll just keep it going. Brandon, what's your name again? Thank you. Matt, you guys both had an episode pulled off of YouTube at the same time pretty much. We did. That was awesome. It was really fun. We found, what was the reason why?

What was yours? Actually, it was the same thing. Yeah, it was the same thing at like the same hour. Yeah. Basically, we did the... We committed the cardinal sin of showing us...

Attaching a suppressor and you know what's bullshit about that? Is everyone no he's just cussing out the game Everyone knows how to put a suppressor on it's in every suppressor movie the guy goes And everybody's like there. Don't get a certain here's my question are they now going to strike every video of a movie clip Yeah, where that happens for real? Oh god. I'm showing kids that put the resters on oh

Every single prop guns. Like you guys aren't using prop guns. Every nine year old boy. Yeah, we are. It's a gun that I'm using as a prop for the video. True. True. It just also could kill people. You could show any kid and be like, how do you do this? Yeah, they're all going to go. It probably just twist on. Yep. But my video, I showed it. What's the word? Gratuitously. Is that the word? You did twist on. How many feet? I threaded it on a ridiculous amount of time and we zoomed in. I was like.

And yeah, so I kind of went above and beyond. Do you think it was the screwing part? Like the slow? What if you just get like two pipes and you're just like, like slowly like screwing together? That's sensual threading. Actually, okay. So yours is baffle system where it's like one, two, three. If...

No, I actually even showed putting the whole suppressor onto the barrel too, but then also screwing all the baffles together. Now, is the baffles a tick or is it the suppressor on the gun? Mine was literally just showing the attachment of the suppressor to the gun. God, it looks like you have a fucking man bun and I hate it. You just have this weird little... Just the way it was. What's wrong with the man bun? I'm right here. So much is wrong.

It just turned around Brandon, it was like this little thing right there. I didn't even see that little loop at the top. You ain't getting shit for Christmas. Fuck you. Uh oh, here he goes. There we go. Get the knife. Now he's got a little fuzz. You leave the tag on but you tore the... God damn right. It's like a key and peel skit. Jesus fucking Christ. I want this nose. What? What?

This is where we are! Thank God it's hot as shit in here! People are gonna go, "What was the podcast about?" And they're gonna go, "I don't know." They were just ripping each other's clothes apart. That's what we were talking about at the intermission. Matt had his dick out and they cut his shirt off! At the end it was just four naked dudes drunk. Wrestling. Wrestling. So Tuesday. I just love the idea it's just muted other than the sounds. Just...

It's- did you just say it's muted other than the sound? Other than this. I'm trying to figure it out. ASMR. Yeah. There's no talking. Sorry, I've learned to understand Eli-isms. Yeah. I speak Eli-ish. That's autistic for sure. I did say that. Autish. We know what you meant. You might say.

Autistic-ish. Autistic-ish. Autistic. So why did you get a... Why am I fucking... Sorry about that. That was aggressive. That was aggressive. Eli's headed to the airport over here. What even... Man, fucking 18 minutes in, we get another lemon joke. That's rad. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Why did... And Allah Akbar. What? What? What?

So why did you get seven day a strike and he? Yeah, I didn't get a strike, which is crazy because mine was so much worse than yours. Yeah, they fucking hate me. Yeah. I think it was because you tried to make a pipe bomb. No, I didn't try to make a pipe bomb. I accidentally made a pipe bomb. I was intending to make a pipe two pipe bombs. What was the second one? Wasn't there two barrels hooked together? Oh, yeah. No, the other one just shot out.

Yeah, it did explode. Can we talk about Airsoft Fatty though? Dude, that was so- He dunked on you! He dunked on you! He dunked on me. He dunked- He called you an idiot! He called you an idiot! Here's the funny part. So there's history behind this that you don't know. Okay. He was in my fucking comments before about that shit. Like, he was in my comments section like, I love what you're doing, man, but like, you just have a fucking moral responsibility to be better than this or whatever. I'm like, dude,

On that video, he was in your comments. It was on a bunch of other shit too. It was just like before and I'm just like, man, you are A, mentally ill and B, physically ill. You're going to die very soon. You can't say what I do is dangerous when your dietary habits are... You walk down in his house and there's cat shit everywhere.

Like, bro, I could fucking slice you with that box cutter and like high fructose corn syrup would pour out like that. I was just flipping Instagram and like that pops up and I'm watching it. And then he just drops your name. And I was like, oh, you know, it was great. What did he say? He just called you an idiot or something? Well, because he did a whole it was like a whole bit. I can't remember exactly what he said or something. I don't know. He was he was on a podcast with some other people or some shit. It was like Idubbb's other podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. A bunch of people just started sending it to me on a plane one day. And I'm like,

Oh, this is so good. They're like, it made my day. He's the fat kid who did like the lightsaber duel thing or whatever. Yes. Don't go. What was it? Full, full force or some shit. You never go full force. Yeah. And his buddy, what? Because his buddy's like, I mean that whole family's video, dude, I just, it's a family autism right there. And what,

What the friend is the one that's a serial killer? What? Like actually? I mean, did you watch that full video iDubbbz did with him? No, fuck no. Oh, you need to. No, for real. Waste an hour of your life and watch most of it. Bro, that is when you... Part of it, was iDubbbz making fun of him or was he... Is iDubbbz kind of into it? Both. He showed up and he was like, I was not expecting what... He was like, there's a lot of autism. Like, that's his joke. He was like, there is a lot of autism. He's like, I showed up and then it's like...

Airsoft fatty and then his fringe cameras there The friend he would duel lightsabers with and then they couldn't anymore because they always friend will force go full force and like I joke all the time about dying young and dying early and then like I compare my stats with somebody like that I'm like oh dude I'm gonna outlive this guy so fucking hard

He rolled bad stats out of the gate. I don't think he rolled those stats. I think he ate a lot of those stats and then noticed and kept eating those stats. You need to go, like, watch his house when they walk downstairs and items. It's like your cat just shits and pisses everywhere down. He's like, yeah, it's the litter box pretty much down there. Just everything. And there's just like cats running around everywhere. There's like boards against...

Now, the question is, like, do you think that that is, like, the celebrity shit that is happening to them? Or is that, would they be pieces of shit like that if they weren't famous for being pieces of shit? I don't know. Well, I mean, they were already pieces of shit when it was filmed. That's fair. That's fair. You know, like, Idub's made them celebrity pieces of shit, right? You think that's, like, a moment in time where they might have, like, recovered and made something of themselves? Nah.

- No, it's not at all. - It's like, you know. - I don't know, maybe like be a semi-normal dude. - You ever take a big shit and then you flush it and it gets stuck but mostly in the drain? Like it's down there. - What, mostly in the drain? - Yeah, like you can still see a waffle shopping down your shower. Like what the fuck? - Listen, like you're flushed to be shit. - Okay, ready? Let's just calm down.

