163 - Modern Art Is A CIA Psyop & TikTok Vs The Fat Electrician | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 163
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Daddy's getting drunk. Step one, establish the distance. This is a Christian Minecraft server. Someone finds our group text and they're like, oh God. Watch, not updated since the 29th. I'll keep it quick. Thank you all so freaking much. You are absolutely amazing humans. Watch this. Let's go to your videos. Let's go to... There are 64 comments.

64 people left you a message! Yes. You wanna see what else there is? Yes. They're saying nice things to you! You all made that little boy smile. You all made that reaction. That stimming, that happiness, it's all thanks to you. I ain't gonna cry, don't worry, I ain't gonna cry.

But holy moly, thank you all from the bottom of my heart, from all of us over here at Unzun. Also, for Pepperbox at the App Store, make sure you leave a review and five stars if you can. It helps the program. And thank you guys for kicking ass in that. And whether you're listening to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or whatever program you use, if you can leave five stars and leave a review, we truly appreciate it. It helps boost us in the algorithm, and we are in the top five.

30 comedy podcasts in the world now thanks to you freaking amazing humans thank you all love you dude how many two of the hosts are just shit wrecked already it's fine well yeah which two that's what the question is were you with them for for brunch yeah you were the both of us we were there for two hours before you got there yeah that's true yeah yeah

I like that justification why you're drunk. We were there early. I mean, yeah. I am actually confused why you're confused. We were running on fucking Eli time. What were we going to do? Not drink? What's going to happen? He gets to fucking the brunch place. Where's all the rum gone?

We showed up and Cody looks at the waiter and is like, do you want me to close out that table? We're going to move to a bigger table and do this again immediately. Jesus. And we did. Yeah. There's a brief awkward moment when the server's like, oh, oh, oh. And then our homeboy's just like, no, it's fine. We just stack tables across the main. We know what they're doing. We own this place. He parts the Red Sea minimum wage servers.

Jesus Christ. I missed you too, buddy. Good. We should get Bernie Sanders on the podcast, actually. I know that you say that. I am once again asking you to be on my podcast. I'll fly out to your second or third vacation home. We can film it there if you want. Why does 1% of the podcast have 80% of the slurs?

This is a good start. We are two minutes in. Do we have a lime? I got one. A limey? They got lemon. You got a bush. You want the green boy. Did you just ugh bush? I'll do a watermelon. Thank you. Cody's going to need more. It's called being proactive. I'm definitely going to fall asleep. I'm so happy.

What, we're not going out? Oh, you handed me peach? Eli, I know you're gonna beat my ass, but I'll fight you for handing me peach. Okay, watermelon. It's like fucking the Sistine Chapel. Reaching out to God. Cody, do the thing! We're doing the thing? No, you gotta do your thing first. Wait. No, we do the pop. Yeah. Three, two, one. Did you get drunk?

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by Eli, double fat, fat electrician, Brandon Herrera, and myself, donut operator. Eli, are you gaslighting us right now? That was always the order, right? Yeah. Am I retarded? For what? I swore we did Cody's then the countdown. No, we cracked the cans. No, you cracked the cans and then do it. Is your PTSD like flaring up?

right now what's the tbi i'm not shooting you right now i'm not shooting you how do you spell chick-fil-a what university you from how do you spell berenstein you mean berenstein it's chic okay can we fucking just get past that the comments are gonna be like we're probably we've been drinking in it multiple ways i don't give a fuck what you say fruit of the loom always had that goddamn

They proved that. Did you see that girl prove it? No. They've always had the basket. There was a girl on... No, they didn't. And this girl messaged Fruit of the Loom on TikTok. She gained like a million followers just from this. And she like flew off the handle like crazy. Cornucopia is what it's called. She's like, they didn't have the...

wicker basket in it. I know it was there and she like went to old thrift stores and eventually found like old ass shirt. That's what people remember. That's what it was. Yeah. No, that's what everybody remembers. But they're like, no, that never happened. And she messaged Fruit of the Loom and they're like, yeah, it's never been like that. We don't know why people think that. And then she went to like Goodwill and found shirts with the cornucopia and like proved them wrong. It's this whole conspiracy theory. If we're talking about Mandela effect real quick. Here we go. Can I talk about fucking Chick-fil-A for a moment since Eli...

and brought it up that was nick no that was the last universe keep up i might be a little drunk since brunch don't worry about it guys but i specifically remember

fucking dating girls who worked at Chick-fil-A and I would go into the mall and they would joke about how it's Chic-fil-A. It's because you dated girls who couldn't spell. No, no, no. They would be like, oh, it's Chic-fil-A. Way to shit on everyone that works at Chick-fil-A. C-H-I-C. And I remember seeing C-H-I-C on the fucking sign. Is it a C-I-C? There's only C-H in it now. C-H-I-C-K.

I remember I always thought it was C-H-I-K. Babe, you weren't there. Nah, it's bullshit, dude. Bullshit. Yeah, she was a manager. This is horseshit. I don't believe any of this. She's in on it. The frogs are gay. Hey, the frogs are gay! I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm kind of retarded. It's one of those episodes already. Yeah, we are now fucking six minutes in. Great.

Awesome. Welcome to the core four episode. The gang. Call it anything but that. Welcome to the gang episode. We'll keep that in too. Call it anything else. Fucking anything else. Welcome to this. Welcome. Hi, everyone. How y'all been? We're having a good time. Nick Landon.

Brandon, you were out on a river floating. Yeah, I'm finally getting some fucking downtime for once. So I'm catching up. I was out with the girl and some of her friends, and we went out in New Braunfels. God, you look hella Mexican today. Yeah. You're going to be brown as shit tomorrow. Dude, I'm ready to cut some motherfucking grass. I'm ready to hop some fencing, bro. I'm actually burnt. I can feel. I got here. I'm like, I can't tell if I'm dehydrated or drunk.

Probably both. Both? I mean, why stop now? No. How was that? How was fucking floating? I'm not used to getting a chance to like... I threw my phone in a fucking Ziploc bag and didn't touch it for like six hours. And it felt great. I never do that. Yeah, it's...

awesome we live on our phones if you don't like and when i say live a lot of people it's like you're on your phone you get like if you if we got 50 text messages a day might sound like a lot that'd be fucking heavenly yeah you wake up to like 50 and like 30 goddamn my unread text right now 1500 my unread emails 246 000 oh yeah unread text 1828 yeah i

I have currently 567 voicemails. I always wonder what it would be like if I just took my phone and fucking threw it into a river and just never looked at it again. I've thought about it, but I'd probably go to prison for the information on that phone that I can't get back. Yeah, true.

That reset or someone finds it. Someone finds our group text and they're like, oh God. It would look like Hitler's bunker in 1945. We're all just passing the Luger around. Speaking of which, have you seen... That makes our group sound so good. Give me the... It's been leaked.

Not that I care about the political affiliation, but Senator Warren had a TikTok campaign going on right now. Elizabeth Warren. About how Apple is...

Apple is basically being mean with the group chat with the blue and the green bubbles. And she has like a whole ad airing all over. I've seen it like 20 times on Instagram where she's like, Apple is driving families apart by having different colored bubbles. And it's excluding people from the group chat. It's like poor gaming. Yeah. I was like, there's a lot of more problems besides. My thing is I have never trusted Apple less than when the government starts telling you to use them. That's also true. What if the world just stopped being fucking –

No. No. Yeah, too hard. I didn't add Jake's Android to the new group message because I didn't want fucking green text in it. Yeah. Fuck that thing. So technically... Thank you for your service. And then Jake waited three days to see the name of the group text.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. What is it currently? It was all for Jake. The currently? God damn it. We can't read any of those. I changed it this morning. Oh, yeah. It's Another Man's Jizz in My Belly Button by Zach Bryan. Which, awesome when you're driving and it's connected to your phone.

Sam's like sitting up front seat and that it's like group text. It's like, that's one day I'm going to be in court. Mr. Mr. Fat electrician. Uh, did it say X, Y, Z in the group chat? Hmm. You're gonna have to jog my memory. Which group chat was it? What's it called? Read that out loud in court, please. It's like the meme, the guy with the fucking FBI showing up with the meme printed out on the papers. Like, Hmm, boys, this shit don't look good on paper. Yeah.

It's good to have you back. I'm so excited. It's always good. We get like one month rotations of you. It's like four days, five days. And then what next week we have, we're super stoked for tomorrow. Cause we have our boy, mighty mouse, Demetrius Johnson. Demetrius Johnson is coming on. It's going to be awesome. We're all going to fight him. What? The same time. The same time. At the same time, we almost might win. The,

Send Nick in. Hold him down. To be honest, I was thinking about this like...

I don't even know if I'd want to fight him if I had a gun and he didn't. He's so fucking fast. I feel like I'd still miss. Is that weird? Like he's teleporting? You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's like the little blue guy from X-Men. Right. I'd rather fight the biggest man on the planet with a gun than him. I don't know. Did you see Eddie Hall fighting two normal-sized people? Eddie Hall fighting two normal- Did you see that, Cody? Yeah, I did. Dude, he fucking just chucked one. I thought he was going to body slam. Instead, he's just like,

It reminded me of Pedro Pascal getting his fucking eyes broken by the mountain, just head ripped apart. Could you imagine like back in the day, like a Viking coming at you? Who's the size of Eddie Hall? And you're a normal sized person. There's nothing. There's nothing you could do. Especially if it's a huge sword. Oh God. Yeah.

Oh, God. That's why Shane Gillis is like straight Vikings versus gay Vikings. We're going to take our women and children. Then the rainbow flag comes up. Oh, man.

Fuck. They're taking everything now. I'm just stabbing myself in the neck. I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope. Jesus. Eddie Hall is a Viking. He's the most terrifying thing in the world. Which is insane because there were Vikings like the berserkers. That's insane. Did Scandinavia have enough calories for that back then? They would just hop up on shrooms and go,

Did you know that? I want to say I've been told that, yeah. Yeah, Vikings would just hop up on shrooms and just go in berserk mode and just accidentally attack their own village. Now look at them. Their navy has giant barcodes on all their ships now. Do you know that? No. What? Yeah, they put gigantic barcodes on the outside hull of all their ships. It's because they're Scandinavian, Brandon. Oh, fucking hell. What?

Good, now that we're sober. That came in like two waves for me. Sometimes I want it 23 a day. Are you ready, babe? Let's bring out Big Daddy. What a bad idea. Who wants better sex? What'd you do with my wife? Don't worry about that. She's fine. The best way to get started is by going to adamandeve.com.

