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You're beautiful. No, you're beautiful. No, you're beautiful. Why'd you only call him beautiful after he'd put on the mask? Reminds me of home. Yeah, that's my name. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Donut.
It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching Unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...
That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. Come on.
And that's where the you come that is come subscribe three two one boom Wait who's going for there you go. Do we got Adam results on the podcast today? No, no, no hold on. Hi everyone unsubscribe podcast. No, no, no, he's right. Hi everyone unsubscribe podcast here. It's a little more like hi everyone Unsubscribe podcast here today. We're joined by admin
Why does he talk like an adult from Charlie Brown? Womp womp womp womp womp. We all have to do that. Baddy streams. Brandon boppinator. I don't know why I called you boppinator. That was weird. And I feel fucking bad. Admit. Why did you choose such a hard name? I like the idea that every time you see the word administration, someone thinks of me.
No. Okay. Well, in my head. In my head, that's how it played out. You know, although when I do get tested for STDs and I see the results, then I think of you. Mostly because I'm worried it was the sex with you. That is why I have an STD. You still thought of me, though. I did. I really did. And he's going to forgive you for the rest of his life every time he has a flare-up. Every time it itches. Hey, listen. Introducing our first sponsor, condoms. Condoms. Well...
We don't use them. And out of Rex. I use that. This is the loop. Did you bring fucking with pomade? Huh? Could you fuck with pomade? Is there anything in this? It's a hard way to find out. That's gonna add some abrasiveness to it. You gonna get good, girl? Slap!
I have a yeast infection. Weird. Who would have seen that? Adding grit. It reminds me of like lapping compound that you put in something to fucking. Sounds like they're making mac and cheese. Oh shit. Sorry for luck. We haven't clapped in like five episodes. He gots it down. He must hate us.
Hi, welcome to the podcast, bro. Hi, Eli. How are you? Oh, I fucking, it's so weird just looking. Why did you choose a mask? So, your eyes are so, I know nobody's listening can see this, but your eyes are beautiful. Thank you. They're like a poop brown. Right, so the mask. Essentially, I needed, I needed, you motherfucker.
He's like, this is me and him not really interacting too much. So this is just like, let's just go broke. So essentially what it was is I need a level of plausible liability based off the last job. That's essentially it. And then as it took off, I kind of got stuck into it. Break that cycle. Today. Dude, I can't. Not here. No, you can't. Why? This is the time. I wanted. There's another man. I literally wanted that meat.
I wanted that beat. I was like, I hope Batty has a mask. So it would have literally been like, hey, okay, take the mask off. You take it off. Okay, I guess I will. Okay. Okay, that's weird. Right, right. It's a card I'm holding close to my chest, if I'm being honest with you. There is a plan. I don't know if I can do it yet. You put the mask on like five minutes ago. What do you mean? Well, I mean, it's... Hey, Flugg, it's not that close to the chest. It's on a lute. The thumbnail's going to be your face. We have you on camera. Flugg, just keep that up.
Just superimpose it over his face this entire time We have the power now Oh I'm fucked Actually that would be a good- we'll do your mask and then uh we'll just cut in really close to unmask but we'll pixelate all of it By your eyes It is him! I've seen him without the mask guy I feel kinda special though knowing how beautiful you are under there It's not like I'm trying to be a secret ninja it's now just part of the channel
Do you like it though? You lose all power when you go you gain power because no one recognized that's the nice thing Oh my god, that's how we met you really skipping parties to me and I was like, yeah We're at the black rival party in vegas and he just comes up behind me. He's like i'm administrative results. I'm like
I wasn't trying to like get you, I was just trying to like have sex with you. So I don't know if it's gonna seduce you or not. I mean at SHOT Show that line is pretty good. "I'm administrative results" is a pretty good pick up line. Yeah, it's a pretty good pick up line. I heard eight guys say it. I had guys pass through there. I'm administrative results! I am administrative results!
I'm a Spartacus that girl was like man. I slept with four different dudes with the same name They all wore the balaclava. They're all disappointed Incredibly small penis is incredibly small his penis. Oh, okay. Yeah, I told you about her She was fantastic his penis has a balaclava
It's a condom with holes in it. We didn't say it was a good condom. It's not to do... The single eye staring back. Put two sharpied eyes. For anybody listening, Administrator Results wears a balaclava. A penis condom. On his head. A penis condom as opposed to... On his head.
Well, which has Yeah, both heads. Yeah, welcome to the show This feels At home good good. Is it all the nerdy D&D shit everywhere or? Like the sexual tension in the air. No, I was gonna go more with the sexual that definitely feels like home But it's definitely amplified by all the nerdy D&D. Okay. Yeah So are you like how big of a nerd like I'm going to this cold. Hmm
I'm like fucking right not knowing I wouldn't say Dungeon Dragons nerd but I will like go off on a tangent about like the Battle of Agincourt I don't think that anybody okay wait hold up okay now don't troopers
How do you think of Starship Troopers? I don't know. Agincourt sounds like definitely more fantasy. No, Agincourt is actually more historical. It's a historical battle. This is the kind of nerdy autism that I bring to the table. I love it. My son's autistic. Oh, I'm sorry. Me too. That's not a box you get to check ahead of time, as it turns out. Turns out. Who knew? A box you get to check.
Is it is it well, I guess I'll double down is it the lethal autism like the accountant not yet?
He could be. Yeah, because he's threatened us with death. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I'm gonna kill you all. We're like, okay buddy, we don't use that verbiage. I just watched the account like fucking a month prior. I'm like, this is it. You're gonna catch him in his bedroom like fucking like strobes and metal music just rolling his shins. I'll open it and close it. I'm gonna be like...
Are you winning son? Yes, dad. Yes, okay Daddy loves you Terrifying name to be an assassin. Oh, I know yeah, yeah, he's gonna be fucking that's not like Joe, you know Joey ain't coming to kill you but right Yeah
That's it. He's fucking savage a little savage. Okay, so nerd on explain the battle. Oh, yeah, okay, yes, baddie What is the house set a million degrees right now literally 70 degrees my house right now is not is this 70 degrees? No, it doesn't help that it's a hundred outside right now Okay, so it's set to 70 degrees There is not baddie. This is not 70 degrees is this feels like 70 degrees feels like 95 degrees here. Oh
Brandon's sweating. I'm always sweating. I'm wearing a balaclava. Yeah. Sorry about Batty's house. It's okay. I was in my house right now. This is not, I could, there is no, this is not, Oh no, it's 75. Yeah. Like it is not fucking 68 degrees. It's 75 in the house. The lighting doesn't help. It's like we're getting a tanning, tanning bed. Let's move into a studio. I've said it.
This is what this house is supposed to. Can you just turn it down to like 62 when guests come? It doesn't matter. I could. It doesn't fucking matter because it's fucking trying to cool the house. But my last house was like that where it's like if you didn't get always on, if you didn't get up in the morning and set it to like 69 degrees before it started like getting midday, you were. It's been at 68 since yesterday. But it just it's just hot.