I don't know what y'all talking about. Did you never heard the poop knife? There's a guy on Reddit. Wasn't it a chick? It was a family. It was a kid that it was...

What is something you found out wasn't normal in a family until you went to a friend's house? And the kid pooped and he's like, where's your guy's poop knife? And the family's like, what the fuck's that? They all took too big of shits and so they would take their knife and they would cut their shit. Pop it up.

Yeah, that one went viral for a minute. Yeah, no, I forgot the details of that one. That's real bad. That's what I'm saying. It doesn't matter anymore because we brought in the poop knife. No, we always use a stick, so that's a better idea. With a rubber plunger on the end, probably? No, just a stick.

This is your mansion and you have a poop stick? It's old and it's sharp. We swirl it around in the clean water after the poop goes down. I've got something that I'm not even sure I can fucking say. Well, you got it if you don't. Okay, so it's something that my dad used to say as a joke growing up. And I'm like, I'm remembering this as an adult. Like, this is some shit from when I was like eight or nine. Oh, this is core memory? Core memory. I'm just not remembering it. My dad would have to take a massive shit. He would just go like...

- Jesus. - Fluck will let you decide. - They're like, "Fluck, our fate's in your hands." - Fluck, what do you think on this? - Oh, it wasn't any of us.

You know, we didn't do it. What? Oh, I did it. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Well, when the cameras and the audio, we cancel your dad. Yeah. My dad gets fired. He's like, what the fuck you say? Right. Mother of God. Mother of God. Every mattress has a 20 year warranty. Some even has 25 and you can try it out for 101 nights.

If you don't like it, you can send it back. How do you put up with him? Do you tune him out like your child? No hard feelings. One of my favorite parts about GhostBed is that mattress has cooling technology in it. So you don't get hot at night unless you're Batty. You can tell he sweats. Do you sweat, Batty? Does the cooling technology help that? Batty, wrong camera. You have to look at that camera. GhostBed also offers bundles of

So you can get everything you need. It's kind of like Santa. He's still going, Sav. He's literally a child. You have to ignore. Right now, GhostBed is offering 30% off of everything if you use code unsubscribe at checkout or visit ghostbed.com. Eli, why do you have a Christmas hat on? Because it's Christmas time. Hi, guys. Do you want a better night's sleep for Christmas?

Maybe you don't want St. Nick waking you up. I don't. That's why GhostBed.com is having a 30% off if you use code UNSUB right now or to go to www.ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get your 30% off on your new cooling technologically advanced mattress.

Betting technology. Betting technology. That's what I'm going to call sex from now on. Betting technology. So good. It keeps batty cool.

In the evenings in Texas. Not in this house, though. Not in this house still. It's like Batty's old house. It just follows Batty. It's worse. It is. It follows Batty. It's actually worse. I didn't think it could get worse. But good thing this pillow has cooling technology to keep us cool, even in this literally insufferably hot house. Not right now because the heater was off. Yeah, it's not good. It's cold here. It's not cold. It's hot in here. You're hot right now? Hey, Big H, are you hot? Yeah, me fucking too.

Oh, Merry Christmas, Big Henry Cavill. Also, I would just like to formally apologize about the Superman and the Witcher thing. We love you. We love you. What is this? We love you. We're doing ad reads. Stop it. It's not a podcast. This isn't an ad read. Yeah, but he can put it somewhere in there. Dude, don't get him. Are you looking at me or Big Ed? You! I'm looking at you! Let me see. Use code unsubscribe over at ghostbed.com, guys.

It's one of those jokes. She's like, Ooh, this one's rough. Oh yeah. That's one of the questions today. I really fucked up ones. We have questions. Yeah. We're doing something. Yeah. Fucking right. First. It's a lame question. What was your way to sell it? I know. Well, I want to fucking set it really low. Cause then we go really hard on the other questions. Batty, what was your worst Christmas present you've ever got? Or your favorite? Oh, my parents got a divorce.

And they gave that to you for Christmas? Yeah, it was my fault. I picture you opening it up and it says "Deport" Thanks dad! He watches this. I was just gonna say like before I knew that, your dad is dope as shit. So I'm sure he had a good reason.

I picture you opening a divorce. And it's like, two Christmases. You're like, what is this? And they both are staring at you like, read it. Sound it out. Read it. Divorce. It's divorce. Sound it out. It's my fault. Yes. And that's why it's your gift.

He re-punches soon. Just blame Batty the entire time. It's actually their Christmas present. They just enjoyed seeing the reaction. Only two weeks of him a year. We'll split holidays. What was your favorite? Favorite?

Like childhood or like now? Because recently I bought a lot of dumb guns recently. We get whatever we want, both. Okay, childhood, my daisy red Ryder BB gun. That's a good one. That's a good one, yeah. You'll shoot your eye out. I was literally that kid. 100%. Big glasses, little red Ryder. I was seven years old or whatever, five. Still have it.

Oh, I got an operator Drewski story about our little BB gun. Yes. Did you shoot your brother with a BB gun? No. My dad came up and he found our dog with a BB in its ear. And he was like, Drew, did you shoot buddy in the ear? And Drew's like, and he just starts crying. He's like, what happened? He's like, I didn't mean to shoot him. I thought he was something else. And I shot him and he didn't, Drew didn't tell anybody. And then my dad finds a BB in my dog's ear and.

Yes, Drew shot our family dog in the head with a BB gun. Does the internet know this story? Or do you just throw them under the fucking bus? Every time I come on, suck it, Drew. You could have told me that before we went hunting the other day and I trusted him around our rifle at night. I would not have. Did you shoot Brandon with a 7.62? I didn't know what it was. It has knobs on it. I thought it was a pig. Meanwhile, my brains are on the rocks over at the ranch like...

Well, that's weird because you're using a .308, nobody else is, and that definitely looks like a .308. He came out of nowhere.

He just fucking crucified Drew. He had it coming. That's what brothers are for. It's true. First off, it was an accident. Oh, how old was he? He was, I don't know, young. 22? 9, 10, 11, I don't know. Did he cry like a bitch? This was last year. I wasn't there. I was already in college. My dad was like, hey, so Drew shot Buddy in the head. Your brother wants to be a vet too, apparently.

Trying to put old guilt on him and make sure he's got plenty of business. Jesus, I just threw him under the bus. Oh, man. That's cold-blooded. He is definitely going to have something to say about that. I'm going to just send that clip to him. Brandon, favorite and worst. I don't know if I have a worst. I don't remember a distinct worst. Oh, my God, it's blacked out. Yeah, I try to forget most of it. I'm not remembering shit anyway these days.

Best? I don't know. When I was 18, I think my parents got me a Sega 12. Like back when those were super cheap. What? Well, you got to remember that was also nine years ago. So cool though. Nine. Wait, shit. I am. Wait. Yeah, when I was 18, that was definitely nine years ago too.

