63 - Crossing the Line ft. Brandon Herrera
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It's been so long! Yeah, we forget to do that. What the f*** are these? Are they actually frozen? Oh, they're not at all. Oh, they didn't- They're not frozen?! They're not frozen at all. This is bullsh*t. We gotta put them back in the freezer. Wait, Batty is your- Or it's just like 110 here in Texas, so they might have just like- No, it's Batty's house. Batty's freezer is the equivalent to this room. IT'S JUST PROBLEM!

So you guys need a studio and an appliance budget. Silverware. We'll just get a fridge. We'll just get the baseline. Somebody was like, every episode they said they're getting a studio, they're still at Batty's Sauna? Yeah. Batty's Sauna. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Donut.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. Come on.

And that's where the... you... come... that is... Come subscribe! What is this? We're trying... what are we doing? What is this? Oh yeah, you open it... Oh! Wait, no, Brandon opens that now. This is why you're not a real host yet. I was trying to like fucking... I'm the hide man. I just make you guys fight. Ow, what?

We grant you a seat at the table, but we do not give you the rank of co-host. Holy shit. I'm sorry. It's not fair. Me and Brandon aren't fighting, Internet. Yeah, totally not.

You guys are seeing it here. We got drama going. Oh shit! I'm the fucking idiot! I'm just an early adopter. Punch him in the face, Brandon! We just start fighting. We just beat the shit out of each other. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Ding! Hi everyone! We got Master Roshi here. Unsubscribe Podcasts here. We got Master Roshi.

We got Eli, we got Brandon Herrera, he's back for uh, we're getting cancelled episode 4 now, right? Is it 4? Yeah, something like that. If at first you don't succeed, have me back on again. We're like, guys, we still gotta do this goddamn podcast, we might as well have Brandon back on again, so he gets cancelled. God damn it, I thought we got fired last week! Now we're trying to get fired! We talked about Jesus and no one said anything! These guys have been trying to get cancelled for several episodes, so it's kind of like, by Brandon. Sex.

I love you boys. Sex.

Sex with Brandon. I don't know. What do you we can't say said it louder you yelled it? We'll fast forward this segment. We won't can't say what? We're trying to go out, but we want to make sure if three of us go It just wouldn't be fair to not let you come with us. He's pulling Brandon down with it Like you always are making the joke like I'm bringing you guys involuntary jihad

We might have got one round of shots of bot force at today's. Yeah, shout out to that guy, by the way. Mustache man from somewhere. He was a cop. Oh, was he? Yeah, he definitely doesn't give a warning. He was so courteous that I didn't quite understand what he was getting at right off the bat. He just kind of showed up with booze. I thought he worked at the restaurant. And I'm like, uh, what? What?

That was the second time he came over after you got there. He came over the first time, but he stayed like 20 feet away and he was looking at Brandon. We didn't see him, but he was going like making a camera signal. I kind of figured what he was getting at, but I wasn't like, sure, sure. I'm like, I don't want to be that guy. Like what? Can I help you, sir? We turn into NPCs. Greetings. Well, hello. Welcome to Mashed.

God damn. We're not here every day. He gave us moonshine shots. That was cool. He's a cop out of...

What do you say? Lubbock? Texas. Oh, I don't want to dox him anyways. Yeah, it's probably me. He's from Texas. He was cool. Here's his home address. Laredo. I don't want to dox him, but Laredo, Texas. Is he the only cop in Laredo, Texas? He's from sex. With Brandon.

Oh, man. Fluck is already going overtime. Going overtime working on this one. He just sees you pop up. God damn it. Brandon's in this episode. I have so much more work to do now. I literally think that with the second you set down everything, like, oh, god damn it. If I'm editing this, I'm going to get this cut key ready to go. The editors are the real heroes. Fluck, this is for you. Batty didn't steal you. Just remember that, Fluck.

What? I spaced out for a minute. I was there. You guys started talking about the help and I just... Help? Oh, no. Sorry, AJ. The help. Yeah, my help is being real fucky this week, guys. You only edited 15 videos for me. Piece of shit. Piece of fucking shit. Dude, everyone went on vacations and traveling. Yeah, dude, we were all gone this week. Yeah. What were you guys doing? Ha ha.

Who goes first? Them, because I'm not. Why not? Because I didn't do anything. I just left Texas. But you did! That baddie bought magic cards. I did. He was late to brunch because he was- So the king of not picking up what he's putting down, Eli Doubletap, ladies and gentlemen. "Baddie, what'd you do though?" Like, "What?" Eli's like, "I'm waiting." Nobody else is gonna know why this is funny. Camera, slowly pushing to baddie.

Add clock sound ticking. Cody, what did you do this weekend? I went to... Patty, what did you do this weekend? I went to a porn convention. I did. I sure did.

I just get like walked in for free cuz the mustache I got a press pass and get a walk in for free Yeah, dude, okay, that's cool look out, but what was the to get that press pass yeah, okay? So I thought the press pass was just a film I didn't know it'd get me in for free so I went ahead and bought other passes and the cheapest passes they had were the swinger passes So you have to be a couple and since I was there didn't know the press pass would get you in and

Yeah, I thought you had to have like paid passes plus like I thought that just allowed you to shoot there. I didn't know it got you into the convention. So I bought regular passes regular by that. I mean, your alibi is starting to fall apart for this next bit. Yeah, real quick. All right. I'm a furry swinger.

Yeah, so it was for a video on Heather's channel. We needed like a little ticker across the bottom. Breaking news. Donut operator admits to being furry swinger. I was like, yeah, you're a swinger, but now you're a furry too? Didn't know about that, Bart. That's not great. Yo, the Bad Dragon booth was rad.

Yeah. Did you talk to him about sponsoring the podcast? No, I should have. No, we have the contact information for the owner and stuff. Oh my god, yes. I would love to know what the owner looks like. It's going to be so much different when we talk about dragons now. Oh, man. Red dragon. Blue dragon. We have our own. They do have the goo dragons there.

Yeah. It's like, it's like come lube dragon tails, dragon tails. Oh no. We back to the boy scout conversation. Yeah.

No, I was fucking it was rad though man Heather and I just walked around for two days and like talked to porn stars and stuff and it was for a video on her channel where she's she's going on interviewing these people it was weird Oh my god, the one text you sent us the thing the thing it well Heather told me I had to say she not it But they typically like that. Yeah. Well, it was we were we we had we were walking to the convention and it walked out in front of us with its handler and

And, uh, and I was like, fuck dude, who brings their child to something like this? But it's proportionate, like a person, but it's got a big head. And I was like, that's a toddler who brings their toddler in a bikini to things like this. And I was like, no, no, no. I'm about to go talk to talk to this award. You can't use on Reddit anymore. Like I'm calling the police right now, but nah, man, it was 30 years old. And this is weird.