It's really hot in Texas right now too. Yeah, it's fucking it's a hundred degrees out like my house is 68 degrees Yeah, your house was built last year Mine was built in the 80s Sorry admin this is that tension The sexual tension if you are just listening I leave the house hot because I want people to take their clothes off when they're in here The sexual tension is so thick
It's all we want. It's just a mmm. Okay, back to the battle before. Oh, yeah. We're still on this. Okay, yeah, yeah. So the French battle, essentially, there's a movie about it with the king, and this is kind of the nerding out I do. With the king.
Wait. It was on Netflix. It has the kid from Dune. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. He plays King Henry V. Fucking phenomenal. Phenomenal. Very good movie. The only thing is the historical accuracy in it is pretty fucking off. It's way off. Yeah. Especially in the battle. So essentially, like, the English, they don't have much going for them besides they used to rule the world, but now they don't, right? So this is a good movie. Yeah, the English. Well, at least their schools ain't a fucking shouting gallery. Right?
Sorry. Obligatory. You guys do have sex. At least... It's worse. We do YouTube videos. Yeah, it's much worse. We actually don't have sex. You influence people. Some people fuck bodies, we fuck minds. That's a t-shirt. Anyway, so...
We didn't drink enough before we came. No, we didn't. No. But we drank plenty yesterday. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, we did. Holy shit. Oh.
Anyway, so essentially what it boils down to is the English lower class murder the French nobility with a bunch of bendy sticks that shoot smaller sticks. The Britons were very proud of this. It was just badly represented in the movie. I did like the brutality they showed during the armor, like the fighting sequence and it was muddy and all that. And you're like...
It shows. It's like, oh, everyone's wearing full chain mail and you're punching a dude. You're not killing them. You're just beating them until...
Hopefully that armor gives away and it caves in slightly and then you just hit him more with a hammer or so like it would be like Who's cardio is best who's like endurance is best and then I'm gonna stab you through the eyes That's what the fighting feels. Have you guys ever seen those like full metal contact sports? Yes, that's shit wild I knew some dude who did it and I'm just like yeah, I kind of want to get into it But I also kind of don't want to get punched in the throat with a shield. Yeah Yeah
Some of that shit looks like it could be fatal. They're taking like the guards on the swords and just beat the shit out of their heads and stuff. I'm like, you're just punching somebody with like a fucking gauntlet. Yeah. I don't know why people don't die. Like every tournament, like I'm looking at some of these, like you're taking a fucking metal shield and shoving it in someone's fucking jugular. Yeah. Like how? How does it not like a death every time? Well, to be fair, it all be fatal if they just didn't wear the armor.
Oh yeah, sure. But back in the day, what's even better is like you breaking bones or you getting infected, it's like, "Well, Sir Scott, we have to cut his arm off now." He took a thorn- That's a bruise! He took a thorn to the finger. We have to- Oh, your blood's blood! We gotta blame you, get that bad blood out. That's the problem with all these wooden spears, the splinters, oh my god! We've lost four men to gangrene today! Get the local whore down here to piss on the open wound, that shall clarify it. That's clean!
Bless the water. And you're like, what the fuck? One of the, I forget which Prince, that's what they did. He got an arrow in the face and he survived. Like, and it was like penetrated down his like nasal cavity. And what they did back in like, I think it was the 1400s. It's like, okay. So they stuffed it with leaves and salve, which naturally they were like, yo, this is what we put in this. And it was like a two day, three day trip back to the kingdom. And then this is the first time they did a surgical removal of an arrow. A guy created a,
you put it in the wound you like shove it in and then it opens up so you then you put another stick in to remove the arrowhead itself and it took like three attempts and the prince is just like i'm guessing drunk at this time and they're just crazy shock yeah and they're like cleaning out the wound i was like god damn it and he's he didn't have pictures drawn of his right side of his face because it was so mangled but
Reconstructive surgery is a fairly modern practice, as it turns out. Yeah, and I was like, fuck, dude, back in the day, it was just...
Most brutal shit you watched the movie Matt Damon the last duel dude. Oh good Hey, did you read about that and all the accounts are so different? Yeah, I didn't read about but it was kind of like the there's three sides to any story You know I mean your side their side in the truth So that was a very fun and then like it kind of was interesting seeing the two different pathways of how someone was living You know being liked by people as opposed to oh perfect and now we got this oh
batty batty's just like hey it's my countryman i didn't i don't know where they come if you can hear it he scheduled the landscapers the same time to film a podcast i'm gonna go yell at my cousins real quick yeah right we can go do it that's fine yeah brandon you might know one i might know the other we can take care of this sorry audio listeners for they can't hear that is that why the thing is peaking hold on
They can't hear it really loud for us. I think about do good mics are oh really good Have you seen the last duel either you know I haven't no I've been hurt be honest the Brutality in that fucking fight though all the fights you're like oh god like the like someone in the face teeth and shit falling out like Stabbing in between armor bra and it's a duel and you're like oh yeah, this is what they did like oh
This is literally how they live life back in the day. Yeah, I'd rather shoot people to death. And the girl that... What's going on in it is someone... There's grape happens. Some grape on the girl. It's like, I got graped. Grape jam. And so naturally, the court's like, whoa, that's a big statement. First off, you're property because you're a female. Second... Calm down, wench. Yeah, literally, it's like, well, your husband and the other dude are going to have to...
If your husband loses, we're going to fucking strip you naked. She's pregnant, by the way. We're going to strip you naked and burn you, like burn her at the stake and then hang the husband, I think was like. What year?
This is right after they reappealed Roe v. Wade. This is fucking crazy. But yeah, like, and you're like, oh yeah, this is how people thought. And she just had like, they put her on this, like she was locked up and just stood in the middle of the duel and just had to watch and hope for the best. And you're like, get them, honey. Yeah. You're like, oh,
I'm curious what legal precedent there would be for why she would have to get burned for her husband losing in a duel. Because she said she got graped. To be fair...
And throughout all of human history grape was a pretty big thing we can kind of fix that more or less recently Yeah, that was a recent last one hundred years or so our history sucks It's not even about the grape. It's like bro. That was his property. How dare you that's literally how it Defile another man's property man's honor. Yeah, you don't come in another man's property. Yeah, I
Like jerking off your buddy sedan. And I like it. Oh, dang, we must do it. Also, I think I got the first come of the podcast. Oh, congrats. Feels good. It's right here. A little bummed I used to like to finish first, but congrats to you. At least I had a good time. That's all I came here for. Yeah, that shit's fucking... If you haven't watched that movie, it's a really good one. And then it's...
