176 - How To Survive A Nuclear Explosion ft. The Fat Electrician | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 176
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How do you f*** up Star Wars? 15 minutes of Missionaire. 15 minutes. Everyone, Trout looks nice. Let's f***ing heckle him. It's a f***ing one-piece puzzle with one moving piece. Well, that's not how we do it with the choir boys, but you know, I guess it works. Damn! We're gonna see if that even makes it to Pepperbox. It won't.

I'm going back to Iowa. Yay. Vacation. I know. You just fly in and fly back home. It's perfect. That's the best job. The best job ever. You fly out there once a month. Yeah, it's horrible. Let me tell you. I got to fly out there, go on a four-day bender with my friends, and then go back home and tell my wife I was working.

Oh, the humanity. That's how mine is. This is how this starts. She takes it like a champ, though. She's like, God damn it. He's right. It is his job. That's how mine is. She's like, I know you're technically... It's real work, and it pays for everything, but God, you're just getting drunk with your friends. Like...

Do you know how hard that is on my body, babe? The sacrifices I'm making for my personal health. My liver hurts all the time. Cody's going to die in 10 years. We are sacrificing it all for you guys. I'm doing it for you, John. It's all for you, Damien. My blood hurts. It's not my fault I have the best job on the planet, damn it. It is, actually. We did that. That's it, Mr. Cody. Start her off.

Three, two, one.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by Mr. Eli Double Tap. The fat electrician is back in town. Brandon Herrera, donut operator myself. Thank you for joining us all today in our shenanigans. Hi, you beautiful people. How y'all doing out there? We got Nick back. Finally. Once a month. So if you guys didn't know this, we were just talking about it before we started. Nick comes into town and then we record like five podcasts in a row and then Nick leaves us.

But during that time, his job is to get drunk. The whole time. The whole time. We're going to keep that intro. So it's the wives going to watch it. I'm pretty sure they knew. Oh, this is not a secret.

You feel like I'm Clark Kent taking off the glasses. Like, yeah, bro, we know. Yeah, bro. Yeah, they haven't reviewed it. We know. Did you see the thing that, I think it was Henry Cavill that did it, the Superman thing in New York? Uh-uh. Where he, they were proving, because everybody made fun of the whole, like, you know, Superman's glasses, whatever. He literally stood, Henry Cavill stood under a giant poster in Times Square of Superman.

With his fucking face on it and just wore glasses and just stood there. Didn't he slunch his shoulders though? Just a smidge and then that's all. And no one, nobody got it. No one knew.

And then you feel like a fucking retard. You're like, all right. Damn, Clark Kent knew something. More realistically, nobody cared because it's a DC movie. Yeah, there's also that. Very true. They've had a hard run. Well, better than Disney right now. Disney's killing it. Oh, what do you mean? The Acolyte's some of the best cinema I've seen. I love it. It's at like 12% right now. It's fucking... I think it's finally over. Yeah, it just ended. Oh, yeah. Did you watch any of it? No. Oh, God, no. Just on Twitter.

The shit that posts up on Twitter is the only thing I've never been... The Critical Drinker. Yes. Oh, dude. I love his shit. And I never watched his stuff before that. Oh, really? No. Him and Nerd Roddick. He's funny as shit. I like his stuff. How do you fuck that up? With $170 million, I have no fucking clue. It's like starving to death at a buffet. It doesn't make any sense. How do you fuck up Star Wars?

You got space samurais and dudes that can't shoot. How do you fuck that up? There's like 800 books that are written. The community is basically like, those are pretty good. Just do any one of those. Just literally copy paste it to cinema. You will win. Instead, it's like, no. We're changing it all up.

What if they decanonized it and then did their own thing, but put a chick in it and made her gay and lame? Put a chick in it and make your beckon gay! What if we made this more digestible for the people that aren't going to watch it and already don't like it? Let's headbutt lightsabers. Let's cut our hair with lightsabers.

Let's force choke somebody for the first time ever. It is really bad. Oh, and lesbian space witches that can basically make the Skywalker saga not matter at all. At all. Hold on. I haven't watched it. I haven't watched since The Mandalorian. Is there actually lesbian space witches? I'm dead fucking serious. Yeah, that's a whole thing. They miraculously concepted the two twins. So now that Anakin doesn't matter anymore. Reality is getting so wild that the...

industry is just gonna start making about a loving husband and wife going home after a date night and having sex that's gotta be that's what's gonna be more unrealistic at this point it's gotta be a thing

It's just the basic dialogue. It's like, honey, I had some wine tonight. Would you like to have sex? Yes, I would. People are like, oh shit. Let's make a baby. Let's get it over. Timmy's got a soccer game in the morning. 15 minutes of missionary light kissing. 15 minutes. Oh, sorry. Two minutes. Two minutes. Oh, no. It got really...

Bad, but now it's over. $170 million gone, and I don't think... $170 million? Yeah. Oh, you didn't know that? No. The $170 million. If you watched the last fight sequence, it is abhorrent because they just didn't... One of the Jedi dudes does the Matrix kick. He does the...

part of it and they're using really bad wiring though so it looks really trashy i just hate that like so the actor this is what i really hate the the actor who's in squid game that's also an acolyte yep apparently learned english for the fucking role and oh yeah he has no he has a he's a parent that's what i read but it's like dude he because he just he loves star wars so much so he wanted to be a part of it and they they cast him in this garbage

You got collateraled on something that was not your fault. That's why you gotta have respect for Henry Cavill, though, ditching the Witcher because they're fucking ruining it. And he's like, I'm not partaking in this. I thought you meant learning English. No, I just meant actors acting in stuff they really care about. And he's like, you guys are ruining this. I fucking quit. Didn't they just cancel half of all the Witcher shit that they were doing on Netflix? So season three tanked. And that's when Henry Cavill, after reading that, he was like, no, this is like nothing Geralt would do. This isn't following the books at all.

Fucking what are we doing? And then he was just a sexist piece of shit, whatever it is. And then he's like, well, I'm not going to be in the next season. And I think they canceled. I think they canceled. Who was it? Which of the Hemsworth brothers? Liam was supposed to be the next Witcher and they might have canceled that one. I think they cut it short. I think they were going to like, we'll do it for seven seasons. They're like, how about one more? I'm so mad they didn't continue the Punisher series.

It was so good. Well, dude, they needed the budget for the Acolyte. Fucking Jesus. Why did they... It was... I forget why they canceled the... Because it was originally Netflix. Yeah, it was Netflix and it got bought out by Disney for all of the model shit. Disney's like, ah, this is incredibly successful and everybody loves it. Let's stop. Yeah. Let's have lesbian space women. No, they need a...

They need a female Punisher now who's black and crippled. And blind. Yeah, there you go. There's a wheelie. A shotgun goes off. She means business. It's like that meme of the black guy in the wheelchair with the flash. When they say flash is disabled on your iPhone. That's the one.

Oh, God. Nick, when's your next video? You got like Band of Beavers. Well, I did my cocaine hippos, but those fat files. I got a video coming out tomorrow. I didn't even watch the cocaine. It'll be up tonight on Pepperbox. What is it? It's about Operation Plumbob. Which one was that? So Operation Plumbob was in 1957. The United States government decided to just...

Fuck it. We ball in the desert with nuclear bombs just straight up dicking around like they were rednecks with fireworks. Why can't my tax money go to that anymore? Bro, it was unhinged, the shit they did. Okay, so like they're just blowing up nukes in the desert, right?

nuking shit. They're like, give me 1,200 pigs! Cover half of them in burlap. I want to see if burlap stops radiation. Just blowing pigs up. For no fucking... I don't think they know burlap. It wasn't burlap. They're testing different materials and they're like, oh, we want to know if...

Buildings stop nuclear bomb. I want to know if you're inside a refrigerator, if you'll survive a nuclear explosion. So shit like that. And then finally, this is also 1957, right? Like 45, the world found out about nukes. Then 49, a bunch of American communist sympathizing...

Scientists gave the technology to the USSR. They got nukes, right? So by 57, everybody knows what nukes are. That's where they have like the black and white educational videos. There's that little fucking...

cartoon turtle telling the kids, remember kids, what do you do when you see the flash? Duck and cover. You know, telling kids that hiding underneath the fucking school desk is going to save them from a nuke. It's fine, right? Pit Boys, what Pit Boys based off of? Exactly. Like, it's what Fallout's based off of. It's this era, the Atomic Age, and they fucking...

So everybody knows about it, and they're like, okay, well, you guys are just detonating nukes out. Maybe it's not a good idea to put, you know, a fuck ton of radiation in the atmosphere. And the government's like, nah, it's fine. We have no evidence to prove that it would hurt anybody. It's like, well, yeah, you're also not looking for evidence, dickhead. Weird. Weird.

They're like, no, no, it's fine. Watch, watch this. Give me five volunteers and a camera guy. Don't tell the camera guy what he's doing. And they had five fucking army dudes that volunteered to stand underneath a nuclear bomb as it went off. Probably privates underneath. No, they were like Lieutenant colonels. So you ever heard of the genie air to air missile?