It's definitely a way for a tiny person. Yeah, it's definitely way for dudes Like legally jerk off to a toddler but I was like I just Cody shared the IG and I was like I feel like we got put on a list Uncomfortable we were all like what the fuck cuz the voice does not help Voice what fuck yeah, it's a child's voice. Oh

But it's like three foot tall. My favorite part of this entire conversation, like this text thread, is how he starts out and you can tell we're all drinking. He's like, well, Heather keeps getting mad because I keep calling it an it. But it's disgusting. It is not right. It makes me sick. That made me super uncomfortable, man. That is super uncomfortable. Because you know the pedos there, that's...

It's legalized. It's, yeah. Pedophilia. Oh, this episode's getting age restricted so fast. It's been 11 minutes. I'm sorry you're just pussies and words hurt you, but you know. Yeah. You're fucking ancestors. That's fucking weird, man. Well, that's what I said. I was like, imagine trying to bring that home and be like, this is my date. You jumped right there. Just right to that. That's in the text thread. I was like, how the fuck do you explain you dating this individual? I was like, how the fuck?

the fuck do you bring this individual around your friends and be like this is my girlfriend your friends are gonna be like you're a fucking pedophile exactly no she was up on stage humping people and i'm watching and i'm like it's just it's fucking disgusting dude kill it and i know oh god damn i know she can't help like how she was born but it was just like it's you can do what you do with it

Yeah, it was odd, man. It was uncomfortable. Betty, the voice is that of a child. Dude, she has a child's voice, too. And it was just... Hey, Betty. What are you doing? What the fuck is wrong with you? Brand is uncomfortable. Brand is uncomfortable. No, I shot the fucking horn. I think we might be approaching what I think most people would call a line. I mean,

That's new to me. Why would you do that? What is this feeling? Oh, man. I hated it so much. Why did you do it? You didn't look like it. It was like I didn't talk to you guys the entire time I was there except for that because I was like, guys, I need you to be uncomfortable with me. This is just... You sent a couple of flashbangs into that text. Oh, yeah. In case I don't survive banana. In case I don't survive banana. Exactly.

Oh my god, stop looking at her on fucking Instagram not I'm just like why was I in this text? Aren't you sending the weird people things to me?

Thought it was in it to Blake's group. Sorry. Oh, it's okay. My bad. It's fine You didn't see the banana girls no I don't want to see the banana girls I'm glad that's a running thing. Oh, no, they're banana girls they

That's like a fucking topographical map. God, it looks like an orange going bad. With a banana on top of it. You guys want to talk about video games? We're talking about asses of a human. Yeah, that's not great. Supplementary imagery would be probably really... That's the thing you gotta think about. Same species. As opposed...

Going back in the bad dragon stuff. I think so. I don't know what you're asking him or you're saying I

Don't know oh wait What'd you do? Okay segments is better. Yes. I was at a porn convention I was actually up in I was in Indiana with all of my shop boys We we call it Lake boat with you know one of one of my guys has a lake house or his parents have a lake house in Lake Syracuse so last two years like we just take a week off and go fuck off and

The AKG crew, as we described it that weekend, was belligerent and numerous.

That's a good weekend. A lot of fun. Just hanging out with the boys. Making people have fun. I want to know about going back to the corn convention. What are the people like? We are way fucking past that. We are so past corn at this point. No, we're going to go back and Flugg is redoing all those words he's not. It's exactly how you would think. People are at a convention like that who come to meet the stars. I don't see the...

Yeah. Is it open to the public? Like anybody can just buy tickets? That has to be the creepiest dudes showing up sometimes. Like,

Why did I say sometimes? That has to be so. So like Brazzers was there because they're based out of Miami. And the line was like all the way through the convention center just to go talk to these busted ass bitches. But they were waiting for fucking hours just to get a picture with these nasty ass girls. Who do you share that on your Facebook? Like you're like, man, I'm it.

Busted bitch won this weekend. Nana gonna like that one. I'm so proud of you, Kevin. Good job. What do you say to those people, too? Like,

I have put so many leaders have come into a sock watching your videos like what the fuck do you say? Thanks, you're like wow you give me the best J. Oh sesh I've ever had like what that I don't care about. Yeah, what are the combos?

And pictures, oh god. You have to shake their hand. That's the thing. So people recognize me there more than I've ever been recognized anywhere else. What's that say? I know, right? They're like, Donut, what are you doing here? I'm like, no. You turn your swinger badge around. I'm here as me.

Oh, Jesus, man. Yeah, but like you're saying, they shake my hand and I'm like, hand sanitizer, like right when I walk away. I don't know what you guys are doing with those hands. You just have like a blue glove. Don't shake hands on a pointy glove. Waiting in line. It was different. I'm definitely going to go back.

You said you had fun. Oh, dude, there's one in New Jersey. Like Riley Reed's going to be at the one in New Jersey. So, and Charlie classic is going to be there. Charlie's going to be there. When is this? So like we thought going to the Miami one was going to be the best one because who the fuck wants to go to New Jersey, but it turns out because New Jersey doesn't have anything more people go to it. So all the big porn girls go there. Yeah. Amazing. No, nothing really happens in the state equivalent of three mile Island. Yeah. Yeah.

We got to go to the New Jersey one, man. It was fun. It was the funnest convention I've been to in years. I know we went to PAX together. See, everybody's like, you go to these gun conventions. They're not really all that enjoyable for us. No. The porn convention, though, dude, the people watching was fucking awesome. And yeah, of course, there's just titties everywhere, so it was really cool. Titties! I don't want to be controversial or anything, but I'm kind of a fan of titties. Yeah, titties are kind of cool. They're kind of neat.

Yeah, right? She sucks dick and that's gay. Batty's like, "Goddamn." Women are gay, bro. We can talk about Muslims again, Batty. I'm laughing, fucker! We're the worst fucking people I have ever met. Let's spin the target wheels! We need a target wheel! And it's Erems today.

We have Arab back on the podcast, dude. He was fun. He's cool. He's in Europe this week. He's got the best fucking job ever, dude. What? What the fuck?

Oh, man. No, he's in a different country like every week, man. He just I can't keep up with his travel. It's constant like everywhere. He was just in Amsterdam for TwitchCon. I would go insane with that. Like maybe at his age, I would have loved it. But like my age, like traveling and never being home. I'm like, how old is he? Like my age, right? Yeah. That's a lot of travel, though. I don't even think I'd enjoy it. Yeah, that's a

His content it works because it's his style of content you would be like I can't make a video right I can't make a video most of places it goes Cannot you can't make videos at all, but it would be a blast. I just couldn't do that lifestyle anymore I'm like now you arranged. Oh, I don't know if I can make that joke. Oh, well that when he caught himself I just hope luck is doing I'm like that's like does a good time. I like I

Fucking weird talking about that. It's a great moral compass, you know? Luck will get rid of it. We forget everything. I forgot we were talking about tying dick knots until people came into the chat and were like, man, Eli's a pro dick knot tie. I was like, what are you talking about? I didn't know. You kind of harped on that one for a while. You were stuck on that. Were you in that group chat? I don't know.