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So, uh, I don't know what, I don't know what YouTube did to the algorithm, but they're gaslighting my audience into thinking I had another kid in the last like 48 hours. So I made, you know how you can do community posts, like pictures, updates, whatever you want, like a fucking Facebook status basically on YouTube. Fucking two years ago when I had my last kid cash, I'd made a post of like me and my wife at the hospital with our new baby. Like,

Sorry, no video this week. I just had a kid. I'll get to it when I can. And for some reason, that post went viral like a day ago. The algorithm picked that up? Yeah, like the algorithm picked it up and I've gotten like hundreds of comments on videos congratulating me on my new kid. It's like I haven't had a kid in two years. I can't wait to be informed in a year and a half. Thanks to the algorithm, I'm running for Congress again. Right. Oh, fuck. It's really weird.

no no no no no wait wait wait wait being served to two million people you win next year election you don't even run for the algorithm takes it back up in two years they're gonna even run uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh imagine taking like going to another runoff because of i got written in tony's like what happened why this time i feel like john snow i don't want it

Which also Brandon does not want. I like everyone right now. Right now, if we can talk about it, is that part where there's a recount, all that stuff going on. And it was like, just because how close it was, I don't even think you're like, yeah, whatever. It's like 400 votes. But I mean, still like it's within a percent. But that's what people don't realize is I think out of all federal elections that have gone to a recount since 2000, which you're talking about thousands of elections.

three have been overturned by a recount. Like statistically, this is just a non-starter. Like it's one of those things, I accept the results. You know, we just barely didn't pull it off. We did fucking great for what we had. Like we had so much going against us and we punched way above our pay grade and we did great. I'm like, I'm happy with that. But a lot of people are demanding the-

demanding a recount like what did you say earlier i'm gonna laugh so hard when you win and that's the thing this is brandon is not the one being like god damn it recount like never were you like accept it you're like oh man it was fucking even that night i was like you know what i'm just i'm thank you for my team like this is this was an amazing experience and we really i think we really sent a strong message which makes it more hilarious if it happens now because

Now that you're at peace with losing, it's like your ex-girlfriend calling you up letting you know that she's pregnant. By the way, the recount came back. It's positive. You're like, fuck, man. You're going to D.C. I'm getting fucking whiplash here. Everything changes like that. You're like,

I could relax finally. Nope. No, sir. Come here. No, you're a congressman now. I don't want it. I don't want it at all. That's one of those things. I was always down to do the job. I thought I actually think I would be a fantastic congressman for the two years that I had the opportunity. But like, it's not, it's something that, you know, I get my rocks off to. I wasn't, I don't fucking like DC. I don't particularly like the people in it. I hate dealing with politicians. They're pretty stupid by and large. A lot of good ones. Don't get me wrong. Got a lot of friends, but like,

A lot of them are pretty fucking dumb. The entire us just being associated with what we've talked about before is how we got to see more inside of what that world's like. It's fucking insanity just watching Unsub get taken out of Eclipse. Jake's like, hey, I'm sending out cease and desist because X, Y, and Z. Part of me was a little happy the night you lost. I was up rooting. I was rooting for you, but also his loss was like,

I mean, on the plus side, I'm going to catch way less strays now getting called a Nazi because it was going to ramp up a lot once you had to run against an actual Democrat, not another Republican.

Hilarious because you rant against Nazis all the goddamn time. Oh, yeah. No, I got called the fascist electrician the other day just because I made fun of communism. What the fuck? Yeah, it happens. They're really mad at me. I never seen because I see our audience and what we're served. But dear God, when you're going on like Reddit or where your shit gets posted on another form. TikTok. Oh, my God. TikTok. They hate me. How does it feel to be able to voice your opinion without ending up in a ditch? Thank capitalism. Pretty awesome. Yeah.

It's kind of dope. Pretty cool. Dude, his, like, the audience that is, they're like, what a piece of shit. He doesn't know anything. And it's no rebuttal. It's no, like, anything with depth. It's just...

He's wrong.

Like admin, they'd be like, I got to fucking find something. Then I end up getting doxxed. So I just give them this like easy way. I thought you were going to say like Adolf. Like, oh no. I think dressing like the way I do helps me out kind of sort of in the long run. Yeah.

It's just... It's absurd seeing that. I was like, oh, everyone has reasonable... No. TikTok immediately thrown that away. I'm right about pretty much everything. Like, they were flipping out about the tank. That's what a fascist would say. About the tank remark. And that's what a woman would say. Because I said...

That German tanks were such a non-issue during World War II that a lot of the tankers preferred to have the 75 millimeter Sherman instead of the 76 because the 75 was better for anti-personnel, which is what they ran into way more of the time. Like the most unrealistic part of the movie Fury was the fact that they ran into a German tank.

highly unrealistic. Like there was like seven of them on the entire Western front. Like what you said. And I can't, I think it was in a video or something that kind of like, I was like, Oh, okay. That makes sense. Where you're like, yeah, instead of running into like enemy armor, like a tank, they're way more likely to run into like a fucking pack or something like that. Like just an artillery piece. Essentially. Wait for real. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. There was like, um, I, I'm, this is like rough numbers, but there was like,

Allegedly, there was only three encounters of Americans running across a normal Gen 1 Tiger tank and the entire Western Front. They ran across more Panthers, but most of them were being transported or already broken down. They ran across older versions a lot more, but there was like 8,000 to 12,000 German tanks on the Western Front, and there was like

80,000 German 88 flax anti-tank guns. So like they were way, way more likely to run into mobile anti-tank artillery units than they were an actual tank. So that's why it makes fucking sense. If you're a defending army. Yeah, absolutely. Like if you're being invaded, yes, you're going to have stationary like, yeah, yeah. Like go stand in the bushes and fucking wait. And that's what they did. And that's why they preferred to have the 75 millimeter Sherman. Yeah.

But, you know, you tell that to the Internet and it's like, nope, the Germans had superior fucking firepower. It's weird how everybody America beats is somehow better than us, but they still fucking lose, isn't it? Well, technically, it's like, no, there's no technicalities. There was a thread the other day. It was actually on Reddit. It was like, why is no. This is the first time I've seen Reddit and even people on Reddit were like, did not expect this comment thread. It was, why is the U.S. military so terrifying?

And then people that would come in and be like, look at Afghanistan or Vietnam. And the sole point was like, yeah, they were – if they just went to win and destroy, there is no questions asked what the U.S. military would do. First off, what our biggest – our strongest – or our best strength is supply.

Logistics. Yeah, logistics is what we have down. Unfortunately, we then try to stand up governments afterwards. If we just went in fucking slate and left, we would be- There's a difference between the Afghanistan war and highway of death. It's like if you actually want to go in and fuck shit up, we do it very quickly and very well. Highway of death is-

they brought that up as one of like the top things it's like we killed was it 30,000 people or 30,000 i'm not versed on this one sorry highway of death is it is what was it in a couple days it was we lost zero fucking zero units and it's impressive usually we at least have a couple friendly fires uh it was it was yeah it wasn't 30,000 it was uh

So it was in 1991. Dude, highway death. This is casualties and losses from the Iraqi side. A thousand plus killed, 2,000 captured, 1,800 to 2,700 vehicles destroyed or abandoned. Deaths on the American side, zero. How many days was that? Two days.

If you want fire superiority, that is the perfect example of here is everything getting fucking demolished in two days. 2,000 units to 3,000 units lost, 1,000 troops dead. If I'm not mistaken, it was just like a giant log jam highway of just all their fucking military equipment. We were just like, oh.

The Gulf War is like... Neat. The Gulf War is like... A-10 Hongi. The Gulf War is one of my favorite things ever because it literally just turned into the United States Air Force racing against the army to see who could beat Iraq first. Like 100% what happened. Because Storm and Norman's out there with the army like...

driving through and the air force is like fuck we're gonna take a howitzer barrel fill it full of tnt and penetrate a bunker that was a dude yeah i didn't realize how terrifying because that's that changed everything too oh yeah we're fine then that came out and they're like

Oh, shit. They can penetrate 20 feet of reinforced concrete. We're not fine. White flag. Please do not do that to us. Nick, you see I ratioed the fucking president again the other day? I did see that. Absolutely. Yeah. Here's my classic quote. Ban this dick. I know.

And then Cody also, why can't I have control of unsub? To be fair, I would co-sign that one. I ratioed him immediately afterward, actually. Yeah, the White House came out and they're like, ban assault weapons. And I said, ban this dick again. I said, stack up or shut up. Makes me happy. Brandon and I are just over here ratioing.

white house it's like you think you're a hard ass you can't even go shake a veteran's hand without yourself in normandy like come on uh yeah i was trying to see that one i was like oh

That was gross. Because a couple of our friends went out there and they jumped for the 80th anniversary of D-Day. I know, Brandon. I know. Brandon was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be jumping. I was supposed to be there. I went through fucking jump school. I did my five jumps. I was stoked. I've still got my parachute equipment in the goddamn car. And my passport didn't come in time.

Speaking of Normandy, I didn't realize they had combat camera people rolling footage on the fucking boats going into D-Day. Yeah, bro. On some of the lesser beaches, I think. Pixar didn't happen. Even a lesser beach? You're just like this? Do we have any footage? I'm going to fucking die. Please, when that gate drops, I hope they don't...

They're not picking and choosing who they're shooting at. But MG42 is hungry. Do we have any actual footage from Omaha? I don't know off the top of my head. I guarantee you we do. Because combat cameras, there's those people that do put themselves in whatever situation. Like, well, let's fucking do this thing. That is one as a combat. Oh, no, fuck off, dude. And then.

You can't get off because the camera can't go in the water. You're just like, I'm going to stay on the boat. Hang out on the U-boat or the Higgins boat. Well, everyone's getting shot at. Actually, realistically, you just cut a hole on the side of one of the landing craft and then just film it from the side of what's happening over there. Please go sideways. Pull the fucking ramp back up.

I hope for the best. Because on those, you have the idea of... And both would suck. I would still rather jump...

jump in or do d-day like oh jump in for sure but the thing about jumping in i i would i i think i also agree but like something to consider too jumping in you got a fuckload of dudes that are just parachuting into god knows where a lot of people hung up in trees a lot of people like getting rocks off track too with no comms yeah you are dropping like yeah you are dropping in can't see shit

land none of your boys are around you and you are in enemy fucking territory and you have no radios you have no way to communicate good luck and you're getting shot at they had crickets tell me well you know you're getting fucking shot at also even though geneva convention which i didn't know you can't like even if a pilot you're not supposed to shoot at somebody on a parachute but yeah fucking rules of war okay

You can shoot at the parachute. Right. I can't shoot the person. I can shoot the equipment on him, like the fucking canteens on his chest. It's the whole thing. It's like, 50 BMG, you can't shoot at... It's not supposed to be personnel, but you can shoot at equipment, like the chin strap. Right. I know this one's so stupid. We know this rule very good. It's like, you're shooting at their gun. Disable their AK-47. Yeah.

Damn. Geneva Convention's mission. Which we didn't, to my understanding, we didn't ratify that. Nope. America didn't. We just, I think we signed it, but we didn't ratify it through Congress. Yeah, we didn't approve it. Mr. Cody. Thank you, sir. Daddy's getting joy. So I would jump into 100% jumping in, though the night jump and then getting shot at watching your buddy's planes get fucking evaporated to 100%.

Probably suck just as I hate water though. I despise water. Despise water. How many people do you think drown? Oh, dude. Hundreds or thousands. Machine gun tying you down. Have you swam in clothes before? No.

It is one of the worst parts of combat training is when you have to swim with your, I had a good thread water, like drown proofing shit. When I was in for whatever the reason I got put in that group, it was literally the most tired I've ever been in my entire life. After that day, they flipped the vehicle.

The vehicle? It wasn't even that. It was like just fucking, we're going to be in the pool for eight hours straight while you hold a rubber ducky gun and just tread water the entire time. And then halfway through, we're going to let you take your pants off and use it as a, teach you how to use it as a fucking flotation device. Oh God, I was so fucking tired. Are we talking about swimming? Yeah. Wait, did you guys? On all deaths on D-Day from American paratroopers, it was 2,500.

Yeah, jumping's the way to go. Yeah, 100%. I'll do that. Yeah. Would you jump rather than going to Omaha Beach? Just fucking...

ram down run out yep for sure 100 okay yeah that's the part like most terror parting uh terrifying part of saving private ryan is it's just those votes going up the rounds are ripping off and you're just hearing on the my first when we first our first gunfight i remember going out we're driving out like hey there's combat you guys are deploying out to this little area we're driving the striker i was like

"Oh, this sucks dick." And then it's like, "Hey, ran- uh, was it a f- uh, it's like action right, dismount left." And I was like, "Oh, this is what this is like immediately?" You're like, "Uh, but it was only a couple rounds." Well, I mean, the D-Day was action front, dismount front, water. You're just struggling to get to the beach. You can't return fire. All you're just drowning.

