4 - My Crippling Pokemon Addiction
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- Oh, that was good, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. - That was a deep resonating one. - Oh. - So. - Introduce, start it. - Hi, I'm Batty, this is Eli. - Underscore double tap. - And Mr. Bonoboperator. - Bonoboperator. Hello everyone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, shit, ranch water, huh? - I know, big shout out to our sponsors. - Well, okay. - Quick word. - Air quotes on sponsor. - Our quick word, a message from our sponsors.

What do you think when you move to Texas? Ranches. And what do humans need to sustain life? Water. Okay. Moving on.

Please don't block us. Ranch Water's on their Instagram right now. Block Batty. Block Eli. Block Donut. We are not allowed to block you. I mean, they've already blocked me, guys. I don't know what you mean. Like, I'm already... Get a picture of our faces up. Don't sell these. Do not sell. Don't sell them Ranch Water. Oh, fuck. These people hate us. They're just the worst. So, speaking of alcohol, we talked about, I think it was the last podcast. We're alcoholics. Yay!

We did the boot campaign. Batty raised like 40 grand. And the boot campaign just sent me a package while we were sitting here. And they sent me some whiskey. Texas blended whiskey. TX. Just TX whiskey. TX.

But that was super nice of them. Firestone and Robertson Distilling Company. That's crazy. You raised all this. They sent you whiskey. Yeah, they sent me whiskey, and I only raised three grand as opposed to your 40. That's so crazy. I really hope I have a package when I get home. You guys want to try the boot camp whiskey? Oh, yeah. We're going to try this right now. Ready? No, guys. Cheers. It's fine. We don't need to. Shots, shots. What time is it?

12.40. This is perfect. It's afternoon on a Saturday. It's Saturday. The fights are tonight. McGregor's fighting... What's the other guy's name? It's not important. I was expecting different. That was good. I don't know why I was thinking it was the peanut butter one.

Oh, Screwball? I thought it was Screwball, so I was like, oh, it's going to have that peanut butter. Nope, that's whiskey. I love whiskey, but my taste buds were not ready for that palate. Dude, Screwball's really good. Dude, it's dangerous. Yeah, we made a Reese's Cup shot one time. We put chocolate, liqueur, and the peanut butter whiskey together. Wait, together? Yeah, and it tastes like a Reese's Cup. Ooh, as a fat kid. It's dangerous, though. You're not fat. You're looking good. You're looking really good. That's crazy, because...

Not ten minutes before we started this you were calling me fat again. No, I said you're in this group of guys. You're the funny one No one's gonna walk up and be like oh Matt donut you like you're you're funny The guy with the large shadow I think that you're a gorgeous human being I

Is this the bromance people were talking about? You're lying through your teeth. I gotta bring this up. I'm getting yelled at from the producer, Gallagher. I don't think he's a producer. Is he the producer? I mean, he's the producer now. This is as close as it gets. This is where it's gonna sit. So can you just be shorter? Yeah. Can you pull that up on the screen, Gallagher?

On our TV. Kermit on Twitter at The Froggy Knight commented and said, How do I convince my lazy friends to do things like this? Talking about our podcast. There's just so much bromance and raw sexual energy in your work. Talent. Talent. That's what I love. Raw talent. Not talent. Sexual energy. That's what I always loved being described as. It's that. Huge, throbbing sexual energy. Sexual energy. Yeah. Just exploding out. Same sex.

So yeah, if you guys actually listen to this, all of the podcasts, leave a review somewhere because we can read those and it's fun. We'll read them for you. Also, a big shout out to everyone that started writing fan fiction for all of us. God, dude. Fantastic work. I think we can actually... You want me to read it? I'm not going to read it. I'll read it. I'll pop a chub and that'll be weird. God damn it. Eli leans over.

Or wait, start at the beginning. Wait, maybe we shouldn't have the Bravo read. Do you want me to read? Can you read? It's worded kind of different. Yeah. Oh, well, I'll just start here. Eli's hand softly but firmly closes over donuts. Now, now see, you want to make sure to grip it firm, but not too hard. Let it warm in your palm before you cock it like so.

Eli reaches his other hand, arms seeming to wrap around Donut as now he holds him, pressed hard against his chest. He leans in a bit on the side. Is this a rain stream? Looking up at Donut to see if he's watching. And Donut is watching him ever so intently.

Batty walks in, stopping as his eyes grow big at the scene. What the fuck are you doing, Eli? He grabs Eli and pulls him towards him, glaring at Donut. I warned you about trying to steal my man, didn't I? Scene.

So we need more in-depth ones. No, we don't. No, we don't. Those guys get raw. I don't want those text messages anymore. I do not want those text messages anymore. I was enjoying myself last night just watching a movie, looked at my phone and was like, well, I'm gay now. Yeah, 100%. That's how I was just getting texts. It's like,

And Princess Peach grabs Sonic's hedgehog dick. And I was like, oh yeah, I talked about that. I forgot about this. Yep. Remember we skipped PG-13. We were right to the... Oh, instantly. He's like, cock! Family. Family friendly. Oh, man. Family friendly fan fiction. Oh, God. Family friendly fan. Is that... You know what is family friendly? No. Pokemon. Don't. Your deep addiction right now. Okay. So...