I was showing him like how it's actually done because it is it's called the dog time He sent us the Wikipedia of it and I was like there's a real dude's dick in there I was like Eli you made this up I was in there making a wiki What's the English term? The dog time Yeah it's my penis Eli's like I'll show them Eli your face is in the photo You know you made this Like this

This was never a thing, Eli. That's your dick. See your hand tattoos. Fluck three of Eli's dick up on screen. You put in champion dick tire, Eli Cuevas.

Eli, you weren't a gladiator back in fucking before Jesus Christ died. Lord have mercy. In Kenneth's book of world records, like, best dick-knot tire. Like, you were the only one. You were the only one ever. Still got the best. Fucking making dude's foreskin look like the fucking end of a hot dog. Just twist up. Oh, it's like a cartoon sausage. It's like... Looks like a fucking balloon knot at the end of the dick. And it does...

Just hated now that I think about that some dude went in for that wiki and was like this is how you do this proper and literally took a picture man is That is LARPing on a level that I can't get behind. Well. I didn't realize there's two techniques for it You you get the shaft under we're not talking about this for a second podcast Nobody gives a fuck about this history. This is a historian podcast

He's like, God damn it, this is our heritage. Just put the genre of podcast education and history. Did female gladiators have something? There weren't any. Yeah, I think they just got raped. I guarantee sometimes they were. Let these bitches cut each other? Yeah, that's going to happen back in the day. All right, this one I will hold my tongue. In the movie Gladiator, there were female gladiators. Were there? Oh, yeah. The one riding the chariot. The black chick with the long hair. Yep.

she got cut in half by the uh what that's when the cherry came back around and russell she was like she was like i thought she was bald she pulled this is too very no dude that was the only female the fighter in that entire movie that was it yeah you're actually right she was the one right you don't remember that she went i haven't seen gladiator in like seven years time to catch up

Saw in theaters first day released months ago. I love it. I'd never seen it like all the way through Oh, why I sat down like that a dedicated like Russell Crowe's the man dude pretty dope you see him in the new Thor No, no, it's him until like like minutes into the conversation. He did his last He did his lap. We don't say anything bad. He did the trailers like you yeah, okay, okay, so

He did his last role from that like angry trucker or driver movie where he has road rage and then did not lose that weight. No, no, he did not. He plays like Zeus. Oh, no shit. But like Zeus let himself like Zeus went through three divorces. Yeah. This is who has an alcohol problem. Like us.

OMG, he's literally me. You haven't watched a new Thor job? No, I haven't. My bad about the seats again. Oh my god, yeah, we forgot. I saw that. You guys were like, we're in the theaters. I just watched eight cubic feet of Chris Hemsworth's ass.

That was my guess. When I was looking at, so we got the VIP thing here in San Antonio where you actually get recliners and they put you in a booth and a waitress comes around and they bring you booze while you're watching it. It's super cool. But I thought I was buying the ones at the back of the theater when I was clicking the thing, but I actually bought the ones at the front of the theater and the front ones aren't recliners. It's just a bed.

You lay there by the screen. Yeah, the screen's fucking eight feet from you. We were at the fucking top looking for it. I was like, Cody, where's our seats? He's like, it's somewhere. I was like, all these seats are taken.

Oh, we're row one. Cody, it is confusing though. - When you open it, no it's not, it says screen. - No, okay. - It says fucking screen. - Thank you Brandon. - I almost fucked it up the first time I did it. Like I understand there's like a map legend to it and I understand that I didn't fucking read that. - I didn't either. - It's not intuitive, it's like a push pull door.

This is Cody watching YouTube videos. This is what it felt like. This is dope. I was just like, it's so close. It's just Thor's thigh in my eye. It was fucking... We got used to it though. Wow, I can't wait to watch Dune. I got the picture from the fucking subreddit picture. Did y'all see that? No, which one? Did I not send that? Someone like Microsoft painted Dune.

I've got it big unsubscribe subreddit right now y'all are fucking wild We said that to a mere one of just the group or whatever oh shit But yeah, we were up close and personal dude when you look at the app, okay? Never fuck that I think the back cuz you picked you do a picture and

You think the back is the top, right? It's the screen! I'm sorry! I have to do the eye! It does, it does have to be the eye. You know what, fuck y'all. I'm never doing this shit again. Here I try to do a good thing. Fuck you guys. Matt is like, I hate to agree with Eli. I don't like your room. I really don't. But it's the screen!

Fucking Dave over here, alright? I don't know what cat. Just like, ha! Just spearing Batty in the side now.

But it was good! Like if you haven't watched it we won't ruin it. I'm gonna go see it hopefully tomorrow, tonight. I'm just gonna go see it. I need to see it. It's not Ragnarok. I'm such a Marvel fucking... No, no. Ragnarok's better. But still, it was fun. Like, it went really like... Yeah. It went quick. They have really good jokes. Running jokes. Probably say maybe second favorite Thor movie. Yeah, second favorite. Which is not saying a lot because the other two are not great. Isn't there three? There's four. Four.

You have Thor 1, then Thor Dark World. Dark World was the bad. I thought there was a third one. And then they switched it to Ragnarok. Ragnarok was 3? Yeah, that's the new Rider. I thought there was a fourth one. This is the fourth one. I thought Ragnarok was the fourth one. I thought there was another one in there. I don't think so. It was fun. Yeah, it was fun. That was good, especially with the drinks and everything else. Oh, yeah. Dude, that new Avatar looks stupid as fuck, though. The way of...

I haven't watched any new trailers before. The trailer was before. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. He's like got a little little man pet. Like the big blue thing does. Like what the fuck? It's not an it. Stop calling it an it. Okay, Heather. It's a person. Fine. Your pet has a social security number. The handler.

Jesus. 13th Amendment has entered the chat. God damn. I can't do it. Oh, God. Oh, wait, Batty, are the mics working? Or am I on the wrong mic? Jack, what does your mic say? Look at the base of your mic. It's the same thing that all of ours say. No, the base. Not the bottom. Did it say Eli on it? Where the fuck would it say Eli?

Why are you looking at the bottom of the mic? Cause that's what you said to fucking do. I said the base, not the bottom. This is the base! This dude right now, hold on, hold on, hold on. This dude right now is saying, look at the base. Brandon, can you confirm what color is this base right here? It's black. It's black. What marker color did Matty use? This man used a black Sharpie. On a black. And it's like, look at the base. Stealth.

