cover of episode 169 - Tiny Guns 3 & The War On The VFW ft. Garand Thumb & Micah Mayfield | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 169

169 - Tiny Guns 3 & The War On The VFW ft. Garand Thumb & Micah Mayfield | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 169

2024/7/23
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The hosts discuss the making of Tiny Guns 3, a project involving several podcast guests. They mention a near heatstroke incident on set, the weight of Nazi uniforms, and debate the historical accuracy of such attire.
  • Tiny Guns 3 was filmed.
  • Nazi uniforms are heavier than US uniforms.
  • A hawk has befriended the podcast hosts after being fed gophers.

Shownotes Transcript

Four years. That's how long it took Democrats to ruin our economy and plunge our southern border into anarchy. Who helped them hurt us? Ruben Gallego. Washington could have cut taxes for Arizona families, but Ruben blocked the bill. And his fellow Democrats gave a bigger break to the millionaire class in California and New York. They played favorites and cost us billions. And Ruben wasn't done yet.

We'll be right back.

Kerry and the Republicans will secure the border, support our families, and never turn their backs on us. Kerry Lake for Senate. I'm Kerry Lake, candidate for U.S. Senate, and I approve this message. Paid for by Kerry Lake for Senate and the NRSC. You were the VFW's 9-11. How much of this is making it in? The old red roulette with the 1911. Alright, get out of here. We'll f*** you now.

All right, get on the f***ing ground.

You were just like a fucking hungry fish. Hungry, hungry hippo over there. That was just my immediate reaction. It's natural. It's a good start. You can tell we never joke about s***. No, never. Brandon, no. No, none of us. How much did Go-Guns pay you to show that?

They paid us $0, unless they did, in which case, you can use the code ONSUB for 20% off your goat gun. Oh, yeah. Is it? I don't know. I don't know. I thought you were going to say $0. 20% off your $0. I was like, wait, there's a code for that, Brandon? Hey, everyone, on the count of three. Wait, I have no nails. I bite my nails. Someone's got to start it for me. You are such a... Look at that nub.

What the fuck did you bite the shit out of it dude? Does he have you running those kind of hours? Yeah, there we go. Okay, three, two, one. Hi everyone, welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap, Brandon Herrera, Garan Thum, Micah Mayfield, and the Fat Electrician. Hey.

And our boy, donut. Bro-nut pickle taters. I'm here too. I was hoping you forgot. Pat Electrician. Can we name again? Can we talk? Shut the electron, man. Can we talk about how we can't walk right now? Yeah, I was going to say, I thought we were only people with functional ankles. Perfect. Perfect. Yeah, this is coming. All right, let's hear it. That's all you got. You're the one. Raise your hand if you can fucking walk.

You guys can fuck and walk at the same time? What happened? He rolled his ankle. Well, I shot Micah in the face. Through the scalp. Through the scalp. And then I got blown up and twisted my ankle after I died.

My blonde-off-and-twisted-your-ankle, do you mean you dove and you have no athletic ability, so you twisted your ankle? No, I mean the ground broke from beneath me. Like a gopher tunnel fucking collapsed. Wait, really? Yes. You're like twisting my ankle. This is harder to make fun of you now. I'm just picturing whole-ass starship troopers. You fall into a cave. Now we get to film the gopher.

Now we get to film my Pepperbox special where I go out there and hunt fucking gophers at demolition rings for the next year. I was literally just going to say this is why we shoot them in Idaho. Like, you're allowed to just get rid of... Remember when I shot that one and it was like... And then it just went... Mike was like, huh, I must have been...

You and Admin assassinating that one in the rocks was the most metal thing I've ever seen in my life. That was very violent. First of all, he was already dead, but Aaron just barrel-stuffed this crevasse. It just went boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And the gun comes out just covered in guts. And we're like, Aaron...

Why? I just like you watching a goat run by and you were like, someone's like, put it out of its misery. No. Let it bleed. It was straight up just boom, boom, boom, boom. And he was like shouting. He's just, as he was going, I'm like, bro, you need to go to therapy. It was pretty humane when you think about it.

- But you know what we never told him about? - What? - Do you remember that angry hawk that was just pissed at us all day? - The one you're friends with now? - Because we fed it the gopher. Ever since the gopher, or what is it? A rock chuck, it's called a rock chuck. - I feed it rock chucks after I kill it. - Ever since we started feeding it, it loves us. - Okay, you have a hawk friend. - An angry hawk. - And an owl. Two owls. - Yeah. - And they're friendly? - They have sex with each other. - The owl is like the watchful protector. - What the hell, fucks the hawk?

No, no, no, the two owls are a mated pair. They're both boys, is the problem. No, we actually don't have all the sexuals here. That's what I hear. Oh, man.

It's like, is that not okay? No, no, no. Is that okay? I just like the first time you were on the podcast, it's like, what kind of podcast? And now you're like, okay, I know what kind of podcast. Yeah, it's not good. It was kind of funny because it seemed like you were leveling up. When I was in Idaho, it seemed like you were leveling up your RPG character where you were just like, oh, yeah, I want to befriend the hawk, feed it gophers. It's like in Skyrim. It's like, you know, leveling up hawk.

I saw it happen real time. It doesn't yell at us anymore. No, it actually just watches us. It's like a watchful protector for us now. It does, yeah. Yeah. It's the gayest thing you've ever seen. It's a Dark Knight quote. Oh, okay. Okay? Look, it's a watchful protector. Somebody help me open my mic lock. God, we're going hard, huh?

We're all exhausted. We were filming today. Everyone on set. Cody almost died like five hours in. Yeah, that was rough, dude. Almost had a heat stroke out there. You know what? It fucking turns out that Nazi uniforms are much more heavier than the U.S. uniforms. Have you ever been accused of being a Nazi?

Raise your hand at the table. Who's denied it? There's a lot less people. Raise your hand. Raise your hand if you've been accused. The fat electrician right now like, oh God. Bro, I make anti-communist stuff. Of course I'm accused. Oh.

Bro, I'm like watching, like in my mind, I'm watching my consultant see this episode and just sweating. At this point, it's just fun. Oh, speaking of your consultant. Oh, Christ. Can we talk about Tony Gonzalez? He's in contention for the record.

Oh, yeah. Tony Gonzalez is in third right now. So by the time this episode comes out, this is either going to be really funny or really not. But yeah. Tony Gonzalez is in third place for the most community notes on Twitter out of any American politician. He's only being outdone by Biden and Marjorie Taylor Greene. He is currently the 132nd most community noted on all of the Internet. Yes. Who's doing that? I don't know. That...

And no one, no one knows who is the community. The community. The community is, is there a community of community noters? Like who is the community noters? It's Elon Musk himself is saying that you are a fucking liar. I've seen Elon Musk get community noted. I think somebody, no, I think, dude,

Aaron got a reply from Elon. The eye of Sauron. Yeah. Turn. He's watching. He's the watchful eye. Watchful protector. Once gay or literal gayness are saying bye.

Have you seen the picture of Elon? He's getting quite large and it's like, "My racket." My dude. My dude. Back to Cody. So you almost passed out today. Yes. Yeah, as soon as I put the Nazi uniform on, I was like, "How did they not win the Battle of the Bulge?"

Because it was cold. They couldn't have been colder than that. They were hot. Dude, imagine North Africa, though. Those fights. No, they had tropical uniforms. Did they? I should know too much about this. You know, you retain autistic amounts of information about any war ever.

So my great uncle was actually captured at El Alamein from, yeah, he fought under Rommel in North Africa. Really? On that, yeah. The Desert Fox. The Desert Fox himself. Very cool. What is that? It's the same thing as like, you know, Rommel, I read your damn book. Whatever that was, Patton. What? Yeah, the movie Patton. You haven't seen Patton? What? What?

That's a generational gap right there. Yeah, I have a- Well, I'm his generation, so that's kind of upsetting, but- I've seen it in everything but that! I think there's only two people at this table that's watched Pat. I've never watched it. What? They've never watched it. So just you two have watched Pat. So now you're the minorities. Yeah. It's the first time I've ever been a minority. Not for me. Give me the gun! Give me the gun right now, man! The minority's here! Oh no!

Is that the wall? Oh yeah. Oh, the safety zone. You can't rag it, yeah. Oh shit, it's loaded. We'll keep that there. Who's up?

Me next, me next! Spin the 9 mils! The old Russian roulette with the 1911. This is a veteran's favorite game. This went from unsub to Deer Hunter real fucking quick. You've seen Deer Hunter, right? Is it a movie? Wait, what? Is it a movie or a game? Both.

Wait, are you being serious? I have not, no. I've played Deer Hunter. Wait, wait, no, you are being serious. No, I've played Deer Hunter. I have not seen. No, we're talking about the movie. Never seen Deer Hunter. I've never seen Deer Hunter. I don't even know what. It's like, dude, this side of the table. I'm with you guys. I've never seen Deer Hunter. I know what it is just from Jarhead. Just walking.

Because you remember in Jarhead where he's like, my wife sent me deer hunting. Oh yeah, and then it's the dude coming in the cookies. I do remember that. Yeah, that's a pretty memorable scene. But I have never seen deer hunter. God, you do remember an autistic level amount of stuff. That's not abnormal to the room. No, no, no, he remembers shapes and patterns. I'm telling you, you're there. He's lining up. No, I'm not. It's not good. He's like, dude, this is a normal amount of things to remember.

I hate that line made me mad. I'm wearing the right shirt for it. Mike, you are on an organization in your garage right now. Like things are lined up perfectly. Everything. Oh, fuck. You're showing heavy signs. Thank you guys for helping us raise $110,000 for autism. I mean, my decline was rapid.

I don't know what else to say. Is there any scientific studies relating trend to autism? I don't think so. We can start it. It's a weird program to start. Hey, these autistic kids.