So the genie air-to-air missile, you've got to remember, 1957. There's no intercontinental ICBMs yet, right? Not until my age. So the only real threat of nuclear war would be if the Soviet Union sent bombers and planes over, right? So they're like, well, how are we going to handle all these planes? Because we don't have air-to-air missiles that are accurate yet. They're just going to shoot a missile at it. We don't have whatever. They're like –

What if we shot a nuke at all their planes that had fucking nukes and just blew up all their planes first, right? I mean, it makes sense if you don't think about it. Like, you're flying a plane forward. All of a sudden, America spawns the fucking sun in front of you. What are you going to do? So that's what the Genie air-to-air missile is. It's a nuke that's just meant to take out all the Soviet planes, right?

And, uh, yeah. On modern day, we call that an EMP. So they blew that up at 18,000 feet. So about three miles above these guys' heads. And it's on video. Wait, were they under? What were they under? Nothing. Wait, this is just in the fucking open? It's five motherfuckers in the desert in their class Bs with a fucking sign that says ground zero population five. And they're looking up like, and then there's a flash. And then they're like, stop.

We lived! And then they shake hands and start lighting cigars and they fucking dip. They didn't even tell the camera guy what he was doing that day. Cameraman was just... George! George! Why do you have a sign that says ground zero? Bro, the funny thing is they didn't even count him because there was five volunteers and he was the sixth. They're like, fuck that. He's a camera guy. He always lives. Fuck him. Jesus. So they're like...

His name was Giorgio Shittake. I think he was actually... He was Japanese. Yeah, he lived... He lived in a... He lived in a Japanese internment camp during World War II, I think. That's where he grew up or he was born. So he loved trusting the government. They didn't even tell him because he was like... He was...

He filmed a bunch of other nuclear tests and usually it's like, hey, we're going to go 10 miles that way and fucking record off a tripod. And then he shows up and they're like, okay, so we're going to drop it on top of you today. Fucking excuse me.

Hey, Tokyo, come here. Little Samson catcher up there. I know they were racist as shit to that kid too. So yeah, they dropped, they detonated a nuke right over the top of five people. Film the entire thing. It's in my video. You can also just Google it. They have footage of these five guys just getting a nuke detonated right over the top of them.

And then they live. That is. Yeah, they lived. They were all I think the earliest any of them died was 71. Damn. Okay. Because radiation up there probably. I mean, it would have made it to him. But I mean, nuclear radiation like they were there. They were exposed to it for like 10 minutes. Yeah. So they did really quick, too. So they were they were fine. And then that's some balls. And then after that, they're like, you know.

I still don't trust it. So the government's like, fucking fine. We'll quit blowing up nukes on the ground and in the atmosphere and under the ocean. We're going to start doing it in the ground. And then we made hydrogen bombs. They're fine again. They dug a 500-foot hole and they blew up a nuke underground because what would go wrong? What North Korea does now. I'm not a fucking scientist, but if you had to pick between lighting a firecracker...

On your hand or making a fist around it. Congratulations. Well, that's right on the Arizona fault line. There isn't one. Not yet. So, yeah, they tested it on a 500 foot hole and they're like they weren't trying to blow up a nuke. But because they were planning on shooting nukes with bombs to shoot down the planes. Right. They're like, well, we need to know if the safety precautions in a nuke will withstand to getting blown up.

Right. So like, so we're going to take a nuke. We're going to put it in this 500 foot hole and we're going to put a regular bomb down there too. And we're going to blow up the regular bomb. And in theory, the nuclear safeties will stop the nuke from going off and it'll just be the regular bomb. So they're like only one way to find out. So they fucking put the nuke down there, put the bomb down there, blew it up.

Nuke went off too. He shot blue flames 800 feet into the air. Wait, is that the manhole one? Yeah. So then the second one, they're like, oh.

We should try it again. I was just thinking if it didn't go off. Imagine being the fucking guy who's got to go retrieve it. They just put Kevlar on him. He's like... At that point, you're just like, you know what? I'm going to be comfortable at least. Here's your safety glasses. Like, fuck. Osha's like, wait, wait, wait. So then the second one, they...

PT Bell. They're like, well, all right. Maybe we should try to contain him a little bit more. So they did. They put another nuke down there. This time they put five feet of concrete on top of it, like three to four thousand pounds of concrete.

And then, 500 feet up, then they put a 2,000 pound manhole cover over the top of it and welded it shut. 2,000 pound? Okay, this is a giant fight. This is not like a manhole cover. All the other YouTubers and memes and shit make you think, oh, you put like a fucking Ninja Turtle manhole. No, it's a 2,000 pound, four inch thick manhole cover.

They should have put a normal one too. And then they put a high-speed camera on it because, and I quote, according to Robert Brownlee, the head scientist, it was scientifically interesting. He's like, this is going to be cool. He's not wrong. They detonated it, and the manhole cover was – so the camera, I think it was one frame per millisecond. So 1,000 frames a second. It captured the manhole cover in one frame. Wow.

So we can't calculate how fast it was moving. We can only calculate the minimum speed it would have had to have been moving to only be caught in one frame. And that was 150,000 miles an hour. And how much did it weigh? 2,000 pounds. It would have cleared the atmosphere in a second. Thank God we didn't have a space station at that point. There's a really strong argument that that manhole cover is actually the first man-made object in outer space.

Well, I mean, it's still going, right? Oh, for sure. Once it broke atmosphere, it does not slow down after that. That is going to be like fucking like Nebulas 5 9-11. Yeah, yeah. It's going to hit some peaceful alien planet and they're going to get pissed off and come kill us all. It's going to hit Buenos Aires. Yeah. It turns around. This is what starts the war with the bugs. Oh, by the way, my favorite theory about that in Starship Troopers is you remember the scene where...

I don't know, the chick that he was dating, the Air Force chick that wanted to be a pilot. Cameron Diaz. Yeah. Was it Cameron Diaz? There's Dizzy and Cameron. I saw the most accurate meme on the planet, and it was the two girls. It was his high school girlfriend and then the redhead. And it was like, boys think the first girlfriend was better. Men. Men.

no, this girlfriend was better. And I was like, damn, that's accurate. Some of the first titties I've ever seen, man. Yep. Right. They were, they were great. OG titties. But the, the scene where she, Oh God, the, the scene where she's like avoiding the asteroid in the very beginning, people point out that was the meteor. And because she skimmed it in space, uh,

thousands and thousands of miles away. She was the one who redirected the fucking asteroid, started the entire war in the first place because she was too cocky. You literally nuked Buenos Aires and started a fucking giant global war. I did not see that. Just because of empowerment.

She was the box cutter. I'm going to go back to the manhole cover. Then we're going to go back to structure. I'm sorry. So like a lot of people on the internet are going to get super fucking butthurt already because like it, they think the manhole cover burned up in the atmosphere a, because they didn't Google it and they think it's a normal manhole cover. It's not, it was 2000 pounds. And then they're like, well, meteorites always burn up in the atmosphere. It's like, well, yeah. Meteorites also aren't made out of 2000 pounds of refined fucking steel. Yeah.

B, they're not moving at Mach 197. And C, meteorites also don't always burn up in the atmosphere. Yeah, they impact Earth all the time. Yeah, like fucking tell the dinosaurs that. Anybody. I don't think anybody can. It's a good chance we beat the Russians in outer space with a manhole cover on accident because we turned the planet into a fucking... Oh, so here's the best part.

The reason that it shot the manhole cover up at the speed that it did was because the nuke was inside of a sealed compartment, right? And it turns out that when you detonate a nuke with 4,000 pounds of concrete directly on top of it, vaporizes the concrete instantly. And the gas of the concrete gets superheated instantly.

and the superheated gas expands, they turn the Earth into a fucking potato gun and heated this manhole cover into outer space. Holy shit. That's awesome. And then hundreds of thousands of people got cancer. All right, so back to Dizzy's tits. Now, how many people did it? Everyone except Boogie. Oh, man.

No, that's the worst part of the story. So they had 18,000 soldiers that were just, like, in trenches while they were detonated nukes, like, from a mile away because they just wanted to, like...

Walk towards it. They literally walk towards it. It's on video. Like the way it passed. Now walk towards the nuke. Like all those fucking dudes got cancer. And then those were privates. All the towns that were within like hundreds of miles because they were launching radiation straight up into the atmosphere in the beginning. They were just getting fucking because nuclear radiation dissipates after like 48 hours. Like it decays.

But you're supposed to go inside and hide for that 48 hours. And they detonated over a thousand nuclear warheads between like the 1940s to the 1980s. So like these towns that were close by, like they just kept getting exposed to radiation over and over and over again. And they never fucking told them. So all these people ended up having like really highly elevated levels of leukemia and thyroid cancer. And they finally passed in the what the fuck is it called?

It's like the Radiation Compensation Act, and they passed it in 1990. If you were a soldier, you could get 75 grand one-time lump sum, and if you were a civilian nearby, you could get 50 grand one-time lump sum. This is 40 years later, which is hilarious. 40 years later, if you were still alive and you could prove it.

Then, all right, we'll give you 50 grand and you can fuck off. Also worth pointing out, the government only gets money from taking it from you anyways. So the government took your money, used it to poison you, and then paid you off with your own fucking money. Go fuck yourself. Here's a Camaro. Yeah. After 40 years. Eat a dick. Like, I fucking hate everything. That's also one of the crazier stats, too, because a lot of people don't know how many nukes have been set off. Some people think like, oh, well, two. Like, well, yeah, we used two on Japan. Yeah.