I bought a couple of booster boxes. How many cards are in a booster box? It depends. It depends. Does it? There are different types. There's 36 booster packs in a box. In a regular booster box. Then you have your elite trainer boxes with 8 to 10. And then you have your older tins, which usually have 3 to 5, usually 4 nowadays. And then you have your packages, which I don't remember your blisters, which are 3 to 4 or 6 if you get one of the good ones. But let's not dive into the specifics. Yeah, because Batty, how many...

Packs do you have to crack? So let's start at the beginning. I love Pokemon. I have always loved Pokemon. I have the Team Rocket R tattooed on my arm. So like, you know, when I was... Yeah, straight up. Team Rocket R. Oh. Did not know that. Yeah. When I was a wee lad, I had a huge Pokemon collection, like an absurd amount of cards. And most of those got thrown away because I moved so much when I was a poor child, like we talk about, all of us being very poor childs.

And most of them got thrown away and I didn't want to start buying cards again because I was mad most of them got thrown away and I know I have the type of personality when I get into something I tend to go overboard.

Whether it's with D&D stuff or monitors, computer guns. Or Tarkov. And then recently, I forgot about this, I had bought, when Pokemon X and Y, the Game Boy games came out back in like 2017 or 2018? I don't remember exactly when. But around then when they came out, I bought one of these trainer boxes and a bunch of cards. And I was like, fuck it, XY came out, I'm going to buy a bunch.

And I've had those sitting on my desk as part of my backdrop for three years. And then Donut reminded me recently about Pokemon. I got back into it. I don't know. John was like, Dad, I want more Pokemon cards. And I was like, wait a minute. I'm an adult, and I can go buy booster boxes now. This is sick. You don't need to buy a pack. You can buy the box. Because when I was a kid, I would see the booster boxes at the card store, and I would tear up because I just really wanted a whole booster box of them.

And yeah, it just hit me. I have money. I can buy tons of Pokemon cards. And so John and I went out and we got like five or six booster boxes and opened them on stream. And John pulled a Charizard VMAX. You know, it's worth like 200 bucks. And so we were just, we're really excited about it. So we just keep buying them. And then I told you, hey dude, look, I'm getting all these booster boxes. Here's where you can get them. And now you're like a crack fiend.

How many packs do you have to crack? So as of right now, I have somewhere around 300 packs. Not booster boxes, but individual packs that I need to open. But by like February 2nd, after all the ones I've ordered finally show up, it's going to be like 700 plus packs. So that's like 20 boxes-ish? Yep. It's a lot.

There's a lot of loose packs, like a lot of old school loose packs. What in your mind was like, this is exactly what I'm going to be doing? Hi, look at me. I mean, it's an investment. Didn't we talk about it in the last podcast? It's not an investment. I'm going to open it. No, it's an investment. It's not. I could lie to myself and say it's an investment, but it's really, I just want Pokemon cards. At the end of the day, I just want a crack pack. All my friends are like, yo, man, you get some real rare ones from these packs. You can get them graded. They're worth a lot of money. I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

I just want to open Pokemon cards man like ripping ripping those blister packs dude whether it's Magic the Gathering fucking Yu-Gi-Oh was my thing back when I was a kid too Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh the smell dude oh my the smell of a freshly opened pack dude the Magic the Gathering I mean that's how we play the games too you'd open that's how you do some of those games it's open the pack right

- Yeah, yeah, that's right. - Everyone takes turns. - I used to go to tournaments for Yu-Gi-Oh! and you'd be like, you'd have to buy into the tournament, they'd give you a certain amount of cards that you had to use, then you'd be like, and you'd get eight packs, make the best deck you can. - Yeah. - Those were the fucking shit. - So when we were playing MTG, each individual person, you'd have your own unsealed, or your booster pack, and everyone would open it, and then you draw one card from that.

Then you hand the deck to your left. So you go that and you're just picking a card every time to build your deck. Oh man, that's wild. I never did it like that. It's fun. It's fun. We used to do just like, you'd be given like a set amount of tournament cards and then you'd be like, here's four or five packs. Open those, combine them with your tournament cards and everybody would, you know, you'd buy into the tournament. You'd get like four or five packs or whatever the number was.

And you'd have to make the best deck you could out of that. And that was what everybody... I still think, like, it's crazy. MTG cards have always been worth a lot. Oh, tons. Absolutely tons. I have three boxes of them upstairs if you want to open them later. Done. Okay. Done. But the Pokemon cards have, like...

Like Bitcoin, how fast that shit like escalated. I was like, I was talking to a butterman who's literally addicted to Pokemon cards as I am. And he, and he was like, I was like, dude, he's been doing all the research on like which packs to buy.