Yeah, that was back when you could pick up a Saiga 12 for like 400 bucks. Your parents just... Oh, okay. Wait, they used to be that cheap? Yeah. I had a Saiga 12 back in 2006 or something. Way before the Russian import ban and all that shit because Obama stopped the Saiga imports. Thanks, Obama. That's the title of this episode. It's just, thanks, Obama. Merry Christmas. Obama ruined Christmas.

The thumbnails great. I didn't realize they were that cheap at one time. So that's your favorite though. Oh, yeah, that's the one that comes to mind I don't have like I don't have any of those like 80s Christmas memories Everybody seems to have like that was the Christmas I wanted a fucking big wheel or whatever whatever it is Whatever the fuck a big wheel was it ruined so many adults fucking lives those those tricycle things. Yeah, like I'm never I don't get the fuck out of here. You're my age bracket. I

40s apparently. But you knew what a big wheel was. Yeah, I know what a big wheel was. You didn't have a big wheel ever? You had a big wheel? You had dirt floors but a big wheel? No. In the communities he lived in, he had his neighbor's big wheel. Oh, my dad stole it for me. What's your shirt say, Brandon?

- Stereotypically transfer equipment to an alternate location. - Steal. - Matt, favorite and worst. - Most people are gonna remember their worst. - I don't remember my worst, no, I don't know. - My Christmases were all pretty good. - I was appreciative. - Rich white. - We were appreciative as a kid. - Rich white kid. - My best was my brother and I, they added up our two Christmases and two birthdays. We got a go-kart. That was my favorite. - That's pretty rad. - Shit, that's a good one. - Hell yeah, okay. - You got a full go-kart? - Yeah.

But it took four holidays to get it, though. You didn't get any birthday presents that year? No, they were like, oh, I think we got it for, like, in between. My birthday's October, so we got, like, in between them all. Like, this is for y'all. Here's the difference between Matt growing up and me growing up. Matt, did your parents do layaway? No. Yeah.

That's it. Can you lay away a go-kart? Dude, my parents like lay away the beginning of the year. They'd be like, the Sega Genesis, Eli wants that, and it's a family present. Is that still a thing? I guarantee you. I never understood the purpose of layaway. I remember layaway. That was a very large part of my childhood. It's called being bad with money. Even as a child, I couldn't understand the concept of layaway where it's like, okay, but you don't get the item until you pay it off.

So like, why don't you just save the fucking money? And then I realized most adults are idiots. But now you just have credit cards, so there's no need for layaway. It's easy to go into debt now. Yes. That's not evidenced by our financial situation in the market at all.

I love none of you guys. Like layaway was norm for my family. It was just something. Absolutely. They're like, ah, we're getting this. This is what we're going to do. Okay. We'll get you a Sega Genesis and the entire family. This is a family gift though. I'd ask for that.

And then I got nunchucks when I was like six. I remember I was super stoked about those real nunchucks. Like real, like with the hard handles. Yeah. And I hit my brother in the lip like one week afterwards. And I was like walking, spinning backwards. And he was walking towards me. I was like, look, we're cool. And he was like, what? I hit him in the upper lip. So what you're trying to say is he asked for it. Yeah. He had a coming fucking little brother. Imagine being born second. Drewski. Do I have so many good Christmases? Cause you're not first or last.

And my worst one was my Nintendo 64 because they got me that for Christmas and they didn't realize we don't have the AV cables. Oh, no. So I was still coaxial. So I had a Nintendo 64 I couldn't play. I was just like, this is the worst Christmas ever.

That's rough. My heart was broken. But then the next day they bought it for me. And I was happy again. This is like hands down the worst and the best Christmas ever. You know, it's kind of funny because I do remember like

some of my better memories of Christmas were like me and my brothers you know you're like nine or ten or whatever and like you you don't have to go to school for a week and I remember just sitting like with lawn chairs in the living room it's like the whole family there just sounds like pop out playstation 2 and like just all chilling around and just like just around for hours at a time just trading off the PlayStation controllers and like

I don't know, it's weird. I don't know if that's just like a 21st century thing, but like a lot of my positive memories of Christmas have video games somewhere in it. Yeah. For sure. When I would get video games, I was so pumped. Oh, look, it's a video game podcast. This is a video game podcast. I'm bringing it back around. Look at us. Look at us. Wait, well, we had it for about 12 seconds. That was nice and well-lasted. That was good. Wait, look, Batty, come up with a question real fast because I got some fucking good ones. I have a question. Yeah, Matt?

Before this podcast is over, can we break Brandon's chair? Yes. I can do it right now. Wait, before it's over, Brandon, his chair is about to break. The couch? Oh. You want to sit on Santa's knee, tell him what you want? I've got some ideas. Why is Brandon spinning? That's a dick joke. I don't get it. What do you do when you're like really stressed?

Do you go to BetterHelp? Why, yes, I do. Good transition. Give me three seconds so I can pull this up for BetterHelp.com. Oh, no, it's everything. Look, you're good. You can fix this. I have these at home. I know how they work. I need help. BetterHelp than you. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online. Say the word. BetterHelp. Damn, Skippy.

Please do not miss this disclosure. Perfect. Hey guys, one thing I've discussed weeks before and now and all the time is therapy. Therapy, therapy, therapy. It is important. It motivates you. It makes you better. It gives you tools for not only yourself, but family and friends and relationships. That way you can learn how to communicate. You can learn how to...

express your emotions in a positive way instead of a toxic behavior. And that is truly important. If you want to get further in life, you need those tools to succeed. Learn how to communicate, learn how to talk, learn how to break down your emotions for not only you, but your partner, your friends, your family, and you will see a huge change in everything around you. So please, for the love of Jesus, maybe not Jesus, maybe like Buddha,

Same thing. Whoever your deity is or no deity, if that's your thing too. Tyr. I don't know. Thor. Thor is a great deity. Probably didn't do therapy judging from the movies. Gaben. Gaben. One of my favorite. Gaben. Gaben. Steam.

Oh, okay. I was like, I am so confused right now. Okay. So that being said, get unstuck with better help. Uh, learn more and save 10% off your first month at better help.com slash unsub. That's better help. H E L P.com slash unsub 10% off. Go make yourself better. Don't be a drew or a baddie. It's baddie. Come up with a question real quick. Go.

Prep prep. We have two big guys sponsor is I don't fucking know right now. We'll take care of it. Okay Everyone's like he was so uncomfortable in the Adam and Eve post but then you were talking about throbbing exhaust I was yes, I black out sometimes

Dude, okay. How's the 25 days of Christmas been going for you? Because that's been like a lot. Oh, yeah. Dude, it is a lot. Because before you did 14 days or some shit. We did 12 days of Christmas, yeah. And so this year we were like, let's do 25. And yeah, we pretty burned out. You're fucking sick of it. How many days did you not have filmed? We have three days left to film. We were trying to stay ahead, but yeah, we have three days left to film. Well, thank you for taking one of those days off and coming and hanging out.

