47 - Big Bad Dragons ft. Heather Lynn
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Welcome to Untapped Crap. Okay, now you're good. That old dude. I mean, not really, but it's fine. Is it centered? No, not at all. What? It's not? No, not even close. I'm looking straight ahead. That is perfect! That is not perfect! I'm right! It's fine. What do I know? I don't know anything. Why do we do that in a camera angle like that? Why? Where would the negative space want to be with your face? If you're having a conversation point, why?

It's fine. It's fine. Do it. Do it, Cody. Ow. My leg. I can't do it. My jaw just doesn't open that wide. Heather, you gotta work this man's jaw a little bit more. Okay. Yeah, give me that back. It's gonna be one of those episodes. Say hi to Eli. His racially ambiguous daddy. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Donut.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching Unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or...

That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything.

And a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. Are you just drinking vodka? No, it's to miss Cal. Do you drink like anything else? No. That's it. Everything else makes me sick. It tastes like a booty. Actually, I can't say that because I eat ass. Don't we all. Oh, shit.

That was funny. Dude, mezcal is disgusting. Ass is so much better than mezcal. Ass is way better and then you just carry around... So is this a... Let me think. Monday and you carry around a bottle of mezcal.

Do we need to have an inter... That's today's episode. Intervention. Heather's intervention. I mix this liquor with water. You guys are chugging White Claw. How do you think that you're better than me? We have two of these. And it's for show. There's actually no alcohol in this. You're like... Monday! Monday!

He's starting off hard right now. Look at this dumb bitch. Yeah, this isn't alcohol. This is just regular water. Yeah, God. We put it in here. Liquid death. Before we pop everyone, we put in carbonated water. Yeah.

How are y'all calling me out when last fucking show, Batty just turns the bottle up and pours half of it into the fucking... She's the history teacher now, bringing up old shit. He has moved on. I got a lot of shovel, motherfucker. He is reminding me about such a dark time in my life where I was depressed and drinking. Thank you, Heather. He moved on. He is so much better. We got him help. From two weeks ago? Hold on to the past, Heather. Wow. Drink more.

Take more, okay? Cody, do the help. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Batty Streams, Eli DoubleFap, and the wonderful... Alcoholic. Sasha Gray. Sasha Gray. I'm joined today by Sasha Gray. She also has a Twitch channel. Twitch channel? It's called Heather Leno. Oh, God. Heather Leno. So where'd the O come from? It's an abbreviation. Cody knows that one. I'm pretty sure... I was going to answer it seriously. Yeah!

That was good. That was good. Oh, man. That was good. Oh, yeah. We care about your story, too. No. No, Hila, you literally did this last time. Remember, you doxed her to everybody on the internet. Did I? Yeah, straight up. On what? On her last name? Did I say her last name? Did I?

Oh, God. I don't know. Did we? Heather Lynn? You have the second most watched one of our podcasts, right? I think so. Second or third? I think I'm tied with Brandon. I think it's third now. Yeah. We had like four bump up past Heather like in the past two days. The one with Brandon Herrera.

I think there's been a few. Multiple. Multiple Brandon's. Brandon's always do well. Brandon's weird. Brandon's killed it. Yeah. That one without Batty just skyrocketed. Is that 800,000 views? I'm really not liking this. Y'all's tones changed. Really shit on Batty. Brandon too. I will say last episode of the two before I like watched the beginning, I was like, man, these are so funny, man.

We're really meeting to bat. Yeah, we're really meeting to bat. I was having a rough fucking month.

Do you all ever have that hindsight with me or just like fucking dumb bitch? No, he's never registered a suit. This is the first time looking at baddie. I was like, I felt bad for him. And then he sat down and started talking. I was like, this is why we're mean to him and why Cody doesn't talk when he's around. That's why I always face the other guests. That's why we have a separator in this side of the podcast. You know one of the things like when you're a kid in elementary school and you're taking a test, little dividers. Bro, yeah.

I'm going to put one up right here in front of Betty. It's like, I can see over it. Shut up, you. Playing split screen on Nintendo 64, you just put a piece of cardboard up. Tape a sheet. You just, you open up the white claw box and it's just like, shut the fuck up, Betty. Just stop. I don't want to fucking hear it. It's just open. It's cut out.

Right here though, just so I can see us. Like I fucking hate the rest of you. It's like a horse blinders Oh, they're baddie blinders Oh my god, welcome. Hi, you've been here What we're using you for is again clickbait because you perform very well this time

I know. Left the tits at home. I know. I left the tits at home. Can we stop the podcast real quick? Donuts. Switch your shirts. Cody looks jacked as shit right now. Working out, bros. Thank you. Welcome, you.

Thanks for bringing your tits today. Yeah, I brought my tits today. Is that an uncomfortable point? I'm like, okay, she went an extra button. I'll just make eye contact right here while I talk to you, Heather. That's great. We just talked to Cody from now. Yeah, you can't listen to me.

Cody's looking away and saying, Cody, you see those? That's a very interesting topic. Bro, it's not fair. We're discussing. I just want to stare at tits. It's not fair. That's great. Welcome to the podcast. What is your view? The camera doesn't even show my face anymore. We just blurred out. It's just a chest, and we put a mirror image of her chest up here. Oh, God. Hi, guys. Welcome to Unsubscribe.

We've made it to episode... 46? We got Leon Lush coming next. Do we spoil those things? Yeah, fuck yeah. Oh my god. We're gonna do another hard fucking reset. Hold on. We'll be right back. Heather, I love Cody so much! Have you seen our new merch? No. Everyone's head just...

Check out the new shirt design! Heather, shout- shout- Come subscribe. Why'd you say it like that? 'Cause it's- "Come" is like "Come!" It's like "Come subscribe!" It's very aggressive. Oh god, this is gonna make such a good clip on the Clip Show. God, your porn. Or your- your guys' is- sorry, corn. I mean it. I cannot wait till we have Sasha Gray on the podcast. I can't wait to just- poor John when he's upstairs and he just hears Heather yelling "COME!" Cody's like "Okay!"

Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't tell you about John's classmates. But anyways, we'll talk about that. Oh, that's good. Oh, yes. So we got Pokemon.

Badge Hunter. Poke Bowls, which contain fish and stuff if you're looking for a healthy recipe. Also, our new merch is out. Basic unsubscribe on the olive drab type green shit. Oh, so good. Batty. No American flags on the sleeves. We're the Adventurer Frogs. Let's go. Look at these cute little bastards. God, look at it. It looks so good. My little one. My personal favorite. Oh, yeah. It's so weird. I can't see it.