I was like, what the fuck's this dude talking about? It's right there. I know they're all there. Yeah, fuck you, baddie. That was rude. I didn't see the word screen. Oh, there we go. That's all the mics where you've been screeching like an idiot the whole fucking podcast. You opened the podcast going...

I'm gonna have to get like a fucking like one earbud. Jesus, son. You're shooting here anyways. You're fine. No, it's really not. That was my good ear. Welcome back, tinnitus. I love that we were out on the lake in Indiana and just like sitting at the edge of the dock and like it's totally fucking quiet. And I'm like, wow, this is awful. I was sitting on the couch the other day and I'm just sitting there and all of a sudden I was like, I heard something weird. I'm like, boo!

Just fucking... You don't just flare up. It'll just come out of nowhere. Somebody just hits you with it. Yeah, holy shit. I was in the airport the other day, and there was a really loud refrigerator in front of me at the bar, and it turned off, and then my tinnitus decided it wanted... It took over. It was completely quiet. It just...

But do you ever get it like loud to the like point where it's like almost painful? Yeah, you're fucked up Clearing implants or whatever. I don't know make my no fucking brain. Stop fucking breaking We never use those in gun. I didn't wear ear Pro in Iraq weird. I

Because they had those plungers, you know. Oh, the 3M. You should call a lawsuit. The lawsuit ones, yeah. And you're like, you're not going to put those in going to missions because then you can't carry them. Yeah, so it's like, oh, just go open. So you're just running around just like...

In firefights it would always afterwards like huh? Yeah, uh? Nobody bothered to do the fucking math where they were like, okay So what's detrimental to human hearing like above like a hundred decibels or something 110? Yeah, hun went in like wow Okay, well howitzer is 150 the 3m has a decibel reduction of 25. It's good Well, I didn't even cuz that fourth tour I

What are those over your Peltor's contacts? Yeah, like Peltor's were just 2005 frame. Like when those are just getting introduced. So is the outside going to it? High pitch sounds. It brings those down. Yeah, it dissipates those. So the first time I put on Peltor's when we were like fire, I was like up on top of the hatch and I'm just like on the saw.

I was like because we were in a bad tick and then they were like I hear like I feel pissed like someone hitting the bottom on the like like what what fucking what and like they're shooting at you I was like what are you talking about

Big change! I was like, because it killed that fucking snap so I had no idea I was getting shot at. Holy shit. Yeah. God damn. It was fun to ask. Yay. Iraq. PTSD. That is a great ad for fucking, like, Peltor. So good you won't know you're being shot.

That's like one of those few I wish was on recording to see the fear in my face. I'm like, this is... This and then hearing like... I'm like...

And immediately watching that dude get out of the hatch instantly. He's like, ah. Bro, I can immediately hear the fucking mall ninja bullshit AR15.com thread that's happening because of this. They're like, well, the reason I don't wear your ear pro anymore is because you won't be able to tell when you're being shot at. So I just, I don't wear ear pro at all because that's not tactical. I want to hear everything in my environment. After three rounds, it's like, beep! Yeah, bro. I'm not sure anything happens.

I know it's movies and doesn't matter best one thing that triggers me at every fucking movie when there's some kind of shooting and after the like Yeah, man. We gotta be quiet. Like how can you hear that cock down? They fucking nailed? No, yeah, they do opens up with the 240 Like you ever just accidentally left your ear pro off shooting and you fire four rounds you're like, oh

God and then growing up when we did it was when dads didn't use ear pro for their kids Oh, yeah shooting guys earmuffs like this isn't gonna work. What up some paper towels just put it in your ear man It's yeah, my grandpa would like take the casings and stick them in my ear your family was way better I remember going home and just hearing like Two days of that I'm like

Shootin's weird, guys. I don't like that. I was like, man, I hate, like, the day after shooting. My dad just didn't know about ear pro, apparently, for his kids growing up. He's like, nah. So, for those of you in Europe or whatever shithole country you're from where they don't allow you to own guns, when you shoot a gun unsuppressed with no ear pro, it is like...

High-impact sexual violence on your eardrum. Not the good kind. No, not the good kind. There is a good kind. There's definitely a good kind. There's a great kind, but... The dude coming in that girl's ear and her losing color. That was oddly specific. What? This is the good kind. That's a great segue. I dated a chick in high school who...

Her mom was deaf in one ear because her college boyfriend liked to blow in her ear with his dick.

And she got so many, that was his kink, and she got so many ear infections, she lost hearing in one of her ears. Imagine trying to explain that to your parents. I would have made up for her story. I stabbed myself in the ear with a pencil. I was born like this, you know, not a dude busted in my ear 20 times. Why would you tell your daughter? You know, this is probably the sluttiest girl I ever dated in high school. Mom, why are you deaf? Well, honey.

- You remember Steve? - Yeah. - Oh, Google Steve. - I hate your girl voice so much. - I'm so uncomfortable now. - Earload champion, 1994. - There I was. - Oh God. - Getting pinned the gold medal. - Just getting ear loads. - Q-tips for you sis. - You go to the front.

You're just fucking churning butter I'm just thinking it's like a Mormon like fucking Amish chick with the fucking it's the girl turning butter thing. He's seen at the fucking convention Oh

Making milk over here. Oh, man. She looked like a leprechaun from the old 80s horror movie. She really did. Oh, I would just, like, whoever dates that person is kicked off the podcast effectively. I know what I have to do. I just don't want to distract the deer.

Man, what do we talk about a brunch? We said we were gonna bring something into this conversation. It was the porn convention Yeah, a lot of there was some there was something else there was a few we had a thing drink and I was like what you had a story you were telling you're like I assure you it's gone now I was trying to remember it immediately after I said this was like I'm gonna remember this and my thought process immediately went to what was it you were thinking about and I was like, I don't know internal you I

I have a great story, but I can't tell it now. Every one of us has a brain of a fucking etch-a-sketch. It's like, yeah, child drawing looks great. Gotta remember this.

shake it it's gone you just turn and it's like and it's like a slight turn the sand just wipes away your memory like it's starting over today no that's literally our fucking brains man we're a dry erase board covered in cum oh

Speaking of boards, however, we have the death pool board. We have the death pool board, which is already giving up on life. So I ordered a chalkboard off Amazon and FedEx absolutely annihilated it before they dropped it off at my house. But it was only like four dollars. Somebody a new one. Somebody suplex that motherfucker. Yeah, that is the box. It came in was like ripped wide open. It was hanging out of it and shit when I got it. It was it was bad. It looks like our brain.

