36 - Kotaku Sucks
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This is our first time using them, I just wanna be able to like... I know. Red dot, it's blinking. Red dot, it's blinking. Red dot, it's bl- Oh my- Look how good we look, guys! That's pretty- pretty dope. Oh my go- We have the wrong cameras, boys. I have a boner right now. Right?

We have real cameras because we actually started making money on the podcast. We can afford things. We finally turned on ad revenue. We'll do Black Cherry. Yeah, that took a minute. Ooh, Watermelon, Black Cherry. I'm going to go Black Cherry today. I got a water. I'm going to... I'm watching.

and the clap because we didn't clap for like three episodes yeah we didn't we didn't clap at all one we did he just cut it out his magic I don't know there was one where we clapped like 30 minutes into the episode for the first time and then we just didn't clap the last because people in the comments were like guys I was waiting for the

for the clap. Where's the fucking clap at? I was there an hour and five minutes waiting to finish that shit. Cut out the clap so people watch the whole episode. Yeah, put it at the end though. Wow, we look good. We look so... I'd fuck me. Say hi to Eli. It's racially ambiguous, buddy. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Donut.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. We're with Batty, Donut, and Eli Double Tap. Remember to like, subscribe, and comment below because we always forget to do this. So we're adding like a five-second segment. Yeah, wherever you're listening, whether it's on Amazon, Google, Apple, Podbean, Castro, or...

That other place, make sure you do a rating of not four stars, three stars. The highest one. The highest number. All of them. All the stars. Like Mario. I didn't know we were on Amazon. We are. That's cool. Are we? Yeah. Video? No. The podcast.

Hi everyone! Unsubscribe podcast here. We have Batty Streams, Mr. Beelai Bubblebap, and I am Dullnut Operator. And we have cameras now! We spent some of our money from the ad revenue that we finally turned on after nine months, ten months. A lot of months. A lot of months, but look at this. Hopefully our sound is working. We probably look fucking amazing. Batty's house is worth more now by double.

Because these three cameras. Betty's property value went up. Yeah. The IRS gave more of his dragons back. Like, dude, we're looking. Now they can really see your face of disappointment. Yeah.

I hate it here. I forgot how much I hate you two. We haven't recorded in like a month. Like a month and a half or a month or something. Yeah, it's been like a month and a half. Beginning of December. Yeah, when Arab was here. But we were saying we're happy we stocked up on filming there for a while. We had like four lined up. So you guys only missed, what, a week? Yeah, one week. It was probably two.

No, because this will be up Wednesday. What is today? Sunday. I don't know what day it is. Sure, maybe it'll be up Wednesday. Maybe it'll be up high on Wednesday. I go to start this. I was like, guys, we can record Sunday. So I think a late time is 2 p.m. is a good start time. First response, Batty's like, I'm going to be streaming for like 30 hours. Can we do 4 p.m.? I got to sleep. I was like.

What the? And then Donut's like, I get a text from Donut at 5 a.m. He's like, I found a Mexican Asian. He cooks donuts. He makes donuts. Yeah, I streamed like super late last night. I don't know. I couldn't fall asleep. And so I raided a, I was like, let's look for a small streamer to raid. And I found a guy who is a Mexican Asian who does power lifting and MMA. But the only difference is his family owns a donut shop.

And he streams it on Twitch, and it was really freaking cool. But he's like, Eli, but he makes donuts. Yeah, isn't your family only a restaurant or something? Oh, yeah. Jumbo Rito. It's called Jumbo Rito? You would. Gasp. Jumbo Rito. We do Asian cuisine. We? No. We, Eli? We. By we, I mean not Eli. Let me give a shout out to this guy real quick since I'm talking about him. His name's Hung Gek. H-U-N-G-E-K.

And he's up at like 4 a.m. every morning making donuts at his family's place on Twitch. Well, he has a very... I have a very Mexican name. He has the exact opposite. Yeah. It's very Asian. Yeah, he looks more Asian. Yeah, it sounds like it. It sounds like it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Hey, that last episode, I will say with Aaron, it starts hard. Dude, it goes out the gate. No, before anything...

He immediately opens up with calling Twitch soft and laughing and making fun of Twitch. Motherfucker got banned on Twitch like a day before we released the episode. It was fucking hilarious. Get fucked, Harrow, bro. Perfect timing. He's like, I don't know how I got banned. Oh.

Whoops. Dude, that episode went hard. I forgot. I was like, oh. The ending. I don't even remember that. That's better. We drank a lot. We drank this in time. Yeah, we did a lot. There was only a little gone from that. God, that was a good. I mean, well, hi, everyone. We upgraded. Everyone's back. We're all together finally. We have SHOT Show coming up.

We've missed each other. We did. I haven't seen Batty in like fucking a decade. It's like a decade, right? I'm not done. I'm not done letting go. I'm holding on to Eli's hand right now. I'm just not going to let go. So we did Christmas. We can talk about that in a minute, but we... We did do Christmas. I got c***ed. That's why we didn't have one week before two weeks ago. Bleep that out just in case, Fluck. No, don't call it COVID. Call it...

call it gingivitis. We got gingivitis. I had gingivitis. I had gingivitis.

I got the gingivitis where you're stuck in bed for a couple days. The coughing gingivitis. I got the coughing gingivitis. It was fucking terrible. I got the coughing gingivitis. Our dentists made us restrict for 10 days. We couldn't go anywhere. The CDC was very big on the gingivitis. Thankfully, now we all took some...

We threw the kitchen sink at our gingivitis. Yeah. So Donut got the gingivitis and then he was healthy. And then the next day, what happened, Eli? I was filming and got the gingivitis by being in close proximity of Donut's breath.

From all the making out. Yeah. From the kissing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Fair. Apple a day did not keep the gingivitis away. Then somehow Heather got the gingivitis. Weird on that one. Well, Kurt wasn't feeling very well there for a minute too. He might've gotten the gingivitis. But we all beat. I'm immune. Yeah.

We all beat the oral disease and here we are. The oral disease! Oh no! There, we covered it! Yay! This episode will still get flagged. Yeah, absolutely.

It took like a week for other one to get approved because we talked about it so much. I know. I mean, we didn't talk about it that much. It was just the very end. It was at the end of the episode we talked about it. It was like 30 seconds. You gotta bleep it. Like, you can't even use that fucking word because it'll flag it. Oh, yeah. Fluck also bleep out me saying I. Yeah, any. Yeah. It's bullshit, but. You can't say that either? I don't, you know, I don't know what the whole Joe Rogan thing happening right now.

We just bleep those words out, and it will look whatever. I don't care. It's tooth decay. Tooth decay is bad. It's a serious problem. Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. God, we're going to SHOT Show soon. I'm excited. I'm very excited. Wait, when is SHOT Show? January 18th or 17th through the 21st. Oh, no. It's like a week and a half. Oof. Okay. Yeah. We got to do that. We got to plan things. We know that Grantham's going to be there, and we're going to do a podcast with him because we're taking our setup.

Two shot show. So if it was scuffed now, wait till you see it. Then you think we had problems. Then we're going to have my friend Fuya on. Fuya is the best. I'm super excited to have Fuya on the podcast. She's fucking hilarious. Perfect. She's got crackhead energy. So.

So she's you with a vagina. But smaller. Oh, okay. Kind of a furry. So we'll cover that later. It's fine. Yeah, that's a what? Can she bring her fursona on the podcast? Is that what they're called? Fursonas? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you guys have way more? Now I'm the weird one. I thought.

I know. You are. You are the weird one. And then you guys are like, her fursonia? Her fursonia? What the fuck? No, I have tons of furry followers. Really? Because I made fun of them on Twitter. Yeah, you trashed on furry for a little bit. I trashed them for a while, and then they all started watching my content. They're like, hey, I like this guy's videos. So now I have tons of furry followers. Dude, that's a... What? Yeah. There was one big game. Who's the... Fox? Firefox? Oh, Mr. Fox.

Who's the he he's a professional fighter. He does video games. He's a fighter. He does fighting games. He wears the the furry hat. He's an actual furry. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't really follow any furries.

I don't. I don't know if I do. Fursona? Guys, in the comments below, what's your fursona? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. In the comments below, if you had to have a fursona, what would your furry name be? Like, what animal? Batty's a tabby cat. I can fucking... I hate that I just imagined you like that, just being fucking disgusting and like...

I just picture you needing your cat ears on me right now. Meow. I just picture Batty on his leather couch. Meow.

I don't have a leather couch. You would be on someone's leather couch tearing it up. Do you have a leather couch? No, I don't have a leather couch. Meow. I'm like, Batty, get the fuck off me. Batty, stop eating my Taco Bell. I'm going to get another cat and I'm going to name it Batty. Get a big fat ginger cat. What are you talking about? Mirror cat. Sorry, which Batty? Donut Eyes picture is a... I like a wolf. Yeah, dude. I can picture Donut Eyes as a wolf. Well, you gotta make him cool. Hell yeah. Is that cool? I don't know if they're...

It's like saying you're king shit on turd mountain. No matter what, you're still a furry. It's like, yeah, I'm cool. It's like, nah, you're still a furry though. You're the smartest guy with Down syndrome. Oh no. Now another group of people don't like us. They didn't like us already. It's okay, don't hurt them.

They couldn't get past the age restriction button. Oh, man. Who's going to be on the podcast next week, Eli? Mr. Tim?

Mr. Tim Hoon! Tim Blinity? Tim Blinity? Tim Blinity's gonna come to my poor person house and do the beard. Tim's huge into the furry scene. Yeah. So, super excited. Bird, bird. Could you imagine if Tim Kennedy was a furry? Like, who would have enough, who would talk shit to that man? Imagine walking up to Tim Kennedy like, fucking furry. Like, just get fucking, just clocked.