You remember what Kenny said to me? Because Ash got pregnant when I was like mid-Trend cycle. He's like, you know what happens if you have a kid when you're on Trend? I'm like, what? He's like, you have a girl. Sure enough, I had a girl. So I don't know if there's a correlation. Case study one. No, there is. Is that real? Higher testosterone levels make you more prone to having girls. Well, Trend isn't test. Trend is just an anabolic steroid. Yeah.

Synthetic. Which raises what? Well, it doesn't raise your test. You actually need to stabilize your test. It turns off the test. So your normal testosterone production goes to zero and then you have a synthetic testosterone. So when you take anabolic steroids, it's different from taking testosterone. Those are actually different as far as how they're working. So like an anabolic steroid is increasing nitrogen retention and things of that nature. And it's actually depressing your natural testosterone level, which is why you need to supplement with testosterone. The only topic I was hoping we'd never talk about was steroids. And military. And military, yes.

11 minutes. Approximately 11 minutes. 11 minutes and 50 seconds. We're very good. So drugs. What do you want to talk about? Anime? Anime.

Let's talk about Halo. My boy will talk about Halo. I love Halo. What do you think about the show? He loves the show. I hate the show. Yeah, everybody fucking hates the show. Master G-Force takes off his helmet. Well, I don't care. I honestly don't care that he took off his helmet. They can do... L-Take. L-Take. No, I don't care. I don't care that he took off his helmet, but the first battle scene was fucking retarded.

Which part? It was just him, like, sailing through the air, like, firing... It was a jumping one. It just looked dumb. That's when I turned it off. Yeah, I literally turned it off like, this is retarded. Like, it's...

The writing is fucking trash. Fallout was a banger. The chick is hot. Did they make her eyeballs huge? No, that's her weird eyeballs. She's got big eyeballs. I love it, dude. Somehow Amazon Prime fucking dabbed on themselves. What? You don't like the way she looks? Not my thing. You just got big eye thing? I think she's attractive, but they're huge. It makes me think that one animated weird one. I'm like an ascot. Do you like it?

No, not really. Yeah, see? He's got an eyeball thing. Well, look. That's an eye-to-eye thing? No, I like that. She's hot as fuck.

What's his name? Walter Goggins? Walton Goggins? Walter Goggins. Oh, fuck, dude. He saved that fucking show. You think? I think the show did really good, especially coming from it is the idea of somebody that thinks the world's a great place, and then you're just tossed in that world. Goggins was great, but I think he was an addition. I don't think he saved the show, because I think the girl was awesome as well. I think she actually played her role well. She did a great job. Because she was supposed to be kind of retarded, and...

She's oblivious. Oh, no. And? I look over, I just see a shaking head. I'm like, Brandon? Women. I'm going to die of excitement. All the food went in the trash. Damn. But it is funny because you're used to the modern Star Wars, like Mary Sue. Women are good at everything. She was a good one where it's like... Empowered women.

You start out as like just a normal average everyday person. Like she has to get hardened by what she experiences. Just wanting to get creeped by dude. I'm so over cousin stuff. What? Just cousin stuff? I can't wait for the real thing. My wife was like, cousin stuff.

I've been in a vault for 200 years. Everybody's cousins. That fucking, the Brotherhood of Knights guy, he was a fucking retard. Brotherhood of Steel. Wow. Did you play Fallout? Shame. This is round two of Cody getting shit on. He's like, please, not today. Shame. He was a knight in the Brotherhood of Steel. Aren't you known for being a nerd? Isn't that your thing?

No, he's a skater punk cool guy. I don't know what you're talking about. It's funny because I know that you're a fucking, you're a diehard like Fallout New Vegas guy. Yeah. Well, I'm tired today after wearing a Nazi uniform, so I'm not thinking straight.

I hear you, brother. Cody says the best guy ever. New Vegas was the best Fallout. New Vegas, thank you. New Vegas, done. Yeah, it was the best. I love 1 and 2 also, but I'm old. Oh, you're being a hipster. I played it when it came out. Really? I was born in 81. He was there 10,000 years ago. He's talking about Fallout 1 and 2. Yes, I played them when they came out, Micah.

Oh, while crazy. Yeah. Oh, great. We finally made a game that was better than Pong. Wasn't Fallout 1 a fucking ping pong machine? No way. No, it was a turn-based strategy game. Thank you. I'm going to play it. It's good. I'm going to play it. You have to take out the grain of salt because it was made around the X-Pod days. Didn't they make a new version of it called Wasteland of Kanashi or whatever that's called? Yeah, the original developers. Yeah.

Church's original recipe is back. You can never go wrong with original.

Still tastes the same like back in the day. Right now, get two pieces of chicken starting at only $2.99 or ten pieces starting at only $10.99. Churches. All for valid and participating locations. Thank you. I'm glad I'm not alone. It's three for me, man. Oh, the game that ends the same way no matter how you play it? Three and four. Cool. Cool, yeah, just like life. Okay. Get it? It's a metaphor. Asshole.

I can't say 4 was better than New Vegas. 4 sucked. No, 4 did not suck. 4 was the worst of the newer ones. Because Bethesda never increased anything. They're like, this method works. We're going to do this for the next 20 years and never change a thing. And then we're going to release Bethesda. Did you do that in a retard voice? No, I can do it. But then...

Do a completely different voice. I'm going to do that again while I... Wasn't as bad as me endorsing you with a Nazi flag behind you. I still haven't seen that, but yeah, thank you for that. Do you know the lead developer of New Vegas probably blocked us all on Twitter? Why? I'm blocked on Twitter by him. I have no idea. It's probably the third... Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

You have no idea. I have no idea. Ooh. Oh, Eli. I'm a ghost. What are you doing? I'm here to tell you about Ghost Bag. Is this an ad? It might be an ad. Why are you in my bedroom? I don't know. Scoot over. Let's talk about it. Every ghost mattress has a 20-year warranty. Some even have a 25-year warranty. And you can try them out for 101 nights, worry-free. If you don't like it, just send it back. I don't like this. No hard feelings.

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Right now, GhostBed is offering 50% off all their products. Just use code UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or go to ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. Please buy some at ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. I'll be under your bed if you need me.

You guys are the biggest bullies on Twitter and I love it. Dude, Elon had it 100% right. He's like, yeah, you know, Twitter is the PVP server of social media. Absolutely fucking awesome. Ray showing everybody is awesome. Yes. Ray showing everyone. There's only a couple reasons I log into Twitter. One, to check out what you're doing. And two, to help Charlie Ray show Moni Tony.

Oh my god. Making sure Tony Gonzalez can never log into Twitter again and feel good about himself has been one of the privileges of my life. The mental picture of him wiping his asshole and his finger poking through it is like, huh? It's like actually burned into my brain.

Moany Tony's the one. I would be mad if that was my nickname. I've never heard that till now. Really? No. We started an old campaign about allegations where Moany Gonzalez moans when he wipes his ass. I've seen that. Moany Tony. Moany Tony.

Twitter's the only thing I log in. I just see my friends bully people. I'm like, I have to have Twitter for today. His new one is Salsa Boy. Salsa Boy's good. Salsa Boy's hilarious. Salsa Boy was the intro to gay porno. Like, for sure. It almost seemed like it was going that way. That ad was crazy. It might still. I mean, he's never had an actual job in his entire life that wasn't just from the government. So he might need a private sector thing after this.

What could he do? What life skills does he have? Salsa boy and a gay porno.

I love the intros of gay pornos. Like, they are my favorite. You were showing us. Mike has them on deck. I know. It's always just the intro. Did I accidentally lead into something real? No, he doesn't. No, I do. I do. It was something we used to show. This is not... I like brains like... That was like virgin ears. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? It was like the new guys would come in and be like, you have to watch this. And we'd put it down and be like...

Like, you guys all got to blow your load on your DI's hat right now. Oh, never mind. I did hear. Literally, I started working for Mike way back. He's like, I need you to watch something.

And I'm like, okay. He's like, everybody in our unit, you know, whatever it was. Is that how I talk? Well, this is me when you're talking about the military. Was it before the DECA? Whenever you talk about the military, I put on that voice. He's like, yeah, so like the unit. Anyway. I did not say the unit, to be clear. Oh yeah, you're right. The unit implies like the unit. My unit or my whatever it was. And he's like, so I need you to watch this. I need to see your reaction. And it was like,

hey, you guys all jerking off in your beds and it's just a bunch of dudes under the covers jerking off. And I'm like, Mike, what am I watching? And he's like, you need to keep going.

And I'm like, okay. He's like, that's it. I need everyone in the showers. Everyone's in the showers. He's like, I need 16 loads on your DI's hat. And I'm like, why am I watching this? We're on our way to the range to film. And I'm like, this is what you're going to be watching.

What are we doing? Bro, you don't have fucking hype-up music? That's what we do. I picture you before a heavy bench. You're like, 16 loads.

That'd be great. Now it's my favorite pastime to pass it on to other people. It is still one of my favorite things in the world. When we went to fucking Salt Lake that one time, we were with Zydex. Oh, I know you're talking about Zydex. Oh, I know you fucking know. Wait, which story are we talking about? There's two. This one in particular was the one where we were going to that one fucking place. We're driving down the road. Is this on the scooters? No, not that one. That was the other one. We were in the van for this one. I know what you're talking about. We were in the van and like,

Ram Ranch comes on and you just start singing the lyrics, if you could call them that, to Ram Ranch. Front to back. Front to back with fucking enthusiasm. 18 naked cowboys ready to get fucked. Like, you were just like, you were on it. You were fucking 100% down. On their knees, ready to be fucked.

No, I needed a little bit more. Yeah, we were all a little lit at that point. And he starts screaming it. We just turn around and look at it. We're like, holy shit, you know every word to this, don't you? He is sitting in the back of the van, fucking eyes closed, just like screaming it to the ether. Just before or after he said that Joseph Smith was a football star. Way before. Way before. I feel like you were trying to avoid saying that scenario. You guys were all...