But like in nuclear testing, it's like, okay, maybe what? Like a dozen, two dozen? It's like, no. Thousands. In all of human history, I think it's like 2,000 nukes. Yeah, for sure. America's over 1,000 by itself, plus the USSR had a ton of testing. Yeah. And it's like... And the nukes that were used in Japan with all that destruction, that was 18 kilotons versus the largest one ever was 50 megatons, and that's the SAR. And the stark difference between those two explosions...

Massive. Fucking massive. I think they said the Tsar Bomba was like, if you look at a map of Russia, it was like as far away from anybody as you can get up in Siberia. And when they detonated it, there was windows that broke like in Poland. Yep. Yeah. Like it was insane. The Shanka or something? I'm not sure of the city. I do know that. I remember that. It was a weird. The first nuke that went off, they didn't think it was going to go off and they'd never dropped. They'd never detonated a nuke underground. Yeah.

It was supposed to be a one kilogram explosion. It ended up being a 1.7 kiloton explosion. So it's about 50,000 times bigger than they were anticipating. Apparently seismic equipment from all over the globe could sense that nuke going off underground. Uh-oh. That's one of my favorite bits. All of America is looking at their seismic charts and shit like that. They're like, so Russia's got one. Yeah.

Either that or the earth just randomly did that, but yeah, we're pretty sure. Russia has one, we think. Hey Eli! Whatcha doing?

You're just filing taxes. Well, that's not what my taxes look like, but either way, I'm here to talk to you about ExpressVPN. Why are you here? Oh, I see you're using incognito mode. Did you know incognito mode won't hide what kind of taxes you're filing? What do you mean? It doesn't matter what mode you use or how many times you clear your browsing history. Your internet service provider can still see every website you've ever visited.

Do you want people to know these are the kinds of taxes you're filing, Eli? Wait, are you in my house? What makes you ask that?

Gesundheit! It doesn't matter if you get your internet through Verizon or AT&T or your local internet service provider. In the US, internet service providers can legally sell your information to ad companies. Leave me alone! Were the taxes I sent you not good enough for you, Eli? I don't want to see your taxes. Just visit the link at expressvpn.com/unsub and you can get three months free on a one-year package.

That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash unsub. Protect your online activity today with the VPN rated number one by CNET and Mashable. That's ExpressVPN.com slash unsub to learn more. There was that asteroid in the 1800s or 1918 or 1970, the one meteor that came in and did the...

got superheated, exploded, and did, well, like nine megatons or 12 megatons over a forest and a part of a city and flattened it. And we had no idea at that time. Because it was just remote as fuck. Yeah, and nukes weren't, like, they didn't exist. So you just had this meteorite come in, explode into the megatons. And again, we didn't hit that until the 1960s and bombs. And it just, no one knew what the fuck happened. Damn, nature, you scary. Yeah, yeah. We want to get upset.

I always. So America. So the USSR basically got given all the information on how to build a nuke by communist sympathizing American scientists. And like the main guy responsible is this dude by the name of Klaus Fox. Swear to God, that's his name. But he looks like this. And you're just like, yeah, I can see you being communist sympathizer. Yeah, he looks like the fucking guy who went after Wendigoon.

He definitely runs up shadow rest. He's the one on that podcast that shit talks us, right? He has a punchable face. Backpiphingishgeist. Backpiphingishgeist. Tungunsk event. Large explosion in 1908 between 3 to 50 megatons. Jesus Christ. When is that? 1908. Dude, it just... There was just a forest with nothing existing anymore. They're like, uh...

So what happened here? And at that time, 1908, you have no fucking clue. It's just something came in the sky, exploded and destroyed everything. I wish I had squirrels. I wish I had read up on it before this podcast, but there was an event in world war one where the British had undermined the German position for like years. They spent digging a tunnel underneath the German position and just ferrying gunpowder into it and blew it up all at once. And it was like,

an insane amount of gunpowder in this explosion. It ended up killing like 10,000 German soldiers all at once. What was that? The Battle of Petersburg in the Civil War was the same thing. Yes. Where they did a giant fucking powder charge underground and tried to detonate it and blow up the enemy army. Did it blow up like the enemy army? I don't remember. So that was one. My Civil War history, I used to be really, really into that time period for like history shit, but I kind of, I'm a little rusty on it.

Which is a most gangster military. That's like going to Iraq and we like see a neighborhood and we're like, okay, we're going to tunnel. We're going to plant a bunch of C4 under that little block. It's also, it was called the Petersburg crater. It's just worse than like World War I because it's like, all right,

We're just holding the line. You guys hold this line. Hey, Eli, hold the line for three years while I dig this trench. Like, you know, the level of confidence I got to have in Eli for three years while I dig a tunnel. I'm not going to see you in three years. I'm going to come out. You're going to look different. I'm going to look different. You done, bro? Yeah, it's done.

Wait, Trout. Are you going on a date? Jesus Christ. What's wrong with you? You're a substitute teacher. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. He's going to go upstairs and change after he got to look nice. You were wearing a Budweiser cutoff and something in your brain went, you know what Nick would like more if I went and got my checkered button up. He's just trying to impress you. He impressed me more before.

You just have to be who you are. You want to hang out with this friend group? You dress nice, we bully. One of the biggest things Cody addressed me with yesterday on the podcast was, fuck you, Trout.

So what actually happened on the Petersburg thing. So after weeks of preparation, July 30th, it was Union forces trying to do it to blow up Confederates. They said they were trying to blow a gap in Confederate defenses in Petersburg. Instead of being a decisive advantage to the Union, this precipitated in a rapid deterioration in the Union position. Unit after unit charged into and around the crater where most of the soldiers milled in confusion at the bottom of the crater. Grant considered this failed assault as, quote, the saddest affair I have witnessed in this war.

Yeah, they like got a fucking three to one KD on that one. They didn't do well. Whoops. Yeah, it was a cool idea on paper. That poor guy. It was like, it's gonna work. A lot of men have died for somebody saying it was a cool idea on paper. Yeah. There's a lot of directions for that joke. A lot of people's last words. We can all agree the masks were a good idea. Yeah.

I can't see out this thing. Man, fuck y'all. She worked hard on it. Don't ask me or mine for nothing. This is one of the greatest movie scenes ever. Completely irrelevant to the movie, too. It's so funny, though. It's as it should be. We just watched Sav put on Inglourious Bastards two days ago. And I forgot just how good it is until you watch it. The speaking, like...

it's how he writes dialogue and the interactions in the bear scene just how violent all that is the realest scene in that whole movie is like you'll be shot for this nah more like chewed out and i've been chewed out before i've been chewed out before the best scene on the planet i've been chewed out before go or lami ariba dirt check bonjour no yeah you're gonna take that nazi uniform off and that's what i was thinking

Hitler's looking fucking perfect. Man, we are just tickled to death to hear you say that. It's so good. It's such a good movie. And he has one more movie coming out to complete his. Has he decided what it is yet? I don't believe so. Because he wanted to do 10, right? Yeah. And that's his 10th, right? Yes. Number nine was. Hopefully. It's got to be another Kill Bill, doesn't it?

No, you had just three. And then... Because Once Upon a Time was not that great. I'm sorry. I haven't watched it yet. It's not good. I liked it. It was okay. I didn't like... It wasn't... I didn't love it, but it was... I didn't know it was about the Manson murders. The only good parts are when... Nobody did until you did. Yeah, that's... I was like, well, that would have been kind of cool. Nobody did until they were outside in a van. And then I looked over at my wife and I was like, this is about fucking Manson murders. And she's like, how do you know that? I was like, I just know this part of the story. Like...

It's about to get violent. The best parts of it are when Brad Pitt's in it, honestly. And that's only like 15 minutes of the entire two and a half hour movie. What? I thought Brad Pitt was a major character. He was like the side character. It's like the side character whose story is more interesting than the whole fucking movie. Yeah. See, I didn't know any of that. It's the only one I haven't watched. The rest is just Leo going through a very meta...

Yeah. Fucking collapse as like a fading star. It's literally like, what if Leonardo DiCaprio was born in 1930? That's the whole movie. I'll have to watch it. It's got some good one-liners in it. The whole, the Bruce Lee thing is like, my hands are lethal weapons. I kill someone in an accident. I go to jail for manslaughter. Like, yeah, everybody does that. That's a Brad Pitt scene. Oh, yeah. Brad Pitt, he owned a good part. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, anybody kills somebody on accident and they go to jail. It's called manslaughter. Apparently Bruce Lee's family was actually mad at the movie about that. That's what I heard. Because they thought that it was like shit-talking Bruce Lee to say that some random army veteran could go toe-to-toe with them or whatever. They were pretty upset. And that, I know...

oh my god the director's name just left my brain tarantino tarantino he was paying homage to bruce lee because he loves those style movies he's like no it's not about that it was the daughter that got super pissed about it all it's like my dad would have taken that guy it's like it's maybe calm the fuck down the manson people get murdered viciously in this one it's parody just like when you dress up like a nazi in something oh i had a question for you guys answer

Okay, here's a question. You get two celebrities to bring on Unsub. What are the two celebrities that you would pick? At the same time? No, it doesn't have to be the same time. Because I can get fun. No, just one episode. One episode at a time. You get two celebrities that you could bring on to Unsub. It's the four hosts and that celebrity. You get two picks. Who are your two? I'm going to go with Post Malone for one of them. Okay. Post Malone's a good one.