You're so welcome. Are you supposed to be filming right now? What? Are you supposed to be filming today? Nah, we'll figure it out. We're actually going to Montana. We're filming three episodes in the snow. And it is negative like eight degrees. It's going to suck. I've never been in that cold. Why? The low is like negative 20. I fucking hate the north. It's negative teens. Good question. Why? Well, we planned it back when we thought it was going to be like 20s, but it's the negative 20s. Negative teens. Raise your hand if you got an invite this year to be on his show.

People who are shadow banned on Instagram so since you're not bad my bad is gonna be shadow ban one day when he gets big enough I actually have been Thousand like that's weird. That's suspicious the audience does not relate to you right now Oh

I know what you're getting at. They're like, I get 32 if I'm lucky. No, that was, Batty was telling me how they did the thing and then he missed his completely. Wait, has this aired? Can we talk about this? It has not. Oh, this will be Christmas. Yeah, it airs in like a day. Oh, yeah. Tomorrow. Yeah, it airs tomorrow. And you missed, Batty, you missed yours completely, right? He missed it by a foot at first. And then on his second shot, he missed it by like a foot and a half because he thought, oh, I need to aim low.

but he actually needed to aim higher. I was like, I missed low. I better aim more low. I'm dumb. He shoots it. My brother in Christ, this was your career. This was an army sniper, guys. Don't hit the hostage. Tax money sure did pay off. The hostage was like... Shit. Aim higher. They were little ceramic elephants, so when you hit them, they're like...

and Batty hits like 18 inches away from his. He was like, man, he was trying to shoot the hostage taker in the head, but he obliterated the hostage's cock. To be fair. To be fair. I did correct that pretty good, though.

I was like, give me that. I fucked up. I put this stick around and I nailed it. So you realized, oh, I need to not aim lower than low. Yeah, well, I'm sorry. We were shooting. What was it? A 450, a 400. It's a 50 line ball. Yeah. What the fuck? Wait, what the fuck? That doesn't make this sights work different. Yes, it does. Just the anticipation. It made my hand hurt more. I didn't actually think that one was that bad.

It was like, because it's slightly smaller than a 500 mag. Yeah, it's not as bad as a 500, but it's worse than a 44 mag. Yeah. It wasn't comfortable. Not comfortable. Wait, was this a revolver? Yeah. Oh. It was like a Magnum Research. It's a Magnum Research, but it's just like, it's a weird caliber. I don't know what that caliber, like where it came from, but. I don't think I'd ever heard of it before. A line ball? Not a single time. I can't even spell it. Not even sure if that's how to say it.

And you did get what brand? What was your gift or present that you were shooting at? The gifts were weird. It worked out for me great. Did you fire them all? No, they were the targets for the next day. Oh, you did? No, we didn't. Oh, this is awkward. Welcome to Demolition Ranch. How many shitty interns will a 50 cal go through? 12. Hey, I think you guys are doing great, just so y'all know.

It was funny because I was like two weeks sober at that point and my final gift was a shitload of like booze. Like hard liquor, White Claws. Although they did their homework because that Gentleman Jack is my whiskey of choice. Yeah, they're fans, dude. I got a killer helmet from fucking Tarkov. That shit was fucking awesome. Should have worn it this whole episode.

- Wait, that was your gift too? - Yeah. - Damn. - It was making Eli even more mad that I didn't invite him. - I also got a body pillow of Matt, which I guess was a gift too, Matt. - That was mine. I actually didn't know you actually took that home. - Oh, I 100% took it home. - Jenna was like, "Yeah, Matt, you took that home." And I was like, "Wait, he really took that?" - Yeah, I did! - It's a body pillow of me that's like four feet tall.

- The portrait of me is actually hanging in my workshop now, looking down at my employees. - That's the one with the bullet hole in it? - Yeah, we're gonna put a bandaid over the bullet hole, 'cause I shot myself in the liver. Morty, Morty, I got shot in the liver. It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy, and now there's a hole in it.

The amount of people that are like, bro, there's somebody behind you. It's sitting in the way background of my set right now. And it just is just like peeking over my shoulder. The four foot tall mat. Oh, see, that's amazing. I missed out. Stop checking your phone. That's not important right now. So you're not kind of watches it. It's a Garmin.

Oh, wait, Garmin gets iMessage. It just shows me someone just spent $900 on my credit card. So I was just wondering what was going on. Well, that's rad. I can't tell you what they bought, though. It's going to be cool. Yeah, I got one of those like Tag, Tag, Howard, Tag, Hoyer watches. And it's like Bluetooth. Yeah, it's Bluetooth everything. It just doesn't fucking connect to my phone anymore. It's like it's a big bummer. Twenty five hundred dollar watch. Oh, this is like a hundred dollar watch. This one, like I actually like that's like a nice watch brand. And it's called the Connect.

But it doesn't connect. About a week after I bought it, it stopped connecting to my phone. So I'm very upset about that. I don't have a watch. What happens when you impulse buy without reading reviews? I'm watchless. Bet you won't throw that watch right now.

Lost that bet yep, how much are we been it's too late perfect it landed right on the soft couch I know I was like oh he threw it as something At what point did TVs like smart TVs become basically free holy shit three that was $300 75 inch TV fucking five years ago that would have been two grand yeah, I

Like I remember when I was, this is a fun story. When I was, I must've been 19 fresh out of basic training. I was like, I'm gonna buy a new fucking TV with this private money I'm earning from the army. One month of work, bro. I bought like a 40 inch TV. It was like 700, $800. And I was like,

Fuck yeah, I realized I wouldn't I couldn't afford anything. I had to return it Because I was like I can't afford gas or food or anything I returned this TV

I had it for a weekend, played a lot of Xbox on it, returned it. Dude, there's like TVs now. It is ridiculous. You have a smart TV with everything. Got like a Roku built in smart Wi-Fi connect fucking Ethernet cable in the back. And can we please just start having smart TVs now that have like a remote that has a regular keyboard?

Because I am so fucking tired of having to like log into shit. Yeah, you like use your password. It's like, no, I'll just watch it on my phone. It's going to take forever. Or just like a plug in. So like the old Xbox, you remember you could plug in the old Xbox keyboard? Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys, does your TVs, mine had a thing like a QR code. You scan it and use your phone as a keyboard.

No. That solved that problem. It was fucking literally like, it's like, oh, do you want to log into anything? It just shows a QR code on your TV. You photo it. It's like, boom, use your keyboard and you can type in. I think I just need to have one of those where I just have a PC next to my TV. Honestly, use that. Yeah. Like the interface is just so much better.