Smooth with two wrinkles. Two little wrinkles on your own, bitch. These are memories. Otherwise we have this perfectly formed just mush. We're all the embodiment of our last four brain cells, like, with our power combined. Hello, handle. Hello, handle. What is that? Hi, handle. You know exactly why it's hello, handle. Maybe in five years and we're all long canceled, the internet will know why, but...

Yeah, we're gonna do it. I hope not. Wait till I off myself first, please. No, no, you'll never get to see the finished product. No, I'll be there. We can't even say why that's funny.

I think we've talked about, we have a list of skits that we can probably never do. Have you dropped the words? No. Okay, never mind. I don't think we haven't said that on here yet. We were talking about Batty today just because like Wednesday we couldn't get a hold of Batty to upload the episode. I was busy having a migraine. Oh my god. Everybody's just being like, banana? Did you see our subreddit that day? No. Dude, banana? Dude, it was just fucking bananas.

What Minions does to a motherfucker? Dude, it was the new emoji on iPhones, the salute. I thought it was a fucking banana. He's a fucking idiot. Your text came out of nowhere. It was like, whatever happens, and I put a salute. And he's like, whatever happens, banana. So podcast tomorrow, 9am? If you haven't seen the last podcast...

You're not gonna watch it. It's fine. We get it. That's the one now everyone's like that's one of the top three to do you good Yeah, like he was trying to make it appear. I don't think it's gonna happen. No good. No, fuck on his though. Yeah, there you go

Faded away slowly and then put it to baddies face you'd flood killed it on that edit with the stranger things bit like I was like what the fuck I didn't see it. Oh shit. I didn't see that short. You should probably watch What all right Do you not watch any of our shorts there a minute I

You don't spend a minute watching our content? Sounds like a lot of work. Sounds like a lot of work. I was there. You were shitting for ten minutes. I know.

I think it was lively grew lively isn't around anymore wait is it not no the guy quit he said he didn't want to promote stuff like that anymore wait when did that happen uh last year did he just sell it off or did he know yeah that's when we talked about the episode he didn't sell it he just deleted it yeah he shut live leak down he was like I don't want to you know be pushing stuff like this anymore I said that in a Darwin Awards at one point I'm like you know it's gonna be good and that live leak logo is in the corner but I'm like yeah

LiveLeak, you made some of us grow up far too quickly. Yeah, I think he was saying he just didn't want to do stuff like that anymore. Pouring one out from a homie, LiveLeak. On Batty's floor. Why is there mushrooms growing right here? It's so warm. It's warm and damp. Random shit starts popping up.

I want to flunk on the podcast. Yeah, we gotta get flunk on the podcast. We gotta get flunk. Oh, Fat Electrician, he said in the next three weeks if we want to bring him down. I don't remember him. Who? Who? Who?

We're trying to well I was trying to bully him into moving to Texas. Yeah, I tried to honestly yeah, I think he's considering it really is yeah Great addition to the team move to Texas welcome to the offenders and he's a medic So when we fuck shit up also you can't say that word on YouTube unfortunately medic yeah So all right flock sorry I'm making your job difficult laughs I

You can't say on YouTube is in the same category about Australian YouTube if you read the read the guidelines is Officially in the same category and words you can't say yeah does YouTube say the n-word in the list it is literally in that Yes, YouTube has sent the n-word Wow hypocrites So you can say it

I didn't know about these. It's like the self-worth. Like, I know it. I just don't think I should say it. Ten seconds, Mr. Marshall. I'd like to solve the puzzle. Heather and I saw the one that came on the other night with the Harley riders. Do you remember that? They changed the definition of the word. Did they? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

It's like jokes are funny. It's like there's a difference between jokes and hate speech. Oh, yeah, exactly Oh, it's funny because the boys were in the auditorium and the the principal and they held like this big thing the principal and the mayor of the PC police or something the PC that wasn't that one. That was a couple years after. But the principal and the... What if we don't own a bag but we're curious about owning one?

Then I would be bike curious. Jesus Christ. I forgot about that. They come in there. Like someone's been spray painting this word all over the billboards in town and all in buildings. And, and the boys were like, yeah, we did it. Like, why would you do this? It was like, Oh no, we don't care about gay people. We just, there'll be a bunch of gay. Just don't be.

And it's all for the bikers like... And then they turn off their bikes. Because they're sitting in the diner and they're like, no one's paying attention to us, boys.

That stigma I think is the only reason I still do not own a heartly Bro, I got a Harley and I put the shortest loudest fucking pipes I could on it They're just straight to the ground there were ground shakers like oh, there's a word for that I saw that episode was like kid it just resonated with me, you know Like is that me

Is that me? I'm retarded. Quantum leap. Can we play that quantum leap clip right here? Who sent that? I sent it to you guys. We were saying we're going to green screen it so we can put anyone we want on it. The possibilities are endless. I forgot about that conversation.

Yeah, this is the episode. This is the one. Just deep fake that one for a whole hour. This is the episode. I don't know what the fuck the audience has heard so far, but we really have gone harder here than I think we ever have. Cheers.

Weird when I quit the podcast You guys are rude I'm unsubscribing from unsubscribe, but he's in the corner

Yeah, fuck you, man. Holy shit. God, no. Oh, yeah. He just gets his old cop baton out.

Stop resisting. Dude, it has to do you and the shirt match. You're orange. It has to do you and the ginger lives matter. Oh, your shit's live. I may have said that last time. Your shit's getting shipped out, so people should be getting it soon. I haven't even gotten it yet. No, I'm getting a huge package with all your stuff. Your stuff. Random stuff. And again.

Fuck me, I guess. Jesus. Baddie's just like, "Umm." If you haven't tried Outta Riggs... That's so good. ...toothpaste. It's so delicious! He's just scooping it and eating it. I'm like, "Baddie, what the fuck are you doing?" "Baddie's over here doing fucking whippets of hair gel." He's just tonguing it. Like, "Baddie, stop doing that to the hair paste!" "That's not what Outta Riggs is for!"

It's too late mother I've seen everything. Use cum 20! Just eating it. I don't use that pop bro. I'm gonna empty this out and fill it with like fluff or some shit. Do it like whipped cream. Like just God damn. Alright guys, use the new code artard20. It's not gonna work. Yet.

I would love that, just one episode. Hey guys, go to outofreggs.com, reggs with a Z, O-U-T-O-F-R-E-G-Z, look, I can spell outofreggs.com and use code unsub, unsubscribe, cum20, donut, baddie, maybe Brandon, Eli, and get some fucking pomade, hair gel, soap, shampoo, beard oil, beard creams, beard pomades, beard juice, I don't know, man, get your shit in and buy it, let's go!