It's a great shirt design, Heather. Yeah. I wonder if the middle frog talks to the rear frog. Which one of you has the best cartoon? You know that middle frog's not a fan of the back frog. He barely says anything to him on their adventure. My hunter pet is staying as far away from the back frog as possible. He almost looks like Eli's pet. Remember when you guys said you made fun of me too much earlier? Yeah.

Yeah, if you guys didn't catch that podcast do we know what episode that was which one the where we got the tattoos Oh We all got tattoos on one of our earlier. It was like 20 ago, right? Yeah Yeah, we all got tattoos and they didn't tell me I was what we were doing I show up and they're like you're getting a tattoo. Oh cool. They're like, oh, but you're getting it on your ribs. Oh

So I have the hunter frog because I've always played a hunter class in games Eli of course is the warrior with the berserk sword and then Batty is the mage So what the fuck is that? I'm a weasard There are adventurer frogs Is it like a Dungeons and Dragons thing? Sure, it's whatever your imagination is RPGs Heather, fuck It's like in RPGs you always have a hunter class, a wizard class, and a warrior class Yeah, and a healer class but no one plays those

What games do you play, Heather? I don't know. I'm like in a whole different level of nerd. You all are like up here with the nerd-dom.

Nerd them no one's gonna complain if you lean into the mic and talk to it with your new shirt from unsubscribe That's very important bunker branding slash No, but this comes out two weeks will be good by then but the link will be on the

I'm the thing. Right here. Fuck, do your job. We love you. Boom. Okay, Heather, you've been playing what game now? You've been... Devour, predominantly. I suck. I'm at the final map and just keep fucking dying. It's like this demon spider and she just keeps butt-fucking me every time. You can hide, but then if you... Depending on her mood, she can even get you in the closet or places that are specifically designed for you to hide. Let's rewind. Okay, you said you were like...

You just like skipped over you're like the Bible Jesus dies and then the end of times we need to rewind to what the game is Very cool cultist

who's joined a cult and one of the members is possessed by a demon and you have to sacrifice different things depending on the different levels. So like, like you sacrifice goats on one map and then the next one is you have to electrocute, um, mice or rats or whatever. And then the third one is torture game. Yeah. You're a cultist. I'll,

I watched you with the goats. You literally picked the goat up and put it in a fire. You put it in an altar and you light it on fire. So you have to douse it in gasoline and then light it on fire. And then in this last one, you get these eggs that are like tainted and you have to like pour the solution into a pond and then untaint, unfuck the eggs. And then you put the eggs on their respective altars. And then she just

progressively gets more and more angry and she's like this giant spider demon and these Demon spiders come up from hell and they try to it sounds like you're the bad guy right now No, these demon spiders are trying to weird because you're fucking Sacrificing stuff you're summoning demon you have to banish the possessed cultist you have to banish her back to hell What the fuck it's pretty naughty. It's gnarly Devour it's it's a super super jumpscare jumps like

jump scare to the 10th degree. Like it's the worst. I thought phasmophobia was bad. And then I started playing devour and I was like, Oh, phasmophobia is fucking nothing. Child's play. Yeah. Cause even when, even in phasmophobia, when you die, it's just the hands that come over the screen and it's like, okay, that's a little creepy, but like the jump scares are fucking gnarly. She's like in your fucking face screeching. Well, they're like, they're like 10 feet away from you too. And you'll kind of see them and then they'll just,

Like I've seen you playing it. Your clips are fucking hilarious. Yeah. I'm going to have a fucking aneurysm one of these days. She freaks the fuck out. It's awesome. So Cody was talking about this at lunch. You make weird sounds when you're afraid. Oh, you do the high pitch thing, but you're like trying to talk, but you're not talking. And it's like. You're like a retarded pie pie. You're like a mower curling. I'm scared and I'm screaming and I'm trying to also talk to my team. But the lunch is coming up.

Donnie from the wild thornberry

Yeah, when we're streaming at the same time, like there's two doors in between us. She's downstairs. I'm upstairs and my chat can hear her screaming when she plays that game. It's terrifying. People are like, what the fuck is that noise? It is like Donnie. It's an exact Donnie. These people are literally gonna... Actually, I feel like I can find a fucking... Oh, we'll get a clip. Throw up a clip of her doing that. I don't know where to go. Ha! Ha ha ha.

Never played this game, so I have to look into it. It's pretty awful. And then people are telling me that I should try playing it in virtual reality. And I'm like, that's the last thing I would ever do. That's a good idea. Which next week on Heather's stream, you can she's going to be stay tuned because she's going to be playing that game in VR on Cody's

What's the VR setup you have? Vive. I got the Vive. Wait, isn't that one broken? My hands are sweating just thinking about that. It adds that complete... I think we've discussed it before. That is the only time it adds a complete new level of terror. Because you put that VR. You're immediately... I'm like, I have a hard enough complaint. It's like I'm literally sitting there just sweating. And by the time I've not played it and went to sleep. Yeah, and not had nightmares. I take the game into my sleep.

It's fucked up. Okay, Freddy Cougar. Literally. It's awful. I dream about zombies and demons and I'm like, God, I wake up and he's like, you just How is that different from your normal dreams? I have,

Weird you dream about fucking demons and stuff. She's like, I just don't know where they come from. Have you seen my skull collection? This is a goat. Here's the entire ram I'm boiling right now. She's in the back of the room. Stirring a cauldron of flesh and muscle and blood. That's literally what happened. Yes, I know. Cody, you kicked the pentagram salt. Can you put that back? Thank you. Back to this. Oh, God.

John, give me your hand. Squeezes John's tongue out. Bad Hunter took more blood. John, you're a virgin. You're the only one around right now, bro. Oh my god. John is safe, everyone. John's okay. He's like, hey guys. He has a band-aid right here. Oh god.

It sounds like you're really loving that game. It's fine. No, it's awful. And you've been playing it too, Cody? No, I haven't been playing it. You played it with Caleb, right? Caleb Francis? No, he's about to next time. I can't get him to commit to it. I think he has this weird thing with demons and shit. I don't know. Maybe. He's from the South. Yeah, he played Phasmophobia with me. That was fucking hilarious. And when he died, I pretty much was just like,

I'm like, I'm about to fucking just kill myself because playing that game by myself was not fun. And he's like, okay, I died. It's up to you. And I'm like, no, we're not. No, it's like, oh, back in the truck. We're taking a wild guess as to what kind of fucking demon this is. You're not going back in there. Banshee, I was wrong. Fuck it. We're dead. We're dead.

Wrap it up. We're going. We've got to go. It's up to you to go in the demon house by yourself. And I was like, no, we're not playing that. It's just like the backside story. That's like literally it's like all your friends are murderers. Go back in and discover what demon's next. Or hear me out. There's gas. Burn it down. It starts. The car starts. We leave. Yeah.

