81 - Lock and Load ft. Nikko Ortiz, The Fat Electrician & Brandon Herrera
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Can you hand me a wine? I would love to. A mango, a mango, what is that? A pineapple. I'll take whatever. Dude, my cum will smell good. Ladies love the pineapple. It tastes good. Well, they love it when you have it. It's her. Dude, I started saying rock and load. Why the fuck do you think I know what my cum tastes like when I drink pineapple? Why do you?

I didn't say I didn't, I'm asking why you think I know. You look like a guy. Did we already start? Brandon definitely looks like a guy that's tasted his cum. We have to clap. One, two, three.

Damn, okay. Hey, that was like, oof. So, Lock and Load, what's that? I started taking it a couple days ago. Tell me more. All right. I need to get some of that stuff. You do. You do. You can get it on. We're just freely pushing PKA's shit now. Well, it's GorillaMine.com and use the code Brandon.

If you want to shoot ropes like Brandon Herrera, where'd that name come from? Lock and load was the, it's like a supplement. You take a bunch of shit. It's like selenium and a bunch of other shit, but basically it's nine pills a day and go for it. Rocket nine pills a day.

Yeah, but basically the whole point is to come like a fucking champion and like it literally just like it's it's a it's a volume enhancer gives you a Peter just 10 volume and you come a lot more I feel like this would you like an eight or ten Rupert? Yeah, it's like it's it should makes it make you come more. It's the whole fucking point of the Supplement it really works - you have to take it for a while My favorite part is just bewildering random women. Yeah, I

Yeah. It's amazing. I started taking it a couple days ago and didn't tell. How's that been? I didn't tell a certain person, so we'll see how that goes. Oh, so she hasn't noticed yet. Oh, wait for a while. Oh, no, no. We got back. So we went to Vegas for Halloween. Right. And she got like the shot show bug in Vegas. And so she's been down and out for the past three days since I've been taking Lucky Loves.

Oh. When you come back in the game. When we ease back into the game. It's stored in the balls right now. Dude, those balls are bursting. He's like supercharging the weapon. He's building a spirit bomb. I'm thinking of like the plasma pistol from Halo. Just...

Yesterday it's like it just cuts to the frame on the wall. It's like a clean wall It's a splat of a wall, but Heather's outline

It's just a clean cut. Use the code Brandon. Say what? That's a great ad. Say hi to Eli. Say hi to Eli. It's racially ambiguous, daddy. That guy's fucking ridiculous, don't I?

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. Come on.

And that's where the, you come, that is, come subscribe. Cody Stark, this bitch. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Eli DoubleFap, Nico Ortiz, Nick, the Fat Electrician, and Brandon Berber.

Bird you burn. Do we're back to five where the audio is either going to be a terrible or be terrible. It's looking good right now. Five, four mics. This is going to be good. Nick's audio is going to be like. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. We're so sorry.

Literally just gonna crop me out. Oh, it's my audio crop me out to There's also gonna be parts where like you're gesturing over and there's just like a black sensor bar goes around me or some shit Okay back to the come though back to sound alright, so what's the percentage you save?

You save? Save? You use code Brandon. Oh, fuck that. I'm like, don't point, you're coming more. My brother in Christ. No, I mean, I think it's like 10%, something like that. What is the increase in semen volume percentage-wise if you had to estimate? Ooh, that's what I thought you were saying. After about like, after like two weeks, three weeks being on, it's like at least 50%.

A double cum? It makes you cum longer too. And harder. Oh yeah. It's the pleasure thing though. Nice sir. Do you get that pre-cum too? Yep. Lots of pre-cum. You can stick your finger all day long.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about with sticky finger, but I'm a bitch. Come to his library. Get out the way. I guess I just don't really know why would you want to sticky finger off the wall? Can you do your 15 second ad spot for just like a table and then you just like try to spell your name with your juice? It's just like cum hits the table. It's like

Brandt do you just use your own subcode or what? Throw your penis in the snow? Yeah it's like that! My favorite part is it's just the female enjoyment go from oh this is amazing to oh this is going on for a while to what the fuck is physiologically wrong with you? Scooping it out. Scooping it out. Why is it? You gotta warn me. It's still going.

So much cum. You know, occasionally my parents watch this. Well, thankfully, it's right at the beginning of the episode. Oh, I know. It's fucking great. Babies all have grandkids. You're making a bunch of more cum. Yeah, dude. They probably already have some. It's possible. I don't know. Dad's going to be like, Brandon, fucking good work on the fucking cum stuff. I'm going to be visiting them in a few days. I will absolutely be taking that the entire time. I got to keep up my cum gains.

Yeah, like if you don't go away you got it you got to keep it up do come gaze or fucking the thing Are you on that lock and load grind? I used to do I used to actually build my own little supplement thing with it Which was better or worse it was just using random vitamin zinc. It's all those. Yeah, zinc is a big one, too Yeah, it's all the things there's like some seed extract or something. Um, is it corn syrup? It's not corn syrup

I'm getting fat. I'm not shooting more car Dr. Pepper all day long and shooting like 20 foot ropes I Just like that

That's the dry balls. Hey, so given recent events, does this mean that we need to revisit Brandon the Superpower? Oh, dear God. Which one was Brandon's? What recent event? Brandon's is the one we can't talk about. Now that I know that you take this supplement, I want like Spider-Man jizz out of your dick. You swinging around. What's the name? What's the name side? That sounds great.

I don't think he would like he has he comes So well if okay, that's actually a pretty good question if you guys could change your your your superpower What Cody can would you and change it? Yeah, I love my superpower. I agree. I do it every day anyways, and I don't fly dream you're really putting on like Kevin Smith vibes right now. What would be okay? You guys create a superpower for me. I

Or a better offset. I like speed. Speed's a pretty gangster one. I think there's better powers, but... Fucking running quick. You get to pick the power. We get to pick the downside. Fuck yeah. Are we changing superpowers now? No, I don't mind. You can change my offset. I like shit everywhere, which is cool. But I think there's better offsets for super speed.

Yeah. So for everyone that doesn't know Eli's superpower was he's the brown streak. He can run at incredible speeds. He's the flash basically, but he can't control his bowels when he runs and he just shits everywhere. I've got a pretty good idea. You can't slow down super fast. Yeah, I like that. So he's just running to schools and slaughtering children. He's like, I'm going to save the kids in Uvalde and then he can't slow down. It would still be better than the Uvalde PD. Yeah, it would be. Yeah.