We've told this story. You guys were terrified. Oh, yeah. Because you're in the middle of

Do you know why Mormons own Salt Lake? They kill people, dude. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Well, it was for any Mormon who owns Salt Lake, it was a joke. It didn't feel like a joke. It was high during this. Oh, bro, you were literally on fucking the outer rings of Saturn. Do we want to do a 10-minute break to eat? I can bring the food here, eat real quick, or what do you guys want to do? That's up to you guys. I don't care. Whatever you want, man.

I can keep going or whatever you guys want. I don't care. Mike is like, okay. I can eat. And then everyone shut him down. He's like, oh, okay. That's fine too. Your girlfriend is telling you to eat. You know, in hindsight, it probably wasn't very wise to shout Joseph Smith's

No, no, no. How much did you tip the DJ to play the side of car chant? Way too much. It was like 500 bucks. I should have just given him like 50. You'd probably soak it.

You get to talk that way low. Way lower. I know, I know. It only costs you $500 to dox administrative results. Jesus Christ. I forgot about that part. I forgot about that. To be fair, it was way more than it cost some random communist to do it. Bro, we were actually just talking about this. We've never... Oh, no, I'm not going to bring that up because I don't want it to happen now. Yeah, facts. Never mind. Never mind. Never mind.

but as a car stolen yeah I have so am I weird oh wait my wife's car no we're at Tacoma well yeah that checks to be clear she didn't leave the keys in the car yeah yeah yeah no for the insurance company I never had a car stolen but I did have a car shit in

That's a good story. Tell that story. That's a good one. Are we still rolling? Yeah, go for it. Yeah, dude. Yeah. So I'm not above admitting I was the ricer kid in high school. I had the Honda with a fake carbon fiber hood. I even drilled holes in my exhaust. I didn't have money to buy an exhaust or any of that kind of stuff. I went to AutoZone and went down the Mexi aisle and slapped every like, you know. Your Mexican aisle? Yeah. That's just the stick-on aisle, you know.

in AutoZone. So anyway, I would, like I was driving it like an asshole. I must've cut somebody off. And what I did at the time was I stocked all the pizzas for Schwan's. I would, I would go into, I would go into, I'm sorry, that was such a fucking mental, funny mental image. I would go into the freezers in the back of stores. I would grab the Red Baron, Tony's, Freschetta pizzas. I would make sure they're all, you know, lined up right on the shelves, stock them with what was low and then go to the next store.

I went to this Fred Meyers somewhere in Parkland, Washington, and I come out, and my e-brake is covered in human feces. So they sat on it. They went into my car. Wait, what? You just said that. I missed it really good. So they went into my car. So long story short, he used to drive for Schwann's. I went into my car. I said the same thing. Yeah. And...

upon my center console that included my e-brake. And they got lucky because they had a soft serve that day. And it happened to go in the cracks of the button of the e-brake. And it was so bad and smelly. And there was a literal handwritten note attached to the shit that just said,

piece of implying the shit weight. Piece of shit. So it was one of the handbrakes that lifts up. Lifts up and then you push the button. They would have had to straddle the passenger and driver side. The craziest part is I'm trying my best to think about what I did

on the road. I wasn't driving crazy. It must have just been how riced out the car was or maybe I accidentally messed someone up but there was poop everywhere. I hope whoever did it is an unsub fan. I'm trying to... There is their hand. You're the guy. You cut me off. This was actually I lived in Puyallup, Washington at the time but it happened in Parkland, Washington.

I'm trying to think of something that somebody could do. No, wait. Oh, no. Never mind. Oh, this is where our stolen car would get in. Never mind. Yeah, so anyway, I haven't lived that down. My mom, my dad,

and my sister, they still bring it up. Like, because I was supposed to go back home and hang out with my buddies. My buddies were all at my house eating breakfast with my parents and I'm like way late because I had to go into Fred Meyers and spray his... Dude, I was...

This old poopy handle, I'd be so mad. We sold that car two months later. You couldn't get the smell out, right? Well, I could eventually poop turns dry enough to not smell. It was still in there, but it didn't smell. Somebody has your shit car now. Someone else had it. What did you do? Oh, I would be so defeated. Just walk it. Open that door, you sit down, you're like, Keys, did you grab it first?

Did you look? I would have not looked. I would have been in my head like, what's that? I opened the door and it was a walk. Just, what the fuck? Something died. And then it was immediate, like, there it is. I'm trying to think of something that somebody could do to me to bring me to the point where I would do that. I got a word for it. No, I'm just trying to... No, but literally what Brandon's saying, you have a dude driving through a parking lot and he's like...

that dude. He just opened the door. I love that. It has to be for the love of the sport. He's a serial shitter. Serial shitter. He leaves a note. He has printed pasties for the piece of...

to whom it may concern okay there's only one worst thing I can think of and it happened when I was a survival guy so like you go out you go out and you teach and there'd be like one guy behind at the tent who'd like take care of everything for everybody make sure all the bags all the students were going the right places and um

So we'd like, when the season would start, because it was either winter camp or summer camp, so during winter camp you just dig a hole for the shitter, right? And build a tent over it. And then you'd build kind of like an elaborate wooden seat. You gotta make something cool, right? Because it's cold. So we came home for the night and it was like the highest ranking guy went out there to take a shitter.

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You have that front support right there, so his penis fell and hit the wood, but whoever had gone there first had came on that wood, so he was like, "That's not where I thought it was going!" The tip of his dick rubbed through the semen, and he was like, "I have a wife at home, just tell me if you have something, I don't care who it is, just who was it?" And like, nobody, like, we were all just like, stunned. And he was like, "Who the fuck was it?" We're pretty sure it was this one dude. But he was just like, he was just like, petrified, he was like,

The entire day we're like, that's the guy who has time to jack off. And that's still the grossest thing I can think of to this day. That's pretty bad. There's this, uh, that'd be so mad. There was this construction company I worked for at one point. And, uh, this new guy, this new guy went in the port of sugar and came back out and he smelled like shit.

for like the rest not like maybe you mean like no no like just went in took a came back out and then proceeded to smell like for the rest of the day and we're like like okay maybe he farted and followed him for a second we'll give it why why do you why do you smell like oh i think we're getting to that the porta potty was out of toilet paper no and maybe i was like you missing a sock like what you got both sleeves on you better be missing the sock no no

He took his pants off in the porta potty, turned his pants inside out, wiped his ass with the leg of his pants, put them back on and went to work. Does he have women in his basement? What the fuck is he doing? I can think of 15 ways to solve that problem. Better than that. That's why you're here. Just imagine that's your thought process. You're like...

I'm a fucking genius. Take your pants off, you flip them inside out. Ah, problem solved. I'm thinking of like the Zach Galifianakis meme from The Hangover. It's like equations going on. It's like, Bob, you must take a choice.

Do you use a sock or do you wipe your fucking pants on it? That is insane. It must have been a wet loan too, like a multi-wiper. I don't want to know. What the fuck?

How did we get on the poop-o-top? What are we covered by? Politics, Fallout, Tren, poop. Don't forget cum. Where do we go from there? We got the Tren-ity.

this is nowhere good to go after this is not going wrong 33 minutes in I'm like guys and that's a wrap that's a wrap we've achieved world peace the best the best part about like you doing that the in Salt Lake was Chuck Liddell beside us

Joseph Smith is a false prophet kind of. Chuck's just like, hey. There is nothing like having the fucking confidence of getting in a bar fight knowing Chuck Liddell is on your side. I just remember him coming up to me when we were in the club. He's like, Michael, you okay? Yes, sir. Yes. He's like, God damn God. He's like walked off.

There's nothing like Chuck checking in on all of the boys. He checks in on everybody. Getting progressively sweatier. LAUGHTER

You know what he said? When- Remember when we did that one shoot and we all had to stay in the cabins? Fuck you guys. Yes, dude, dude, fuck! Oh my god! I was alone in the cabin with Chuck. I didn't know him- I'm gonna get out of frame for this part. I didn't know him at all at this point. And he's like- We're getting ready for bed, so he comes out like this, like, skippy underwear. He's like, "Alright, get in here or I'll fuck you down." And I'm like, "No! No!" And then he's like,

At that same bar, the only words Chuck Liddell spoke to me was, "Look, he'll cuff jeans." And then I look around and Chuck starts cuffing everyone else's-- like an owl goes by. Holy shit, was that why he cuffed my jeans? That's why he cuffed your jeans!

I look around like, wait a minute. I have a specific memory that night of Chuck laid out cuffing my goddamn jeans. It was because I gave him the story about Japanese selvedge denim. And he's like, I'm James, you're cute. And I look around like, wait, every male in this bar has cuffed jeans tonight. And it was just Chuck being like, I'm gonna cuff your jeans. What's funny about that, he's also like a really sweet guy because I had my, I brought like Sonny to one of the race days. And he's like, oh,

I love kids. And just, like, took care of, like, my kid the entire day. It was, like, super cool. Yeah, dude. He's, like, the coolest guy. He is actually the nicest guy. He texts me all the time, and he's like, hey, how are your kids? Yeah, he's, like, the nicest guy in the world. But he's the biggest troll ever when you go out with him. Well, because I remember that night when we were in Michigan. We were all just like, you know, Chuck Liddell decided—

That he wanted to fucking have his way with us. There's nothing we can do about it. He's chuck-fucking-Ladell. What are you gonna do? See room. There's nothing he can knock you out of. And we all just decided, like, what would that sound like? Wake up to a little dog breathing in your ear.

And it was just, it was intimidating. And just any time, and then he came into our cabin, we were hanging out, because Chuck's like genuinely a fucking great guy. He's a great fucking dude. We were just like listening to him breathe, thinking like, oh God. He does breathe loud. Oh God.

Oh, no. I tried to boop Chuck Liddell last time I saw him. You did. You very much did. What does that mean? I tried to. You tried. You know, the old fucking, like, oh, you get shit on your shirt and they look and you... Yeah, they go. That... Bro, Chuck Liddell looked me dead ass in the eyes and went...