He's getting beat by a furry. That's his walkout UFC outfit. Oh, God. He puts his tail in. Meow. Meow. Meow. What's... I'm in. He walks out on all fours. It's a 30-minute walkout. Is Tim a cat, too? Yeah. God, I hope he doesn't watch our podcast. Oh, God, yeah. He's going to be like... Or he shows up in a furry outfit. Yeah. Tim brought the fucking heat. Tim, please show up in a furry outfit. Tim brought the heat, and I like it.

Oh, Tim. That's going to be a really freaking good podcast. I'm looking forward to that. I've only met him one time briefly at a Tim Montana show that we went to, and he seems like a really nice guy. He has crackhead energy, too. And he's super positive. He's just a nice dude. It's always that weird, do they do it for an act on camera where you're like, high energy. For cameras, I have way more energy than I will ever have.

off the fucking camera. Batty's just high energy. Yeah, I have ADHD or something. Donut's the same. You're like, you have that energy and then the second you get...

He's drained really quickly. Yeah. Especially, like, people don't understand how hard streaming is, like how draining it is, especially, too. We were talking about that in chat last night. People were like, it could be hard to be a streamer. It's like, nah, man, it actually is fucking draining, very, very draining. You get off and you're like, oh, shit, man. It's like I just ran a marathon. You have an extrovert that gets energy from it. Batty can do that stuff where then you have introverts.

That is the most soul-draining experience. So if you had a day where you're shooting, directing, filming, and then you have to go immediately stream, you're like, fuck, I just want to lay on my couch and watch Animu. I'm going to die. My Animu. Who is Tim Kennedy, by the way? Tim Kennedy. There's maybe some people. The most dangerous man on the planet? That's what they call him. I heard he couldn't even shoot a .22, though. Can't shoot a .22? No.

First podcast, we get our asses kicked. Watch this next week where Tim Kennedy beats my ass. If you guys don't subscribe here, we're all swollen eyes. I'm just not going to be in the chair. Tim's going to be in my chair. He replaces that. Now, Tim, UFC fighter, Army Special Forces sniper, TV show hunting Hitler.

Yeah, hasn't he had a couple TV shows? Yeah, he's like Dog the Bounty Hunter, but for Hitler. Yeah. I think. I don't remember. It's something like that. And then... He hunts Hitler! What the fuck? He hunts Hitler! It's his history show. I'm so confused. I haven't seen his shows. Yeah, he has some TV shows. Dude just brings that Tim energy, so we got him on. That's gonna be fucking dope. And then we have...

And what? Heather. Heather. Yeah, Heather will be gone. First female guest. Yeah, female guests.

Shit, dog. Girls on the pot. I'm going to get nervous. Gross. You guys, should we wear dresses for that episode to make her feel better? We probably should. Yeah. That's actually really good. I just really make her feel at home. Yeah. Get down on her level. Has Heather ever worn a dress? She wears a skirt like once a month. Okay. Hey, guys, it's unsubscribed. Today we're talking about periods. So, Heather, has your cycle started now? No.

I'm just feeling our cycles are synced. Let me check. No blood. That's what girls do, right? That's exactly what they do. Me as a female. Let me check. Digging around in the van. It smells like pennies. I gotta take some later. You gotta tell him something. You can't just say that on the phone.

I can't say this one on the podcast. The old Red Wing story. Okay, Roger. Oh, man. Well, this is great. I'm glad we're filming today. Yeah, it's starting out strong. You guys are on the fucking Tarkov. Oh, man. Full swing right now. I streamed so much Tarkov this last week.

Nine days, ten days, eight days? I don't know how many days. I've lost track. I don't know what day of the week it is. I didn't know. You were doing like... What's your longest stream you've done the past week? I did a 27 hour? Fucking brutal. I mean, it wasn't as bad. The last time... So for everyone who doesn't know what's going on, Escape from Tarkov is the game I usually play on stream. And once or twice a year, they'll do a big event called Twitch Drops where if you just watch a Tarkov streamer, you get free in-game items. And it really boosts everybody's numbers. So all the Tarkov community, the Tarkov streamers...

We'll all do super long streams because you each get like a day. So from like the 27th through like the 9th, it just Tarkov drops and everybody gets drops the first day. Everybody gets drops the second day. And by everybody, I mean the streamers. If you watch those special streams, you get those special items. So everybody's the first day, last day. And then each streamer gets like a special individual day where you you're on like the mine was the 28th or the 29th or no, mine was the 30th. Sorry.

And on that day, your numbers are just insanely high. Like normally I average 500 viewers. I was averaging 8,000.

Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a lot of the other guys, like Pastilli was hitting 200,000. I've seen this. Like, it's fucking nuts. So I did a 26-hour stream on the first day I did. Then I took a quick break and went live again on the 30th. And I did another 20, like, 8-hour stream. And then I was doing, like, 12, 13-hour streams all week. I think the shortest stream I did this week was, like, 9 hours, 8 hours. Damn, dude. And I did another...

I did like 16 the other night. I took a nap yesterday because I wasn't feeling well because of the leg tattoo. Fuck that shit. And then I did another 12 hours yesterday until I got off at like 5 a.m. I hear logging in is super fun. The queues are really quick. Oh, yeah. That's the first time I've seen queues on Tarkov. They just implement. So what's going on with Tarkov is because of how...

big it's gotten over the drops this this event there's so many people it was just breaking their back end like they just couldn't handle it plus they were actually getting hit by a DDoS attack during a lot of it so what they did is they implemented a queue system to log into the game so for any big game on you know wow release day new world you know you have to sit in a queue for a little bit

Worst case, the queue was like an hour and a half, two hours for some people. I never sat in it for more than an hour. Yeah. I think on average, I was like 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Oh, that ain't too bad. So I like peak times. You're right. At seven o'clock on a Friday afternoon, it kind of sucked. You're right. Sure. I didn't think it was that bad. And-

It was either the queue system, you wait in the queue, or the game just would break randomly while people were playing it. That's what I was hearing. There was rollbacks. You'd do two or three different raids, and you'd be getting all this gear. Then all of a sudden, you'd get kicked. You'd log back in. Those raids never happened. It was like rolling rollbacks and shit. It got pretty bad in the beginning because of how...

Slime the servers were. Yeah, the servers were like, oh, man. They had a data center go down for that host, one of their servers, one of the days as well. It got pretty bad, yeah. They just had some bad luck that whole time. Yeah, the data center thing is not their fault. It's not like the data center is like, oh, we have to go down for emergency maintenance. And they're like, could you have done this a week before? What? What? So Targava has been absolutely insane. But they did a really cool update where they added Santa Claus to the game. Oh, no. I didn't see any of that. Like, I...

Was Santa an asshole or they had Santa in war zone, too? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I want to know. So Tarkov Santa was a regular scav, except he had a white beard, a red hat and a job. You remember the purple backpacks? Oh, yeah. They made one red like a giant red backpack. Santa would run around the map to like the popular spots. And he was always not not aggressive. He would just stand there. And if you ran up to him, he would throw an item on the ground in front of you.

And if you threw an item down on the ground, he would pick it up and he would drop you a better item. And it was random. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, that's fucking dope. So I did the reasonable thing and I killed him every single time I saw him. Did you take his shit? Dude. So if you kill him, his bag didn't have good stuff, except if he picked up other people's stuff.

Also, one of the bad things is if you killed him, you got really negative rep. So in the end, it was like scav rep. You were just ruining your scav rep. The final tally at the end of the thing was Batty 16, Santa 3. So if you shoot him, Santa had a lot of health. If you didn't kill him quick, that motherfucker turned on your ass. I shot him accidentally last night. I ran into him on reserve. And you panicked for me. I panicked and I hit him in the head twice with an SVD and he didn't die. That's when I would have panicked more.

I shot a man in the head twice, and he's like running at me. Yeah. I'm like, no! Nonny! Is he charges at you? Yeah, not great. See, that's crazy. We had Krampus for Warzone. Yeah, it was Krampus. Krampus. Krampus is a fucking cockhead. Who also had a...

So much fucking health. So war zone, it's 150 players and teams of four. Krampus just randomly picks what team he's going to go after. And until you kill him, he does not stop chasing you. We won battles because we would be like, it's last circle. We're in a good position. And we see a team of four. And you just see Krampus running. He's like, just punching the team. And they're shooting at him. And we're like.

We're just mowing the team down? Because they're trying to kill Krampus. Because he'll fucking... What did he look like? He looks like a demon. He has horns and shit? Yeah. So he's throwing snowballs that make you move slow. And then he hits you and he can two-shot you. And he will litter, especially when the first two weeks, they... It would take like...

like 40 rounds from a shotgun point blank to drop him. Jesus. Oh my God. If you do a damage, he'll disappear then reappear somewhere else and you just hear his laugh the entire time and he does not stop chasing you for, it's I think five minutes.

countdowns so if you're in a team fight and then he's just beating your ass teleporting you're like you fucking piece of shit just engaging him engaging the bad guys it was it was fucking chaos cool i gotta look that up it was fun it was fun it sucked when you see krampus is attacking your team you're like because you just be standing by the christmas trees and then you'd accidentally hit him instead of the guys you were trying to kill and you'd be like

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So that's exactly what happened to a lot of people in Tarkov. Santa would just be running around. You'd turn a corner in a dark room. Scab! And you'd shoot him once in the leg and all of a sudden it's like... It's like, shit! And he's got like an auto shotgun and he'd just mag dump your ass into the ground or...

So bad. Yeah. But you've been playing, don't even playing Tarkov with John a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. John, my 12 year old, he's, he's like super into Tarkov right now. He loves playing it. I like, you said, John, my 12 year old, like you have another John. That's like five. That's true. There might be people who don't know who John is. John, my five year old, not John, my 12 year old, not my other John.