We do an Instagram post. We get some likes. That's literally the end of Phasmophobia. I miss you guys. You have to try to figure out what kind of demon or ghost it is. And then when you get back into the truck, you have to guess. And it'll tell you if you're right or you're wrong. Using clues from the game. It's a lot of fun. I don't know if fun is a word. Play it in VR. It's a lot of fun. Play it in VR. I'd sooner play that in VR than Devour.

You know what would be a good podcast? We go to a haunted place, we have our mics instead of in completely dark different rooms and we have to talk to each other. Like, hey, we're doing a podcast. We have to do that. That's a fucking great idea. We get a pop-up table. Dude, our podcast is big enough to get a little bit of pool at a haunted mansion or a haunted prison. We're asking our guest question in different rooms because we don't do it together and it's all just dark other than like one light. You just see Heather's eyes, she's like...

Dude, okay. If I'm wearing a crucifix, nobody can stop me. We go to Charleston, South Carolina. It's one of the most haunted cities. It's my favorite place ever because the food is fucking amazing there. They have a haunted prison there. And my nephew came out of there with scratches on his back one time. Yeah, and his girlfriend was like, as long as it's dark, it has to be there. Like, inconsolably sobbing. And like, we couldn't, they never figured out why. Oh, there, that was the reason. Babe, where'd you get these scratches from? What?

A ghost. They have so many ghost prisons there. Like, were they... Ghost prisons? That's where they had the bad ghosts go? They kept the bad ghosts there.

No, there's just so many prisons. Lots of minority ghosts in that prison. Oh, God. Punch him in the face. They just killed a lot of people that probably shouldn't have been killed. Yeah. That's cruel. Because Charleston is one of the oldest cities in America. Oh, yeah. It's fucking... Dude, let's go to Charleston. I love it. I hope the IRS isn't listening. We can just ride all the way. I mean, it's... No.

This is a write-off. This is literally... There's a haunted place in Louisville, Kentucky called Waverly Hills Sanatorium, and it's an old tuberculosis hospital. And they had like a death shoot where they literally would just throw bodies down this death shoot. They have paid... I'll wear a mask there. You pay to go, and you can stay overnight and do whatever the fuck you want. Oh my God. That's a good one, too.

It's to a point of where they have a little ball that you can throw to the ghost children and shit. It's fucking terrifying. I used to hear stories and shit. Heather, you get to see all her faces. We're all in individual rooms. It cuts to her face. She's like, okay, guys, I'm ready. It cuts to us. We're in a nice trailer. We left you there, bitch. It's locked. Okay. We need two hours. Talk. There's a ball. There's someone playing catch. What's the prank show where they tell their friends what to do?

The... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. The doors are locked. Heather's just like trying to get out of this. We set cameras in every room. We spent a lot of money on this production. We're going to ask you questions. Also, there's spicy wings. Just try one at a time. This is for episode two. We don't know how it's going to do. We're rolling them down.

I want to do this so bad. Just like pitch black in the dark with like just a single light in the middle of the table. Or we do the green, the night vision type stuff where we can't even see what's going on. I would literally pass away. We're trying to have a conversation about video games for an hour.

Ghosts react to come we do directly underneath the fucking death shoot where they threw TV page. That's where she goes. I love it One table Heather will walk in a room somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah, you just see this cord She's fine everyone

Heather, stop screaming. That's not me. Die quieter, Heather. Jesus. Sorry, everyone. Unplugs are. She's like literally in the middle of getting possessed. And you guys are like, shut the fuck up. Heather, you're way funnier. Like five minutes ago. Shut the fuck up. Cody hit her.

Batty performs a bad exorcism. And he's possessed. Mother, father, son, mother. How does it go? It just spreads. This podcast sucks. It sounds like episode two.

Oh man. That vision doesn't work. It's just a black screen for the entire hour. That audio's bad too. Well, yeah, obviously. Welcome to unsubscribe. Oh my god, the jingle. It's black. It does the jingle and it just immediately cuts back to, oh. Daddy is fucking possessed.

Dying. Oh, I love this idea. See, this is... Batty, why is it so hot in your house right now, bro? I'm sweating, too. See? Bro, Batty, this is like 80 degrees. This is why my house is always super hot. I usually remember to turn it down before you guys come over. My bedroom is 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the house. This house is like 90 degrees right now. My bedroom's like 60. What do you do in the summer? I haven't been here in the summer. Oh, no.

Good thing this is where we have our podcast set up. I know. Let's get a studio. 90 balmy 98 degrees, right? Dude, Matt said he'd go in on the studio. We need to just do it.

Bruh I started getting warm I was like why am I so warm right now? I keep sweating thinking about these video games and I'm like maybe I'm just sweating. Cause you're like why is your shirt so sweaty? Well it's fucking 100 degrees. It's only 74! Hotbox. What the fuck? Bruh it's definitely not- and there!

Yeah, probably in there. Right here, it's a cool, balmy 98 degrees. I feel like we're in Florida. We have clouds forming up fucking on the top of your small ass ceiling. He's got like a little humidifier in that other room. He refers to lizards.

Yeah, exactly. You got your fucking tropic weather in there. Because I love, I got to take care of them. Oh, you're such a good dad. I love my lizards. They don't love you. They're reptiles. They have no basis of love. I'm going to show you guys feeding them after this. It is the craziest shit to watch them like eat. Oh, yeah. They're like shooting their tongues across it trying to like. Oh, yeah. The chameleons got that cool tongue. That's so fucking cool. Hell yeah. You put peanut butter on your. Tip of your penis. With the chameleons.

They don't suck. They have teeth and they bite. That little flick, it's just like, oh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

- He just did a "ooh". - I expected for me like, but you do. - I just want that artwork, ooh, ooh. You have that, that heart cutting to the lizard's face, it was like, "Hooker, ooh". - It's just like the T-Rex. - Where the fuck did Peter, they're lizards, they're not a dog.

Don't eat peanut butter. Sorry, what do you use? He shoves a fly in his pistol. He just puts flies on his penis. All the flies have glue. This is a Reddit post that I did not want to be involved in. All the flies have glue on their penis. It's worse than the cum box. Have you seen pictures of the cum box? Yeah. I hate that. We've been on Reddit, man, for a while. That cum box. That one bothered me for a while. That was, I mean, there's some, Reddit has those good posts.