I do that to people. And then he fucking goes, watch this shit and goes and fucking does it to some random dude. It was hilarious. You mentioned all the star power you have. And he's like,

And you can't tell that story because you're a liar. I can't imagine being more terrified. Chuck Patel booping. He was just like... Remember when he punched fucking... What? No, when he punched fucking Jones. Oh, Houston. Yeah, yeah. Because Houston was like, just like, punch me for this video. You remember that? Oh, yeah. And he was like, you sure you want me to punch you? He's like, yeah, just like punch me. It's Houston. He was like, Houston, they get paid. And he's like... Was that a liver punch?

It was like just right in the diaphragm. Just knocked the wind out of him. And then we tased him and he fell over and got concussion. That was the one I was like, I got you. Because that was the one where I was like, he won't fall back. That was the taser one. Where Chuck Liddell fucking tased him. He fell over.

Oh my god. I've seen that video because I remember reading comments like, why am I catching it? Like, why was that on me? Because you were like, oh, yeah, nobody falls backwards. Yeah, I think you say that right before he falls backwards. I'm not a fucking doctor.

If you guys haven't seen that yet, it's me and fucking Mike and Brandon in the middle of the woods. You're a cop, dude. And we were tasing Houston Jones and Chuck tases him. We're like, yeah, he's going to fall forward into the leaf. Like there's a leaf pile right there.

What is this, like a cartoon? Like the leaf pile does something? No, it was a big leaf pile. You don't understand, it was a big leaf pile. We're all standing around.

Chuck Liddell tases Houston Jones and he just stiffens up and falls backwards. Right on the barbs. Right on the fucking barbs. But like there's like a million people standing around just doing nothing. Why was it on me? Because I think you said he won't fall backwards. I didn't say that. He won't fall backwards. I was just like, alright Mike, do your thing. Everyone gave you like, okay, he knows what he's talking about.

You're the survival expert! What's that got to do with a taser? That pile of leaves will save him. And then I was just following Chuck like, I was just standing there like, just not moving. Just holding it? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm like, Chuck, turn it off. He's like,

Because it's one of the civilian ones, so it just keeps tasing for 25 seconds. You were supposed to drop it and just run. Remember when we were doing our own taser video out at our range, and we're like, all right, everybody, we give everyone the instructions, but Tyler must have been absent at this point. And Tyler gets up and tases somebody. We're like, OK, you know, one, two, three, flick your thumb up. We're good.

Tyler gets up there and our buddy's like, yeah, three seconds, right? We're like, yeah, three seconds. And Tyler's like, bzzz.

And we're like, "Flick it!" He's like, "What?" Like, he doesn't know what to do. And homeboy gets tased for like seven seconds. Just like... To be clear, Ash did that to somebody in my unit. The guy was like, "Yeah, tase me." So she goes up there, I'm like, "Yeah, turn this off." She's like, "Yeah." It's Ash, right? So she's like this, she's like, "Dude," and he's like, "Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!" And everyone's like, "Turn it off!" She's like...

He's like,

i can already tell this is going to be my favorite episode to film it's going to be like eight to ten all right like we're having way too much fun for this to do well yeah yeah the ones you put that's how it that's how it goes if i see a 10 out of 10 i do contemplate same yeah yeah it's a youtuber thing yeah yeah i was gonna say like 99 of the audience doesn't know what 10 out of 10 means i actually pulled all the bullets out just in case

It's clear. That 10/10 grind set. It's clear guys, so we can totally point it in our mouths. What if it was actually one of those little pin guns, you know those tiny little ones? Oh I've got a couple, yeah. Yeah, and you're just like "hee hee" but you put like a little needle through your brain. Do you have a tiny gun that works? Oh I've got a few, yeah. Like an act- like a shooting tiny gun? Yeah. What's the small one? Have you done a video on it? I've got a 2mm. Yeah, I've actually got a couple. It's a Koot Calibri, right? Calibri. Well, so I've got one of the AKs and I've got one that's actually like a hidden watch pistol.

I'm going to be doing that soon. I mean, do you guys want to be a part of it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't like us anymore. I mean, I'm here for the next fucking 16 hours if you guys want to film a video. Why not? Yeah, fuck filming tomorrow, dude. I don't think Cordo is going to like this. That's actually one video that we could film in my fucking house because it's a fucking two millimeter gun. Wait, that would be hilarious if we actually filmed it indoors.

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Now I know what your wife feels like.

Bro, the kid at my skate shop. I feel like a Make-A-Wish kid. Mike Jones just spit in my face. It doesn't take much. The fucking kid at my skate shop is going to be like, why did the police come in and hit me again today? Again. I don't know, buddy. I don't know. Twice as much as normal. Is it because I'm driving an old cop car? Oh, God. He keeps getting pulled over. Did your skate shop get online orders?

Not now. Ah, bummer. Hey, remember the time you sent me a skateboard and I didn't do anything with it? Oh, you too? Thanks. Yeah. Thanks, guys. You never sent me one.

Alright, I guess it's Bully fucking Cody podcast again. Cody, if you sent me a skateboard, I would kickflip with it at least once. Cody, did you just bother to say something on your own podcast? You know what? Actually, you know what's funny? I've been meaning to buy a skateboard. I've just been holding out for it and I can actually stop by the skate shop. That's why I was saying if you shout, but I want to stop by. Oh, look, I have a friend here. I didn't say anything. Why are you moving me off? You think you're iconic to me?

Why don't you show us your locket? What the fuck is that? No, don't put that in the same fucking frame as me. What is it? Cody, you carry that? When I wear the uniform, yes. Oh, it doesn't fit around my neck. That's a tiny neck. Who wears that? It's a bracelet.

Why did that leave a set? We probably can't fucking include that. This whole episode is just going to pepper. Cody gets pulled over on the drive home. They're handing him his stuff. They're like, and one Hitler look. I want to get one of those just to have it if I ever get a ride.

So when the news goes up, we found him with like eight guns, couple thousand rounds of ammo, and it would walk away. Guys, I really hope that this- If this does make it in, Reddit is going to have a "Hey, hold this on!" and it would walk away.

Told you guys! Confirmed! That screenshot right there forever. You should post that to our liberal Reddit or whatever. Our slash liberal gun owners. Liberal gun owners? No, they love us. They're like, they're like, they're like, Oh, they do! No, they love us. I just vote for people that get rid of guns. Yeah, they love us. I'm like, cool, it makes sense. I love guns, I just, I hate the people who like them. Oh, perfect. We got the thumbnail.

With a red arrow in a circle blowing up the picture? Garantham loves Hitler. The name of the episode, Garantham loves Hitler. Did we tell you about the KKK guy who lives right by our range? It's bad. It's bad. It's actually cringe.

Bye. Okay, so the ranch is kind of out there, right? And you've been there, right? Yeah. But there's... Like, the first time we were driving there... To your range, to be clear. To your range, not the fucking KKK. First time we drove to your range. So we're driving, and...

No, super nice. It's like house, country house, country house, and then it's just like this collection of white tents kind of strung together. It's a giant. A trailer. A giant red cross, like on white, but not like a red cross, but like a Christian red cross, and it says Trump's president, but there's no apostrophe anywhere. More on that later. Turns out he's part of the KKK. But...

Unconfirmed confirmed. He ended up taking down the side. My favorite part was Micah's grandfather, who was a cop during like the 50s. So you know he's like hella into it. So just like your grandfather. Exactly. Do we tell this story? I told my grandpa. I was like, yeah. He's like asking me about how Idaho is. I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, Grandpa, Idaho's awesome. I love it. The range is really awesome. There's one problem.

The only issue is that on the way to the range, you know, just to the left, there's this KKK tent. And my grandpa, who's, yeah, a cop in the 60s,

He goes, ah, too bad. He's like, no. He's like, they didn't worry about you. I'm like, no, it's bad. He's kind of toned it back. First, he added an apostrophe to the Trump's president, which meant that Trump is president. He also had his phone number on the thing to come call it. Oh, that's a terrible idea. It's a small town. But he kind of toned it back.

He added horses. I think the city must have done something because every ten, every something. He toned it down because he used to have horses. No, no, he added horses. It seems much more legit now.

with the time to get outside no the signs are all gone but the t no he's gone he's gone all the signs are gone just a trailer now it's just horses okay horses were they just like you have to get it's the horses the racist he's like fine

You guys start shooting the horses like "SIR! NO!" "WHY?" *Sounds of a horse being shot* "Were you gonna be giving me the racist shit? YES!" "Okay." "Why didn't you just stay there?" "I have to be sure there are five horses." *laughs*

How much of this is making it in? At least half. At this rate, none of it. This is not the worst one you've ever done. Why do you guys have us on? It's pretty rough, not gonna lie. This is Pepperbox. We had at least eight minutes of workable content. It's only because we did a short... I feel like all the Nazi talk wouldn't be a thing if we didn't pretend to be Nazis today.

That was the talent that you're pretending you have. Yeah. Sorry I showed up in my own uniform. You just showed up in your Sunday blues. I'm already like, this is what I always wear. What am I wearing today?

You already have it on. Huh? Cody, where'd you get that? He just had to take that hat off and put on another hat. I'm ready for costuming. Because the best part about everything was, like, everyone's looking like true, like, SS John Cena. They came to fit him. So he just was, like, tight. And the straps don't go around. It's like BDSM. I'm like, what are you doing, dude?

To be fair your gauge on what is and isn't a gay porn intro is kind of a little

Fucking Caleb today, Jesus Christ. He was so funny. He went super in character. That's all I'm saying on that. I haven't seen that part. I have the video. Is it recording? I haven't seen this part. Wait, you haven't seen this? Just play it into the mic, ready? Man, if you get in with them 10 feet of van frying.

