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Thanks guys. Sink it. Yeah, it's a lot confusing, Fluk. Fluk, Fluk, Fluk. Wait, wait, wait. Here, let me get... Fluk that guy. Is that yours? Literally, his username is that. Let's Fluk this game. Yeah. I'll Fluk this game? Yeah. That's not as cool. Random as shit. He's actually thinking about changing it. Can we all just talk about how dumb it would be to change the username Fluk? Like, that's a great username. He's like, just Fluk? It's just Fluk. It's also just F-L-U-C-K? Yeah. Keep that.
Ever forever it's also a password though. That's why you're children Cody would you like one nothing are we doing this I mean we brought some Jack whiskey is a gift I know you guys got the first guest that bad as a gift yeah a lot of time is it really name one other guest
I couldn't name any of our guests. I don't remember any of them. He's like, I can't name a guest. Are we good on audio? With everyone? Okay, cool. We have done so many podcasts. We fuck it up. Someone's not fucking talking. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the fact that there's always somebody that's trying to keep everything together. And I'm like, that's great. Thank you. You're that guy. Perfect. It's never Cody. He's never that guy. I just haven't drank in like a week. Well, she's got it, Eli.
It's racially ambiguous, baddie. That guy's fucking ridiculous, don't it? It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hey guys, thanks for watching the Unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...
That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating.
And that's where the, you come, that is. Come subscribe. Respecting women. Come high. Come high. And respecting women. Cheers. How do you guys get this podcast started? Just like that. Alcoholism. And then we got to do this. Ready? Oh shit, I wasn't ready. I already double cracked both of mine. I've been drinking my noise. It's okay, we're getting ready. Just make the sound, just make the sound. Cheers.
And that's how we sync our mics. Nice. We would drink a copious amount of manmosas at our favorite brunch place. And then we were like, we should just do this at my house. And we used to set our three cell phones up to record. Sounds like every other man's podcast. Well, to be fair, it was two eyes. I'm like, I don't know. We just had this brilliant idea to talk about sports betting and fucking UFC. Dude, I don't know. This is brought to you by Manscaped. So...
Okay, we got sponsors more than two weeks ago. Chill. Hey, I have a promo code, Bottom. Thank you. You're just on here promoting on your own. By the way, Bottom of the Barrel, promo code right here, buddy.
So good fucking convincing my audience shit You can't
Hi everyone, Unsubscribe Podcast here today. I'm joined by Eli Doubletap, Chris Ramsey, Wes Barker, and Batty Streams. They're awesome people and I love them. Fuck yeah. Yeah, we said to get that out of the way. Okay, hold on. The elephant in the room, Cody, your hair. Oh, I'm not using it anymore. That's the elephant in the room right now. It isn't for us. This is the only Cody we've ever known.
- It's definitely nothing to do with a new studio, a new set, lighting, a table. - This is also the only studio I've ever seen as well. So all of this is very normal. - You guys walked in and you're like, "Man, the studio looks way bigger." - Yeah, 100%. We saw it, we're like, damn. 'Cause like we get that a lot too when people come into the office and they're like, "Well, this looks a lot different than on camera." And we had the same thought, except it was valid 'cause it's not the same as what we did. - We built this yesterday.
Everything happened in Reverse so we got here you let us in remotely so we were in here before you were here Oh, yeah, and then you came here, and then we saw your hair service Before you guys just like talking shit about this lighting Fantastic hidden wires fan being the key word we did enjoy the sushi chef you had over there. That was cool. Thank you. Yeah, and then chocolate
The fridge on top of a cardboard box. Yeah. I was helping him out. But still the sushi chef next to that is amazing. So many giant bobblehead boxes just laying around and they're all sitting in the background. Now this background, by the way, I gotta say guys, looks pretty good. This is really, really nice. Wes mentioned earlier the purple and blue light for some reason screams like
nerd yeah i just like blade runner oh yeah no stream it screams like twitch like fucking gamer like okay you guys nailed the vibe really love it can we get your uh like a loud sound perfect good
come the end that was weird but i know what he said fucking star wars they were there already you had them there yeah i thought you would take them down you're like you're like you know what's gonna go good with the star wars decor three candles that was a mistake those were there yeah yeah because there was nothing you put them there i got a question for you guys what's your uh
Usually one minute. They're gone. They're gone? 34 minutes. Is it 34? We got 34 minutes to plug our own podcast. It's just heavy. Guys, have you ever checked out... Bottom of the barrel. Can I? Can you mind? Let me...
We've had one or two dreams, Mike. No, seriously, shut the fuck up. I'm sober. Braddy, can you mute everyone's Mike Buck? All right, listen, guys. I'm going to be, I'm going to fucking shoot it right down this middle barrel here, right on the wide. Wes and I have been working on a podcast for the past two years. It's called Bottom of the Barrel. Did you fucking mute? You son of a bitch. Oh, shit. That was great. Let's go.
Bottom of the barrel podcast, Wes Barker, full Penn and Teller, by the way. Uh,
- And that's about it, right? - Is that all you got? What is your claim to fame? - That's one of them. - I wanna hear about Penn and Taylor. You fooled them. - Yeah. - You did fool Penn twice. - Yeah, well they were looking. - Just one time. - They were looking. - Twice? - Just once. - Not twice though? - Not twice. - Only once. - Yeah, they're like, "Do you wanna come back?" - What was the guy that did it twice? - Tell me about that guy. - Don, Sean, Sean. - I don't wanna hear about you. - Sean.
He's old and he's done it a long time and he's old. I don't know what to tell you. Wes actually was hilarious that his trick that he did to fool Penn and Teller. You guys can check it. It was my trick. I don't know.
The trick that he used was actually super simple and they were fucking angry. Penn was legit pissed off at you because it was the simplest method. I fooled him from a method published in 1926.
That's so old that- Magicians are fucking weird. Yeah, we're the 80s. I don't like that shit. I don't know a thing about 1926. That makes me angry. I was like, "You have a badge again?" "Yes." I don't know what was going on then. I don't even know. I hit on some historical things. 26 dude, I know. Life is great in the 20s, man. You kidding me? Oh yeah. Not for my people, but you white people go away with a lot at that time. Dude, for white people, life's been great for like a long time. Ever? Ever.
Except 2040. That gets a little dicey in 2040. I don't know if you guys know. We're enjoying the ride right now because after that it's all fucking downhill. We deserve it. I thought you fucked up the audio. God damn it. I know. I trust you. I believe it. Why do you prefer Mini Mullet?
Who? Yeah, why not the full one? Hey, Cody, welcome back. This is great. This is fun. I like this. We're looping it back. I know. Well, you guys just take control. We're good. So I grew up in Alabama. Now it's dead. No, I'm just kidding. Who molested you? My cousin loves this hair.
