202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
02:08:59 Share

You ever seen between two ferns? No. No? Well, this is between four idiots. You don't actually drown. It's a shallow water blackout. You don't actually drown. It just feels like it. We're still governed by all these laws and acquisitions. The Geneva Convention. Sorry, Major, you better sound the f*** off. You just told a command sergeant major to sound off. I know. That's pretty cool.

Say hi to Eli He's racially ambiguous and random His hair is fucking fabulous and donut A dark joke disposition And there's a fat electrician Welcome to unsubscribe

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Doubletap, bad electrician Brandon Herrera, myself, donut operator, and the backdrop is a little different. Why, Eli? I don't know. It looks familiar, like a shape of some kind. Oh, yeah. We're at the Pentagon. Like, we're actually, we're not fucking around. We are in the Pentagon. The basement of the Pentagon. Finn, turn around, show. No.

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile and wonder, how did I get here? So are we. And Nick, what were you saying earlier? Like, we were... Or Brandon, we were like kind of semi-comedians who were just doing shows and then suddenly... Yeah, we were like a couple episodes ago. It's like, oh, or it feels like a couple episodes ago. We're just doing random like local stand-up comedian friends of ours and now we're in the Pentagon. Not only are we in the Pentagon, we have...

were one of the only people to get authorization to drink in the Pentagon? There was a whole process, apparently. There was a lot of paperwork to get this case of White Claw here. These might be the first White Claws ever drank in the Pentagon. I think that's what they told us. We might be making history. With that being said, what the fuck are we doing, guys? So it's just a normal box.

I know, that's what I said. When they say case, is it 24 or 12? Yeah, do we have grape in there? We don't have grape. Black cherry. Black cherry. Black cherry. You're getting bougie with the flavors already. Dude, if we got two apiece. No preference. Three. Three apiece. Three apiece? Oh, yeah. Oh, they're cold too. The army's awesome. You know what that means, guys? All right, first white claw in the Pentagon. Here we go. Three, two, one.

Oh man. It tastes so much better knowing how much paperwork went into getting- First one to finish a white claw in the bag off- BANG IT! Suck it! You son of a bitch! It's always a competition with you, Nick! Gotta be first. It competes in ways that we didn't even know. Now I'm going for second. It's so cold, and it's all for two in the morning. Nick runs out of booze immediately. I mean, you gotta get it started the right way. Fair enough.

I'll be the second person to finish the White Claw of the Pentagon. And he didn't even cry. It was so cold. Hi, welcome everyone. Welcome to the Pentagon. All the boys we got in last night. Today we're going to be, I don't know, we're having fun today. We get to interview a couple of privates and specialists. Also, fun game, real quick. Every time, take a shot at home every time you hear the word Pentagon. Starting now, you're already dead if you've tried it before. Pentagon, Pentagon, Pentagon.

Cody tries to kill the audience. With Brandon this morning, it's like, well, I thought we were training for a fight. Yeah, I thought we were going to the octagon. What have I been training for? I can't wait for the YouTube title to hit the algorithm. Unsub drunk from the Pentagon. What? Oh, they're not kidding. It's not clickbait. Oh, shit.

Hey guys, welcome. Welcome. Oh, who do we have first? I wanted to start. We're going to hang out for a little bit. Bring out our first guest to Who Wants to Get Demoted. Hello. I heard there was a distinguished group, a band of brothers here. What's up? How you doing? Walking past and I was like, well, let me just drop in real quick. How you guys doing? Doing good. Doing good.

You hopping in? No, I don't need it. This is your hot seat, bro. I feel like I'm in a bullpen here. You should be. You ever seen Between Two Ferns? No. No? Well, this is Between Four Idiots. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. It's a pleasure to have you on. Appreciate you making time. Yeah, no, thank you, guys. So, you have what? You're...

How long have you been in the military? 32. 32 years. That's what, three decades. How long have you had the nickname Smoke? Birth. Okay. Can I tell it real quick? Yeah, absolutely. So Smokey Robinson, singer, right? Yeah. That's my grandfather's favorite entertainer. So at birth, he's like, hey, you're my Smokey.

Now, my mother was like, okay, he can be your Smokey. That name is not going on the birth certificate, though. So Christopher is my government name. But from birth, my family has known me as Smokey. And obviously, you know, playing sports, joined the Army. I want people to be comfortable with me. So it's like, hey, man. Dad giving you badass nicknames right out of the gate. Yeah. Big fan of your work with the bandit. Yeah. Yeah.

You joined in the 90s. Yeah, yeah. 92. God damn. I know Brandon wasn't born yet. No, I wasn't. Neither was I. 95. Wow. That was five. And I love telling troops nowadays. Let me tell you about the 1900s.

In their mind, they're like, oh my gosh, okay, we're getting ready to get something from this guy. 92, great year to join. Yeah, that is. And then you got to see the complete change and then

Going from like civilian time army or peacetime military to wartime military and back to peacetime military, which how was that? Just wild. First assignment was Vicenza, Italy. And there were a lot of Vietnam veterans that were kind of still, you know, going there on the back leg of their their career. So, you know, being able to kind of get mentored and developed by them, you

And what they experienced and then what they went through in the Cold War era, because most of them had spent most of their career there in Europe, you know, after coming out of Vietnam. So it was very interesting. And then, you know, coming back stateside and then, like you said, now we start going into some other things there in Southwest Asia. So, yeah, it's been interesting over the last 30 years what I've seen. Yeah.

That's crazy. We have, I mean, everyone came from different walks of life in the military at the table. Yeah.

I joined like, well, Brandon. But if you Google him. I was like, it's not even worth it anymore. I didn't say it. I was just like, you're just so blasé about it now. We started a running joke that he's a decorated war veteran. And now if you ask ChatGPT about Brandon Herrera, it thinks that he's the most decorated war hero in U.S. history. It all started with him.

Straight up. It all started from a Veterans Day episode when Eli tried to pin his purple heart on me, and I'm like, get that stolen valor away from me. And so now it's been the running joke is now it's forced valor. Yeah, yeah. How many awards do you have now? You got like two Elvon or... So at our live shows, the fans were all in on it. And like the great majority of our fan base, I think either has, you know, has been in the military or has some connection to the military.

And so they just started bringing their medals and giving it to me at live shows. So now I've got an entire stack. - Classic. - Classic. - I wish I would have known that. Do you have a set of foreign jump wings? Like do you have a run and tally of foreign jump wings? - I don't think so. - Wow. - He has some jump wings, but I don't think he has any foreign jump wings yet. - It's gotten so bad that people, I live in a different state and I fly to this podcast and people mail me medals to give to Brandon.

And I forgot to bring it, but I actually have a Syrian women's driving badge for you. Which, is that basically a cab for them? Big Storm Ranger's like, I'm just cut away from me smiling in that one. No comment on that. They are getting so nervous. What's this about? Why are you guys getting nervous? Do you want to watch?

What are you guys doing later tonight? There we go. Yeah, okay. What's your next step? Did you think you were going to stay in as long as you did? Absolutely not. I definitely had a plan when I joined to come in because things were not going the way I needed them to go in college.

The baseball career that I thought I was going to have was not happening. So I had a plan to come in for four years. I knew the Olympics was coming around in 1996, so my plan was to get to Atlanta as my last assignment, try to get to some tryouts and get back into baseball. So, no, never would I have thought that I'd be sitting here, honestly, with you guys right here, at least in uniform. Same, honestly. We never thought we'd be sitting here with you. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, this is a wild experience for us.

All of us, because it was like starting out as dumb jokes and it's like, hey, let's tell some military stories or have fun. And then all these crazy sons of bitches out there. I'm glad we're all failing upward. This is great. I wanted to ask about your middle son. It says he's a professional MMA fighter. Yeah, yeah. Shot out.

Tyler, Sugar Free, Stevens. Based out of Birmingham, Spartan Fitness. Nice. I see that the family Cool Ass Nicknames has kind of been passed on. You saw that, right? Sugar Free is an awesome nickname. Could you imagine having to fight somebody whose nickname was Sugar? That'd be hilarious.

That's what? Yeah. Yo, Sucralose, get over here. Good old Stevia Johnson. Stevia Johnson coming to the ring. So you want to, your son wants to fight in the octagon. You work at the Pentagon. Any other significant shapes in the family or what? Man, you caught me off guard with that because my youngest son plays college basketball. So, I mean, that's a rectangle. But you used to play in a diamond though. Ah. Very good. My God.

Might need to bring you into the Army G1. General George is already trying to force me and Eli back into the Army, so don't make any more threats. I know.

General George, first thing when we come down, he's like, hey, got you guys booked for a barber appointment to get you back in the military. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They force it. What can we do for Brandon to get him like an official military position? I think I might have to actually take that haircut. There's an honorary. Is there an honorary?

No, we looked into it. And AR, I think it's, no, that's dress uniform. It's AR something, but there's actually a way for a civilian to get a military award. I really don't want that. I really do. I didn't do anything to earn any of this stuff. You've helped so many vets. Yeah, but I do that by drinking and joking around. That hardly feels like the same thing. You bring joy to veterans. That's important. We need that. And you know what? I don't need a medal for it. Yeah, thank you. It's a privilege to do it.

Brandon's trying to get out of this mess. I'm storming. I'll just, you know, pivot this way and then we'll be gone. It was last Veterans Day. This whole joke fucking started and I didn't think it would culminate to the pedigree, Eli. I didn't either. So you do know, though, we do have an honorary SMA that every year that is awarded to a civilian. You guys are way too fucking excited. That might be something we can talk to SMA Weimer about.

Oh my god, what? What? Friend in a row? Oh, the army. I'm gonna text him right now. I didn't know that was a possibility. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go home. I thought you were the one that was gonna be uncomfortable at this table. No, no, no, no. Yeah, not at all. My hell, the turntables. Fuck.

Brandon's going to be the director of the ATF and the sergeant major of the army. Well, I don't think that'll work, though. You might have to resign from the ATF. Conflict of interest. He doesn't have it yet. It's on the table. Alarmingly. Alarmingly on the table. That also started out as a joke.

Again, not even a joke I made. Have you seen any of what we do other than Chaos? I have not. I'm not going to lie. When Master and Carter brought up that, hey, SMA would like for you to take a look at this and do a drive-by and just walk in, it piqued my interest.

Because, again, it's about helping veterans. It's about ensuring that, you know, people understand the importance of all of your service. Because, again, you're providing the service, you know, even now. Although you didn't wear the uniform just yet. Yet. I still have that haircut appointment. Yeah, we got you. But, no, it's an honor for me to have an opportunity to be here with the four of you. We appreciate that. Saturday we're interviewing...

Grandpa Jake, and it's a World War II. He was at the Beaching of Normandy. Okay. And he was at Battle of Bulge, and he's coming on the podcast Saturday. On Saturday. I'm so stoked for that one. Where will you guys be at for that? Were you actually in San Antonio? Oh, in San Antonio. Yeah. So we filmed in Ham, but we're super excited for that. We normally don't get to film in cool places like this. No. Yeah. It's normally just a...

A house. A house. Yeah. A living room. Yeah. With booze everywhere. Which, yeah. It's like a frat house, essentially. Hey, Brandon, you ever wake up in your bed feeling like you just fought in a war?

Yeah, what do you ask? Yeah, I believe that's called night sweats. Why are we talking like Macho Man Randy Savage? So you're not sweating through your sheets like some street bum.

You stay cool, comfortable. Most importantly, you sleep through your night. I got you for three minutes, but I got ghost bed all night. You know what's longer than three minutes, Brandon? Any sexual experience I've ever had? Ghost bed's 20 to 25 year warranty. And you've got a 101 night free trial to test it out. Oh, yeah. And you know what?