I have several Johns. You made a backup just in case. Just in case. You've got to recycle this one. Yeah, he's been loving Tarkov, though, lately, man. Even though that computer I got for him off Amazon crashes every two matches. So that's kind of lame. Cool, Amazon. Thanks. Tell him to bring it, and I'll fix it. Yeah, I can probably fix it. I swear those fast Amazon computers, that's the third one I've heard doing that, because we've ordered two.

Same shit. Really? They're just janky. I don't know if it's the OS or the software they put on it, but they're fucking trash. Are they slow? They're supposed to be fast? I wouldn't have done it. Zydex was building him one, but he wasn't going to get it before Christmas, so I was like, well, I want him to have his Christmas present, so I just ordered him one off Amazon. It was expensive, dude, because of the price of video cards and stuff right now, and it's just a piece of fucking garbage. I'm really mad about that one. That's so fucking strange.

Yeah, when it does work, he's been loving Tarkov, man. He says it's his favorite game now. He's addicted to that and zomboyed right now. Good news, Tarkov, no microtransactions. That's true. He can't steal my money now. Yet. Yet. Till Nikita gets greedy. Nikita finds out. John. John's the pivoting point for microtransactions. Children like our game now.

Donuts Kid likes our game now. Add microtransactions. Now, it's the time to shine. No, Tarkov looks fucking good now. It's better. It runs good. It runs smooth. I mean, compared to like three years ago. Yes, absolutely. It's night and day, honestly. The game has been performing better than it ever has. Overall, new maps. The new map, Lighthouse, is fucking awesome. It's brutal and very difficult. I've seen the mines.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they had minefields to... We're one of the best... Whoever edited that on your thing, I was cracking up. That was Fluck. So...

Fluck, our editor, did a quick video of me. I spawned into Tarkov and I took like, I didn't know where I was. It's a newer map and it was when the newer map came out. I didn't know where I was. I was lost on the new map. I spawned, panicked because I didn't know where I was, ran like 20 feet in one direction, hit a landmine, panic, turned around, immediately hit a second landmine and died. Oh yeah, Fluck, throw that up here. Let's show everyone. It's good. Yeah, that little edit had me cracking up. Yeah, it was funny as hell.

Okay, where am I chat chat this way I don't know where I am. Oh, bro. I'm fucking lost chat. Where the fuck am I? Am I going the wrong way? Is it that way? It's that way. What the fuck is the goddamn lighthouse? I go that way. Okay this way. It's gotta be this way another one Did I just spawn in a minefield?

And yesterday I had another landmine adventure, which Flux is editing, where I'm playing with genitals and she we're like getting ready to creep up on these. There's a new type of AI called rogues and they are monsters, bro. Holy shit. They're worse than raiders. Oh God. So much harder. And they'll aggro at like two to 300 meters.

Yeah. They're on .50 cal turrets and grenade launchers like Mark 19. They're the Russian equivalents, but... And on the ground. Yeah. But their own rooftops. They have a compound and their own rooftops. And yeah, they have the Mark 19. You gotta try to get into the compound and shit and they'll just fucking destroy you. Oh, dude, they're lasers from across the map. So me and Jen are hiding behind a rock, getting ready to like peak one to try to shoot him. And she's like...

Hey, hey, baddie, isn't there mines right there? I'm like, no, they're farther out. Whoa. As I step on the mine, you just see me walk back in like my limbs are all ate up and shit. Yeah, I shot one of them on the roof.

I was playing with my, with a foul. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, don't shoot the guy on the roof. I'm like, no, I got a cool sniper rifle. We were doing a scav run. I was like, no, I'm going to shoot him in the face. He's like, I'm telling you, donut, don't do it. And I shot him and instantly five Raiders are five rogues ran out of the warehouse that he was on top of and just fucking smoked me. If you're anywhere near the mid compound and you shoot, there's a, so there's rogues on the rooftops and there's a roamers. They're called rovers. Cause they just roam this compound. They're usually in one area to start.

And there are two groups of roamers. And if you aggro these motherfuckers, they will hunt you down. Yeah. I haven't seen any of this shit. I got trapped in a room in one of the buildings because we thought the compound was cleared out. We thought another team had cleared it out because we were like just walking in. We're like, oh, we're good. There's nobody here. Fuck yeah. Getting our tasks done because there's a bunch of new quests you have to do in this compound. But of course.

So I'm like in this room, grab my oven. All of a sudden I hear as my buddy gets a knife. It was Drew ski. Drew ski gets fucking annihilated. And I'm in this little room. Like I got a sniper rifle in inside a small building. So I can't even like aim. And I like peak was like, they annihilate the entire door and window. I'm at, I'm just murder. The,

The rogues are rough. Yeah, they're rough. But it's fun. God, this, okay. It's rewarding. They drop really good stuff. Yeah, they're all like, like, kid, because they're called rogue usex. So they're using M4s, they're using AKs with like the best ammo. Oh, so they're literally just like, as you're saying, the raiders just. They're like raiders plus a level. God, I, see, that's what Tarkov does so fucking good. I need to play it more. I just. Yeah, Eli, remember when you used to play games with us? That was cool. Before Warzone. Yeah.

God damn you, Warzone. You took our friend. And now I'm back in iRacing. Oh yeah, you just got your whole racing set up. Yeah, talk about that. Let's hear it, Mr. Fucking... I got a race car in my house now. Yeah, I do. And I'm fucking... I told you earlier, I'm .5 seconds off the world record on the track now. Which track? I don't know. Explain iRacing, first of all. .05 seconds. I don't care about your .05 seconds. Yeah, I'm quick in bed too. I get it.

Point zero, five seconds. Speed running the sex, baby. I did it. Yank first, you're last. Boom. And Lori's like, oh. Go get the towel. See you in an hour, babe. I'll try again.

iRacing Eli sim it's a sim racer so it's a sim racing it's a realistic racing and you have to have like the steering wheel wheels pedals all that shit so think of Forza but way more realistic yeah like where I forgot dude the races are fucking brutal I forgot about that because I've only done one race being back because nothing my shit from a decade ago 11 years ago all of it stayed the same so my iRating which is your level in the game yep

the same. So I came back. I was like, cool. I get to start new, figure out everything. Wait, this game is a decade old? Yeah, it's 12 years. I keep it 12. Yeah, 12 years. I've never even heard of it. Yeah, it's old. So I was like, oh, fuck. I'll just start new. I'll figure it out. Blah, blah, blah.

And then I seen eye rating is like there. And I'm, I like joined the first practice sessions and like, what's everyone's eye rating? It's like a thousand, 1800, 1500, 1100, 2000. I was like, sweet. What's I was like, okay, so that's still here. That will be your divisions where you put, I'm at 4,000 eye rating.

Fuck. And then like my buddy that was- Oh, so you're immediately dropped in the hard mode. Yeah, I was in division one. Everyone thinks- You just woke up from a fucking eight year coma. They're like, no, you got to still go. You're still in the hard mode. Yeah, and that was literally my buddies that were watching. They're like, yo, you're going to have some sex.

Like you are in the sweatiest of lobbies. And I was like, so I do the Miata series on that. I was doing the Mustang Miata and the Porsche cup, but the Miata series was like, I got to get road Atlanta short. I got to get this back down. I was like one awaits. And then the guys that I don't know what, I don't know what the words you're saying mean right now. A minute, a second for a lap. Okay. Per lapse, a minute eight. And I was like, sweet. I was like, where is that?

And then my, the guys that were my viewers were like, oh, I do one Oh sevens. I was like, fuck.

So then the next day I'm at 107s and then I'm at 106s. And then I look at the times and they're like, oh, they said the top qual, they're like, your top 1% is going to be 105.9 is going to be the top 1%. And then the top, top world record is going to be one minute, four seconds, 0.9 for world record lap time on this track. I was like, sweet.

I'm at one minute, five seconds, 0.06 right now. 0.06, yeah. So everyone is like, my stream was like, you literally cut off four seconds and are now just averaging that as your every lap. I was like, yeah, I told you I was decent at this game at one time. And they're like, no, you're like fucking stupid. This is your artistic ability. Yes, this is my artistic ability. Ryan's proud. Yeah.

But I got it down. I was like, I rated one dude and his eye rating was 5000. I was like, holy shit, this dude's a fucking monster. And he's like, oh, what's up? I was like, oh, here you go. And he's like, oh, you haven't played in a decade. How is it being back? I was like, bro, I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing. And he's like, well, that's where you were. And I was like this and this. He's like, oh, let me see.

He's running it. And he's like, what lap time did you get? I was like 104 flat or 105 flat. I was like right about to get a 104. Running, running. He's like, bro, you're like fucking... He was getting a 105.4. And he's like, I am considered really fucking fast in this. And he's like, what the fuck did you use to play in this? I was like, back in the day, this was my jam. I still got it. Still fucking got it. It's just good to be back because it is like a fucking...

Once it clicks, I was like, yeah, this new steering wheel and everything. It does feel good to get into a game, like an older game, and just be like,

I'm good at this dude. Right. That's what it was like when I used to, like we, uh, I went back to, um, so I was in a tech program for community innovation, web design back when I was in high school. And I used to go back and do little things to talk about how you can do different things on Twitch or become a content creator to these kids. And I would do like little speeches and talks to the kids about, about shit they can do in Vermont. Cause it's a small state, not a lot of tech.

And we used to always play Super Smash Brothers, like the old school N64 one. That was like our after class or during lunch. We'd sit in the fucking hangout and play Smash. And I wasn't great at Smash, but then Melee came out. Oh, you can way dash and everything. GameCube dudes. Melee was my shit. And it just was like, you'd go back and you'd be like, we're going to play fucking GameCube this time. We're not playing N64. No, no, no. Put that weird controller away.