And then we got a doggie. She's an owie. She's a girl. She's a stinky girl. What up, stinky? I mean, you do smell like a dog. She's got long hair. She's got a lot of fucking hair. She's got the hairiest elbows I've ever seen. Hairy elbows. Hairy elbows, dude. Oh, Batty, you're in fucking second, third, fourth place. You are in the last round for... Second to last round. Second to last round. I guess there's three, but whatever. There's the quarterfinals, semifinals, and the winner.

for the shaker the shaker is next round so whoever wins there's two people going from the quarterfinals of the semifinals for the big g fuel competition that i'm in right now and if i make it to the next round

I get my own like Batty themed shaker cup that G Fuel will sell and shit. As much as it pains me to say this, Batty did really good on his content. I did really good. The end goal is to get the shaker with your name on it. Yeah, well, I mean, that's the end goal is there's a grand prize, which nobody knows what it is. They said there's a super, super, super grand prize for the winner. Gotcha, gotcha.

And we think it's like a flavor like they're gonna do like because they do content creator themed flavors And we think that's it because everybody they selected for the entire competition. Nobody has their own thing yet So that's what we think but we don't know you slime that yeah, I wore a Sailor Moon costume I was so proud of you not happy with myself and thank you guys for your support

would do. Yeah. I mean, he does have that costume. I've had that costume for two years in my closet in a bag and I'm just like, never going to do it. Somebody sent it to me. I was like, never going to do it. You had that costume before I had that. Yeah, I've had, I've literally had that costume since Vermont. Yeah. Yeah. See, it makes sense. It makes sense with me. I do.

Baddie on the other hand. The whole point of the latest round was to recreate or make a trending TikTok, basically. So take a TikTok trend, something good, and make a trendy video out of it. And I think I did pretty good. How's it doing on TikTok? It's like 80K right now. TikTok loves you. You get away with a lot. No shit. That fucking ammo post still baffles me.

Like the one where he's opening the Russian ammo can? And he's just like, Zay, come open up your present. I just yell at Zay. It's like 5.5 million views. You're straight shooting a minigun, right? Yeah. And they just kept that up and it's got millions of views. And I'm like, I get butt fucked if I even like mention a gun. Well, I also have a lot of gun posts that get taken down. Like it's pretty 50-50 if I get a post to stay up. Like I have one with me just going doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, snapping a double barrel closed and firing it twice. Yeah.

That one got fucking banned. I got a strike or some shit for that one. They were mad about that one. You should appeal all of them. Oh, absolutely. The minigun one got taken down. I appealed it. Every one of my gun posts I have to appeal. Like, there's no...

everyone i just i don't know what means i can like what i'm allowed to do yeah yeah we were we were talking about it too is that what tick tock doesn't like is ars like you can have minigun shotgun i have whatever i got away with an ak okay but if you have an ar that's what they really don't like well that is the dangerous one out of all the

That's that one. I was listening to the Joe Rogan, Mr. Beast podcast and they were just, I know I've been listening to it for a week now. They were talking about how TikTok content is curated for Chinese people versus Americans. Like in China, kids aren't able to get on TikTok from 10 a.m. to like 6 p.m. or something like that. And then when they have the content on there is like science, mathematics, like all the stuff that can better you. And they purposefully push like

people twerking to fucking bullshit in the United States. Oh, I guarantee mine is nothing but eating ass and tits and goth girls. So like, thanks, Trina. Yeah. But you were part of their war on America. Dumbing us down. Fucking kill me. Algorithms are so weird. That's like you and you don't want to like we've discussed it like, yeah, like we are.

Minus how you think this podcast is with every cum shit, everything we do, we're still very, we still watch the algorithm because it's the very like, how do we do this the best we can? Because you were talking about Mr. Beast and how-

That dude, like, watches every little thing on how he handles his content. Yeah, dude, I fucking, because I sat down with him at VidSummit and talked to him for a little bit. The way he does his content is absolutely fucking insane. It's like if there's a lull where someone's just talking, they'll throw someone in with, like, a red shirt or something to catch your attention or just throw some emojis here or there just so you keep watching every second of the video. God, we're going to need red shirts for our whole podcast, just the whole time. That's what your beer is for.

There you go. See? Just punch in real quick. We are a bunch of fucking retards, but behind the scenes, analytically, we focus a lot on keywords and trying to push our content the best way possible. Yeah, dude. Analics. Analics. Yeah, them analics. Very cool. And everyone has different because she has on your TikToks and Instagrams

Your Instagram crush is pretty decently across the board, right? It's up and down. Like for a while, I was just completely like static with growth. And then I don't know what happened. Like four months ago, I was going up like. Cody. What? She's a guest. No, no, no. Jesus Christ. I thought that's what you were doing at first.

No, Ari was doing the little... Like, is this a new kink? I'm not doing it. You're a good girl. You're a good girl. You sit there.

Yeah, my growth then all of a sudden shot up and I went up like fucking 30,000 followers in a couple of months. And then I'm back down to being static. And it was right after I posted that throwback video of Matt and I that was like dating someone anti-gun or whatever. And I was like, I just fucked myself by throwing that up. But yeah, my TikTok's like up or down. It's so hit or miss with like what I post, what's trending, what time I post. It's so weird. It's fucking weird. I hate it. I hate it. Just because like you never...

Really? No. Yeah. Cause roll that fucking dice. You just roll that fucking dice. Just have fun. Yeah. There's like no free speech apps. There's just nothing where you can just post whatever, you know, short of like, you know, slurs and like whatever the fuck, like we can't post. It's just so weird. Like it's not like frowning on gun content to alcohol drinking content. Yeah. Yeah. You can't post like anything like that. Like how is the drink? I'm like,

Is it one day is it gonna be unsubscribe where we just pop wadi? I'm the only one drinking alcohol right now because I'm the alcoholic. I'm the only alcoholic at this table. I'm glad you brought it back up to this. So your intervention.

That's what's next. We're glad you came. Heather only drinks Mezcal, which tastes like burned tires. It's not. I have a refined palate. It's a refined palate. This is the cheapest bottle that I've bought and it's $40. Typically, I'll spend $80-ish on a really good bottle because I like...

Enjoying the finer things in life good coffee good liquor. I'm not gonna buy cheap shit. That's my asshole on fire This is tequila that smells of old wood Legit just tastes like smoke. There's not a smoky hint. It's just like fuck man Watch watch listen, it's a it's It is the it is the like single malt scotch of the tequila world. Oh

Stop it. Fucking 80-year-old Mexicans drink that. Well, then I need to go hang out with the real Mexicans. I need to go find my new best friends. Mija, come here. Drink the mezcal, mija. Is it good? Okay. I can do it because I'm Mexican. You all can laugh at it, I think. I don't know the rules on that one. I'm always laughing.