And he was like, I was like, send me some good ones. And he's like, here, man, these ones. And he's looking, he's like, fuck, this was a hundred bucks last week. It's 350 minimum this week. It's been a week. That's how much they're skyrocketing in price. Yeah, man. That's insane. Thank you, Logan Paul. J.

Jake. Was it Jake Paul? Yeah, it was him and Graham Stevens. They opened that Pokemon pack on stream. But I think we talked about it last week, how the first edition booster box sold for $400,000 at auction last week. Yeah, man. That's absolutely insane. Yo, so I know we're going to do this. We're going to go in on a fossil. We have to. Yeah. There's like $35,000 right now for the booster box.

No, you can get, I've been seeing them for like 20. Okay. So there's a couple people that have done these. They do buy-ins on stream. It's like $700 to $1,000 for a pack.

Yeah. So what you do is people will buy into these booster boxes. They'll be like, yo, I will pay, you know, 2,000 bucks for two packs out of this unsealed box. Because the thing is, when you buy individual packs of these old school, the rare packs usually weigh more because they're holographic heavy. So people don't like buying individual packs. They're like, oh, it's unweighed. Fuck you. That pack's been weighed. That motherfucker's selling off one. Why is it 700 bucks? Because there's not a good cart in it because they've weighed those packs. So you've got to buy the sealed booster boxes. Yeah.

And then you have people buy in, like they'll buy in for two packs and you just randomly go through and be like, all right, these two packs before we open or weigh them or do anything are for this individual. And then at the end of the day, we'll be like, all right, I'm buying five donuts, buying five, and then we'll part out the rest of the 36 packs. Yeah. And that's what a lot of streamers, a lot of content creators have been doing on YouTube and stuff when they go in on these giant boxes. It makes sense.

It's crazy that the weight is different. Like, Magic has been pretty... Oh, it's small. Because it's the holographic cards. They weigh more. Did you ever do the produce aisle trick when you were younger? Oh, my God. Yeah.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Go to the scale. You take your Pokemon booster pack and you go to the scale on the produce aisle and put it on the scale. And if it's slightly, it weighs slightly more, that's the one with the holographic card in it. And that's the one you buy. Yeah. These old school life hacks back when we were in the 90s. No cell phones. The only thing that survived like the throwing away of my old collection was I have a complete set of jungle and a complete set of fossil and

non-holos. So it's all the holo cards, but they also obviously make non-holo versions of them. And I have a few base set jungle team rocket holos that kick around. Like, like that, that is all I have left. Like I found them when I finally found this elite, this trainer box I had back in 2017. I forgot. I kept a couple of my, my favorite Pokemon cards that I tucked in there. Motherfucker. I got like a couple of really good ones in there. I'm like, yo, these are worth like, if I get one graded, I got a card that's worth like two grand. Well, that sounds like my one friend. Uh, they have,

I was sending the guy's picture. It's like, they have stacks of just all send us your Pokemon cards. It's like Charmander's like six Charmander's first edition. Like I was like,

This is in your garage? Yeah. I don't know. It's just all the Pokemon cards just in my garage. It's like, these are all first edition. Okay, we're going to bring these in. You're a millionaire. We're going to take care of these cards. The hardest part about this stuff is a lot of these things can be worth money, but you have to get them graded. That takes time and effort. That's when people are telling me, you've got to get these cards graded. I'm like, what the fuck? I just want to open Pokemon cards. Grading is when you send it off to TCG, and then they...

They take it, and then they use a microscope. The fucking coloring, how the shading looks, the edging, the fucking slight fucking ripples on the card. It's wild. It's like a 1 to 10 scale or something, isn't it? Yeah, 10. I was talking about perfect. You don't find that. They come out of the packs in 9s and 8s at the time. It's wild. I pulled that Charizard VMAX, or John did, on stream the other night. Don't touch it. Yeah, yeah. I touched it, and people were like, don't touch it.

don't judge edges like put it down stop yeah yeah we i just put it down because that thing it's it's like 150 dollars just out of the pack but if you get it graded and it gets like a nine it's worth six hundred dollars so yeah i did that shit didn't exist when we were little we just like pulling pokemon cards out of packs my buddy had those i think i told you one of my buddies when we play mtg back in middle school he had a black lotus and he's like yeah this is worth two hundred dollars

And it was in like a glass container and everything. And he had wrote a, you substitute cards a lot when you build your deck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't use the black Lotus. Cause yeah, I have too fucking much to put in a goddamn desk. Yeah. Sleeve or anything. So it was like, I had black Lotus. Here it is. It's written on like a land just as black Lotus. And that's how you play it.

So I remember it was like $200, and I remember when I was seeing it, I was like, man, that card's like $2,000. Now that's insane. And now that card is redonkulous. It was like, what was the last one? One's on eBay right now. I sent you the link to it. It was like 200 grand right now.

during that? Yeah. And the auction just started and people are already getting one. Okay, so as somebody who doesn't know fuck all about magic, because I've never been into magic. My friends always were. I never got into magic hardcore. I figured you would be a magic guy over Pokemon. So I played. I played magic, but I never got into what cards are worth. I had some, but that was never... What makes a Black Lotus so...