I'm gonna switch yours to Batty's Beard Juice. The video's just us milking your beard, and it comes in the middle. Hi, welcome to Outta Reg's Farm. Outta Reg's Farm is 18 baddies on his hands and knees, and we're like, here we have the greatest Batty beard juice. Welcome to Tegrity Farms. It's gotta be Caleb. Caleb's gotta be milking me. So no, they made these for... Oh, God.

They made these for you retards. Caution, keep out of the reach of children. Do not ingest. Avoid contact with eyes. In case of contact, rinse with water. Store in room temperature. Do not swallow. This is not room temperature. Front towards enemy. I don't listen to you, stupid can. You're not my boss. We didn't raise ourselves at the top of the food chain to listen to cans. No.

Now I know Batty's commercial, though. It's going to be Batty Juice. It definitely has to be Caleb. It's been in the family for generations. I just am milking him. I hate it. Murph! Murph! We have to shock Batty and calm him down.

Keep him in a 95 degree room. Yo, shout out to that guy on YouTube. There's that one guy on YouTube who is like one of our top comments every time who just like breaks down exactly what we talk about. Oh, the timestamp guy. The timestamp guy. The timestamp guy. Timestamp guy, good luck. Good fucking luck this episode. Timestamp, 32 seconds in, brain bleed. 59 minutes, mentions me. He puts that at the top.

Please do. You go to the top time guy. Made fun of ****, said the F word, said the R word, said the C word, said the N word. You **** time-stamped the video based on racial slurs? Oh, God. You listed it wrong.

He's gonna do it now. He fucking said that. The boys get canceled. You make it real easy for the manual reviewer. You literally read timestamps. Yo, this one's gonna get your shrinked in. I'm calling it. Purple hair in California is gonna see those timestamps and just freak out. Yeah. What, what, what? It's gonna be like fucking Kyle's mom. Dude, that fucking episode ruined my life for two years. Which one? I was in middle school when Kyle's mom became a thing. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah at least your name wasn't Stacy That's fair Stacy's mom got it going dude that has Matt Damon in it Stacy's mom

Doesn't he sing that song? Stacey's mom does not have Matt Damon in it. No, no, no, no. You're thinking about... Road Trip. Yeah, Euro Trip. Euro Trip. No, but he sings how fucking stupid the boyfriend is. Scotty doesn't know? Scotty doesn't know. There it is. Yeah, that's the one. Scotty doesn't know. That's Matt Damon? Yeah, that's Matt Damon. He's the singer in that. What? Yeah. Look it up.

I've seen that shit so many times! That's Matt Damon. This is a little before my time, not gonna lie. If you ever see the real Trevor, I don't think so. That's a good one. It's still good to watch to this day. Excuse me, excuse me. Oh yeah, when they're in the train. In the train! And it's like every time it goes dark and he's like... Like it's like this, it's like first time it's like dark, he's like... And the lights go back on, he's just holding the guy's hand, he's like... That's fucking Matt Damon! It's bald Matt Damon! It's a...

Yeah. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. That we do it in my van every Sunday. God, that's a classic song, too. Oh, you got to watch your own trip now, dude. Great movie. I might go home and immediately go upstairs and watch it. Dude, the exchange rate bit is...

What happened to those movies? Like, Euro Trip, fucking American Pie, like your raunchy slapstick comedies. What happened? Do they make those? They started getting shittier. They're awful. Like, Superbad was the peak of that. It really was Superbad and, uh... American Pie was really good. The original was like, you grow up and you see it at the fucking Walmart, like, unrated cut and you think it's just porn, but it's actually a pretty good movie. No, they were fucking great. There was just more titties in it. Yeah, which, okay. So it was great. Yeah.

I see this as an absolute win. When Broken Lizard was fucking king of fucking comedy shit. Yeah, dude. Because they did Broken Lizard. Yeah, they did Super Troopers and The Island. What was it? There was Beer Fest, Super Troopers. There was a ton of them. That makes sense why they're all the same actors, too. Oh, yeah, exactly. Because it's their little fucking crew. That shit was fucking funny, man. Dukes of Hazzard, the redo. I don't know if that's the same people, but.

I don't think that was a good one. They did like the fucking reference to Super Troopers in it where the guy pulls him over in the fucking campus police golf cart. Mother of God.

Holy shit. I love that movie, man. Those don't exist anymore. No, they don't. Kind of died out. Teen movies, anything like that. Comedy fucking died. That was a fucking funny one, too. That was Captain America before he was Captain America. Yeah, he was the douchebag, right? Yeah. That's where he had like a fucking crotch full of fucking whipped cream.

And Wilder then while my favorite movie of all time I really honestly I will say so much fun It was like the love story. It's like still cute, and you're like ah but everything I read broke. Yeah, she Busted she was like a to be I had the bed wall or DVD and I watched that movie so many fucking times the intro song to the DVD was sugar a sugarcoat song called bouncing bouncing off the walls I believe it was yeah

I remember, just because like every time the movie would end, it'd kick it back to DVD. You guys remember that? DVD menus? Oh, yeah. And it would just play like a 30-second loop of something, and it was sugarcoats bouncing off the walls. Fucking, I constantly remember that. That was one of my favorite movies of all time. And you get that, whatever that menu is stuck in your head for...

No, no, it's it never left. She was bouncing off the walls is still forever in my head And you can remember exactly when like the basically, um, yeah, I know I like the gif of the background like stops and then restarts Restarts immediately stopping motion. Yeah, i'm gonna go watch van wilder again now jerking off the dog Oh, I remember the boston cream donuts and then they all eat them this tastes familiar. Yeah Mm-hmm

Ryan Reynolds is just so fucking charismatic. He is everything he's had like those your it was his first level people terrible person But like I just didn't Jim enjoying every second. He does those his first big like every movie just Ryan Reynolds playing Van Wilder in a different role if he seems right I know it's being Ryan. Honestly, probably you seem free guy. Yes. Oh my I fucking good I just well yeah, I watched that like last month. I did not know this I

There's an episode of X-Files with Ryan Reynolds in it. What? Is he playing Ryan Reynolds? No, I didn't. You can even tell his voice. If I played his voice right now, you would not recognize him. Is it a child? No, he's playing a football captain. It's fucking weird. Like, he's chunkier. His voice does not match Ryan Reynolds. I was like, what the fuck? He hadn't grown into his full Ryan Reynolds form yet. No, not yet. Yeah. The Canadian, the Bremen. Super Saiyan. Blade Trinity fucked.