*laughter* *laughter* *laughter* You get me with that 10 feet and Frank. And frankly, that's not making it any better. You're not playing character until I punch a hole through the wall and grab her. She's writing in her diary. *laughter*

With his sweet Caleb voice too. Pay $7.99 to get this content. My wife watches this podcast and I'm going to have to ask her, how unhinged was this? It's

It's up there. Oh, it's bad. It's not the worst, but I mean, it's top ten. You guys don't look that happy about it. Oh no, this is great. This is what we do. Mike and Saul, you guys are like, oh, one cunt story talking about Nazis and we're done. Cody, you're getting so quiet. What's up, dude? What are you thinking? What did you spit? What did you spit? What was that in your pocket? I'm sorry.

I wonder if he thinks of me too.

I really hope that this comes out after the Corridor of Digital video that we made today. There needs to be so much context to this episode. Luckily, the guy who's doing the BTS for this is also editing the episode. We got a little. Okay, thank the Lord. Chase, leave it all out.

Yeah, just remove me from this episode. No, Jamie, pull that shit up. That would be so good. Okay, so what is your... You just did your video on, what, your M1 Garand? No, no, not the Garand, your M14. The M1A. M1A, M1A, M1A. Close enough. Not as cool as an M21, not as cool as an M14. Who's M1A, Springfield? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we bought it from a shop, and you got lucky. I got the same one. Okay, for whatever reason, the gun was printing like...

two to three MOA and then when we printed it on camera it did like 1.5 we were like what the fuck yeah he was like I got a lucky one I showed up to the range and Mike's like it's a two MOA gun group it I group it it's like 2.1 MOA yeah no shit and then the camera rolls and it's like 1.5 and we're like

Yeah, this is like, this doesn't happen. So, like, wind it back. Like, the M1 Grand is also like a 2 MOA gun. Like, they're not, people are like, these are like a rifle, a man's rifle. I'm like, no, they're really not that accurate. It's an old school piston gun. Yeah, same thing with the M14. The M14 wasn't a terribly accurate weapon. Now, accurized versions, yes. But the M1A, mass produced by Springfield, it's like a 2-3 MOA gun. But for whatever reason, it did...

freaking incredible in the video. I'm fucking... Minimum angle just for anyone under... It's like every 100 yards it is one inch. At 100 yards it was 1.5 inches. Meaning at 200 yards. But that was a psychotically tight group for an M1A.

But I'm over here like fucking applauding my M1A if it fucking cycles an entire fucking magazine. Do you feel like you're having problems? Oh yeah. Just send it back to Springfield, dude. Or actually send it to Fulton. He'll do a better job. I prefer the guns that don't need to be sent back. That's fair. I'm just curious why that demanded a Donald Trump impression.

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North Vietnam. Okay, for anyone wondering, I'm so bad at biology that...

Got bad reading compression. I don't know where that is on the compass. Mike was at, we were actually doing this. We were doing, I, in order to get Mike to not figure, I was like, okay, what about this country? He's like, oh, it's like here, like here. I had to Google the most obscure countries in the world and he still named three of them where they were. I was like, bro. But like I said, he memorizes shapes, patterns, all these weird things. I had a globe growing up. And then he explains he has a globe and he would study it in his free time.

That's all I had to do when I was a kid. It was a globe. I'm like, oh, this is cool. I'd spin it. You did the one where you could tap on anywhere on the globe? No, it was just like an old school globe from 1890s, so it doesn't have any East Asian countries. I'm like, yeah, Austria has Grownia, the Serbian Empire. To be fair, all that shit's way out of date now. Yeah, exactly. Anything in the fucking Balkans is pretty out of date. Oh, yeah, Yugoslavia. Yeah.

I feel like you could have told me knowing that he was a POW during Vietnam. Yeah, my dad knew I wasn't going to do anything special with my life, so, you know. Man, I wonder if Yugoslavia thinks of me too. I hope it's doing okay. Well, about that. Yeah, so it's not a country.

It's like five. It's like five. Yeah. They hate each other. So what's your next gun you're rolling into? Oh, oh. You got a couple lined up. Well, we'll probably be past with this video. We have a lot lined up, dude. The biggest thing we're doing is... The big one. Big one. Big one? Because you just did the Halo...

Oh, that was pretty cool. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Which that was an actual one-for-one. I did not know that. Michael was saying everything other than the bolt. Yeah, he did a great job. I mean, that's such a weird question for Mike because Mike has so many just stupid builds going at all at the same time. Who is this? Yeah. Who what? Who made the battle rifle? B-Squared Manufacturing. Okay. Is the guy's name. And he's not an engineer?

I thought he was an engineer. More gangster. Yeah, and he basically made a gun from scratch, from the ground up. It's not just like an AR-15 stuffed in a body kit. No, no, no, no. We're talking like its own piston system, trigger, like everything was from the ground up. It was cool. Yeah, it was very cool.

So it runs like shit. No, it ran great. I can tell you what good he is. Then he's a fucking Chad. And we shot it up to 300 and

No shit. Did you test the MOA on that one? No, because it had the scope. It was just a comp. It was like 8.9 thousand. That was just like perma-attached there to look the part. So you can't really group with a... Well, you can, but it's going to be tough. Should we talk about the gun you don't have coming up? Like a 10mm MP5? Oh, Jesus. Actually, we have some updates on that one. Dude, that... I will say, I was like, that was the one ammo manufacturer. They were like... We just talked to them, too.

and what's so funny you explain the situation okay okay okay so we had a we had a mp5 and 10 millimeter which as you know parts kits for are incredibly rare it's a very hard gun to source and to get manufactured cheap yes very cheap um and it's on our sot so it's also auto and anyhow we were um getting ready to test that they require a little bit of like finding like the good full powered ammo that's going to make them run because they're they're all gas or you know tuned for the uh

With the, goodness, what is it? The steel cable? Rollers. Oh, he's talking about the... Oh, the rolling recoil system. That's a roller. It's a fucking angle wedge. The fluted chamber. Oh, the lips on the Magwell, they have to seat right, right? No, there's a...

German shit's fucking complicated, dude. Dude, I swear to God I'm dying. My brain is dying. But anyhow, I should know this. But we were just getting that all figured out. So we were trying different ammo types out. So we had like 200 rounds of PPU, 10 millimeter. And my buddy Foster was out. He runs like Walter Shop Jack and stuff. I don't know if I can, can I say that? Is that well known? Sure. Sure. Anyhow. Let us know in three weeks. Okay. Anyhow, any time we mean three days.

Anyhow, one of my buddies was out and we were shooting the MP5 10mm. I'm like, look at this. He's like, that is cool as fuck. So we're shooting it. It was running great. And then, you know, with an auto gun that if a round's a squib, that means that there's not enough powder for the slug to exit the barrel, but can sometimes be enough to eject the case and cycle the weapons. That's what happened on auto. You can't catch it. It'll just be a shorter pop than an explosion because that next round's going to impact. So the thing is, is like...

on 9mm it's really not a big deal 9mm MP5 can handle that no problem however 10mm is a

It's got a lot of ass. It's a lot of pressure, man. So on a 10 millimeter barrel, no matter, because a lot of people commented, they're like, how did the barrel split? Because the barrel fucking bananted. And they were like, well, how did that happen in an MP5? Like, are these shit barrels? I'm like, no, these are great barrels. It's just 10 millimeters, a lot of pressure. And so it bananted the barrel. And my buddy, it was like one of those old school Surefire lights. It's like 700 bucks, dude. Is that what saved his fucking hand?

hand. It did. It took the brunt of it. And the barrel did fail the way it was supposed to, which is banana, and it takes a lot of the kinetic force from behind the blast. So he was fine. It just shatters the handguard. He was like, holy shit. And I was like, he was like, and the first thing he says, he goes, sorry, dude. I'm like, no, dude, are you okay? Yeah, I'm like, dude, are you okay? He goes, yeah, I'm fine. I was like,

Well, we'll make a cool video, but we didn't get the part of it exploding on film. But anyhow. That sucks. So Francis from, what's his company? Last Shot. Last Shot. So he has a contact over at PPU. They're probably going to be so pissed when I'm telling this story, I don't give a fuck. So he's like, yeah, we'll reach out. And so he has to email him like four times before they reply. And then they're like, man, we didn't see the other emails.

And so, in this time, I've made memes, of course, so they probably hate me. But the guy calls me. I saw it immediately as soon as you put it up on fucking social media. I'm just like, ooh, I would hate to be fucking with you right now. I've seen like two hours, 1,300 comments. There's like a right way to respond and a wrong way, and they're like, let's do the right way. Like I was telling you earlier, I'm like, if I was like anybody related to fucking people who use social media, I'd be like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck.

What's the cost of a barrel? What's the cost of a thousand rounds of ammo? Gunsmithing costs everything. Here you go. Without anything in return, here you are. He finally calls me between shots while we're filming today. And he's like, hey, this is blah blah PPU. I'm like, oh, hey, what's going on, man? He goes, well, you know, we don't know what happened. A lot of people just lie about it to get a gun, to just get a free gun. I'm like, bro, you're...

blow up my gun. I have the lot number. He's like, we don't know. We need to take a look at that barrel. I'm like, there's a squib and another partial round. You really look at the barrel and there is a whole piece of brass and another whole piece of brass. He's like, well, I'm not saying, but people can lie about this. I'm like, you're saying that I am lying about this blowing up the gun. He's like, well, we just want to take a look at it. At this point, my pitchfork is lit.

I was very surprised at the response. You don't even like pitchforks. Interesting. I had a Francis from AZ and this is what they said. He's like, God.

Damn it, dude. He's like, why? Dude, companies, we... Nick. We had a tire... Do we want to talk about the VFW right now? Oh my God, you're right. Do we have a veteran with a sign that wants to come over here and talk about the guy in here? Come on in here. What happened? Get in here, get in here.

Dude, this is because we had this incident with a wheel, and they did the exact same fucking thing. That didn't work out. No, no. They were like, the wheel's not bent. It's you guys. And it just kept coming back on me. I was like, no, the wheel's fucking bent. It's out of round. It's out of round. I sent it back. Four months. And I told them multiple times, hey, let's fix this issue without going to social media. I don't want to go to social media. Four months, and...