Oh, man. Shane Gillis would be cool, too. Shane Gillis would be great. I feel like we can get Shane. I feel like that's possible. Very much possible. This is like pie in the sky. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds. I would love to have Ryan Reynolds on. Those two right there. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds, Ted McAville. Those two. Oh, man.

Is this where we tell our people to go out and bully them on their socials? Yes. This is what I'm doing. Hey, welcome, guys. Make sure you go. This is what I'm secretly doing, yeah. All right. You come back to me. I got to think about this one a little bit more. Ryan Reynolds is on there. I would do big H, Tom Cruise.

Yeah, that'd be good. Tom Cruise would be a good one. Dude, Tom Cruise. I would not know him. Tom Cruise in the middle. I'm like, hi, Tom Cruise. Welcome, Tom Cruise. Subscribe, Tom Cruise. So what the fuck is the deal about Scientology? We're all in Scientology by the end of it. He's like sleeper best podcast ever, I feel like. I feel like he's actually super fun to go drinking with. Dude, you watch his interactions or how people speak about him on set. Everybody loves him.

Apparently, I think it's Tom Cruise where if you work with Tom Cruise, you get a birthday cake for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life. Tom Hanks actually brought it on. What's the Good Mythical Morning, the other show where they cook?

Tom Hanks brought the Tom Cruise cake to eat for one of the meals. And he explained it. He's like, as long as you've ever worked with Tom Cruise a single time, you will always have a birthday cake. Like, what do you mean work with? Like, cast and crew? Yes. No shit. And these are apparently the best. How much does this guy spend on cake? Yeah. How much is he worth? Still, it's kind of crazy when you look at the end of your bank statement, you got a fucking $300,000 cake bill. So, yeah.

my two my first one is directly my first one I picked and then I thought about it and it only got better because Cody's here my first one was my favorite no my favorite rapper of all time the game Ice Cube

I would love to have a podcast with Ice Cube, the man that popularized the phrase, fuck the police and donut operator. We got that thumbnail already. I'm just glaring the whole time. Trying to find my service weapon the entire time.

I think I'd pick Shaq for my second one. Shaq's hilarious. He didn't come to our fucking buyback. Shaq or Charles Barkley. Shaq would come to Ranch Day. Charles Barkley? With them big old women in San Antonio? Charles Barkley would be a fucking blast.

Those are two really good ones, though. Chris Pratt is my other one. Oh, Chris Pratt would be a really good one. I feel like we might could get him. I think you got... I feel like we've got a chance. Belittle him again for his outfit, though, since he's a nice friend. Yeah, I appreciate the accountant giving me a fucking break. Can I...

A button-up shirt with long sleeves and a big f***ing T-shirt. A button-up doesn't count when it smells like cigarettes. Watch this. There's no way a guy with a button-up shirt can get me a bush or a bush light.

See, I told you. Everyone, Trout looks nice. Let's fucking heckle him. Can I have whatever we have to drink? And hard cuts to us punching Trout on the ground. Fucking nerd. He's like, what did I do? I was trying to impress you guys.

What the fuck is that? Is it an IPA? No, I don't like beer that tastes like shit. Thank you. Thank you. I hate IPAs. I don't like IPAs either. I don't mind craft beer if it's like a porter or a red or whatever. I don't like sours either. I just like... I like sours.

I just don't like beers that are sour. I'm not a big beer drinker, to be honest. Nah. I wake up fucking swollen. I'm old. I'm already allergic to gluten, so my hair... Legend has it that being a beer drinker is worth 419 extra votes. That's...

407 would have done it. It would have been enough. So now the community has to go. It took me a second. I was like, aw. Community. Every time Eli says community, you got to take a drink. I forget when I made that a game, but yeah. We were drunk probably. Probably. No.

Now go bully them into actually being on the podcast. If you go and just tag it on IG, Twitter, and everything, it's a great idea. I changed my answer. Chris Pratt, I feel like we could probably get organically. I mean, we got Jack Carr. He's a gun guy. I feel like we could get him. I changed my answer. Elon Musk. I'm optimistic we could get Ice Cube. I would love to get Ice Cube. Bro, Ice Cube would be so cool to get on.

Cody's not on that episode. I know he probably look at her episode. I'm gonna be fine guys on there. Fuck. No, like you should talk to her two hours. So dude, have you heard ice cubes? Him and God ice cube comes out with like one song a year now, but he just came out with another song with dub C and Snoop Dogg. It's so good.

So good. I didn't even know he was still making music. He is. It's fantastic. Oh, God. It's so much better than anything else right now for rap. Well, I mean, that's not very hard. I know. But still, he's like 57. He's out rapping all the kids. Yeah. I mean, shit. Donald Trump's out rapping the kids now. Do you see that AI cover of Many Men? That's true.

I didn't think I needed to hear him say, but here we are. We're going to see if that even makes it to Pepperbox. It won't. Or it will. Or it won't. Strategic covering of my mouth with the microphone. Hey, they made Donald Trump say it through AI. You could do the same with me. Chase is like,

Oh, shit. Speaking of AI being scary. Terrifying. No, I'm sorry. I'm drunk and I'm spacing out on his name. Who's the... Chad GTP. No, the Marine that we bring out to all the different things. Chad GTP. No. GTP? Influencer, Marine. Zach? No, like news type shit. Oh.

like more generalized news type things. He does a lot of shorts. He's big on Tik TOK. Um, gray hair. Oh shit. Uh, Dunlap. Okay. Kagan Dunlap. He had a, he had a short come out the other day where it was like they, somebody used AI to,

to fake him supporting some scam to like scam military members you're shitting me no he is it was and it looked real like holy scam he's gonna get oh i never thought about that did you see the real history and it was framed as an ad of him being like yeah these guys help you get better benefits and blah blah blah blah and he's like that i did not fucking do that that's ai it's

horrifying did you did you see the mr beast one that happened like a year ago no that's oh my god i didn't even think it was literally like it was hey i'm i'm jimmy from mr beast i'm letting you says name like letting you know that you just won our giveaway for a ten thousand dollar blah blah blah blah blah like it was a you know a scam but it was seriously like a somewhat passable video of jimmy giving like a giveaway announcement dude old people are fucked yeah

they're gonna it's gonna be like like a quiet place for them or bird box you just can't go on the internet don't go outside speaking of old people i accidentally became really elitist the other day against them or for them against them against i just against people voting period on accident i just don't want them driving well i was at i was at verizon and i was like i had a problem with my phone like a real problem

Like it wasn't connecting to 5G at all. And I went in and they were like helping me. And it was like, it was later in the day. It was me and some other dude in like a high-vis dirty shirt that you could tell just got off of this construction job. And we were all just kind of like bullshitting while they were fixing our problems. And this older woman comes in, older white woman, probably 20.

Late 60s, early 70s. Big glasses. And she walks in with a power strip, like the full fucking power strip with the toggle switch that you plug into the wall. You get seven more plugins. She walks in with that. It's already exciting. And a phone charger. And I'm just looking. I'm fucking... I'm engaged. I'm locked in. I'm like something dope is about to happen right now. Oh, shit. I'm looking. I'm looking.

You just tell the other guy to shut the fuck up. She walks up to the third not Verizon person working and she goes, I have a question for you. And I go, this is going to be good. Like militant like that? Oh, yeah. She's like, this charger you guys sold me doesn't work. That's not a question, man. She's got the charger and a fucking surge protector in her hand. And he goes, what do you mean? Like you plug it in and it doesn't charge your phone? And she goes, no, it doesn't plug in.

And he goes, what do you mean? And she goes, and you know how the charging blocks for cell phones, the prongs fold in now. I swear to God, the Verizon worker goes, oh, and folds out the fucking prongs and plugs it in for her. And she goes, thanks. And walks out and it's dead quiet for seven years. It was probably five seconds, but it felt like seven years of my life.

And I just go, "Is nobody gonna fucking talk about how stupid that woman is?" And they all just start laughing. She used to vote, and it counts for as much as mine does. She just didn't fold out the line. She didn't know how to- It's a fucking one-piece puzzle with one moving piece. It moves this fucking far, she can't figure it out. And it's visible, you can see it. I'm more impressed she brought the fucking- She got in a 3,000 pound vehicle.

That burns liquid dinosaur to create a fucking explosive reaction to shove a piston into a camshaft to move wheels down a road that was paved to not know how to plug in a fucking phone block. And she gets to vote.

I've been having an existential crisis about this for like the past four days. To be fair, about 110 years ago, that wasn't the case. Fucking NPC, dude. I'm not saying it was a mistake, but... Oh my god, damn. Fintame now. It's like, what the fuck? Old people will straight up walk into a cell phone store and be like, my Facebook's broken.

Okay. And they'll like go at it and they'll be like, yeah, I got a new phone and now my Facebook doesn't work. Have you done? You're not logged in. I don't know what that means.