- Wham! - Just runs through four more classrooms. Less children would have died. - You're also, you also have the same ability as like the girl from X-Men that can just walk through walls and walk through anything. You have that for five minutes after you use your super speed.

I can walk through walls? You have- no you have to, you can't not. You can get there super quick, but then you literally can't touch anything. They can't do anything? You're just getting together and watch. He turns into a ghost! Transluso? So you know my power? I need to know ahead of time, man. Yeah, your body's catching up, bro. Oh my god, you would be just as useful as the Uvalde PD.

Already showed up a mic. I you got five minutes of getting that shit on under wraps cuz I hate you shit right now you missed one Show up and watch for five minutes. I love just having a watch

Anything like my buddies getting their ass beat I show up to save the day still a five-minute window Nothing's happening Cody's yelling racial slurs Brandon is offing himself over and over and trying to reset the day It's been fucking ten minutes and I can already tell this is gonna be the worst episode of unsubscribe I've ever been on not worse. Oh, but the hardest I mean we started with I

Come. Come. That checks out. Pineapple. They were good. We're redoing these. We went to Uvalde right off the bat. We're doing really good. We're doing great. This is what the people came for. Just full swing. I know why we do this, but why do you fucking watch? That's worse. Guys, we've been drinking for like seven hours now.

I'm forgetting about the days. Yeah, you're forgetting about the previous days. Dude. Like, mine has to stop. Even just today, it's been longer than seven hours. Yeah, it's been a lot of hours. At least ten. Responsibly, though. Respectfully. That's all I do. Respectfully. Mika, what was your superpower? Oh, yeah. Did we give you one? No, I never got a superpower. How? You've been on how many episodes so far? One. One? This is...

Do you know all of ours? Well yesterday, the one yesterday? Well yesterday's was two. Yeah. But we didn't do Superpower because I didn't even realize. I was like, wait, did we do his? Because like, okay, Cody can fly. He has to yell racial slurs to fly. Okay. Now I can run fucking awesomely fast, but I just, I love the, what is it? What's my name? Crimecock. Crimecock is the best name ever. The Bradstreet versus Crimecock where I'm like, yeah.

Please don't leave

- God damn it. - Well, what's yours? - So I think it's, I think I can't die, but I'm constantly offing myself. Like I, it's like a Deadpool thing. Like I can't actually die. - But I think what we can only wish. - No, no, no, but. - Yeah, exactly. - Look, your downside was. - His body. - He wakes, his body stays there. He wakes up the next morning. - Oh, he's in the bed. - And he doesn't remember how he died.

So Brandon's is always a body is left somewhere. So even if it's in his house, he'll wake up in his bedroom. He's like, oh, what happened? Why am I hanging from the ceiling? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like you're trying to dispose of it. Like that's what I like most is you having to get rid of your own. What is your name? Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I, we, I don't know if we ever gave ourselves names. The incredible respawn. What is it? Uh,

I'm the flying... That's it, you just stop. It's the flying... The cosmic cancellation. Yeah, the cosmic cancellation. Just... Just landing on Earth like that. Captain cancellation. Jesus Christ. What was yours? Yes.

Oh yeah, I forgot that. Yeah, well. And she can always, no, it was that, she can always read your mind. No, that was Leon Lush. That was Leon Lush. He can read minds, but his wife can read his mind. Yes. God, I forgot about that. Oh, that's a really good answer. Yeah. Thank you. He's like, mind reading. I was like, duh, that's fucking awesome. Your wife can always read your mind. She's the only one. He was like. Well, that's actually perfect because he could just divorce her. No, it's any future spouse. So anytime you get into a long-term relationship. What if he's single?

Then that's it. Unless he's banging. Yeah.

If he's catching feelings, they just read his mind then. Or it goes to your parents or something. He knows immediately the day when that happens. Jesus Christ. That's a little Oedipal, but all right. The girl's just like, God, I love him. Man, this bitch sucks. What'd you say? You just said this. Bored as fuck. If they knew about the superpower offset, they might be really kind of, they might be flattered.

They're like, oh wow, I'm getting close to him because I'm starting to read his thoughts. Like it might actually be really fucked up. For a second. It's not going to last. Any dudes in your head or girl, anyone in your head period. What? Wait. You lost me on 80 dudes in your head. You and words today. Exposed. It's not my strong suit. Hard swipe. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

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I like me canyons. That was the funniest shit I've ever heard. He was so fast at bringing. We didn't give him a negative. No, he goes, we're like, what's your power? I want a super stretch. We're like, okay, what's we got to figure out an off thing to that. He's like, punch my wife. I beat the shit out of her. At least two black guys in a broken nose. So what's the offset? Where's the downside? I don't see it.

This episode is going hard. We were just like...

Meat, you doing okay? Okay. Is everything good? Is everything good, Mr. Meat? That's how I activate my powers. Not like when you hit her. Does it activate enough? Come here! You get more angry. He's like dragging her around. The scratch is directly related to how hard they hit. Yeah. It's just like the flash where all the problems are solved by like, oh, I just got to run faster. He's like, I'm sorry, honey. I need to stretch farther. He's like,

He's like right there and he just looks back, looks at the white- It's just- It's like Iron Man and the Hulk. Jordan from Space Jam? Yeah, Space Jam. Space Jam. He's clawing the fucking beatings. He's like, wow, that's really far. That's really far. That is fucking 15 minute beatings, bitch. You better get ready, bro.

- Nico, what is your superpower? - I don't know, y'all give me one, dude. - No, you pick the superpower. - I have to pick my own one? - We picked the bad side effect. - You just gotta pick the good one. - What superpower would you want? - Well, okay, okay. To be fair, if I could pick any superpower that I've always wanted, it would be to teleport.

we already have that demolition ranch has that one well he has to kill a kitten every time but he does that anyway yeah but we want to know that part where we were talking about it's like where it's just an annoyance because when you kill enough kittens you get very desensitized oh it's with dan we were talking about that after like a thousand kittens we were saying it's like you have two lazy boys like one that's laying down one's sitting up so you're like down

Why does he run an animal shelter come to my no-kill shelter What's the superpower Niko yeah, I don't know I've not been taken then at this point though literally we just covered all of them I

So then how the fuck am I supposed to pick shit if they're all taken? They're not all taken. You just said they're all taken. No, we covered all the ones that have them. All the X-Men. Well, you said one that I want. Maybe you could get like fucking spiky hands or... That shit. That's lame-o-way-mo, dude. Did you just call Wolverine lame-o-way-mo? Bro, he's just a big fucking cat, bro. My brother in Christ, you better step away from the... Has anyone done like time dilation shit? Oh, it's not.