Back and forth. I spent $300 or $400 to ship that one wheel back that was out of round. I was like, hey, you can balance it. It's fucking bent. And then they kicked it back. They're like, no, it's on you. The wheel's fine. I was like, you can balance it. It's out of round. It does not matter. Once you hit 30 miles an hour, it's going to fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Like, nope, it's on you. What we will do is give you 5% off your next wheel.

That's pretty good. 5%? The other part that pissed me off is I've been following you on Instagram and you had fucking videos on Instagram of you at a machinist shop hooked up to the fucking dial indicator and the needle's just fucking going like this. He went full spectrum proving that it's out of round. This is the easiest thing. It's probably because you're just not likable.

I know that. I know that. But holy shit. What the hell, dude? But instantly, boom. We do one episode. It was four months. They kicked it back. They're like, no, we're not doing anything. We'll give you 5% off your next wheel purchase. I was like, so I have a fucking $2,000 weight.

It's not around to remember it. Dude, editing this is going to be a nightmare. I'm always going to have a blast. And then they just like, no, get fucked. So they're like, okay.

And then we did one episode. Ten minutes. Four Star made it right really quick. Four Star was like, "Oh, that is not our company. That is the only company that manufactures outside of us." And then they threw them, like instantly threw them under the bus. And then getyourwheels.com, they went from like a four rating to a 1.2 on Google. A Google rating? Oh yeah, they were like, "Y'all are fucking evil." What is this wheel for? For Porsche. Yeah.

Why did you say one wheel? I thought you said one wheel. Well, one wheel was out of line. One singular rim. One wheel. That's like the fucking... To be clear, Mike... If you asked Mike to name a car, he'd be like, uh...

He's just dying. You think I'm just chilling on a one wheel? I'm that autistic? He's like, yeah. Bro, once I reach 30 miles an hour. Every time I hit my one wheel over 60, it gets a lot of little baby. I had a dial indicator. No shot.

It's booing. I'm just serving. The amount of social anxiety I feel like. I don't know what to do right now. I'm actually retarded. Oh, fuck. And then we have Mr. Zach. Hi. He just dealt with the VFDF, VFW. When is this coming out? Probably in a month.

- Probably in a month. - To be honest, it's probably coming out in like-- - I can talk about it. I can kinda talk about it. - We're talking about it on Twitter. - We're talking about it right now. - What are our terms of surrender?

I don't know if I can publicly state that because of the stuff we talked about earlier. Okay, but I can. No, so... What stuff earlier? Which things in particular? So the VFW... Was it Fallout? No, me and Brandon were talking about something else. So the VFW... Picked a fight. Picked...

Used me in their marketing campaign. They picked to fight with you directly. Yeah. I don't get it. So here's how it works. When veterans go to file for their benefits, there's two options. Mainly, there's non-for-profit options, which are veteran service organizations, and I suggest everyone start with that. Most states, like Tennessee, for instance, has a really good –

Local county officials you can go to, and usually they're like retired guys who are looking for something to do to give back to the community. Or there's options where you can pay to have someone help you with your benefits. Now, there are companies that take what's called back pay, which means they take a percentage of your disability payment after helping you to do that. Mainly it's lawyers who are doing really –

fucking shady predatory stuff, right? And so this company called Remedical, which I'm not the only person to ever do an advertisement for them. Weird, nobody attacked you the way they did me publicly. I don't know why. It's so crazy because they thought you didn't have friends like we do.

We all do. I don't know. But like... Pick on the one with the... Yeah, pick on the one with the cardboard. You're way cooler than me. I don't know why they do that. That's not even close. I don't know. And the one they chose was so bad. Like the guy... So...

Like all I said, what, what about the guy? Yeah, I'll get to that. But there's, there's two options. So there's two options. And I want veterans to have more options because there's this whole industry that's developed because there is an insane backlog of veterans getting the benefits they need and deserve. Like yours aren't even correct. And you have what?

What do you have? Your license plate? Oh, Purple Heart. And like, it's not, that's, well, that's my, I'm retarded. Well, but that's, but that's my, that's my, I was bad at myself. My point is that his, like, everyone across has this experience where it's really kind of a nightmare to get it done. It took me seven years and I literally had to call the secretary of the VA at the time because he published his cell phone number and,

Bob McDonald, he was like, "The VA sucks, I'm gonna fix it. "Cell phone numbers 123-4567-8910." - That's an easy number, though. - Well, yeah, I know. He left six months later, 'cause he's like, "The ship's bad." - The ship's bad. - I mean, honestly, that's one of the best comparisons you've ever made, though, 'cause for me as a civilian, to understand it, you're like, hey, it's like having a, yes, you are constitutionally, you are-- - Of a lawyer thing? - Yeah. - You have a right to an attorney, right? By the Bill of Rights, yes, you have a right to an attorney, however,

You know, do you want a public defender all the time? No. Sometimes you want a private sector attorney. And in fact, most of the time you want a fucking private sector attorney. Yeah. It's like, yes, you have a right to be able to seek private legal counsel for things like this. And like that, that seems like a similar situation. It's just like TurboTax. Like you pay someone help with your taxes. You can file for free. What do you mean as a civilian?

Fuck you. Yeah. We're not doing this right now. The quick note that people who walk through Adelaide in the military that they don't understand is that they're like, well, why wouldn't you get a disability? It's like, because when you're in, you're just trying to do your job. Sometimes you're just like, yeah, I'm good to go, but you're messed up. And so you're not documenting. And if you don't document, the VA doesn't count it. Perfectly too. Right?

Documented perfectly. But if you document it and you do stuff and you say you're injured, you're also, you'll very quickly, at least in my time, you'll get made non-deployable and you're non-promotable. You might as well be dead to them. We literally like pushed people out. We put them in different platoons because they were like injured or if they said I'm having trouble after like Ramadi, I remember these guys. We treated them horribly. They were like get away from us. I didn't do it. All the senior guys did. So like it's this thing that kind of carries on forever. But the point is, the point is I want people, yeah.

The point is I want people to choose, and I literally didn't say pick this first or whatever. I want people to have the right to choose in the same way I chose to hire a CPA to do my taxes because I'm a fucking idiot, and I can pay him to do it, and he's a subject matter expert. So you mean you have a right to choose to believe that the government is not as good at doing things as the private sector? What did Ronald Reagan say? The scariest words? I'm in the government, and I'm here to help.

Scariest thing? Ronald Reagan said that. You know what I'm terrified fucking saying? Straight up, that is a Reagan quote through and through. Yeah, he literally said that. So I was just like diddy bopping around a few weeks ago now doing dad stuff. Hold on. They offered me and you and... I didn't know if we wanted to talk about that. The VFW offered all... Well, not them directly. They offered an agency that we work with

The one need to have us promote them and under the guard act under the guard, which makes it. So they're the only ones that can do VA claims and we all declined. And then they attacked him rich. We all declined. And then they went after the one with the lowest follower count and thought there wouldn't be repercussions. Yeah.

So because I literally – so there's the Guard Act. The Guard Act restricts all access to veterans' benefits other than like three VSOs. Again, the issue is so big they can't handle it on their own. And so then they have the PLUS Act, which is like a response to that being like, hey, we can make a credentialing thing. People can still have the right to choose. I'll always support that. That's the fucking way of America, the right to choose. Let's add regulations to the free market. Because like I'm not going to say who, but –

all of our management company was like, hey, if you do this, if you do the, remember, he's like, if you do the plus act that shuts the door on anything else, I go, I don't care. And I remember talking to him and we talked to Rich and I was like, yeah, but I don't want to. What do you mean? Like, no matter who does our management, we actually have the right to choose what we want to do. We literally, they go fucking crazy. You mean they send us stuff like every month and they're like, this is what we have for you. Do you accept these one, two, three? And you go, yes, yes, or no. BFF, BFF.

The VFW. Oh, yeah. Go back to it. Trying to attack you. Yeah, so I just woke up to them tweeting, and they used my real name, and they're like, hey, Zachary Bell. Dressed up like you. Don't lie about it. And then, well, they got as close as they could. They got the best version of the VFW member to dress like me. And they basically alluded that I was lying.

And like targeting veterans with predatory companies. And then they doubled down for weeks, like just weeks. While they were doing this, this is right below their pin tweet. And their pin tweet had a flyer that said, hey, look out for all these predatory companies. And they had a list of all the companies that they thought were predatory. A list that they make and they have the criteria. And they can change whatever they want. ReMedical wasn't even on it. Yeah.

I'm sure it is now. It is now. Well, but yeah, it is now, but they don't have the paid-for version of Adobe. So what they did is they pasted it over. This is true. No way. Yeah, no, I swear to God. They pasted it over some random company. I imagine some Vietnam vet like being bearded live.

He's just making it. He's like, God damn, Zachary Bell. He's literally saying, how do I fuck over a veteran as much as I can? Post to Facebook. Oh, dude, it's...

How do I delete a tweet? How do I delete Facebook? He's like, what font do I use? What does that mean? It's like re-medical. It's pretty good. I was just going about my life and the BFW attacked me. I'm impressed they did it. I hate I can see this so good.

You should see the comments in the comments, especially on Twitter. So, like, I've gained, like, this, like, unsub audience with, like, veterans audience and then Rich. And then Nick comes in there, and it is chaos. It's just people being like, take this down, boomers. You have no idea what you've started. And so now it's just people being like, apologize to Zachary Bell. Apologize to Zachary Bell, like, every single day. They get...