You don't know your own login to Facebook? Did your grandson do it? Well, I can't help you. What do you mean you can't help me? You're the cell phone people and Facebook is on the cell phone. Why don't you know my login to Facebook? And they get fucking pissed at the cell phone workers. That happens all the fucking time. People would be... I would help them out depending if I was going to make some fucking money. And I would have recurring customers who, you know, if I sold their family...

you know, $3,000 worth of phones. Maybe I would be half inclined to help them get the shit set up. But yeah, people would come in. These boomers would come in all the time. What's my password? And yeah, they would, they would genuinely be like, what's my password? And I'm like, I don't fucking know, sir. What is the purpose of a password? It's so I don't know it. It's a wonderful experience. I loved every minute of it.

Fucking old people and technology. I know there's no... They don't watch the podcast, so we're good. Yeah, no. They're the only ones I get truly mad at on the road. Like, truly mad. And that is the only time you'll see true anger in Eli is those...

We had one yesterday in the roundabout. I pull up to the roundabout because old lady is going through roundabout. What does she do when she comes to my vehicle? Stops to let me go.

Well that's polite. No. No. No. Same thing. I know where he's going with this. If you try to be polite at a stop sign, you're a dickhead. Fuck you. Just go in order. I hate that shit so much. Thank you. You fucked the whole system up. We go in a rotation. This is law and order.

Law and order! You try and be polite, let somebody go, you f*** everything up. Roundabout, you cause accidents. I'll go the other way on that one, too. It's the people who also, like, I'd rather somebody be too polite at a stop sign than the people who had, like, outside my neighborhood the other f***ing day, this little dick bag scooted behind the guy, like, to go, like, it was a four-way stop, and he scooted in behind the dude, like, going two at a time. No, not me.

I chased him down and I shot him. Not your, wait your fucking turn. That's the only thing that separates us from the apes. Road rage is my only time I get fucked. Saved is not like riding with me because I am very aggressive driver if you were a bad driver, which naturally everyone but me is a bad driver.

So you're just on the freeway yelling. Depends on the day. You're just yelling at people in the slow lane. I'm like, I know I'm going to pass this old person going 68 in the 75 and I'm going to look at them. I'm going to fucking make contact with them. I'm going to flip them off as I drive by and then I'm going to get as close as possible to...

because I know my vehicle and I know how to cut something off without fucking my car. Mark, I believe that Chinaman made a gesture. Those goddamn Asians don't know how to drive. Eli, have you heard about Raycon's everyday E25 earbuds? Eli! Eli! You must have had the noise cancellation on. I did. I couldn't hear anything. Just like I wish I couldn't feel anything.

Oh, you mean these ones? Yeah. And I also thought, whoa, those are the same audio quality as the big guys, but for half the price. But if you haven't pulled the trigger on these little guys, do it. Plus they have a 32 hour battery life, meaning your days of raw dogging flights are over. And 10 minutes of charging yields you 90 minutes of battery. Wait, it has a quick charge function? That's what I just f***ed.

Also, Raycon just launched their updated models of the everyday earbuds, weatherproof and or sweat resistant. I actually use these over anything else just because they're tiny. Every freaking gym session. I use mine for everyday chores. Like ignoring the SWAT team at my door. Their upgraded model will

♪♪

I'm like, wow. Are you talking about armor or what? Yes. He was jousting. We were...

You know, I consider myself, you know, there's a lot of people on the Internet think like I'm full of hate and all this other stuff because, you know, they're gay. But I mean, I'm like, I consider myself a genuinely like pretty laissez faire guy. Not a lot. It takes a lot to really get me going. I never get mad. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You're going to hit me. Yeah. Not this time. Not this time. But no, like that. I didn't used to road rage until fucking San Antonio.

In San Antonio, like, I probably yell in my truck at least twice a week. It's not that bad here because people, generally speaking, are going fast and they're reckless. I went home for, like, five days back to Indiana, and holy fuck.

shit i forgot what it's like when people drive 10 under the speed limit so like the roads around here like the one to get into the neighborhood the speed limit's what like 55 because it's that's relatively it's like a suburb texas for the most part is trying to say ever the cops if you're going like 85 cops like 90 and he's like what the fuck i was i was actually gonna bring this up because i did this today i was like i finally found the one thing that is more crazy about texas than iowa because like

I don't know. I'm not going to lie. I came here and I was like, this is not that big of a deal. Your gun laws aren't as cool as Iowa's. It's not nearly as crazy as I thought it would be, except for the speed limits. The speed limits here are fucking wild. I was on the frontage road going to Bunker Branding, and I was like, I'm like 30 feet from people's front doors, and I was going 45, and I was like, I should probably

Slow down a little bit. And then a stop. And then a speed limit sign is like, the speed limit's 55. Oh, I'm going 10 under. It was wild. This is the grossest. The road back from Demolition Ranch, dude, the speed limit's 55, and there are turns on that where if you're going 55, you're like...

Every time I go around, this is how I'm going to die. I'm predicting my death on air, live to them. Uh,

I will die in a head-on collision in that sharp turn on the way to Matt's ranch with an Amazon truck. Every single fucking time I go around that bend without fail. If I'm going there at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, there have been times, like for Tiny Guns, where I went there at 7 o'clock in the morning. Every time I crest that curb, I go, not today, not today, not today, not today. Giant fucking Mercedes van coming around the...

Corner, because you want to have your.

I don't know. Deodorant delivered tomorrow, you piece of shit. Honestly worth it. Yeah. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Yeah. Thank you for your 35 miles an hour. I think 35 for this area is. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the road to get in here that like runs parallel to a bunch of neighborhoods. We're in suburbia 55 miles an hour, like in an equitable road in Indiana. When I was back home, that is Indiana's flat as fuck.

Just laser straight, completely flat. The speed limit's 35, and I was stuck behind some old person going like... 12. Let me guess, they were driving a Buick. Yeah, of course. A champagne Buick.

God, that's one thing that drives me fucking crazy about the Midwest. Like, just the low speed limits. Like, taking a rental car up in Indiana, like the times I've been up there, Jesus, it's a fucking nightmare. And it is corn. Just corn. And it's two lanes, though. But it's still like 50 is the speed limit. I-10 out in West Texas, it's like 85 miles an hour is the fucking speed limit. I've done this thing in Iowa for like 20 years straight where I just, I get out of my car and I lock the doors and...

I come back out and my windows aren't broken and my car is still there. It's fucking dope. The secret is to drive around a 2003 Ford Ranger that's a piece of shit. Nobody even looks at my truck. You still put blocks in the back when you park on the slanted driveway. Wait, you just reminded me. I put bricks to cover my license plate when we were filming earlier today and I did not take them off.

See, you have a pickup truck in there front. Oh, no, even better. He got a preemptive strike on that Amazon truck. Coming around the corner, the brick bounces. Oh, fuck, Chase, if you're watching the news, you fucking have to die from the brick. Put it on a public screen.

I did buy a rubber chalk for my truck because I would get bullied for the fact that I would put on my parking brick. It's parking break, Connor. Damn. Oh, I was...

Get those mixed up all the time. Oh, Iowa, Indiana, Ohio, Idaho, whatever. Well, I didn't know my parking brake didn't work until I came down to Texas because Indiana is the flattest place on the goddamn planet. So it never came up. And then the driveway here is at like a 75 degree angle. So I got out. I put it in first.

and got out and usually just being in gear was good enough and the first time I got out of it the first time I parked in the driveway it just like slowly started rolling back down this is the first time I've ever seen a driveway in Texas that was already pre-studded with those like rock climbing colored rocks that's how you get to the front fucking door manual is not fun if you've parked and you have to go up and you're like I need to pull the car forward and you're like no

Dump the clutch. Yeah, second gear doesn't work in my truck, so I have to go first or third. Also getting stuck in fucking San Antonio traffic. Dude, my ankles are getting a hork out.

And then you have Cody who just bought a semi truck. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Yeah, Jesus fuck, dude. Cody! Cody, come back! I want your opinion on some things. Get back in here, you sexy boy. I need Cody's specific opinion on some things. Dude, that semi truck you can't park anywhere now. Cody has had the unique privilege of driving around my 4Runner for a week while his car was in the shop. How was that, Cody? That is the slowest fucking vehicle I've ever driven in my life. Isn't it great? No, I hate it. It's horrible.

Bro. He said the car sex was so bad. Bro. Yeah, they did. Oh, they did great. Can we give them... Do you have the number on there? I will give that dude a shout out for because he pays... He charges two. That was $70. For... That's worth it. He details like the ever-living... That was $70. Yeah. Bro, my forerunner is spotless right now. It's insane. Like he waxes, details the interior, exterior. Homeboy is a god. And it's him and his wife. It's a Mexican couple. They...

kill it and i don't have a mexican couple in san antonio surprise what is their goddamn number cody i texted to you i love how like eli just whips out his credit cards that he's going through like live in front of the camera it's got the power of a four-cylinder and the gas mileage of the v8 all wrapped up in a v6 engine okay yeah dude you're welcome for the detail i just came in a little bit it's okay

God damn it. Now I need to find... Did you ever text my car before I did? No. You mother... No, he said it was too small. Roadhead. Roadhead doesn't count. He actually was like, it's too small because he has a fucking semi truck now. Hey, my truck is awesome. Did you get that, Shelby? Yeah. It's hot.