Brother they don't just sell mattresses. They have pieces pillows sheets the whole empanada Just pick your mattress and grab a bundle right now goose beds giving you 50% off everything Just use unsubscribe at checkout and save 50% Head over to ghostbath

That's ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. Use code unsubscribe. I'll show up under your bed and make ghost noises until you do. Go now. I just want to reiterate, none of this was in the script. I don't know why we started talking like random sounds. Well, Sergeant Major Stevens, thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Swap it up. First off, man, it's a little tough for me to follow this guy. Man, Smoke is a legend around here. But you didn't know. But let me tell you, hold on. Hold on to your seat because what you're getting ready to get right now with Vern Daly is going to be very interesting. So

Hey, gentlemen, again, I really appreciate you guys giving us your time. Thank you. Yes, sir. Thank you. Love that shirt. Thank you. It's my tuxedo tank top, Eli. I dressed up for this occasion. Okay.

How's it going, sir? I'm fantastic. Very good. Good to meet you. Good to meet you, come on. Good to meet you, brother. Sorry to meet you. Good to meet you, man. Hey, John Wayne Troxell says you better have your eye probed. Uh-oh. That sounds like Troxell. That sounds like Troxell. Matter of fact, he told me I was supposed to tell you if you didn't have it, you got to get a nasal pharyngeal. I can get those. I can get those. Let's go. Well, our unit used to do those, and if you did one, you got to go home early.

I fucking hated those. Those are the worst feelings in my life. You can do cocaine so much faster, though. Oh, my God. I hate that thought entirely. How long have you known Tronxel for? Oh.

Let's see, about 10 years or so. No, he was a SEAC. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. Would you like a white cloth? So first off, besides the fact that freaking... I fully intended to come in here and give you guys a hard time for the white cloth. Let's go. I'm just going to be straight. You know what I'm saying? I don't think so. Okay, fine. I agree.

That's who he loves, bourbon. 100%. Well, Miller Lite or bourbon. I stopped drinking frou-frou beer and all the rest of that stuff when I got a bourbon habit. You know what I'm saying? That's what it comes down to. I stopped drinking. Just bourbon. Just bourbon. That's it. It's like Landman. Nick Ultras. The thing you got to understand is bourbon is like...

collecting stamps for Sarmators. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like, if you're a Sarmator and you don't collect bourbon, are you really a Sarmator type deal? You know what I'm saying? Waste money on a collection that you won't drink the whole thing. You know what I'm saying? But why not? Something to do. You got to have something that you want to do out there. You got a dip in? I do. God, I love the enlisted so goddamn much. Come on, man. That's not,

Like, you guys told me you were coming in here. I'm not sitting in with the general officers to arrest that, you know. Take it out when I got to address certain parties. But I figured you guys were cool. I didn't see this in, you know what I'm saying? Like, hey, a little nicotine light. Nothing like that. You want some? Okay, brother.

I don't need a double dip. How long have you been in the Army for? Total? 35. Start out in the Guard in 1989.

I spent about five years in the guard before I came on active duty. I've been active duty just over 30 years now. That bio is incredible. Actually, now that I look at it, hobbies are cycling, woodwork, fishing and bourbon and not necessarily in that order. That's right. A hundred percent. Absolutely. So obviously cycling is a super weird one. So I rode motorcycles for years. You know what I'm saying? That was my big thing. And then,

I went to Alaska, which is kind of a long, complicated story. Basically, like, 05, I was at Fort Benning. I was an IOBC instructor. And... Oh, sorry. No, you're good. I'm not a super podcast dude. You know what I'm saying? But anyway...

Oh, three or I'm sorry. Oh, three or four. I'm at Fort Benning teaching these little snot nose lieutenants to be infantrymen. You know what I'm saying? Hate my life because everybody's over in Iraq or wherever else. And I'm trying desperately to get out of there. And Hunter first, 82nd were like one hundred and seven percent on our first class at the time. X, Y and Z. And so I couldn't get out.

And they were starting this new brigade up in Alaska, 425. The Snow Darts. Right? And freaking. That sounds like a slur, you guys. A Snow Dart. Tell me it doesn't. And I've got a great, great story on that one because you're never going to get a better jump than jumping in a four foot of snow. Anyway, bottom line, the only way I could get out of Fort Benning was to go to Alaska.

And I wasn't sure about it. I was like, I don't know about this stuff. And my wife was like, let's go. And I was like, okay, everything that my wife's cause I've been married 33 years now, fricking everything. My wife has told me let's do that has been exactly the right fricking thing to do, man. I cannot tell you. So went to Alaska in 05 and spent six years up there. How cold is it? Like for anyone that you were jumping in,

Negative 30 was the coldest that I've jumped in. You know what I'm saying? But folks have jumped up there as low as negative 45 up on the slope and some of the other areas. And then you're up every 1,000 feet at 10 degrees or 70 degrees difference. You know the deal. I mean, it's wind velocity and the rest of that. But you're so hyped. You don't really feel it until you get to the ground. And then you're like, oh, I can't move my hands. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

You figure it out. It's cool. But the truth is, so remember, in Alaska, two separate places, right? You've got Anchorage, okay, where the Airborne Brigade is at, 211 currently, right? And then up north is 111, Arctic Wolves, right, which is a light BCT, right? That's our true Arctic, guys. So it gets negative 45. It was negative 52. It was probably the coldest that I experienced up there.

Those guys just got done, matter of fact, with a couple of weeks of hardcore out in the field. And our mark of, hey, we got the right conditions was they had to stop training. So when it gets to negative 35, the reality of what you're doing is you're going to go to ground and try to survive. So is that negative 35? Is that the straight temperature? Is that temperature and wind chill? No, that's straight temperature. No, man. So wind chill is like negative 60. Yeah.

Yeah. My fear was getting stationed in Alaska when I was like, it was like, oh, they're going to send you wherever the Army is going to send you. I was like, oh, please not Alaska. Like, I don't, my Mexican ass would have died. No shit, right? Did you already like the cold before that?

No. Oh, so that was a clean lead. No, no, no, no. No, that's what I was trying to say. So I grew up in the South. So actually, I've been a member of or dependent on the Army since the day I was born. My dad's a retired W-3 helicopter pilot, Vietnam vet, frickin'. I graduated high school at Fort Campbell High School, went to Auburn University where I failed out miserably pretty quickly. And...

But I've always been in the South, you know, rode motorcycles, drank beer, fish, you know, that kind of stuff. And so the idea of going to Alaska was whatever. But I did not want to go to Fort Hood or to Fort Riley at the time. A lot of ego involved there. You know what I'm saying? The reality of being an airborne infantryman is kind of you get real stuck on you want to do your thing. And the only place I could go jump out of airplanes at the time was to go to Alaska.

But we got up there. I'm an Alaska resident now. I freaking love that place, man. I mean, literally love Alaska. 11th Airborne Division is like the most underrated airborne division by far. World War II, you guys were the only division to go into the Pacific. Now you're just sucking. No, I'm serious. 11th Airborne Division in World War II had the most textbook perfect airborne operation ever when they raided Las Banas. Yes.

Prison camp. 100%. It was awesome. Bottom line, they were basically, what, MacArthur's secret weapon. In the end, they did not want to publicize a whole lot about what the division was doing. Some of the crazy airborne stuff they did there, whether it was inserting replacements through frickin' L-4 Stensons, like dudes were jumping in. They're like, hey, you show up as a replacement, as a

you know, new Lieutenant or something like that to wherever. And they're like, Hey, you got to get out to the guys. So get in this airplane. You're going to jump out and, and join them. You know what I'm saying? And then whether it was a combination amphibious, that's the big thing about the Pacific period, right? Like in the end, I love Marines to death, right? Because they are some pretty bad-ass dudes, but it,

what everybody doesn't know is they've also got the best PAO in the services, right? They will pump themselves up, right? That's the way it is. It's always been that way in the Pacific too, right? The reality is the majority of the amphibious landings were done by the United States Army, okay? The biggest ones, right? Like most of that fighting. I mean, I'm not trying to take away from them, but the reality is everybody forgets. Whenever you talk about the Pacific, you're really talking about the Army, okay?

Okay. And then particularly for the Airborne Force, talking about 11th Airborne. 11th Airborne was designated as... Weren't they the designated guard for the president when...

He came over on USS Missouri and they signed 100% surrender and they chose the 11th airborne to be the security on hand. They did. Yeah. We were actually, 11th airborne was actually in Japan before, or one of the first elements to get in Japan. I know Nick would know all this. You're tickling his tism right now. And it's a big deal. Like, so it was a big deal to get reason designated to, right? So,

Again, I told you in 05, I went up to Alaska and joined this new brigade. It's called 425. Okay. And from 05 until 22, that brigade was the 4th Brigade of the 25th. But we had zero...

to the 25th Infantry Division. Like, it was just a designation. And then the one up north was 125, okay? And they had strikers. Like, why you would have strikers in Alaska? Like, they won't go anywhere in the snow. Yeah. I mean, I actually was... Like, 120,000. It was like 60 to 120,000 pounds. Like, they are... They have eight wheels, but in mud. Well, I mean, all that stuff was congressional stuff from when they...

Anyway, you know what I'm saying? I got to be careful with what I say. But the bottom line is, you know, we had some issues up in Alaska, right? And luckily, senior leadership recognized that, hey, the majority, a lot of what we have problems with in the Army have less to do with

and programs and more to do with identity and purpose and grit and resilience and remembering that soldiers are here to be soldiers, right? Like we're here to train. Like most of the problems, you know this, right? Like you probably didn't mind doing company live fires or FTXs or whatever else. What you hated was being in a freaking cough, freaking running a freaking broom or not doing anything. Yeah. Right. Oh, yeah. And so, you know,

and then identity matters, right? Like, I mean, we're very tribal in the army. That's, that's the reality. You got the 82nd playing gang, right? You got your fricking tankers are, you know, hood and, and bliss, you know, and, and, uh,

And so that 11th Airborne designation makes a difference. You know what I'm saying? You put that patch on and you've got a connection to a history that's unique, a history and a legacy you've got to live up to. I like that, though. The identity matters. The Biden admin, I think, was actually really good about that as far as, you know, gender identity mattered.

Why do you go there, man? Why do you go there? Hey, look. Soft pitches, man. No, no. I mean, I'm not here to... The reality of it comes down to we want to be a standards-based army. We should be a standards-based army. We are. That's the way our leaders are. It's a standards-based army. If you can perform, then I want you around. If you can put...

The big one that nobody really talks about is availability, right? I'll tell you that one, right? Like, you ever watch...

or football, right? Like one of the values of a player is how much are they available? How much do they get hurt? How much are they there to play? Like you can pay this guy, can be the most talented person in the world and wherever, but if they're getting hurt all the time, how much value are they? Right? Well, same thing in the army, right? Like, hey, we need guys to be there. We need guys that are consistent. You know, we need soldiers are. Oh crap. You got Chris Mullinax, man.

that dude's a fricking rock star. So, you know, the, the reality is, um, I, you know, I'm just a sergeant major. I've been very lucky, uh, to, to serve an army this long, you know, um, and to, uh, get to do what I get to do, you know, um,

Alaska Airlines and Hawaiian Airlines have come together, bringing you more destinations and even more rewards. Now your miles add up no matter which airline you fly. Head to Hawaii with Hawaiian or explore Mexico, the Bahamas, the East Coast, and beyond with Alaska. Your loyalty just got a major upgrade. More flights from the West Coast, more perks, and more ways to earn. Book now at alaskaair.com.

you know, I told you there's an identity, right? And so I've been an infantryman. I've been a blue corps wearing guys since 1990. That's very much a part of your identity, right? And to get to lead people, right? Like, I don't think people understand the value in their life, right? Of what it means to be in these positions and have the opportunities, right? To both serve with, but then lead, right? And

to gain people's respect, like to work that hard and to gain that respect, right. Doesn't have a value on it, you know? And, and,

I just hope that we get away from some identity politics, okay? Right? Because my identity is Army. It's this color, right? And in the end, I value all my soldiers based on what they can do, all right, and what their potential is, right? Because that's what Sarmators do. What Sarmators really do is we develop people, right? We develop the next leaders. We develop the next soldiers.