I just like the awkward quietness. That's why I was letting it hang for a little bit. I was like, let's hold this for a bit. Ready for another shot, guys. Oh, boy. I'm just going to. Yeah, no. Are we doing this? No. No, we're not.

It's Christmas, Batty! We didn't do it. Oh, fuck, man. We fucked Fluck. We'll do a happy of this, though. No, we won't. It's vodka. It's not that bad. No, we already tossed our cups. No. Did we toss them? I will get them. I will pick them up. Stop it. Right now. Stop it. No, you fucked it, Batty. Right now. Oh, yeah, you guys been watching the cyberpunk...

Oh, yeah. That was Edge Runners. Edge Runners was fucking fantastic. I'm sorry to anybody who is disappointed by this. I hate anime. I really just don't like it. I fucking loved Edge Runners. It was fantastic. There's like a couple anime that I'm like, I will get fucking into. And that one was one of them. Yeah. So fucking good. And that was the last anime you watched. Dragon Ball Z? Nope. Yeah, I've watched Dragon Ball Z, I guess. But yeah, I don't ever watch anime. I used to watch like Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon as a kid. Yeah, absolutely. 100%.

Like as an adult, like anime just doesn't trip my trip. Although Invincible was fantastic. Invincible was, uh, Invincible, not Invincible. Give me all the fucking VOD, Eli. Like, no. I don't see anime and immediately go like, oh, I will never watch that. I just like, the style doesn't do much for me, I guess. Yeah, that's fair. But yeah, occasionally there's like those little ones that I'm like, all right, that was fucking. Ah, man. Fuck it. We're going to talk about Edgerunner. Spoilers are going to happen. It's okay.

It single-handedly got me heavy into Cyberpunk. You've been streaming lately? Don't skip ahead. We're not going to spoil anything. Wait, you've been streaming? I stream all the time. Pretty epic content, actually. For real, you've streamed like four times in the last five days. What? Four times in the last eight days. Okay. No shit. I've been doing pretty good.

- Pretty good. - Almost 20 minutes each time. - All I do is just watch my most recent Demolition Ranch video and say, "All right, bye." - How many subs are you at? - We, no, subs, I don't know. But I got like almost 200K followers. - He's like, "Anything less than 10 grand, "I like don't physically see it." - I don't make any money on Twitch. - You probably do, actually. - No. - That's honestly why. - It's probably not linked to a bank account. - No, I don't make any money. - You have subs, you know that, right?

I've seen people subscribe to you. Just recently? No. Literally. There's literally people subscribe to you. Not many. You make like $2 per sub, right? $2.50? Yeah. No, I made like $19 on my last stream.

I don't make any money. I do it for fun. I have a hard time believe I don't believe that I know You can yeah, you can you have the fucking analytics? Yeah, I'm gonna log into your fucking It's the worst fucking mobile app I have ever seen I Can't cuz the fucking search function isn't working you won't be able to see it anyways I

I was just curious to see his views and stuff. There you go. 199.2 thousand followers. So close. Damn, that's actually pretty good. You got more followers than I do. I actually used to work really hard on Twitch. Wait, that's what it is. Really? Did you really? When? I mean, like, not compared to you, but... Working hard is a bitch. Yeah, like three days ago, 2K views. Well, yeah, okay. If you're only streaming for 14 minutes. Right here.

It's going to be more than I think you think. How do I check how many? Analytics. I'm in analytics. It's going off last. Yes, it used to be. I don't know if I still am. No, he's a partner. Partner? Yeah. Oh, god damn it. How do you find subs on that? Nightmare app. Oh, this app. Yeah, someone just like partnered me before I even ever started my Twitch. Weird.

I'm stealing all of his info right now. God, whatever is on your glasses is killing me. It was white claw splash when I cracked it. It's fucking killing me right now. New subscriptions. Oh, maybe it's not that many. I told you. I'm over here like that meme of the kids sitting in class like,

Veins popping out of his head like we almost talked about cyberpunk You can talk about it. Just we were we were edging it well, just don't give key moments of right you subs your last stream well cuz what Cuz you were straight over 20 minutes Well cuz we were talking about the new DLC that we at lunch early before man. I did not know that was a thing I

So Edge Runners got me back into Cyberpunk. The actual game, 2077. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I hadn't played that since it came out. I loved it when it came out.

I ditched it for like two years, and now I'm back into it, and then I found out in a couple months they're dropping the new DLC, which I didn't fucking know was a thing. I just watched the trailer on the way here. I'm so surprised, because that's why I was like, I thought that's why you were playing it. I was like, oh, you're getting ready for the new deals? No, because I'd watch the Netflix show, and I'm like, all right, fine, I'll watch it. That game has so many titties in it. It's so good. It's kind of great. We were saying earlier, that was...

That was the first game to actually do sex in a non-awkward way. It wasn't like Grand Theft Auto paying for sex, but well, I guess you technically can pay for sex in it too, though. It was like Joy Toys or whatever. Joy Toys, yeah. Witcher 3 didn't have bad sex. I never played Witcher. Witcher 3, you walk into a brothel and you're just like, hey, I want to fuck you, and then you pay for it, they have sex. So it's a brothel. Yep.

It's very transactional. That's literally about it. And then you have your couple romance things, but Witcher was very straightforward. Witcher was actually really good. It's the same company. It's CD, product, magic red. Yeah, project red. They always do. They know how to do great sex. Yeah. No, they know how to animate it.

They know how to do the great sex. I don't think they know how to do the great sex. It's a bunch of nerds on how they think sex works. When are you going to start gaming on Twitch? I'm not. Come on, man. I'm done. You got your first fucking PUBG dub with me. Yeah, that was good times. Yeah, that was really good. His first PUBG dub was with me.

I remember that you were laying in a corner. He's like, I have no idea what's going on right now. I'm going to just shoot this corner. And we won. You're like, is that good? He was the dude with the belts of ammo and saving private Ryan sitting in the hall. I forgot about that. Holy shit. Was it? Yeah. Yeah. I actually miss those PUBG days. Dude, you need PUBG. PUBG was wild. Like pre, pre, pre 1.0 when it was still in the beta.

I've never played PUBG. You're not missing out on much. I've seen a lot of the videos and stuff like that. I understand PUBG. I've just never played it. I bought a couple guns just from that game. I thought it was cool.

My Mini-14. I mean, the Mini-14 was such a good gun in that game. That was. And it's such a terrible gun in real life. Oh, yeah. I hate that gun. In that game, it made you just think. You get a Mini-14 with a suppressor and a 3X scope, you kill everyone. Everyone. Everyone. What was the Gurkha or whatever the fuck? I know Gurkha's a knife, but...