Oh, so you like gravity or anything like that? Gravity or time? Yeah, gravity, time. No one said gravity or time. Okay, pause time then. You travel through time, but you have to adopt the mindset of the era that you're in. So if you're in the 1860s, you get super racist. Oh, I love this.

And if you're in like 2047, you get ultra woke. - And not just time, geographic location. - Ooh, okay. - And when you go to a new time frame, it's still a solid five days of it's still there. - You get a time travel hangover. - Yeah, you get a time travel hangover.

You go from like 1700s America to like 2020. I would become like a different person then. I would have to stop traveling through time and be like, fuck, I'm probably going to become a racist again. Again? Yeah.

I'm like, I know the game, I can't. It's too fucking tragic, bro. It's a risk. It's like Quantum Leap. Back to racism. Back to racism. Back to racism.

- He has the watch on his hand. The whatever vehicle he's going in. Oh, that's a good poster. That's a really good poster. - It's a Cadillac. - It's a Cadillac. - Yeah, it's a Cadillac. - Roots. - Where we're going, we don't need roots. - Eli pulls up, "Niko, get in the Pontiac. We've gotta go back to the future." - How would I feel about myself then? If I look at my ID one day and I'm just like, "Ortiz?"

Some white supremacist Why do you keep white supremacist to jump into Stop just going into those bodies Quantum leap I'm retarded

No, it was it was I'm able to like travel through to or like pause. Okay. Okay. So that would be really dope, like quantum leap superpower. But the offset is you're just going to like just the worst people. It could even be like it could even not be that pronounced. You're like, oh, let's just go back to like 2008. And then for like a week, you're obsessed with Taylor Swift for no fucking reason.

Okay, I'll take I'll take this power. Okay, if he's body swapping I was thinking of uncle ruckus like Like he's in the Greenville slave auctions and then he fast forwards. He's uncle ruckus

Imagine if you get Superman's power, like all of Superman's power. Like you wake up and that is you're like, and the offset is you look identical to Adolf Hitler no matter what. Boom! And then your mustache, you're like, no, no, no, no, no. You just go to any time before 1939. As a designated historian, I'm required to point out that Adolf Hitler definitely was not allergic to crystals.

- He smoked them a lot.

Get a lot of math. Talking about that. Oh, I was like, what the fuck? Superman kryptonite. Oh, okay. He was doing an exact opposite. No, he was injecting a lot of methamphetamine. And liquid cocaine. Yeah, you can see him. No, he was just injecting it. No, he had a private doctor who was injecting it, which also, as it turns out, this is great for the podcast, the injection of methamphetamine intravenously apparently is such a euphoric effect in the initial injection that it can lead to spontaneous ejaculation. You just come.

Brandon, what's your discount code? Brandon at GorillaMine.com. Lock and load. And also just buy from anybody. It's really not hard. And come. You can buy all that shit on fucking Amazon. You get that shit for free in San Francisco and everywhere else in California. That's true. You guys are very progressive. For fucking free. You just stand on a corner long enough. People are like, hey, do you need clean needles?

I remember seeing this the first time and I was like, "What the fuck are they- we're trying to like stop- no, you're- you're giving people free needles to do drugs. This is bad. They're just gonna reuse the free needles. You're not gonna stop any disease. It's true. Stop that, give free drugs. Whatever happens to recycling?

I will say though. They're just dipping. It's like a box of chloroproxide. One and go. Two and go. This is not sanitary. The earth is healing. It's like that condom factory you did where they were using re-cum. Oh yeah. Cum-cum. What was it? Cum-cum. Cum-cum factory. Use condom emporium. I love... Cody called me. He was like, hey Eli...

uh you're asian can you do an accent for me real quick for this bit literally how that call went i was like yeah what is it and he's like i'm gonna just send you what you need to say it's like come to come come pop for him uh we sell best used rub condoms you ever need okay here you go number one number two best in china okay you have good time ding goes like that's good enough and then he used to i was like

And it's like my Asian friend glaring on the bottom of the text. Yeah, just so we're clear. It's fine if he does the sex. Dude, I don't remember what Asian country it was, but they made a monopoly of taking used condoms and recycling them and selling them back to people, and they got busted. And I'm not going to make an Asian voice on YouTube and get busted. So I was like, be like, help me out here.

I'm almost 100% sure I've done a racist Asian voice on YouTube before.

Yeah, I'm 100% sure you've done that too. I know I could almost I oh no I know exactly what I did that. Let's hear about the Siggers. Oh yes. You know who I fucking hate? People who defend Sig Sauer also known as well, whatever you'd like to call them. Why are you floating? This isn't racial.

I like Nick just contemplating every time. He's like, every time. Last night. You're over there like, why can't we get Justin Roiland on the podcast? Well, we could before the Siggers remark. Is this true? Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa. Today. Okay, wait. I'm looking up the exact ad. What?

Why am I so bad at this? This is like the hardest thing. I can have the phone in front of me. I'm like, oh, it's like one sentence. This is super easy. I just have to remember. Kamikoto is now running a Black Friday sale, their biggest sale of the year. Go to kamikoto.com slash unsub to get an additional $50 off of any purchase with code unsub. Thanks to Kamikoto for sponsoring today's video. Kamikoto, why do I say it in

Asian boys automatically. I watch way too much Japanese anime. That is what, that is what we have to get through that. I watch a lot of anime, anime, anime. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is now running their biggest Black Friday sale ever.

of the year this is the biggest wait konnichiwa kamikoto is running their biggest sale of the year right now why because it's black friday i might have to actually get this proper let's try it one more time konnichiwa kamikoto is now running their biggest konnichiwa kamikoto is running their biggest damn it flock put this in we'll sell it make it funny

Konnichiwa, Eli-san. Kamikoto is running their black fri- God. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their biggest fucking Black Friday sale. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their Black Friday sale. The biggest sale of the year. Hey, I know that. Go to kamikoto.com slash unsub to save $50 on any order. Use code unsub.