Holy fuck. Oh my God. So there was in the, it's just a rare, like a good card or it is an extremely good car and it's a, you can't use it in any format. So it's banned. Oh, okay. I mean a lot, a lot of cards are like that. Yeah. When you have your, uh, like your black Lotus, that is an alpha. And then it was out the gate. You have like one of the most powerful card. Yeah.

Well, it's just... We're talking like a first edition Charizard. Yeah, yeah. It's like a core card. A core card. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. They're called alphas. And they're rare back in the day because it was... You played Magic. You have a card that you can play zero mana to play. It's instantly cast and it's three mana. Oh, fucking... Yeah. When you set it, right? When you put it down, it's instantly three if I remember right. It's instant three. So you now have...

Three plus whatever you want. So you can get a lot of big cards out extremely quick. Right out the gate. Yeah, right out the gate. So you can just start beating ass. And then they have, depending on what cards, usually in Magic, it's how powerful they are, what they're being used for at the time.

And then any of the old school that just, it's the idea of old video games, old cards. People didn't keep it and they just threw it away or they didn't keep it in good condition. Dude, it's wild to think about like collecting cards back in the day versus collecting cards now. Yeah. When you got, so okay, here's the question though. Is it collecting cards as a kid versus an adult or is it collecting cards in the early 90s, 2000s?

versus collecting cards you know in 2015 plus I look is that the difference is it because when we were kids we just didn't give a fuck but like I I know kids now that that are just like locking shit down like no no I got booster boxes I haven't I've unopened I

I could never have done that. I've had these booster boxes for four days and I'm like sweating thinking about it. I'm like, I need to open them right now. And I, I'm trying to wait till I have all of them in. So I can just, I just want to take a single picture of my literal addiction. So I know to stop doing this. Well, it's a lot of those old, you look at it, look at old comic books and people wouldn't touch them. Yeah. Like the first edition of Superman sold the last one sold for like two or $4 million. Yeah.

Fuck.

Okay, just real quick. My dad was like, he was born in 1957. He was a comic book fiend. Had all the first edition Batman, Superman's like action comics. That was the first Superman when he had that. He came home one day and his mom, very religious woman, was burning every single one of them. Oh my God. Yeah. Is that how Alabama's wild? The comic you just said, the first action comics where Superman appeared, worth like $2 million. Yeah.

And that's when Meemaw Donut died, right? She passed away that day. Fell into the fire. It was the weirdest thing. Face first right into the fire pit. Who would have thought? Wild. Yeah, all those were so much. And you have that. That's why I started collecting video games unopened in the early 2000s, late 2000s. Really? Because I was like, oh, I'm just going to buy these games and never open them. Yeah.

I got money now on video games. I was like, but I think I told you because I have like Xenogears, Sealed, PS1. No shit, that's cool. World of Warcraft Collector's Edition. Do you have a Final Fantasy VII like four disc pack? Three disc, but yeah. Isn't it four? Three. Four. Final Fantasy VIII was the four disc. Oh, okay. It was the eight. It was the four disc. Okay, okay, okay. I swore it was. Really? Two and three. Fuck, dude. It's been so long. I guess I'm just. So good. But those games like Xenogears is like two grand or four grand. Sealed. Yeah.

World of Warcraft collector's edition is like 30 grand or 40 grand right now. No shit. Yeah. And you have one? Yeah. What's your address again? Never mind. I have it. Guys, I gotta go. What's the safe? Something to take care of. But I have a bunch of sealed games. I just literally have a box of them. I was like, I'll just do this and whatever happens, happens. And...

He's like, oh, these are starting to really take off in price. Young Eli made a good decision on that one. I wish young Batty had made any good decisions. Same here. Not have a kid and shit. But now they get... I love you, John. I'm playing. Ranch water. Ranch water. Ranch water.

But now we get to actually buy, like what the nicest thing is, is when I got back into magic and we played, we have to play a commander. It's one of the best forms of magic, the gathering, because you can play with groups of people. It's not one-on-one. Oh, you pull the cards. No, this one is. So how you play magic, how you play commander is you build a deck of a hundred cards. You only can have one of each card other than lands. So you have your commander and your commander is your specific. They have all these different moves.

So this is kind of like Hearthstone or all these games where you have your champion or whatever, and that has a special move, and then you have all your cards in front of it? Yes, and your champion you can put out. As long as you have the mana to put him out, you can put him out. Now, if they kill him, he goes back into its reservoir or whatever, and then it costs two more mana to cast him back out. Every time you cast him back out, though, and you build your deck around that one command.