It was the the bullpup a K that was like God mode at the end because oh The OTS 14 grows alright tism mode you can only get that from a box right only a drop yeah tism It's a real thing ride in continue. Yep, so the OTS 14 grows as a bullpup a K configuration Weapon system, it's actually real real guy you have one I have a parts kit for one that somebody did after

Aftermarket so we are building one as soon as I get my hands on the rest of the kit no shit I got like the carry handle bullpup yeah, yeah, all that stuff. I've got that no She just need the rest of the parts, but it's 9 by 39. I believe originally, but you can also do like different shows. Yeah, yeah

Is that what the VSS is? Yeah. So, like, you know how 5.56 is necked up to 30 cal to be 300 blackout? They did the same thing with 7.62. They necked it up to 9 mil. That's what they're doing with a lot of rounds now. I was looking at that SIG. What's the new SIG LMG? Spear. The Spear is a 3.38, not Lapua, but a normal mag. And it's a neck down 3.38 Lapua. Like, it's...

It's weird. I don't know if it's neck down. I don't remember, but it's because three, three, eight Norma, I think is just a little shorter than Lapua Magnum. I could be wrong on that. I haven't really looked into it. Was it Magnum? It's at Norma. Norma. That's it. Three 38 Norma. Matt, when do you get one?

I actually got a text today that we're probably getting one in January. God damn, man. I was trying to do the same. Yeah, it's very similar. That is super similar. Yeah. That's a new belt. That's what the spear is? Yeah, the spear. No, not the spear. Oh, I thought you said the spear. What's the LMG? So it's the NGSW LMG. Yeah, that's it. The spear is chambered in some weird round, but it's not that. Is it the spear of the 8.6? No, the spear is 6.8.

That sounds right. 6.8, 300, Lapua, Norma Mag. No, it's not 6.8 FPC. It's something weird. I've never heard of it. There's too many bullets now. Can we stop making new bullets, man? We're doing what Germany did in World War II. It's going to fuck us. Everybody is just acknowledging now that 6mm bullets are the goat for ballistic coefficient.

So we're just all moving to that. Unless you want it to be subsonic, then just make it fucking thick. Nice. Oh, yeah, because the 300 and... Well, 86 is now a good subsonic crown, right? Yes. However, it's not for BC. No, it's ballistic coefficient. Gotcha. Because it's just thick, boy.

But the thing is, it's so fucking heavy, it doesn't matter. Oh, and it's spinning very quickly at that twist rate. Yeah, the twist rate is insane. Dude, that twist. That's literally just there. It drills into things. So I actually, I called Kevin about it. We were at the house, like a lake house with my employees and shit like last year. Like basically every year we go to like- All rich? No, not at all. Every year is like kind of like a-

It's like a tradition. I take my employees to the, like a lake house for a week, whatever. But we, we were talking about the eight, six, like a year ago. And I fucking called Kevin. Cause we were just like trying to get, we were drunk as shit. And we were like, well, what the fuck is with this twist rate? And he told us like about some of the twist rates he was fucking around with.

And it blew my goddamn mind. Because you're talking about twist rates on a normal gun. Twist rate, for the uninitiated in the audience, is how many revolutions the bullet makes per the amount of inches down the barrel. So normally you're dealing with like one seven, one to eight, meaning one revolution per like seven or eight inches. He's talking about like one to two. One to three. Yeah.

Isn't it a 1-3? 1-4 is an 8-6. 1-4. I think it's 1-3. He was talking about playing around with 1-1. I'm like, fucking hell. It's a drill. It makes a complete revolution in one inch. One revolution in one inch. You're just making a drill. When you shoot it, you can hear it go zing. It's so aggressive. Please do all the sound effects for war movies. Zing! Zing! Zing!

Bang, bang, bang. Watch out, they're shooting close. Oh no, that one's spinning. That's probably one of three. Careful boys, they're using the hot twist ring. It actually picks up speed as it goes. It's like... Eli's just over here like, Kevin, can you please make a bullet that sounds like ooh-ooh? Oh my god, I want to look. That's a 1 in 69 spin rate. He's just like,

Just a slow one. 420 projectile. It's one to six, nine. But those rounds are fucking. I remember we were all sitting at lunch with Kevin and I was like, wait, hold on. That's the twist, right? When he was just saying it was like, bro, do you have like ballistics? Cause I want to see what that does when it enters the cavity. Yeah.

And holy shit. He does have ballistics. He showed up. You see the clear gel stuff? Yeah, it's like normal. It's like, and then his is like, like everything explodes. Cause he's thinking so outside of the box. Cause if I can like suck his dick here for a minute, that, that is super, that is incredible because basically you're trying to keep it the most energy possible while keeping it below a thousand feet per second to keep it subsonic. So you get quiet.

So instead of linear speed, he's going for rotational energy. So you're using more powder. You're giving the bullet more ass behind it.

But you're not increasing the linear velocity, meaning you're never breaking the sound barrier. And as like a physics nerd, it's like, that is so dope. Does that slow it down in the barrel as it has to spin more? Does that make it to where more powder burns behind it as it's more time in the barrel? Yes, which would mean if you weren't upping the powder charge, that would make the round slower. But because you can up the powder charge and not keep it and not break the sound barrier. How does that...

What? Because that's why they run subsonics. But he also killed a water buffalo of 400 yards. Think about when you're spinning a top. I'm spinning the top. Okay. Okay. You have rotational energy. Even though linearly speaking, you're not really moving anywhere. If you smack onto it, it'll dabble a little bit, but it'll right itself because you still have rotational energy. You're not worried about that breaking the sound barrier. You're worried about breaking the sound barrier in a linear capacity. Okay.

So you're keeping more energy in the projectile. I was prepared for this test today. I'll give you the notes. I'll give you my notes. I need the spark notes. Dradle, dradle, dradle. No. We're not Jewish, Eli. But it spins quickly. You're never getting Kanye on this podcast. But if you did, we would lose our spot. I won't be here. Maddie's off that podcast. I won't be on that episode.

It's ridiculous what that man does like you really hate off drippler. What's your thoughts about? Who made that up?

- I heard the Yadoff thing before, but that was, yeah. - That was so good. - Barker's okay with Yadoff Drippler, right? - Matt, you're here right now. Can we do Yadoff Drippler? - So, Kamalisha's not okay, but... - You just got put back on the table. We don't bring off Yadoff Drippler, right? - Yadoff Drippler flossing, for sure.

Have you not seen that picture? No. There's a picture. Oh, just wait. This cracked me up the first time. Is this a shirt? I will say that I did not predict the neo-Nazi Kanye storyline. That was on your bingo card? That was not on my 2022 bingo card. Yeah, that was. This is the guy that George Bush hated black people.

And then two decades later. And Taylor Swift. I'm going to let you finish. That was still wild. That escalated so quickly. Oh, I've seen this. I've seen something like that. Oh, my God. That actually fits pretty good. What is that? Where are we? Where did you have comedy calls? How did we get here? So how is this where we're at in...