The bottom. Oh, it's parked up front now. I tell ya, I'm like, I'm this, I'm going to look at a 66 Impala the day I get back. Really? It's fucking hot. Okay. Oh, it's hot. I still need to get mine restored. Yes, you do. Mine is restored. Wait, what?

holy fuck dog clean as fuck too it's gonna be dope as nick as it gets oh it's not bad at all dude no yeah it's got a 396 it doesn't have 454 that'd been cooler but is nick gonna beat you to the supernatural car no wrong year wrong color gorgeous interior why are you in automatics i'm gonna let that slide

I mean, you don't really get to pick when it's 66. Dude, that's gorgeous. Dude, it's hot. Dude, holy fuck. You want to know what my wife said? It's ugly. That's why she's your ex-wife. Too bad. We're conceiving our third kid. We're like gay van. Yeah. Did I send you the Reddit sombrero post? No. Oh my God. It was this dude that was just berating people about Halloween costumes and how offensive cultural appropriation is and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he was, he had a picture of a person dressed up like a native American chief. And then he had a picture of somebody dressed up as like the stereotypical, like Mexican and a poncho with a sombrero naturally. And he's like, these are highly offensive. And somebody that was Hispanic wrote a,

a fucking paragraph and a half of just ripping this dude apart. He's like, first of all, I can kind of understand the point about the Native American part with the headdress. Cause I know the headdress is like, you know, you're a chief. It's a, it's an honorary thing. Like you have to earn that. It's similar to like stolen valor and like wearing a medal of honor on your neck. So I can kind of maybe see the argument there, especially if it wasn't Halloween culturally as a Hispanic person. Let me tell you right now,

the sombrero has a lot of deep cultural meaning mainly that it's fucking hot out and that's about it and i don't want the sun on me this is so funny i thought i said it to you no no mexicans gonna dude if i like cody walked up you son of a bitch you gotta i would be like yo that's a

Cody would probably buy a really nice poncho. I'm like, dog, what is that made out of? That's some gross dope too. No one's going to get mad at that shit. Rice hat? No one's going to get mad about that shit. Hispanics are legitimately some of the most laid back people with that shit. They're lazy about it. God damn it. Camera punch. The whites are uncomfy, Eli. God damn it.

oh yeah i mean nick's looking at his fucking cat he's like yeah it's not even that it's just like bro i did construction for a decade before i got this job and let me tell you i've never met a group of people that can outwork me under the fucking table while i'm trying and also not make it look hard at the same time it's horrifying it's like those videos of them like uh throw in the spackle and like bro oh dude that is

insane dude wild you want to hear some crazy shit the first journeyman i ever worked with is like a day one apprentice i didn't know i'd work construction i'd built bridges i poured concrete all that shit but i'd never done anything bridges never built anything electrical bro i've i've jack hammered the bedrock of a river that was horrifying um that's scary how they build bridges um but uh

He was like, yeah, no, I was from California. Grew up there my whole life. I did drywall for fucking 30 years. And I quit just because I couldn't compete with people that didn't have to pay taxes doing drywall. They're better at it than me, and they don't have to pay taxes. Those mud people. Whatever. And he's like, so I became an electrician. And I was like, well, why did you pick another construction job? And he goes...

Because they don't make the electrical code book in Spanish. So it's the only one that's safe. Damn! Oh my god. I hope the Mexicans out there right now are like, si. We must learn this now. Translate the electrical code book. Chat GTP? Those damn mud people in my right hand.

When I did roofing, when I did any construction, it was always just watching them absolutely destroy white people in speed and process. Yeah, well, it didn't work in the Mexican-American war. Bro, in Iowa, whenever you're waiting on the general contracting crew, it's like four white dudes...

Or one Mexican dude and the Mexican dude's four times faster. I don't know how the fuck he does it. It's incredible. It's the Amish people of building stuff. Have you ever... Amish people are the Amish people of building stuff. Have you ever seen Amish people build shit? It's horrifying. Have you watched this? They will have the framing and the roof done in two days.

I'm not kidding. So like I literally married the farmer's daughter. Like Hannah's parents are the whitest farmers on the planet that you've ever met. Now Hannah was adopted. Hannah was adopted from Guatemala when she's 18 months old. Her parents are love them. They're great people, but they're the whitest of the whitest. They are American Gothic. They are the painting of the two white people holding the pitchfork. Like that's her parents. They're the nicest people on the planet.

I went to their house. I visited. I left that. It was a Friday. I came back on Sunday. I'm not fucking kidding you. There was a new barn in their yard.

What the fuck is that? Oh, the Amish built it. I go, when? I was here 36 hours ago. Yeah, they're here yesterday. I go, and they're done? And he goes, yeah. What the fuck? Cody, have you never seen this? Yeah, I've seen the time lapses before. It's insane. It's a day. That wasn't a time lapse. That was live time, Cody. That was a stream. That was a live stream. That was a stream.

Dude, it is fucking crazy. And they're not using... They're just using tools. The only thing that can compete with Mexicans is white dudes with no mustache on their beard. It's 100%. It's fucking insane. I didn't realize that until they started popping up on, like, you see it on TikTok or whatever, where it's just not a time lapse. It's two days. Everything's up and you're like...

Do you guys have Amish people around here? No. Indiana. Indiana. Connor's seen this shit. Texas doesn't have many Amish people. You guys ever heard about the brown paper bag in the mailbox? No. You guys don't know about this? Is that like the upside down pineapple or something? Kind of. Okay. In a way. So like.

Obviously, these communities are very tight-knit. Community. Obviously, there's only so many fucking genetics to go around over so many generations.

issue like there's amish communities like you drive through town it's like there's fucking one power line it only stops at the schoolhouse because it's legally required and none of the other houses have power nothing you can drive through these communities there'll be like a brown paper bag over the mailbox and that's the signal of like hey if you want to inseminate an amish woman and donate some genetics to this pool you can but

Can I just pause real quick? Brandon, did you take my glass? I did. I did. I thought you took it and took a fuck with it. I was like...

Thank you. I was like the drink. I just left. I got you. I got you. I'm so confused. I was like, what the fuck? I know a guy that did it though. Really? Oh yeah. Oh, so how about it? It was, it was, there's no child support whatsoever. It was, it was a straightforward deal. It was not that day. Not nearly as fun as he thought it was. Oh, it was like, he's like, there's a fucking sheet. Oh, this is going like, um, what's the show?

What? What's the show where it's like that? America falls, there's nuclear war, and then they are- Fallout? No. Holy shit. You guys haven't watched- I don't know. Anyways, he said there was like a sheet with a hole in it and like the local- I don't know if it's like a priest or whatever, but like the local religious leader is there to like-

Sign off on the to make sure you do it right I fucking to make sure you don't have fun I don't know is it huh well. That's not how I do with the choir boys, but you know hmm I guess it works so like there's a hole in the sheet, and that's all yeah, that's all you get huh get like so if you're thrusting too hard the priest is like wait You're having too much fun calm down. Yeah, chill just come this is for God this if you ever I love I

I love when the, the like people in the street influencers go and interview all the kids at the, uh, um, the Mennonite colleges. Oh, Oh yeah. The one, the Mennonite colleges are not Mennonite. Um,

Salt Lake City. Mormon. Mormon colleges. Have you ever seen that? The Mountain Jews. Oh, dude. The people on the street people go up and be like, hey, would you rather drink a cup of oil or a cup of coffee? And they're like, I'll take a cup of oil. Yeah. Because they're not allowed. It's like a drug. It's a great place to put a coffee company. They also talk about soaking. Have you ever seen that?

I do know the soaking thing. That's fucking strange. Apparently, the loophole out of that is you can soak, and then you have your really good friend shake the bed while you're soaking to add the motion for you. You're just not allowed to add the motion. Oh, it's so funny. I love you, bud, but no. It's also like, if God didn't want me to use a loophole, he wouldn't have left it open. He knows everything. Jewish with the wire in New York.

Yeah, the Jew wire. Are we allowed to talk about the Jew wire? I think so. Is it a secret? I think so. I don't know. It's Google-able. I guess. You told me about it. And I didn't know. Don't talk about the Jew wire. So you can't carry stuff either on that day. You're not allowed to carry stuff. That's technically work. Performing work, yeah. Unless you're inside the wire. Yes. Because it's the Sabbath. Yes. So that is why you have that wire around. Outside of your home.

If you don't know with... Sorry, I'm...

incredibly uneducated on the Jewish religion. But apparently if you're in with inside a man-made structure, you're allowed to do certain levels of work. But if you're outside, you're not allowed to do any work at all. Correct. And around the Island of Manhattan, they have taken a wire and made this humongous perimeter so that you're technically inside a man-made structure on the Island of Manhattan. So you're allowed to do more work.

during that period of time while remaining within the rule set of the religion it reminds me of that i just like god's like oh those honestly it reminds me of that i respect the effort involved oh yeah if i was an omnipotent being i would be like fuck the effort that it took to go to the government council and be like hey these are my rules hear me out

I want to have a wire that does nothing and nobody's allowed to touch it. Manmade. I just, I needed to get shit done. And they're like,

Okay. Like, I respect it. I'm in awe. Oh, wait. Handmaid's Tale. If you haven't watched Handmaid's Tale, that is literally what you were talking about. I couldn't get into it. I had an ex or something that was watching it at some point, and it just seemed kind of like fan fiction of, like, the extreme left. If you fast, it is. If you fast? No, if you're hard a little bit. It gets really. It's fucked. It is fucked.