Give me the GameCube one. And it just felt good. You'd sit back down and you'd play the game like that and you'd be just good at it. Any of you know what wavedashing is? No? Okay, I'll show you real quick. Wavedashing was actually super technical. That's why I was surprised. So wavedashing was an...

Accident? Melee was crazy because it was an accidental pro fighting game. Yeah, yeah. Melee went pro and then people were just discovering the craziest shit with that game. What is it? There was so many things that the programmers didn't mean to do. And they implemented in the game like wave dashing and all these little things.

That would give you like a couple frames faster for attacks. And you had to be like individual frames faster. So and it's very technical on you have like how you hit it, movement, everything, landing, how you're attacking. And it added it made a game that was supposed to be family friendly with not because Nintendo a lot for a long time said this is not a competitive game.

And then it became one of the top competitive games ever because all these minor things. It changed shit. It did. And that's why I still think my favorite series is goddamn the Smash Bros. Yeah. Have you watched it? Oh, no. I thought you were talking about the- Bro, did you watch the Smash Bros? Have we talked about this? I don't think so. The Smash Bros? I don't know what that is. The fuck? The fuck?

Oh my God. Guys, after this, you're going to go on YouTube and watch it because you can watch it. You want to forget. We do this every episode. We drink too much and forget. I'm going to send you... It's the best YouTube series you will fucking watch, especially as a Melee player, bro. Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Check it out.

It is the competitive fighting scene for all of Smash Bros. So Melee starting in Nintendo 64 era and then going into Melee. Into Brawl. And they started this doc series. It released in 2012 or 13.

They started filming it in 1999 or no, 2001 Nintendo 64. So they were filming it on cameras and you get to see it. Cam quarters and you see it upgrade through till it became on Evo. Then it followed, um, uh, who are the big, um,

uh, melee players and smash bros. They still, they're the big ones still, but you got to watch that entire progression. It was like East coast versus West coast. And it was when it was off the grid and you'd have these kids playing and they'd land party style. Yes. And you see them go to local tournaments and they're recording it. And then they're like, yo, this is, this is the best case in the West coast. This is the best kid on the East coast. And then they finally had the main tournament and Matt, it's fucking, it's four hours. I was good at melee, but I was like good in my friend group. You know what I mean? I wasn't,

good at melee i was just better than the people around me oh you guys are gonna watch this and this is the only time i've watched it three times four hours i will sit down and watch the entirety of it starts off so hard because they're like this is

He was like a guy like you as a kid that he's recording. He's like, hey, you're going to play a fat ginger. You're going to play our Korean big ginger cat Korean DJ. He's one of the top players. And they're like, hey, you're going to play him. So he's like, oh, and Korean DJ just held back.

And the friend's like beating him. He's like, oh, you just got to practice more. And he's like, okay, now Korean DJ is actually going to try. He's like, okay. And then Korean DJ lost all his lives and then he went go.

And he five-stalked the dude without getting touched. And he was like, what the fuck just happened? Because Korean DJ then started waved at everything, not taking single damage. It was like, boom, back up. Dude, juggling and you're like slam dunk. He's in the shit like right off the edge. Bam, straight down. It's like, oh, God. Yeah.

Do it all oh, I'm gonna send you guys. Oh, it's so good to buy a GameCube I'm gonna buy a fucking GameCube man. I miss that shit game with the little mini discs GameCube is really cool as fucking cause they weren't even circles right was not like a circle there Yeah, they were just small ones. Oh, I like this. Yeah, it was size of your sticker I think what was the system where they weren't circle? It was a disc, but they weren't circle They were like the top it was like the top and the bottom were cut off on the circle and

The top and the bottom. They had the PSPs had the weird. Oh, yeah. PSPs had. That weird plastic. They had the disc inside the plastic thing. They had the weird. It was a PSP? I don't know. I think it was some GameCube games. Yeah, some GameCube games were like that. They were weird. I think. Impossible.

Maybe I'm tripping. I don't know. Dude, GameCube is fucking... GameCubes were cool as shit, though. Those didn't do very well, did they? Wasn't that like the Dreamcast of the Nintendo world? It didn't do well, I think, off launch, and then eventually it picked up. Yeah. That's the only thing I'm missing from my collection of vintage game systems is a GameCube. You need an EOGO.

Oh, I don't have that either. Neo Geo was a handheld, right? No, there is a handheld. There's the Neo Geo Lynx. Yes, the Lynx. My stepdad way back in the day had a Lynx. It had a Lynx and I used to play that. It was colored, but it was colored. It was color. It was massive.

It was awful. The games were fucking shit, but it was so much fun to play. It was like 12D batteries. Yeah, sure. I think it was eight AA's. It was like eight or ten AA batteries. It was insane. Yeah. Back in the day, and those batteries did not last.

No, you burned a couple hours, dude. You're cooked. Because that was a colored screen. Because you got to think only the Game Gear and the Lynx were the only two colored systems handhelds at that time. This was pre the Game Boy, the original green Game Boy, right? It was pre that. Right after. It came right after. Oh, it was right after that? Okay, okay. Game Gear was the Sega one, right? Sega Game Gear with Sonic and a couple others. God.

And then the Lynx was that one, which was... It was fucking... It was beautiful. It was ahead of its time for that. But God, that was fucking... It was a... It was big. Big ass boy right there. It was like a Switch, but like five times the width of it. Yeah, literally. It was like that, yeah. Neo Geo Lynx, Neo Geo, the system system. So that was a true arcade at home. But the...

Like only the rich kids had that motherfucker. That was... That's why I didn't know anyone who had that. The games were $200 to $700 per game. What? Now they are... Like if you look up some of the games, they were like fucking like $20,000 to $50,000. Yeah. I'm not getting that. Never mind. Do you remember the Nintendo system that looked like a pair of binoculars and it was red? All the graphics were red. You look through it and you play the game. Nintendo... Oh!

because I'm going to get it. Wait, it is. I don't even know what you're talking about. No, it is the it's so weird. It's almost like a VR thing. Yeah, it was the first VR. But but all the graphics were red. Yeah. So they did a red because I don't know why the fuck they chose red because it gave you it was called the migraine system. It was horrible. I can't remember what it's called, though. The Nintendo...

Motherfucking... I don't look it up. But give me the first letter so I won't... Because it only had like 30 games or 20 games. It would give you a headache. It wasn't 3D, but you'd have to have your head like right here. And the games were garbage. Okay, you ready? You ready for it? The first letter. V. V.

Virtual virtual virtual boy. Yep. Yep. Yep. Look at this fucking thing, dude. Like, and it wasn't a head thing. It had a little tri legs. So it had little, you couldn't even strap it in your head. You had to just like sit there at a table and no virtual boy. Put your head to a picture of this thing. Yo, but the controllers, like what they started doing the, yeah, it's like early, early game cube net. It's like a weird game cube nest mix.

Bro, that if you wanted to look at an in-game screenshot of it, if you want a headache, I see it right here. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, oh, God, it's all red. Why is it? They didn't have color. So it was a big flop. That thing flopped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd never even heard of the damn thing. And there was no you had to sit like so think you'd have to have a table perfectly on that height to put your head up. Mm hmm.

Yeah, that's it. Oh, it's so awful. Fluck, Fluck, throw some of these screenshots of the end game. It's all just red and black. End game is all just red and black. This looks pain. It is. It would give people the fucking worst headaches ever. Oh, no, thank you. You come out and your eyes are like burning. What a horrible idea, too. Like that whole thing. You can't even strap it on your head. Like you said, you have to like get to the perfect level and then lean into it. And then get a migraine. I mean, I get migraines already. I'm good. I'll pass. You're like, no.

Thank you. Yeah, the fucking Virtual Boy. That was, I mean, you can find those. It was just a weird time where, like, developers were trying to come up with the newest, coolest idea, but they were kind of overreaching. Nintendo had some good ones, and then some trash donkey third parties would develop. But Nintendo still made trash donkeys like that. I mean, let's be real. Nintendo still. The Wii U? Really? We're going to say the Wii U was a success? Yeah.

I still liked it. Oh, shut the fuck- The Wii U was the dumbest shit. It was a dumbass name. Ugh.

Because they didn't even do anything with the name or anything. They were like, ah, we're just going to, we have the Wii U. It's at a U, and they were like, oh, they literally admitted they fucked up. They should have named it because it was a different console. It was a completely different fucking thing. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought it was just an expansion onto the Wii. That's why I never even looked into buying one. It just was like, oh, so it's the PS5 Pro? It's the next version? No. Oh, no, it's a completely different fucking thing. Yeah, that's why they fucked up. It was so dumb.

But then that Nintendo Switch. That was a fucking... That's why I love my Switch. Yep. That thing's a fucking... We were talking about this the other day. Imagine if RimWorld was on Switch. Oh, God. I wish RimWorld was on Switch. That would be so cool. I would waste so much time in so many places. Just invent...

Already, the only game I ever play on my laptop is RimWorld. Because I just want to chill in bed and just grind my face into nothing for just playing fucking RimWorld. And sometimes I just get sick of having a laptop on my fucking lap while I'm sitting in bed. But a Switch? Yeah. That would be super cool. Have you played RimWorld yet? No. Oh, man. Someone asked me the other day. They were like, what's the biggest war crime you've done in RimWorld? And I was like, well, my last colony...

was on a frozen tundra, and my biggest exports were cocaine and cowboy hats made out of human flesh. It's like, you can commit some atrocities in that game. It's a different type of game. No, it's fun as shit, though, man. RimWorld early is not anything crazy, but when you learn RimWorld, oh my god! It's a dwarf fortress. Yeah, it's a dwarf fortress, but in space. And you can't dig down.