Okay, so this is the first time we've ever had five people which I
completely different than our normal cadence. We usually, we've done four, it's three all the time. And then four bring Brandon a lot in and now we have, yeah, fantastic beauties. Chris is assistant. That's right. Yeah. Bottom of the barrel podcast.
you know i started a podcast and somehow he's like taking it over as if it's his and i'm the extra guy it was mine yeah i brought him in was it start a wiki and make sure that's what i'm saying i started the podcast there it is he gave it to me i was like it's dying it was on life support when you were it wasn't i was cruising numbers i did it
It was me and my mom. He saved it. We're good. Thank you for that. Yeah, he's like, buddy, give me a coattail to hang on. And he brought that coattail, and I'm proud of you. I couldn't, and it was going too fast. I had to let go. He had to circle back and grab the coattails again. I'm on my second coattail grab. First time was our TV show. I lost it. Where does that expression come from, by the way? Who's ever been, like, literally holding on to someone's coattails and being like, ooh. Never. That was butlers and shit when you were walking in, right?
right never ask for a say comes from this always raised the coattails on the white robes with the wizards yeah yeah that wasn't a ghost
I'm passionate on this ghost costume for four generations Why are we wearing costumes in March daddy? Can we make our first ghost costume merch costume? From poker branding where you bought all of our unsubscribed merch It's just great ghost
Ghost costumes all the time! I thought it was gonna be Santa's $20 to cut eye holes in your own pillowcase.
- Yo, Bunker would like that. We just been like, just send people, just buy a bunch of pillowcases. - How uncreative is the Ku Klux Klan's fucking costume? Can we talk about it? - Lazy, lazy. - You could have done so many things. - Spruce it up. - Spell Klan right. - They've made you spell Klan right? - Or Alabama. - Yeah. - All right. - Was there a tryout at the first? - Is that where he's from for real? - Yeah. - Oh, okay. - All right, we won't talk about it. It's fine. - How'd you get to the original? - We're a record.
How easy is it to burn crosses? Make it one of something stronger. Burn a lower... What is that? Lowercase t for time to get out. Burn a lowercase t to time to get out. We'll wear ghost costumes and scare people. Oh my god.
This episode's one of those. I can't wait to get cancelled on Twitch finally. Cancelled for what? Making fun of the Klu Klux Klan? Fuck those guys. I agree. This guy's worried about making fun of the Klu Klux Klan. He's like, no, dude. The Klan's gonna cancel us. You don't know my audience.
We get canceled from the Clicks. We get canceled from the Clicks. That's what happens when the Clicks come to the sky. Hey, clan? Subscribe.
Hey, Klan. Hey, Klan. Hey, you Klan out there. Not the Wu-Tang Clan. Oh, man. Oh, no. Who do you think the most famous person that secretly watches your guys' shit is? You're on us. We already discussed it. Oh, yeah? Is it you, Jake? We just want Big H also. You think or you hope?
We know. You know? You know. Dude, obviously. Holy shit. Did you see who tweeted on John McAfee's account yesterday? I hope he was. So, okay, Cody was the last person John McAfee ever talked to before he was assassinated. What? He committed suicide. Yeah, that's what I said. Assassinated. Yeah. He did text. His wife's tweeting off his account now. Who is? His wife.
She's like, I feel like it's really important to talk about all the sketchy shit that happened when I was with my husband. And I need to point out today I was followed around all day by a bunch of creepy men. What? Also the same guy. On his account. Yeah, but what was she wearing?
Maybe she invited him. We intro this with respect women and you're like, but what would she wear? It was her fault at the end of the day. Holy shit. Come on. Chris, are you trying to retire? I'm trying to get views on Bottom of the Barrel podcast. Listen, if you're looking to cancel us, we've said some way worse shit on our pod. You should really go down the rabbit hole trying to find a clue. Yeah.
Okay, we'll start before we get into the puzzles wait, I don't want to talk about puzzles maybe either yeah, there you go
Until Freddie Wong, I didn't know you were a magician until I texted her. I was like, bro, you need to check out this puzzle guy. Chris is one of the greatest magicians. I was like, I think you're thinking of the wrong individual. I don't think he does magic. Magic shit.
That Penn and Teller guy doesn't talk, right? Well, he's one dude, right? Penn and Teller's one dude. Penn and Teller? Mr. Penn Teller? Mr. Penn Teller? Mr. Penn Teller? So we have a segment first and foremost is... Do we? Yeah, the superpowers. Mm-hmm.
You guys get to assign yourself a special power superpower to be part of the offenders. We've managed to become part of the offenders already. No, not yet. So how this works is Cody, can you explain your superpower? Okay, so I can fly, but I have to shout racial slurs. So just say...
In Nordia. In low income areas. It's a catch 22. It was like a section 8 tower. I had to fly in and save him. He's taking the stairs. Tower 7. Just walking up the stairs all angrily. Batty Combs.
If he picks up anything heavy. I have extreme strength, but when I use any form of that strength, I just come uncontrollably. It seems great, I understand, but... There's a fire at the elementary school. Go, Addie, save those children! I can't save any of these kids. I have to report myself. I'm going to have to staff a list.
Our friend Eli here, the brown streak. Super speed, but he shits himself uncontrollably. That's the best one. What if you run out of shit, though? No, he doesn't. He's Mexican, dude. He eats some crazy shit. That's how that works. He's got a lot of fuel. Cut, pluck, punch in.
What happens if you run out of shit? Then punch in on Chris and be like, he can't, he's Mexican. Chris Ramsey. Nice music. We're just getting you canceled all the time. We're going to talk about the sponsor. We're all set. Bottom of the barrel. That's what pops up. Oh my God. I'm going to lose some. No, you're going to gain a lot of it. They're not good. You don't want these. Fuck.
What's your superpower? Okay, all right teleport
I'm a teleport guy. - You've had that before? - We already have something to teleport, so you're gonna have to choose a new one. - I can do a new one. - You think I can do a new one? - No. - Okay, it's pressure's on. - All right, well then I get to-- - Taken. - Oh. - X-ray, I got X-ray vision. - Oh, see? New one. See, Chris is way better than us. - I got X-ray vision, but it only works on children. - Wow, okay, you have already spread the word.
You're like, I got this. I can see through shit, but only keep close. What are we doing now? We're all talking about the thing we want, right? What's the downside? We're all talking about the thing we really want, right? Okay, guys, what's my downside? Cody, you're on the downside. Download!