So you make it a badass deck around that one commander But it's a social game because I'm like if I'm doing bad and baddies doing the best I'm like don't it do you want to? Yeah, and literally that's how it goes to the more people yet playing we're not even playing I mean picked on bullshit

But yeah, we'll have to, like, it is a social game. So what I'm hearing is we're going to play, can you teach me how to play Magic the Gathering again? It's been a minimum of 10 years. I have three boxes upstairs. We could do that, pull cards from the booster thing. Like, we're talking sealed? We could open? Yeah, yeah. I love opening things. It's the newest, whatever they just came out with. Yeah, they got three of them. Dude, because Buddy, shout out to the Command Zone. This is Jimmy Wong. He's from Mulong. Yeah, Jimmy. And then Josh. Josh.

but they do a commander series i love you freddie yes and it's phenomenal because they're the ones that taught me how to play the game now commander to build good decks you are spent like my pro deck was probably an easy thousand dollars of cards yo that's okay so good point good point on that real quick adult money buying cards dude oh my god kid elon would have had the shittiest pro deck like well uh

You buy two cards for $15 and you're like... Exactly. Because I used to go to the Magic Tournaments when I was a kid. And you would have the adults come in that had money and they would just wreck every kid there. Destroy you, man! Now we can be those... Where are those... I was thinking about that the other day. Okay, so I've been trying to find some Pokemon cards. So I've been going to any store that sells them within 40 miles of us. I did that. Don't judge me. But...

I remember thinking when I was walking, because I also really like going into your local flag game stores. I love going into game stores for D&D stuff, whatever. There's a really fucking cool one in San Antonio called Night Something, where they have swords and fucking statues you can dress up. They have long tables for D&D sessions and shit. Oh, yeah. Super fucking cool, dude. Oh, my God. This was the coolest store I've been to in a while. Either way, going around and going to these stores, I had that thought of,

fuck man, I'm the adult now that's going through and being like, give me all your cards. And then kids are like, what?

That guy's so cool. And the mom's pulling the kid back. He's got a beard and glasses. He's wearing sweatpants in a store right now. You and I went to the stores and cleaned them out. I'm sorry, kids. You're not getting any cards. San Antonio is tapped. Dude, Target, none. Completely sold out. Shelves empty. It is wild to see how... After we leave here, you know what I'm doing?

Going to San Antonio House of Cards. They just made an Instagram post. They have a bunch of new boxes in. You know, they're friends with us. Yeah. Did you tell them that you're friends with them? Yeah, oh yeah, dude. They messaged me on Instagram and shit. They're all like, yo, come back, please. It was really cool to have you. Yeah, because you and I collectively spent like five grand there. Dude, I made an Instagram post about their store. They fucking lost their shit. It was cool. I was like, fuck yeah, man. Shout out to San Antonio House of Cards. Absolutely. Good fucking place. Yo, yo.

They had Vice come by. Like, that's how big Pokemon cards are right now. So when I went in a couple days after Donut went in, I was looking to buy some boost boxes. I was like, we only have a few that we can put out right now. And that's because we're having Vice News come by. And we can't... If we put cards out, they'll sell out that same day. So, like, we have to keep some in the back for the news article. Like, because they wanted to have stock when they did this interview. Dude, that's insane. Like, that's...

That's where Pokemon cards are at. Who would have thought this many years later that's where we'd be at? That's crazy. It's funny, dude. That fad, the Pokemon fad, just keeps cycling. It's like D&D right now. It's the renaissance of fucking tabletop gaming. Again, whether it's Magic the Gathering, Pokemon, D&D, Star Wars is popping the fuck off right now in the tabletop gaming world. I love it. And that's so awesome to see. I will say, if we went to... I wonder how...

Japan is doing with Pokemon cards and their uptick on that because it's completely different area that action I mean these cards are selling in the US more than they've ever sold before I bet cuz I like even with MTG we people would buy Japanese version or different versions just to have them they might be cheaper or whatever but then they have a card but going over in Japan seeing Pokemon like going to the Pokemon mall was a Pokemon Center

Yeah, it was literally like, it's a few stories and you walk in and they have, it's just Pokemon. Like, there's Mewtwo in a glass tank standing there, bubbles going around him. Super awesome. Just Japan in a nutshell with anything collector edition. You're going from store to store and it's just lines of everything in a glass case and you're like, holy crap, I went to a

It was a console and they just have stacks of all the consoles you could ever think of. Like, and they had a Castlevania Symphony of the Night for the Sega Saturn. That game, if you can get it, the American version sealed, it's like 10 or 20 grand now. Oh shit. Yeah. So it was a rare and it just like catapulted in price. Cause just real quick, real quick.

Army 11 Bravo Squad Desi Markson. We have the Navy and we have Army as well. Like, this is the nerdiest fucking game. I know. It's like just tattoo the fucking blades. Well, okay. I had a protein shake this morning. And I'm going to go find Pokemon cards after this. Like, fuck, man. That's wild. So when you were in, did you or either of you, like whether it was police stuff for you or Navy stuff for you,

Did you have nerd... Did you do nerd shit while you were in? Video games. Yeah, a lot of World of Warcraft. Dude. Whoa. Nothing. There was zero... Like, I had to hide my inner fucking nerd. Because there was... That wasn't a thing when I was in my section. Like, the scouts and snipers. Like, it was nothing. No nerds. You're weird. Dude. There was, like, one nerd guy. His name was Kim. He was Asian. He just posts memes for a living now, I swear to God. But, like...