To get that thing to make that use code unsub to make to get $50 off. Look, I need some Japanese flute music samurai style. Go. These are handcrafted Jap. God, these are actually really nice. If you haven't seen the wooden box, they come in. Look at this. Oh, look at those blades. Look at those blades and this nice little box. Now.

We cut something. Okay, these are this was left at the unsub house Testing the blade on food. I found at unsubscribe. We have a Pita oh, it's a brick. This actually looks really good. Oh, that smells really good, too Okay, let's see how strong first the first thing you always cut with the knife paper ready?

Oh, Jesus. Okay, that's really sharp. It's paper! The true test is can it cut through this peanut butter banana falafel? That is really sharp actually. I mean, and that's bread. Usually that's like soggy. A real test would be anime eyes go. These are actually handcrafted in Japan. They are super, super nice blades. Oh my God. What did I just open? This is from Batty! Batty left his

Can it cut through that mold? I mean, this is like a real... Okay. Oh, spores went in the air. That's grody. That is a sharp-ass blade. I ain't gonna lie. Kamikoto Blades is running their...

Black Friday sale. The biggest sale of the year. Go to kamikoto.com slash unsub and use code unsub to save $50 off of any order. God, look at that. That is nice Japanese steel, actually. Holy crap. Go check him out today. That means I'll take one, please. Anime boy. Last night, it was the first hour. He was just like...

- Okay, what happened last night? - Oh God, it was something. - Dude, you guys, we were like, "Oh, are they gonna go out with us? "Oh, I don't know, we'll see what happens." Fucking four or five hours go by, the bar is closing. I get a text from both of you at the same time like, "Yo dawg, what's the mood?" - At 2:00 a.m. I'm like, "Fuckin' go home!"

Dude, we were ready to fucking riot last night, dude. Three and a half hours? Yeah. Dude, that was a long- It was an hour and twenty minutes. We walk away, do stuff. Nick's drunk kicks in. He's like, Let's do it again! I did you fucking and you're gonna get me canceled. We gotta go again. And then he's just like, Okay, motherfuckers! He's carrying the microphone. Like, okay, what are you- Dude, like, we're trying to fuck this over and we're like, No, no, you fucked up the first time, guy. You're done.

So today we're gonna talk about the USS Indianapolis! Let me just read the Wikipedia page real quick and we'll be done! Exactly! It's 100% up. Tell us about 45 versus 9 though. Oh, 45 ACP? Yeah. Oh, the history of the 45. Anti-cow projectile. Anti-cow projectile? The only reason I know this story is your YouTube channel. Ah, fuck you. Nice fucking party felon there. You got white claw on my bush light, god damn it. Fuck you, fuck you.

Congratulations, I blessed you with gay. Now my bush light smells like mangoes. It's like the Vermin Supreme, like with the fucking glitter, like, you're gay now. Congratulations. The internet makes enough fun of me for drinking bush light, now it's bush light with white claw on it. Bush. Thanks, Beelize.

There's I cannot tell you the amount of people who meet me in person. They're like oh well I'm glad you like like killing white claws and never drink them, and I'm like oh yeah I hate them so much. Oh man wait wait 45 ACP. Yeah, so basically America was involved in military conflict I

98% sure was the Philippines they're going up these guerrilla warfare fighters that were known for Eating coca leaves and getting very high on stimulants before going into battle. There's fuck they would also They would also basically pre tourniquet their limbs so yeah, I was 19 18 1920s Yeah, yeah, the 20s. I remember that I actually remember this get him loose if you Okay, I thought you mean like

You're like, oh! They just don't work. They're just walking up with black arms and black legs like...

Because at the time the military was using what was he the 3030 carbine that they tried to go to for a minute So there's 30 carb carbine 32 super maybe 38 super stupid little carbine They tried to switch to right after World War two the parachuter was the m14

- It's the parachuter M14? - No, this M14 was the-- - You're talking about the 30 carbine. - Yes. So it didn't have enough ass to put these guys down. - What's that called? - I use it in Day of Defeat all the time. - It's literally called 30 carbine. - It's got an M though, it's got a military design. - M1 carbine. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, M1 carbine, there it is. - Anyways, this rifle didn't have enough ass to put these guys down efficiently.

So the U.S. government's like, well, we need a pistol. We want to find. Wait, this was after. No, this is pre. I misspoke. All right. This is like right after one. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I pre I politely pre actually before the comments. He doesn't have wiki in front of him Anyway, so the United States government wanted to do the study on what was gonna be the smallest pistol cartridge that could kill a cow with a single bullet Where were they shooting the cow?

In the head, I believe. They did all kinds of weird studies and this was like highly controversial. I refuse to believe that 30 carbine couldn't do that. If I shot a cow- we can go to the ranch right now, I'll shoot a cow in the head. 30 carbine. I have it in my fucking office. We'll do it. Brandon, why weren't you rolling? I was doing a test roll.

Filming next time. Anyway, these cows were they can't be worth more than like four grand a piece They wanted around that could drop a cow they decided they were gonna go to 45 ACP That's why I say it stands for anti cow projectile also anti plane projectile soon like pistol round was taken out of plane before that also happened So they decided they could kill cows. Yeah, they will go back to that. Okay, um, it happened it did happen so

It can kill a cow in one shot then the US government's like well, what's it gonna do to a person? So they took the bodies of people that donated their bodies to science I can shoot them with 45 ACP for science and it's like that's that's probably not what they donated it for but okay It is that grandma story it's like I donated rocket. Yeah Grandma's

Just a missile. Just boom. And they found out. Yeah. Yeah. No, they literally like strapped some fucking old lady who donated her body to science to a goddamn chair to a rocket and fucking buzz light year in her ass up in the fucking sky and exploded it. And the family found out about it later and were pissed. Old ass grandma. I just want to know that like. They're just getting like chicken fried pieces of granny land all over like fucking Albuquerque or wherever the fuck they were. You already know that was like this. It's like, hold on.

Getting the last bit of duck Being poorly paid Government contractors is to privates at that point into the afterlife Can you imagine how wild

Documented history would be if we could just go back in time and just give soldiers starting in like iPhones World War one just just camera phones high quality pictures. Oh, I feel like it'd be bad. I'll be idiots like 100% are you have you seen that picture of the dude in the Pacific a Marine in World War two and he's just wearing a palm leaf and

Put it on his waist and that's it and a bazooka. Yeah, you're gonna see all of those. War changes. The men that fight it never do. He's just gonna cigarette the bazooka. Fucking true.