It's like what's the downside? I just say then you get the downside is you shit yourself? They cry oh no no You're only helping I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm so hard. Yeah. What is this? X-ray vision. Okay. Hold on. One step at a time. X-ray vision. Oh, fuck yes. He's the only way. How's that? You, you're not a, you're a super pedo. No, no, it's all you are. You're a, yeah, groomer. I'm groomer, man. Oh,
You're not sitting here- I only can see through kids stuff. What superhero are you? Well, I mean, hey, if there's like a school shooting, like they're gonna call me. And I'm gonna be so ready. No, they're not. No? How do these shooters run the building? What are you gonna do? 'Cause I'm gonna go in there and be like, "Hey, look at all these kids' genitals." I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. You're in jail! Dude, you're literally a machine at TSA. That's all you are. Is that what they're doing?
I knew they were shady. They can pat down those children. So I'll do they shouldn't be.
Can I get laser eyes? Yes. I could be a homelander laser eyes guy. Yeah. But your laser eyes, like how much damage they do is so minimal. It's like, you could try to zap a tattoo, but you're like sunburned. You get sunburns. Is this a long haul? You could maybe give a sunburn. It's annoying. Laser eyes, but only when...
You're talking to someone who you're not interested in talking to. So like they're talking to you anytime. You start laser eyeing them. You kill somebody? Yeah, you kill them instantly. I can only laser eye people that I like. That's not any better. That sounds worse. You guys are the worst super... You are our first super villains that just want to fucking see a child and kill people. These are super villains. I don't want it. Don't put me in that category.
I don't wanna see these children! It's a gift and a curse! Okay, so now we have the offenders. What is the villain group led by Chris and Wes here? Fucking Colin fucking- The offenders! The Cyclops and Pedoman. Listen. This has-
I'm not naked. Yes, you are. You're close and I'll burn them off. Yeah, there's someone out there watching this being like I wish that was my power Yeah, bottom of the barrel I don't know. Yes, I do many people already pick the good superpowers. No You can kill everyone like I
Yeah, laser eyes. Laser eyes. Oh my god, that's so much better. He's like, guys, he's like, I got you guys. You just fried a school. Fucking turn this way. I'm ready to go. It's so much better. I'm like, what?
That's so much better than just aiming him around in your blind view of laser vision. You're like, what's his name? Daredevil and Cyclops at the same time. Yes. You literally need a sidekick. Chris is your sidekick. No, I think she's a very powerful guy. There you go. I can see. This is my hair thing. Let me see these two figures real quick. This is going to be inside. Guys, I'll save the day. Brr.
That was a church. My bad. Which way do I need to look? Oh, man. No, not those kids. That's it.
It's always your life. Not the kids. He's like, that was a school. He's like, I know. As long as you boys are a solid four foot eight, you're good. Keep it over four feet. Minji criminals are running rampant. I can't stop. He's like, I can't make it in.
I think so now they met here dick legend. He was definitely I was like hey here Yeah, anyways they are on the barrel I'm amazed you guys are the least PC people we've had on probably what
What do you mean PC? What are you talking about? We're talking about things that they're thinking about right now. Yeah, it's funny stuff. You sick fuck. Oh my God. As if Peter Dinklage doesn't know he's short, you fucking piece of shit. You think he thinks he's tall? You're fucking beating your shit. He's just finding out now. He's like, what?
I've been cast as a Christmas I want Peter Dinklage on the podcast next. I love Peter Dinklage. On the what podcast? No, just on this one. On the podcast.
He's a good looking little guy. He's a good looking little person. There are some little people who are like, you know, they all kind of, you know, and he's like a good looking little person. He's a good looking little person. We found the opposite of that. What Cody did. Oh man. Is that what you're saying? No. Holy shit. Your superpower to loved it.
- He looks like a child? - She. - No. I went to a porn convention and there's this chick named Tiny Texie. It's Tiny Texie, right? - Yeah. - Sure. - But she's not stumpy like midgets. She's proportionate, but she's still this tall. And she does, I think she does porn, but she definitely strips. - Is she nine?
He looks, yeah. That's the problem. She looks weird. Her voice isn't that. Her voice is like a nine-year-old. It's weird. Like, he thought a little kid was at the convention. Wait, she does porn? I think, I don't know. She's at least a stripper. Bare minimum a stripper. What's her name? Tiny Texas? Are your powers active? I mean, I gotta find out. Tiny Texas. I can't wait for this reaction because it is...
I'm not going to look. Nope. I've already looked. The one on the right. This one here. Zoom in real quick. I get it. No, I get it.
Yeah, I'll sub. I get it. And with my superpowers, I can clearly see through her clothes. Which is amazing. You have to burn your phone now before you go back to Canada. You're not going to be allowed back with that. I don't know if they allow that, but let criminals go. Canada's pretty slack. Everybody wants freedom of speech, though. Yeah, but this and a gun?
I'm not gonna do that. - You take a picture of a gun, you better watch out. - Totally cool. Guns, no go. - Yeah, exactly. - Brownface is also our leader. - Our leader, Brownface. - Brownface is also, if we do blackface or brownface, that's no problem. But yeah, guns are, we don't talk about those. - Let's not start now. - Did you know that Trudeau was actually, he didn't just brownface once.
He's like a repeat offender. Okay, when you say brownface, are we talking like Eli? No, no. He went full... He went like Sri Lankan. Oh! Yeah, like shark and like turban, but he also went like brown arms, brown legs. He didn't stop in the face, right? He's a cosplayer. Yeah, cosplaying. But then he did it every year. So they confronted him. They're like, what was this? He's like, I was drunk. I was at a party. He's like, what about this? And he's like...
- I'm sorry. - You literally said like, "No." - Do you remember the movie Short Circuit? - Oh yeah. - '95? - Yes. - Oh shit. - That was the same era. They had a real white actor doing brown costume, face, everything.
for that movie. So I forgot about that. He's doing this. I'm not going to. Yeah, he's white as fuck. They did that show. Oh, the short circuit guy was white. God. And he's like, Johnny, what year is that? Ninety whatever. And Trudeau's out there being like, I'm also going to play Aladdin. Right. In his Halloween costume. So I don't want to defend the guy, but like,
- It doesn't really sound like you're defending him, but let's keep going. - I got a couple pictures too. - Is that one of those? - Yeah, Johnny Five Alive dude. - You're gonna love our audience. - But seriously, I feel like Trudeau could have not brown faced, wore the turban,
And still looked like a lot. Yeah, but you go to brown town and you're much more convincing right? Children's show Oh my god, you were not joking he straight went yeah fucking brown that's not him I
That's not true. That's the actor from Short Story. I'm like, that is not Justin Trudeau. Yeah. Yeah. That guy is. But he also looks the part though. Indian? Yeah. What are they called? They're called South Asian at home. Because we don't know if they're Indian 100%. They might not be from India.
What do you call them? South Asian. South Asian? Yeah. I was being PC. Yeah, that's what you would call them. Really? All right. Bottom of the barrel podcast. Yeah. If you want to learn all the real terms. South Asian. Salvation. No. The salvation one. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Cody, I just decided on a mini mullet. Oh, man. Holy shit.