There was no nerd shit. Everyone was like the good old boy redneck hunters. Oh, yeah. So I was like, I'm the only fucking nerd, man. Dude, I remember finally playing World of Warcraft. I got like a couple of my buddies on it because no one had PC games. No one just played video games, really. And it was like I got that one buddy across the way. I think it was Ennis. He started playing. We had one more and we just played World of Warcraft and just be like, that was it. That's how we did our days or weekends. Just like.

off work you're pulling down your acu pants you just put them at your pajamas sit there and yeah we uh the first barracks i was in like out of a school out of like the initial training when you're in uh we had a guy get kicked out because he was playing world of warcraft too much he would he would get like out of school on friday and then he would go and there was a mcdonald's beside the barracks and he would buy like

like 10 double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and put them in his fridge and he would sit there and play World of Warcraft from Friday when he got off to Monday when he had to go back in and he would just pull out double cheeseburgers and microwave them while he's sitting there and he started shitting in his trash can and peeing in bottles and just didn't move for like

Wait, wait, wait. He lived the meme. He did the... He did. And he got kicked out of the military because he was addicted to World of Warcraft and would play it 48 hours plus. And then he was doing that for weeks. And then it eventually got to the point where he wasn't even going into school or work anymore. And this is the military. You know, you can't really do that. You can't just not go.

And yeah, he got kicked out. Failure. No shit. That's wild. That man is 100% homeless right now. Oh yeah, absolutely. Homeless vet. Out of the fucking road. Anything helps, God bless. Like, okay, bud. I wasn't that bad. I know. But I played the shit out of World of Warcraft. I was never that bad. I remember one of my favorite experiences. Everyone, we got back from the range and they were like, hey,

we we have these uh the guns have to be left out if you watch these guns all night uh you can have the next day off and it was a thursday so i was like oh yeah i'll get friday and they were like but we have to keep these guns in a room i was like do i get to choose what room and they're like yeah i was like my room and i just locked the door and i stay in there and like yeah i was like yeah i was like put guns in my room world of warcraft on i was just like

gone yeah i think i hit like level that was like 56 to 60 on vanilla wow time like that was that yeah yeah and i was just grinding that i was like brd or bdr whatever it is yeah that's exactly what i did for that entire night i was like i get a do cq in my bedroom and play video games and get tomorrow off at night done done yes i'll take this easy

Yeah, I mean, just World of Warcraft, any of those games. I don't know, like, the older we get, it is definitely... I don't have... I can't play MMOs anymore. I can't play games in general. I do finishing storyline games. I don't know if it's... I couldn't finish... I haven't finished Cyberpunk. Dude, I would sit down. Like, so, RPGs were my fucking life. Back in the day, I didn't do MMOs as much as, like, single-player RPGs, whether that was because I didn't have internet or friends, whatever. But, like...

sitting down to finish a single player RPG, Morrowind was my big one. Elder Scrolls 3, Morrowind. That game will forever be like my favorite thing in the world. I would just shut off my brain for days and just play Morrowind. Like different builds, like just fucking nonstop. And now, I remember I tried to do a Skyrim playthrough and I like, I made it three hours in and I was like, I gotta go do something.

Anything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Because, I mean, that's like when I was younger, I did the same thing. Morrowind Skyrim. A lot of Fallout, stuff like that. A lot of Final Fantasy when we were in high school and middle school and stuff. Those story games, you just drown your life away doing that. Yeah, I'm the exact opposite now as an adult because, you know, kid, job, everything else, you would exactly be like, you know, you want to do something else that's productive and...

So, you know, you do Warzone and then we do Tarkov because it's like in, out, like... That's a job. And it's a job, though. And how I always explain it is...

There is active entertainment, inactive entertainment. We are working, creating content, doing this throughout the entire day. It's not passive anymore. It used to be background noise for us. We could sit down and just play whatever, and it was passive. You were just in. You were there. It didn't matter. Yes, exactly. Now you have to think the entire time. So when I get off of stream, when I get off of stream, I want inactive entertainment. I want to turn on a TV show. Yep. And I want...

I don't want to play a video game. I do not want to do anything. Dude, I don't sit at my PC. No. God, no. I'm like, I don't want to be here anymore. I'm an introvert, so I get no energy from it. I know you aren't. You get energy from everything. I'm just like, as long as the stream goes on, I'm just dying more and more. I love my community. I'm just, my own personality is like, it kills me being in front of people. I'm like, oh, God, I'm...