And we do that by providing them opportunity, by providing them a direction, right? By sometimes making them go in a direction they need to go in, by sometimes doing other things. But in the end,

the best thing that I've ever done in the army is develop a bunch of people, right. Who are now even ahead of me, you know what I'm saying? So anyway, no, there's a bunch of talk, man. I love it. Leadership is something I will always say, learn. I learned from the military and then taking that out and apply it the rest of my life. Cause, and then also stress levels are very hard to civilian stresses. It,

If nobody's shooting at you, why are you stressed? You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's the bottom line. I mean, like, look, that's the reality. I learned that growing up in Fayetteville. Exactly. Well, I'm sure you probably did. And he knows what I'm talking about. Like, hey, look, the reality is freaking...

Once you've been in the kind of that stressful situation, you're like, well, I'm probably not going to die from this. So life can't be too bad. The way hang up is you still kind of searching for that feeling every now and then, you know, that as well as I do. I mean, like there's a reason why I love to jump out airplanes. Right. Like in the end, you know, when you're standing at the door, right. You're like, Hey, I'm going to put in God's hands today.

Like there is something about that, right? And it was pretty neat to be able to still do that too when you're old crap.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's the reality. I'm 55 years old, man. Like freaking. You're still jumping. It's still, well, was until November this past year. When I left that job and now I came to this job because now I've got a new job. So I'm the MDW, the Military District of Washington Joint Task Force NCR. So we have the old guard, the

and really a bunch of the installations here and a number of other organizations. And so we provide everything from the special security for special events, whether it was presidential inauguration. So all the troops that you saw in the presidential inauguration, the bands, the rest of that stuff, that's all part of us, you know, and it's...

a different part of the army than I've ever seen. Because like I told you, you know, my identity is infantry. Like I've tried to be a in the dirt kind of guy my entire life and coming here has been, you know, kind of eye opening because the reality is we say stuff like soldier for life, right? Well, what soldier for life means is that these incredible TOG soldiers are conducting six funerals a day in Arlington, burying our... Fallen. Yeah, fallen.

There are brothers. There are sisters. You know, in the end, it comes back to that legacy again. Right. Like to your point, like there's when we did the transition to 11th up north, you know, we invited who we could find. Well, there was like two dudes that could actually come who had been 11th Airborne during World War Two. They're all past. Right. But they're still our brothers and sisters because we're connected through history to every one of them.

And so but anyway, the bottom line is when you hear soldier for life, they're the they're really the the physical manifestation of that. Right. By really showing that. And they do a job that that because I've always sought not to do it, I respect even more. You know what I'm saying? What it takes to be a guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier.

Like, I couldn't do it. You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, we pay a lot of respect, as we should, to all our special operators and to getting through ranger school and being a jump master and doing those things. But the things that these guys have to do on a daily basis, the discipline and everything they have to show is remarkable. And so getting to be a part of that and see those things is pretty cool. It's true discipline right there. Yeah.

Vern Daly. Thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry. Smoke warned you. I'll talk your ears off, man. You know what I'm saying? This is the guy you want to talk to. I got one request before you get away from the mic. You ever watch UFC, the announcer? Yeah, Joe Rogan. Yeah.

Bruce Buffer yeah I want you to call in the next Sergeant Major like you're Bruce Buffer announcing make sure to embarrass him the entire time let's see alright man I'm trying to think I'm trying to get it and from the Sergeant Major you better sound the fuck off hold on I'm trying to get it and coming to the ring

From the G357, the previous first infantry division Command Sergeant Major, Ranger, Badass Overall, and truly the man, Christopher Mullinan!

Hey Brandon, yes Eli when you think of businesses that are just crushing it bonker onset What's the first thing to enter your mind? That's easy. You like a good child labor law attorney, huh? Eli I said Shopify. What did you hear? Actually? It was the overlook secret behind the business. Like I said Shopify Oh

Which brings us to today's ad. Shopify. I mean, we use Shopify on a daily basis. That's right. We use Shopify for Bunker Branding and Unsub. Those magical shoes we have where they're linked through Shopify to the mythical store Bunker Branding. And because of Shopify, they communicate. It's like your mom and your dad on their anniversary night. Not yours.

Nobody does selling better than Shopify. They are home of the number one checkout on the planet. With ShopPay, which boosts your conversion up to 50%. 50%. Just like the age of all of our factory workers are 50% the age they need to be to be legally employed in the United States. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we get over at Unsubscribe or Bunker. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period over at Shopify.com slash UnsubPod.

Head over to shopify.com/unsubpod to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/unsubpod. All lowercase. Oh, there. Clean off.

with these little oil wipes. How you doing, Sergeant Major? I'm doing great. Thanks for having me. This would be terrifying as like rewind when I was a private or anything. This would have been absolutely terrifying just interviewing Sergeant Major. You just told a command sergeant major to sound off. I know. I was like, how long have you been waiting for that? This has been building up inside you for years now. Oh, do push-ups. Oh, I'm so sorry.

How long you been in? So I'll hit 27 years. June 24th. Yeah. And then you did... It's gone by fast. You have, what, first... Your first bat...

Yeah, so I started off in 1st Ranger Battalion. I've been to all of them, so they sort of kept kicking me down, you know, hey, we'll send them to the next battalion. I guess I wasn't good enough at the, you know, the time I was at. But no, the truth is I had an opportunity to serve all the Ranger Battalions, but I started at 1st Ranger Battalion. That's where I met my wife. I've been married 18 years, got $2, $14. Congratulations. Thank you.

Her dad was a retired fire chief, Navy veteran back in the day. He was a fire chief when he retired there. So probably move back there one day, be close to her. My wife's family, I'm pretty close to them as well. So first Raider Battalion is sort of where it all started. It's where I became a

A man, became a father, became a husband. So all the things that happened good and bad in my life kind of started at that organization. But I had an opportunity to be a rep instructor, second range of battalion as a platoon sergeant, third range of battalion as a first sergeant. When were you in second bat? I was in second bat from 2007 to 2010.

Oh, okay. And we stood up... I was there when we stood up Deco. Yeah. Yeah, Foil. Yeah, you guys... I remember when you got the super nice barracks. Like, they were getting the... Yes. The extremely nice barracks. Yeah, it's a nice facility. So, when you were in... I... You did R.I.P. when it was called R.I.P. That's right. Now it's called... R.A.S.P.? Yes, R.A.S.P. R.A.S.P. 1. And then got...

do you know like brand have you ever read or seen how like ranger school or rip at that time that was three weeks right it was about three or four weeks yeah yeah three or four yeah you had like man you had pre-rip and then rip my buddy got fucked because he was he did pre-rip which not a fun time and then he got to uh actual uh

Oh, his Ranger tab, not the, nevermind. He did a pre-Ranger. And then when he got there, they had to make him do pre-Ranger again. Now at Benning, he was like, well, I already did this literally like two weeks ago. So when you went in, you were doing, how was like RIP compared to Ranger school for you? RIP back then was pretty much a three week smoke session.

Give them a, like, when they smoke, you say smoke session, that could sound like, oh, you do 100 push-ups and that's it. No, go on. I mean, you wake up and you're basically, they were looking for a reason to smoke us all day long. And really the purpose was, good or bad, it was to figure out who really wanted to be there. So the, in the course, in the...

i i have to say that like the you know especially when it transitioned to rast the ranger assessment selection program uh it's professionalized right so it's it's still really really hard in fact it's harder than it was then um but they've they've professionalized in a way that it's they made it very difficult but without all the the dumb stuff so they're you know they're still going through a very very hard program they're still being assessed

figuring out who really wants it and who doesn't. So all those things are still happening, but they've, they've, they're doing it in a way that, uh, that is much better than it was sort of on the fly back in the, in what way would you say it's harder? Well, I think it's, uh, you know, I haven't been in the Ranger Regiment since 2014 or 15. So, uh, so the programs continue to evolve, but I, you know, I think that, um, they're looking very much, you know, harder at their, um,

their suitability for the organization. So there's psychic vows involved, there's all sorts of things. So they're weeding out an echelon of folks that may not have, you know, 20 years ago, may have not passed this modern rip. So you're getting a...

You're getting a young ranger that is more reliable, stronger character, consistent across the formation, more reliable, just as physically fit, if not more, because it's very competitive. As the organization's grown, it's become kind of a place to be in and more so than it ever has been. And so you're getting physically fit, really smart, young soldiers that are serving in that organization. And, oh, by the way, it's longer now. I think it's closer to eight weeks, if not eight weeks,

And they're doing a lot of really tough training. That second month, I mean, it's exclusively focused on, like, real exceptional training that we just didn't learn that back in the day. Even as a young soldier in a ranger platoon, you weren't learning the skills that they're learning in RASP.

Now, okay. It's nine day. What was your, like, one of the hardest days you look back on at, like, Rip? And we're like, man, I almost tapped out there. There had to be a couple. Well, I screwed up. Godspeed. When they say smoke you all day, this is like for eight hours. They have no problem just making you do up, downs. And you're hungry. And if you haven't heard this before,

If you talk to anybody that's ever gone through the program, they'll remind you of hit the wood line. So this is when you go out to the field and 100 times a day they tell you to hit the wood line. It's like a 500-meter field that you go out, bring a tree branch back, come back to the formation. You do that over and over and over again.

So there's a lot of stuff that just really, I think they might still do that. I hope they do. But there's a lot of stuff that just really didn't make sense. And it wasn't necessarily preparing them for the organization other than to figure out, you know, who really wanted to be there and who didn't, but they weren't really getting trained. So I think that's the biggest, biggest thing. So around what year did you first go through RIP?

I went through in December of 1998. So in 1998, the internet wasn't nearly as prevalent. We didn't have TV shows like Making the Cut. Did you have any idea what you were getting into when you agreed to go to that? No, I had no idea. In fact... This is the second person that said that. I just didn't know what the Ranger Regiment was. My dad served in the Army as a young soldier.

And then, you know, worked for the government many years out there. So it's kind of like being a military brat, but I didn't know a lot about Army. I knew I wanted to serve. My grandfather was a cook. I can't wait to see these parks. I actually did three years of Navy Junior ROTC in high school. So I thought I was going to the Navy. I was like ready to go be a Navy SEAL. And then...

My dad was helping out this young guy who had just gotten out of the Army, and it turns out he came from the Ranger Regiment. And he found out, hey, I've been talking to a recruiter. I'm getting ready to graduate high school next year. And he's like, hey, this is what you need to do. Go ask for a RIP contract and tell them that you want to be a forward observer or a medic and a couple other. And then he said, whatever you do,

Do not let them sign you up to be an 11 Bravo. And I'm like, okay, got it. So I go down. I do everything he tells me to do. I come back. He's like, how'd it go? Great. I'm all signed up. Ready to go. I'm going to start basic training next year. He's like, what's your MOS? 11 Bravo. So here I am, 27 years later. The one. Seems to have worked out for you. Yeah, it was good. How far did you make it into RIP before you realized that guy might have fucked you over a little bit? How far?

Well, it turns out it doesn't matter what your job is because it's all going to be really tough. To be honest, I don't know how many Ford observers you know from the soft community or the Ranger Regiment, but I wasn't smart enough to do what those guys do. They're wicked smart guys, and I think I was better suited to be an infantryman. So it worked out.