Carlos Morc-- was it Morcoc? Hathcock. Hathcock. Carlos Hathcock, best sniper ever. Yeah, he's doing vlogs like low crawling in behind enemy lines. Just like, "Hey guys, it's Carlos, what's up?" "Yo guys, thanks for all the donations, you boys crawling through enemy territory." "Yo shit, we going live right now, okay, so the enemy's out right now, we got that general in my sights, whoop!" "Hit that fucking like button right now, we turn that camera, okay?" "100 subs, I'll hit him with a .50 cal." "You know his nickname?"

You know his nickname? White Feather. You know why? Because he had a big-ass white feather that he would put in his hat to go do counter-sniper operations because he wanted to give him a chance. Yeah. He is the best sniper of all time. And that's going to piss off the internet because they're going, boom, what about the white dust? He's great. I'm not bashing on him. He's way better than I'll ever be. He's fantastic. Carlos Hathcock's better.

That's like me the white they called me infantry soldier 118 Homeboy he's got who shits in port-a-potty He's got 94 confirmed kills in Vietnam in Vietnam Vietnam to get a confirmed kill at the point that he was in it had to be certified had to be seen by him his spotter and his commanding officer and

And he still got 94 confirmed kills. However, after about 40 confirmed kills, Hathcock comes to you and says, I got three confirmed kills on that mission. You just read it. It's going in a book. Yeah. But the other issue, though, of that happening is there's investigations during Vietnam that had to be backed as well, like how they are now today.

Which was a huge pain in the ass. So that was the beginning of paperwork. And then that became the, okay, yeah, it's true, just sign off on it. And then when, okay, no, so then when it started to have to get documented, people were like, no, it didn't happen then. No, it didn't happen. So then, like, this casualty poll of Vietnam, which should have been, like, X is, like, up here is, like, actually down here. Because that's if it's not truly documented. Because people don't want to do the fucking paperwork. Right, which is why, like, the further you go back in warfare, the more, like, the casualty count goes from, like,

We don't know in between like to the thousandth person, to the millionth person. We're like anywhere between like 38 and 56 million. We're like, are you sure? Russian deaths are like 12 to 15 mil.

So there's just 3 million people. You just don't fuck it up. It's not 12 to 13 million. It's 12 to like a million in front of you drops the rifle. You pick it up. To be honest, we didn't know they existed before the war. We're good now. My least favorite argument for World War Two, which

Which one? Well, Russians won. Yeah, everybody has their argument for why their country won. Obviously, the Allied side won, but everybody's got to be like, no, my country won more because XYZ, the Russian one, is like, we shed more blood. I was like, that's not a good stat to quote from. Look at Arcadia, it's fucking shit. Dude, you're in fucking Wood Elo right now just bragging about your KD. You are $30 million...

They were, oh my god, how many Germans were lost during World War II in the Russian front? On the Eastern front alone, dude, I don't know. It's four, two? I think the overall accepted stats, it's like 54 million total during World War II, right?

But a majority was rushed. So the KDs were very not looking good. It was like you're playing team deathmatch, right? Like, yeah, okay, our team won, but you're at the bottom of the scoreboard with the KD of like fucking .08. Like, oh, we won! I'm like, no, that's not how this works. They're the modern warfare lobby.

Just screaming that they won and yelling retro slurs like man. I don't know if you guys won They were in bronze I will I will give that word a fucking Germany all day long because they fucking they declared war on the world and it was close They did really they went in both. They're small You don't start with a thing up. No, I

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They become a lord or a lady Okay, I was gonna I just realized I defeated my own argument cuz I was gonna say like look at how fast they conquered all of France Oh Spread themselves if I could go back to any point in time and hear any conversation between any two people It would be when Japan or Germany. Oh by the way, we attacked America you fucking did what now? Yeah. Yeah, I

That was probably, I think everybody, it's like the beginning of, what is that, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Like, widely regarded as a bad move. Just across the board, you shouldn't have happened. The alternate history of if Japan never fucking did that, no matter what, like, Jesus, fuck. America, let it happen. I've heard that one. Germany lost $8 million.

Soviet Union lost 24 million. That's a shit KD. They were just throwing people at them. And that was two fronts on Germany, by the way. That's not real communism. 3-1K, they were at a 1-3 ratio of dying. Damn, son. Wait, what? Fucking Matthew. 1-3. Science. No, no, think about it, because Germany was split between two fronts. They were fighting on the western and eastern front.

That's true. Like 4 million, let's just say, like make it split 4 million versus what, 20? 26. 24 million. That's one to six, yeah. Yeah, that's a terrible game. It's incalculable. However, play that map on Call of Duty is cool. Dude, the chart looks crazy. Yeah, oh, when you see those charts on like just mass...

Exodus of life. You're like, oh man, war is crazy, man. Germany during World War II really just had a bunch of bad fucking tactical, like political decisions. Like, hey, let's piss off the US and Stalin. If they just never would have fucked with Stalin, fine. That's fucking wild. United States is like one of the lowest. Oh yeah, we did good. We did 280,000 or 400,000. 200,000.

280,000 probably 200 something thousand Union China be fair we got into that war late in Asia I hear that argument all the time and my response to that is America always shows up late, but every time America shows up it is yeah, that's Every fucking time we'd be fucking mom aka Great Britain

Looks at the kids your fucking dad's home you're in trouble now and then the war is over in well that works for World War one and two no World War two we showed up in what 41 G want a really really early 42 G what we crushed it. Yeah, well your Katie versus fucking Tuscan Raiders Against people who've never fucking heard of the internet like I

No, what is that? They're using night vision. What's that? We were talking about that yesterday. In Shala, we use the moon. Fucking Christ. What were you going to say? I don't remember. Kill me, please. Let me die. I used the Tusken Raiders guy.

Sounds like it will. I'm so mad at the news lately because all I've been getting on my news app is just articles insinuating that Russia wants to invade Alaska. What? It's the most absurd shit ever. I've never heard that. Newsweek did an article that was titled, roughly this is what it was titled, Chinese and Russian warships spotted 100 miles off the coast of Alaska.