That shit. Like, that shit. But thank you for the gentleman that did that. That was the, ah, damn, that's one of the things that I kind of regret the most about not being able to go. Because it's cool to, like, go out, do the jump that those guys did, like, on the 80th anniversary. But the one thing that bums me out the most is that that was the, this is probably the last 10-year increment that any of the actual guys who were there doing that shit are going to be there for it.

And like, that's, that's a huge deal. I got goosebumps just saying that, like, that's, it's a dying generation. These are guys that were in there. Like we talk about it, like with a romantic idea, saving private Ryan, all that shit, but there's real men that did that shit.

It is absolutely insane that individuals like I look at my combat. I look at even it's like the entire war in a decade of two wars being fought at the same time. Like 6,000 lives lost, I think. Like give or take. Less. I want to say it's like 3 or 4. It's like 5,200. Really? Yeah. I think that's Iraq and Afghanistan across both conflicts the entire time. It's like 5,200. And that is in like one fucking battle. Yeah. Like a day. A day. And that is the...

Oh, well, okay. So total for – that's actually a higher number than I remember. Total for GWAT, the war on terror in general from 2001 forward is 7,000. 7,000, which two days in World War II or a day, which is at – like that is the level where you're losing not –

Which on D-Day, there was battalions lost. That is, hey, where is fucking... Not like, where's SECO? It is, where is 223 at? And it's like, oh, they're gone. They're gone, gone. I mean, like, Civil War, like Antietam was like 30,000 in a day or some shit. Yep. That's all Americans. Yeah. The bloodiest day in American history, I think. The, uh... What was it? The 442nd, the Purple Heart Battalion, the 101st Combat Regiment. It was all, uh...

It was all Japanese soldiers from mostly from Hawaii, but they were all like second generation American Japanese soldiers. And like their family was in internment camps in America. And, um, they basically got sent in to do all the shit that they didn't want to send anybody else to do because like they, they didn't,

Originally, they didn't want to let him serve at all, and then they petitioned to be able to fight in the military. So then they sent him to the European theater, partially because they didn't trust him because they were Japanese and they worried that they would turn on the Americans, and partially because the Japanese would treat them much worse if they did get captured. So it was kind of like a double-edged sword there. So they only sent him to the European theater, and then –

They ended up – there was a lost battalion in World War I, but there was another lost battalion in World War II where a unit out of Texas got overzealous and penetrated behind enemy lines and got surrounded. And it was like 200 guys, and they were going to get killed. They tried to go in and save them multiple times, and people just kept getting mowed down. So they finally sent in the 442nd.

And the 442nd fought through enemy lines and had 800 casualties to save 200 Texans. Jesus. And that's World War I? This is World War II. World War II, okay. So there's a lost battalion in World War I, but this is the lost battalion in World War II. It was this Texas battalion. And 800, they called them Nisei, Japanese American soldiers died getting these like 200 to 300 Texans out. And the first...

Japanese-American guy that punched through the line walked up to this Texan kid arming a machine gun at their perimeter and he just fucking walks through the smoke with his gun and this 18-year-old kid from Texas starts tearing up because he just got saved. He thought he was going to die. And this fucking guy looks at this Texan kid and just goes...

Want to smoke? That's it. They got him out. And all of the 442nd were actually considered honorary Texans after that. That's awesome. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Gangster ass stories. Yeah. Just camaraderie. How the fuck can you not be a patriot after shit like that, you know?

You're gonna get me fucking strung. I'm not doing it today. I'm not doing it today. Why? Why? Why would we ever want you not to rant? God damn it. Where is this going? How, yeah, how couldn't you be a patriot? I wanna know where that... How couldn't you be a patriot after that?

Poke the bear. This country has some of the best lore. We got some really rad. Nick just appears with his tank top on, no pants, naked. On the wall. Bro. Are we talking about Cryptid Nick? Cryptid Nick. Cryptid Nick is awesome. My...

I read a, I read this book about like how to take notes and stuff more efficiently to like help me with my videos. And it's called how to develop a second brain. And it's like, there's certain like note taking apps and note taking strategies you can do to like catalog all the information that you have. So I started doing it using Apple notes. There's different apps you can use, but I was just using Apple notes because it's on my phone and on my iPad. And now it's like, I've got everything.

If I ever want to debate anybody, I can just pull up notes on my fucking phone. I've got it all. Like, you want to talk about what you want to talk about? You want to talk about why the USSR started World War II? Let's hop over to my fucking timeline of events. All

august 19th 1939 the german and soviet credit agreement which is where the german soviets were going to exchange raw materials and force oh it takes you have it hyperlinked oh yeah no it's hyperlinked to the fucking sources homie like anybody's like i don't believe you it's like oh oh you don't believe me let's just

and click on it and go directly to the catalog one and it goes to different fucking like i oh i want to know about the maltov ribbentrop pact click on it boom takes me to my entire note he is oh yeah and then i wanted and then wikipedia citations for his own private notes oh bro it's insane

This is a level of autism I'm bringing to this conversation. It's horrible. You know, because like I brought up the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact and they're like, oh, well, actually, you know, the Soviet Union only became allies with the Nazis because the Soviet Union tried to get America and Great Britain and France to have an anti-Nazi pact, but they wouldn't do it. So then they signed an agreement with the Nazis instead, which is the dumbest argument I've ever heard in my entire life. I've never heard that. What the fuck? You didn't know this?

No, no. I've never heard that argument. Oh, yeah. No, that's the argument. They're like, well, the Soviet Union was sounding the alarm and nobody listened. So they sided with the Nazis instead, which is like saying the fucking house is on fire and nobody believed me. So I dumped gas on it. Like what logic goes into that? I tried to tell the neighborhood that my neighbor was right. Nobody listens. But then I just started luring kids to his basement. So here's a series of events.

The USSR invades Poland, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it's like, well, they only did it to survive. Did they? Did they really? Because on February 11th, 1940, after they both invaded and the USSR was surviving, we have the German-Soviet commercial agreement, which is where the Soviet Union agreed to send...

1 million tons of grain and cattle, 900,000 tons of oil, approximately 15 million Reichsmarks worth, 100,000 tons of cotton, 500,000 tons of phosphates, 100,000 tons of crumb. This goes on for some time. It goes on and on and on. So they weren't doing it to survive is what you're trying to say with that giant fucking list. They were making money. They were trading raw resources that the Nazis did not have and they needed. And in exchange, they were receiving Nazi technology like planes and tanks.

So it's kind of like, well, you know, the Soviet Union only did this for self-preservation and making money, which makes the entire thing fucking bullshit. Imagine if you got involved in a self-defense shooting and then after the fact you find out, oh, well, it wasn't just about self-defense. You also made a fuck ton of money doing it as well. That doesn't count. Just surviving. I'm trying to get by. You hate capitalism, but you will acknowledge that it's profitable to experience free trade with the literal Nazis. Yep.

Sure do. It's weird how that fucking works. God, I love your tis. When's this episode air? Next week. Next week? This week? Saturday? Saturday.

I don't know if I want to tell you guys about my new video. Why? Do it. Because I don't do it. You guys know modern art? No. Okay, so modern art, specifically abstract expressionism. Why did you say yes? You know modern art. NFTs. No, fuck you. Jesus Christ. Yes, I am familiar with the lore of the bored ape.

Smooth brain. No, so like modern art, specifically abstract expressionism is the shit where it looks like somebody just splattered paint at the canvas and you're like, that's a money laundering scheme. My seven year old could do that. No, it's a CIA psyop. Wait, and I proved it. Oh God.

I swear to God. Okay, so I swear to God. You have my undivided attention now. Okay, so just a quick – so modern art right now, you have what's been going on for a while, but it's not like back in the day when you have Van Gogh. You have actually like artists and, hey, this is a breakdown of what? Depression, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We have weird random shit from – I forget the biggest modern artist right now. He'll set up – Jackson Pollock. Is he the one that sets up like –

In a goddamn boat in the middle? I mean, he's dead now, but... Okay, not him. No, this dude literally will set up just swimming in a kayak in front of people, and he just kayaks in the shoes. Oh, no, that's not modern art. Trout, what is that called? Contemporary art. Contemporary art, sorry. Yeah, so modern art was like the 1940s through the 1960s. Where the fuck did that chair come from? Upstairs, I remember.

I just hated that modern art and that is the fucking definition of someone that would say that's contemporary art. It looks like something that would be in Mad Men. I went to pre-law for a year and a half. I know jack shit. I'm so confused. You're kidding me.

Okay, so contemporary art. Modern art is a CIA psychological operation. And I proved it. Well, I know it for a fact. I went to make a video and I just like fat files. I was like, I just want to shit on this because I think it's stupid. And then I was like, I better Google it for five minutes first because I don't want to be the asshole that says something dumb because I didn't Google it for five seconds. And I was like, oh. That makes you way better than the comment section. This is a psychological operation.

And it's like proven fact. So in the 1940s, right after World War II, the United States government – like the Cold War started. Like it is now – the culture war is on. Like it is America versus the USSR, capitalism versus communism. We've got to win at everything. We've got to have the most nuclear warheads. We've got to have the fastest planes with the most guns. But also we've got to have the best music.

We got to have the most Olympic medals. We got to have the best fucking art, right? And it's really hard to do that culturally if you stick to the norm, right? Because if you want to do like classical music against communist countries, it's like, well, fuck, they're just going to shove a violin in a two-year-old's hands and make them play it 18 hours a day until they're the best in the world. Which is why the Chinese – We don't want to compete with that shit. A lot of things now. So America used American tax dollars to start funding jazz, right?

because the communists don't have that right because jazz was just developed by people that could afford an instrument and do it for fun you can't do that under communism so they started promoting jazz all over the world

Okay? And then it's like, oh, well, what's jazz lead to? So they weren't funding it, but they were – No, they were funding it. They weren't funding jazz necessarily, but they were advertising jazz or promoting jazz? Were they paying musicians? Initially, in a couple years after, they started promoting jazz and they started promoting modern art. Okay. The conservatives in the country fucking hated it. Still do.

For obvious reasons. But now we have rap, which is awesome. Right. So the conservatives hated it, so they had to stop immediately. So then the government's like, well, fuck, we want to fund this, but all the people that are voting don't want to fund it. Can I just take a moment for Cody? What happened? It's like, but black people. And M&M's. I'm sorry. He said this. Am I fucking wrong? No.

No, because one of the biggest people they sponsored was Louis Armstrong. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. I never said that. Stop deflecting.

Anyways, the constituents didn't want it and the government wanted it. So naturally, they're just going to give the money to the CIA and do it anyways and not tell anybody, right? So they founded this – Oh, they would never. They founded a giant shell corporation called the CCF, the Congress for Cultural Freedom. And the Congress for Cultural Freedom was like 20 fucking magazines. They owned news outlets. They owned everything. And they started –

They started giving out money to basically promote jazz, and they sent jazz musicians all around the world promoting jazz. Real quick, I just want to say that is the most 1984-ass sounding name ever. Yeah. It's Congress for Cultural Freedom. Yeah. It was founded in West Germany in 1950. I think it was June 23rd. Anyways, so they started promoting jazz, and jazz leads to rock and roll, and rock and roll leads to metal, right? Yeah.

And then in October of 1991, fucking Metallica does a concert in Moscow. I was literally just going to say- 1.6 million people. I was just about to say, you're telling me Metallica is a psyop. Yes, kind of. Indirectly. Okay? Because look, all I'm saying is like Metallica performs for 1.6 million Soviets in Moscow in October. And by December, the USSR doesn't fucking exist. Coincidence? I don't think so. Okay? So, but with modern art in particular-

It goes deeper because they can't direct...