11, bang, bang, just having fun. You do the math. Give me the machine gun. That's right. Exactly. What was one of the worst training things where it just sucked, like your worst day? This is different than what you're expecting, but when I say I screwed up, we're sitting in

parachute harness. I was introduced to Copenhagen. My buddy, my battle buddy from basic training was a dipper. By the way, we were allowed to dip back then. We were allowed to dip, but you're not allowed to do it in the harness, right? I don't know that I knew that. Anyways, that wasn't the problem. The problem was he was spitting in his canteen. So we were sharing his canteen as a spitter. And the instructor saw us doing that.

And he was furious. And now I think about it, yeah, that's pretty freaking disgusting, right? Because those are canteens we get issued. We've got to give them back. Someone just did this in their canteen. Terrible, terrible, terrible decision, right? But we were held accountable. So instead of getting that weekend off, we collected up.

And all the entire class is canteens, so it's two one-quarts and one of the two-quarts. So I think it's like three canteens per guy, 100 folks in the class or whatever it is, have like these giant black trash bags of canteens. And we spent the entire weekend washing those canteens. I thought you were about to say they made you drink it. Well, I was worried that we were going to get dropped.

I was going to get kicked out of the course because they could have easily said you're gone. But they gave us a second chance. And that's why I think that's the closest I came to like...

being out of the course. And I was thinking, I mean, it resonates to this day with me that, yeah. You got to stay in because it is something where they do. Yeah, what a terrible story to have to come back and sit here with you today. And I actually, I didn't serve in the Ranger Regiment. I got kicked out because I was spitting in a canteen. You ever been so badass that the Army tried to break you for three weeks straight while strategically starving you and the worst experience from it was having to do the dishes? That's right. What?

That's so true. He's like, man, I didn't...

Worst day of my life. There I was just cleaning. He has such a way with words. What was your worst experience? They made me do the dishes one time. Yeah. It was rough. And you made it. How'd you stay in? How high did you get in the Ranger Regiment? Were you Sergeant Major or First Sergeant? So I left as a First Sergeant. Damn, that is a testament to you. Yeah, I'm super proud of the time that I served there. You know, and...

Staying as a CSM would have been awesome. I went to the academy, went to the 173rd to be a battalion CSM right out of the academy. Competed to come back as a CSM, but the thing is, the competition is so steep.

And there just were better guys for those positions. And so I went on to serve in the Army. And I tell you, I'm grateful for that because I left there and what I realized leaving the Ranger Regiment, if you're going to continue to serve for a while after leaving there, I had a lot to learn about the Army.

And so leaving there when I did was key to, you know, I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't left when I did. And the Army needs us to, you know, go out and share what we've learned in that organization and share with the, you know, with the rest of the institution. It's important that we do that.

That's awesome. Did you, Jericho actually, did you ever know a Jericho? I don't know what bat Jericho's in. Was he a second bat boy? I don't remember. A lot, but he was in, he made, I want to say Sarn Major or first Sarn at least too, and

Yeah, you're talking about Jerick Denman. Yeah. Yeah, we were Ranger buddies. I first met him, got to know him well at Sacred Ranger Battalion. Phenomenal guy. Warrior. All in on being a warrior. And then he finished up and retired out of 1st Ranger Battalion as a 1st Sergeant. I've got a funny story about Jericho, actually. We did that explosive training course. Jericho was there with us. So we're doing breaching shit. We're doing C4 charges, C2, all that shit.

And, um, it's my first time playing. I've blown up a lot of shit, but I was never played with like serious putty before. So that was very cool. And he, uh, we're doing this like breaching charge. It's maybe like, I don't know, four or five pounds of C4. And, uh, he has like, basically he's like, ah, we only have this much line. Yeah, this should be fine. Just be around this corner. Like, yeah, it should be good. Uh, should be safe from the overpressure at that distance. Set it off with the shock tube.

felt like I got smacked over the head with a f***ing wiffle ball bat and just like, "Woo-hoa, f***!" He was like, "Oh, yeah, now that I see it, that was probably a little close. Ah, eat an avocado, you'll be fine." Eat an avocado?! We're talking about the same Jericho. Yeah.

I was like, you guys probably knew each other. Avocado's definitely in this. Get some omega-3s, you'll be alright. Why am I brain-squishing? I forgot the second grade, but I've got an avocado. How many deployments did you end up doing with

I think it was 13. And these are, but we've got to remember, like, the Ranger Regiment model was about three and a half, 105, 120-day model deployment. So, you know, across Afghanistan, Iraq, do about 13 of those. I mean, that's nothing compared to a lot of guys. I mean, they've done way more than that. They're still doing them. They're still there. I've got Ranger buddies that are there today that I grew up with that are battalion CSM, RSM, that are,

Still at it. Getting after it. What's the most deployments you know from a friend? I'm not sure. It's probably well over 20. That is a lot of war. Yeah. That is crazy. And Sergeant Major Mullinax, that's how you say it? Yeah, yeah. That's right. Thank you so much for your time, man. Yeah, thanks for having me. This has been great. Truly, truly a pleasure, brother. I'm glad you know a couple of the same people. Also,

Godspeed, brother. Thanks a lot. Well, hey, I've got Sermator Garza here lined up. Phenomenal guy. Mentor of mine as well is Vern Daly. So let's get him in here and get to work. We appreciate you talking to me. Thanks, Sermator. Yeah, absolutely. Great meeting you guys. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Take care. Thank you so much. All right. Great to meet you. Jay Garza.

So I guess right out the gate you know Cody.

I know it must be Donut. I know he is Donut. Hi, Sergeant Major. Hi. Oh, you're on. I think you're the fat electrician today. Yeah, that's me. Well, it's a history buff. I did a little research on you. Okay, that's fair. Great historian. That's fair. I think right here we got the, I think you ran for Congress. Yes, sir. All right. You came close. Came very close. Very close. No, fantastic. My office was almost down the street. Herrera, right? Yes, sir. That's correct. Brandon? Is it Brandon Herrera? Yes, sir. Okay, fantastic. Thank you.

And then, of course, Eli Quivas. Super. I'm glad that we now outnumber the whites. I know. There's three brown people over here with only two whites this time. How you doing, man? Hey, doing fantastic. Doing great. It's a great opportunity to come in here and meet with y'all. I mean, when the SMA asks you to do something, you never say no. No, you got volunteers. But you do your research. Yeah, you're like, I need to see. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh, I'm going in on this. Cody. What? Cody, we're minorities. We are the minorities. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's how it feels. Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's so much funnier watching the people behind the camera laugh while you guys have to lock in and pretend it's not funny. How was it like, oh, these guys are coming on and they're bringing white claws. What was your reaction to that? It's like...

Well, one... He just called me a bitch without saying it. That's fine. We got a little notification and then Esme really wanted to do this. And so he said, hey, the best thing to do is to get a couple of sergeant majors in here and, you know, work it from there. That is as military as it gets where it's like, hey, you're going to have to do this.

Why? There you go. Here's what I did watch. I watched, I realized there's a lot of individuals that actually watch your podcast and which is incredible. One or two. It reaches an enormous amount of people. And I didn't know that. And so this was the first time that I did get online and watch. And some of it's comical. Some of it's great information. Absolutely love what y'all stand for. So,

He's like, not a big fan of the slurs, not gonna lie. Those gotta go. All the ones we call Eli. You gotta go on this podcast in any uniform? Did I do something wrong? What if this is just hazing? I didn't think about that. As it may, it's just fucking with you. Danny, if you guys wanna be here... I got rid of waterboarding. Bring in the unsubscribed podcast.

It's weird coming from any... I'm sure a lot of viewers that are veterans or even active, like the level of all of you and then just a bunch of... Degenerates. Yeah. Retards. Yeah. So many words for us. Well, I don't know. Several of y'all have served, so it's a big deal. Exactly. It's still for me. That makes it more solidified. Makes it worse. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a majority did. They had different walks and then, yeah. Yeah.

That's just, it's crazy to be here. And to see, like you were just saying, a lot of people that listen to the podcast and everything. How many people have had come up to us while we were on our way here in the Pentagon that were like, we were at your Norfolk show? Yeah. Damn, we got a lot of feds in the audience. A lot. Sergeant Major Daly, when he left, was like, I love your videos, by the way. I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. And it is an awesome experience. It is. Also, yeah, yeah.

wild, wild experience for any of us because none of us have done. We've never been here. It's a daily activity for you. So first time in the Pentagon. Yeah. Which we really appreciate the opportunity to even do this. It's just incredible. There's just so much history that's been made in this building. It's wild to have an opportunity to, and for us, this is historic for us, but just to see where all these decisions that have impacted the course of American history have taken place.

Bro, I'm the new guy. Three years ago, I was putting wire nuts on wires in a hog slaughtering manufacturing facility in Mason City, Iowa. And now I'm doing a fucking podcast in the Pentagon with Sergeant Majors. Don't forget the white claw. Also, I was the first person to ever chug a white claw at the Pentagon. I gotta win.

You told no one? No, I had to win, obviously. I also wore a tuxedo tank top, probably also a first in the Pentagon. Is this the first? Perfect attire for any occasion. We're going to claim everything. We were talking about the intro we were going to do. Did you go poop yet?

Not yet. I'm working on it. I need to shit at the Pentagon. It has to happen. That's one thing everyone was like, dude, we all... It's probably not a big deal for you, but I really want to take a shit at the Pentagon. Speaking of beating people in races, I'll be back. I wish I could take... I'll take that, bro.

No you won't. I literally just to prove a point shit my pants. And we're like, no, we're so sorry. I don't know why he's not behaving.

Oh, no. So this is actually my second stint in the building. So the first time I came was in 2018. And if you've seen the movie Gladiator, when they get to the Coliseum, and it's like, ah. And so I thought, wow, I'm going into the Pentagon. I'm going to get to learn how the Army runs. What you learn is, I mean, you almost learn...

how hard it is to get things done in the Pentagon. It's tough to get things done. You need leaders pushing things. It's very bureaucratic. It can be. It can be at times. It can be at times. We heard the mountains that had to be moved just to get these white claws in the building. I would love to see what that paperwork looked like. Was it just paperwork you guys had to submit and do? Can we get a copy of it just to post? No. No.

We would definitely be like, look, it actually is a thing. We would frame that paperwork. Oh, that would go in the background. 100%. That would 100% go in the studio forever. There's a greater than 0% chance that Elon Musk tweets this line item for expenses for the U.S. government. What the fuck is $12.99 for White Claws for the unsubscribed podcast? Me and Cody could probably clear that up on Twitter, on X, pretty quickly.

That's our... You just have that retweet with a hand up. It's like, who's really important? Actually, probably the dollar for dollar the best 13 bucks the army ever spent.

oh no this i mean this is gonna go you get i mean a lot of people you're gonna see you're gonna be hit up by family people uh members and they'll be like oh i saw you on that for the good or the bad we'll see uh that's the bad well you know the thing is you can this thing can go wide right wide left but what an opportunity to get to the young kids you know and get them into the army so

It's the new, if you're actually figuring stuff out and doing it right, it is like, how do you talk to the new generation? It's not through a bunch of old people being like, this is what the kids want to hear. Absolutely right. I don't even know what the kids want to hear. I like,

show is a decade younger than me and she knows what like a way better than any of us brand is like in touch on twitter x everyone has their roles but it's it's a wild experience and then you guys are yeah cody's like cody gets his own twitter sergeant major if you look up the most influential people on twitter it's like the top 20 and it's like

A-list celebrity, A-list celebrity, politician, billionaire, billionaire, A-list celebrity. Don't say donut. He's right in between Taylor Swift and Kanye West. First person to spill a white claw at the Pentagon. Eli. Eli Cuevas. First person to party foul at the Pentagon. And I got a drink.