Cool. Cool. You know what else is 55 miles off the coast of Alaska? Fucking Russia. They went 45 miles in the other fucking direction and you're trying to play it off like World War III. My brother in Christ, you understand where Kamchatka is. And then like you scroll to the very bottom of the article. Oh, we asked the Coast Guard and they said, quote,

They didn't violate any rules or norms. This is completely normal. They've been here the whole damn time. I don't know what you guys know about the Coast Guard. Their entire job is to pretty much follow Russian warships and say, we fucking or not. That's all they do. Not gonna fuck either. We just call it. Tell someone else. Tell the Army. Tell the Marine Corps. Yeah. Everybody sleeps on the Coast Guard. Bro, they banged on one fucking submarine, caught it on video, and now they're the shit. And everyone's like, oh, MSRT is the best, bro. We

Yeah, his hand was hurt. Just like your comparison though is like the whole thing's to pull up on Russia and say like follow them around like oh we fucking are not and their response is usually I'm tired. Yeah. Not today, please. Bro, my conscription's almost over. Please don't.

Those Russia would not do good in a war. Weird. It's like, it's almost like we have data about how well Russian does in a modern war. They don't do that good. The other thing is like, if,

Like I know you guys are this is fucking Texas you guys gonna get mad if I was like the tactician involved in how to invade America Alaska would be the last place that I decided to try first, but they have the biggest guns They have the most they have they have literally I checked they have the highest percentage of gun ownership Yep, but lowest population density. Yep, I

Yep. Most murders of women. They are the most violent. They are the most. Not just women. They're the most violent state in America per capita, period. By far. Yes, nothing changes when you invade. They beat out Chicago and Michigan. You understand that? For violence. They beat out Chicago. The state beats out Chicago? No. They beat out Chicago or Illinois? They beat out Illinois. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Like I refuse to believe Alaska beats out Chicago. Yeah, it's like like they beat the Buccaneers everybody knows I'm talking about You get my point That was such a way with words. Okay. Yeah, I'm on board again. Let's go. Oh, it makes sense now That's the worst state to ever try to fucking invade. It's fucking the giant you have everyone and there's bears. It's cold as fuck It's all the shit. I wouldn't they have the highest percentage of gun ownership, but at the same time they have the highest oil to gun ratio

So like strategically let's say you invade Alaska I doubt it's gonna go well, but let's say it does then you have to go through Canada before why wouldn't they stop there? Okay, Alaska has already been invaded you know that right well most people don't know you're -

Yeah, yeah, okay, but the Japanese yeah, oh yeah, three thousand Japanese right that was like a really like yeah, America and Canadians repelled him because that was like a very I want to say I remember something about that and flamethrower usage was really heavy I don't know about flamethrowers was that games Matt I could be making this up right now didn't one of the pilots miss and that's with the pilot that did something in Oregon Portland hey there's a Japanese pilot they're like shot up something or something happened they

Oh, the only U.S. civilian casualties that died were on the coast of Oregon. The firebomb? But that was a firebomb. Okay, and then one Japanese soldier felt bad about it, came back to Oregon, gave his family sword. Have you read that story? No, I haven't. Yeah, okay, you know that story. Yeah, one dude, like a Japanese dude, because he got off of the bombing run.

I forget what happened. I think what they were doing is, and I could be totally like comment sections going to rip me apart. But what I think it was, it was, they were, they were trying to take advantage of like wind currents across the Pacific. And so they set up basically like, you know, those like, yeah, they, they set that off to go like do incendiary runs basically on the West coast of the United States. And we never reported on it because we didn't want them to know it was successful, but they were making it. And it like blew up a family on a picnic.

Yeah, I was going to say, it only hit like one home. Yeah, those were the only U.S. civilians to die in World War II on. Wait, they used the little tea candle fire thing to start fires? I mean, they made bigger ones, but it was that concept, the paper lanterns, and they'd let them go at this certain spot, and there's this air current that travels very quickly from Japan to the West Coast, and they were just releasing thousands and thousands of these paper lanterns, hoping that it would reach the West Coast. Meanwhile, there's a war...

And the United States government suppressed it in the news and didn't tell anybody. That way, the Japanese didn't find out that it was working. So they're like, oh, shit, they're not making it. Let's abandon the project. Okay, we light these candles and we wait for three weeks. I was going to say, meanwhile, there's a wartime meteorologist who's just happy his job is useful. Well, they're not reporting on the candles. Well, there was a current that like...

Fucked them over and went and actually landed in Japan. No and like a few the lanterns landed home side for Japan Yeah, like failed ones came back, and I think it was like two or three I don't know if that's the number I know a number came back and actually hit them and I was like All of wood yes, it's kind of like the CSS Hunley if you guys ever like read into that Oh, that was the first ever combat submarine ever the Confederates built it. Oh

It was a straight-up like no it wasn't an iron about Nick quickly corrected me in my stupid brain Like it was it was like seven dudes like paddle-powered submarine and like

Like it technically was the first submarine to ever in combat sink an enemy ship. However, there were two that sank before that. And then that one sank after it was done with its combat mission. So you lost like combined total seven crews apiece, 21.

Great. What year was this? 1864, I would say. Jesus Christ. Dude, those people. Anything that's on that next frontier, it's like a submarine. And you're the first of the class. It's like, we're going to find out how this works. We're going to make it work. Someone has to do it. No, you're not. You're going to fucking die. Well, they technically succeeded. Technically. Private, come on. It's the Marines every time. Well, it's like jumping out of a plane, too. Like, when you...

Think about that the first dude that jumped out of plane. He had no idea how his body was gonna stabilize in the air And they're just like throwing like I got this you jump on your body's just like fucking flailing about Fucking Georgia Have you heard the story about the Gurkha's and Britain and the air being airborne I

Do you guys know what Gurkhas are, right? Yeah, the guys with the cool knives. The kukris, right? So the badasses. Real quick, I love how this started immediately with Cum and now we're in deep history time. It's my favorite thing ever. I love this podcast. There's a story where... The turns we take. Gurkhas fight for the British military and they went to this unit of Gurkhas and they're like, we're looking for some guys to jump out of planes. And they were talking to like 200 Gurkhas and only five dudes volunteered.

And the British commander's like, what is happening? Like, these guys are supposed to be badasses and don't fear anything. What's going on? So they pulled their commander up and they're like, and he explained what it was. They didn't realize that they were going to get parachutes. So those five dudes volunteered to jump out without parachutes. Those are the hardest motherfuckers. It's like you guys jumping out of planes. They just go, whoa!