That was a good one. I forgot about that one. Dude, Ryan Reynolds. Didn't they hate each other? Like Wesley Snipes and Ryan Reynolds like on set for that movie like fucking hated each other. Really? Everyone hated Wesley Snipes during that. I heard he was a cock during the last couple of Blades and everything. Turns out he was dealing with a lot of shit with the IRS at the time. Yeah. One or two tax evasions. Sorry, Batty. They took Wesley Snipes' dragon skulls. Black Trinity was a great movie though. I loved that. Again, that came out when I was growing up though so it was like

Those are the OG superhero movies to think about it Blade the old Superman sure the OG Punisher That was that was a good one dude fucking do the piercings it wasn't good by like today's standards But for like no Marvel shit like no good superhero movies at the time that was pretty fucking good Yeah, John Travolta was the bad guy. Yeah, that was really cool fucking the Punisher also

What's his name? Guy that did the Castlevania anime short or anime on Netflix right now. He's the one that did the original Punisher YouTube video. Oh, yeah. Dirty Laundry. Yeah, I know that guy. Have you watched Dirty Laundry? No. The Punisher YouTube skit done by a YouTuber. Now he's a director. Because it's like 10 years after that movie came out. They were trying to get it rebooted. Dude, his ghost. Thomas Jane was the best Punisher. And they had fucking Hellboy in it.

Yeah, uh, uh ron perlman Even though he's a cuck on twitter like dude, he is such a fucking psycho. Yeah on the internet. I haven't seen that Oh, he's like he's a nut job crazy far left like anytime. He's like, oh i'm so like I saw this guy at the convenience store today and he's fucking crazy Which is why trump has a small dick i'm like

Dude, it's just chaos. What the fuck was in that red makeup? Are you okay? Is it fucking Is it fucking lead based? Like what the fuck is wrong with you? Calm down bro, just let it go. But yeah, if you've not watched Dirty Laundry is, I'll watch that again. It's a short, it's like five minutes. Yeah, I'll watch that for this. Well, it goes so hard. Especially for YouTube back in the day, you're like I'll put a link to it in the YouTube description. Jack Daniels bottle.

We'll watch it after, but you're gonna be like, what the fuck? Also, I told you guys, I don't know if I told you, in the text group are the Mentos commercial. You know the... Oh, yeah! And then the guy beats the shit out of the girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I shouldn't be laughing at that, but yeah. My buddy, the creators of that, I got a text from like three days ago, four days ago, and he's like...

Hey man, what's up? I was like, John, what the fuck? He's like doing directing big stuff off Netflix. He's done a few docs and stuff. I bet he didn't put that on his fucking resume. No. Well, the text is the best exchange. Cause he was like, yo, did you guys talk about us on your podcast? Cause we got this influx of like comments about unsubscribed.

And Eli say this I was like, oh fuck. Yeah, man. Like yeah, we thought about that It's like when everybody suddenly remembers again that Joji was filthy Frank. Oh Two years. Yeah, they try to cancel fucking Joji because I sent you that video where it's uh, he's like doing like some you know appearance or whatever as Joji and somebody in the crowd yells out like Frank and he just goes

And the people around him are just kind of like they said the thing he remembers us that's like He's like that lives but books does not live anymore because I take it out. All right, yeah, they took it Yeah, I was like what happened to books? He's like, but we got careers to work Books

John, close your ears. I think it's okay to talk. Wait, I don't know if I can talk about it. I'll tell you after. Books was a hard... John's not here. No, it's a four-minute episode. I'll ask him afterwards and then I'll text him. Follow me here again. Follow me. Follow.

I left you on the curb. He's like the fucking dog from National Lampoon with the fucking leash on the end of the bumper. It's another amazing movie. The National Lampoon movies. I keep dropping them off at the fire station, but they keep bringing them back. It's like, sir, you gotta keep him. So books is, it starts off and they walk in and a guy's reading a book. He's like, what are you doing? He's like, I just reading a book. He's like, huh?

Like, you never read? Just have fun, bud. This is how you open your mind. This is how you explore the world. He's like, you know what? He's like...

Try it out read a book so it's like I will and he opens it up He starts reading he's like then it's him writing the best It's a four-minute sequence of like all these things like I know where this is going and then he closes he walks in and he's like any reason the last sentence he close he's like Like what do you think he was like my friend books are the greatest things I've ever explored. Thank you so much What do we do now? Like well

I'm gonna go fuck a dead dog you wanna watch. Just hearts, cups, damn, and dirt naked just like, "Ugh, ugh!" He's like, "You wanna try?" And then he sees his buddy like, "Ugh, ugh!" And that's it. Dude, I thought it was gonna be like, I realize what I've been missing out on, and now I have a new purpose in life. And like, slams the book shut and it's "Mind Comments." Oh, shit! Ding! See?

That makes you think? What was the- We could make that skew. I just like, John was like, "We're never running for Congress." No, God, we wouldn't take the pay cut. Well, maybe the new Congress. That's the reason! Oh, God, the pay cut. God. Ugh. What did they make? Oh. Ew. Oh, no wonder they're all corrupt. Gross. Pay 'em more and they won't be corrupt. Yeah.

Wow, okay, so we know publicly you've had a full-time job for, you know, 20 years, making $100,000 a year, and you're worth $82 million. That's weird. That's suspicious. I have questions. It's weird that nobody has questions. Where do these two zeros come from? Wow, your stock portfolio has been really, you know, conveniently timed with world events. Buys and sells right at people's...

Right before announcing of stuff. Crazy how that- Also you get paid two million dollars for speeches you didn't even show up to. Dude I can't wait for one of us to get suicided now. It's gonna happen. It's gonna be me. They go after baddie first. No no suicide did. Oh! The ED. Yeah. Unintentional. Right?

Right, guys? Right? Is it unintentional? I don't know now. Get the board out. I'm actually excited to fill that board out. Yeah, me too. We'll win the new office space when we finally get it. We're never going to get one. I got another place we're looking at. Oh, yeah?

This week. You hear that podcast crew? We're going to look at another studio. AKA Eli's going to look at another studio. AKA somebody's going to send you a video of them doing a walkthrough of it. No, I'm the one that did that video of the walkthrough. Oh, you actually went there? I didn't watch the video. I watched the video. This is what I deal with. Someone sending you a video. That's me. The fucking video, man. The fucking video saying, hey, this room is this.

Gonna be 17th episode in a row like this do it and go in the studio Then four episodes and they say they got a studio be a lot of we don't I Just can't wait for not to perspirate during and I'm gonna be kind of sad if it's called studio We still grab those frozen things. They're definitely not ready enough One well in this very they're slurpees

But you gotta let 'em melt a little bit before you eat 'em. Yeah, no, they're completely liquid stuff. DUDE. Really? The fuck's wrong with your, like, ghetto-ass... freezer? It's a freezer! It work- I hate... so much. I have so many. It's a freezer. They're literally frozen. I'm just gonna drink it. I don't give a shit. Alright. I'm gonna drink a- a freezer. How much sugar is in here? To be honest, it's- Probably a ton. At least it's cold. The colders? They don't show you. Contains 8% alcohol! Yeah, I'm gonna drink this! Okay.