You guys want to magic trick yes, no one to go back mute it good one or bad one Hey, we're listening to our podcast today. Fuck you. Yeah, that's it. That's all I got I'll describe exactly what Chris would go which which is the one do that I do right now. Yeah, all right Yeah, oh, yeah, I don't give it away
Don't give it away. He shit three out. Wait, you actually are gonna make a bottle? Yeah. Give me the close-up on the bottle. Take a bottle. I go with a Corona bottle. I put it in a bag. Yep. He's putting an empty Corona bottle. Lean closer to Batty so you get that nice... Come over this way. Move this way. There you go. Oh. This side. Okay. Yep. I take a Corona bottle. Yep. Corona bottle. And I put it in a paper bag. In a shit bag. And then I do the move. That's the move. Right? And then you flick it.
I'm just gonna flick it up for a little time. And then you turn it over, vanish! It's gone, we'll never see it again. I'll bring it back! Oh, yes! He's just holding the bottle. Can I try that one? Okay, I'll make- Alright, alright. Alright, I can do it. Yeah, I refill the bottle. I refill the bottle, I refill the bottle! I refill the bottle! I refill the bottle! I feel cheap 'cause I looked at this bag earlier. No, here we go! Is that a full-filling bottle now? Okay. Okay, they don't fucking care. What? You know what? I'm explaining! You know what? To our idiots! Alright, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.
I'm upset. Wait, Batty, what the- Batty, what- Woo! He just crumbled the bag. Bottom of the barrel, 34 minute viewer attention. Let's go, baby. Batty, where did it go? Nothing to see, motherfucker! Batty!
- Batty, we just bought that. - This is Brandon table, Batty's like, "Let's open the bottle now!" - Yes, Batty, I'm a good magician, you fuckin' weirdo. - Who looks stupid now, Batty? - Yeah, you fuckin' goon. - Batty's gonna spend the next hour.
Feel bad for the stable. Fuck the table. Eli. Huh? Can I borrow that mug over there? You see that mug? The bottle's gone. Which mug? The mug that said the beer mug. I was like, I knew what was happening. I seen that bag. Hey, buddy. I don't want to touch you. Yeah. Let me do it with a dick. It's in your ass. Wes, Wes. Check this out. Oh, here. Okay. Can I use this? This is fine? If you're listening to this episode, fuck you. You need to wash this. We got a beer mug here. Yeah.
Did you guys bring that? Hold this, hold this like this. No, like, hold the handle. Hang on, what the fuck's going on right now? This is... Alright, you gotta be right. I'm gonna give you something to listen to if you're listening. If you're listening to only on audio, I'm gonna give you guys something to listen to, okay? Alright, so... Where's the bottle? I'll get it, I got you. Where's the bottle? So we got a mug here, you guys see that on the live? You guys see that on the live? Yep, or on the center. Is that a real mug?
Is that how you test real mugs? You want to hand it over? No, I don't want to touch it. It's on my mug. I want to drink out of it. I picked it up so I can verify that is a very real mug. Hold it up a bit. I want you guys to... What's a magic word we can invent right now? No, no, no. Cody's going to start flying away. Cody's like...
Cody, don't say the N-word. Benjamin! No, if you get a magic word, we'll make merch out of it, guys. We'll make merch out of the magic word that they're going to say. Yep, bottom of the barrel. I got you. What's the name? What's the magic word? Is it... Maybe it's Bob. Sploojican. Oh, yeah. Sploojican. Can you say Sploojican on three? One, two, three. Sploojican. Sploojican.
Man this should have been probably the last trick
Chris said earlier, he's like, "I'll do this at the end." I know, that's the word he was talking about! He said he didn't care about the table! Yeah, he started breaking shit on the table. Alright? At least there was- Oh, there's a peace out just- *laughter*
Imagine we do this for a living Yeah, the funniest thing is so like
Okay, there's a magic trick where- IT'S SHARP! There's a magic trick where we all- It's real! We eat light bulbs, right? All of us? Uh, we're not gonna do it here, but like, the fucking thing with the light bulb is- Where did this come from?! Did you bring this cup?! No! This was on your couch! Was this one of our mugs?! Yes! Take it from your house.
Let's get him for now. I'm not ready for this. I wasn't ready for this. No, no, I'm good. It's just a little glass shard. It's fine. It's not about the size of the cut, it's about the location, right? So if it hits a vein, other than that, you're fine.
- I'm stupid. - You're the best reactor. - I'm not okay with this. - I'm not okay with this. - You're confident, you express it like you feel it. - Good I do. - Where did the bottle go?
Buddy, it's- FUCK THE CUPS! Is it- is it bottling your ass? There's gonna be beer in it next. I feel like- GAH! I think that was- that was what you expected? I was like, is there gonna be beer in it? Yo, did you hear that? He thought there was gonna be beer that's just gonna- Is there gonna be beer in the mug? That's actually really interesting. Well, that means he's an alcoholic. That's all- that's all that means, Chris. So yeah, no, we- Cody gets mad at him. He's like, "Where's the fucking beer?! I don't know why! I don't know why! My favorite!"
He just murdered your guest because you fucked up a magic trick. Okay, the bottle disappeared and you broke the mug.
Where'd the bottle go? See, Chris? Someone on this side of the table likes my trick better. No, fuck! Your trick sucked! His was better! Where'd the bottle go? That doesn't mean I'm like- He shattered a cup with his mind! Where's the bottle? Is it in your ass? I finished it with my brain! What did you say before he started the trick? You're gonna make a bottle disappear. Yeah! And appear in your ass. So tonight when you go to sleep-
Oh man. If I got the, you'll go, and you'll go, is there a pump in my ass? If we get that text, it'll be like 2am. Guys! Check your button. Yeah, but he's like, what the fuck, dude? It's a bottle of Dossus Keys. What the fuck, dude? Why is there a Corona in my ass? They got us two bottles of Shibuya. One was a surprise. No joke, no joke. It's sealed. What the fuck?
I was doing a gig at some fancy corporate thing. I'm walking around doing card tricks. And I do a card trick for this couple, right? And this guy's wife picks a card. I do a fancy trick. I pull out the card all cocky. I'm like, that's your card. She's like, that's not my card. And I'm like, oh. And I'm like, well, put it under your pillow and tomorrow it'll be your card. And she leaves. I grab her husband, find her actual card, hand it to him. I said, you know what to do.
So at night she, I guess she did. Next day I wake up to a fucking email this fucking long. And she's like, my wife's freaking out right now. She thinks someone broke into her house. She's like, someone broke into her house, violated her, wants you to sleep in. She's like, you said I know what to do and I don't think I really understood. We were miscommunicating. I put the car under her pussy, was that right? I'm like, under the pillow. He's like, you said under the pussy.