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But that's the shit where you're like, you're fucking, you're just jumping off a goddamn plane. You have no idea. The American army, there would be, if 200 people, five of them, if they're like, you're jumping out of planes without any context. And there were no parachutes at the time. There's probably five. You know it. They'd be like. That's just such a thought process. What's amazing to me, though, is like when we were doing those fucking combat jumps in World War II, like paratrooper jumps over fucking Normandy, right?

The plane had been around for less than Eli has been alive. The airplane has existed for less than that. That's fucking true and terrifying. It blows my mind. Military drives all innovation pretty much though. That's true, yeah. Because they throw bodies at technology. That's a weird concept. The parachute was at that time around for a few years. No, parachutes predate planes.

Okay, now you have my attention. Why did we need parents? I'm gonna say it started with the dude with John We didn't eat them but like I I'm pretty sure it's like Leonardo da Vinci had sketches of the parachute parachute. Well, I mean he also had stuff like of that No, but like I understand that but like no there were actual parachutes in order for jumping off of like What

Because the idea of a lot of shit's been around for a long time. Yeah, I was going to say the idea and concept there in sketches. This is going to be useful eventually. I drew a lot of shit when I was a little kid. Yeah, I drew all the things. Dude, it's like patent trolls in early America. That was so wild. It's just like SpaceX versus Blue Origin on the re-landing rocket shit. Yeah.

Yeah, where he's just like, Elon Musk is throwing a fit because Blue Origin, Jeff Bezos' company, was trying to patent the re-landing rocket. He's like, yeah, no shit. We've had the idea of a re-landing rocket since Jules Verne, but the problem is fucking figuring out how to do it, retard. Like,

Like that's the hard part. - Here's the fucking issue. - Anybody, any fucking four year old can draw it. Like that's pretty fucking easy. - The only reason like we have cars now is 'cause of Ford. Because like the original patent trolls, when automobiles were first coming out, like some fucking patent troll before automobiles were a thing, he was like, well, we got carriages and we got these new electric motor things. I bet that's gonna happen eventually. And he got a patent for a carriage that was driven by a motor. He owned the patent to fucking cars.

Then for there was a period of like 20 years where every automobile had to pay a royalty to this guy that on this patent because he he didn't figure out how to fucking do it because he just had the idea and did the paperwork for it because it was an electric motor

I think it was just the motor in general. It's like Tesla, how Tesla got fucked out a lot of shit. You got... So how Pat and Charles... Man, watching the Silicon Valley again, I forgot how good Silicon Valley is. The HBO show? Yeah. When you rewatch it and how good... They're so good at business and then just...

dumb shit, everything leading up. But Patent Trolls, they have a whole episode on Patent Trolls and those guys were just like, yeah, I found this song. It was fucking close enough to all these songs that we're releasing. I just started fucking buying old songs and I'd sue the fuck out of any artist and everything and they'd settle because they didn't want to pay everything or go to court. So that's how I made my money. Somebody just did a video because I guess whoever owns the GTA San Andreas theme song

went and started copyright striking every YouTube video on YouTube that used their song for more than five seconds.

Now they're there and they went for the revenue split so there's like all these humongous videos that they're just now getting all the revenue for Because because they have to also back a million refined. Yeah Like there was a guy that did a whole video on it, and they're they're rich now Well, that's a copyright struck a nine second jingle do Disney right now is YouTube's not broken well Disney's about to hit the hundred year cycle for Mickey and

So that's where you have those weird loss. Cause this wasn't literally an act of Congress that stopped them from going into public domain. Yeah. Yeah. Literally because a lot of songs you have old songs. That's why you can use like a Beethoven, all that old shit. But when you had Mickey coming up, it's like, Oh yeah, this is fucking a hundred years old. This is going to go to public domain. And Disney's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was 50 years last time. It was at the 50 year mark was when it expired. Yeah.

And then they extended it. It was literally an act of Congress. They put a bill forward that extended it to 100 or some shit like that. And 100 just happened. Yeah, that's what was just happening was the 100-year mark. Side note, old Disney movies. Whoa!

Real good stuff. There's a lot of racials on there. Are they flying everywhere? Cartoons. And movies. That is one of my... They canceled completely. One of my favorites was the World War II Disney era. Dude, with fucking Daffy Duck. Like, you have Daffy Duck and Donald Duck. Yeah, Nazi Donald Duck. And you're like...

Go on. And Cole Black in The Seven Dwarfs. It was just like, it was an ethnic copy of Snow White. Yeah. But my favorite joke in there was not the racial jokes. It was because it was during World War II. They hired a hitman on Cole Black. And there was a car that was, you know, hitman, whatever. Adult male, 10 bucks or whatever. Half off. Yeah.

Japs free. Oh my god. Bro, Nate, you're young. Have you watched some of the old... They go hard. They go real hard. You're like...

Yeah, cartoons, they hit different in the 40s. My favorite bit of trivia is that Walt Disney was at his peak during this time. He was not only alive, he was running the goddamn company. And he was like, oh yeah, we're putting that shit out. Send it. This is what we do now. And you're like, Walt Disney. Different time. Goddamn it.

I like this whole podcast has literally just been we're gonna be very Very vulgar for the first five minutes now that it's just the boys. Let's talk about history, okay? Now that it's just the boys we're deep diving in it Nick what lessons do we have to learn today? Do that fucking act story got me wait acts for act story say which one are you? Cuz I just had a kid

and I named him Cassius. - Oh, yes! - Eli is very curious why I named my son that. - Cassius, 'cause I was like, oh. - Like Cassius Clay. - Thank you. - Yeah, but not the boxer. - There was someone else before that. - The guy that Muhammad Ali was named after. - All right, you have my attention. - So he is the most gangster politician of all time. Cassius Marcellius Clay was a politician in the 1800s. He was born on a plantation, a plantation owner's son in Kentucky.

grew up, went to college, decided that he did not like slavery at all.

Went home, freed all of his family's slaves to the cost of, it was like $40,000 in value that he just... In the day or adjusted for... In the day, adjusted for inflation. I was trying to do the math. It's like roughly $2 million-ish today. Yeah, that's a lot. For value. I thought it was $40,000 today. I was like, that's like a nice Mazda SUV. Jesus. Like half a truck. Yeah.

$2.00. It's almost a wrap. How many Twitch subs is that? Half a one. $2.00 million, he releases everybody. Then he starts a newspaper and becomes a politician. He starts this newspaper called, I want to think, it's either The True American or The True Patriot is the name of the newspaper. And he basically puts out information. That sounds like a white nationalist website. Now it does.