I need to be. I miss dude. Do you think our careers have ruined that for us? Absolutely. 100%. I used to game for fun. I don't game offline anymore. So I've tried a few, like every now and then I can try to get in a couple hours of like offline entertainment. It's usually to game with somebody, but the amount of times people are like, yo man, let's just get a couple games in offline. I'm like,

I know people that are listening to this and they're probably like, oh, wow, you get to play video games for a living. It's like any job, man. Yeah, it's kind of ruined it a little bit. When you make a job out of a hobby, it takes that little bit of a spark that was your hobby away because you now have to think about a lot more than just fucking having fun.

yeah we play games but you have to worry about your analytics you have to worry about numbers you have to worry about fuck how many ad spots that i do how many how long was i live do i need to do i need to be live tomorrow because i took today off like fuck i'm taking three days off in a row this week which means for the rest of the month i have to be live every single fucking day for at least five fucking hours then you're like fuck i have to find a way to make me funny in game for five to eight hours every day for the next three weeks because i was like it's a lot man and i have to entertain my chat i have

have to entertain i have to do that while playing this video game for it's not just being live yeah that's what people fail it's like oh you just get to play video games for a living that's amazing that's the best dream it's we are blessed we are blessed with everything we do but dear god people that think this is like the easiest thing in the world when people come and work and hang out with like all of us i mean we have zex out here right now but he's out here yeah zex came and surprised business

Yeah. Literally. Where is he? At Matt's. He's going to be there tonight? Yeah. Oh, food. I can't wait to make fun of him in person. I know. Oh, man. That's all we were doing. Is he awkward? No. Well, he's just like, his mind is blown because he's coming into this community. We were at the gun range and he's just like,

Your guys' brains just don't shut off with content or ideas. We're like, no, we've got to do this X, Y, Z, Z, Z. We're always thinking of dumb, funny shit. Yeah, and it's like that conversation will keep building and building, and then you're moving, and then stream, and then out. And you're like, okay. But he's like, man, it does look like all fun. And the other people that have came and worked with us that are fans or whatever, communities, and they see it, and they're like, oh, these guys actually hustle a lot.

This is not a "It's all fun and games all the time." It's like, no, this is a job.

And we treat it that way. And it is self-employed. That's why you're successful. Yes. Cause we're self-employed and we have the hardest part is having the motivation to do it yourself. That's where people fuck up all the time. You like you crushed this last week and then you sucked the month before. No, you know, it's yeah. Being self-employed in itself is hard. You know, you can wake up and like not do anything and,

That's fun. But yeah, I did that for like two months after moving here. I was trying to adjust and everything. But the past two weeks... Life's going to kick you in the dick sometimes. Yeah. You know, when your revenue gets cut in half because you decided to take a little break, you wake up one day and say, oh God. I mean, it's just like any job though. Sometimes you have paid vacation. Sometimes you don't. You never do. You don't get paid vacation off Twitch. And...

As soon as you lose that fucking momentum... Twitch, dude. You lose your momentum, your revenue goes... You got nothing, man. Absolutely nothing. I felt that. It was the same thing. During my move, tearing apart your PC, trying to move across the country, trying to fucking set up this ghetto fucking PC setup at Donut's house when I was living with you, then moving to my own house, then not having internet, then having my internet crash every day. It's like...

Fucking brutal, man. Thanks for helping me, though, with the PC. It's not done. Yeah. Right. Well, kind of. I just built a new PC because I'm doing the dual streaming PC setup. Yeah, big boy PC setup. I got a 3090 in my gaming PC. I mean, you're done. All you have to worry about is routing to make sure you have audio working properly between your two PCs. That was hard as shit to set up a dual PC. That's why I'm going to have Patty do it. Well, Artesian, their computer company, they're doing the... Do you know what kind of PCs they're building? No.

We're working with Matt and I for the bulletproof PCs. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah? Like, legit bulletproof. Can I shoot one? Oh, yeah.

Like AR-5. This is what we're supposed to do right here. I was going to work with them, but I'm working with Alienware. And then I told them about that and they didn't call me back. Yeah, we'll call you back in a couple days after we figure out some stuff. No, they didn't call me back. That's like us having the talks with Ranchwater. And it's like, oh, by the way, we also work with... You ever heard of Bud Light? Ranchwater, we don't. We don't, Ranchwater. We only love you. We love Ranchwater. Ranchwater.

We're still not officially sponsored by it, I don't think. But we are. Ranch Water. But we're not. Please message us back. Stop ignoring. They're leaving us on read. Fuck, man. So it's like, okay. So, yeah, we game a lot. Yeah, it's not as good as it used to be when we were kids.

But when we were kids, you could go through any game you wanted. You would just go, you'd crush it, right? Oh, yeah. When I'm playing Tarkov now, dude, I'm getting my ass whooped 90% of the time. And I play this game for a job. So, like, am I just that bad at games? Have I always been that bad? Like, when I play games now, like, Cyberpunk, man. I was playing Cyberpunk the other day. I got that bitch on, not the easiest setting, but, like, one up from the easiest. I still die.

Am I just not good? Like, are games harder? I play normal all the time. I am big on normal. I just don't care as much. Is that it, though? Is it that you don't care as much? Because I've seen you play Warzone, and you fucking care when you're playing Warzone, bud. I care about that. Now, okay, I will say, what was the last video game? I did beat Mario Odyssey recently.