They get community noted. They continue to do it. The long and short of it is I hope it's resolved by the time this comes out. But I never could have imagined that I would be in a position where the VFW is like,

Well, we want to restrict options, which is basically the scariest thing in the world to me. Like the fact the fact of the matter is, is that the number one and two things not in order of precedence, just the two things people constantly message me about, or how can I get access to mental health resources? And how can I get my benefits fixed? That is the number one and two things. And again, not like whatever, it's just, that's what comes in. And so

And so I looked for someone who can offer a solution, and it took me seven years in calling the secretary of the VA to get my benefits fixed. Not everyone has friends who have low-level ion cannons for phones. Is that what Cody calls it all the time? His phone's like a low-level ion cannon. It's a stratagem. Yeah, because the harsh reality –

is that if they'll do this to me, what will they do to anyone else? You are the VFW's 9-11. Sir, sir, a second tweet has hit the tower. Building 7, I think about it a lot. I think about Building 7 a lot.

So yeah, so thank y'all. I mean, it's been rough. I'm sorry. It's fine. It's so weird because we've all... We've done stuff for Reed because we fucking like him, dude. Because we served and we know what happens to our buddies. And so it's like, yeah, use him, dude. It's tough, man. And then they're just like...

It's everywhere. My name is everywhere. Like, I'm okay being known as a veteran with Simon. He's like, no, no, double down on his real name. And it's just me. And they're like, oh, look at this. And they're like, they reference comments as like me being warned. They're like, you were warned. I don't.

Believe it or not, I don't fucking know who strangers are in the comments section. The racially charged comments about you. They probably knew it was because below it said USMC retired in 1961. It said a real hero. I don't want to say the guy's name, but he actually apologized to me. He goes, I had no idea what I was talking about. I didn't know they were going to use it. And then they put it out there and then it wound up in Rich's video, which he just... People forget he's a detective. He literally just bodied them

Rich was rich. Rich and a special guest appearance by Nick. Rich was goddamn 40 minutes of Rich, which is incredible. Yeah. Rich going up. Oh, oh. Yeah. Just angry. You're like, uh-oh. The funniest part of the whole story is we do have one friend that was working with them.

with them. We do have one. We had one friend that was working with, yeah, we had one friend. He's a really nice guy. It doesn't matter who he is. Sure. But the VFW, after talking shit about him, they called him the next day. And this guy's like, you have no idea what you've just done.

He literally said, you should stop now. And they're like, no, we're not. And he's like, okay. It's so funny because I'm trying to imagine a picture with the social media manager for the PNW. It looks like he's eating. I know what he looks like. Dial up Aaron.

up internet. I know what he looks like and so does Rich. See his video. It'll explain everything. He used to send the messages to me. I see Q still in the background. He's like, time to go on the internet. AOL dialogue. Come on.

It's like Zachary Bell, hate him. Typing way too fast. Meanwhile, I was like, would you like to play a game? He's like, you got messages. He's like, god damn it. Time to close out solitary.

Solitary. Solitary. Dude. So like all they have to do is be like, Hey, yeah, our bad. I would, yeah, I would, I would do that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what I really said. I don't, I don't really want to fight with the VFW because I just don't care. And obviously there's generational gaps and they're, they're desperate, desperate for members. And like, they don't understand, but like, what's weird is like people are writing like what to do and be like, just apologize to them. And they're like,

nah, we're just going to retweet stuff. We're just going to continue to comment. I even have post commanders being like, the VFW sucks. This is the worst. And people are messaging me being like, the old people. We can click that button that looks like the square with the two arrows on it, and we can expand our reach. Yeah. They're not expanding their reach. Yeah, so I would much prefer that they helped us help veteran...

It's just why- I know why people don't like veterans, 'cause we fucking suck. Like, this is why. This is why nobody wants to help veterans. You ever hear about St. Jude and the American Red Cross beefing? No, but you hear about- you hear about- you hear about the VFW attacking me, you know? Like, and all I do, all I do is this. "St. Jude coming in, dropkicking the Red Cross, and just fucking retards!" "Hello!" "St. Jude's like-"

I hate Doctors Without Borders. I can't wait to go through a drive-thru. Did you want to round up for St. Jude or the Red Cross? Pick one. Not a chance. I can't wait to get up. I can't wait to get up out of this podcast. No, but we're the only one. So it's just like, I don't... If we can't be better, why can we expect anyone to take us seriously? So I just never thought that this is... I mean, this is what I do. You want to see...

That's- that's like me and- sometimes I do this. It's so bizarre though. Hang on, here's a good one. That's it, and they're like, "Him." Three individual meme templates right there. Oh yeah, last time I did that with the donkey, I forgot about that. What the fuck did you just say to me? What did you do to a donkey? No, I didn't- brother, I didn't do anything to a donkey.

I didn't do anything to a donkey. What's so weird about it is like if they have a problem with these companies, go after the companies. But like going after you individually is so predatory. It's so bizarre. It's like the most bizarre thing I've ever heard in my life. They wanted to try and make an example out of me. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Which is crazy because like – I would have hit just who follows him.

But like for real, what would they do to anyone else? A normal person, just ignore them, not talk to them, treat them bad. I mean like my whole, the whole way I provide for my family is a jeopardy because of them lying about me. And like, they seem to have this radical disconnect from reality that because they're older and have been doing this longer than me, that like,

I'm just gonna walk away and I probably should like, I'm not. I'm not. I've been, so I've literally been working with non-profits since 2011. Like, as soon as I got out because when I got out when the GWAT was hot and coin was cool, like, yeah. Yeah, dude, those were the- Michael was the gayest at this table. Yeah. Like, it was gnarly. It was gnarly. No gayness or that. Yeah. I was gay. I was gay.

You're not from around here, are you? Holy shit. Now we attack Zack. That's fine, just fine. Did you do that campaign? I gotta wipe the PFW. Oh my god.

He's got some good points. He's got some good points.

I think we just attack everyone in that chair. Oh god. Cody, it's not used to chairs. I think it's the amulet. It's got some type of power or something. Yeah, weird. It's got the power to lose a world war.

I can't breathe.

I'm going to drink this. This will definitely settle my... This whole podcast will settle my beef with the BW. I can't wait for the meme of you sitting on the couch with a sign and just a bunch of old men with funny hats standing behind the couch you're sitting on. Mike would love the start of this one.

So it's like, you just tweet the VFW, like, "Eight veterans, a congressman, and a Mormon walk into a bar." All the Mormon! Joseph Smith's a false prophet! Where's the salamander? Where's the salamander? Oh my god. Yeah, so... It was a joke. I'm not a role model. I'm not to be able to perform lines to my friends.

Our voices are just fucked. My voice is shot. See, that was my week. So, month, actually. Dude, it's funny because I got hit up by the game, dude. That's why. Yeah, they're like fucking him up. I'm like, who? They're like, the BMW. I'm like, who?

Who? It's like a bingo card. It's like far, far quarters. It's like the DFW attacking. That was not a 2024. I didn't see it coming. Did anyone have that on their bingo card? No one. Yeah.

Yeah, the BFW, the guys with... Who are they? I don't know. I haven't been to one. When's the last time you've been in a BFW? I have years. Oh, my God. Let me explain. Micah just clapped his fucking... As soon as I got into SEAL Team 3. Oh, my God.

I've talked to actually- WHAT? Why are you laughing? Is my service a joke to you? No sir, no sir, no sir, no sir Remember when Charlie jokes? So, Charlie is this running joke where he's like, they'll be like, "Oh, like Mike, yeah, Air Force, anyone else here served?" And Charlie will immediately go like, "Oh yeah, I was a SEAL."

And so we were filming one of the urban evasion videos out behind some restaurant in Boise. And this lady walks out, and she's like, oh, what are you guys doing? I'm like, oh, we're just doing some photography for clothing. She's like, oh, that's cool. And then she starts talking about some military stuff. And someone's like, oh, yeah, Mike's in the Air Force. I'm like, yeah, I was in the Air Force. We were in camo jackets. No, no, we weren't in camo jackets. I was. Oh, yeah, you were. And it came up. And then Charlie always does a joke. He's like, yeah, I was a SEAL. And she goes, oh, that's cool. What team were you on?

And he literally goes, no one ever questions it. No one asks. Or you're going to choke now, like this is the point of the joke. And Charlotte's like, ma'am, where did you get this knowledge? I'm like, oh, he's on the East Coast teams. He's okay. But then he still choked. I'm like, god damn, you suck. And then she starts naming off, like, do you know so-and-so? And then listing people. Jesus Christ. The one woman. Yes. Yes.

In my mind she's like bone frogs Charlie's pretty real right he'll be like oh no like yeah I didn't get got I didn't get got this one time he's like you laugh way too hard at that That was one you're just like I wish you didn't bail him out

I know. Well, I felt so bad for you. It was a really rough, even I was like secondhand embarrassment. Like, this is bad, guys. Come on, say something. Oh, he's so cool under pressure. Yeah. Like, out of the six, he couldn't kiss. I'm like, just say it. Just say it. Two. Yeah, he's like, two. He's doing a half. Yeah.

Just start coughing We're gonna try to do that with brains

No, you're not. I'll do that. Why are you not providing service to your country? Thank you. Do you have a purple heart? Oh, I've been talking to my family. Oh, we're trying to, we're actually going to show how effective re-medical is.

BFW's like, this is what we're talking about. This is what we're talking about. They add Brandon's name to claim charts. I'm talking about getting you a V8 rating because I think it would be so good. I literally could not think of a more effective way to undermine Zach.

I think it's showing how good they really are. You have no idea how much money the VFW has. It is a fucking Reddit meme from the start. It's literally re-medical. What does re-medical stand for? Never mind. Picture you coming on the podcast with 100% disability.

It would be like, "How did you get that done?" He's really good at this. He's like the really good "Eli, you took my disabled veteran parking spot, and you moved the car." "Bro, I don't know, I just, I got in with the gun guys, I started a podcast, and now I don't pay property tax." Do you not pay property tax in Texas, if you're a vet? 100% disabled, I think. Most states it's 100%. Idaho, what the fuck? Yeah, you pay, you pay, you pay, you pay-- Dude, you should run!