When you watch everything and then you have people fighting to get America back because America is nuked to shit. And it's like, hey, this is how we make babies. No. And then they use that as leverage. It's like, look, we're actually having babies, though. And they're like, why? It's not so bad. And then you see what the girls go through and you're like, oh, okay. What the fuck is going on on this show? But yeah.

If you like violence and storytelling, not too shabby. I watch every season. God damn it. You're going to make me watch a show. Yes. Do it. Do you ever watch man in the high castle? Nick?

I started to. I didn't finish it. I feel like that's something you would like. Yeah, it's weird if the Japanese and the Nazis actually won World War II. Yeah. The Japanese on half of America and then the Nazis on the other half. It's pretty fucking interesting, man. Shout out to Andy. You're my buddy. He's the first actor in that. That's the guy that hands the envelope in the movie theater. Oh, nice. That's his claim to fame. He's like, I was in that scene. He's very proud of it.

It was his first big gig and he never did anything past that. He was a great actor too. Just never anything else. I never really liked those historic fiction kind of things where they're like alternate history things where they go like super wild. Like there was that one movie that came out like, uh,

the CSA where it's like, Oh, if the South won the war and it's like, it does it in a really dumb way where it's like in modern day, there's like a QVC shopping channel for slaves. And like the, on the moon landing, like they've got a Confederate battle flag instead of an American flag. It's like, I don't think you guys understand history at all. I don't, I don't feel like that's how that would have went even a little bit. The internet makes it fun. Yeah. There's no good Wolfenstein video game. Nope.

If you haven't played the new ones.

I've seen clips of it. I just think of the college humor skit where it's like, dude, my grandpa was like super into Wolfenstein. He was super into cosplay. Yeah, I found his old cosplay gear up in the attic. He went to conventions and everything. Look at it. Are you guys familiar with the dead internet theory? Yes. No, that just came out. It's an AI based. It's been a while, but yeah. So basically since chat GPT has come out, which when was that? Nine months ago.

Apparently more text, more written text has been generated by chat GPT since it came out more than all of humankind has ever generated ever period. AI is in the last, let me get the exact. What do you mean by generated? Like created. Oh, oh. So created tech more than every book ever written and every human made social media post ever. Every comment section ever.

Everything a human being has ever done is now been surpassed by chat GPT since it came out. Well, that's an odd thought, right? So there's this theory and apparently it's like 45% of all internet traffic right now is bots. So there's this theory within like the next couple of years that the algorithm is just going to be bots transacting.

trying to satisfy the algorithm that's determined by bots. And it's just going to create this feedback loop that kills the internet entirely. Yep. So they, uh, the internet just won't be a thing anymore. There's also a crazy, like, uh, so it's kind of like cyberpunk lore really. So like there's a thing called the black wall and cyberpunk where it's like beyond it is old internet that was taken over by like AI and like all sorts of like crazy shit. And they have this like much more localized lockdown, uh,

internet like on on like that they use on the day-to-day right now if you want a better idea ai so in the last year ai designed sequences of 20 amino acids that make up proteins when compared to nature's handiwork some of the sequences worked just as well as once generated over a million years process of evolution we and i know and it's uh in the last three years through ai we have that has developed faster than 300 million years of

evolution on the planet it is absolutely yes i wonder if the people that were building those like fucking room-sized computers in the 50s and 60s knew they were building our new god those and those room-sized computers are a t8 ti83 calculator versus what we have like this this is fucking insane compared to those giant computers back in the day

It is. AI is the one thing. I'm like, I'm not going to lie. While his methodology may have been a bit controversial, maybe Teddy K had a point. Did you see the post in the subreddit about the Kaczynski? It was on eBay. It was on...

authentic undetonated Kazinsky package no what the fuck it was on ebay for like 20 grand this would be a perfect I don't know if it was fake or I'm almost positive it was fake but it was like unopened authentic Ted Kazinsky package $19,000 and somebody's like this would be a perfect gift for Wendigo oh

So we're actually – Like to keep, not to have them open, obviously. It's a joke, YouTube. It's a joke. Did you just threaten my son? No. I won't. Well, okay, so something that – I've got to be careful about how I talk about it. Go on. There is something that a lot of people don't know is that Ted Kaczynski actually built his own handgun.

Uh, it's like, it's pretty sketchy looking, but it's, I think it's a 22 or something like that. Is it a sketch? Uh, no, he built it. Like it's, it's a thing. And the FBI, I think is in custody of custody of it. Now it was in a museum somewhere. But, uh, my favorite part of that entire story is a, it looks pretty ghetto, but B he legitimately had it labeled. And I like paraphrasing, but I believe this is the case. He labeled it pistol for homicide, right?

That's like a Fallout name. Yeah, it's like, "Well, just in case you forgot why you built it, I guess." I don't fuckin'-- Not your work pistol or your hunting pistol. It's like, "No, no, no, that's the pistol for homicide." So... That's probable cause and a fuckin' nope. OooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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I went off the deep end. I've been studying the emperor of Japan. Oh, yes. Go on. For about a month. This is during World War II period? Yes. So there's a very – They've had a few. So like the official narrative right now is that the emperor of Japan was basically a powerless figurehead.

And that the government, or not the government, but the branches of the military, like the top military officials were actually running the Japanese government. That goes back to like the Daimyo period when, fuck, I don't believe any of it.

Okay, never mind. Daimyo period they did. It was a placeholder and the daimyo would rule. I don't believe it. I don't believe any of it. I think the emperor of Japan in World War II was signing off on all of it. Yes. He was a god in that time. He was revered as a god. And if you go back and look at it, the imperial Japanese constitution, if you look at it, I think it's articles 11 through 15 are literally like,

The emperor has the final say on everything. The emperor is in charge of this. The emperor is in charge of that. The emperor is in charge of this. The emperor is in charge of that. Like it's in the constitution. It's written out. And then when it came to surrendering for Japan, the tiebreaker between the committee of the six that got to decide if Japan would surrender or not, the tiebreaker was the emperor.

And there's a historian. His last name is Bix. I can't remember his first name. He wrote a whole book about it. It's really good. But he kind of lays out the whole case for it. And it's like, fuck, I think he's right. Because he's like, no, the dude had power. He knew what he was doing the whole time. And the reason that America plays along with...

The emperor being the powerless figurehead was – America was basically hoping that by allowing the emperor to not face a tribunal for war crimes, it would make it easier for Japan to basically join the world again and be a productive member of the –

of the global society. And that's basically why you had MacArthur parading the God emperor around taking pictures with MacArthur's six foot five ass next to his five foot four, whatever, being like, ah, and this guy, King, whatever. There was never, this guy was never photographed before. Like,

They'd never heard his voice. They'd never heard his voice on the radio. So when he surrendered, it was like a big deal in Japan. And there was actually like everybody, when they heard that the emperor was going to be on the radio and they were going to hear his voice for the first time, they were dressing up like they were going to fucking church.

- This is a god- - To hear his voice on the radio. - That's wild. - A god figure. This is how Kim Jong Il essentially was revered. - Right, so like the predominant narrative has literally been like, oh, Emperor Hirohito was like just dicking off in his palace playing with koi fish. And it's like, no, he wasn't. He was fucking- - So, no, excuse my- - Go ahead. - Ignorance on Japanese history of that timeframe, but in the 40s, was it still a genealogical monarchy kind of thing?

Like it was his kids or... So the theory was... God, I'm not super versed on Shintoism, but it's literally like you have...

The gods of the yin and the yang, and then you had the light god. There's like tiers of gods almost. So you had like yin and yang, which is kind of like the universe essentially. And then you had the god of light, the sun. And the emperor was the son of the sun god.

So he was basically like Hercule. He was a demigod, god-level figure. But still genetics, yes. Because you had the – so you had daimyos, and then you had the – what was it? Daimyos? Samurai was under – that was the fourth in the rank, daimyos and shogun. So daimyos, shogun. So emperors, daimyos, shogun, samurai, samurai.

Nobunaga was the one that almost unified it. And then the other guy, I forget his name. He is the one that actually, he took over Nobunaga. He unified it. But the god, the emperor is the one that stayed in charge always. Never in charge though during that time period. That was like the shogun and the daimyo were the ones that were like...

Killing people. And the king was like, I'm not going to fuck with these dudes. Yes. Here is the Imperial Japanese Constitution. So before America overthrew them, Articles 11 through 13. Article 11, the emperor has supreme command of the army and navy. Article 12, the emperor determines the organization of peace, standing of the army and navy. Article 13, the emperor declares war, makes peace, and concludes treaties. Period. Period.