It was a lot. - All those words are easily confusing. - Yeah, so either way, I have a poor date. - He's like, I put the pillow over her face, just like I said. The card was nowhere near her face. - I'm gonna piss in the morsel. - Honey? - Just the goop on it. - Honey? Honey! Honey, it's just a magic trick! Wake up!
Oh, flux. Good luck. Where's the bottle? I- you ready? Fuck yeah! No, there was- I- I- Motherfucker, I looked in that brown bag when I was sent you. I saw two- Well, that should teach you a lesson. There was two bottles. Now there's one, and it- I don't know where- You batty as shit. I'm one step ahead of you, Batty. I'm one step ahead.
All right. Hey, you can't go look at a cheap old snake by sticking your head in a bull's ass. Don't do it. Don't do it. Or you can take the butcher's word for it. Magic is dead. Don't do it. Oh, you like magic, don't do it. Betty, you're going to go commit. This is my favorite podcast I've ever done in my life.
This is so great. Do you want to see another magic trick, Batty? No. Do I need to do push-ups? I don't want to see any more magic tricks. What the fuck? How did you say this? I feel like it's unfair that we did one for Batty and one for Cody, but none for Eli. So I'm going to do one for Eli here. Do one for Eli. Eli.
Oh, give him the Eli trick. Oh, yeah. There's an Eli trick! Yeah, there's an Eli trick. Eli, hold your hands out like this. He just writes beater on my head. Hold your permanent marker. Hold your hand. There's my magic trick. You fucking beater. I'm like... I like that trick. Are you left-handed or right-handed? Right. Right hand. Close both your hands. Close both your hands. And drop one of your hands. All right, perfect. Point your finger out like this. All right.
Where'd you get a fucking marker? Check this out. Is that the magic trick? Check this out. What does that look like? It's an X. Yeah. It's a T. Next. It's actually a cross. We're going to burn it. Time to get out. Ready to watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch.
Didn't touch him down there. No, no, I'm not ready! Ready! What is this? Why is it all the bleeped word? What is your name saying? Why is Tony floating right now? What is the N-word on his hand? I'm ascending. I'm ascending! I don't feel good. I don't feel good. No, lick it. It's real. I'm not ready for this.
You're Damon. He's Damon. What the fuck is this shit? Bottom of the barrel. God, it must be really hard to get laid as you guys when you were single. Where's the clitoris? Where's the clitoris? It's gone. Where's the clitoris?
I'll show you a magic trick later. I'll just
I legit learned magic to meet chicks when I was like 19. And then I'd go to the bar, I'd do a card check, I'd be like, hey, 10 seconds later, the girls are gone. I'm surrounded by 30 dudes being like, you must get so much pussy.
I just mean to love you guys! What a friend! The trick is disappearing women. So much pussy. Party in my house. Every inch of fucking pussy. That's all it is. For my next trick, everybody take your dick out. I'm gonna make you all disappear in pussy! Everyone surround me. Now jerk off! Alright, take one. Take one out.
I don't want to take your card. Can I look at it? Yeah, of course you can look at it. Did you force this card into my hand? No, of course not. Of course I don't know that it's the Jack of Hearts, but it's fine. Wait, is it? How the fuck did you pick that? Just to make sure that it's the only Jack of Hearts in the world. It's fine. Write your name on it.
Write your name on it. Just, just so, no, but like, you have to. I don't trust him. Go away, demon. Batty, so we know that that's the only jack of hearts like that in the entire world if you write your name on it, yes? Yeah. Okay, write your name. Okay. Big, big, so we can all see it. Big, big, big. Batty. Scribble on it. Make it scribbled. Make it scribbled. I scribbled. Is that...
Yeah, nobody's gonna see it, but it's there. Yeah. Okay. Here's your demon marker. Thank you. I'll put this back in the deck. Don't. Hold your hand out like this. No. And put your... Come here closer. I don't wanna. And put your other hand on top of it. Cover it up. I'm gonna reach in there and find your card. Why does that top card feel fucky? Did you cheat? No, look. This is magic. Look. That's not your card, is it?
It's not your card! Why does it say that? Why does it say that? It's not your card. Okay, fine. I fucked up. I messed up. But here. Close your hands. Close your hands. Close your hands. Okay, don't move. Okay, I got it. But don't move. I did mess up a little bit. So I'm gonna redeem myself. Don't move. What if I see this card disappear right now? Would that be cool? Yeah. One, two, three. Gone? Okay, no. It's not really gone.
But what if I made the entire deck you're holding on to right now completely fucking vanish? Open your hands, Batty! Wait, what? Batty, what? What the fuck? Batty! The fuck? Where'd it go? What the fuck? Batty, where did it go? I'll put it on the crony you can't find. Oh my god. What, Batty? I'm so confused.
What the fuck is this shit? Oh my god. This demon- oh, uh, uh, we have a quick sponsor. Yo, Phlox. Phlox, or whatever your name is, cut into that. Punch in on that shit.
Fuck, that's good. I want to hear your pitch first, Go. I mean, this is a really sexy pillow. Isn't it? This is the first time I've ever held a GhostBed pillow, and I'm not even joking. I'm just doing this. They're doing mattresses? They're doing mattresses now? Now they're doing mattresses? They started out as GhostPillow, and now they're GhostBed. If the mattress was anything like this, I would...
If you're looking And you have you you've probably been fucking on a fucking
solid like blind bed right now like you know your dry dirty cum stain mattress that you have at home that you it's probably hammy down from like your uncle or something right here it's got some undetermined stains on it that you you're like is that poo blood or pee i don't know yes but it's a stain regardless and this right now is the upgrade
You need to check out fucking Ghostbed, dude. If you're bringing a girl home or a guy or a there or a fucking there, say whatever you want to bring home.
Lay them down on one of these bad boys. Holy shit. It's actually super comfy. It's got a 20-year warranty. You can try it out for a hundred and one nights. 101 Arabian nights. And you can sing it back if you don't like it. No hard feelings, but I'm hard. One of our favorite parts about the Ghostbass is each mattress has cooling technology in it. So if you get hot at night, like in Texas, you guys came here and was like, it's
fucking hot. You're going to want a ghost bed because it's got cooling technology and shit. Ghost bed offers bundles so you can get everything you need. You get pillows, beds. Choose from the four mattresses and pick your bundle. So whether or not you need a mattress in a frame or you want it all, you can get the best bed for your body. Tell us more. Nod your head yes, Cody.
They're offering 30% off if you use the code unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. At ghostmed.com slash unsubscribe. Get the best bag for your buck. Damn. 30%. And free shipping, right? And free shipping. Sure. We're saving. Hang on. Do they ship to Canada?