It's space fortress. Yeah. It's like Dwarf Fortress where you can't control the dwarves, but you can build buildings and kind of put things up that they're going to do. It's the same thing. Maybe, maybe,

Yeah, maybe gonna do eat each other. Yeah, maybe they kill each other. Maybe you had a big kill each other I had like one where a couple guys went site like psycho or whatever they went crazy just straight just murdered everyone's got murdered and then the last guy bled out and died and that was the end of my game I was like oh does it just say game over? No, the game keeps going. This is the thing you have no no you just have to quit. Yeah Okay, I'm gonna have to give this a real world it's a

a very easy game to get into, but a very, very difficult game to master. - I have more hours in that than any game other than World of Warcraft. - You have like 5,000 hours in it, don't you? - Yeah, I got a ton of hours in the real world. I don't know, I got addicted to it, man. It's my go-to, like you said, my chill game.

And it's fucking fine, man. Okay. You got to give it a try. A little try. That's the one we should do for our episode. Because we can... The download's probably like five megs. Oh, yeah. It's tiny. Small as fuck. We just have us three. Start a colony with us three on there. You start with... The base starting is three people.

And you can do prepare. How do we breed together? Yeah. You can do, oh, like dudes can get married and like fall in love with each other. Can we make babies? Yeah, butt babies. Yes. But no, you can use a mod called prepare carefully and you can start with as many people as you want and whatever characteristics or appearance. Normally it's only like three, four or five, right? Or two, three, four? Yeah, you can put a hundred people and if you want to prepare carefully. So we do us. You can find other people normally.

right? Yeah. Yeah. That's how you have to find like, uh, other wrecked colonists or whatever, and you can bring them into your community or. So that's what we do. We should do murder boat where each of us controls our colony every, like for a day or something. Oh,

We start with us three. I feel so bad when I just get us all killed and ruined. Eli's going to get us all killed. He's like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what they're doing. They're starving. Where's food? I think that's a good way. That's a great intro to gaming. But, like, I mean, we don't even need to swap at all. I would be happy just watching Donut fucking play and then trying to learn to play RimWorld again. Based off of watching Eli do it. Oh, my God. So what we'll do is this. We have...

It will start with the three of us. We can repopulate with that many, or do we need one female out of that? They wander in. Yeah, the people. You'll find random girls. Otherwise, I was going to say we just rock, paper, scissor, and loser has to be a girl. No, it would be like female baddie. You're so bad, it's like, no, no, no, I'm a girl. Oh, Jesus. Choo, choo.

Eli and Donut are coming back. Oh, God. It's time to repopulate. You could add Heather with us in the game and see what happens. Oh, no. Oh, no. Damn it, Batty, why?

No, RimWorld would be a good start to our little game series. You want to tell people who would review that? Oh yeah, depending if we do that today, because it'll be a 30 minute segment. I don't know how long the download would take. We're going to start a gaming 30 minute episodes once a week. So you guys will have the podcast on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on when our shit schedule is to upload on. How drunk or sober we are that day. Yeah. And then on Monday or Monday. We're going to say Monday. Okay.

Monday. Not this Monday. Not the one after this one. Definitely not. Maybe. We'll see. Definitely not. We'll upload that so we'll have a gaming story that are 30 minutes. Still treat it like the podcast. But it gives more content for everyone to consume, laugh, have a good start off the week. Fucking awesome. So...

We're terrible, depending on how I've seen all our episodes. I don't know how it helps you guys. We're not great. I started that one at podcast. I was like, Jesus, we go hard. Is this the normal cadence for our podcast? I was like, yes, it is. The last couple have been spicy. Just out the gate. Yeah.

Yeah, they were a little spicy. Especially the Arab one. Yeah, it was great. I love one of my favorite comments was, I thought you guys were doing, being racist and calling this guy just A-Rab. That's his name! And that's why he's like, then I realized it was his name. We had just a random guy on and we're like, we have A-Rab on. Look at his skin. Today we have two white guys and Mexican. Creepy.

I'm starting to realize why it took so long for that one to get up. The week now makes sense. All right. Thanks, YouTube. The YouTube rep was like, oh, it's just sweating. If I monetize this. We've actually, I just realized that like some of our older ones got switched to yellow. Did they? Really? How many? I didn't see an email. I found two that had been switched to yellow. The tattoo one.

I don't remember which ones it is, but I went through and I requested reviews on those. So, hey, maybe those will turn green again someday.

Yeah, the tattoo one did. I figured maybe because we're shirtless. Nipples. No, that wouldn't be yellow, though. Boy nipples. Yeah, you know what's still monetized on YouTube? The dildo versus real dick video. Have you seen that? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, dildo versus real dick. Wait, do you know what that is? Oh, is it a chick? No, no, it's a dude. It's a dude with a... He's bent over, and there's a curtain on his back, and there's a dude behind him over the curtain.

And it's dildo versus real dick. And it's still monetized on YouTube. YouTube confuses me. When I came up with that concept. Matt was really excited about it. Oh, no.

Let's play a game. Name that whiskey bottle. Oh, no. Oh, that was Jameson. It's long. Oh, that's a handle. Why is it crowned? No, not the crown. It's definitely a $60 bottle of Cheetos, not the $20. It's very girthy. Oh, man. I mean, it's about time in this podcast.

That I mentioned cum. Thank you. Oh my god. People were mad at me too because of that. Yeah. Got that out of the way. No, we talked about cum fairly early in the air. Eric brought it up. Yeah. He got to it first. Slam dunked it hard. Oh, thank you. Slam dunked that cum. Bunk! Cum! Nice. Throw it in Batty's eyes.

Glasses, I'm good. Oh, man, our merch should be coming out sometime soon. I'm hoping this is about January. I was thinking of the T-Rex with the cum towel and just whipping it up in there. The Demo, I just like talking to Demo's employees about all this. Here's our list of merch. Cum. Subscribe. It's like, cum subscribe to the podcast, but jizz. But spelled C-U-M.

Get it? Jizz subscribe. You guys aren't even being original now. You said cum to everything. Here's semen subscribe. Jizz subscribe. Got cum. It's like got milk with cookies, but it's jizz. You guys get it? You heard of bathwater? Well, we sell cum. Oh, no. Just batty jerks. Could you imagine? Could you imagine? No, no, no, no.

Instead of gamer girl's bathwater, it's just like... Gamer boy cum. Gamer boy cum. It's just a little cum. How many babies you got running around out there? It's yours. Bitch, I've never... Receipt for $30. Damn it, that's going to cost me way more than $30. 18 years. Let me see it. God damn it. It's ginger. 5'4".

I know. Four Matt Carragher's employees making his shirts and Kentucky Ballistics and all those guys. And then we go in there that one day and we're like, all right, T-Rex being impregnated with a cum towel. There you go. I like it. Can you put the little pink there, the more pink blush on the T-Rex?

It's really, really enjoying the cum. I need some, that towel needs to be more of a red to contrast the white cum. Hey, Flo, can we get a cum counter for this conversation? How many times have we said cum? It needs to be more cummy.

Podcast wasn't coming enough. We brought it back. I really missed you guys. You know, this month away was rough. I know. It was rough. Bro, I don't like being isolated for that long. I was just like... I got fucking... When Lori had... Oh, yeah. Sorry, gingivitis. Yeah, gingivitis. When Lori had... When Lori had the coughing gingivitis. One heart beat in there. But she had the gingivitis. I never got it. I was fine the whole time. And I was just like...

Like, losing my mind, like, because I didn't know what to do. Because I was like, I feel like I need to isolate too, because I'm in a home with somebody with... With gingivitis. With gingivitis. So I was just like, I'm just going to stream 18 hours a day for the next three weeks. Here we go. That's why, yeah, it's fucking like... I remember, was it a year and a half ago now? How long ago was the...

January 2020 was SHOT Show, so it's been two years. You're talking about when we all got it? No, when we all had to isolate. When was the fucking isolation happen? It started like early. It was like quarter two of 2020. Early quarter two or late quarter one of 2020. I forgot about that shit. It's 2022, man. It's been two years. That's insanity. Yeah. It's fucking insanity. It's crazy, man.

Two years of gingivitis. Two years of gingivitis. Remember how scared everyone was? And that's why you floss, okay, everyone? That's why you floss. Fucking floss and mouthwash. People are going to be like, these guys' mouths are so dirty. Everyone gets gingivitis around them? Gross. Yeah. It's because of those big mouths. Oh, okay.

Oh, we're going to get Nico Ortiz on soon. Yeah. He just said to just let him know what day. He just wants to come out. Literally, that's the same. I was texting him. He was like, whenever. Meat Canyon was texting me last night.

And I would like to have him on. Yes. I would 100%. He's been asking me. He's like, hey, dude, when do you want to hang out? Because he stepped away from his main channel. Did you see that video? Uh-uh. Yeah, on MeCanyon got on his second channel. He's like, I'm stepping away for a little bit. I'm burned out. I'm just burned out. I'm just going to do a lot of second channel stuff. Now he's just drawing balls attached to his own face. It's so funny. Yeah, it was beautiful. I've seen that. But I was talking to him last night. He's like, bro, when can we hang out? When can I come down? Fuck yeah. That would be awesome to have him on. Yeah, whenever he wants. Yeah.

I just told Nico, I said, hey, Nico, fly to Texas next week. Yeah. I'll talk to Papa Meat tonight. Yeah. Try and get him down. Just start backlogging these episodes. Yeah, honestly, we should probably film like occasionally. Yeah. I mean, we did that. Yeah. We were so good. We did like four episodes in less than three weeks. Yeah. We had Christmas. Did you guys get anything cool?