Dear God. I was like, man, yeah, I bumped it over. It's a first. We're just going to have the best of times. So when you got in, you got in what year did you? 1996. Dang, everyone joined before you guys were like. I was two. No big deal. Brandon was born. I was maybe one. Yeah. He still looks younger than me.

I age like milk. I was nine at the time. I don't know if I look younger than you do. What is the fastest for a lot of the Sergeant Majors? What is the fastest track you can take for that? Where you're like, dude, that guy made Sergeant Major in 12 years, 14 years. You know what? I think SMA Daily.

was the fastest promoting to SMA. I think he was 26, a little over 26 years, maybe 27. No shit. That was, it was fast. I don't think we've had a Sergeant Major make it that fast in the Army. Now, you have some 12, 13, 14 years. They don't make Sergeant Major in the Army. That's a coveted position that we have found out a lot of the guys are like.

How long is SMA right now? Uh, Weimer been, he's almost 30. So I think he's, he's, he's either 30, a little bit over 30. Yeah. That's a good meeting him. We were like, bless me and that dude. And then he just clicked with us instantly. He dropped his dip can in that big meeting. Yeah. He dropped his dip can. I was like, Oh shit. Here. He's like, you know what that means?

But yeah, he's a homie. It's awesome experiencing any of this. Was this one of your... The first time going to the Pentagon or getting stationed here? Was that something in your wheelhouse? Like, oh, I want to do that. Or was that just like... No. Falling told? In most soldiers, they want to...

spend time in the formations, won't want to come to the building. But you need the experience. You need to come in and kind of figure some things out. You build those relationships so that when you go back out to the force, then you can, you know, work, network, and get things done. It's so easy to get things done when you know a Rob Haney who's coming behind me or you know a Chris Mullinax. You know, they pull a lever or two and, you know, the bureaucratic process is

won't exist at that point. So...

So no, the Pentagon was not a dream job of mine at all. But now it's making it a lot easier. I was just saying it's kind of funny because you liken it to the Coliseum in Gladiator. The first time, because everybody's just got a reverence for the building, obviously. But was it one of those things where in the beginning you're like, oh, fuck the Pentagon. And now you're like, oh, fuck the Pentagon. No, no. I think it was, wow, the Pentagon. Yeah.

And then the next question was, what are you going to do in the Pentagon? And then you realize how the Pentagon operates. And then maybe the second time was, oh, I'm going back to the Pentagon. You kind of know. You can kind of come and influence things you need to influence for your boss. Okay, so more like you know how to play the game now. It's like, okay, it's not so bad. That's right. You know that it's all about the people and getting to know the people better.

networking with the people to get the decisions made. At the end of the day, we're just trying to get things to the soldiers. I was curious what comes with being the Army Futures Command Liaison. Yeah, so Army Futures, the headquarters is actually in Austin, Texas. And so I'm in the building when Command Sergeant Major Hester can't make a meeting and the SMA needs a Futures representative, I'm that guy. For instance, JMRC, we just went out to JCPenney

Germany and watch 310 in the box using a lot of the latest technology. Cool. And so I go out, talk to soldiers, meet with soldiers, see if that equipment is actually working for them or if we can get feedback from the soldiers and make improvements on the equipment. I bring it back to Hester and the SMA, Command Sergeant Major Hester and the SMA, so that they can get in front and back brief the chief and

At the end of the day, it's about getting the right equipment to soldiers so that we can fight and win. So you get to see a bunch of cool new technology. That's awesome. Absolutely. I love it. Have you heard of the IVAS? No. The Integrated Virtual Augmentation System, HoloLens. You can actually map a room anywhere in the world, and then you can execute 25 times, enter and clear in that room.

No shit. So now you had to build out the, because I know like they would, you just build out the mock units and then the layout. And now it's just doing with VR and absolutely.

I was expecting that football flag to come at any moment. I know, it's like, "Boo!" "Boo!" That flag on the play. They're leaving the hard drive, it's like, "No!" Yeah, we joked earlier, "If there's anything you don't want out here, just throw a little yellow football flag." We will just let you know, it was not taxpayer dollars that went on the list. No, okay, so these were not taxpayer-- these are Doge-exempt. Doge-exempt money went towards the White Clause, apparently.

We got it. Zero taxpayer dollars. Who paid for them then? You guys want one? We're going to get them. They're going to slip.

Okay. Well, thank you. We owe him an after work beer. Yep. Done. Done. That's the biggest worry. They're like, no, they can't. We're just like, we'll offer one to every Sergeant Major that steps up. Has anyone drank anyone? No. No. You want me to trendsetter? No. No, I think the next individual will absolutely probably take you up on the offer. I don't know.

He's a strong man. But Rob Haney. You want to announce him, man? Yeah. Rob Haney, who's the ASALT Sergeant Major. He works for the Assistant Secretary of the Army for Acquisition, Logistics, and Technology. He's responsible for procuring everything that Army Futures puts in the hand or basically writes the requirements. He puts it in the hands of soldiers. All right.

Come on in, Rob. And he loves alcohol, apparently. I appreciate you coming on. Thank you so much. Donut. All right. Thanks so much. Teacher. All right. The best teacher. Good. Nick? Yep. Brandon? Yes, sir. Pleasure to meet you. Cody? Yes, sir. Adam.

And then... Eli. Eli. Alright. My name's Rob. How you guys doing? Doing good. Sorry I'm accidentally breaking this military grade chair. So, Sergeant Major, right off the bat, we're gonna put you in the hot seat. Well, my boy's halo, my guy. You're stacked. Wait, hold the shit on. Wait, ask him about his drink. Do you want to A, have a drink, or B, make your fellow Sergeant Major a liar? I will pass on the drink. Okay. Okay.

There's going to be that technical difficulties. Nick has a black eye. For sure. Nick, how do you go take that shit? Army of one. He was a black eye. He is army strong.

How you doing, brother? Pretty good. You are the first one that... You had some fun classes. I did, I did. I spent about 30 years in the Army and a good number of it was in 75th Ranger Regiment and had some unique experiences out there. Yeah, I would say so. So if you don't know Brandon, do you? No, I...

I'm lost. Halo, so Halo, scuba. Combat diver, right? Yeah. CDQC down in Key West and then Halo down in... I went to school down in Marana. Usually it's one or the other. You got both schools? So I was the Special Troops Battalion sergeant there at Fort Benning, Georgia. We had a reconnaissance company. So that was...

our element is kind of in charge of green face recce. So I went to school with them to be able to participate with them in training. And then I went to CDQC or dive school when I was a young sergeant. I was up

grading lanes on EIB, if any of you guys have seen that. So I was grading the NBC station. They walked up there. They were like, hey, who wants to go to preschool? But I'm like, I would much rather do that than sit up here and grade lanes all day. So that was the worst three weeks and three days of my life, is going to dive school. I've heard fantastic stories about dive school. So that is like...

Explain why it was absolutely... Well, so first group, so you don't actually drown. It's a shallow water blackout. But first group, they're like... You don't actually drown. You don't actually drown. It just feels like it. You basically just water...

get waterboarded no that's not true it's uh you know the buildup of carbon monoxide or carbon dioxide in your blood kind of clicks your brain out but uh during pre-scuba you know you do a lot of underwater work and uh you know uh there's very very controlled very observed uh but um

Sometimes you just, you know, the little tunnel gets tighter and tighter and then somebody picks you up out of the water. Think to yourself, maybe the NBC lane wasn't that bad. Maybe you need to come somewhere else. That's the commercial thing. So,

So it was a very hard school, very physically fit, physically enduring school. It has a purpose in the Army. The special operations forces that use combat diver as a job, which I did not use solely as a job, they have a very hard mission in the Army, and I very much respect what they do.

Dude, three weeks would be like, what was the worst experience in that? For me, it was open water swims because you do up to 3,000 meters of open water, you know, spinning on top of the water. I started out and I was a little closer. Yeah, I felt like I was pretty fast, but I was always in swim team last. So everybody that dropped to the course, you ended up getting paired with somebody new every day.

So I always had a new partner every day, every single day. It seemed like I always had a new partner and I couldn't get used to, you know, to, to build that bond. But you dog, that was, uh, that was probably the worst part of it. Dude, that is. And you're just swimming in open water. Just finning in open water. Uh,

So it was pretty neat. And then you did Halo before Tunnels, right? No, no, no. I'm not that old. Oh, okay. I was wondering about that. Oh, absolutely not. No, I spent a good – I spent a significant amount of time in Tunnel. I was told that I fly like a potato chip or a piece of cardboard. Dude, once you start rocking, there's like – you just go –

So I will say I spent a significant amount of time in a tunnel, but I learned a lot and it was kind of one of those things that you learn in school and you can see how it applies out into the forest. Eli's been trying to get us into a tunnel for like a year at least.

That's the greatest thing in the world. It's easier to get me out of a plane than it is in a tunnel. Oh, no. Flying in a tunnel is one of the funnest things to do. I just know that Eli has this thing where he's really good at a lot of shit that none of us have ever tried. And so he likes looking like the expert while we flail around and get beat against the wall. Well played. Just relax. Well played. I understand that. Dude, we always try to explain it, but originally with...

the Halo school, you'd have to do the boards. So you just literally, your training for falling out of a plane was here's a board with wheels and you just have to roll around on your belly. And then they throw you out of a plane. That is a wild, like, I could not wrap my head around that. We've come a lot farther than that nowadays. Thank God. Just imagine that. Like, okay, you're ready. Like, just go, go. What was the highest jump you... 25. 25.

And that is full. Yeah, full. Oxygen, 25. So, yeah, that's the highest I've done. It was pretty cool. You can see the natural curvature of the earth as you kind of cut them out. And that school, how long was that school? I think it was three weeks. It was three weeks, somewhere around that. Did you go to sniper school, too? I did not. Okay, I was like, what else are you hiding right there? No, no, no.

I did not. I was like, you're just stacking it up. Nope. What year did you end up joining? So I came in the Army in 1984. So I've been in about right over, right about 30 years. Yep. It's a pretty exciting time. Was that the year you were born? Yeah. It sure was. Yeah. So came in the Army in 94, spent...

I spent two years up at the 10th Mountain Division in the cold, cold, two or three years up there as a private. I actually think back very fondly on those times. I think Vern was in here a little bit earlier. Coming out of Alaska, Fort Drum, New York is a little bit different. It's really, really cold, but it's a lot of snow. And I learned a lot of things as a young private that I still keep with me today, you know, keeping a dry pair of socks.

always having something else to change into and taking care of your feet. We didn't have a bunch of stuff like helicopters or airplanes or trucks to get distracted by. Did a lot of walking as a private. And then for some reason, we either went to the Joint Readiness Training Center in the winter or we went down to Panama. So I had been on a couple trips down to Panama and experienced the jungle down there. It sounds a lot better than the thick snow.

It is 100% a lot better than the thick snow. But I mean, you learn a lot being in the snow. Noticing a pattern. So did you intend on being in for 30 years when you joined? So I did not actually. So here's the pattern. Yeah. So I have like a kind of a awkward story. I was grew up in a small town called Hawthorne, Nevada, and only had about 3000 people. And we had to go like to Reno, Nevada to go to the recruiters.