I don't know many historical about more Genghis Khan eras my nerd. Oh really? I fucking love that Genghis Khan some pretty base shit dude that dude was a savage like speaking of grape
He had the whole goddamn vineyard. That's one word for it. My man opened a winery. He was smashing all sorts of grapes. He reduced the carbon footprint from raping. 30% of all grapes today are related from that vineyard.
Fine vintage. A fine year it is! Mongolian 1263. Delightful. That is so uncomfortable. I'm just saying. This is today. They're talking about the non-consex. I don't like this. He's like, I need one more of this. I'll be fine here in a second. Hold on. Alright, I'm good. Fuck it. What else do you nerd out on, bro?
Got you a straw. Oh, yeah, my bad. Well obviously guns so guns is the main Huh bread and butter, but those are those kill people. Well, that's the whole point, right? Yes, they don't grape at least they don't great. Well keep people You haven't been to the parts of reddit I have I Have those parts of reddit. You've been how long you been into the firearm? I
I've been going on, I would say, hitting it pretty heavy for over a year and a half now. Fuck yes. What made you like, I'm choosing a balaclava? It was the level of plausible deniability from the last job. So one thing, I'll give you guys this, and since you brought me on the podcast, I haven't talked about this, and people that know me know. Former Delta operator. Definitely not that cool. Medal of honor recipient. Definitely not that cool. I'm just adding a resume. I was a former beat cop, so I just worked for a local PD.
And it was at this really heightened time of political controversy going on in the country, right? What? That's never happened. How much of that was your fault?
Have you heard of "Angry Cops in Buffalo"? - I have, and that guy's a stud. But no, so I'll give you guys this. Yeah, so essentially it started out with that being in law enforcement, I wanted to have a level of plausible deniability in case I shot someone in the line of duty, and then they could look back at my social media and be like, "This guy clearly wanted to shoot anybody." At least at the time, I thought I was doing the right move of like, no face, no case.
So of course they could easily like dox it and figure out who I would be but at least I'd have that like in my head the thought process was a shroud of deniable possibility. So that was it. That's how it spawned and then of course as this thing became its own beast I was like I'm not going to go public yet. It's nice to have a little bit of layer of privacy on the internet and it's still a card I'm holding close to the chest if I ever want to go public.
I do feel like sometimes there are certain projects I want to do where the mask can hold you back. And other times, I think it just kind of amplifies some of the other stories. I think it enhances it. Because if you're doing stuff like you do a lot of skits and LARP and shit, where I
I think it's funnier because the balaclava is so out of place, but it's so distinct. Yeah. Like, it almost adds to the humor. Because you're not doing anything seriously. It's more all parody. Right. I do, like, if I'm being honest and kind of raw, like, I do worry about the optics, like, long term of, like, working professionally with other people. Like, okay, you have this dude that's crazy. He's willing to do, like, super edgy LARPs.
and then working with firearms, who's masked up. Usually the people that wear masks and guns are like the ones that are like, "We want the holoshaholite!" They're like dividing little squiggly line flags in the background. It's not like the best optics, right? Or they're like the IRA. You've got some dude's hair over here, and you just see Admin doing it like this. And then he pans down and he's brushing his teeth.
Throw the live leak banner in the corner you're done. That's it man. We're on it. Yeah, that's all God You're one of those Jordanian pilots in the cage and all of a sudden you see the live leak logo
Oh man, I know how this one ends. Go away, go away, go away, go away. I was hoping for the corn hub sound. The music being corn hub. I don't know if I like that one too much better. Oh no. You're the white girl on the couch. The rusty machete feels a little rough. A little more rough.
It's never a clean cut. It was never a clean cut. The ISIS guys are pretty good about it. I haven't seen any of the new ones. It was just the old shit. I haven't seen the new model, but...
I saw the OG portion of the internet off. I don't, I'm good. Been there, done that early two thousands were rough. Yeah. That was when, uh, there was absolutely no censorship to where like, cause we hadn't figured that out yet. I remember being in fucking computer lab. Oh, what is it? What was it? I was maybe fifth grade, bro. And, uh, like we all just like watched,
We all just like watched Saddam hanging live pretty much. It was like, oh, wow, okay. Cartel chains. Did that guy just die? A lot of cartel. A lot of cartel show. A lot of cartel. Cartel, you're like, man, ISIS ain't bad when you compare it to the cartel. And you're like, I just realized that was a lot closer to Mexico. Yeah, we're real close. ISIS ain't bad. Eli, double tap. 2022.
Your cancellation is possible just like anything They're big on grape as well
You're technically the white one at the table. We'll just put all the blame to you. You know what? We don't know. We can't tell. We can't tell. He's Mexican. Those eyes don't say Mexican. He's black. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I thought so, right? I mean, I've seen his face. He's pretty black. Don't worry about it. He is black.
If for the viewers out there that can't see it, Batty leaned over and looked under the table. My buddy Batty's doing a little meat gazing. Professional.
So, guns, YouTube. Right. You got into the game a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'd say so, a year and a half ago. Why did you start a YouTube channel? I love making YouTube videos, man. Okay. Before this, was there a previous YouTube channel? There was a private YouTube channel. It was like my name and my persona attached to it, but I nuked it when I went to the PD. And then when I...
started this private one. It was kind of like a fun cathartic release from like the actual stressful shitty job that law enforcement was. And I wanted to have like this fun spirit. I wanted it to be like a good like separation because what I saw a lot of guys doing within the firearm space was they always take themselves super duper serious. Like they're like, like they're waiting for the president's call to be like, hey dude, hey Sam, we need you to come do a little kick. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got Garantham? Yeah, Garantham. No, he's, yeah, Brandon. Hey, hey,
The fuck, man? Honestly, I feel like that's why guys like us kind of started taking off is because we weren't in the super like, you know, we're decent at what we do, but it's not like super tactical and you got to shave 3.4 grams off of this, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, we just fuck around, have fun, just laugh at ourselves and others. I'll shoot 99% of people in flip flops and whatever gun you give me. But I'm not going to give a shit or be like, but.
I'm like, I'll wear the pink cat ears at the range. I get so many comments about that. It's like, what kind of, I figured out everything I need to know about this guy from the fact that he wears flip flops at a gun range. I'm like, yeah, that I, it's, I live in Texas and I value comfort. Warm.
Yeah. I say, yeah, then I'm like giga fucking Chad. What happens if a shell falls on your foot? It falls off. It falls. Exactly. I go like this. Oh, that was uncomfortable for 0.5 seconds. But weapons, if you get shot in the foot, well, I don't think my Nikes were going to stop it anyways. So,
So I'll be fine. Toes gone anyways. In fact, it's easier to access for first aid if there's no shoe around it to get infected and get into the wound. You need to start wearing flip-flops to the range is what we're getting at. Yeah, flip-flops. I'm actually coming back around. That's the ultimate tactical garment, much like the turtleneck. I was trying to start the paleo range diet where I just wear nothing to the range. That's all. Just like dueling naked? Yeah. Like that whole... Probably like plate carrier, battle belt, butt naked. Train how you fight. Slightly hungover. I'm not...