They can't directly fund the modern art, right? It's the squirrels, Morty. Hey, Morty. They can't directly fund the modern art. So the CIA has to go to all these rich people in New York and they're like, hey, if we pay for it, will you start an art foundation so we can start funneling money into all these artists and we want to fund modern art? And all these rich people are like, you're going to give me money for free to buy art and then I get to use it as a tax write-off? Fucking sure. Why not? So all the rich famous people do that. They start funding all these modern artists.

And that's why like Jackson Pollock, Rothko, de Kooning, all these abstract impressionist artists become rock stars during their lifetime, which is weird because usually artists don't become famous till after they die. Long time after they die. So these guys all become super fucking famous and they don't even realize that they're getting funded by the CIA indirectly, which is fantastic.

hilarious because half of them are communist sympathizers getting funded by the cia to be used to fight communism by showing off the freedom they have because they don't live in communism which is the real fucking art behind modern art by the way so they go and they make modern art popular and the theory behind it is like the soviets only do soviet realism you know which is fucking stupid in the era of cameras because soviet realism is like hey take a picture of me but do it with

Paint and make it take forever. That's dumb. Okay. Soviets are over there with their like technique and they're like refined art. We're over here just fucking throwing paint at a canvas and we're going to win anyways. Okay. And it's, it's, it's, what is, uh,

Abstract expressionism is art for the sake of art, right, Connor? That's like the definition. Breaking down art to its core principles. Breaking down art to its core principles to do art for the sake of art, which is something you can't do under communism. Because, like, sure, you can be a paid artist in communism as long as you're willing to paint dope-ass pictures of our glorious leader, and that's it. To be fair, Meat Canyon's a pretty big fan of that. Meat Canyon's fucking hilarious. Still probably the most scared I've ever been on this podcast. Yeah.

So I don't see a problem with that. I get a dope ass painting in palaces. Not gonna lie, I'd probably have a different job if it weren't for that podcast.

That was definitely one of the things of all time. You know how altered the timeline would be if we just decided to not go back and finish that half of the podcast? I always say this. They would have gone back further and found something else. What do we blame? They did such a shit job of finding things to call you out for, though. I kept looking. I'm like, man, there's like six things off the top of my head you could have attacked me for that you didn't even bother.

that would have been pretty bad. Yeah. Yeah. You and shooting those Nazi machine guns. I've got a story that I'll tell on the podcast later. I can't do it now. Do it now. I can't. Why? But remind me. Modern Art's a CISI op. That's the big takeaway here. Also, side note, did you watch the footage of Metallica playing in Russia? That is one of the most fucking insane...

pieces of footage because that still holds the record for largest audience i think so yeah well because they were yearning for like western western media western uh products like they wanted coke so bad that they made a deal with the big yeah yeah that they they pepsi had the seventh largest navy in the world do you know the story behind that like how that started

I do, and I'm just... I was trying to trigger you on that. No, not the Navy part. No, I love the story of how it started. I just don't like the conflation about the Navy. So the whole story... You're telling me that Pepsi couldn't have taken over the world with their massive Navy? No, it was just scrap. It was bullshit. But the story behind it...

Was it Gorgachov came over to America to tour American supermarkets and like they straight up took him to a normal fucking supermarket. And it was just like, it was just like well stocked. And he's like, okay, this is propaganda. He's like, we do this shit to America all the time. You know, whenever we're going to show off, we make sure it's a good supermarket, you know, but it was just a normal supermarket to the Americans. He was like Kroger's. He was super unimpressed by everything we had to offer. And then like, they're like here,

Try this Pepsi. And he tried it and he's like, holy fuck, this is delicious. And then that's like the whole reason. It's like, that's what won him over. And now he's doing, well, not now in the nineties, then he's doing pizza hut commercials. I bring that up in my video. Really? That's like the whole, that's like the whole full circle of my video because it's like, uh, the culture war by, you know, leveraging American music and American art is what actually saved the world from nuclear war.

Because by the time – because it was mutually assured destruction from the beginning, right? But by the time the USSR needed to fall, they didn't want mutually assured destruction because they didn't want to destroy America. They wanted to be America. Everybody was wearing blue jeans going to fucking Metallica concerts, checking out Jackson Pollock paintings. Yeah. I mean like look. It worked in Iran for a while. Yeah.

So you're saying capitalism saved the entire world. It's pretty dope. When you have a market that lets the people determine what they actually want, people tend to fucking like it, actually. Believe it or not. Crazy concept. It's wild. It's so weird. I know that's complicated. Autistic minds think alike.

I love the fact that Gorgachop did a pizza hut commercial. It warms my heart. It's one of my favorite facts of fucking modern history. God, it's great. Could you imagine if, I don't know, an American president did like a Soviet Union company commercial? It'd be insane. Imagine a name, a single Soviet Union. What do you mean? Like a company from them. Oh, yeah. A product from it. None of us at this table would be like, uh.

Kalashnikov. Yeah, well. There's one. I'm just thinking of the new fucking like Apple iPhone 72 or whatever with a special guest appearance by Putin. Good. What are you doing, Eli? What? What's happening? She walked away without a kiss. Oh my God. Yeah, no PDA. Yeah. This is a Christian Minecraft server. Damn it. It's a Christian Minecraft server.

You haven't heard that? No. I've never heard that. What? That's what this is. That's the new description of the podcast. Would you like to come on our Christian Minecraft server? That's our last tag. Christian Minecraft commercial. I want to build a killdozer in Minecraft.

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Oh that just passed.

literally yeah yeah uh marvin hemeyer day yeah peace be to him dude dear god there was a twitter uh one twitter thing it was like why this was wrong and then the amount of shit that dude got from that one post i was like good the internet is doing its job it's like are you fucking retarded well like none of this is true it's a new one sub merch oh i love it i love that

Well, my thing is like most of the people who actually know the story behind Marvin Hemeier and the whole Killdozer thing and everything like that, it's like, look, nobody's saying what he did was right.

They're just saying it was rad. Based. There's a difference between those things. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying I get it. It's kind of like fucking... What's that movie? It's like Falling Down with Michael Douglas. Where it's like the guy just gets pushed too far for the whole fucking movie and just snaps and start like just... It's like, you know, street justice kind of shit. It's like, yeah, it's not...

right but it's the shit that all of us are thinking about yeah and we just can't well i i reposted it the other day because it was the 20th anniversary of killdozer and i reposted it and people were like aren't you a cop he tried to kill cops it's like he did he never tried to kill cops he had two rifles set up in there and he never once tried to kill a fucking one of which was a

50 he could have shot through anything those cops were hiding behind if he wanted to at not one point did he try to fucking shoot at a police officer he had a barrett he had like foul foul or whatever a bunch of ammo like all sorts of shit like he fired a couple rounds but like he wasn't trying to hurt anybody and the way he did it like even when he went to like the town hall which was connected to the library he went and tore up the front yard first to give the library time to evacuate like yeah

He had a very specific agenda on what he was doing and hurting innocent people wasn't on it. And then number one. No, I was just saying he could have killed so many fucking cops and he chose not to. I'm going to get another drink. Get it. We did play the Sardaukar chant last night. That's true.

It was good seeing everyone out. Like, everyone came out last night. I was like, oh, everyone fucking out having a good old time. Yeah, it was the UFC fight night. Everyone came out. And we have a new thing where the Zandacar...

The Sardaukar. Sardaukar gets played by the DJ because Cody offers them money. This got to happen. And then my favorite part was they played it, but they played like none of the important part. And they like tried to downplay and they played 30 seconds. A boy Trout was like, Trout goes over there and bullies this shit. He bullies the DJ. He goes over there and he's like, no, you're going to fucking play more of the Sardaukar. Yeah.

This is after, like, a hype song came on, and then it'd be like, It's coming in real- This motherfucker. This DJ.

Cody tipped him heavily. I'm not going to say the dollar amount, but he gave him money to play the Sardaukar chant. It was a very crowded bar. I had an emotional breakdown at the end of the night. It's a long story. We're back, baby. But the guy played the Sardaukar chant, or so he claimed. And then I walked over. Cody's like, I just tipped him X amount of dollars, and he never put that song on.

I was like, "How much you give him?" And he told me the dollar amount, so I walked over to the bartender and I was like, "Listen, buddy." And I was like, "My buddy just gave you money to put on a song, and you didn't play it." And he's like, "No, I played it. You just weren't listening." And I was like, "Well, if we didn't fucking hear it, that means you didn't fucking play it. Alright?"

And he goes, "Okay, understood." Walked back to the bar. Boom, there was a wow, yeah. There it is! That was way better. The part we won, it started playing very loud over his face, like, "Hey, there we go." It wasn't that bad. I'll say the dollar amount, 'cause it was fucking high money. 'Cause it's the least egregious out of any of the times we've done it. It was a hundred bucks.

Oh, that's low compared to what the average is. Bro, I was thinking like first time was Salt Lake, which was at least I think it broached four digits. It was 500 bucks? 500, yeah. And then there was after the live show, I think I paid that guy 200 bucks and he remixed it. Yeah, he did a really good job. That was a G. That man earned his money. My favorite part was fucking still popping meat just on that dance floor, shredding it up. I've never seen a dude dance so much.

Oh, he's got moves. Papa Meat loves to fucking dance. Dude, he threw it back, too. He was wearing sweatpants, and for the joke, we were kind of like, oh, we're having fun. It's me and one of my boys out here on the dance floor having a good time. And then he was throwing his ass into me, and I was like, bro, I got fucking aggressively grinded on by fucking Papa Meat.

I'm glad we don't have an HR department. Papa Meat just having the best time of his life. And that is why he will be on every live show. Every live show we do, Papa Meat has to be there and so does Rich. Those are the tour champions. Period. I got a good fucking live show story about good old Papa Meat. We were in the green room at the show that he was on.

And it was right before it was me and his editor who, whose name I can't remember, but he's a wonderful guy. Super cool guy. I want to say Zach. I want to say it was Nick too. Nick. Nick. Yeah. Nick with a K. We were in the green room. Three of them. Fucking Nick. Yeah.

Good old, are we calling him Papa Meat? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Father. Meat Canyon. Hunter. Yeah, okay. We can say his real name. Okay, Hunter was like, he was like, hey, is there any like merch, like unsub merch I can wear on stage when I'm on there with those guys? And I was like, yeah, there's live show t-shirts. I was like, I'll go grab you one. They're from, you know, small all the way up to, or I said they go all the way up to 3X. Obviously, he's a bigger guy. And he goes, well, I'm a 7X. And I was like, oh. That is a parachute.

Okay, well they like they go up to 3x. I don't know if that'll fit and he goes listen I know to skinny people like you all us fat people look the same But I'm a 7x is 3 the same number as 7 and I was like no

And he was like, so then a 3X won't fit me. And I thought about that. I mean, I was laughing at the moment because I knew he was fucking with me. But like that night, I was like, I'm like laying in bed and I'm like, is Hunter a 7X? Like what are large sizes? Yeah.

And I looked it up. A 7X is like a parachute. Yeah. Like it's a boat cover. There is no fucking way in shit. His mother, you know, he was fucking with me hard. No, I'll get out of here. No, I said sit in my lap. I'll get out of here. Swap it out.

I fucking love Hunter because that's what, dude, even the other day, Sav, we were at that one bar and he left a voicemail. And I thought it was on the, you know how when you leave a voice message, it says what it's going to say. It's like, thanks, Eli. I truly appreciate it. You're so kind. Something like that. I was like, oh, I hit play. And immediately when I hit play, it was like, thanks, Eli.

Eli, I'm fucking, Eli, what are you doing? I was like, Jesus fucking Christ. I hit pause because it was just blaring over everything. I was like, Hunter, god damn it. I saw Wendigoon posted that on Twitter. It was a similar thing. Yes, that exact fucking voice. He said, like, can someone please cancel this, man? I'll pay you $18. I just want to be free from the hell that is this podcast.