And I had always said I was going to go join the Marines. I went up to go join the Marines and

like shook on the door and shook on the door and it was closed. And I was like, what the heck? So I kind of like went next door to the army guy. He's goes, Hey, come on in here. I got something for you. And I'm like, no, I'm waiting on the Marine. He goes, no, just come in and have a seat. And we'll, we'll sit down and talk. And about three weeks later, I was in the army down there for bending Georgia sniped you from the brain. Yeah. Yeah. So the army crew recruited, but change around. Absolutely. I was wholeheartedly, uh,

Going in the Marines. But, yeah, well, here I am 30 years later still in the Army. Sergeant Major at the Pentagon. Yeah, absolutely. And what are you doing with the military? So I do work in ASALT, Army acquisitions and logistics and technology. So we buy and modernize major programs in the Army for the Department of Defense to –

A, be ready for the next fight and deter our nation's enemies in preparation for war. So is that like DARPA kind of stuff, or what exactly does that entail? It's not. It is really buying tanks, buying the next generation tanks, looking at helicopters and the next generation of helicopters, buying the next generation of rifles, buying the next generation of

So it's not really development, more just acquisition. So it is more of acquisition. We do a part of development of current and existing programs. So the M1 tank, we do incremental improvements on the M1 tank that is, you know, advancements in technology. But...

Jay Garza, the sergeant commander who was right before me, they do kind of the research and looking at future requirements, and we do the buying of those requirements, my boss being the Army Acquisition Authority for us. So the real question is, who did you piss off here that landed you here at this table? Hmm.

I didn't piss off anybody. That you know of. I don't think I pissed off anybody. We've decided unsubscribe is a punishment here. That's the story. Hold on, hold on. I'm a people person. People like me. Okay, well, good. We're happy to have you. Actually, that's kind of a joke because I'm usually pretty introverted.

So I'm not sure how I got to go last and how I, how I ended up down here today. So I mean, Hey, he's the introverted guy. I've never heard him talk before. Send him on the podcast. That is exactly it. So they're like, Hey, he can't do much harm. He's going last. What is like with actually using weapons? You have your, your M fours, everything like that. Um,

I actually want from your perspective with shotguns getting implemented more with drone warfare, because that is the one thing I looked at. I was like, man, this is going to be, you're going to start training soldiers in a completely new area. Yeah, I think you have to look at it in drone warfare as an evolving technology. And, you know, it's a layered approach. You know, I think...

We have things that are going to hit them far, pretty far out. We have some capabilities that are EW that are pretty far out. And then as they get closer, it becomes a little more kinetic to be able to shoot them. And then if you think about your last line of defense being a shotgun, that's something where either that's pretty imminent or that you can see it right there.

I love that there's nothing new under the sun. You've got all this new technology where I'm sure you have jammers and all sorts of stuff, but we go right back to World War I where you have some farm boy from Arkansas that just says, parry this shit ass. 100%. We've had shotguns and what better? Reach door, shoot down...

Small UAS is sitting there bothering me and I can't get to it. So I do think it's the gambit of counter UAS that we're actually taking a look at. And, you know, I think soldier innovation plays a lot into it. You know, you give some kid from Puxatawney, Pennsylvania, a shotgun and he's like, well, hell, there's a dang UAS. I think I could probably shoot it down. I've accidentally been training for this since I was 11. Yeah.

So I do think, you know, and especially in my realm now, soldier innovation plays a lot into it to solve problems throughout the Army because it's not always the engineer that's out there that's going to fix those problems. So a lot of soldier touch points, a lot of feedback from the force, a lot of feedback from industry. And, you know, that's how that's how we're developing the force of the future.

Nice. You know they're developing the Amazon delivery drone thing in San Antonio? I'll be shooting those down because they're from NASA. You're the new porch pirate? Is that what you're doing? They're just aerial pinatas. He's training for World War III. They drop loot. What am I going to do? They're above my house.

The loot plates are here. I think somebody's got a place for you. Farming for XP over there. Cody's the one who gets the haircut today. What was one of your favorite pieces of military equipment you got to use? Let's see here. Because you've got to have some fun stuff. Yeah, so I think some of the, well, some of the best equipment that I've ever used has probably been...

Just rifles in general. I like shooting. I like going out to the range. I like being able to get out. I like the new pistol that we've brought around. The M17? Yeah, the M17. That was 100%. I can't talk about all the cool new shit. No, no, no, no, no. You can fight the gun.

I like the new M17 pistol. I did take a trip up to the manufacturing factory a couple weeks ago, and it's amazing how well they're being put together. The next generation rifle, the 6.8 is... I was just going to ask what you thought about that.

I think it's a big leap forward in actual ballistics. And again, now we're probably going to get blasted by like 30 other people. But I think it's a big leap forward in ballistics and the kinetic transfer of energy. And I think...

Really, as we bring that new weapon into the Army, I think we're going to have increases in lethality across the Army and increases in the family of weapon sites that are attached to that are going to be a big move forward. The whole NGSW program was very, very interesting to watch from the outside. I agree with you on the ballistics. The gun I'm more concerned about, but I don't know how much. You probably can't delve into that at all.

But I know some of the other platforms that were introduced as part of that program were just so weird. Like some of the general dynamics prototypes were crazy. Were they the ones with the plastic cases? No, that was Textron, I think. Okay. They had like bullpups with like potato-looking suppressors and all sorts of just really weird shit. It was – I mean it's new stuff. Yeah.

interesting at least to me. But I really like the new rifle and I think we are taking that kind of the 10x jump forward and I think a lot of that is what we have to do now. We're in a time where we can develop, where we can make advancements and start fielding and trying new equipment. I do appreciate the Chief and the SMA's movement forward with Transforming Contact where we're experimenting

And we're getting new equipment into soldiers' hands and letting them kind of tell us what's going on in the Army and, you know, what's working and what's not working. And then here in a while, we'll slap the table and move forward to the continuous transformation and, you know, pick some things and start moving out on them for further development. Have you guys actually adopted the M250 yet?

The light machine gun? Have not. Okay. I wasn't sure about that or the progress on that. Those were all interesting because they were pretty much the same. Largely. At least from what it looked like to me. A lot of the upgrades were very similar. Everybody was on a similar track. It looks neat. Very light. What was the round for that? Is that the 338? I don't know.

There was a couple different prototypes. One of them was actually quite a few of them were 338 normal mag, I believe. Yeah. And then some of them were in that like 6.8 cartridge. Okay. I think. I could be talking out of my ass. He's the expert. I know I have knowledge of it, but I think it's currently a program that's being looked at.

Have you looked at the, did you get to shoot the eight, six? I did not. That one. Oh, eight, six blackout. We know. Yeah. Don't we? We know the guy that, yeah. Yeah. It's like the 300 blackout and eight, six. Yeah. Cause y'all work with him for that, those guns and everything. Stuff. Yes. Stuff. Stuff. But when we first shot that,

in that round. We were like, yo, what? It's a subsonic. Super flat. Dude, super flat. It's subsonic too. It is a big boy round, but we could mag dump it and I'll keep on targeting. It kicks like an MP5. Really? It's insane. With a 300 grain projectile. We had a range day and someone brought out a machine gun, 8.6. Yeah. And that thing was so flat, just a laser. Oh, man. I have not. These are in a, it's subsonic ground, but it is still, they're hunting like,

Water buffalo? Yeah. And it's subsonic dropping them with no problem. But it's using... It's one to three twist rate. Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's a centrifugal force. Where the heck were you guys at? Were you hunting the water buffalo? Oh, no. This is a friend of mine. He goes up to South Africa.

Not trying to get you in trouble. We're going to do that later this year. We're excited to go do that. It was the people hunting data that gets you in trouble. It's a blast. Dude, how big is your property? Slightly smaller than Rhode Island? Oh, okay. He has a large property. Like a large, large property. Like, dang.

Well, I mean, do you guys got any other questions? I do have to get off. We talked about it. We're interrupting your guys' work. I actually have to go back up. And Jay Garza, the guy who was before me, we had a meeting to go to to talk about what we just experienced over there at JMRC over there in Hohensfeld, Germany. And we're getting ready to brief a couple other people.

senior leaders in the army but i really appreciate you guys's time today and uh we appreciate all you're doing uh you know i i think you know venues like this and to keep the message out there and to keep kind of what's going on across the army is uh is a great venue for for us as senior leaders to get that out there so thanks for all you do thank you thank you for allowing us to do this thank you all right yeah appreciate your time sir yeah thank you very much thank you so much thank you bye are you coming on

You want it, dude? Get over here. Get over here. No white claw. We're drinking. No white claw. You sure? I drank them all already. You're good. What's up? What's up? How's everybody doing, man? It's good to see you again. The proper gentleman's in the house now. Yeah. First officer on the podcast. No pressure. And last...

We'll see. Is that a reference to the black bags over there? I'll come back as a civilian, I guess, after this. We'll see what happens. Good. Yeah, yeah. Hey, you look good. Thanks. You too. Yeah, thanks. I dressed up. I know, I did. I wore my nicest tank top. I see that. It smells like white claw. Like, as you come down to the basement, you can smell it. Good. It's a sweet white claw taste that, you know.

It smells like victory. I want Cersei to know it was me. I was so thankful you guys actually got us White Claws. Like, seriously. We appreciate that. I owe him 20 bucks for that, actually. And we had to get an ETP, I guess. This is Pentagon language. Exception to policy.

It's a memo. We had to drive through the Pentagon and get it all signed. We were joking. We said if there's any way we can get a copy of that, we'll frame it in our studio forever. Let's do that. We got a copy. Actually, Scott probably has one. Is that approval? We can get a copy of that? There it is. Can we get four? Can we read it? Yeah. I was an electrician three years ago, and now the Pentagon's making exceptions for me to come be an idiot. Yeah, that's right.

but i mean i don't see the scent just going that through though sir can you sign this it's like what the huh yeah why it took a little explanation uh i think we're hosting an event is that what this is which yeah so oh we're hosting an event that serves alcohol

So, we did it. Approximately 12 white claws. I think it says 8 on the memo, so... 8 white claws. The infamous white claw 8 pack. Available at every gas station. Don't ask questions. Why did I put 8? I don't know. I like...

Anyway. Give or take. Give or take. It's an approximation, guys. Well, yeah. You got within 50%. That's right. Do I gotta turn these cans into CIF when I leave? I don't gotta go through that, do I? It's expendable. Oh, shit. Yeah, you have to...

Cleaned and accounted for. What's the line item description? Alcohol tube type? Something stupid? And when you leave, you have to say no brass, no ammo.

I just live in the dream. I had to dump them out. Yeah. By the way, thank you so much for being so helpful. Like with a lot of things, like even the video, the doc you did on, um, what is it? Um, habitually fat. So for, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was hilarious. Can we tell that story now? Is that allowed? I don't know. But I mean, look, it's not like us helping. It's you guys are the ones creating the content. You guys are the ones getting after it.

So I am disappointed that we have to help him sometimes. No shit, there I was. Me and Fen right over there. I was eating breakfast at Waffle House. I remember because they put chili on my hash browns, which was delicious. I'd never had it before. Kid Rock? Was he there? No, he wasn't, unfortunately. Every time I go to Waffle House, I'm like, there's got to be Kid Rock somewhere. I think me and Fen were the only ones there. The waitress was like, do you want chili on your hash browns? And I was like,

yes and it was delicious and she brings the food out and then I get a call from Fort Sill and they're like

We're not going to let you on post. We need to think about it for like 90 days. Cause you guys were approved. I was, Oh yeah, I was approved. And I would like flew to Oklahoma coordinated with Finn. Finn flew to Oklahoma. We were at waffle house. Then we were leaving to go to Fort Sill an hour away. And they're like, can't do it. And I'm like, well, I flew here. This is a huge waste of time and money, unfortunately. So I call Eli. I tell him, I was like, I'm going to try to find a different museum or something. Try to not waste the trip. And Eli's like, I got a guy I'll call him.