I do want one of these. And I was just joking, but if you do come on these, it flakes right off. You wait a couple hours, you can just scratch it right off. I'm not joking, it flakes off. It flakes right off. You just scratch it, but you gotta scratch it on a dent like this, and you'll just see it flake right off. I thought personally it was a trap to catch a ghost to fuck it,
Have you ever wanted to fuck a ghost? Yeah, well, travel with GhostBed. Target's a huge, tiny, in front of a bunch of empty pillows. You're like, I'm gonna catch these fucking ghosts. Yeah. It's like, fuck, come on. It's just a bunch of guys. Just a bunch of guys in clan hoods coming in. It's amazing.
Is this real? 30%! You've been setting me up for this long? I've been baiting you since the moment I met you for that one trick. I hate magicians. Oh, bro. I have an eyeball. Remember how many conversations we had in your car? Chug that. Chug it. Chug it. Did you try to do tornado and fail? No, he did. That worked. That was a really good chug. I know how to chug Corona.
I'm gonna try something. You got an iPhone? No, hang on. I'm not done with this. I'm not done with this motherfucker, Chris. Okay, hold on. I'm done with this motherfucker. No, because he asked me. He said, what did you do? You just had a
Everybody's pocket come in your pockets, okay, because I actually What you guys don't know is I went I drove with you for like half an hour today I'm sorry. I drove. I'm sorry. I went to your house. Oh, yeah my home
But because I was doing all that I would and did it for a magic, but why I was with you That's why I jumped in your truck. So I made a prediction on I'm very good at this I know I know what card you would say from now. Okay, literally I know a card you say yeah, yeah, where is it? This is your card this is your card this your card I'm gonna put it right here. Okay, I want you to any sleight of hand
Name your card out loud. Name a card out loud. Any card. Be as random as you want. Name any card out loud. Jack of hearts. You said that earlier. No, I didn't. I didn't say that earlier. You didn't? No. I said the eight of clubs earlier. Whatever you want to say. What do you finally want to say in final choice? What does that mean? I said I wanted it to be the jack of hearts. Turn over the card then.
Never show it. Never show it. Don't show it! Always show it. No! You have to show it. Always show it. Always show it. It says "Fuck you." Unsubscribe, they deserve the best. They deserve the best. You just keep that? Do all- what are the- are they normal- what's else in the pack of cards? They all say "Fuck you." Do they all say "Fuck you"? Yeah, every single one. That's a normal deck of cards. With just a secret "Fuck you"? No, I don't have a "Fuck you" card. Here, pick one. There's no "Fuck you" card. Pick any one you want. It's no "Fuck you" card.
They're all my normal cards. I don't know why you pick it as a "fuck you" card. I don't know why it doesn't exist. What are you doing? What are you doing that, Batty? I know about forced bullshit because of him. And I've talked about it with Freddie. How about if I throw it over there where you go, "Look at it later." No! Batty, are you gonna touch that? It's gonna turn into Corona bottle. Oh my god.
Alright, who's got the iPhone here? - Hang on, Chris, are you from Bottom of the Barrel Podcast? - Bottom of the Barrel. - Do you recognize him? - I do, yeah. - Oh, damn. - I think I watch Bottom of the Barrel Podcast. - Yeah, it's a great fucking time. - Fuck me, bed pillow, let's go to Bottom of the Barrel. - Yeah, dude. No, Ghost Bed time. - Yeah, we're not even sponsored by Ghost Bed on our podcast, but we still come in them.
For free. He has an iPhone. I save 30% of comm every time I... Who has an iPhone here? You got an iPhone? Yeah. He has an iPhone. 100% Eli. He's got a passcode. Is it four numbers or six? It's four. Do you know it? No, I know it's six. I thought it was four. Is it four?
Okay, close your phone, close your phone. Okay, okay. All right, do you know it by heart?
Yes. So just to be sure, like look at your, just make sure you know it by heart. Because some people say they do and they don't. There's just like a pattern recognition. But you know the numbers individually by heart. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Wipe the screen. Totally cool. No, it's good. It's good. You told me you smell the phone to figure out the pattern. Wait, did you sniff him out? Yeah. He knows my butthole scent. All right. Oh, I thought only I could do it. Open your calculator. Open your calculator. Don't show me the phone. Hide this to yourself. No cameras. Open the calculator. Okay.
Calculator app, you got it? Clear the screen. Clear, clear, clear. You got it? All right. Put in a random six numbers. Random six numbers. Six might be hard for me. It's a lot of numbers. So many numbers. Put in a random six numbers. It's not your passcode. It's not your passcode. All right. Hit plus. All right. I want you to put in the birth year of someone close to you. Maybe not your girlfriend. Maybe not your kid. Someone completely random that I wouldn't know, but put in their birth year. All right.
Wait, birth year? Yeah, birth year. Put that in. That's four numbers, Eli. That's four. I know. I'm going to break it down for you, Eli. Eli's still struggling with English over there. Yeah, because the second you said... Okay, wait. I got it. All right, hit plus again. Do you remember the address of the house you grew up in?
No one here would know that. But do you remember the address of the house you grew up in? Yes. Put that number in. The dirt floor? Just put the address. I don't know what he's talking about. He's fucking insane. Alright, I hit plus. You got it? Now put in your passcode without showing anyone here and then hit equals after that. Put in your passcode and hit equals. That's why I asked you. Can I see that number? This is not your passcode, yeah? Okay, this is not your passcode?
That's the number he put in. That's 1,479,132, just in case anyone wants to hack you. That's seven digits. It's impossible that that's your passcode. However, Eli, this might seem like a random number, but it is personal to you because if I had done this with anyone else, it would be a different number. You agree?
So this is maybe a personal number in a clear screen here. We choose passcodes in life, Eli, for two reasons. One, because we want to get into our phones quickly. And two, because it's a personal number to us. Now, I'm not going to guess your passcode entirely, but I will get close to it. Is that okay? Okay.
All right, think of the first number. In your mind only. I want you to scream it out loud. Scream it in your mind. Eight. You got it? You piece of shit. So it's eight. Eight is the first one, right? Eight. Uh-huh. And the second one is zero, yes? Yeah. Is there a two? No, but there is a one, yes? Yeah. Eight, zero, one. But there is a one. There is no two? Eight, zero, one. Eight, zero.
I don't like that he got the first two really good. I'm like, I don't like the Sturck anymore. There's another one, though. No, it's just one one. It's something one five. Yes? Why do I have to change my number now? I literally now have to change my password! Eight zero one five, right? That's what we're dealing with now? Uh-huh.
You piece of shit. Whatever. I don't like your dick. We'll leave it there. We'll leave it at that. I'll leave it there. You're too far. We'll have to change that now.