Because they've got Creepcast going on, which is one of my favorites. I enjoy it. I watch every... I'm dead serious. I enjoy every episode. We're watching... Ah, babe. The Left-Right... Left-Right Turn? Left-Right Game. Yeah. I fucking love that one. I just finished part one. We've been watching it. Like, it's that bedtime. Yeah. Just consuming it before we go to bed. So we're, like, consuming it before we go to bed. But it is so good. And watching how they're...

Dynamic is one of my favorites because they are polar opposite people, but the same at the exact same time. They have the same passion. Dude, I love watching them bully each other. Oh, dude, they bully the shit out of each other. When Mekania starts doing his voices to him, he's like, oh, yeah. I love... Just did Roiland. I love... Mr. Macy's, look at me. Just Roiland and his two voices. Yeah.

I love when, uh, some- Oh, it's quirky time! I'm not Rick or Morty! Oh, I'm not Rick or Morty! I'm, oh, I'm being, I'm doing the crazy voice! Whoa!

I don't know other Justin Roiland voice. It's me, Justin Roiland voice too. The entire audience is laughing. Yes. Wait, what? Oh, I was going to say, I love when some random bread tuber attacks Wendigoon and the entire internet shifts on him and ends his entire career. We barely talked about it. It was, um, oh, what is that guy's name?

Uh, Shadow to Prevail? No, the Slaughter. Praise of Shadows or whatever the fuck his name is. Show's like, I know this one. Show knows this one. This one. That dude fucked his own career. Mm.

He went from, I struggle making $500 and that's not livable to making $0 and hated on the internet. That dude just needed to shut the fuck up. Like that is one that shouldn't be on the internet. If you can't take criticism or somebody coming into the space and not being like, Oh, this is great for the space. Cause Wendigo was one dude that would have just open arms, welcomed you. And he did. He did. You see his, his, his response. So graceful. Oh,

I didn't even know about this. When he did his response to his video, which he took down, by the way, after finding out, like, no, he...

Because he was like, I'm not here to shit talk people who made me mad on Twitter, which is exactly what he was doing. For three hours, this video was three hours long. Thank God for people like Brandon Buckingham that I could just skim through the important parts and not have to listen to that dude fucking dribble for three hours. With his Sacagawea jacket on. Dude, that Sacagawea jacket I wanted to punch in his face because...

White people shouldn't wear that jacket. That's all I got to say about that is white people should not wear that jacket. It's called fringe. Period. I hate it. Oh, man.

He also just talks like a fucking soy jack, like, and now we're going to talk about Wendigo, one of the people that is very right wing. And that I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying you should excommunicate him from everything. From society. He should not be allowed to enjoy the things I enjoy. Yeah.

If you know, if you are from, where are they from? The Appalachians. Oh, the Appalachians. If you're from the Appalachians, you are a racist. You're a white supremacist. Yeah, Wendigoon's response to it, though, was so fucking killer.

Because he was like, don't go online. Don't bully this guy. It's not going to get anything accomplished. He was like, it's not becoming of people to talk shit to anyone. And then he ended it with, I hope you find whatever you're looking for. Laser eyes. Dude, my favorite part of that is like...

Wendigoon is the Labrador that a bunch of wolves... Yeah. Like, comment. Yeah. What is his name? It was like, Wendigoon is a Labrador that made friend with a bunch of wolves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Wendigoon's Labrador protected by a pack of wolves. And we're like, we will fucking kill you. It wasn't even just us. He's like, nobody bully him. We're like...

We're not afraid to say the bad words. We're going to redact it. It's like he tried to prove that Wendigoon was a bad person just by everybody that Wendigoon's ever been associated with and then talk shit about them too. Including half the people here. And everybody was ten times bigger than him to begin with. It's like, how do you get an entire army against you? I've got the comment. Wendigoon's relationship with the podcast can be described as a golden retriever who's adored by a pack of wolves. What?

That dude, oh. That was the only video I liked watching. First off, he just claims to be an artist. Like, my tism went off. I was like, your first 30 minutes of the video is a widescreen shot with a fucking TV pushed in, and then your video taking up one third of unused space. I was like, you're not a fucking artist, you fucking retard. You're a hack. Yeah, take off your goddamn...

Chacanawia. Chacanawia jacket. I want to punch you in the face for that. There's just every time I'm just like, I want to punch you in the face for each one of these things. And then him talking, his fucking voice. And then he's just making fun of my friends. Like, donut operator who is laughing at killing a...

death content oh dude i love the term death content i will say it's pretty funny the one video he picked granted he was cherry picking but he's like here's a thumbnail that just says head removal and it's cody going i do like that it's like cody's like head removal on cody's face

I'm like, well, he is right. He is smiling, but that's a good video to smile. Of all the videos, that's the one I'm not going to. Did we talk about that last? We did. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. It's just we didn't go in depth on that dude on everything he said or how fucking stupid it was. Apparently his Discord got leaked and he wrote in his own Discord. Do you guys think I can come back from this? Nah. Nah. Nah.

you're done no there's no two main things that bother me about that one is like where he's he's basically saying that like you know racism is bad racism is bad the entire time he's like if you're a white person in Appalachia which you should be assumed racist until proven otherwise if you don't know what the fuck Appalachia incorporates 19 of the 50 states

That was fucking ridiculous. That was outright racism. It's like, literally, based on the color of your skin and where you live, you should be assumed to act this way. That doesn't exist. Racism only works against one way. That's where all my racist... Racism. All my racist... Here we are! I hate all these people. It is that definition of insanity is where you're like, oh, if...

Here's how I always define it to my friends. If you can replace one word with another and it suddenly becomes racist, you're fucking wrong in that conversation. Period. If it's just like, hey, okay. A lot of the times it is, it's like, how do I say this without like fucking canceling anything? A lot of statements, it's like, hey, this is blah, blah, blah. It's okay. It's like,

It's okay if it's like a black man was blah, blah, blah, or it's like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah against a white person or they remove something. But the second they put in black, brown, Mexican, then it's suddenly racist. Or it's okay if it's like, hey, I fucking blah, blah, blah. This is – look at this white crime or –

Hey, it's okay because we're doing this and it's Mexican pride. Are you telling me that you want to judge people by the content of their character and not the color of their skin? Have a dream today. You guys are on par with each other. And that's the thing. Brandon and MLK. Here they are at the same level. But it is. You get to see it. It's like, hey, this is okay because brown pride, Mexican pride. Boom, boom, boom. If...

And a commercial that says a gay pride, it's, hey, whatever it is, the second it becomes white pride, if you can substitute a word and it suddenly becomes racist, hey, maybe watch what you're saying and understand that it's not okay. Because if you can say brown Mexican pride-

And then suddenly if I put white pride in there and that's not okay, if you can change the word and make it racist, probably a fucking problem at that point. You can't go, well, hey, if you go in the past because X, Y, and Z, it's like, no, no, no, that doesn't fucking matter. If it's okay to say Mexican pride, if it's okay to say whatever, whatever.

Any word can be used and it should be okay. That's always been my problem with it. Yeah. Period. It's almost like you're logically consistent or some shit. I'm like, it just has to fall in. Every word can be put in that statement and you're okay with it. If every word can't be put, if a color can't be put in that statement and it's suddenly a problem.

i'm not okay with it then go fuck yourself if that's an issue that's what that's how i look at it my my other thing though are you man brother sorry the second thing though i said that was my first issue with the appalachian thing my second major fucking issue and this is the big one is that the way he talks about it and he's very open about it it's not implied but he's he's very open about the fact that he thinks that if you don't agree with him you should be

shunned from entire communities. Where it's like, there's a lot of people that I talk to that I don't agree with about everything. There's a lot of people that I talk to that I don't agree with about a lot, like very, very serious issues. Like there's a lot of, there's people that I talk to that I'm friends with who are more left-leaning. Yeah, go ahead. Which, I mean, like you shouldn't judge somebody's entire personality by that, whatever, like. Yeah. No, like to come to that, and your entire personality shouldn't be based off of your leaning. Yeah.

You're very boring, if that's the case. If your political ideology is your personality, you're boring as shit. The people you look up to have friends who don't agree with them. You're heroes. Every one of these individuals, when we hang out, guess what they don't do? It's like, well, this is my...

I would not be friends with anyone if that was their fucking individual. Like if that was your individuality, if that if you were just like, this is me because this is my political view. Fuck yourself. The number one thing is that these people can't sit at the same table as somebody who doesn't agree with them. That's like a thing. They're like, I refuse. I refuse. Because like that's the thing that bugged me is they said Wendigoon should be shunned.

From the horror community. Because he clearly has conservative views. And he's a Christian. It's like dude. Fuck you. He had money. And then the guy goes in the same video and says...

His dad came from this, but then denounced all of that or whatever. And then they grew up poor. It's like, when did you then didn't come from that guy? Just at the end of the day, who gives a fuck? No, it doesn't matter how your lifestyle is, is based off of your wealth growing up. That guy shot himself in the knee. I like him because he's a smart guy. He's really nice. He makes entertaining stuff like that's.

He's a kind human. He's probably the sweetest human being I have ever met in my life, hands down. When I talk to him, genuinely, it's not an act. You can tell he is very sincere. Look me in the eyes right now. I am dead ass serious when I tell you that Wendigoon, Isaiah, is probably the kindest human being I have ever met in my life.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Think of Scott, like Kentucky. I raised him right. You did that. You're you being a father to Wendigo was amazing on how you grew him. He's an adult. He's the best thing I ever made. I don't know, dude. Like that's, that's why we all went in on this fucking guy too. I don't know what camera you're on right now. I don't know. Okay. You're on that one. Okay. No, dude.

He fucked with Wendigo and he's like, like he said, it's one of our fucking favorite people. Like, and he's so wholesome and he's such a good guy and you're going to fucking talk shit about him. Oh no. Like here's, here's the wrath of everyone who loves him. Welcome to the fucking Thunderdome. Yeah. Welcome to the Thunderdome, bud. I appreciate that he came along right after we're no longer bullying Tony.

I know that was immediate new target. Like, Oh, cool. All the people you have are, you have the dudes will defend to the end of time. Like Wendigoon, Kentucky ballistics. This dude won't even cuss. Even on one of the lines for tiny guns three, Jake was like, just say like, ah, fuck that. And he's like, well, I won't say that. That is to the degree you have Scott who will have your back and work and

Just humble you. Help you. Help you no matter what. Scott's my favorite human. He's just like Wendigo. He's just a good fucking dude. Scott pays extra money for his ballistic dummies to have green blood because he doesn't want it to be too realistic. He showed up to Tiny Guns 3. He walked out and the first thing he looked at me and I'm like, who the fuck am I? And he walks up and he goes, hey Connor, how you doing, man? It's been a while. And I was like,

Oh my God, he remembers me. Like, he remembers my name. He's like, yeah, I haven't seen you since the last range day. Hope you're doing well. I was like, oh my God, you're just the sweetest human being in the fucking world. That's what fucked me up. Like, I've said this before, like, when he had his accident. I was like, God damn it. It literally is the best of us. Yeah, when you meet these good dudes, even, I will say, even, like, meet Ken. Meet Ken, you can look at his content, like, oh, I don't know. Meet Ken, it's still...

I can read every text he sent. He's like, thank you for being one of the best. He is just so sweet on when you compliment what he does because he's an amazing dude. And when they text you back, it's just a sweet dude. Thank you so much. You look at me. Canyon's content. You're like that dude. Probably not so much. Then you know how he is a human. And you're like, oh, bro. When I told the shop boys, like, yeah, we're giving Hunter like me. Canyon and AK. Yeah.

They're like, are you fucking sure? Because they'd only seen his cartoons and shit like that. They're like, bro, I don't want to end up on the fucking 6 o'clock news. You sure about this? Yeah, the guy that says, give me that. Why that man? You got a nice little man. Dude, it stinks. Yeah, that man.