Anytime I need a hyped up Mexican or Asian voice, I call you. I'm like, can you do this for my video? Yeah, sure, man. You got the best of both worlds there. I know. He's like, hey, I need an autistic joke. Say it out loud. I text it to you. Can you just repeat it? Cody, please stop posting a picture of Raiden with you. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

What's the slur for ginger

I think it's ginger. You exist. That's the swear. Daywalker. Batty. Batty. Oh, God. I think I've said this before, but don't search up Batty on Twitter. Or do. Yeah. Just go to that search bar and type in Batty and hit enter and see what happens. That being said, if you guys could start Photoshopping his face and head on,

What pops up and batting? Yeah, no, I'm not even faced by that anymore.

I don't like it. I've been drawn as a chick so many times at this point. There's a man who has me tattooed at, there's a man that has me as a chick tattooed on his thigh. With the American flag? Yeah. And it's like big, this whole ass thigh. It's so weird because I feel like even though I get like a gratuitous amount of like a large influx of weird messages, the dudes that I know get like way more like hardcore, like you and Caleb specifically. Yeah.

The amount of men that are willing to risk it all for you guys. - I'm just waiting for Caleb to come out.

Think all of us are yeah, that's wink. That's my favorite tweet. He did he was like Still not gay just letting you all know I tweeted like four hours later. I was like what about now? Show me his inbox like last time he was at my house like two weeks ago and

That dude's a bear. It's straight up just like dudes spreading their buttholes. That dude's a bear. You just picture that with that light voice, that Caleb voice. I don't picture that at all. I don't ever picture that. I hope not. You have to picture him spreading open Caleb. Oh my God.

But yeah, he was in my house. He was like, this guy sent me a picture and it was just his butthole and it was all purple. And I just wanted to be like, man, you need to go see a doctor. Fucking Caleb Slate, little boys. Fucking love it so much. Yeah, boy, I just love him. Stop sending Caleb butthole pics. What's wrong with y'all? I like Batty didn't say do anything for you. I don't get butthole pics. Now you are. Now you are. I'm not sending Batty.

Everyone. Lizard got you. Betty, what's your type of guy? Like, if you had to pick a type, are you talking like petite, Caleb size, like,

You look like a Donut

Send them butt hole pics of your boy. Bro, I got banned off Tinder. How did that happen? Bro, I don't even know. What did you do? Two days ago, I literally, I know what I think it was. I uploaded the pic of me in the G Fuel tub and I think I got flagged for nudity and they just straight banned my ass. Because it was right after I did that. I didn't get a chance to fucking do anything. I didn't have fun.

You sound actually a little irritated. You're gonna have to hit up the bumble crowd Bumbler hinge they have to talk to you first. It's hinge the famous. No is there a famous people There is one specifically for influencers and famous people. Oh, I need that one. I can't remember what the fuck it's called Ryan was - oh, that's the one you pay for That's a different one. You had to pay for that one rich. Can I use clout? People who use that is an Austin, Texas anyway

They have the one that's only for successful people too. Oh, I'm out. Yeah, it's like... I'm out. It... What is the name? Batty's getting matched with CEOs. No, you... I think you have to prove your income to fucking... Yeah. It's weird. You have to make a good chunk. Yeah.

Like here you go, but it costs like 10 grand or five grand to sign up. What? Do it, man. I'll sponsor you. I don't know if pussy worth that much. Dude, if we can make a video out of it, I'll sponsor you. Done. Oh my God. Pussy's not worth that much. Oh my God. Wait, can we make Batty look like a CEO of Unsubscribe? We'll do like photo shots. Can I hold a clipboard with papers on it in one? Yeah, you're just like watching us do the podcast.

You're off like you have data and analytics you're giving a class to us This is great content right here we can put it on the vlog channel sponsor it absolutely oh my god Yes, and your first dates here in this chair

And we get an interview. God, man. I better be somebody I don't actually like. I just imagine you, like... That's nailing somebody to a cross right there. There is no coming back from that. Like Step Brothers, where they were in the fucking... Hello! You shut up. You shut up. First of all, you're wearing a tuxedo to an interview to be a janitor. Fucking that's fatty. Oh, it'd be so good. Oh, and then also we have the video when it comes out. It should come out Friday.

Her. So what meat Canyon we had on last week, which was a phenomenal episode. Damn. That Papa meat went ham. It's fucking hilarious, man. Dude. I just like watching him just slow, just coming out of that bubble. Yeah. And you see his dark side when he, uh, his, uh, the black rifle makes his cartoons though.

Well, he got a little whiskey in his system, and it was awesome. And then when we got to Matt's house after, and he was just ripping into everyone. It was hilarious. Bro, he had no filter. He was just like, I'm going to have fun. And then he did the Black Rifle commercial. Let's hear the Black Rifle commercial that he made up for us. Hammered slurring his words. He's like, sup? Mom and daughter. They get in a car wreck. Daughter dies.

Mom looks and she's like, well, thankfully I had black rifle coffee this morning.

I hope he makes that. Thanks, Hunter. I was like, dear God, he is now in his dark place. You just got to watch. It's just like watching the decline. I was like, oh, I got here way too late. But we were laughing so hard. Dude, I was like 20 minute about like, yeah,

us and random shit. And it's like, we...

it was fucking hilarious we all just shut the fuck up and listen to him it was it was dude that creative brain you get to see where it goes it's like oh this is when you write down voices don't ever quiet down i was like you've got homeboy yeah it was weird to watch that in real time like you could see the gears turning in his head and it's like you this is where it all comes from okay yeah i get it i get it now oh it's so nice it was so good but he uh we had that episode and then

I think this week your challenge video will come out this week and then your podcast comes out next week. Oh, what we're doing today? I mean, oh, yeah.

That timeline doesn't even make any sense because this doesn't matter. Listening to this, it'll be fine. They'll be fine. They'll get over it. Timelines. Yeah, you can. No, you can't. Have you listened to a podcast? We have no organization. That's the line, Maddie. That's the line where we're like, we can't release it. This is like the goddamn Christmas movie discussion. This

They say coming this Christmas. That's not an exact date. Betty, that is literally a date that hasn't changed 2,000 years. Don't say that, not me. Don't put this on me.