Hirohito himself sanctioned the attack on Pearl Harbor. He was briefed on every military action and was allowed to intervene whenever he saw fit, which was almost never. So like on the council of six that made all the decisions, one of those six was like his servant, his like right-hand guy that was sitting on the council basically representing his interest. And then if there was ever a tie, he would go in to break the tie, which is what happened when they surrendered in World War II.

So, yeah. So kind of like a vice president does over Congress. Basically, yeah. Or the Senate, rather. I love that. And then it kind of brings into the whole thing of like, well, if the emperor wasn't powerful and he was just a figurehead...

Why did they try to overthrow him when they heard that he was going to surrender? Like, why do you need to overthrow a guy that doesn't have power? It's like the king in England right now. Right. Okay, so what? Yeah. Like, why would you bother to overthrow him? It's because he actually did have all the fucking power. So, I don't know. I'm not convinced. It's a hard one because it is how the general public looks at it. If they viewed him as that...

It's hard to push back. But it makes complete sense as to why America would be like, okay, no, we're going to roll with that. That way you don't have to get convicted for war crimes. We'll make all of your people happy because their God gets to stay alive. You get to tell your people to chill, like go make Toyotas and radios and shit and be a productive member of society. And everybody fucking wins.

That's 100% what happened though. It's the same thing with like everybody's mad that there's like Confederate statues and bases are named after Confederate generals. Like the reason that that was done – For the people. It was to pacify the people. I understand the narrative is that like, oh, they were trying to scare black people or whatever. It's like there might have been a small degree of that. But by a large part, it was trying to bring the South back into the fold of like, hey –

We want you guys to be part of the fucking team. Here, well, you know... Passify the people. Exactly. And it makes sense to me. No, I mean... Because it was almost like a generational gap because there was kind of a really brutal reconstruction period. And then after that, it was kind of like... Once the, you know, the...

The temperature of the room kind of chilled out a little bit. It was like, all right, we need to figure out how to move forward as a country more unified and stuff like that. We did get into in pretty deep detail the other day why I believe it was Woodrow Wilson. I don't know. You already know where that's going. His great love for Birth of a Nation and everything like that.

we got into that with jack mandeville oh no when on podcast oh yeah oh that goes out tomorrow morning oh good yeah and then we have one saturday good or friday saturday for everyone oh no yeah yeah i'm gonna go watch the last samurai tonight good i might do that too that's a good movie oh we're talking about tom cruise now we're talking about japan we got uh we got drunk like a year year or two ago and uh i'd never seen the last samurai

so i oh that's why you're doing the recreation yeah so so i i we were watching it i was like damn this man get this man a disney contract he's never seen the movie have him do the recreation 100 no but i was like damn this movie's dope so i was like i was pretty buzzed so i was sitting there on my couch and uh i bought a gatling gun that night

That is why I have that Galaga. I've had it for like a year and a half. I haven't done dick with it because I've wanted to do a real, like a good recreation. I have a whole fucking bit. I have the armor. Stop about the... Hear me out. Brandon Herrera buying a Galaga. Brandon Herrera also buy like time period accurate sword and armor. No, fuck that. Oh, I went all out. Let's run an experiment.

Nerds can run your... Can we run two videos on your channel? We'll do them back to back. We'll see which one performs better. Okay, you guys can do your time-accurate samurai armor bullshit with the Gatling gun. Okay, I get to pick the theme for the second video with the Gatling gun. We'll see which one performs better. No, no, no. So, okay, I wasn't doing a... I'm not doing a period accurate. It's literally for a fucking 30-second bit. Brandon just wanted to run in on an MRI. But I just want to fuck shit up with the Gatling gun. I bet my idea will outdo it. What's your idea? Hear me out.

We might have to cut this just in case I like it. No, it's not bad at all. Here's the title. I'm saying just in case I like it. Which drill will make a Gatling gun run faster? DeWalt versus Milwaukee. Honestly? And we just hook up with DeWalt drill versus the Milwaukee drill to the Gatling gun and see which one shoots more fucking bullets. You're getting so many community construction workers. They're going to be like, damn.

You might need something kind of like, you might need like an impact or something because it's actually kind of stiff. Like it's a big crank. Tweaker versus Milwaukee versus DeWalt versus Makita. I'll take the tweaker. I have any day. Good impact. Was that you that sent me the drill fights?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They tape the bits together on the end of them and send them in reverse and they just spin and fight each other and they see which one lasts the longest. They chuck them up to the same pieces. Why am I not surprised that that's in your YouTube feed? First off, they've got to the same bit and then they just have two zip ties and

And they yank the zip ties and drop it and let him fight to the death. This is on your two feeds without a doubt. It's also in mine, to be fair. It's fucking redneck Beyblades, homie.

It's like a... I just pictured, was it Bot Wars? What is it? Robot Wars. Robot Wars? You're just like duct taping the triggers and throwing it together? Dude, there's apparently an arena in Vegas that was really close to where we were staying for SHOT Show, and I was like, dude, I'm not going to lie. I would totally show up in person and get hammered at a BattleBots fucking show. Yeah. The gang dust drill fighting.

We all go to Home Depot and we pick out a drill that we won't and we drill fight. I just misunderstand the assignment. Three, two, one. What the fuck? I'm going to Home Depot that day. I know the exact drill that'll win.

What's up? I know the drill that'll win. I'm winning. Cool. So anyway, the next... No, I'm... It's fine. We're winning. We're doing... No, you laugh. We're fucking doing this tomorrow. I'm deadass here. I'll drop $1,000 on power tools right now. I don't give a fuck. Like, Hilo has went to the side. We're like, we're doing... We're gonna buy fat. Rocket Money has already bought an ad on the Fat Files channel, so...

If you think redneck Beyblades isn't something I'll do on my B channel, you're wrong. You found something somehow, a fight, a cage fight that is somehow more Mexican than cockfighting. So much more Mexican. I'm throwing mud at their eyes. Blinding them. Brandon's just punching them with it. It's just drills. You guys want to do it? The gang does drill fights. How do we fight? Huh?

We make a fucking... Hey, Cody, close this out. If you want to know how we fight... Yeah, but fuck that. It's a tournament bracket. You got Milwaukee, DeWalt, Ryobi, Makeda. We each get like 300 bucks. Craftsman. We go to Home Depot and we each pick out a drill of our choice and we do drill fighting. $300 ain't getting good shit. How much is... We do high-low. You can get it for 300 bucks. I'm choosing some Amazon bull...

- That shit's breaking. - You're losing. - Battery lasts two seconds. - I'm getting the Milwaukee surge. - Is that the good one? - It's hydraulic. It's quiet. You can't hear the hammer function. It's so overpowered. - Hydraulic? Wait, hydraulic and quiet? - So it's, so like, have you ever seen how a normal hammer function works on like an impact driver? You know how you can hear it? - Yeah. - Milwaukee makes a hydraulic version that's quiet.

And originally it came out and a lot of people in construction loved using them in like hospital settings because in hospitals they have like a bunch of weird fucking rules. I'm like, you know, it's quiet time. You can't be like you. If you want to do construction in a hospital, you literally have to run it up like a chain of command to use a hammer drill. But these hydraulic ones literally sound like tits.

That's the hammer function. And it's, they're so fucking strong. It's insane. You snap off bits and because you don't realize we run hammer drills and shit a lot. You don't realize how much you're listening to the sound to determine. Okay. That's tight until you don't have the sound. And then you're like, yep, that's stripped. That's snapped. That's broken off. You're like shit.

that's connor knows so it is real quick it's called a it's called a milwaukee surge yeah that's the all right can we put a amazon uh affiliate link in the description because i'm dead fucking serious i dead no desire for that but now i want one oh they're awesome i'm

Mine one, I'm not kidding. You want to put an absurd amount of torque on something and be dead-ass quiet while you do it? This is not a sponsored bit. We are organically talking about this, and I genuinely want that. I actually am an electrician, and I did construction, okay? God damn it. Fuel surge, 18 volt, $169. Oh, I've seen those. Oh, yeah. That's what you're talking about, right, Nick? Oh, I have one. Those?

You literally can't tell the difference between a regular Milwaukee and a surge except for it says surge in red in the plastic molded on the side. Chomper, thank you. I think you got me one of those. One of my buddies was like, this is for the Porsche. Just to take wheels off. When's the last time you moved that Porsche? It's been a while. Is this the fuel surge? It's $139. It's unstoppable. Well, it's mine now.

I'm telling you, bro. Redneck Beyblades? That's what we'll name the episode, too. The gang does Redneck Beyblades.

Check it out on Pepperbox. The sort of exclusive content you can be fucking... What's high-low? You ain't gonna find out. What we're doing is... That's a 10 million view video. I will argue that till I die. We got a new audience base. You wanna put it on Fat Files? I don't care, whatever. I don't care. I'll put it on my B channel. I don't give a shit. Video's brought to you by Rocket Money. Here's a fucking drill. And a zip tie.

that's like late stage YouTube it's like this video is brought to you by rocket money this is a fucking drill Cody closes out we'll go to the after show bye everyone thank you for joining the unsubscribe podcast I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap Nick the fat electrician Brandon Herrera myself donut operator please go to our patreon to check out the after show and as always go over to pepperbox.tv to see some content you won't see anywhere else

Like Brandon saying the F word. What? What?

Come on.