He did his new Papa Meat videos, him shitting on that, like the car salesman influencer. It's so fucking funny. Dude, I will say the most. I hate that guy. That guy. But also when you go to a babe, what was the Discord mods? Those are the most weirdest people we just watched. Did you watch the Discord mods? No. I haven't seen this one yet. Oh, if you want to be. Oh, God, I can't imagine.

Oh, like the people that just show up like, donated $10,000 and I got a hug. Yeah, you hang around long enough, she'll fuck me. That video is the most like, that was the one I was uncomfortable watching because you get to watch the mods and because...

Me, Papa Meat puts him in the video and shows everything. And you're just like, oh, I fucking, oh, I'm uncomfortable on every part of this. And he's just like, he tries to defend them at parts. He's like, you know, you get this part. And then you see them interact. And he's like...

Oh yeah. I'm not making it hard. Yeah. Literally what he says is like, you're making it hard. You're making it really fucking hard right now. Mike, I enjoy like creep cast, Wendigoon, uh, Hunter, like all of them, like it become like the content I like watch, you know, if I'm in the shower, if I'm driving, like something like that, like it's just the perfect fucking, you know, well not my private shower time. Oh, pardon. He's my son. You did. Your public shower. My,

My public shower. You said my private shower time. I'm just like, whatever. All right, you got me on a dime. Yeah, okay. Hey, well, Eli blue screened last episode. I can blue screen this time. Blue screen super hard.

Oh, but the kid who posted that fucking documentary, though, the one thing I wanted to say is that he comes out at the end. He's like talking about Appalachia. And he's like, he's like, if you're from if you're from Appalachia, it should be by default. Assume that you're a racist until proven otherwise with his tassels hanging down and shit. And then he says he's really don't like this. Dude, I hate it. Thank you for having me. Oh, he's in Asheville? Yeah. Oh, Christ. I'm sorry, Cody. Oh, no.

Suck it up.

The urban outfitters wouldn't let me shit in their bathroom because I hadn't bought anything left. Are you... Pardon? No, this is a true story. I didn't know if it was a bit. No, I'm dead ass serious. That was a very specific thing. I ate Indian street food and I had diarrhea and I got attacked by a pit bull because a bitch didn't have it on a leash and I sprinted into a police station and the police lady at...

What does this have to do with what we're talking about? The police woman. The police woman. Sprinting into the police station, I had to take a...

shit and she got up in a panic assuming i had an emergency which i did i was about to shit my pants because the urban outfitters in ashville north carolina in 2016 didn't let me use their bathroom she said sir we don't have a public restroom i bought a 30 pair of socks you slut so i ran into the bathroom of the police station that's like a bad cracker like i shot my nuts off in the cracker barrel like an old boomer t-shirt it was my

Pants at a police station in Nashville. It was a pair of Legend of Zelda socks. I blow my asshole out in the stall. I come out. A guy is handcuffed, pissing at a urinal. I think his hands were in front of him. And I come out of the stall. And I go, how you doing, man? And he goes, having a better day than you sounds like, which is a great counter to hearing the violent diarrhea I just had.

But anyway, I digress. To be fair, he thought you were getting waterboarded in there. I was pissing on my B.O.H. You don't know shit about ass pisses. Asheville, North Carolina. It's the fucking, it's the L.A. of North Carolina. You can drive 10 minutes in any direction in North Carolina. You'll be in North Carolina, but Asheville is a cancer on that state. No, it's just like fucking Austin.

Austin of Texas. That's what Asheville is in North Carolina. Asheville's beautiful. It's a beautiful fucking place. Now you're all in a fucking nice place taken over by the hippies that want to ruin everything. That's why I live in Iowa. It's cold. They stay away.

You don't have many minorities. Oh, dude. Yes, we do. Like, yes, we do. Jesus Christ, Eli. I was just going off of cold. I mixed up. Minorities are. I hate the idea. Minorities are like, huh.

Sub degrees. Let's move there. Minorities know how coats work, okay? Like, it's fine. I'm out! Nice talking to you boys! Prove me wrong. No. No, can I tell you about... I've never told my astral story, dude. Iowa demographics. Oh, no. They don't even fuck it on Google. They don't even break it down by fucking like white, black, Hispanic. They break it down by which part of Europe you're from.

I'm dead fucking serious. Wait, wait, let me see this. Are you the right kind of white boy? Iowans are primarily Western European descent with large German. Can I tell you it's like 35%? Irish. Dude, you guys are going to fit. No, 13%. Show, tweak. 13% of y'all are living there. There's definitely not Mexican on here. 13% of the population of Iowa makes 50% of the potatoes. There is...

How many, I'm going to Google Mexicans in Iowa. Can I tell you my Asheville story? Yes. That's just like, we just say no. Cody's like, I know everyone just big Kanye energy with somebody in Paris. It's cool. Everyone just cut me off. I don't give a fuck. It's fine. Cody, let's hear your story. Okay. So Asheville, 2017.

I'm going through there. I'm making a vlog. I'm doing my vlog thing. I'm like, haha, this is fun. This is fucking cool. We get this one guy who's tatted up and just has all these piercings on his face and shit. He flicks me off. I'm like, alright, I'm not going to do anything about that.

Where are you, for context? Asheville, North Carolina. Yeah, no, but where were you? Like, in a restaurant? Yeah, yeah. We were just in the public square there in the middle of Asheville. And so I get home, I edit the vlog, I put it out, and someone was like, hey, that guy just got arrested. And so the dude that flicked me off, the tattooed up fucking everything on his eyes and stuff, it turned out he got arrested for they, like, took a cat,

And they shoved a bunch of needles into it.

and uh sorry this is this is a fucking sad story but they shoved a bunch of i'm serious like i like cody's story he's like let me follow this with it just that's no dude i just i just had him on camera and he flicked me off and i was like i'm not gonna beat his fucking ass and um yeah i get home and i upload it and then people are commenting and i go back and i'm like holy shit this guy just got arrested for shoving a bunch of

hypodermic needles needles in the fucking cats jesus christ so i don't know that's my story how long have you been doing youtube man eight years now holy shit it's impressive

How long have you been doing YouTube? Two years. Go fuck yourself. Fuck you. You don't deserve the success that you had because you absolutely do. You're one of the only content creators that I watch pretty much everything they do. You're also going to, however, you're going to surpass us all. It is very irritating from our perspective. Oh, there's 6% Mexicans in Iowa. Yeah, I got lucky.

Did you clip it? I was talking to him, not him. I genuinely thought you were talking to Elon. No, I was talking to Brandon on that actually. I got lucky with my meteoric rise. Bro. That was 6%. I got lucky.

That's all they need is right. I want dude fucking lawn care is so goddamn expensive in Ottawa. More Mexicans. A hundred. Oh dude, they're the best. Why? It's like, like,

Generally speaking, probably my favorite group. Why? Oh. So I married the farmer's daughter legitimately. My in-laws grow beef cattle. So I can get... Oh, that's awesome. There's this weird thing that happens where... As opposed to what kind of cattle?

milking cows or whatever, like different types of cattle for different types of things. Like just general, like they raise beef cattle, like to get slaughtered, to get turned into steaks and question. What did like, do you raise like bison? They could have like milk cows or different types of cows. But so they raise, they raise beef cattle and there's this thing with all the laws where if a cow, a beef cow shows up with any type of injury, they can't have it slaughtered.

Um, so like if it has a broken leg, that cow's done and that's like eight to $10,000 worth of money that that cow's worth that that farmer is just out now because like it broke its leg getting loaded onto the trailer to go to the slaughterhouse. And they're just like, fuck you eat it because we think that you abuse the animal or whatever now. So we can't take it. So there'll be like,

you know, there'll be like butchers or whatever and they slaughter them themselves. And then it's like, that's what the family eats and that's what they give to their friends. And so you get like super cheap ground beef and steaks and all this shit. And, um,

I do construction, so obviously I know a lot of Hispanic families, and they're like, bro. Obviously. Can you get me... Could you explain that remark? Yeah, explain. Yeah, they typically do construction. Why? They're really good at it. I don't know, but holy fuck are they fast. Do you know many mug people? Huh? Jesus.

No, they mostly do concrete and framing where I'm from. That's a deep cut for the podcast. But no, so like they're always like, bro, can you get me some some language? Can you get me cow tongue? I'm like, fuck yeah, I can. Like none of the people around that in Iowa eat cow tongue. I'm like, I'll get you. Oh, yeah. Nobody eats that shit. That's a huge thing. They don't do intestines, but like I have some of them that want like they're like, bro, can you get me a head? I was like, what do you mean? They're like, just fucking cut the head off and give me the head. We're going to put the whole.

head in a crock pot mixed stew and eat all the muscle i'm like that sounds dope can i you have i'll get you a head if i can have some and they're like oh for sure and then they just like give me all this fucking dope ass food it's fantastic you menudo i had to hide from sav what it was initially because i was like intestines oh it's like chitlins it's like a soup bowl just oh dude it's fucking um that's not corn it's what's it called um

Fuck. We're bad at this. We're the worst Mexicans in the goddamn world. I know what you're talking about, though.

And test it. It is the best hangover meal you will ever have. Oh, Cody. I've had chill-ins before and it's the worst shit I've ever had. No, if you had menudo, oh, menudo. It's the same fucking thing, dude. Comment about the being Mexican and hangover. Why is your watch not updated since the 29th? Oh! Oh! Oh!

You're the last one that I've never gotten before. You motherfucker. You've never gotten it? I've never gotten it before. You piece of fucking shit. It took so long. You just got me to actually soy jack. For real?

Cody, come back. This podcast is cool while it lasts. Cody drives his TRX in through the living room. He kills the song. I know how to call him back. I know how to call him back. What's up with you? Are you doing threes? That's not Cody behavior.

No, they're on the Zim's right now, dude. Dude, we never sit by each other! Ever since I gave you the Wet Willy the first time, we've never sat by each other. Yeah, I don't wanna sit by you all the time. I didn't realize it was intentional. I'm gonna sit by this dickhead. I even looked at Cody's watch and was like, "Huh?" Well, no, he boots me and he could me at any moment.

Nick scares me, dude. It's not that bad. The only thing that separates me and Nick is the gun that I have. Nick is a scary person. Especially with his fucking tank top. No pants running through the woods. I'm just thinking of Edward from Twilight sprinting through the Pacific Northwest forest. But you hear his feet slapping.

You assholes turned me into a cryptid. Dude, the best text we ever got from Nick was the morning the episode released. It was like two hours later. What the fuck did you guys do? And it's a picture of like Nick saying like, bro, I have like 50 DMs of me going like this with ram horns with a giant blurred out cock. You're welcome.

Do we have more of those? Poop tea. I want a poop tea. Speaking of how TikTok hates me for ranting about communism, it's like...

A lot of people were talking shit and they're like, wow, these guys are sponsored by Anheuser-Busch. And it's like, what? If we were. Because I had like Bush lights on the tables like, we have zero drink sponsors. Believe me. No alcohol selling company is going to sign off on this fucking shit show. That's why we call it poop tea. Because all of them have to say drink responsibly below their heads. Right. Never happening. Believe me. I'm not sponsored by Anheuser-Busch. And if I ever do get sponsored by Anheuser-Busch, there will be signs. Believe me.

I don't know what they're going to be, but they're going to be dumb. You're going to take the fucking Anheuser. You're just going to take like a bush light and put it on the couch with your MP5 and everything else I've seen you put there. That's my new favorite thing in life, by the way. I've seen you do it quite a lot. I've bought a lot of things recently and put them on that couch.

I weird you're right off casting couch and the amount of people that are like, it doesn't work that way. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. A hundred percent. I hate to break it to you, but yeah, it does. You almost had me dress up as Hannah.