Heather, stop looking at us weird. Fucking contribute to the conversation. Okay, you need to get on Raya. It's R-A-Y-A. There's 15 celebrities who are using this dating app. Matthew Perry, Ben Affleck. I need women. Demi Lovato. Okay. Channing Tatum, John Mayer, Lizzo, Nick Kroll. Oh, Nick Kroll's in there? What the fuck? That's random. Chelsea Handler, Drew Barrymore, John Cusack, Courtney Love,

Kelly Osbourne. That's the one they talked about on Billions. Mickey Palmer? Yeah. Joe Jonas? Do you ever watch Billions? I don't watch that. One of the main guys on Billions said he was on that app. It's a celebrity. It's like if you have status, you use this dating app. Okay, I don't think this is going to work because I'm me, but you know. You can try. Drew Barrymore swiped right on me. Bro, I would flex that so hard.

i'd be like batty bring drew over let's get a quick podcast with her then go on your date dating demi lovato i hate it that's awesome she recently sang to a bunch of ghosts in a haunted house on some some clip and she said that um the ghost she was singing to she was healing them and they'd been sexually abused so the men couldn't come in the room or something she's a little crazy but i feel like you know that's betty's type is crazy great take a moment look around is that

Okay, yeah, I think it could work. Okay. We'll go to the Waverly Hills Sanatorium. We'll bring Demi Lovato. She'll sing. We'll sing to the ghosts who have died of tuberculosis. You guys can have like a shotgun wedding there. Yeah, dude. That'd be great. Touch her fat tits. Touch her fat tits. I've never heard Demi Lovato described as fat tits. I don't know who that is.

Oh, she's a they them now. She's a fat tits. She's a they them now. Touch its fat tits. Batty's like, oh no. Unsubscribe. Right now. Touch their fat tits. I want to see Batty date famous people so bad.

This is what we need to put all the money towards for unsubscribed. He just doesn't introduce them to us. We create unsubscribed just to pay for his membership for this website. For our monthly revenue. Yeah. We just dump money. People call me baddie. It's a thing. Jimmy wants to go to this really expensive restaurant. Don't worry. Use the credit card. Put it on the company card. No one's going to fuck it, no.

Wait, go on. I was gonna be like, oh, we're going to dinner. You just hand her a spoon. Is that too much? No. Have you been on that? You're wearing... Is that... She was a heroin addict. I like you were like, is that too much as you lean forward wearing a shirt that says cum? Is that the line, guys? Is that the line? It's okay. I've had many family members addicted to meth and heroin. Heather, I'm just reading the shirt. Chill. Chill.

I'm staring at your tits. I'm respectful. I have to make an excuse. Cody's like, there's words on there. That's the coolest shirt ever. Bitch, I can't read.

No, I'm just making an excuse for myself. Okay. Since you have one. I found myself like unironically doing that a few times. I do this sometimes and I'm like, oh.

Do I get a check? It's too late in life. You don't want that. You don't want that answer. That's a dark spiral mental breakdown you just don't need right now. I've already had too many of those. That's what I'm saying. This might be the one. This is where we back out. This is the closer.

We're at the end of this book. We're at the end of this book. We're two chapters away from closing it. Man, my epilogue was boring. Oh, my God. OK, Heather, this is a new thing. This is called the new thing. We we started with unsubscribe is come up with a new topic to talk about as a guest.

A new topic. Yeah, right now you have to come up with something. Guys, we didn't write anything else, so I'm just forcing something. I felt like we were carrying the conversation fairly well. I know, I just wanted to ruin that. By causing it to not be organic any longer. I told you it's Eli that ruins the podcast. It's not me. It's Eli. He's still not even talking to you. He just said, mmm. He wouldn't even say any words to you.

You just make body noises. I need somebody to go back in the podcast. Has Cody said anything to me this episode? Grunt and nod at Patty.

Baddie has fucking shitty air conditioning AC works great. I mean You can't say my hands are clean and it works great. I

I was like, man, it's because we're talking about these scary video games. I'm sweating thinking about it. And it's just, now I'm just sweating. Yeah, we're just eating fucking mom's spaghetti right now. My ice maker works great. Waterfalls. Betty watching. Actually, the ice maker doesn't work great. I tried to do that. We're just shitting on Betty again. Okay, back to shitting on Betty for two hours.

Look how poor he is. How does he still have these fucking dragons? Don't worry about it. We have merch now. We'll get some revenue. His adventure frog has a low credit score.

Like we have our steeds we ride into battle. He takes the public transport. Food stamps? He has a horse he has to ride on with and gets him close to the mission. We're drinking our potions and he has food stamps. What is my main fictional character part two? He's got his great value fucking potions. It's not even four, I'm doing great! We have like 60% and he's like, it's like, it's like, I'm ready guys. It's like, what the fuck?

Get out of here. Take one of my potions. I bought from Whole Foods. I don't even like Whole Foods. What is the... Oh, what is the... Fuck, what is... Not H-E-B. It's like the low-income fucking... Piggly Wiggly. Oh, that's super low-income. Wait, what's Piggly Wiggly? Do you know what Piggly Wiggly is? Oh, when you're from Alabama and I'm from Kentucky, these motherfuckers...

So the the the other grocery stores you'd go to when you're a kid were called Piggly Wigglies I never heard of it's like if you took Walmart and then actually had Walmart on like all of all of the drugs and

No, it's just like legit. It's very bad. It was always in the worst part of town and it was just like, I was poor when I was little. It's Walmart on well for it. It fucking is. It's like that's where you use your fucking food stamps. No shit. I've never heard of this. I'm going to take you to a Piggly Wiggly one day. Can't wait. We're going to film everything. What if we just did like this

like this we find like a place where you can do waffle house piggly wiggly and walmart we do bingo on like how many fights yeah we have like our bingo cards and we're like we have to find like got it yeah oh bingo cards bingo cards we go to dude unsubscribe bingo walmart

We each have to like check off all of the fucked up shit we see. We have to get like video proof that we've seen it. We could do one where it's just how many times does Eli make fun of Batty and it's the whole board and then you can just always win. First off, everyone was laughing at you. Okay. Having a great month. Oh no. Thanks Eli, it's cool man. Batty's frog can't cut his beard because he can't afford it. That's the only reason he has that long one.

You can't even afford mana to like fight off the fucking creatures. Jesus Christ. A little fucking wizard hut in section 8 housing. Oh god. Oh no. Does Medicaid pay for fucking mana? Jesus Christ. Oh my god, I'm camera. Sorry, I love you. This is so good. I love you.

We give him the copper from the missions. He's very bad at business. He doesn't know we're shortchanging him. We build this entire background for his character. We get all the silver and gold. Just the copper, buddy. You're doing good. I don't know why this is...

jab at you, but I Basically Heather he gets his mana potions from the pig It's what reveals your health and your MP so your magic points, so imagine we are

As successful adventurers, we drink a health potion and we're like, it's like, bam, it fills us all the way up. I love that we're explaining this joke now, too. That definitely just, you know. Just one more pass. Let's just do it. We got a night.

We're walking with the knife now. Like, Will! We're walking around in front with it. Hey, what's up, buddy? So, how these jokes work. It's like there's a drive-thru on a corner. Let's do one more pass. Cody's spinning your feet for me. Jokes are always great when you have to explain them.