Hungover. Slightly hungover. A lot of bit horny. Drunk. Ready to rock and roll. That's usually how good. Drunk and rocked up. Let's go! The man freaked up! Stumbled out of his bedroom. We know! Fired three rounds. We can see it! Just drunk and stumbled. It's invading my airspace! Like, what gun am I gonna get you in the first? You shot him with a boner. It hasn't gone away.
Yeah, I apologize about this. It rather got enlarged after. Engorged, if you will. Your Honor, you're speaking from a position of someone who's never had a wargasm. It's like a combo between a rage boner and a fear boner. You never know. It's a fine line. That is the grave for which I exist in.
So this is our podcast. It's a lot of dick, a lot of cum. It's about gaming, but this... I've... Yeah, not from... Do you play video games? Oh, yeah. What? What? What? What? Stop it. What? Stop it. What? Shut the fuck up. Turn the mic down. What? No, it's fine. It's like, oh, yeah, this is intriguing. Tell me more. You're like, shut the fuck up. What? What?
What's your go-to game right now right now so I've been playing a lot of Halo reach at the moment actually reaches Rant them and I have been playing a lot of Halo reach together. Are you name-dropping? I am doing a little cloud The one that's like hey dude get this game or get that game, so we've been doing a lot of Halo reach like
Like Halo Reach, SWAT, takes me back to my junior high era, dude. Oh my god, SWAT, yeah. So good. Placing those headshots, man. Halo Reach has probably had some of the most satisfying kills. Halo Reach is amazing. The combat mechanics in Halo, Destiny, I will always say the gunplay and combat mechanics are like bar none. Some fucking dope ass shit. Not the new one, though.
Which one the new one the new hell infinite? Oh, yeah, new Halo is kind of like yeah, I guess the campaign doesn't feel like Halo No, it stopped being hello after reach. Yeah Honestly reach was probably the last best. Halo was reached before after ODST
Was it after is that ODST was like kind of like oh yes, he was I think it was like what do you call that? DLC almost for Halo 3 like yeah the same everything and just it was just a hell jumper fucking loved it I lived by ship that fucking insanity. I couldn't get into that game really it was it was a lot harder Which is the fucking point that was why I like that was like you're no longer an invincible war machine You're just some fucking you're human
Yeah, but I'm human in real life. I don't want this. I want to be a Spartan. I want to be a Spartan. Goob Spartan. Where is the Cortana? Goob Cortana. I'm Hormge. Goob Cortana. Goob Blue Woman. That's all you go to Spartan school for is for the Cortana. I'm Hormge. Bro, Admin made it all the way through Spartan training just to jerk off on Cortana? What?
Kortonga, come back! I'm horny! She's like just goop covered. She's like teleporting to different paths to avoid the comet. Kortonga! He's still in his balaclava. He's performing better than Master Chief Helmet, though. It's like...
John we know it's you master chief. He's like no John stop running around naked, but with the helmet It's actually more unsettling when it's just the helmet I'm horny Like I was gonna pass Spartan training but horny We guess have you seen the new Cortana?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would have dropped out of Spartan school. That's your determent. You were a big L.A. Finally got to be a Spartan and... I'm no humge no more. Okay, what skins do we have? Can I get that 2001 skin? Big ass...
Hint, hint, hinted Cortana. That's going to be dope. Where's my DLC for this bitch? You're like, Cortana's like Master Chief. I'm like, yeah. The UNSC mod community is shit.
Dude this guy's just drinking up the gravity the jiggle effects. Oh man Halsey was a bitch This is why we're not Spartans This is why This is the determining factor A little 500 years a little too soon yeah Batty has heart attacks so he can't be one Strokes not heart attacks Oh strokes The worst thing Wait wait That's when I'm blind
You'd be a terrible Spartan. It was like a minor fake stroke thing. It wasn't a real stroke. It's just way easier. This is having a stroke. It's called the bondulence. It just falls over sometimes. It's okay. I just walk and I'm like, well, here we go. Batty's a fucking Spartan. He just runs in circles because he can't control one side of his body. That's not how that works!
It's not like a tank or like a zero turn. It's like my leg. Your leg's not a track. You have to move it still. If you can't move one leg, you don't go in a circle. You just fall the fuck over. We'll see, Batty. Spartan Batty. I've said it. I've done it. I'm over. We'll see.
I just don't believe you. I don't believe you. Quiet, yeah. You're lying. I don't have any reason to believe you're not lying to me. What other games other than Halo? A lot of Minecraft. Really? Is that a joke? No. After I do my fighting and my Halo SWAT battles, I like to go to my peaceful farm where I just... Grape Village. There it is. I love that. There it is. Had us in the first half. I just picture your Steam characters like...
*laughter* It's slow! It's slow! That is the blocks, he's walking in. Come here villager, it's our- *laughter* He's the bell, all the villagers run inside, just goes in, closes the door. Steve Horngate! *laughter* His little block light kicking open the door. *laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter* *more laughter*
And you pull the granddad's eye and you kill them and take their emeralds when you're done? Yeah. 64 loaves of bread for one emerald. What the fuck? Bullshit. Oh my god. Yeah, I had to breed my horses, ride around, frolic in the sun, build a nice cabin, steal a villager, make them my sex slave. Dude, that's the best you can force mate them. So dope. Yeah.
Another baddie the villagers. Yeah, if you put them together they fucking you force they make babies and you villagers Yeah, then you grape is like literally a game mechanic. Yeah, yeah, it's like teaching you how to be like an ancient like I don't know if you guys are joking anymore No, actually you could with like animals and shit, but no the villagers you can force some fucking my app now And then you take their baby and you this is why God does that talk to us? Yeah? shit back
When I was in high school me and my buddies all had a minecraft server but it was on xbox because we didn't have PCs yet because we're poor and We actually all pulled in money by actually we had our buddies friend by our buddies brother by another Xbox and we modded the Xbox to always be on So we always had a live server because you couldn't have the only way you could ever play Minecraft with your friends is if your buddy was on Playing on that server. So we had a dummy account that was just constantly walking in a circle. So it didn't time out and
And we had a modded Xbox just to make a Minecraft server. And I built the Mines of Moria, and it was the greatest thing I've ever done in my entire life. The Balrog. The Balrog. Run, you fools. From the bottom to the skybox limit. I used a mountain to fucking put this in. Goddamn. I went hard. Buttertook. Bum, bum, bum. Bum, bum, bum, bum.
So what are you moving to Texas? I've got to find a bridge to live under. Why? I'm like...
I don't know. I don't know if I can honestly do text. I'm done with Arizona, man. Well, he's sleeping on my couch right now, and I went upstairs and checked on him, and he was sleeping under it. He's not joking. Yeah. A little bridge troll. Yeah. He's a guy like... There's a bridge right down the road. I turned on the light, and he hissed at me, so I ran away. It was quite frightening. It was before my time to come up, yeah. It's my graping bridge. You don't pay the toll. The grape toll. Yeah.