Holy shit! No you don't! You can put assholes leaving all the notes! Leave them up! You gave away four of my six digits, now we're safe! You're completely secure, Eli! Leave it out! Leave it out! What the fuck?! Can you do that too? Yeah, of course! Every magician can. No you can't. Check your ass. There's a Corona bottle in your ass! In the bag! There's no way out of that! Your passcode's in there! Your bag is stumbling dirty! Your phone's unlocked in your butthole!
- Chris has a style of magic I don't do. He will know what card you're taking. - I'll do something like this. - He does the mind shit, I do the mind shit. - Cody, I want you to take any card you like. - Don't, pick the one he wants. He's gonna do it. - You want that one or you wanna change it? You can put it back if you want. You want that one? Have a look at it, show it to everyone. Don't show me. - Oh no, Cody! - Did you say fuck you? - Oh no! - You got it? - Yeah, I got it. - Put it back in the deck. - Wait, did you show the camera? - You show the camera?
Is that still the one? Yeah. We're gonna shuffle this up. Under the sound effects. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Okay, watch. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Here's what we're gonna do. Shuffle tones or bleeps. Do you believe in intuition? Do you believe that we have intuition? No, you're a wizard. Okay, but intuition does exist. A grand wizard. A grand wizard. You are a wizard. I am a grand wizard.
Intuition does exist. Where are the black people? Intuition does exist and it is a feeling. It is something you feel deep inside. It's something that you can't explain. It's just something that happens that you're like a gut feeling. Don't snap ever again. Now we need you to channel into that gut feeling for this trick to work.
Okay, now I've shuffled the deck and I go, I'll shuffle it again. It doesn't matter where your card is because this has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with sleight of hand, but it has everything to do you and your intuition. So what you're going to do is I'm new. I want you to hold the card. Don't hold them. And I want you to deal the cards down one at a time from the top. Yep. Keep doing it. Stop it. And whenever, keep going, keep going. And whenever you want to stop,
Cody, whenever you want to stop, you just say stop. Whenever you want. I say stop and then I stop. Yes, you stop whenever you want. Now, do you want this card or this card, Cody? This card. Right here? So we're going to leave that there. Cody, you chose a card. I have no idea what that card is. Only they know and you guys know what that card is. I'm so uncomfortable. I just wanted you to solve puzzles. Cody, you dealt the cards yourself. Yes? Yeah.
- For the first time, Cody, what was the card that you chose? The Queen of Hearts. How fucking amazing would your intuition be if you stopped exactly, exactly at the Queen of Hearts? - Pretty good, huh? - Cody? - Yeah. - I don't want to touch the card. - Yeah, that one too. - I'm gonna have you do that. - Holy fuck, bro. Stop it. - What the fuck is this demon magic? - I don't... - That's fucking rad. - Okay.
Okay, but like I hate it. I'm so much. Don't put it back. No. Put it in your pocket. Let's take a shot. Yeah. Shots. Fucking demons. To respect the magic. We're dead women. There's already a shot. You're good. I poured many. Okay. Cody, do you want one? What's in your pocket? What else do you have in your pocket?
Oh, we got to measure. I'll measure these. No, but what else do you have in your pot? I don't trust you. Expired plane ticket.
You have any questions about magic that you'd like to ask him? Yeah! Fuck you! How did you? That's more than a shot. Yeah, I'll take that one. I'll do the double. As they say in Braveheart, a quinoa goes around the stadium. Cody thought the trick was so good, he had to knock one off real quick. He was like, I'm still gonna come. Chris, I am uncomfortable. I'm actually surprised you're doing really good magic today. Thank you. Does he not normally do good magic?
Uh, no no. It's like your YouTube channel. It's usually not that good. It's usually- This is magic! This is magic! It's like my channel! Get off! It's usually- It's usually 95 takes and then it works. But today, somehow, by some- There's glass on his feet!
How did you shatter the cup? Did you put the shattered glass in his butt? Normally all that takes a hundred takes, but today we just got lucky and everything worked out. I don't believe you and that's the problem. I don't know what to believe right now. That's making it hard because I'm already kind of a fucking idiot. I'm not a smart man. I know that. No one accused you of that. No one ever accused you of being a smart man. No.
No one's like, "Baddie's the worst." Okay, can you fucking... Yes. ...boost ring it? Yep. And make it come back to yourself? Yep. First try. First try? Baddie, give him the go-kart. I don't wanna do it. I can do one of these. Oh, he's way better. Uh, it's just not the one. Okay, he's not as good. Alright, ready? I've got it! Ready for the lens? The middle one?
Right there, right on the- Like you fucking- I'm gonna make that card disappear. Guys, you can't see it on camera, it's stuck in the wall. He's fucking Gambit over here. He killed four people. He's a pedophile. Cheers. Gambit. He can see- Hey boys! He can see Kano's naked and throw a shot. Hey boys. Hey buddy. What a fucking try. Cheers! Unsubscribe! This is one of the best podcasts I've ever been on in my life. 100%. This is so much fun. You guys are awesome. I'm uncomfortable. I love you guys. Cheers. You guys are fucking legends. Like, subscribe.
Whoa. You're ready to sound makes him sorry. Pretty good. I didn't drink. It's not good. Did you come in the bathroom? Yeah, it was pretty quick. I got it. Like, oh man, it was the queen of hearts. He did it. You were already like ripping yourself. You're like, I'm edging. I'm edging. I've been edging for 45 minutes. You guys edging the entire time. He had to just go.
You guys ever do live events? Anything? Not yet. We're going to be hopefully doing one soon. You ever get that feeling of being on stage, though, and performing? Magic tricks are obviously an outlier experience, but performing something is a weird thing where you're like, do you ever have that at all? And even individually, you ever put yourself out there where you're like, it's got to go well.
Why do you have every pack of cards? I don't even fuck Twitch is like the most live experience. I think Big twitch streamer also fucking like what the guys do it's Big events, it's always like Twitch gone you have a fucking pain. Yeah. No, which one you on?
- Just muted, Maddox. - It's Eli, it's good to turn him down. A bunch of us are gonna be at TwitchCon in San Diego, whether you're at TwitchCon or just at the bars around TwitchCon in San Diego. I myself, from two till 3:30, will have an actual meet and greet event in San Diego. - At TwitchCon, at TwitchCon. - Yeah, no, that's a big deal. There's not a lot of those going on right now, so I'm pretty excited about it. So if you wanna get in line and wait for me to sign your titties, I'll do it!
Or penis. We've got dicks, yeah. I mean, I'll sign a dick. Maybe not a tit, but I'll sign a shaft. I'll sign an upper shaft once. Batting up the shaft looks good. Bottom shaft. The guy was asleep and he didn't know I was there, but I signed it. I mean, as long as you're doing it, you're in it. How many homeless guys is that?