I bought myself some stuff. Yeah. That's what I think all of us do. Yeah. Like I told my family, I was like, I don't want anything. That's it. Like I'm at a point where it's like, don't, don't worry about it. Just fucking if people, but I like Laura was like, what do I do for you for Christmas? I'm like, make me a cool meal. Like that's, don't worry about it. Honestly, we're at a point where it's like, I'm going to buy my own dumb shit. Cause I'm an idiot. We can literally buy what we want. Now we are hard to shop for it. That's what everyone says. They're like, you can have whatever you want at this point.

Eli, I want you. And that's the way you get there.

I made a delicious Christmas dinner for Mr. Matty and Noel. Oh, did you? I was like, I woke up early. It was like Christmas Day. I was like, bam, 8 a.m. Let's fucking go. I made my beef stew, which is... Oh, I saw that. You made it. You were talking about your beef stew. And I made chicken tiki masala, so I made both homemade. And I can't... I know. That's one of my favorite meals ever. Oh, my God. Do we have Jet on the podcast? Yes.

Oh shit, Jet Tila. I was just talking to him yesterday. We should have Jet on the podcast. Yeah, he's our homie. Yeah, that'd be fucking dope. He would definitely do it too. That'd be awesome. Okay. Hold on, let me put that on my list. Yeah, add that to the list. Just add that. Yeah, fucking Christmas is dope. Like we showed up and Noel's going to cook for us. She was like, okay. I was like, I got all the meals done. I was like, here we go. We got two. Sit down. No cooking. Let's enjoy food.

And then they started eating. Matt loves the beef stew. Him and Noel came over. Oh, so Matt loves your beef stew? Yeah. But the first time he had it, he was like, hey, me and Noel got a balance. We can't stay and eat. I was like, no problem. They just got tattoos, willows at the house. They were leaving. Matt's like, I'm just going to grab a bite. I'm going to taste it real quick. He's like, yeah. He took his taste. He's like, Noel, we're staying. We're eating a fucking bowl of this. What the fuck? And they sat down and they ate the whole thing. He's like, you have to make this way more than you do. I've never had this, though.

I brought six pounds of beef stew. No, seven pounds. It was a fuck ton of beef stew. That's a lot of stew. And then a huge vat of chicken tikka masala. And then they started. Matt's like, I haven't had this. We killed both dishes. Gone.

And I was like, it was just fucking good. It was just a good fucking Christmas, just being a fat piece of shit and drinking. Hell yeah. That's why I live every day like Christmas. Taco Bell whiskey, man. I don't know why I picture the Christmas story. It's like, man, you still got a Santa hat on. Yeah, I'm so burning.

And three ghosts came to batty that night. The ghost of diabetes passed. Stop eating Taco Bell. No.

Oh, we were talking about that last night. Yeah.

Yes. Holy cow. It's like 10 bucks for all you can eat. Something. I don't know. Wait, don't you get a taco a day or something? Yeah. For 30 days for 10 bucks. You can go in and get a taco. Taco bell subscription. What do you get? What do you get? Here we go. Taco a day for 10 bucks. Because it makes sense. Because most people aren't going to go get a taco a day. Doing the math, it's genius. It's called the taco lover's pass. Okay.

Because $10, you think about it. A taco day for three days. Those tacos... They're like 50 cents a piece or anything. Probably $10. Oh, you mean for them to make? Yeah, for them it's less than $10. It's like $10. Absolutely. So you got to think your average person maybe will go every other day. So it's 15 tacos. I'm just going to say, you can get your Doritos Locos taco with your taco pass.

You get the fancy tacos. Yeah. That shit doesn't cost you a thing. But they're guaranteed $10 a month for anyone that's subscribed. Yeah, and there's going to be so many college kids. Damn, they don't get to use it. They forget about it. They forget to cancel. I'm about to go get a taco pass, bro.

That's what we should have got. Wait, wait, but can you save up? Can you save up your taco? No, baddie. Get 30 in one day and then you're done. I'm here to redeem my taco. They're like, sir, who is this for me? It's disgusting, sir. I'll take them.

Now put Put them in this bag Me can't get hurt Oh Jesus I'm thinking his future ghost That's what he's showing him This is you in the future batty I'll take my 30% His present ghost His future ghost is grave I just see Jabba the Hutt With like my hat Duke Archer

Duka, Bika, Baka, Wookie. The ghost of present. The ghost of future. It's a grave and then you just see a fucking giant. Tacos are at present. God damn it. Taco. A subscription to tacos? That's the world we live in now. You can get a subscription for tacos. As a genius, I mean, business-wise, I was like, I remember reading that last night on the pooper.

And I was like, that's a genius business plan. That was my only thought process. Can you combine it with DoorDash and be an extra piece of shit? That's what I thought. So that's the thing, like,

That was my issue. The only reason I don't have a taco lover's pass right now is because I don't want to have to physically go into that store and look someone in the eyes when I order 18 tacos. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need that judgment in my life. I can no contact door dash that shit. They'll place it on my door and leave. And then I can just, give me my food. I just picture the, I'll take one taco, please. I need you just pulling out your card. Do you get a card? I don't know. Oh. Are you heavy breathing, dude? Hey.

Just get one taco and leave? Yeah. Every day, dude. Imagine the people are like, yo, he's back again. It's been 16 days. Sir, it's 12.01 a.m. Hell, that's a new taco. I'm going in at 11.30, like 11.50 at night. I'll take one. You eat it in front of, like at the counter in front of them. It's 12.01. Sir. Bring me up for one more, please.

Does anyone want to do a vlog with me where we go to Taco Bell for 30 days straight and eat one taco? Yes. I will die on this. I love this. This is New Year's. Everyone starts their fitness challenge and donuts over here is like the 30 day Taco Bell challenge. What?

I'm challenging myself this year, guys. Come on. I'm pushing my body to the limit. Come on. I'm going to start having to walk to Taco Bell so I don't die. Batty becomes a marathon runner. I've got to run to get my one taco a day. What the fuck?

Oh, man. Dude, also new games coming out. Wait, is there new games coming out? This year's fucking has some solid boys coming out. Video games? Yeah, the new God of War. We're going to talk about video games now. I know. We're moving on from cum in tacos to video games. Have you ever put cum in a taco? That's the question. That's just sex. Is it kind of the rumors from back in the day?

I swear every place is like one time I swear there was coming a taco and like a lady ate it and sued Taco Bell for it. It's like the thumb in the chili and at Wendy's. Do you remember that one? Oh, that actually happened. The person cut their fucking finger off and put it in a thing of chili because they started investigating it and they're like, wait, your boyfriend is missing a freshly cut thumb. Listen, officer, I don't see the issue here.

I give it one thumbs up. I have missed that story. I don't like that. They had one that the monster, like an energy drink company, had a fucking finger in it too. Shit, I didn't see that one. Yeah. It was like the Mexico location or some shit where you're like, hmm, makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah. I think it was the same thing. It like fucked up in the machine. It was like, and then it went in the can. Someone was like, ah. Yeah.

Just imagine us drinking on the podcast. A fucking white claw and then a fucking finger came out. I'd be like, it's been documented. That'd be great content though. That describes Rich's shit now. I'd also throw up on both of you. By the way, we're not podcasting anymore. We're suing the fuck out of you, white claw. White claw didn't want to sponsor us. I'm still butthurt about that. Lame.

I mean, business-wise, it does make sense. Yeah. Right? We had an Arab on the podcast. Yeah. That's the reason. Oh, God. We're like, we just thought you hated us because we were drinking on podcast. No, it's because you're Mexican, Eli. Thank you for being reasonable. It's called White Claw. Yeah. Not Brown Claw, bitches. You know, I'll still never get it on my head. You and a rice filled with a weed eater.

That needs to be a shirt. Oh yeah, we still have to have Matt back on to do those t-shirts that we need to make. That we need to make. On the list of... So, also, another thing to put in the comments below. What's your favorite thing that we forgot about as soon as we said we were going to do it on this podcast? Because it's a weekly event now. It's only happened 37 times now. Tinder. We did say we were going to upgrade one day, and here we are.

Look at us. Look at... And we look good. We're probably not going to do any of the other things we said, though. Just to be... We say things, then we drink too much and forget we say things. Yes. Oh, man. And then I rewatched the podcast right before I published it. I'm like, oh, fuck. I said we were going to do that. And then I forget.

And here we are. Hey. What new games are coming out? Oh, God of War. God of War. Elden Rings. It's Elden Rings. Elden Rings. That's the Dark Souls.

Yeah, but with George R. R. Martin. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. It's Dark Souls. Is that the one you were showing me with the giant, beautiful landscape? Legend of Arceus! Pokemon. What Pokemon's coming out? That comes out this month. Yeah, it's like the 21st, 22nd. Legend of Arceus? Yeah, so Pokemon is doing a feudal Japan-style Pokemon game. That's what it's called? Yeah, it's called The Legend of Arceus. It is an open world. We're talking Breath of the Wild-style Pokemon.

Oh, it's going to be Breath of the Wild. But it's in feudal Japan. Yeah. What? Yeah. It's not like new with new Pokeballs and technology and Pokedexes and gears. It's like the origin of Pokemon. How did they catch six Pokemon following you around behind you? No, they have like, you know, okay, so for everyone who doesn't know anything about Pokemon because you're a bunch of fucking idiots.