Oh, man. We gotta play more RPGs. Now that's a good transition piece. Was it? What would be... Okay, so Heather's... You never played, like, Final Fantasy Pokemon? Just hold your hand for an hour, Maddie. Give me your hand. Don't touch me. I used to watch my brother play Final Fantasy on PlayStation. Like, OG PlayStation. Yeah. 07? Yeah. What if we got Heather to play an RPG? What would it be? Witcher. Baldur's Gate. Baldur's Gate. Witcher 3. Baldur's Gate. Baldur's Gate 3? No.

All their gate would be good. Did they fix it? No, it's been an early. I mean it's better There's more to it's been an early access for two years or whatever. We play that our controller games. Oh

I think like dude Elden Ring she's watched so much Elden Ring with me I watched Killeen and his Sheriff Eli went for like hours and I was just sitting there thinking about how I would hate to play that fucking game yeah I was sick one day and we sat in the bed and watched Sheriff Eli for like six hours straight he's so funny dude

Yeah, 100%. He's fucking right around the corner. He is. Oh, he lives here? Dallas. Oh. Yeah. Fuck, dude. We'll pay for that flight. Yeah. Sure feel I. We love you. We love you. Your voice is beautiful. I don't know what his face looks like. I do. I do. Yeah. Will he be out? Like, do I have to blur his face out? Or do you think he'll show his face? Is he still a cop? Oh, dude, I can get fucking swagger souls on here, too, thinking about it.

Yeah, I'm friends with Swagger. Bro, get Swagger! Is he still trapped in Australia or whatever? He's not trapped anymore. He came over here for a little bit, I think, a couple weeks ago. Oh, okay, okay. So we could... I'd say we put that into the budget. Oh my God, 100%. Holy fuck, shit. What else are we spending our money on? Yeah, we're just going through the budget right now. Tube lights. Which we don't even have all the time. And tripods. And Batty's new dating app. That's true. I'm done...

I'm serious about that. Let's do it. Let's do those on that bitch. I would love that shit get like people like that Sasha I rated which one does it you rated the the Russian name Sasha? I know Sasha lesson. Oh, it was Sasha last time. Yes. Okay Okay, I don't know Corn star

Twitcher? We're Twitchers now? Twitchies? Yeah. Twitchies. Cornstars? My dad calls me a Twitcher. There's a lot of porn stars moving to Twitch right now. There's a whole bunch. Do we talk about this last time? Well, we were just talking about getting them on. Because Sasha, we raided her last night and finally...

She's like hey, thanks Eli and then people would go to unsubscribe and then the mods were like delete delete delete. It's like son of a bitch Fuck you mods. Oh you're British Officer Grey? Yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't know she was my age. Is she? I thought she was like upper 30s. I have no idea. She's 30. I think she's 32.

Yeah, oh we looked it up. She only did porn for four years three or four years a lot of mileage Real quick yeah, she wrote an article or a book or something about it because she was like here It's all the fucked up stuff that happened, and I don't want to do it anymore. He's worried about a butthole I would be worried about she was the anal queen so I would be worried about my butthole too if I did nothing but straight insane fucking just shoving things in my ass for four years straight

Yeah. How's dating Cody? Very. Wow, the smile. The smile. That was good. That was fucking hot. Hell yeah, bro. Fuck, that's a punch in. Yeah. And then a freeze frame when they bump knuckles. And then friendship. Friends forever. Best friends forever. You guys dating? Trauma. There's a trauma right there. Are they dating? Are you guys together now? No.

Heather, why are you sleeping at Cody's bed? Are you guys just friends? Do you have friendship hangouts? I'm saying daily vlog, Rich. Are you guys...

- I get that all the time in my DMs. - Is this a friendship sex tape? Are you guys just friends? Like the dumb questions people ask. - Do you guys do friendship anal? - I love friendship anal. Me and Brad do that. - Time for butt stuff, pal. - You ready, pal? - Thanks, buddy. - Yeah, yeah. - It's like that South Park. - Yo, I gotta find me a friend. - You're not my buddy, guys. - I ain't your friend.

The questions you guys all get asked. You guys are like fucking vlog 40 and it's still it's like, wait. Wait, I think I put it together. Hold the fuck on. Is John your son?

Hold up, rewind. That's your question right now, bro? Oh, man. All these fucking Sherlock's in my comments. Yeah, it's just like, what the fuck? Regular Batman of the detective world. Yeah, it's literally like vlog 40 and you'll see the one random comment that's like, wait a minute, I've been gone for a long time, guys. Is Donut banging Heather? And everyone's just like, what the fuck? Bro.

Bro. Great detective work, Sherlock. You've done it. You've done it. That's the weird part about being on the internet, too. It's like very... People want to know that shit and you don't know why, but they care. It doesn't make any sense. They care way more than you even care about them caring. You're just like, okay. Oh, this is a big thing. You're like, no.

This is what you want to know. That. What else? It's like tabloid shit, dude. It is. It's like when you go, you know, when you're checking out the fucking HEB and all the magazines are like, fucking this is dating, duh. It's like, why do you fucking care about that so much? It's like, why don't you? Who are you dating, asshole? Yeah. Work on your relationship. You just respond to all those and be like, who are you dating? Yeah, I want to know. That's what I was telling them yesterday. Me and Sav went to the fucking corn store.

Corn? The Hollywood, Hustler Hollywood. Oh, you can't say that. You can't say that. Can you? I would keep it out of the video. Yeah, say corn. Flock right here. Now that we've learned corn. I think I've said it three times in this. Yeah, we've said it a lot. But it was like walking around and we're making the videos of like, yeah, that pornography. We were looking at the pornography section. But it had

Like just hanging out and then I look over and there's two people staring at me. I'm like, yeah, it's always the worst. You got recognized at the corn store? Yeah. I was like, oh no. Oh no. And they're just like doing this. I was like, oh fuck, what is this? They're holding a bunch of dildos like. Well, I was like, maybe they're just embarrassed and then it's like whatever. And they're like walk up behind him. It's like black rifle coffee shirt. I was like. Oh.

That's why you were staring at me. This is super great. They went and told that story to some people. Oh, yeah. Like Eli was yelling about the shapes of these dildos because there was like there was like normal ones. It's weird. I was buying a strap on. So crazy. Well, no, they're going to be there. Look at the chubby because that's in the video. I was like, look at the chubby. It's like penis sizes. And then there's the one that was just like it's

It was like the bottom part. It was a goddamn shit boy R.D. case. Christ, dude. I didn't know about the dragon ones until recently. Oh, the bad dragon? The bad dragon. I didn't know about those until... No, have you seen the bad dragon dildos? They're all like dragon dicks and shit. Yeah, like... I have the bad dragon mug. That's my big mug. Yeah, because I found out about it because you had the mug and people were like... That's why I was confused about that. Every comment said bad dragon, bad dragon, bad dragon. I'm like, what the fuck? I looked it up and I'm like...