That was going to be fucking hilarious. Which we should still do that. You want to do it? Oh, yeah. We're doing it. By the time. I can read that text. It was like, hey, can you put balloons as your tits? I was like, yeah. I mean, we basically agreed that me gender swap looks like your wife. Bro. It's a little scary, honestly. When Brandon did the AI gender swap. For one, I didn't do it. You fucking did it. It looks scary.

So much like my wife, it's upsetting. He gets a boner around me every fucking time. It's a little weird. No, actually. Why are you asking him to shave? Just every time I'm with Hannah, I was like, tell me about eggs. Why did I get bricked up on that? Collateral. Oh my God, it's bad. It's really bad. I hate you saying bricked up.

Oh, it's good to have the gang back together. Every time we're around each other, I'm like, this is why this exists right now. Yeah. We are the happiest guys. The four best friends that anyone could have. We're the four best.

Cody, how you doing? I don't know. You guys want to fucking bully me more? No, I was asking you. You were the only one that didn't get booped for fucking a year and a half, okay? I had to get you eventually. Yeah, because you wet-willed him. You just fucking f***ed his ear. Fuck off, Conor. You were like this.

That was good. I don't care what he did. He's the big brother that I want to fight, but I know it would just not go well. I love that you boot me and then the random light was like, kill me. We were shit-faced at your... Was it your birthday at your house that we celebrated? Oh, yes. I put on a surprise birthday. So we had a surprise birthday party for you and we were fucking just shit-wrecked. All my friends were like, should we do a surprise birthday for you? Yeah.

So we did that. And I was like, can I have your concealed carry, please? Cody went to hug me and I like arm dragged him just dicking around. And Cody like takes his gun out and sets on the car. Let's keep going. And it's just me and Cody wrestling on the tile floor in Eli's kitchen for 20 minutes. I love that all the rest of us just immediately looked at that and went.

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day this manslaughter brought to you by ptsd hey demetrius johnson's gonna fuck up all of us i can't wait oh dude such a good are you gonna wrestle him no yeah do it dude do it that motherfucker just went and won i think he won worlds at brown belt or like he was in so he he just got his black belt but right before that he went into a brown belt competition pause pause

UFC champion and pound for pound for how many years? Fuck it. Like five to eight years. He was pound for pound best in 2010. Yeah, he's incredible. And just got his what? He just got his black belt. 2024.

Like, pound for pound on the ultimate fighting champion, deadly as human with his hands. For sure. 100%. He is also 5'3 and 130 pounds. So, yeah, like, right. But hear me out. The motherfucker was in a brown belt jiu-jitsu tournament at a high level up against another brown belt, somebody that in theory is comparable skill level to him.

And he went into the absolute division. Absolute means there's no weight classes. Oh, God. This motherfucker was 275 pounds. It looked like Demetrius Johnson was his child. And Demetrius Johnson. Don't talk to me or my son ever again. He went in there and.

Tapped the dude out. Finished him. No shit. This dude literally threw him off of him multiple times. And Demetrius Johnson... So, like, in jiu-jitsu, you can, like, pull guard where you, like, pull the bigger dude on top of you, which is usually, like, the meta strategy. This guy fucking... Demetrius Johnson went in there and wrestled and took the significantly larger man down and then choked him out.

What, what, uh, how much, uh, did the guy weigh? Like 275. So literally double his weight. A hundred and yeah. Denetrius Johnson was 125 when he, granted that's like his fighting weight. So he's probably 150 at most. At probably 135. Like fully hydrated walking around. Cause he's about like. Yeah. I don't think he cut very much weight anyways. No, he probably doesn't cut much. Literally twice his size. And he just went in there and choked the guy out. It's like.

Because you booped me, I'm going to make him fight you. Fuck off. No. We're all fighting him. I'm going to tell you right now. No, we're not. That's a great Pepperbox episode. I've been doing like jujitsu and martial arts for a long time. I'm significantly more scared of smaller guys than I am of bigger guys. Oh, no. Like bigger guys. It's like he's going to crush me. It's going to be really uncomfortable. Smaller guys, it's like.

That motherfucker's going to teleport and be on my back, and it's going to be awful. Like, it's a lose-lose situation. It is very much true on how that works a lot of times. But Nick, you booped me. Fuck you, Cody. Guess who my friend is? Demetrius Johnson. This is a good, this is a very good Pepperbox episode. I'm going to boop him too. Oh, hell yeah. There's an audible gas from the...

peanut gallery demetrius johnson is so fucking fast i bet i go huh and he just goes he looks and then still blocks it he's so fast jim croce's fucking uh time in a bottle starts playing is he just like no for sure he's so fast i picture this you go like this you're slamming against the wall and he has you in an arm bar i'm getting suplexed the on-set sign breaks in half

Like, what happened? Brandon and I are back here, like, yeah. In slow motion. It's just the new X-Men Quicksilver scene. Just like, fuck. Oh, Nick's dead. Yeah. Yeah. That's a, I think we do, like. I want to see how, because, like, the dude is so fast. I want to see how fast that, like, with some training, how fast could that dude draw a gun and fire?

I bet it's insanely fast. We can train him. That's what I'm saying. That's because we have the boxing gym. This can be a full. The gang does MMA. The gang does UFC. We go to Tony's gym in the ring. We all have to wrestle him. Nope. I'm not interested. I'm not fine. I stand up fight. That's the one dude. I'm going to get humble. Nope.

I would rather spar than roll. No, we get to do both. You would rather roll. Trust me. Are you sure? I'm a thousand percent sure. I kind of want to know. No, you don't. Who wants to see the game does? No, you don't. Demetrius Johnson is now... Don't get me wrong. I don't think I will win by any means. No, you don't understand how bad it's going to be. Demetrius Johnson.

Demetrius Johnson has climbed to the top of the mountain, and now he's just doing fucking side quests. Oh, yeah. He went in and had, like, an exhibition match with Rod Tang. Rod Tang is, like, the best fucking Muay Thai fighter on the planet. And they had a tournament where it was like, okay— Rod Tang is absolutely—if you don't know who he is, he is the most terrifying fighter. That is a dude that— Rod Tang is horrifying. Dude, this is a guy that's like—

Like, if you watch his fights, he, dude, when he was fighting a world champion and his, he made this dude's entire side literally black and blue because he just kept kicking until the dude gave up. Rod Tang, well, Rod Tang, like, breaks his opponents because he'll, like, get cracked with a super hard shot and he'll look at them and go...

I don't give a fuck. And then go in there and beat the fuck out of this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, he's horrifying. He's a hundred and something fights. And Demetrius Johnson went in there, did a whole round of striking with him and did pretty damn well considering did not get finished. And then the next round was MMA and took him down and choked him out immediately.

jesus horrifying so do we do the gang does mma or do we all get to fight him at once no i'm still not optimistic but that's the only way i'm doing it i think if we can each i feel like he would he would go way harder on us if it was all against him which i don't think i want that smoke or against one he's gonna fucking crack us in the face as hard as possible i do one-on-one and be like hey it's like sparring please

I'm going to say please at the end of this. Please, sir. I didn't tell you about this. I had a dream last night.

that i i had a uh another boxing match that i took that was today tony gonzalez no it was some random fucking youtuber or whatever who was actually like looked like he could fucking fight i was like oh god i haven't boxed in forever eli help and you're like yeah man you didn't know about that yeah you're just smiling really you didn't fucking plan but you have you did that

Smug smile. He's like, you have fun with that, buddy. Like, you were in my fucking dream. Like, yeah. You'll do it. It's the asshole Eli. Yeah. You got this, buddy. He's like, yeah, you'll do good. All right. Brandon's like, this is my worst nightmare. That is considered a nightmare. Except when...

Are we all going to do fights on one card together? I would love that. I feel like that'd be pretty cool. Who needs one? I'm good. I'll take one. That was the funny part is when we were doing the fight through DAZN, Akeem was saying, dude, it's so hard to find somebody who will fight you. I have no fucking prior fight experience. I had never thrown a punch outside of a bar fight before.

six weeks before the fucking pro fight I took. But they were just like, yeah, this guy has a beard and shoots a bunch of guns. We don't really want to fight this guy. Which is crazy to see how that is like a demoralizer. We're like, nah. Well, I mean, we live a life where if you see our highlight reel as just like a California influencer, you're like, this guy can fuck my bitch. I really don't want to be here. Can pro boxers have beards?

They can? Yeah. How come none of them do? Because it's the little cushion or whatever. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I thought there was a rule that super high-level pro boxers couldn't have beards. I don't think so. Because none of them – I don't think – when I think of – I mean, obviously, what you did was pro. But when I think of somebody that's a pro boxer, that's their actual career path. None of them have beards ever.

I didn't think they could have beards because it was like, one, it's a little bit of cushion, but two, it helps with glancing and stuff. So I thought that... Well, they also rub Vaseline all over your face beforehand, which I think the beards actually hurt.

Because if you just have Vaseline on your skin. Yeah, that's true. It actually, like, it helps with the glancing versus the beard, I think, retains it better. Keith Herman, John Ruiz, Robert Dern. Oh, yeah, Dern. I'm talking under my ass, by the way. Yeah. So they've had him. It just depends on who. Okay, okay. Frazier had one. Dude, oh, my God. Peterson. I was going to say, because, like, in jiu-jitsu, like, having a big-ass beard and long hair makes, like, it's an advantage almost. Really?

Yeah, because if you have a beard down to here, it's illegal to pull your hair. And now your beard is blocking your fucking neck. So I can't choke you through it. You know what I mean? So it's kind of an advantage.

So, like, I'd have a big-ass beard if I was fighting. Well, yeah, that's the jiu-jitsu rules where it's illegal to pull the hair, but, like, if you're actually fighting somebody, like, that's the first fucking thing you do. I mean, yeah. It's also illegal in jiu-jitsu to throw a punch unless you're holding fabric in your hand. I'm going to grab your shirt and then...

Yeah, and then you do the fucking jerk across the chin. I'm going for a choke. What are you talking about? I was establishing a grip. Fuck off. We were talking about that earlier today where it's like... Aiming for the chin strap. Yeah. Boxing, it's like... Yeah. I will... I'll just be like, oh, I'm moving my fist aside. Yeah, last night. To move your fist aside so it can cross. Dude, boxing and wrestling, like, as a jujitsu person that's been doing it forever...

boxing and wrestling are the two most horrifying like martial arts on the planet to me because it's like jujitsu is cool. Cause there's like 50 different ways I can finish you. And you don't know which way I'm coming wrestling. There's one way to win. Put that motherfucker shoulder blades on the ground. I know it's coming. You know, it's coming. It's going to be infinitely harder boxing. I'm going to punch you in the face. I've got two arms to fucking do it. I'm going to do it anyways. So it's like, there's such a narrow path to victory. The skill level of like, yeah,

It can't be that hard to punch somebody. The fuck it's not. It's super hard. You'd be wrong. You want a reality check? It's fight somebody that boxes. That is the most humbling experience you will ever have is, hey, put on these gloves. I know how to fight. I can't hit him. That was our first. We've said this a million times. The first time I ever sparred you with no experience. I'm thinking, I'm a guy. I can throw a punch. I've done it before. I'm a jabber.

He's just literally just keeping me at a distance with a jab alone. And I just throw down my hands after like two minutes. I'm like, Eli, what am I learning? What am I supposed to do? Because I don't know what to do right now.

This is nothing like a Patrick Swayze movie. What is wrong? I'm just getting punched in the face and I hate it. I understand. This is the first seven seconds of my Eye of the Tiger montage. But like, seriously, what the fuck am I supposed to do here? Because you go in, you're like, I've barf. I've watched movies. I know how this goes. I can just do this. And then a jab enters the ring. No, you can't. You get punched in the nose. It's a different skill set.