I picture balls were made originally from apricots. I believe they were called apricorns, apricots. I don't remember what it was exactly. And they didn't work. They just shoved the Pokemon in and they would scream the entire time at your waist. Oh,

There was an animated something where they did that You ruined my book months, all right, so how do they work? So apricots go

I'm busy. I'm opening liquor right now. I can't tolerate you two. I can't open it. Eli, open this. I will. Go on on your fucking how they used to beat the shit out of them with Bokin. Pokeballs are made from berries. That was the original. So these new... I'm assuming what it looks like is they're old school looking Pokeballs before like they were crazy. Like in this...

open world style game you get a capture you can find Pokemon in the overworld just walking around in the grass and shit that's fucking cool why are they starting it off in feudal Japan instead of just doing like like regular Pokemon open world that's weird you know they used to beat the shit out of Pokemon yeah absolutely

There's a lot of them. Stop it. You know there was some. They're samurai. Yeah, they were not nice to Pokemon. They took their wooden swords and they would just smack them. The Pokins are just like Pikachu trying to do a Fakata and he's just beating the shit out of him because he can't hit his form. Oh my god. I'm so sad right now. Oh my, oh I shouldn't have hit Pikachu. Oh my god.

Just a quick shout out to my... I'm taking the little one. To my buddy Gypsy Danger for sending the bottle of Woodford Reserve, who almost got a man shot on my property when I received it. So thank you for that bottle. Cheers, Cuts. Cheers. Dude, I can't wait for fucking...

beating the shit out of Pokemon. Oh, that's good. It's really good. Yeah, Woodford's smooth, man. Damn, I wasn't sure. I wasn't expecting... Damn. Okay. Woodford deck, good, good. I didn't know they were going back in the day because if you think about it, like, Pokemon's very based off of technology. It's all technology-based, yeah. This is, like, the origin to Pokemon. Yeah, like, what the fuck do you do? This is the new region. It's the... Magic? Hylian region or something like that, which even kind of sounds like Hyrule, which is weird. I was gonna say, like, Hyrule...

It looks really, really good. It's on the Switch, obviously. Weren't people bitching about this one because they were like, yo, the open world is very not open? Or it felt like cheesy? The one that's out, Shining Pearl, Brilliant Diamond? No, it's whatever the one coming out. I know, but I thought people seen screenshots and initially they were pissed because they're like... I don't think so. If there's outrage or anything about it, I haven't been following it. I've stopped listening to shitty reviews because...

Everybody's mad. Dude, oh my god, something to talk about. Have you seen the hate that Ready or Not is getting right now? No. No, why? Oh my god, Kotaku. Of course, Kotaku is the one who released it. What? Kotaku is finding shit to make people mad. Kotaku released it. Dude, straight up, that's what they're doing. They're saying, SWAT, is it the new gray FPS, or is it just...

Racism in video game format. Straight up a fantasy version of somebody to live their swap fantasies of shooting people. You can do that in any game. Bro, the article goes in like crazy. I skimmed it. I only saw the bits and pieces of it. There was some stuff like some assets in the game that apparently could be associated with some sort of like white supremacy or racist shit, but it wasn't. Pull up the author's face. I guarantee they have purple hair.

bro kota i i can't fuck kotaku honestly yeah you look at any major like those are it's kotaku it's all those it's always reviewers or anythings and then it's because it's it's fluff pieces and then i love donkey i've been what donkey is a god can we get i want donkey on the podcast jeff ramsey on the podcast who's that uh jeff ramsey from achievement hunter like he's a military guy like

he's like my he's the reason i kind of got into content creation way back in the day for youtube like achievement hunter yeah when i failed when i failed miserably as a youtuber i'll make you a youtuber yet baddie slow down let's just calm down here but fucking yeah like donkey donkey i love donkey because if you watch his stuff he destroys everything

video game reviewers. That's one of my favorite things he does. And he shows how big a piece of shit a lot of them are on how they review stuff. They're like, they say the same verbiage, or it's like, this game is boring, blah, blah, blah, blah. 96 out of 100. And he's like, get fucked, this game is trash, because X, Y, and Z. But a cataclysm

Yeah, they've always been known for just being piles of shit. It's just been like the last five years with Kotaku. Every article is like a bigger and bigger pile of shit. What was that one? Can we name this episode of the podcast Kotaku Sucks? I'm down. I want to take that article. Featuring Donut Operator. Yeah, there we go. Kotaku Sucks featuring Donut Operator. Okay.

Why didn't you guys get sued? No, I want to take that article and break it down for like a main channel video. Here's why you're fucking stupid. Honestly, no, I think Clean talked about it a little bit already, but it's Kotaku is they just go in on trying to destroy Ready or Not. And I can't remember the devs names right now, but it's like they're calling like the devs racist and shit. They're pieces of Kotaku is the same stupid fucks.

There was a, one of their people did an article about how more AAA games need to represent the blind community for video games and developing video games specifically for the blind. Shit you not. And then they go in, it's like how it's a race. It's what's the opposite. It's like racist or it's against. Ableism or something. Yeah. It's like, you're not doing this. You're just blah, blah, blah. Cause we don't. And you're like,

Okay, like, I have blind friends. I've had, like, seeing impaired friends. And they... You know what they usually don't do is bitch about video games not being able to be made for them because they're like, you know what? They...

What? Why am I going to get pissed about this? They fucking make problems that no one really has or that no one's saying. And Kotaku literally made an article about it. And the girl, it was a female, and she's legally blind just based off of eye subscription. Not even like full, like, hey, I wasn't born with eyes. I didn't fucking do this. It was just that. And you're like, you fucking...

Ooh, you are pissing. You are mad because the world doesn't revolve around you and it's fucking shitty. And then you have people, one of my favorite blind people. Oh, what was his name? Your favorite blind people? Well, did you ever see the black kid from... My favorite blind people. Dude, he was the black kid. He was a teenager. He learned how to click to see stuff.

Oh shit. Yes. Like echolocation shit. Yeah. He could play video games. He could do any of that shit just based off of clicking and just sounds literally went blind. He got a eye cancer, lost his eyes at four or five started using echo. He just clicks. He can tell you where objects are, how big they are, where they are. He ride his bicycle, everything just clicking. He's a bat, bro.

Literally. And they were like, he was the only one that taught himself to do it too. And they're like, scientists were like, yo, what the fuck? This dude, I got some evolution shit. What is his name? Cause it was crazy. That's his mutant power. Play basketball, bro.

yeah so the whole time playing basketball i remember seeing this on tv forever ago did you do a constant like yeah constant he just like does that and dude you i'll i'll show you after this when you watch him like interacting running downstairs going out riding his bicycle around like moving in and out of traffic you're like what the ever living fuck and then they're like okay get this object he'd be like

He's like, oh, it's right here. It's this high. Oh, it's, is it this? And he'd name what it is. I don't even seen yet. It's like Daredevil. Yeah, he's got Daredevil vision. Oh my God. Spider-Man. Did you see Spider-Man? No, don't even, don't even start. You guys haven't seen Spider-Man yet? No, the new, the big one. You know, that was like what Sony's highest grossing picture of all time. It was so fucking good. How have you not seen Spider-Man? Don't start with Spider-Man after we leave today. Go see it.

Did we talk about webs coming out of someone's dick in a previous podcast? Probably, yeah. Spider-Man booty hole. It was buttholes. Oh, okay. Butthole dick. Okay. Ben Underwood. That's the kid. You guys need to go see Spider-Man No Way Home. No Way Home? No Way Home. No. Homecoming? No. Homecoming's the last one. Wait. I don't know. There's so many, dude. You need to go see Spider-Man. It is so... I haven't seen it. I heard it's fucking... Bro, there isn't a moment in that movie that I was like, meh. I heard it's just fucking dope. It's all great. And as somebody who grew up over the last...

You're in the city. You're old. You guys are old like me. You saw, you grew up with the other Spider-Mans. Like there's the callbacks and everything. It's go see it. Okay. Right. It's the one with Doctor Strange in it.

Yes. Okay. Yes. Yep. I saw the preview. Thankfully, I haven't had anything spoiled yet, and I'm like, go see the movie. I've heard nothing but... However, you know, it came out like two weeks ago. I know. I don't know. Weird. We were fucking... Oh, you guys are like, ****. Yeah. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go to the movie? Gingivitis! You can't go into a movie theater without mouthwash, Batty. I did. It took me two weeks to find that mouthwash to get this gingivitis. Now I can go. So I got...

Well, the movie was very, very good. I heard nothing. My Uber driver the other day, like literally said, he was like, you need to go watch the fucking movie. He was like, you should listen to your Uber driver. Yeah. He was like, it's fucking good. I was like, okay, done. I heard it's the best, one of the best Marvel movies to date. It's like that Ragnarok up there. It's like with Ragnarok. We're talking top five without a doubt. Easy. Like we're talking like OG Iron Man, Ragnarok. It's good. Yeah.

Fine. Fine. Oh, Dexter. Watch the new Dexter. Yeah, I got to watch that. I've heard you guys were saying the new Dexter is really good, too.

Yeah, I've just been watching it. We caught up on Queen's Gambit, watched all Witcher. We haven't even discussed Witcher. Oh my god! Did you guys watch Witcher? Oh yeah, the new season. The Witcher was so good. Is the whole season out now? Yeah. Witcher drops all at once. Netflix doesn't make you wait week to week. Disney Plus, you fucks. Yeah, Disney fucks. Which reminds me, Henry Cavill still needs to be on the show.

Yeah, Henry Cavill. I know you're a huge follower. You watch this probably every week. Definitely. Definitely still welcome right here. You're going to sit on my side? Not bad. Well, okay. We're calling it now. You guys hear it on episode 36. Henry's sitting on my... Me and Henry, that's what I call him. Yeah. My boy Hen. Yeah, my boy Hen. Big H. Yeah.

I'm just tweeting at Henry Cavill right now. It's okay. I'm like, hey. I DM'd him on Instagram. I was like, hey, man. Nice dick. Who doesn't say that to their old old age? Big H. Big H. Our boy Big H. Yeah.