I will say it is hilarious that he's like, you know, there's a certain group of people that control the media and the banks and whatnot. And everybody's like, how absurd? Well, let's respond by canceling him from the banks. Oh, yeah. He's straight. Really? Yeah, that actually happened. How'd they do that? The banks shut down his accounts and shit. How?

Well, you see, Matt, I don't want to get my bank accounts closed down, so I'm not going to answer you. It's a weird coincidence. White people, am I right? We can say that, right?

Yeah, probably. Okay. I give you permission. My attorney is advised I stop talking. I'll let you borrow my card. Your phone goes off. You're like, brain shut the fuck up right now. It's like, are you on unsub again? Stop. Every time say no. This is going to be an issue with my congressional run. Oh yeah. And then can we discuss that? Because I didn't even realize that whole thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, like this is still a joke. I'm running for public office too. Are you really? What are you running for? Sheriff.

I thought I could be a sheriff someday in like 10 years. I think it'd be cool. That would be dope. How cool would it be? You could go higher. No, I don't want to hire. I just want you if you too, because I get to carry a 1911 or something. So he'll country sheriff normally. It's like, what? You're just like, well, you can make up your own fucking titles. Just have a badge walking around town. You're like, yes, I am the Supreme Lord commander of the demolition.

Supreme Lord Commander. I will have the last watch. Sorry, what are you running for? We've made some jokes that have gotten less funny as it's gotten more serious. I'm so excited. It's going to be good.

- Until it's not. - Texas Congressman right now. - Oh my gosh, when? - What? - Yeah, no one. - This has been an ongoing thing for like a month and a half behind the scenes. - I will fully support and endorse you on my channel. This is gonna work. - Oh God. - This is happening. - This is the only political episode we're gonna do. - If we can get you to Texas Congressman. - What's funny is, I'll actually, I'll talk to you about this off air, but it's become less of a joke as things have moved along. - It is, it is. - Yes! - How much, yeah, we can just say less of a joke. - It's less of a joke. I'm honestly not sure yet.

But we'll see. It's going in a good direction slash brand is going to get canceled direction really quickly. Yeah. One of the two. It will kill the golden goose probably. Like I will. Google will not like me. No, it'll hate you. This will be crazy. I can't wait. This changes everything.

Yeah, mostly my financial standing. I'll be the first person to go into Congress and lose money. Yeah, for sure. It's going to be hard to make money. I'm going to picture in like fast forward three years, it's Mad Max. We're looking around. It's like, what happened? It's like, well, Brandon got fucking elected. And here we are. We thought it was funny at the time. Yeah.

Seemed like a funny joke. Are you going to wear a suit with a little pin in your gun meme reviews? I want to take the Yellowstone approach of just like, no, I fucking hate all you guys. I'm just going to stay in Texas. Dude, you should be governor. I would not want to be governor. Our governor's a stand-up guy. Yes, he's good. But you could be governor. You didn't get that at all, did you? Oh, I get it now. That's messed up. Can you put up a photo of our governor? That's messed up.

This is why running for office is going to be very difficult. Very, very difficult. Oh, man. But it is. What's crazy is they're paying for these views. They're paying for this advertisement versus you guys are friends with all the people. It would kind of be too easy. You know, my campaign slogan would be let's go, Brandon. It's so easy. Like, what the fuck?

Think about how easy this is. When are the next elections? 2024. Oh my gosh, it's too perfect. Too perfect. We can get this. I don't know. What does the unsub audience think? Will you guys all take the oath to not ruin my fucking political career with all the shit you've watched me say over the last year and a half? That's the red button. That's the red button in the...

They're like, get Brandon elected for the memes, make memes that make him unelected. - Two hands at the same time. - Dude, this could work. - Especially if you guys, I'm just saying, like. - What if everybody votes, writes you in?

You don't have to run. But what if you don't run? Is what I mean. You're like, nah, that's a bad idea. Oh, that would be hell. Yeah, if I decide like, oh, you know what? I've looked at all of the options and I think this is a really bad idea and I still went on right. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Fuck! People are like, what if we still vote for Brandon? Brandon Herrera wins by landslide. He's waking up, turning on the news. He's like...

You're stabbing people

I think we just assured no matter what you're getting written in. Yeah, for sure. I don't care what you're doing. I'm just running on your platform, and I'm just going to be talking about let's go Brandon. You're running on my platform. I'm making everyone go vote for you. That's what I'm doing. I'm dedicating my entire channel to this now. That's the whole thing. Let's go Brandon. Plug, insert, vote for Brandon. Right now.

Brandon, what's your wedding? Now I feel obligated to say the most fucked up shit that comes to my mind, so I'm completely politically toxic. Here it comes. This is what we're waiting for. All righty. No. So that Dutch tradition, black people. Oh, boy. Yeah, so Eli did actually bring this up at lunch. What is that? He's just like, I'm not here right now.

It's an actual Dutch tradition. I was unaware of this. So what is the origin of that? Dutch. You didn't learn anything about this, did you? No, I did research in the past. So, okay. Without looking at my phone. Let's explain what it is first. What are you talking about right now? So there is a big festival every year in... Dutchland? Dutchland? Dutchland?

I'm sorry about my friends. You're just like, I'm here and I'm not. I'm guilty by association. I'm not helping y'all with any of this. Oh man, this is...

I love that he said "I swear if you say Dutch, you go Dutchland." When you talk about the ugly American, I think this is what... Dutchland? Dutch town? Dutchville. Dutch town, yeah. Old Dutch town. Seems like a good time to take a potty break. I'll be back. Dutchland. I think you're thinking of Doichland, and that's a different country. Doichland. We'll wait for him to come back to make it more ug--

For everyone that couldn't hear that, Matt just screamed, don't wait, from the bathroom. So about this holiday. This holiday. In this unnamed country we don't know of. I know. I really don't know, do you? I don't know why I can't now remember this.

Netherlands, that's it. Thank you for whispering Dutch. Belgium too. The Dutch people though. Cut it out so it looks like I know this without him joking. Punch in when Brandon says that. Put a country in. Then just erase Netherlands and put Dutchland over it. That sounds like a fucked up Disney ring. That's the forbidden Epcot. What?

How long has it been going on, actually? You know what's still funny to me is that Epcot was like Epcot, the place in Disney World, like one of the four parks where you've got that world showcase. You've got like France, Mexico, Canada. Morocco. It was built during the Cold War and they don't have Russia. Oh, yeah. They have Morocco and they don't have Russia in the world showcase. Oh.

Which is politically inopportune, I think, at the time to talk about Russia in any positive way. I'm glad we've circled back around to the Cold War Part II, though. Yes. Yeah. That's been really cool. Yeah. The Second Cold War has been great. I straight up bought a lot of captured Ukrainian shit recently. Like, captured Russian shit from Ukraine. I bought a helmet that is basically was bombed. It was like a Russian helmet that is completely, like, melted to shit and whatnot. Literally bought directly from Ukraine.