What? And then I got on the corn tub and I was like, holy shit, there are like tiny girls just destroying their bodies with these fucking... You are welcome. With these dragon... You're welcome in the movies. I've seen the tentacle stuff. The dragon... It's so weird watching zombies. One of my mods, he sent me this. Oh, God. Yeah, they got the...

Dude, in the videos, they're like this. They're like, I'm going to now sit on this. And you just see this come out their mouth. They're like. They go back down. And you're like, how does that fit in your entire. Like it rearranges them. Yeah. Moves shit around a little bit. They're like the Houdini system. Look at this. Kudos. You're doing well. You're doing real good. You're a sword swallower. Flipped? The largest dragon dick is called the oceanic rift. What?

At least they named them very well. Oh, where is this? Natural? That's not natural. Or would you call it natural? How is that natural? That's not even... Mother of God. I want Bad Dragon to sponsor us. It's very natural. Why don't we have a Bad Dragon sponsorship? We're selling the fuck out of their product right now. Yeah, we are. What's that one? I don't care. Why does it have fucking... It's so weird. Why does it have gills? It's a dragon dick, dude. No, it's not that one.

Oh. How big are these ones, though? A twofer? Bad dragon. I think one of those goes in the other hole. Giant. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. We're happy to have you here with us today. We're going to say prayers right now. Going to church. I'm just kidding. Oh, Eli's making faces. I'm trying to hit image. No, Eli, that's my dick. Stop. Oh, yeah. This is it. What's wrong with this? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

I just noticed the can next to it. Oh my god, why? Bro, that is Goldberg's arm. That is birthing a child. Bro. They literally took a fucking bodybuilder and got him pumped up at the gym and they were like, Flex, we're gonna mold this. And that is

What are you supposed to do with that? Real quick, what's that one called? It's called the Tyrannosaurus Sex. You're not... It's not Tyrannosaurus Sex! Extra large Tyrannosaurus Sex. Is this on Bad Dragon? This is amazing. Dude, okay, we need a Bad Dragon sponsorship, seriously. Oh my god. What is that one? Click on that. Oh my god, it flexes!

It's literally a bodybuilder flexing right now. That dick is doing the bodybuilder flex. Oh, I can't tell what kind of fucking soda that is right there. Totally don't know what the red with the white. Yeah, that's the focal point. And it's weird there's a polar bear drinking out of it. Whatever could that be?

Can we show? Yeah, let's send that to Fluck. Let's cut off the top. Yeah, we'll do both of those. I just like that. That's like me getting a fleshlight with a girl just like flexing your tits. It's literally a bodybuilder with a dickhead. So we'll cut off the dickhead and we can show that. Here it is. Oh my god. Yep. I have an emo on Twitch. Okay.

That is birthing a child. You might as well just shove a whole baby up there. She's like, I got this, bro. Oh my God. Are these? Oh no.

That's her asshole? That's her asshole. Good for her. Apparently you can fit several raccoons in your asshole. She could. Yeah, she can get a bunch of raccoons up there. Holy. If there's like raccoon asshole math that you can find on the internet. You kind of just like. I just can't picture that. She's like, okay, put it in. I'm like, okay, are you ready? You fall in. And I'm like, where am I? It's like me. Oh no. I'm just.

You can have that fat dude butt stuff I mean Just poop just like fall out. No you can you aren't holding anything in there. Oh

What's the moment you decide? Why would you color it that color though? It looks like you're shitting. A giant shit. That can be woman inserts. I can't see what the... Put puppies on the screen. Really confused audience. What are they doing? Okay, podcast people. Think of two of my biceps flexing side by side. It's got the dragon scales and shit on it.

This is called my Tuesday and Thursday rabbit hole Called the bad dragon. I'll say you know Sorry we're boring you We're boring baddie right now he's just

We can't- the podcast was on. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I can't look away from it. It's like a fucking train wreck. It's called porn. Of course you can't look away from it. She's like, "Oh my god, it's now favorite!" Heather, put your phone down! Yeah, they're gonna just show me ads for this. Oh, it's bookmarked now. Why is that? Ugh, how do I unfit- Oh man. Why did it get delivered to the house? Jesus. Oh my god. Heather, you got a package. What the-

Heather, I think you got what seems to be the rear end of a 95 Chevy in. Never mind. I'm going to close it. Why is it flexing? Why is this small car flexing? Why are you doing flexing on me? Baby, I'm not trying to replace you. I don't know. That thing looks literally like it's replacing me. It's the size of me, baby.

And now it's gone. That's what I bring to the fucking haunted house. You guys think I'm possessed by a demon? Good. At least we talked about video games for like 20 minutes. Did we? The horror game. Yeah, so we talked about it for like two seconds. 20 minutes of that. We only made fun of you for like one minute and 30 seconds.

And then dildos for an hour. It's great. This is quality content that will never get us like... Y'all better make a great memorial video for me finally. When it happens, it better be a good video. Oh, Batty, you're going to die last. No, I'm not. Oh, my God. There's zero chance I'm last. Just be sad on the podcast. We're gone. Hey, guys. My head is straight. At least they'll catch it in four cameras and eight Ks, so...

"Baddie, why do you still have four cameras? Your co-hosts are dead." "I don't know." Just cutouts of us just sitting there. - It's Baddie with a Ouija board. - Just trying to talk. "Eli, make a joke." "Oh wait, don't stop talking again." "He's definitely here right now." - In the afterlife, like. - I just picture you're in heaven, you're like, "Oh, thank God." And Baddie pops up behind you in line, she's like,

Jesus Christ. I thought I was done with this shit. Hey, it's me, St. Pete. Gabriel says fuck you now. It's St. Pete. Thank you for watching the Unsubscribe podcast. Of course, we have Eli in Double Tap. We have Donut Operator and our very, very, very special guest.

Heather Lynn. Oh, be sure to check out, come subscribe podcast merch at bunker branding. Thank you, Heather, for being on the podcast and your tits for showing up. They made an appearance. My job here is done.

Heather where can everyone find your stuff? H-E-A-T-H-E-R-L-Y-N-N-O-H Heather Leno across the board. I like how fast you said that. Anyone can type that fast. H-E-A-T-H-E-R It's hard to type that fast with one hand. You know? Say your name again. Yeah.