I just want, like, if I can use this podcast for one thing, it is to blow up his Twitter and his Instagram with, be on unsubscribe until we have Big H, who's probably worth $100 million, coming into this room. He's probably worth more than that. Coming into this room. Sitting right here.

Never mind Call in

Huh? Can we get him to do a cameo? I don't think Henry Cavill's on cameo. Imagine if he was on cameo where you just do like 18 cameos and let's ask him questions. This costed $3,286. Completely worth it. Oh, good. Just awkwardly cut stuff. Does he have a Henry Cavill? He's definitely not on cameo. I haven't seen him on Twitter. Oh. Henry Cavill News? He has like 30 million followers on Instagram. Huh.

yeah he might get one or two dms yeah maybe a couple probably a dm or so him donkey a close second jeff ramsey jeff ramsey he's in austin too so we could that as i was actually like probably we could probably get a couple of achievement hunter guys oh yeah they're all i'm fucking i need to hit freddy that freddy's supposed to come out and do one yeah where the fuck is freddy la doing freddy stuff fucking freddy

If he comes out, I'll run a D&D game again. Henry Cavill, we can't have any of our girlfriends around when he comes out. No. They'll come instantly. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to come instantly. I am too. But we can't have our girlfriends around. Can we ask him to wear the wig? The white wig? Oh my god, that would be hilarious. Can you dress him like a witch or...

We're all just quiet the whole time. Go on and subscribe. Thanks for being here. Hey, can you do the Witcher sign? Can you say fuck in that deep growly voice? Fuck. I just can't. Can you do it one more time? I love you, Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill, can I touch your jawline?

He's just sitting here drinking White Claw with us. We get him shit wrecked on the podcast. We're like, man, that was a weird episode and we're best friends with Henry now. Can we be extras on The Witcher Season 3? We can just die. Yeah, can you kill me, buddy? Big H, kill us. Yeah, just Big H. Yo, H-Dog.

Can we see your abs real quick? Fuck, bro. God damn it. I came again. He doesn't have a Twitter? No, I don't see one. I can see him not having a Twitter. That makes sense. Man, yeah. I have a Twitter. I don't use it. But he has an Instagram, so we just all have to blow him up on Instagram. Yeah, don't. Guys, message Henry Cavill on Instagram. Say it in his comment sections and then upvote them.

I don't know what Henry Cavill would just be. God damn it. Oh, dude. I bet his manager would hate us. Henry, you can't be on this show.

You cannot be on this show. They talk about cum and video games. He's like, I like video games. I don't know why he sounds like that. What is that accent? Is Henry Cavill British? He is British. Is he? I didn't know that. Yeah, see? Yeah, but your accent sucks. This is what I was talking about. You sound like soap. He goes, no, he sounds like Snake.

He does have a very... Geralt has a very big... Geralt? We're going with Geralt now? Yeah, Geralt. That's his name. Big H or G, depending on how close you are with him. Oh, Witch Daddy is bad. Are we developing a relationship with Henry Cavill? We're developing a relationship with Henry Cavill without him knowing it right now. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. Hey, can you turn... Can we do the Witcher process on our podcast? Yeah.

We'll just go through the transformation. I could talk to him about The Witcher for like eight hours. Same. I could talk to him about World of Warcraft for a long time, too. Dude, yeah, he's a super nerd on that. Bro, he would...

We'd be best friends. He'd move to Bernie. He would move to Bernie, like we all do. You don't know Batty. All the rest of us are here. Sure, he's worth a couple more dollars than all of us. Big G. You make Matt look poor. Both Matts combined. All of us combined are poor. He's like cute. You get stopped in a gun store once every once in a while. He's that next level famous...

He'd walk in and be like, smells like boar. The next episode, we're just, we hate Henry Cavill. He slept with all our girlfriends. God damn it. Henry Cavill, fuck you. He didn't even try. We were so cool. They just, they knew he was here and they were already naked. Big H. I bet you were my friend, Big H. Big A. Big G, would you come? Yeah, Big G. Darryl.

We were homies. Hey, this is the goal. We weren't just big H. Is that the end goal for unsubscribe? Get Henry Cavill on the podcast? Never do another one. After that, we peaked. If that happens, episode 42, we're sorry. Episode 42, it's like Henry Cavill's here. We're like, weird.

We're stopping after this. That sucks, but it's been a good run. We can probably live off that one episode's ad revenue, though, for like a while. It's going to get a couple mil. We need to start featuring Henry Cavill. We'll just get a cardboard cutout. Please do that. I'll put it right there. We've talked about him in like 10 fucking episodes now.

Oh, man. Let's, yes. Oh, one episode featuring ages since then. He should be like, oh, Henry. No, it would be good to have our Henry back there as a guest every episode. And then maybe one day. The real one? Every episode, we're just like, and we have Henry Cavill here. And then the real one one day, that would be fucking dope.

It's still standing exactly like that, and then he just moves and sits down. We can get a maximum height of 6'3". How are you guys feeling with 6'3"? He's probably 6'3", isn't he? I mean, that's the best $70 I think I've ever spent. Okay. Our next guest on the podcast is going to be Tim Kennedy and Henry Cavill. This is our running gag from now is Henry Cavill.

Tim, like, what is that? It's like our guest, our other guest, Henry Cavill. It's our backup guest if, you know, people want to show up. Like, when Eli can't be here, we just... It's not upright. It's still, like, backwards. So the light's reflecting off it weird.

It slowly slides down halfway through the episode. Pouring booze on it. Tossing white claw in it. We change his outfits periodically for Christmas, for Halloween, for Valentine's Day. We get a Geralt version, a Superman version. Mustache version. He's going to be on one day. Probably not. Is it going to happen? What's your thought, Donut? Hold on. Oh, man. Oh, no.

He had a look at his eye there. It was a twinkle. He calls him. It's like, you know Henry! It's like, wait, I forgot I have his number. No, you know who would be on the podcast, though? Dean Cain, an actor that's Superman. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I talked to him on Twitter and Instagram. He would be on here. Is he from Texas? I don't know. We could get all the Supermans.

Probably not all of them, because one of them is dead. Yeah, one of them did die. We can still do that podcast on his grave. That's true, too. People already hate us. You should stop. That's true. I feel like... That would be a weird podcast. I feel like joking about Christopher Reeves is like a line, right? Isn't that like a line? You can't do that? Alright, fuck it. We're good. Don't fall off a horse. So whoever... Can we just make a pact? Oh, Jesus Christ.

Whichever one of us dies first, can we do a podcast on their grave? Done. Absolutely. 100%. It's going to be mine. Two years from now. Well, I mean, if the spicy depression doesn't get me, it'll be the diabetes. I'm going to bring one taco to your grave. Okay, so why call on one taco? The best podcast ever. We just make his gravestone taco bell. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, yum. There's a button you can push on Batty's grave that does that. Laurie's like, I hate you guys were in charge of his funeral service and had anything to do with building his gravestone. He would have wanted this. Sponsored by Taco Bell. Yum.

But yeah, we could get that Superman. We could get Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill. It's never going to be on the podcast. It's never going to happen. It's going to happen. We got to keep growing. If we get, how many subs do you think he would need to see? I think at least a million. At least a million. At least? We're talking like 10 mil. We're talking. That's a lot. He's an ingrd.

Yeah. What if he already follows one of us? He doesn't. Look, look, don't talk about H-Dog like that, okay? I love H-Dog as much as you guys do, I promise you. It doesn't sound, it sounds like you don't love H-Dog as much as us. It sounds like you hate non-H-Dog. How dare you? I think of Mill.

Maybe 50,000. We're almost at 50K subs. I know. That's kind of cool. It'd be way weirder if he showed up at 50K subs. He's like, as a 50K subs.

He brings us our $100,000. Okay, so he's never going to come to my poor-ass house, but I bet we can get him to call in on a phone call. No, we have to have him come here. There's zero chance. That might be the first time we don't do it here at your house. We're going to go to Donuts for that one. Yeah, we need not a fucking creepy driveway. What's wrong with my driveway? A man worth $100 million just driving up that driveway to this house. Do you think...

How would you feel if you've never met these people that do a video game podcast about cum? I mean, his bodyguard would come first. Yeah. Oh, no. We got to do the podcast at, like, the abandoned mansion or something. It's like, Matt, we need to borrow your house. Yeah, we got to borrow your mansion real quick, buddy. Mountaintop. H-Dog's coming into town. Yeah. Do you have a balcony we can hang out on? He's like, can you guys please stop calling me H-Dog? What?

We make him uncomfortable. This podcast is just three grown-ass men fanboying about Henry Cavill. How old is Henry Cavill? He's probably younger than... I think he's probably your age. No, 34. 34. He's my age. Wait, how old am I? How old is Henry? Or 38, Cavill. What's your guess, Eli? 38. He's 38? I said he's your age.

I'm not 38, Jonah. Eli, you wouldn't be the oldest one in the room for once? It feels so good. H-Dog looks younger than all of us, though. Yep. Yeah. That's what Taco Bell does. It just destroys your... We could do our laundry on his stomach. So many good stuff.

He just lays across the table. We're doing Batty's laundry. You wasted this podcast opportunity. No, don't talk. Just shut the fuck up, Henry. You don't say his name like that. Don't ever say his name in aggression. What the fuck, H-Dog? Be quiet. Okay, Batty, close us out. That was a solid hour and 36 minutes of...

The last 30 minutes dedicated to fucking Henry Cavill. Thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast or listening to it. I don't want it wherever you're hanging out today. We have Eli Double Tap, Donut Operator. And of course, I am Batty. Streams. Love you. See you next time. Have a fantastic day.

I would let Henry Cavill do disgusting things to me. What? Keep that.