Wait, do they not have like a terror- oh right, scissors? I hate- no, this is a lot of work, Brandon. This is unacceptable. You got a knife? I know you got a knife. I'm going in. Really? Yeah! I mean really. Oh wait, hold on. Hold up. Oh no. Is this a Tac-Pak knife? That's a Tac-Pak knife. I have that same one at home, I'm just not carrying it. Tac-Pak. Tac-Pak. 50 carbohydrates. Oh, six carbohydrates. This is only 50 calories? These are healthy as shit.

Only 50 calories and 8% alcohol? I'mma do a shooter. This is technically better than the White Claws. Guys, let's boof 'em. Oh, lemme get a... where's the Nike at? Cody, would you like a... Matty, Pond passes you the frozen boof. Do you accept? Are you sure you don't want a bunch of sugar? No, I want a frozen one. I don't want a liquid one. I'm... sorry. I freeze at work. I know it's your fault. You fucking asshole. Old rich white guy over here.

Oh, that tastes like it would be really good frozen. Uh-oh. Oh, you guys did Strawburitas? I did a Lime-urita. I had a period of my life where I was just drinking Rita's.

Don't know makes sense the way I did that with the the Natty light natter days. Do you remember those those were fucking good? It was like lemonade strawberry lemonade or something. I went through a period where I'd bring in a lot of Actually me you drink Oh, yeah Like bad in Natter days what do you think I

It's not very good. It's not great. I don't know if it'll be great frozen, to be honest. It might be. Batty's freezer has a fucking sauna in it. I mean, they're cold, Eli.

They're not frozen. Baddie's freezer has- It's been 45 minutes! I can't wait for Baddie to shoot you. Say "Hey guys, I'll be right back!" I'll go grab the frozen pops now. "COME HERE!" "HE'S COLD ENOUGH!" "HE'S LIKE COLD ENOUGH!"

Cuddy's still like, welcome! You know what you get when you mix 65 episodes of a podcast and constant bully? You get what you fucking deserve.

Brandon he's now a host

Just me and Brandon. You don't switch seats. You still sit side by side. So guys, shit happened last week. In case you haven't watched the news, something uncool happened last week. Super uncool, guys. Don't shoot your friends. We uploaded it. You still upload it? Age restricted? Oh.

You two in the middle blurred on my side

It's back and forth. We're going to have to get Danny Worsen up to sing another song. Say bye to Eli. He's dead. That's just the whole thing. Say bye to Eli.

That's true God who wins on the dead that guy was oh, that's the rule though there was a there was a clause in the death pool that can't kill each other Oh, that's fucking lame Decides to fry you that's still fair game. Yeah. No. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Oh

Cuz you don't know how long that's gonna be appeals and like yeah, well, okay doesn't have no moment. They'll cook me. Yeah White I'm Mexican

North Carolina, they just shot someone by firing squad. Wait, what? Was it by request? No, they couldn't get the chemical to inject them, and so they took them out back and shot them. I would rather do that. This is actually a really good last segment.

Fucking watching death row stuff on like shit that's gone wrong. Dude's got hung three times and they just gave up on it. This is a death kind of shit. No, he got hung three different times. Every time he would go, it would mess up. So they just let him go anymore. Eli, this is a while ago. I know.

They don't hang people anymore, Eli. But they just gave up. They're like, oh, we fucked up three times. We can't do this again because emotional distress. I guess go back to **** or whatever. But shooting squads was request for a while and there was a dude that did it out in not too long ago, like 2000s. A dude requested a jail shot. Does the jail guards do that?

Hmm. I don't know. I guess one guy with a blank. I think some have blanks. Some have a real bullet. I think it's one guy with a blank and then the rest have real bullets, I believe is the way it works. I think it's the other way around because you don't want everyone being like, I probably murdered this dude and

It's less people that think they can murder somebody to be honest is fucking stupid anyway cuz you know you're shooting blanks Stop the hesitation. I don't know it just sucks cuz you can be like man imagine You're like you're just there and you're like oh man. Can't wait for another great day at work I don't like this job that much hey you got to kill somebody today. That's what I'm saying. That's a lot of pressure I'm sure they have to kill a child rapist murderer

Fuck yeah, alright! Woo! Best job ever! I love my job. They pull the guy, it's like, I would quit YouTube tomorrow. Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, your job is to kill pedophiles. I'm like, oh fuck, and you're paying me? You're paying me?

I was asleep like a fucking baby. Yeah, they had that. What are the other ones? Because now it's just the needle stuff. So in 1973, I want to say, they had... Why do you know that year? Because I've looked this up before. Why? Okay. Well, so in 19... I think it's 73. It might be 74. Something like that. I think it was the last guillotine execution in France. Goddamn.

That's metal as shit, dude! They straight up cut someone's fucking head off. And I can't remember if it was like via request or whatever, but... That seems way more humane than firing squad.

Dude, I'd rather be shot. Like, shot in the head. Especially like eight dudes. Eight dudes fucking just like shooting you with bolt action rifles. Give me the fucking guillotine every day of the week, dude. If the guns were here, if I had eight guns like here, I'm good. I'm like, you know what? You're getting like this fucking solid collar of shotgun shells. I'm like, I'm good with this. I've seen infantrymen literally not be able to qualify offensively.

That's why I'm not good with that. That's what I'm saying. These are people who are meant to be the best shot. I don't know how much you know about firing squads, but it's like, you know, face the wall at 10 feet. It's not. That's what I'm saying. We've seen infantrymen. That's the thing. That's what I'm saying. It was worth it. Boom. My dick. It's like. That's what I'm saying. That's why it's way more humane if it's only one dude with the blank.

Cuz then you like get like fucking eight rounds of eight millimeter Mauser to the fucking brain basket and it's like okay well I'm done. You shot my dick in the... That's what I'm saying though. Motherfuckers that are trained to shoot for a living can't qualify on a rifle range. I don't know about prison guard number two. He doesn't have a name in the creative.

I don't want him shooting me! Prison guard 2! Steve! That guillotine's a piece of metal, it ain't gonna miss! Do you have any last words? Yeah. I'm still the main character. But I want a guillotine here. Just to stop like, *crack* halfway through your head? *Gillotine sounds* HANDLE! HANDLE! SAVE ME HANDLE!

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As always, you have Eli Doubletap, my best friend, Donan Operator, who loves me so much. Fuck you, Eli, and Brandon Herrera! Thank you, as always. Go away. That was the first time in this podcast I think I just, like, stopped before I was gonna make a joke. I'm like, we've already gone way too fucking far. We found your line!