I've signed so many dicks in my time. You're welcome. Oh yeah, we have to see if your mouth can fit in my mouth. Can you dethrone that? No, I don't think so. Have you seen this magic trick? Where'd the mango go? Oh, you don't even know. I forgot you don't know anything about me. Christmas. Wow!
- This is what I'm known for! Check me out on LWF!
100% I'm known for swallowing a 60 inch balloon. Oh, you didn't see this? Why would I Google that? No, hold on. Why would I Google a guy who can swallow a 60 inch balloon? You guys think I'm fucking Chris's sidekick. No, no, no, no. No, I think you're the main kick. He's not fucking my sidekick at all. He's the main piece. Is he fucking you? I'm not going to swallow the balloon here. That's too much.
Do you have a balloon in your pocket? Do you have a balloon in your pocket? Brace, do you have a balloon in your car? Go get it! You have a balloon in the car! Get the balloon! Yes. If I have it, I'll do it. I don't know. I'll get the Phantom. You know you have one! Don't say that! Don't you love how he set this up? Wait, you guys don't know I'm known for swallowing the balloon? It's in my car. I'll be right back. I don't know if it's there. We'll see. This is... Fucking loser. Yeah!
He's like, "Maybe you're all lucky enough to see the Great West Barker swallow a balloon." "Who knows? It's in my car though." You've never googled who can swallow 60 inch balloons before? Fucking loser. Get back here. I'm still betrayed after the bag incident with the Corona bottle. I'm more sad he does this with his butthole, not his mouth.
It's an amazing talent. I can swallow it. He didn't say we're going to swallow it. Yeah, he's just like his body's like, all right, look, I'm going to, while he does that, while he does that, look, Chris is horrified. He sits in on his chair. Chris is like, watch this. He's blowing it up. And Chris is like, okay, guys, ready? He just sits down.
I know I don't watch that video, sir. I'll never see it again! It's gone forever. I legitimately don't have one, so... Alright, I'll do one. I'll do one. So, uh, bottom of the barrel. Alright, look. I don't have one. I'm gonna shuffle a deck of cards here. I don't believe you. Oh, Chris, I can do it. I'll show you. You're like, "They're all shuffled." No, you're not. You're a magician. Everything you do is BULLSHIT! Are they not shuffled? Aren't- That one. Are they not shuffled? Yes. They're shuffled. Okay.
I want you to name any card. Wait, you name any card. You name any card. Two of spades. Two of spades. Two of spades. All right.
Here's the fucked up part two spades don't look at me. What's your full name? No We'll bleep it Kyle Batty no say your name. Yes, we'll believe what fine if you want to do baddie Kyle Batty Kyle Batty How do you spell it? K Y le ba d die
- You can read it. - Take this deck of cards. Look, look, I'm not touching it. Take this deck of cards. Take it. Take it, I'm not touching it. Don't touch it, Wes. Take the deck of cards. - I'm trying not to. - All right. I want you, card for card, to spell your name. You said what card? - Two of spades? - Yeah. - I want you to spell your name, card for card, turn and face up. - How do I spell? - K-Y, let's go. - Okay.
Jelly. There you go. Y. Jelly. L. B. A. D. D. Y. Now don't move, don't move. Kyle Batty. Don't, no. It, it couldn't, you couldn't have named any card whatsoever. Yeah. I want you to show that card to the camera. I don't want to show it. Show it. I don't. I didn't touch that deck. Show the, show the camera. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna look. Sorry. I was very excited. I'm gonna.
I didn't know that trick. I'm sorry I got excited. I know, the magician that doesn't know. He's like, holy shit! You're the hype man? I feel bad. I feel bad. That's very hard to do and I didn't think you had it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, bro.
I can't not I couldn't leave me for two days. I can never do that a week. I won't do that How did you do that? I don't know my comm is now in your pants check your pocket I
You wait till back
Am I allowed to ask that? Okay, okay. Everyone initially instinctively wants to know how. But first, there's two things. One, you don't really want to know. You don't. I did. Second of all, I can tell you the one thing I can tell you is that that is about 12 years of my life.
That's what I can tell you. You spent 12 years making that work. I can. I'm a slow learner. Three for most. He's in class with Ryan. For you to name a card. Hey, that's hard to be there. That's your answer. I don't know.
Some people joined the army and some people got good at dumb shit. No, but dumb shit won out of the internet. You're right. And even as good as Chris is at this shit, all of a sudden... Give him back the deck. Cody, go Cody. Put him under the table. Alright, cut the deck anywhere in half you like. Anywhere.
Doesn't have to be in half, but just cut it and put the bottom of the top. You did it? Keep it under. Keep it under. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Cut again? Yeah. All right, cool. You want to cut again? Yes. Cut again? Cody's magically holding his penis. Take the top card. Sit on it. Don't look at it. Sit on it. Don't look at it. Oh, that's sexy ass. All right. At this point, none of us have any idea of what your card is. Yes? What did you just do? Your ball hole nose. What did you just do?
He just flicked the cards. I hate it. I hate when magicians flick the cards. What does that happen? It's called a riffle shuffle. I think. I don't know. It's still under my butt. Is it? It's under your butt? I don't know what the card is. No one knows what the card is. No one believes in the Scrownaxist. There's a shuffle deck of cards.
You cut how many times three times do you like shuffle? You like shuffle the deck under the table Yeah, and you took a card and you place it under and there's no way that either of us could know what that card is Right. There's no way no way. Is it black or red red? Is it hearts or diamonds? Diamonds, okay Get quickly at the top your head name a number between 0 and 13 go. Yeah close. Oh
Why is it close? Because it was the nine of diamonds. Is your butthole a nine? What the fuck, bro? Can you control the dude?
He has the dune sandworm in his powers. Your butthole came out, look. Related to Chris. Fetid to him. He has the spice. He's had the spice. Look, he's fucking a demon. We burned Chris. Chris can control everything but the algorithm. I mean, I don't know. His channel seems so funny. No, no, no. Please sub to Bob and Beryl. Dude, you want to see something? Watch this.
Bottom of the barrel podcast. This is my magical spell. Bottom of the barrel podcast. Yeah. Check it out on YouTube. Bottom of the barrel podcast. Now watch me control the algorithm on a bottom of the barrel. It's not working. That's so weird. Are we past 34 minutes? God damn it. We're good. Pretty good, right?
And thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast today. As always, we have Eli Double Dap Donut Operator. We have Chris and Wes. Can you guys, Chris, real quick, where are you at? Bottom of the barrel. No, where else, Chris? Chris Ramsey, check me out. Wes Barker, stunt magician. Don't be confused with stud magician.
They'll never be confused. Nobody gets it. Please go check our new friends out and we'll see you all on the after show. Subscribe.