Can you just buy that stuff? I'm gonna start like getting helmets and beating them up and being like got this from Russia. It's literally shipping from like... I mean, I'll tell you it's shipping from Russia. On eBay? Oh, yeah. Don't fucking tell all my secrets. God damn. And the guy who's advertising it is using a Putin mask. It's fucking hilarious. Let me see if I can show you that. My God, this has been going on for a long time. You still looking at the racist stuff? Here we go.

Yes, he is, man. I am. I gotta go pee again. I have to poop now. Yeah, it is a 6B47 Ratnick helmet that is very clearly blown up. Yep. Someone died in that. Yep. So I own a lot of haunted shit now. You don't keep that in your house, do you? It hasn't gotten here yet. There's also this one. It's a plate carrier that's very visibly shot through. I've got like 18 of those. I'll sell them to you. Made of bird seed. Check it.

You made a bird seed? Is this the one? Yeah, that's got a bullet hole through it and then on the backside. Owie. Owie. How do you know those are real though? I can give you 19 of those. Matt, wouldn't you do all your shot Russian Federation? We still have it all. That's why I've been selling it on eBay. With the Russian boot and that. Ships from Bernie Tech. What the fuck, man? Yeah, it's crazy. I can sell those things for thousands of dollars.

Wait, Black Pete has been around. What? Are you still on the... Yeah. He had moved on from racism so long ago. We could not be racist for like... I'm not racist. I'm talking about tradition. Weird. That's what my cousin from Alabama keeps saying.

Holy shit. No, but you would not get... I believe his name is. When this would start. So the books, the first books start in 1850s. Guess when the actual... That is not that long ago. Guess when the actual... The origins date back to 1100 BC.

What the fuck? That is a long time ago. Yeah, the traditions and the origins come from the black skin on this Sanctuary class. It goes back to 1100 BC for Black Pete. His name is... Well, whatever this racist tradition is, I feel like we can't stop it. Like, it's been going on for a while. Dude, that is... Hold on. So here's my thing. It's like, is this actually racist? Because I'm like, excuse me if I'm fucking like just...

Historically, I'd hate to be this Wikipedia guy. 1100 B.C. Did anyone in the Netherlands have they ever even seen a black person ever? Now, guess when it actually became offensive. What year it became offensive? Three years ago.

2010 is when it actually became offensive. So from fucking 1100 BC until then, nothing. These got- Had a good run. Had a good run. I did not know it went that far back. It was like 1850s and then publication was 1850s. And then until 2010 was when mainstream media was like- So what is it? Yo, it's- The festival? Yeah. It's a yearly festival with one of the characters- And everyone just paints blackface?

So they say what year did Tropic Thunder come out? That's fine RDJ you're safe. He's just a good I can't believe he's still not have you seen his his interview on Joe Rogan where he talks about that? No, it's great. He's like

He's like, God, he's like, even when that came out, he's like, all my black friends thought it was fucking hilarious. He's like, I ran this by a bunch of people and I thought it was funny. Everybody involved thought it was funny. And but I was still nervous because you're doing fucking blackface in Hollywood. He's like, I don't know. And luckily, thank God, everybody attacked Ben Stiller for being.

And it was literally the joke. He's like, oh, thank fuck. Ben Stiller took all the heat. And what's better is they quoted it in the movie. You never go full retouch. You never go full retouch. And that was what got Ben canceled and not RDJ. Because Ben Stiller's career hurt so much after that. Oh, yeah, so much. He was struggle bussing. Which is crazy. Which one said never go full retouch? RDJ. I've heard it.

Yeah, oh my god. I forgot. He's the one that said the line in the movie in black Chairs is broken and it's gonna end up being the death of going down

I forgot all about that. I remember watching that movie in theaters. I think Kevin fucked it up. I think there's an unsubscribed historian who can probably correct us on this, the exact moment.

Yeah, Kevin definitely broke that, and then he tried to fight us multiple times. He did fight all of us, if you recall. As soon as that episode—so this is actually—the unsubscribe audience doesn't know this, but after that episode ended, Kevin was still fucked up. Oh, he didn't magically get sober? We all fought, literally all of us. Me, Eli, Cody, we all rolled with Kevin, whether we wanted to or not.

Kevin I was like Kevin you owner would do this you do not want to do this with I'm warned Kevin multiple times of the Kevin This is not gonna go how you think Do we have to buy mats for the studio because I have a photo of you and angry cops rolling like two Drunk and I'm just sitting there a sober like

I got him over my shoulder, like twisted around each other. Anger cops is like, you're staying this bad. I was like,

Oh, don't. Don't even. The first time I've ever heard my stand-up is bad. Don't you even start this again. It's fine. Wait, do you all have boxing gloves? No. How do you know your stand-up is bad? Because how I was staying, I don't know. I don't remember. That was like 1 or 2 a.m. It was. Oh. Yeah. And then I had to explain it. Sav didn't say anything. Got home. Slept. Next day didn't say anything. And the day after, she was like.

Babe, why do you have bruises all over your body? I was like, oh. Me and Anchor Cops were, we were wrassling. Wrassling. We were just wrassling. We were like a bunch of drunk boys wrassling. Well, no pants wrassling, you know? Doesn't matter how old you are, 36, 37? Fuck it, we're still wrassling. Nothing wrong with that. And then I hurt him. Purely platonically. Well, yeah, obviously. God, that was. JK, unless.

Okay, so, okay, we can wait we gotta finish the cyberpunk. Oh my are we coming back around to that? Yeah, I Thought I was already over and go you were getting to forget about it. I'm fine with this. Let's go talk about it I Matt doesn't like cyberpunk. It's mad. Okay in the issue. No, no, wait, hold on. I do unless we'll let Brandon finish And then you can talk about your favorite thing of all time. So I don't know. Okay, I think about our

Brandon, don't ruin this segment. I will fucking... Thank you for watching our subscribe podcast. We have Eli DoubleFab, Matt Carriker from The Demolition, myself, and FattyStreams. Santa. Santa. Mr. Chris King... Kingles. Chris Kingles. Chris Kingles. Chris Kingles is my favorite.

What are you doing? What are you doing in that chair? What are you doing? Kegels.

And now we're going to just roll immediately into the Christmas episode, if you guys are cool with that. No, it's the after show. No, Christmas. We'll just fucking put it up for Christmas. Fuck the after show. Fuck you on Patreon. I'll see you in a week, bitches. Yeah. Then you can take it while you can keep it on. This is just for Christmas. Hold on. I just want to say, we're still on the first video right now. I just want to say, I personally guarantee this chair will break on the Christmas episode. I'm scared. So come on back here.

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