What is that? He's getting the most boys all year. Exactly. Yeah. Sonny. Oh, it's Sonny. Day man. Ha ha. I do. I'm the night man. Ha ha.
Son. The greatest. The greatest. That's the best episode of TV. So many fucking classics. Fucking Minecraft. We had our, you burnt all my pigs to the ground. Oh, yeah. Me and Eli played Minecraft together on Twitch. I had what they called an unethical farm.
There might have been. It was like a four by four square with like 50 pigs in it. That blur of pigs. For one, it's full of people. You shouldn't call them pigs. They're people. Feminists.
When we had like a 10 by 10 and I had like 400 pigs and then 400 sheep in the next one. And Batty's like drops one piece of fire or magma. No, I had the flint where you just go and just light shit on fire. And it was one and it was just like all the animals like, you just watch it spread like wildfire. And I'm building my house and I look through my window. I'm like, bat!
I'm just imagining just this farmer just looks out his window tire life's works just livestock everything's burning the ground just
The pickaxe For the longest time I would just walk around with that little lighter just lighting the grass around it on fire Just trying to fuck with Eli and then I accidentally I remember I didn't even do it on purpose I accidentally lit like the cow or like the fence on fire then it was just like all the animals I'm like I hate it when I accidentally light cows on fire Really really bums you out, you know Good news when they die the steak's already cooked Yeah, the sheep There was a lot of steaks Those sheep went up like a fucking The lamb, yeah that was That was
Them's meals ready to eat right there. There's just fucking literal. That's all it was. It's just a meat. Minecraft, man. Minecraft is like a turn your brain off and just four days later, you're like, dude, you lose all recognition of time and space. There's nothing, dude. Yeah. And you get to plan stuff without the FBI knowing. So it's a nice like in Minecraft, safe space in Minecraft. Yeah, it's fantastic. Yeah.
Everything's in Minecraft. Yeah, Minecraft is awesome. I love grape in Minecraft. Steve Weinstein. Steve Weinstein. His soulless eyes. Sad villager noises. But it's not that Minecraft music. It's a piece of shit. Yeah, babe.
Why am I getting great to this? This is more uncomfortable? I feel like you could turn that into like a horror trailer just like the slow panning out with the music How are you gonna stop this great this has a dark past From the mountains
- Hormgee. - This year, summer 2022, be prepared to meet Steve. - Hormgee 2. - The Tales of Steve. - What the fuck? Oh shit. - Speaking of Hormgee, how do you do it? - No, you. - No, you do it. - You've never done one. - Yes I have, I was starting and I handed off. - Exactly, you've never done one. Do the ad spot Eli.
This is a great ad read Hello, I am an ad ad reader. I am reading you this ad agilee now is ad Spacing ad out of regs out of regs adding space of adding what else with the admin wit with the one admin with the Z out of regs with the Z out of regs with the Here we have our out of regs ad spot, please go to out of regs calm and use code unsub
Is it just unsub now or is it unsub 20? Or cum 20. Or cum 20. It was cum 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To check out the new Smooth Operator Pomade. It's also a body wash and a shampoo and conditioner. And soon, Batty's going to have his own Flava Flav. There will be a new Batty scent coming to Out of Regs. Again, Out of Regs with a Z.
So use code unsub grab your pomades beard oils mustache wax Shampoos conditioners and everything else you love to put in and around your face boom and it smells fucking dope Eli Thanks for that input at the end of the ad read. See I passed it off in a way you he's Fucking brand use that I can luscious don't use that one. I love that one. No, I meant that particular can what? Wait, what'd you do to it? It's come
It's always definitely comes close this bag it smells really good actually there's nothing you thought this one I really like that one smells good. That's the noon. That's the new new what's your come now? This one's my favorite smelling it doesn't have that pearlescence of come you know medium shine come not a high It's not high sheen that real like everyone's good. Everyone's looking fucking clean boo boo out of Rex calm go get yours today
Okay there I interrupted talking about I don't know I ruined it. Thanks Eli. I just being raped by Steve okay, so Do you like? Okay, no better yet. Where did you start? What was like? Where was your first console? So I have older brothers. I'm the youngest of all my siblings. I'm my older brother. I'm 25 Oh my god. You're a fucking baby your first system was a Nintendo 64. No well, maybe playing like Mario. Oh
Was it like PlayStation 2? It probably was in 64. Like cousins or older siblings. Yeah. Probably was. And then Mario. Because mine was too and I'm 32. Oh.
I remember my brothers, I remember vividly being like young and my brothers are like a good age gap. They came home with like the OG Xbox and Halo combat. Oh yeah. So that was like, that was like kicking it off. And I remember like, so growing up, like within the Christian household, like I remember in that time point when everyone was like, dude, Halo's making a bunch of murderers out of these kids, man. Which is hilarious because it's like the most, uh, what do you call it? Just anti-Muslim game of all time.
Halo? Think about it. It came out right after 9-11. It's about a cult of aliens in another far-off place who have a suicide cult, and the American military has to go out and stop them before they blow themselves up and kill us all.
That was the only we're allowed to play in school We were we were able to can because like you we couldn't play Call of Duty We would have like game nights and shit in this because I was in a animation. Oh, yeah tech room We'd have game nights They were like for Friday night or whatever and we don't hang out and play fucking games The only one we'd get away with though was halo for shooters because
It's aliens. It's there's no blood. Yes. It's not even it's totally not real and there's no red blood in that cam Is there even when you shoot the Marines? I don't think there's blood in Halo 1. Yeah, I don't think so I don't think it's in the bodies like flying I thought you'd like if you like splatter or whatever like you fall from I thought you could beat the dead bodies Yeah, the Covenant ones 100% you'll just splatter like they're purple pink everywhere the Blues
Great colors. I fucking love that game. That was like the OG. You played that at like five years old, so you're like, you're using both hands to move one of the joysticks on the old juggernaut. What were those called? The OG Xbox controllers. I forget what they were called. The Duke. They were called the Duke. Remember how big those fucking things were? Like those...
moving forward and turning at the same time is like driving a caterpillar. And then you get the new Xbox controllers and you give your buddy that came over the old controller. God damn it, buddy. How are you driving a bug, bro? What the fuck?