And I went there and it took like a month. Did you play it on stream? No, this was like... You played a game for fun and you finished it. Yeah. Because it's Mario. It's not a whole bunch of time dedicated to something. Did you remember Mario 64 though? That was time and dedication. Yeah. So Mario Odyssey is not? No, the...

If you're not trying to get 120 stars, if you're not trying to complete the whole game, they don't take that long. That's what I was like running through. I was like five hours of your day or of your entire time and you can beat a game. You're like, cool, five to ten hours. This is manageable. Side note, watch Fallout Anthology speed run. So that is speed running all the fallouts.

We're talking like, are we talking three New Vegas? One, two. One, two. Three New Vegas and four. Homeboy. Not 76? Not 76. That trash pile. He beats all of them and New Vegas under an hour. Like, collective. What? Like, he was like, okay, this is Fallout 1. This is how we do this. And 10 minutes done. And I'm like, who is this? Do we know? This was on a, I don't know.

- Games Done Quick style speedrun shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was literally Games Done Quick. And you're like, wait, they beat these games this fast? And it's like, okay, so this is two, so this is what we're gonna do here.

Okay, 15 minutes, done. Okay, so Fallout 3 is a bit different. What we're doing is a mechanic called the glitch or speedrun or floating. It turns you into a jet. And I'm like, what do you mean it turns you into a jet? Whoa, man, he starts flying. And I'm like, oh my God, he's a jet. And he's just flying around the map. You're Starscream from Transformers. Roger, okay, got it. I was like, what the?

fuck is this but it's hilarious because you're like man these games are like 40 to 80 hour games dude i remember watching speedruns of morwen the game i've easily done like a 600 hour single playthrough before i beat it motherfucker's like i sneezed then he finished the game he's like yeah you just glitch through the fucking death wall then you're in the red mountain and you kill jagger there i'm like what the fuck just happened

We were talking about that last time, too, just how insane speedruns have gotten, where it's not even really a speedrun anymore. It's more just manipulating the code in the game with your character. Yeah, that's why you have glitchless or glitchruns. The glitchruns are just hilarious. Che, my brother, he's actually doing now a pen. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is this the brother that I got to delete all your money in Tarkov?

So one time Eli was playing. This was back when Eli used to play Escape from Tarkov. Should have been in the last episode of Trolls. Oh my god. So me and Kings and Eli were all playing Escape from Tarkov. And in that game you have like a stash where all your money is stored. And Eli left the room for fuck. Explain the app. Huh?

With the app that... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Eli left the room for a minute. But when we play, we used to use this program called a BitBot, where on Twitch people can donate small amounts of money, like pennies, 50 cents, whatever. And it would take control of your game and make a movement, whether that was opening up your inventory, deleting an item, shooting your gun, throwing your grenade, whatever. Now, in your inventory, in your stash, after you're out of a fight...

You could get it to delete stuff if the mouse was hovering over it. Well, we didn't tell Eli's brother, Chathis. So we were like, okay, bro, just hover your mouse over all of Eli's money and pretend like you're going to delete it right when he comes back.

And he's like, oh, I don't know, man. I don't want to fuck with him too much. We're like, no, don't actually do it, though. Just scare him. And then he's like, okay, okay, okay. Oh, he's coming back. He puts his fucking mouse over it. And me and Kings both were in Eli's chat waiting. We immediately donated money to the stream. And it just deleted every fucking penny. 20 million RuPaul's. No. Yeah, it was like 20 or 30. It was a lot of fucking money. I sit down. I'm like, ah, okay. Okay.

And I just look and Chase face in the background is like, panic. He starts like, panic. Yeah, he just sees it delete and disappears like, but I wasn't touching anything. The nervous back and forth. And I'm like, okay, what the fuck happened? Why is Batty laughing right now? I was cackling like.

What's so funny? I go to buy something. I look up. It's like zero. What the fuck did you just do? And they were like, I was like, they didn't say that would happen. They just said pretend to delete it. And then my chest is laughing. I was like, I hate all of you.

Oh my god. God bless BitBot. I mean, holy shit, that game, dude. On that fire trash heap, we're going to just end this episode. I'll reflect on that terrible memory for the rest of my days. Is that why you don't play Tarkov anymore? That one moment. Good. Drilled into it. You were bad anyways. I was. Awesome. Donut, do you want to close this out? Do it. Hi, everyone.

Donut here. It's the only way in. Dead inside. Donut. Can you say "BYE EVERYONE?" "BYE EVERYONE" Donut here. We're gonna close this one out. We have Mr. Eli Doubletap here. Mr. Batty. Hi, I'm Batty. No, it's Batty! Batty streams. Motherfuckers are tagging me "Batty streams @battystream" I'm like, "FUCK!"

Fuck all of you. Fuck Batty Streams. Eli DoubleFap, Bonoboperator, and Batty Streams. Love you guys. Love you. I love you both.