For cars. Aaron actually made a meme and it was like, "Has been cancelled on Liberal Gunners." "Has been cancelled on Liberal Gunners." Or "Has been called a Nazi on Reddit." For me, it was specifically noted, "Has yet to be cancelled on Reddit." I'm doing my best to be cancelled on Reddit. Do your thing, Colin. Subreddit. To be cancelled on Reddit proper is kind of hard. Is it? It's easy, dude. Really? I haven't had a thread yet about me. I want one. I got one about. You want one of mine?

You can't just give it away. You can't just give it away. I feel like so... To be clear, the hot thing to be cancelled for is like, "Oh, that guy? I feel like it's too easy." He's like, "He's a Nazi!"

That's the easiest one. Oh, you'd fucking think so, wouldn't you? They call everyone Nazis. I made one thumbnail that said communism sucks. And now you're a Nazi? There's a whole thread talking about how I'm a moron. Actually, actually, communism works. It's like, where? Name one. Bro, I just, I watched his fucking face change. Like, it just went like, whoa.

North...

Vietnam is a great example of communism. Like, bro, they're covered in KFCs and McDonald's. No. No. No. No. Brandon Herrera veteran? This pops up at the top. No! Yes! Yes! No! Dude. You're Googling it. You look like you're auditioning for Sicario. No.

Brandon has so many medals. Hey, can you, uh... Oh, there we go. Thank you for that. I gotta see this shit. That's Google. Brandon Herrera veteran. That's on Reddit. What type of ribbon stack? Brandon, can I... Why is there a picture of me below this? Can I apologize? Hell yeah. For what? I've never even... Like, we've been friends for... Ever since Garanthum. I already hate you for whatever... Thank you for your service once.

So during the live shows, can you hand me my phone?

That's unlocked, isn't it? But no, we don't go through photos. Where is your hidden folder? They're not hidden. I'm not a man of class. You know what that was? That was fucking...

I was going to say that was instant karma. I know. I was like, okay. I'll pull up this. I'm going to fuck with my brother, bro. Oh my God. You learned your lesson. Zero percent. I don't even want to. No, I wasn't.

When you scroll down from that one, it just populates with Brandon and me. It's a big deal, Brandon. Did you know this was a thing? Oh, yeah. It's a big deal. No, I know this cocksucker right here is why this is a thing. You seem less than amused. Oh, my God. Like when you meet with your campaign team or whatever.

You have no fucking idea the amount of people that will show up to a campaign event. Like 95% of people are like normal fucking consenting, like normal adults that will show up and just like, oh yeah, I know how the difference between fact and fiction. Everything populates after that image of Brandon.

Oh yeah, it's 100% my fault. Oh yeah. I'm sorry. Because of the fucking Memorial Day episode. Veterans Day episode. Was it Veterans Day? Yeah. It was one of the two. After that, Jesus fucking Christ, the amount of people that will... I pinned him with the Purple Heart. He tried to pin me with the Purple Heart. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because I rejected the fucking stolen valor. You rejected a Purple Heart recipient's Purple Heart, dude?

Wow. I think that's worse. That's pretty bad, Brandon. He earned it. He earned it. That's crazy. He said, brother, I give this to you. And you said no? Do you understand what the purple heart represents? Being bad at your job? Did you know that all? Leave that part in. We should 100% try to do like an early 2000s. You know, remember when like the early 2Ks stolen valor videos on YouTube were hot, right? Everyone's like, oh, stolen valor with their phones. We should do that in front of them.

- You know, nobody has sabotaged my professional career more than my fucking professional business partners.

It would be funnier if we got an actual Medal of Honor recipient to get accused of stolen valor by Brandon. That would be hilarious. Do we have Clint Romashay coming on? Clint Romashay's episode, we already named it. It's like Medal of Honor recipient and Clint Romashay. Yeah.

And the title is Clint putting it on Brandon. Hey, that's all we need for this thumbnail. That's pretty good. I love how R.I.E. is not laughing. I mean, Brandon's like, I fucking hate all of you. You guys have no idea the amount of fucking cortisol pumping through my fucking brain. You should get Kyle White on, too. He's another cool Medal of Honor recipient. Is he? Yeah, he's cool as fuck, dude. I haven't met that one. Yeah, he's cool. He comments on our channel all the time.

I don't know if you're fucking with me. No, no! I'm like, I'm in defense mode right now. Genuinely, cool dude. Really nice guy. When did he get pinned? Uh, I think it was like '08. Oh shit. You should get that Staff Sergeant who gave that speech. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

We don't care who you look like. I need to read his story. He's cool, dude. He's really nice. You know what the best part of the podcast when it was me and administrative results was? Neither of us were in the military.

And it never went to this because I was never in the military and I don't understand it. I feel comfortable. He hates himself. This is the fun. You hate veterans? I hang out with him all day and this is all I get. You're basically a fucking Purple Heart recipient. Why do you hate veterans? Yeah, why do you...

Why do you hate veterans? Why do I hate veterans? You want to know why I hate veterans? I hate veterans because of Michael Jones. That's all the merch we need. I hate veterans because of Mike Jones. That is the first ever unsub patch.

oh you're not gonna like what the prize inside

Or is he? Wait, do you hear that music that opens when it starts to- *singing* Hey, give me back my fucking locket, dude. Cause Argentinian grandfather gave that to him. Chase, when he opened it, play the Halo soundtrack. *sounds of excitement* We should try to do an unsung acapella. Oh, okay. Ready? I wasn't- Wait, what are we doing? Wait, wait, wait. 3, 2, 1.

I can't do it! Wait, wait. I forgot the tune. Yeah, I think we all did. No, you really forgot the tune. No, no, no. I got it. You went too quick. I think we all just kind of nailed it. Do my somebody. Brian did it like, I'm too autistic to be able to participate in this.

I think the best part about this episode is that we prove he is legitimately autistic. Yeah, we know that, though. The shapes, the patterns, the jokes. Yeah, we know. Dude, I've made my business about being autistic. You guys don't know this? He hasn't been lifting weights. They just put weights inside of the train set he plays with. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

Ashley, my train's over! I'm crying! I'm crying! I swear to God, it's my kids, not mine. Oh, that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! That was so good!

Oh no! I was fucking bent over. Man, every gym pic you post on Instagram now is gonna be full of comments and shit. Like, damn, that train's getting fucking heavy. The train's getting big, huh, buddy? Damn, Thomas getting thick.

Yeah, that's all I picture of you. Oh, shit, I didn't drink enough.

I launched Skyrim on Mike's computer and it's the meme where when he wakes up the dragon's just on his bed and taking it and flying through it. It's a really cool monitor. I do the ENV injectors sometimes. I just play some music when he flies in it. Here's the real litmus test. What is the name...

Of the like the coal, uh, the coal train. You're doing great. In Thomas the Choo-Choo Train. Do you know the name of him? The black train. Do you know the name? No. Oh, that's good. Okay, you're doing good. It's Diesel. Is it really Diesel? Wrong. Yeah. Is it not Diesel? Wrong. What is it?

I just pictured that hard cut to Cody is just his feet in frame. My kid watches Thomas the Choo Choo Train. Thomas the Choo Choo Train? What is it called? Thomas the Tank Engine. Fucking retard. My kids for some reason obsess with Top Gun Maverick right now. It's like, oh, he'll watch. Probably because of...

It's a badass song, dude. Dude, if you've never fucking been on a bike listening to that, you've never lived. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah, we just got those new e-dirt bikes. Have you guys been on electric bikes before? Yeah, they're cool. They're terrifying. What is it, Aventon? No, no, no, no, no. Aventon sucks.

No, no, we're talking dirt bikes. Thank you for watching. Don't subscribe. Fuck yeah. No, it's like an actual dirt bike. Like dirt bike, dirt bike. Yeah. And eat like just instant RPM. 72 volt battery. 100% power if you pin it. So death machine. Yeah. Is it like zero?

It's newer. It's meant for more off-road. So like Zero is meant for like the streets. These are meant for like... These aren't meant for the streets, dude. It's not no street walker. Anyway, yeah, my buddy got on one of those. I told him not to pin it. First thing he did was pin it. And it wrecked it. It wheelied and broke the bike immediately.

No shit. Yeah, you gotta get power. It's a fucking electric bike. It's a Tesla. Where did my phone go? So in my neighborhood, my HOA actually had a meeting about it. Did they actually have a meeting? Actually. If there's anything that gets Micah butt frustrated, yeah, it's like when you clench your butthole, you're so mad. It's his HOA. He hates his HOA. I hate HOAs more than the ATF.

Jesus Christ. No, he's actually... Dude, he is mad. I will go to war with HOAs. To be clear, they kind of do fuck with him. I'm just gonna say... Like an extra 20 minutes and they find him like $100. God hates HOAs.

Like a hundred bucks are like, after the trash is taken, you have to take your trash can in. Ever since then, I have been waiting up until the last minute to put my garbage back behind my thing. You were the whitest human I've ever met. Thank you. A true symbol of defiance. Waiting until the last minute to take your trash out. Wait.

Wait, yeah, here it is. I don't know if you guys can hear this, but this is just me from literally... There's only three houses.

It's in a cul-de-sac. It's just me on an electric plane. Did they say that you couldn't do that shit? Weirdly. Damn it. You gotta get an e-dirt bike. I think on that note, we're gonna close. I was about to talk about my stray cat. Wait, you're gonna talk about what? My stray cat. While you throw a fucking 1911 on the fucking table? I've got a real one.

It's not a fake one. Yeah, you're right. Cody, lead us out, Grave. We doing it? Yeah. Thank you guys for joining the unsubscribe podcast. I just want to know, dude. Are we so cool? I like you a lot. Hey, I love you, dude. Say it back. You say it back. I love you.

I bet you were going to close out. That was sensual. We're joined by Eli. You're like, oh, man. We're joined by Mike's cock. Mike! Sorry, go ahead. Thank you guys for joining the unsubscribed podcast. We're joined today by Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Garan Thumb, Micah Mayfield, and fat electrician, myself, Donut. Thank you for coming out for this.

Don't tell anybody.