I'm like, you're a bug slide with a big fat caterpillar, I guess, but that's weird. Oh, the tractor! He grew up poor and he was just playing with bugs and shit. I used to shove him in the back and be like, go forward and turn. I am not a smart man. But yeah, the Duke fucking... So that's your OG. What are your first games? You got the Xbox, the Nintendo 64, but what are those childhood games?
imprints where you're like gaming. Oh, dude, I think doing like LAN parties with your buds, man. LAN party, Halo stuff. That was my, that was my jam. I do remember, of course, Mono Fear 2. That was revolutionizing the way like
Being the young guy that I was I probably kick started my my Love affair with firearms also added some stuff to my vocabulary as well Yeah, well let me rephrase that not as more afraid to but the first called me for because there was always a world war two shooter before and it was always like Oh, we're two guns of course they're cool But then like with the modern shooter coming out that was like I think what came back in oh seven that I would have been like 11 Yeah, I was in war when you were 11 yeah, no it's
I'm no longer the young people. I know, not now. I'm an old dude. Well, I mean, it was just... Those made probably the largest imprint. They were fantastic. Those old games, I didn't get to play that until the end of deployment. Yeah, literally, I was like, end of deployment, and we're finally on the chill part, and we're actually on the fob, and I just got back from mid-tour leave, so we were about to go back out to the Cobbs,
and they had the MWR like gaming space for the people that lived at the Bigfob I was like yo played that was like video fucking dope as shit what is this holy fuck
This is dope. We're doing this IRL. I know. Well, that's the crazy thing. You'd see like all the people they're like playing and like excited and walking around and like, oh my God, they'd like see us just beat to shit. Like we had our guns are dirty as fuck. And they're like, oh my God, you leave the wire. I'm like, yeah, like I don't live in the wire. It's like you guys get a stay in the wire. Yeah, exactly. Like, bro, you're getting paid. Bro, you don't have to leave this place.
You're like, oh, here you're playing the game. You're like, hey, that kebab joint. That's right down the road. Yeah, I know that one. That's great. But it's crazy seeing that difference. I'm like, when that's all their job is, they just live there. I'm like, I mean, fucking you are smart. Yeah, you get paid the same as me. I'm the retarded one. Yeah.
So poor kids would you like to fight and die for a 10% discount at Denny's? Hey free one day a year I think there's a lot of veteran fuck with me right now. Is that actually a lot? Yeah veterans you get a lot of discounts everywhere Brandon is that true? Fuck? Yeah, probably America Yes
Let's circle back. Super informed. I saw it on the news. Has to be true. Oh, man. What was the last game? Okay. Was that... You got...
Fucking halo. Yeah, what other one is just like? Series dude battlefield series battlefield one was the best battlefield. I think they made wait 1942 that's my og but I mean we're one battlefield one was probably my favorites I don't know if you consider one of the best but I think it'd be a Top three easy
You didn't know. So back, man, you were... 1942 was wild. Did you ever play that one? Yeah. This is back in, like, the fucking... Was that, like, the Pacific one? No, this is... This is what, Counter-Strike era time?
I remember Counter-Strike 1 era of time frame of when it came out. It's old. I was talking about the Pacific. Was it Pacific Theater? Was that the one you were on like midway? Germany and both, I think. I mean, you had maps from both, yeah. I thought they had like North Africa maps too. Yeah, I think so. It was crazy. I just remember the windmill level. That's like the only one that's like really... The windmill level of World War II? 1942. Well, in Battlefield 1942, it was one of the only maps. It was a giant windmill. The windmill of friendship. Yeah.
An actual windmill. Yeah, it was a giant windmill. It was like a wooden... Yeah, it was a giant... That's where the snipers were. That's all I always remember. Like, those fucks are up there. We gotta shoot them. Or I'd run up there and be one of the snipers. I liked Battlefield 1942. My favorite Call of Duty was probably Call of Duty 1492. Where you discover America and kill all the natives. Yeah. It was a classic. Classic. It's weird. It's like hold the F key to sneeze on the locals. Yeah.
weapon of mass destruction. And then you just wait. Like your grenade is just a blanket. Yeah. Oh no. It's ours. Blanket. Now you wait six months in game. You win the battle. You have rest for six months. Good thing they taught us what corn is because we would not be surviving this winter. And turkeys.
At what point are we not gonna be allowed to watch Pocahontas anymore? When is that movie gonna be just cancelled? It's pretty based in several parts of it like I
They literally entire like song and dance numbers about savages, savages. Holy shit. I forgot. They went fucking hard. Disney goes hard to paint. If they, Disney will be like, yes, it's okay still. Yeah. But like, man, Disney's like twenties to the forties.
We don't talk about this. Nice mustache, Walt. Walt wasn't a fan of most people. Most people. Children are good. I just feel like they don't really have Walt's original vision in mind anymore. I'm like, well, yeah, he's got Jews running his company. I think he might have had some things to say about that.
He wasn't a fan of a lot of it. That's my favorite Family Guy clip when they go like, oh, I'm dressed so, I feel so happy. I'm so colorful, Brian. And then the Jewish guy in Family Guy. I don't remember. I know who you're talking about. We're talking about different skits. Yeah, well, he walks in. They're all dressed as Disney characters.
Have you seen that one? No, I don't think so. Oh, bro. When they're all dressed like the art style is done in Disney format. So it's all no family guy. Oh, no. I see where this is going. Yeah. The Jewish guys like, hey, guys. Oh, and then they're like, Drew and Brian and Stuart are like, I had time to go back to our time. Forgot about the whole Jewish thing. It was like, I like the one where they they go to they're visiting Auschwitz. And then they talk about like, well, you know, Walt Disney, blah, blah, blah.
Like, and they brought, they do the whole castle thing. It's like, oh yeah, and don't ride the train ride. Oh, no.
We live in a different time now. Dude, those were jokes that they made like 10 years ago and you can't do that shit now. 10 years is wild. I will die on the hill of retard. I won't let them take that. No. You've taken a lot of fucking words that I really enjoyed. And yeah, retards where I'll make my stand. I'll get canceled over that. That's your word. You're like, oh. Dude, I want. When is ginger? It's our word. It's ginger if you're not, you know. I'm a ginger. I can hard heart it all day. Hard heart it.
Long Beach Griffey is the one dude I want on this podcast. Who the fuck is Long Beach Griffey? Sounds like a crackhead. Bro, his content is... Like, that sounds like, oh, careful, there's Long Beach Griffey over there panhandling on the side. Long Beach Griffey's got his dick out again, guys. No idea. Everyone's like, no idea how this dude has not get canceled because he goes fucking... Like, we talking hard in the iDubbbz? Oh, yeah. He makes iDubbbz look like PG-13, like...
Go on. Like, his video... Well first you had my answers. I'm not showing anything, I'm showing the timer to his videos while this... Play another fucking video on your phone on this podcast! We can't, we can't do that. I'm just showing the last video because... Oh he's black, he can get away with it. He can get away with anything. Oh wow. Wait. I have seen this guy's stuff. I have actually seen him before. Yeah. Like, all... Cause he's the guy with the huge gap between his teeth.
And that goes a completely different way than you think it's gonna go. That's his new video he just put out, the top one. Oh I've seen- oh he's funny as fuck! Yeah! I want that dude on the fucking pod! Holy shit! His videos are fucking- Oh yes, absolutely. 100%. Like not PC at all. Like he goes, just, "Whoop!" Have you seen any of his stuff? No, but I'm gonna research this. You're gonna need to immediately. It's cool. The first one was when white people commit mass shooting.