Eli calls me back five minutes later. My guy's going to make a call. And before I was able to finish breakfast, this guy was like, oh, no, he's allowed to film at 4th Center. They rolled out the red carpet. And we made Habitually Fat, the first episode, happen anyways. And it's a kick-ass episode. Dude, it's like all the love. That massive episode.

For the army too, right? Yeah. It was all positive. I was super impressed. Yeah. Corey, the, uh, the director of the, uh, technically not a museum. Cause everything's not demilled. Everything is still technically an active weapon system. In that case, I don't own a museum. Yeah. So Corey was super cool. That guy knew everything. I was throwing the hard ball questions as I could come up with. I knew every answer to everything immediately. Um,

I mean, it just sucks to see that the army has so much cool shit like that, that they have for the purpose of posterity and keeping it for future generations, so people can see this stuff, but not a lot of people can. And so I think it's cool to have opportunities like that, to be able to show people, like, hey, this is where we came from. This is what we did. Look at all the cool shit we stole from the Germans and the Japanese in World War II. That was half the museum. I was looking at that in the hallways.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. A lot of few war trophies up there. Everything we came up to in that museum, Corey was like, so there's only three of these on the planet. I have two of them. They're right here. He's like, jerk...

Germany has to send their students over here to look at this because they don't have any. We stole theirs. Oh, multiple things. That's awesome. They're like, yeah, they don't even have these anymore. We destroyed all theirs and then we stole these two. They're the only ones left. And when they stole them, they flew in a helicopter. One of those stories you were telling, it's like flew in a helicopter. Oh, that was when we stole an MI-25 Hind from the Soviet Union.

No big deal.

That's pretty much exactly what happened. Fat electrician right here. That was it. That was the episode. By the way, there's only eight on the form, so if you'd like one. I can't. On the form, it says we will not be drinking government civilians or those in uniform. What if we blur out your uniform? That's a floating head. It just cuts off for five seconds and he pulls it up.

pulls it up, and then his unicorn's back on every time it just blurs the name tag. It's a black box. We don't know what's in your coffee cup. It's true. I do. Just trying to find ways. No, but that's good. I mean, what you guys are doing, just, you know, it's obviously not like traditional, uh...

public affairs or PR or whatever, but you guys are connecting with audiences. And, you know, General George is, he's a big fan of yours and like, let's get out there and tell the story. And,

we say that stuff all the time we just don't do it closer to you yeah it's awesome to see the the army too like adapting to the next generation of communications because really like there was a time trying to adapt can we well yeah that's probably we're getting there we're getting there we're getting it but because there was a time when radio and television were non-standard for uh you know communications and stuff like that for for the army you know

they all had to be adapted to eventually. We're rapidly approaching the point. We all get cat cards that say DOD designated dipshit. We're approved to be idiots on the internet on behalf of the DOD. You're approved. Oh, also, uh, we were told there is an SMA. Uh, what is it? Shut up. No, we're making this happen. Oh,

Oh, we have a favor to ask. You picked up the microphone for that. So we were informed by a previous Sergeant Major, I believe it was...

Sergeant Major Stevens informed us that there is a designated honorary Sergeant Major of the Army given out every year. That's right. And Brandon Herrera, at least according to Chad GPT, is the most decorated war veteran in American history. Hey. And I think it'd be pretty cool if he... I f***ing hate you both. I love it. I have no part in that sentence. Well, you had part in what led up to it. Are you aware of the joke?

Not the joke. Okay. I mean, this sounds... So I never served in any regard. I came from a military family and everything. He's so humble. Born in Fort Bragg. But... Oh, so you read my file. We have a little card on you. Like this. But the one episode, it was like the last Veterans Day. Eli tried to pin his purple heart on me. I'm like, get that stolen valor away from me.

And it became a running joke within the audience. So they just kept making up more and more stuff. Every time we do live shows, they bring medals. We have a huge military audience. They bring medals out to live shows and everything. And so now if you ask ChatGPT or...

grok or any of those it's the meta one oh wow the other ones it's like they're celebrating the medal of honor recipient brandon okay it's like a i have no idea i'm honored to be in your presence that's awesome congratulations

The joke is that this is the first time in American history, you know, everybody's seen stolen valor, but nobody's seen forced valor before. Okay. And it's,

It all started with a joke. Maybe you deserve it. I don't know. He has class A's. They've made him class A's. He has diamonds. No, like real. No, they've made him class A's. And then he has a blue cord. He has a C-I-B. He has a C-I-B. 17 Army Achievement Medals. He's got a Medal of Honor. He's got six names. But are you a public affairs officer?

Have you been to the Defense Information School? Can we add that? I'm looking at the audience. Can you add that? Let's get them. There's no public affairs badge, is there? No, there's not. There might be now. Like a PAO on the shoulder. According to the internet, he served in all four branches from World War II to current. And the hair just stayed the same. 60 years before my birth. Yeah.

What is the SART major of the Army? What is that award or whatever that thing? What is it? Oh, for the civilian, the honorary? Yeah, so probably asking the wrong guy-ish, but...

So people that really lean forward and help the Army in whatever way, you know, in their personal capacity, they'll be recognized as an honorary Sergeant Major of the Army. Is there only one a year or is there multiple? One a year, guys. Dan says one a year. He's already raised $100,000 for veterans last two months ago. Yeah. And look what you guys are doing here. I mean, I know we're all joking and stuff. This is...

He's like "It's true and I can't fight it!" I'm sweating dude. He's raised like hundreds of- *laughs*

This is like one of the only things that makes me uncomfortable. I know, but dude, I will stand at parade rest for you if you get... I'd rather you drop the hard R. Dude, I will lock up so fast for you. Like, who's our major? And we can call, like, with that, are they called Tart Major? Dan?

I don't believe so. I mean, you probably do it. You call them whatever you want. Civilian major. We're also, this is, this is actually, this is first announced on unsubscribe. We're, we're going to have the army green jacket award every year. And same, same kind of concept. Uh, you know, those who, those who helped the army civilian side, uh, we'll bestow them with the honorary green jacket. That's kind of cool. Become a club, you know, think about it in 10, 15 years. Like,

have a gathering of green jackets, people getting together. So that's a new thing rolling out? Yeah, so maybe we'll get to it by Army 250. Did you guys talk about the Army birthday? Not yet. Oh man, just saving it for the end. We've got the 250 coming up. Yeah, the 250th anniversary of your United States Army, June 14th, right? Unless you're in Canada, in which case it will be your army. Laughter

Moving along? Between the U.S. Army and Kendrick Lamar, they don't stand a chance. I mean, let's be realistic. So we got the two... The E4s in the back got it. Being an E4... They're just not like us, I guess. How is being an E4 like...

Is there a need for here? I'd like to meet that person. Dang it. Even being a siren, is it terrifying when you first were... Yeah. She's a pro.

She's so serious. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What's the thing? Cause like in the army, they give you that little sheet where they're like, list off your top three preferred bases and we'll try to send you to where they want. Nobody lists the Pentagon. No, I've never thought about that. Not a soul has ever. I didn't know that was an option to be honest with you.

Oh yeah, one of the E4s we were talking to earlier. We had an E4. This is his first assignment. Like he's fresh out of AIT. Wow. We shouldn't do that. You're like, what was his name again? Yeah, kind of. He's gone. Let's go on to the line. I'm sure the kid wants to be on the line. Just like we all want to be on the line. I'm sure he does. I did not know that. Was he medic or something? He did. Oh yeah? Okay. Okay.

"Here, he was!" You're writing a new memo in your head right now. "Exception of policy: 12 white claws and send this guy to the law." "To whoever that guy's mom is, sorry."

Mom, I got a safe job at the Pentagon. Imagine what a wild ride that would be as a parent. You send your 18-year-old child off to Army basic training and nine months later hits you up. Mom, I'm stationed at the Pentagon. Never mind. The retard showed up with microphones and now I'm not. Yeah, we would get to play. I imagine he wants to go to the line, right? Don't you guys think? What if you got orders to the Pentagon?

I was very confused. I laughed hysterically the entire time. Not that it's a bad place. We do a lot of good things here, okay? Holy moly. Sounds like being on the Pentagon, alright? We're doing a good job! If I ever get a time machine, I would go back in time to like in Congress or whoever decided the Pentagon and be like, just listen to that drunk conversation between world leaders. Hear me out! Instead of four walls, what if it had five walls?

Build it. Huge. That's actually a good fat electrician story. It was 14 months it took to build the Pentagon? Did it really? It's a big-ass building. It's a big-ass building. 14 months or 15 months. It was a super short time. I mean, to compare that to, like, building a government building now. It's so far from Mexico. You don't have good workers. That's what I was going to say. I was like, my people built this? At that time span. Yeah.

I'm always like, so I'm sitting here and every time Brandon speaks, I'm like, don't respond. That's been my favorite part. My favorite part of the podcast is watching everybody behind the cameras laughing.

Laugh and whoever's sitting right here. Just walk in Yeah, what's the saying there's pyramids in Mexico - nobody questions Yes, you've invented the complex geometric structure a pile I

Pentagon. Did you guys, did they hear about transformation in contact? No. All right. All right. Come on. Let's talk about that. How are we on time? No, we're good. All right. Okay. Okay. We're on your time. We weren't expecting you. That's why I was like, Oh, the spokesman is here. So great. Okay.

You probably shouldn't do this, folks, man. We're doing a great job. The white club man is here. The white club again. Air quotes. Okay. No. Transformation contact. Here's... So General George knows what we do at the Pentagon, right? And so we decided...

Instead of driving change from the Pentagon, right? Instead of us coming up with PowerPoint slides and telling the force, telling the rest of the Army, here's how it's going to be. Here's the equipment you're going to use. Here's how you're going to use it. So General George is being a line guy and what this future E4 will be doing.

Sent we said let's transform. Well, the stuff is out there and get bottom-up lessons learned right? So we're getting all the new equipment kind of some of the stuff you talked about all new equipment and A brigade at a time. We're sending it down this last brigade from Germany at 200 I think drones they had the new vehicles they had the new guns and You send it out down there and we're like here's some kind of loose parameters and

And then tell us how it works. Tell us, you know, how are you going to use it? How would you integrate in your formation? How does it work tactically in maneuver space?

And then we take those lessons. So bottom up, some of these drones are working a cold. Some of these drones are really good for this, but they're not good for that. Some of these robots are good for this, but not that. We take all those lessons. Then we put it in the Pentagon calculator. And then we start to make buying decisions and organization decisions based on that.

Bottom up, lessons learned. It seems like a normal thing to do, but it's not normal in Army or Pentagon way. Yeah, listening to the people who use the equipment. It's weird, right? Eli, how much did that happen when you were in? Do that, do that, do that. A lot. We got listened to quite a lot. So we're trying to do that. Actually, we are doing it. To your testament, it was...

him being able to film a video that fast with that turn and that was the first time and that was insane dude and it was like holy shit that is good change that is the change everyone would be happy to hear yeah it is look this got done quickly that is wild and now even what you're saying is like hey we're listening to the line yeah and it's actually going to be listened to really quickly at the top and you guys are

rolling out changes. We're trying. Which is wild. Yeah. I will say that when we had that dinner over in Austin that one night with General George, I didn't really know what to expect going in and just how the conversation was going to go. But you know, organizations like this, especially anything with government in it, you expect it to have a good bit of bureaucracy and whatnot. But I was really, I found it a very pleasant surprise that he reminded me more of someone who spoke like a business person.

than a bureaucrat. I was like, oh, thank God. He's been an awesome contact and I'm really enjoying seeing what he's doing. Thanks. There's still the bureaucracy, to be fair. We're still governed by all these laws and acquisitions policy and we're just banging our heads.