Back then, it was still pretty edgy. So he starts pushing out, like, we're going to free slaves. Obviously, it's not very popular in Kentucky in the 1800s. He would have bombed his YouTube channel. Don't quote me on the years. So he starts a newspaper, and he's getting all these death threats. He ends up armoring...

puts metal sheeting at the front of the newspaper, has a bunch of guns loaded and ready to go. He has a cannon at the top of the stairs.

Oh, he's a full-on... He's ready to get ambushed. He's not expecting his employees to fight. He has an emergency exit on the roof for his employees, and he has the entire building rigged up and ready to explode. He's going solo dolo, bro. Who's ready to fucking go about this? Who works here? So he transitions completely into politics. Sir, this is an Applebee's. What are you doing here? They try to assassinate him. He kills the assassin and both of his friends with a bowie knife.

The assassin and the assassin's friends or his own friends? No, the assassin and his two buddies. Okay, thank you. He's like, boom! I'm so hard right now! Cody and Nick, I'm sorry, the wargasm's taking over! This door's way cooler now! He's got a murder boner! So he kills the assassin, continues running as a politician,

He then solves most of his disagreements by duels, and he's credited with winning the most duels in North American history. Then he goes on, he survives two more assassination attempts, killing the assassin each time, and then he actually is supposed to be vice president for Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln doesn't take him because he's pushing Emancipation Proclamation to free the slaves,

Way harder than Abraham Lincoln wanted to. Yeah, okay. So this was his first run for president? Yes. So he's actually the reason that Abraham Lincoln did it as early on as he did. He straight up bullied him into having to do it earlier than he wanted to. Because Abe Lincoln was not actually very pro-anti-slavery. Right. He was...

Cassius Marcellius Clay is the reason that he did it, though. He was his same party opposition. He was running against Abraham Lincoln, and his platform was freeing the slaves, and it was popular enough that he had to do it to beat Cassius Clay. So y'all motherfuckers over here are actually learning a shit in this podcast. I like this. Other than cum ropes. Do we start with Brandon's discount cum code and we end here? I need to make sure that's actually correct. I'm not 100% sure that's right.

That's actually like 10% off, 50% more. There you go. That's a good little slogan. That's why you make the big bucks, Nick. That's why I make the medium bucks. Dude, but stories like that where you have the idea of, have you guys read Twins?

Tweets from the 1800s or have you seen those have I read tweets from no there's a Jesus Christ I've got nothing read tweets from the 18 there's accounts about everything on these and it's the most hilarious because it's like tweets if they existed at that time and you're like

Oh, this is dope. It's like YouTube videos at that time. Cassius Clay would have like, how would his YouTube videos go during that segment? They'd probably be censored and demonetized. Man challenged my honor. He's dead. Number 14. Hashtag 14. Hashtag 15. It's always like...

Oh my god crazy story today guys and it cuts to like a three second boom. I won't do it. You're just like wiping blood off your face. Yo vlog day number 38. Yo I'm pissed at my family. You know what I'm gonna do today? Fucking free them slaves. Let's go cash a slave in the house. Hey hashtag free the slaves. Let's get this bitch rolling. Get that going on Twitter.

Hashtag Cassius cock is trending on Twitter Having a duel with the person who put Cassius cock shooting him in the head old the guy

That was the good old days where you could just agree to shoot each other. Today we have YouTube boxing matches. Back in the day, it was just YouTube duels, and that YouTuber died right there. It was just gone. If we could just have Glocks or something. It's like, you want to do a duel? Oh, we walk 15 bases and turn around and shoot with a Glock?

Yes. All day long. I feel like people would get a lot less upset. Yeah. And there would be a very... They'd be like, I'm not going to be a keyboard warrior today. It's not worth it. Shut the fuck up. I've watched you draw. If there was a dual key, you just hit a key. You just duel the person. Like, yep.

Okay, we went extreme but like fist fight if there was a fist fight key not to go to do it what if there's a I mean, I would do it still there's a couple people online. I'd be like I still like trial by throw down the handkerchief or whatever the fuck

Fuck you tear one concealed. I think the really fast issue Dual button and then you like back really far and you're like This guy's mildly upsetting to me duel well

Next guy. Well, I mean, I guess I kind of disagree with that duel. Just cleansing my disagreements from the internet. You just watched that following account disappear one at a time. It's like 448.

4:46 I'm being shadow banned. God damn it. No, you're just shooting all your followers. Those are your fans. They just don't like what you say sometimes. You said I didn't like the new cinematography. I had to kill that dude. Yeah, so get your shit straight motherfuckers or we'll duel you. One in chat if you want to duel Brandon, we'll set it up. Oh god. I'll do it. Dude, that will go way better than boxing. Yeah.

Kill people? Dude, celebrity dueling would be baller. I want it to be with bone arrows. I think it'd be way cooler with bows. It would take forever. How unskilled people are in Hollywood. Exactly. Oh my God, you're onto something. If you're looking at some of these YouTubers and you're like, okay, you put them in the middle of the Coliseum.

A buzzer goes off. They have to sprint a hundred yards apiece to their bow. I want to do a Rosie O'Donnell. And you have to get that. She didn't sprint a hundred yards anywhere. Exactly. It's getting that bow. You know, they're like frustrated trying to hit arrows. I can't miss. They're walking closer to try to engage. It is just like recurve bows. They have no idea. The only thing I thought of when you're talking about celebrities with this shit is they're

Jennifer Lawrence dueling Harvey Weinstein. Bet you wish I didn't have to fucking learn with this. Fucking do the nose bitch. Do the nose bitch. Girl on fire ain't taking your shit no more. God damn. Ain't taking your dick no more. I'm going to go pee on that nose. We'll start the after show. Everyone, thank you for coming to the Unscribed Podcast. Please follow Mr. Eli Double Tap, Nico Ortiz,

Nick, Fat Electrician, and Brandon Herrera. Would you guys like to shout out anything? Can I get a shout out to follow Donut Operator? Also. Come. Come. Also, these two, like,

Nico and you know okay after show bye if you want to watch the fucked up shit we're going to talk about on the after show please go to our patreon patreon.com slash is it unsubscribe patreon slash unsubscribe Nick is going to actually have sex with Nico it's going to be great yeah we're going to touch this BP it's going to be cool looking forward to that part get ready for hand career not trying to brag very strong I could probably squeeze cum from a stump music

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