Just so everyone knows what we were looking at. Long Beach grippy. He don't give a fuck. Clearly not. Dude, he goes, I was like, man, oh, he did that today. Okay, that was yesterday's post. Or he was sitting on a banger and he's just like, I'm just going to wait for another white kid to go crazy. Yeah. Do his wife. He has a school. When you're teaching the school shooter, like when you're educating the school shooter, he's like, okay, come hang out. We'll have a discussion on, okay, math.
And it goes. Oh, God. All his stuff. I'm like, oh, God bless. This is the comedy that needs to happen. Nope. No more. No more fun. No, the math. So, Mr. So-and-so, if I had a 123 grand projectile. Literally. Moving at 3,000 feet per second. If I had. Yeah, he does that with 30 rounds. He's like, if I have a 15 round magazine in classrooms, 45.
And you're like, "Holy shit, bro!" How many reloads am I gonna have to do? And the teacher's like, "Ha! Ha!" And you're like, "Jesus Christ, bro!" Good. You're good. Well, at least our schools ain't a fuckin' shooting gallery. Well, at least our schools... We-- fuckin', I ran into Theo Vaughn... I still have no idea who this is. Saturday. Theo Vaughn? Really? No, Theo Vaughn's pretty funny, dude. Yeah, he's-- he's pretty big. He does, like, Rogan and whatnot.
Yeah, I ran into him fucking Saturday. And then Monday on my flight home, I was with Chris, the other comedian, Chris. Good talk.
Chris, what's his name? D'Ella. Oh, Chris D'Elia. The guy who was fucking kids. Yeah. What? Yeah, he got in trouble for that shit. He was like Snapchat's with like 16-year-old chicks kind of thing. Like a year or two ago. My favorite part, though, is the podcast he was on where he found out they were talking about Snapchat and he's just like, well, how'd they find it? Oh my God, yeah. How'd they find it? Well, it was on Snapchat. Yeah, but...
Snapchat like the whole point it it goes away He's like no there's ways you can say it save it And it's just like a cut on his face because they like cut in on that one video. He just goes I need to talk to my lawyer Yeah, I just realized oh, I didn't hear about this you didn't yeah Yeah, and his he didn't even do his response was like I have a sex problem
Hey, you're supposed to say I didn't do it. Yeah, I'm secretly we're past that for him. Good God, R. Kelly. Yeah, it was passed, but there were 16, 17, which apparently wherever state it was, it wasn't illegal. So it was just a class, a lawsuit. Oh, well, if it's not illegal, go for it. Like, dude, don't let your dreams be dreams. Like if it's legal. No.
I said if it's legal. If it's legal. Hold on real quick. You gotta remember also we're younger too so.
That's not as big of an age gap. So, dude, even then I'm like, a 17 year old, I'm like, what am I going to talk about? It's not about the talking. How was fourth period? What'd you have for lunch? Oh, that is not what I thought. Oh, nevermind. Misunderstood that. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Like, how was your first period? I got it. I got it. I guess it technically could have worked either way.
Worked either way and this is the one that does it Wow just like that canceled off the bat. Yeah, don't go underground The rest of my beard off Oh, yeah, you got a beard that could be incognito. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was like Yeah, the tattoos are doing yeah hiding from anyone. Yeah, I really did kind of
Fuck for the dude with fucking hearts on his fingers is all you have to do I can just go full Danny Warsaw and block him out some of shame that I wrote fuck myself What do you what do you have on his knuckles? Fuck this fuck that like this or fuck probably one of those Danny, please
But he was a young kid. He was a rock star. This is a rock star. He's a kid. I love it. I don't see what's wrong with it unless I'm thinking four-letter words that I wouldn't want. Fuck this. Fuck kids. Yeah, okay, that's not good. Wouldn't do that. Block them out real quick. We'll swap them around. It says kids fuck. Oh, that's worse. I don't know. No!
Yeah, any identified tattoos for you? I got no tats yet. I have a few ideas that I want. Bro. I'm thinking an Azov battalion tattoo right there. Okay, so the swastika, apparently that's a bad idea. Okay. Big turnabout. Turns out, big turnoff. Women apparently don't like that unless they also have one themselves. I don't know. Argentine and Tinian women love that. Yeah, for whatever reason. I don't know why I couldn't pronounce that.
That was a real good, I like that. That was a three-layer joke. Historical. It was good if I could actually pronounce the name of the country. Argentinian? Argentinian? Okay, what is it? Argentinian?
Argentine? I like Argentine. Is it a paint you put on it? Mexi-Nazis? I don't know what you call them. Mexi-Can? Mexi-Kine? It's not Mexi-Can. It's Mexi-CAN! Argentine. Argentine. There it is. Is it Argentine? We were just saying that, right? Yeah. You're like five different phases. We covered this. I don't fucking know. In the comments below, please! Tell us how we pronounce this! Yeah, that's the time. Oh, we gotta give him a superpower! The offenders! Ooh.
So well, we don't give you a superpower. No, explain it. Okay, so we have a super group. It's called the offenders All right, all of us have superpowers like we have Eli here the brown streak. He is the fastest man on the planet. Mm-hmm
But unfortunately every superpower there's a drawback because we're not like the Avengers. We're not tear, you know that top tier shit We're good. We're not good. I'm not a good my I like don't don't this is always like the fucking leading one because But anytime he's using said super speed he's shitting himself just like a brown streak Yeah, not because he's Mexican but it's and cuz I'm a poop. Yeah, and he's Mexican Okay, donuts can fly don't he can just fly in all the place but to maintain flight. Yes to shout
Racist shit. Racial slurs. That one feels pretty easy.
Yeah, I do that anyway, so it's really pretty funny, but I paid mom for two yeah He just puts on his fucking brown crown and I swear to fucking god if one more person on the internet tells me I was never in a modern warfare to lobby like that I'm like you're full of shit, and you're lying. Yeah, that's a lot of virtue, bro You don't remember constantly all over everywhere on Twitch like I've never been in a lobby like that You're a lying piece of shit or a fucking liar. I said I have but I play
War zone still I'm still in lobbies like that Then it was a different time. That was accepted and encouraged. Yeah, you're like, oh my god So my superpower is I have super strength or I'm super loud. We talked about everything either way It doesn't matter the drawing is no matter what when I'm using said ability. I'm just coming uncontrollably. Yeah, so if he saves children Oh the problem, it's a loss Like mind control yeah
What else happened? I mean, you got mind control. You got invisibility. You got teleportation. Yeah. So what's yours? What's your new one? We'll tell you if it's been used before or not. Brandon kills himself. But I always come back. Like a flood. Depressed. He sleeps. Oh, that's the one for this episode. Yeah. It wasn't the swastikas of the raping. It was the. Yeah, we're fine with that. Okay. Just bleeps.