I'm going to send you a Never a War Crime the first time shirt. Just give me your address. Don't respond. Don't respond. It's like I already have one.

We take the Geneva Convention very seriously. I leaned into that. No, but the acquisition stuff. And so we're working with Congress, we're working with OSD and the bosses to try to change acquisitions process to make it faster and faster and faster. But the bottom line is General George, because he's honestly a soldier at heart. And I know I'm a spokesman. I know how this sounds. I believe it. And people do anyway. Yeah.

He thinks about these guys down in line and these gals down in line and getting stuff to them quickly and stuff that they can use. Not the big fielding of...

Stuff that we find out quickly. It doesn't work and unfortunately, we're locked in the buying it for the next seven years We're buying stuff in short increments and just faster and faster. So that was awesome But yeah and in hearing him and some of the stuff he was talking about with how they're changing acquisitions in general Yeah, so why are we buying something for 15 years? I don't know how much I can talk about but like why are we buying things that?

that are designed now that will be implemented in 15 years when in 15 years they'll be obsolete. That's the Pentagon acquisitions process governed by Congress. That's how it is. So we're trying to break that whole thing. And so far, we're making some progress. Because you have so much in Congress, like not to get on that soapbox, but you have so many people that are basically making decisions for America's warfighters based on, well, I need 200 jobs in Idaho.

When it's like, okay, I thought we just need to build the best equipment we possibly fucking can so our people can get really good at killing people. That's what I thought we were doing. But a lot of those, a lot of congressmen are like, well, I promised 30 steel jobs here and this, this, that. And like, so they're making decisions that aren't in the best interest of the army.

Not responding. So General George is pressing to make decisions that are best for the Army. And the only thing missing from that dinner, frankly, and missing from today is our Sergeant Major in the Army, Mike Weimer, you know, very good friend of mine for decades. Amazing. Just an amazing dude. And he's right there with General George. And, you know, everything's from the soldier's perspective with these guys. It's crazy.

it's great to be a part of. It's why I stayed in the Army, because I know these guys are trying to make this change. It is, and...

When you say, like, General George is a soldier of first and he cares. That is... This is Clint Romaché Medal of Honor recipient from... He's like, hey, it's George, that long-distance running machine. I'll always remember how he put his career on the line to take care of my guys. That's a Medal of Honor recipient praising the leadership that's in charge of everything, which is awesome. Fucking awesome. And then what we've seen on our end is, again, it's like that super fast... It's for the first time...

I was like, holy shit, this is wild. Oh, like when we have lunch and he's like, I love cutting through red tape. And you guys are big on that. You're like, we need to talk about like the... Yeah, yeah. I hear him say stuff like that and I think the same thing like I hear during the Doge stuff. I'm just like, whoo-hoo, like the giddy Ron Swanson. Like, oh yeah, let's just tear it all down. Let's make a difference in the right way. And now you got the 250th coming up, which you're putting on a huge...

Big time. Huge event for that one. Yeah, we're trying to. We're trying to take over all of D.C., get it broadcasted over all the venues, including YouTube, and just let all of America see what the Army's all about and really...

Build some pride, not only just in the army, but like use it to talk about America and the type of people that we freaking are, right? I mean, you know, this is a good freaking country with good people. God, Unsub's going to commentate the 250th anniversary. Yes. Can we? Yeah. Oh my God. We're the ringside commentators. Yeah.

Everybody except me, apparently. You know. They're like, we're not giving this guy a lot of heat. Yeah, you're CMA, homie. Yes. Civilian major of the army. Yeah. Eddie! Wear your uniform. Oh, God. Please wear your uniform and your hat and, like, all this stuff. Yeah. That's great. Can we go home? Dude, that'd be wild. I mean, we would be down to do...

I'll volunteer myself. I'm going to be like Joe Rogan sitting cage side. I'm going to be pumped. Yeah. Yeah. We had a hundred percent. Here comes JD Vance with a steel chair. Dude, that'd be amazing. Do you guys have any more planned for it as it leads up or is it still in the works? Um, it's in the works. It's in the works. So, um,

We're meeting with the White House on it, so they seem to be on board because, you know, to take over D.C. and that way we're going to need support from the White House. And we're talking to people...

Let me see how to say this. People are talking to the production people about how to give money to get this done, sponsorships and all that stuff. So it's coming along. I'm anxious, though, to actually see the plan and...

you know, know we're going to execute. We don't, we're not in a place where we know we're going to execute yet. We're almost there. The 250th anniversary of the army brought to you by Raytheon, Lockheed Martin. I think we're $20 trillion in debt to be second. Nah.

This is going to be the best Army birthday in any country ever. Oh, we are. I'm looking forward to it. Especially if we can get involved. You guys are involved already. Sergeant Major Herrera. Yeah, absolutely. Do you have a colonel calling you Sergeant Major Herrera? No.

Why did I agree to this, man? Vice Admiral, whatever. We're going to need the second exception form for that commentation. What was it like first meeting? You met Brandon and I at the one event, and then you stayed in contact a little bit, but then...

But then you started watching or is it your son that was super into that electrician? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, admittedly, like I was super pumped on it. And then the Iranian Navy episode. And so, of course, I'm like, hey, you got to check this out, son. And anyway, so I'm not a super fan.

My 15-year-old son is a 16-year-old son. If you were a pirate, would you keep your parrot on this shoulder or this shoulder? That's right. Oh, God. I like it on this one. Hairy armpits. Hairy armpits. Is that what you did to the people next to you on the plane? Maybe.

You came in dressed up, though. I know. This is my nicest tank top. No, but when we first saw you, you had a shirt on. He made me do it. Oh, okay. We talked. Eli made me. Yeah, you're coming through security with White Claw. Put a shirt on. Something like that.

I mean, I err on the other side where it's just like, if you be so ridiculous, there's a certain threshold where you're like, there's no way this guy's not telling the truth. Nobody has the balls to try to lie like this. That's kind of my mantra as well. Just kidding.

Says the PR guy. No, but she asked a question. So we had dinner in Austin. That was cool. And then it was just, what was that next step for you? Were you like, I'll actually listen to these guys maybe on some of the, or get involved? Because that was mind-blowing to all of us. Well, so I think there is a movement in the Army, and I should probably say across the DOD, to recognize that

you guys are talking to a lot of people and a lot of people, uh, not just the Americans that we care about, but a lot of people that we care about for recruiting and for support. And, um, there's, there's a need or it's dumb not to outreach. Right. And, you know, watch a couple episodes on subscribe and, and, uh, fat electrician and super excited to meet donut operator. Uh,

By the way, do you know about your... No, I didn't do that. That way you know it's legit. He just looked at you lovingly. I mean, it's kind of a big deal. Anyway, so... I'd love to have named everybody at this table. Except for the Admiral. I don't know.

You're like, yeah, I'm super excited for all you guys, and then there's the liability. We can edit it out, you know? Spokesperson for the Army is super excited to meet the guy that's notorious for breaking down shooting videos of... That's pretty cool. So... Where were we? So...

So anyway, we should do more of this. It's interesting, and I'm going to say this in a polite way because I think a lot of the guy, a lawyer, this was actually yesterday, that was helping us get this exception of policy signed for the White Clause, the 8 White Clause, said, hey, it's a podcast, so I need to do a legal review. And we got into a, not an argument, a professional discussion. I was like,

I don't do legal reviews for media things. That's up to our expertise. Well, it's a podcast, so...

Got to do a legal review. I was like, no, you don't. So... Don't start on an autism test. Or that one. Well, it demonstrates an institutional thing, right? So this guy who's got all good intentions and he's trying to protect the boss and the army.

He's thinking that because it's a podcast, it's a podcast. I'll stop doing that. I love it. He, he felt like there was some extra measure of legal review that we had to do. And, and there's just simply not, what was the justification? Well, there wasn't. So he was just because it was just a podcast. And I think he was thinking of it more in, in like an event type thing, because like if any of us are going to go attend an event, um,

for a non-federal entity there there should be a legal review right so we're spending taxpayer dollars to go i'm speaking in uniform and and there's got to be an ethics review that like these people aren't um charging 200 for to see me speak nobody would do that but to see general george speak or whatever so there's got to be an ethics review for those types of things and that's kind of how he was thinking of it just because it wasn't you know the new york times or traditional media and that was a discussion we had i said

You should judge this the same as you would judge NBC or whatever. This is a media outlet and we need to consider it that way. And so it's a new way of thinking. Not really, but we just got to drive it through the institution.

You're doing an amazing job. That's what's wild. Look at me. I'm the news now. Which is kind of funny. You joke around, but at the same time, we have this facade of we're just four idiots, which don't get me wrong, we are. But we still put such a heavy emphasis on mental health. Individuals who are in the military have been out of the military, giving them support, raising money for the autism charities, the veteran groups and stuff like that. Like,

Don't get me wrong. We're all just piling around having a good time, but we really do have a heavy focus on real stuff. I think that kind of is what sets that apart. This is the purpose of the community that was built. I would drink. I'm out also. But it was, hey, let's actually...

give back, help others for everything that they've given us. And then also just have fun and then let them be part of that. But for first it is the mission of like, Hey, let's help others first and foremost, help whoever we can, whether it's veterans, whether it's autism, special needs, it's like, Hey, let's just do that. That costs us time. That's it. But it makes a really big difference. And then it's all them also being able to help with that, which is awesome. Awesome. And now we get to talk to, uh,

like yourself, which is in places like this, which is wild. And then that's an awesome word for that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming. I mean, it's really cool that you guys came and this will be, uh,

I want to see the reaction across my community, like the folks that do this for a profession and then across the institution, like we're proving something here, something that can be done. Just like when you went to Fort Sill and I told my guys, let's get these guys across the Army and across America, all of our installations. You're welcome there. I can speak for General George and say, you're welcome to come out and

Just hang out or tape a podcast or whatever. We're going to do combat diving school. We're going to do that. What do you call it? Blacking out? He said, and I quote, I didn't really drown. My brain just had too much carbon monoxide in it. Carbon dioxide. And it was like sometimes the tunnel just gets closer and closer and closer. And then somebody picks you up out of the water.

I did. Shut up. Early in my time, I did a Discovery Channel Surviving the Cut. Is that what it was called? Yeah. I did an episode out in...

in Key West. Uh, I was, I was, uh, what a terrible assignment. It was terrible. I was a public affairs officer for this was forced to school. And then I, uh, went down to Key West and, and, uh, helped, you know, facilitate that. I'm not a diver. Uh, but that was a cool experience. Great cadre of dudes down there. And they're literally on an Island, but figuratively as well, just like by themselves out there, super professional. Um, and, uh,

Yeah, it wasn't a bad time to spend a couple weeks out there. Living the dream life. I wasn't diving. I'm just standing back behind the camera because that looks like it sucks. We ran the gamut on that. You got Fort Drum and Key West. I'll go ahead.

Not too hard of a choice. Oh, man. Cody, you want to close us out? Bye, everyone. Thank you for coming to the Unsubscribe podcast. I was joined today by Eli Doubletap, fat electrician. How should I introduce you? Dave Butler. Dave Butler. Brandon Herrera, myself, Donald Operator. We are at the Pentagon, and we love you all. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Can we find you anywhere? Your kid's going to be so jealous. Where do we find you?

Social? Army? We're US Army men? Well, if you're thinking about joining the Army, it's GoArmy.com and our regular social is at US Army. Thank you, Dan. And in 25 years, you could be right here. Being interviewed by us. Or if you start making videos on the internet, you could be here in three years. Just saying. Wait. It's better to join the Army. That's where you got to start. Yeah. No, I wouldn't be here if I didn't join the Army first, but you know.

What he said. Do that and then three years of stupid internet videos and then you get to sit next to this guy. Love you guys.