Yeah, that's cool. We like that. Yeah, that's good. Keep this in too. YouTube is wild. Oh, dude, this is tough, man. It's tough. It's tough. It's tough. I'm like deliberately thinking about this like this is actually going to happen. What if you could succeed on YouTube but couldn't show your face? Oh, dude. You already got your power. Well. Oh, God. God damn. And that segment's over. On to the next one.
Emotional damage it hurts dude it hurts. I'm really horny Come on with your superpower, let's go all right. Let's see let's see let's see uh Laser vision. Oh, oh Cyclops. Okay Superman Cyclops. I got a lie kid You can't open
Your eyes. *laughter* You just have to trust, like, "Okay!" Anytime you open them up, it's activated. It's always... Power's always on. You can't see titties again. Oh no. I can feel them though. You're like, "I'm cut! Oh, I..." *bark* Here's a knock at the door. "Hi, we're from the Church of the Latter Day Saints, would you mind..." *laughter*
Is that meme with the red eye? It's literally just a meme where it's like, dude, you're terminally based. That's good. There it is. He's got laser vision. Always on, though. He just has to walk around like this. What did I tell you, son? Oh, dad! Dad! He's just like, bam!
That ain't a bad one. Well, it's not a good one. Being blind kind of sucks. Hey, you're not- do I get to see while I'm shooting my laser beams? Yeah, that's the only time you can see though. Oh, dude. I just stared at the sun. A whole new reason for killing hookers. Yeah. Brand, what do you mean a new reason? What, like there wasn't one before?
I just picture you trying to sneak peeks even though this is connected to your retinas directly you're like there's like a naked girl on the side and you're like it's like the fishing trackers. She just cuts them in half and he's like fuck. Well that's way less hot now. Did you cut this girl in half? No. I mean it's very clear indicating two burn marks going this way. And also why did they go straight through her tits? Yeah.
Well, and it looks like you looked around shamefully for three seconds Judging from the burns in the ground behind her corpse and then they turned off right there Cause you're like, eh It's always like, right Wasn't me Who did that? Somebody should really stop that guy I'm blind Before more women I find attractive end up dead
Oh my god. Oh, he's just fucking... Oh, that power would actually suck probably the most. That'd be pretty bad. You're blind. Can I just come every time? Nah. To be fair, I didn't make up my power. These guys did. I don't know how I got lucky. I really did. It's like, man, I'm having a bad day. There's no day aside. Not even car. That's just what gym bros do anyway. Oh!
Matty's picking up toilet paper at this point. Let me just activate my strength with this empty... That's what gym bros do anyway. Just sitting there cumming on the bench press rack. It feels like I'm cumming. It feels like I'm cumming. Cumming's so good. Like, I'm cumming. I'm in the gym. I'm cumming. You see how it's like I'm in heaven all the time because I'm just constantly cumming. Any big projects coming up? Just the LARPs, man. It's always a LARP stain on top of them.
I think we'll probably hit the range tomorrow. We'll do the forbidden fruit larp. Yep, the forbidden larp. The forbidden larp. Oh man, you guys are doing it? Oh yeah. I need to fucking... I'm so bad at watching people's content. You should. Occasionally. I'm so bad at it. I usually catch y'all's videos, both of you, because it's always one after the fucking other. Because mics are too long. But... Hear that? Mic. Yeah. Mic.
But I enjoy my stuff. I enjoy my stuff. 1 a.m. 1 a.m. is where I, oh yeah, I mean, I watch every fucking video still. I definitely don't. Every single one. I have a problem. I'm enjoying his like, how to be deadly series. Like the whole like, the helmets, the like, recce shit, the urban survival. It's kind of neat. A lot of people seem to be enjoying those. Oh yeah.
I love his hypothetical. He's like, well, this is just, let's just say that the place that you're a guerrilla militiaman is based out of the continental United States for absolutely no reason. Just as hypothetical. Hypothetically speaking. In Minecraft. Now kiss. No fucking kiss. Don't mind if we do. That would have kissed him. Yeah.
This podcast ends with two dudes just banging while we talk. Hormie. Hormie. Cortunga. Oh, he showed his face. The other balaclava. The other balaclava? On the other head. Oh, no, I don't like this picture at all. That's when you reveal yourself. Three dudes around you. Hormie. Hormie.
It's just like, it's the balaclava of Bukkake. Bukkake still can't see his face, but... The balaclava of Bukkake. That's where I'm at in life right now. Yeah. That sentence right there, just like, how you doing? I'm like, well, balaclava of Bukkake. Hey man, how you doing? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, we need to do. Okay. I need to watch fucking the LARPing videos because I have no idea in my head what these fucking look like. So for one, I just, I'll give you a brief description. So for one, I just did, I did the IDF LARP.
Which is, uh... So he shot a child in Gaza. Yeah, in the Gaza Strip Club. That's awesome. So that was one of the... Gotta warn somebody before you drop those. Yeah. With some of this stuff, you just gotta lean into it and commit, man. With some of this stuff, you can't be like, well, Lil is a politically controversial... You just gotta be like, alright, today we are SS marching into frame, and we are going to have the proper video. So you just gotta...
go full send so when i ask to actually be a permanent host because i need an income source because our video gets my oh you're already getting canceled yeah i'll have like the thanos like collection of cancelled channels last one
Okay, so that sounds actually fucking dope. I am banned from YouTube headquarters. All the gun tubers are like, I don't feel so good, Brandon. What is it? Mr. Matt, I don't feel so good. Mr. Character, I don't feel so good. Oh, no. Batty, do your fucking thing. Wait, oh, do we? No, we'll do it. No, before or after? Okay, get it.
for watching this podcast. As always, we have Eli Double Tap. Donut's not here today, as you can tell. I am Batty Streams. We have our part-time co-host, Brandon Herrera.
The AK guy and our very very very special guest administrative results Please tell everybody where we can find you on the internet. You find me on YouTube at administrative results or on Instagram administrative results I am probably shadow banned on Instagram though. I also have a Twitter, but you have a Twitter. I did with Twitter. I love Twitter Yeah, I'm gonna have to Twitter fucks now Twitter fucks now do Twitter is fucking fun now. I was like oh, thank God verified by the way They won't even let you apply unless you're over the 100k
So as soon as I got over, I applied. Imagine being verified with only 36K. That's me. All around me are familiar. Thank you for watching the podcast. See you next time or something. Cheers! Oh, perfect. And now we got this.
Batty is just like, hey, also, I don't schedule when they come. If you can hear it, he scheduled the landscapers at the same time to film a podcast. I'm going to go yell at my cousins real quick. Yeah, right. We can go do it. That's fine. Yeah, Brandon, you might know one. I might know the other. We can take care of this. Sorry, audio listeners for. They can't hear that. Is that why the thing is peaking? Hold on.