That's why I love hockey. Hockey is the most realistic fighting on the planet. Because hockey is like step one, establish the distance, step two. Everyone just punch it over and over until the ref stops it. There's no in between. God.

The like legitimately, I watch a lot of fucking documentaries and I love like war shit. The best documentary on the planet is on Netflix and it's called ice guardians. Like you guys should watch it. You'd fucking love it. So like, um, it's all about hockey and how hockey really cracked down on fighting. And ever since hockey cracked down on fighting the, the amount of brain injuries has gone through the fucking roof.

It seems counterintuitive, but back in the old, like, 90s, early 2000s, 80s, all of hockey, there's always been the role of, like, the enforcer, right? There was always some just monster that, like, if you fuck with my skill players, it's my job to fuck you up. Like, that's the rule. The eye of Sauron. Exactly. It's like the Sean William Scott movie.

Goon. Goon. Exactly. He was the enforcer. Don't touch my fucking Percocets. Second rule. You got any fucking Percocets? Right. So he was the enforcer or whatever, right? And the NHL cracked down on fighting and they basically got rid of that enforcer rule. And what that meant was now there was no direct consequences for cheap shotting people.

So like now you have dudes going out there skating at 30 miles an hour, throwing an elbow to the back of somebody's head and they know they can get away with it because there's not some fucking roided out monster that's going to come beat the fuck out of you. Right. So now brain brain injuries have just gone through the roof because there's no underlying threat of violence. Yeah. They're not scared of anything. Exactly. So it basically greenlit cheap shots.

It's also kind of like boxing versus MMA because looking at it, you think MMA, you have way lighter gloves. Pro fights, 10-ounce gloves. MMA is like, what, 3 1⁄2? Something like that. I think 4-ounce, right? Yeah. You've got that huge difference. You've got the fact that they could just kick you in the head. You've got all this shit going for you.

And you'd think like, okay, MMA is way more dangerous than boxing. It's not. Fucking not even close. It's like boxing is like 12 times as likely to kill you. Yeah. There's been death. How many MMA deaths has been like five? Like a couple. Yeah, total. And most of those are like not at a super high level. No. No.

versus boxing. You know why boxing's dangerous? Because you get knocked out four fucking times and get back up and then have to fight more versus MMA. When you get staggered or dropped for the most part, that's the end of it. Yeah. They're going to fucking hammer some hammer fat fist you. And then the reps going to be like, ah, yeah.

Boxing, you can get up over and over and over. So you can get literally six times. You can get knocked down six times. You can get knocked out in what would have been a finish in six MMA fights.

And you can have that all in one boxing match. And then these guys go out there. Like, what's Floyd Mayweather got? 50 some odd fucking fights. Not that he gets knocked out. But, like, just the volume of fights these guys do. It's like they have way worse brain damage. Fury versus Yusek. That is a perfect example. Yusek in the 9th or 10th. We showed it. Like, Yusek fucking just rocked Fury. Fury's like.

Like stumbling across the ring. And it was a solid 30 seconds where Fury is like,

out on his feet, and then finally the ref was like, hold up, and did a standing 10 count. So you have a standing... Not, hey, homeboy's fucking out. This isn't like... It's like you've got a period to establish, like, is this guy conscious? Who's the other guy he fought that dropped him? And Fury got up at the 10 count. Wilder. When he fought Wilder, he got up like the fucking Undertaker. Fury goes over 7. Fury's like...

From what Wilder is considered one of the hardest hitters of all time. He's got one of the coldest quotes of all time. That was the one we watched at your house, right? And he stood up and he was like, uh. Yeah, yes. Deontay Wilder? Yeah, Deontay Wilder. And Fury got up from that fucking punch, which is absolutely insane, and then finished the fight. That became a meme. After he got rocked, he just gets up like, whoa. Yeah, he was like, whoop. Sat up, stood up.

Fury, again, he lost the USAC fight, but it shows to show his heart because he recovered from the USAC. Lost it still, but he recovered from that. Even the Wilder fight, he recovered from it. MMA, other than who was the one guy that turned it around? Dale French. French by Chuck Congo when he got knocked out three times. And then he fucking turned around and knocked out Pat Berry. Chuck Congo. We've met Chuck Congo.

Chet Congo is the tallest, most scary dude you'll ever meet. He's been at the Bernie events. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's the French kickboxer? Looks like a goddamn Calvin Klein model. He was when they opened up the BRCC Bernie store. He was out there. Chet was there. Chet is sick.

6'6". 6'4". Solid fucking muscle. Dude, this is like the tallest French black man you would never... I remember when he walked up, I was like, you're a fighter? Because I didn't recognize him at first. He was like... And I was like...

Holy shit, you are! Dude, he was so nice. Like you're saying, he's 6'6", and I was just like, very nice to meet you, sir. It's all these guys. Please be my friend. The guys that can easily kill you with their hands are the guys that have killed, God knows, more people than pancreatic cancer. Most of the time, they're like, Celtic boys or whatever. They're like the nicest fucking people, because it's like, they've got nothing to prove. Zero. Zero to prove. They just get to go through life. They...

No one will fight me. I will fucking wreck them. They're like the chillest guys ever. Because they know their position in life. They're like, I don't have to show off. Period. Ever. In my life. Which is why the people that can skin you, what is it,

Stem to sternum. Those are the people that go back a couple of podcasts. Stem to sternum. You are going to be defeated by diabetes. So check if you want to watch the scariest knockout. Check was one. Check Congo versus Pat Berry. Dude, he was out on his feet. Check is just like three times. He's a fucking ragdoll simulator just bouncing around, getting knocked out, getting fucked.

Oh, he showed me that one, I think. And he should have been knocked out. Like, the ref should have stopped that fight. And thank God he didn't. Because then Chet goes like this. And just fucking drops him. And the dude goes instantly. Knocks the dude out. That's, you know, Rose Namajunas? That's her husband. Wait, no shit. Yeah, Pat Barry. Yeah. That's who that was. Pat Barry was knocking the fuck out of him.

out of chat congo for third imagine you're beating a dude's ass where he is stumbling he's falling getting back up and he is just discombobulated the entire time and you're like what the fuck i just gotta hit this guy one more time he'll go down and then that fucking dude flailing around around just like oh knock out throws a hook crushes your soul and you just collapse instantly completely out

This is 30 seconds of beating a dude's ass that you think is out for the count. And then he just throws a random hook and you drop and don't know what's going on. Who was a ref? That had to have been Herb Dean or Big John. Yeah, I would have said Herb Dean. It was a really good. Where he's not paying attention to fuck all. So I went out to California for a couple of days. Yeah. And do you know who I made friends with over everyone? Every other man in California. Gavin Newsom. It was Gavin Newsom.

No. So like, I'm, I'm, I wandered around California for a couple of days. Right. When, when was this? Sorry. It was last week. No shit. Yeah. What part of California? San Diego. Okay. Yeah. I just went out there, want to make peace with mother ocean. Um, so I went out there and I was hanging out with a couple of people and like, I couldn't make friends with anyone. Dude, Cody, I, I, my favorite text is like, yo, what's wrong with all these dudes out here? They.

there were these dudes who had like super hot girlfriends and stuff they're like hey man you want me to buy you something you want to buy you a drink and like they're you know they're just being fucking okay i'm not gonna say the word again but that's they just they just didn't act like men and the only two dudes that i made friends with out there were two jujitsu black belts

And they were like, hey, man, you want to come fucking hang out with us? I was like, hell yeah, dude. I'll come hang out with you. I don't know. It's just a testament to how was it? What? Who was it? The dudes? Yeah. No, there's two friends at a bar. But no, every every dude out in California that I met in San Diego because I just went out there for a couple of days, clear my head, fucking wanted to surf for a little bit. And dude, seriously, every single dude out there just like talk like a woman.

I was like so thrown off by it.

I just love the corner over here. He's just laughing right now for those like, there's a Christ. There's probably a lot of guys who are watching the podcast that are Americans, but they've never traveled America. Like we we've had a really blast opportunity, you know, fucking go from California to the East coast, like everywhere in between, see all the different like types of people. And there's the meme of, you know, like the California fucking hippie, like the soft handed bitch, uh,

and everyone else and it's accurate it is so fucking accurate it is it is that is a real thing we talk in california cowboys that have never lifted a weight in their goddamn life like it's that's the thing this happened i were talking about this last night we were like because she was like how do dudes talk like this how like from both ends of the spectrum where you have like

Super nerdy. I'm just like, I'm putting somebody on a pedestal or that where it's like, hey, what's up? And you don't know. You're just like no man behind you, but you're acting like that. It's fucking crazy. You can live that lifestyle and be like, hey, you know how you do this? Hey, guys, quick, quick just lesson for all of you out there. It's like, yeah.

Treat everyone equally. Don't put anyone on a pedestal. If you want fucking pussy, you know what the best opportunity is? Treat them like a friend. Don't put them on a pedestal and be like, oh, you're unattainable. That's never going to work for you. Also, when you're a dude, just be a fucking dude. Like, be a...

Dude, if you want to go shoot guns, if you want to go have fun, if you want to surf. Masculinity is not a problem. No, it's never a bad thing to just be a fucking dude. I think everybody at the table kind of proves the fact like you can like fucking anime for you guys. You can, you know, you can like video games. You can be a nerd. You can be an autist. But then at the same time, you can also shower, use deodorant, have a firm handshake and know how to beat up a motherfucker. Yeah.

Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can know all of the things. Literally. I've been doing jiu-jitsu for a long time. The autistic ones are the scariest. Yeah. For sure. You guys have a superpower. You haven't even started that fucking skill tree, dude. No. Unfortunately, you unlock that skill tree and a lot of you are like, I really like jiu-jitsu. Girls come at you like you're not jiu-jitsu. There's nothing.

like I'm like I'm the like I'm like it's me and my best friend Calvin are the top dudes at our gym Calvin owns it and like I'm the right hand man I'm a higher rank than he is and it's like whenever there's some new guy that comes in we have to roll with them and it's like they're not mean but like these dudes come in and it's like their fucking delts are connected to their earlobes and they're like

I wrestled for a little while my entire fucking life. Jesus Christ. This is going to be horrible. Especially when they say a little while. I wrestled a little. And you're like your entire life. It's always like 20 years. I was like, because every time it's like, yeah, okay. Fill out the paperwork, your name, you know, sign the waiver in case you get hurt, whatever, whatever. Yada, yada. You ever done jujitsu? No. You ever done judo? No. You ever wrestled?

A little bit. I go, what's a little bit? I D1 for four years. I almost made it to the Olympics. I'm like, fuck.

This guy's gonna try to kill me. He's gonna be so absurdly strong. It's insane. It's the worst. He's just... Dude, I will say, with Tism and fighting, it's fun. It's the worst. Dude, it is a joy. Brandon will tell you, when I get in a ring, I'm very happy about it. It's annoying as shit. I hate it. I am the happiest person where I'm at peace in a ring. Imagine I get a fight, and I am at peace where I'm like, this is my face.

And I didn't know that was fucking weird until I started fighting other people. I'm like, why aren't they happy fighting? Apparently that's not a happy place to be. Imagine a smiling face punching

It is my happiest place. I'm like, yeah, I get to fight. Yeah, I get to fight. Like, ha! Alright, I like trains and I like punching people in the face. Fuck. This guy's got to be really good at it. Man. Oh, no. He's a train conductor. He's going to beat my ass. It's the worst. It's like shooting, too. Like anything where it's just that is their happy zone. Bro.

I've been going out and shooting with PewView all the time now because he's like 30 minutes from my house. I swear to God that guy is autistic about shooting. That is the only guy where we talked about earlier. PewView, we play Ace VR. He shoots. I will beat his score. He'll come back and he's like, dude, that took me six tries. I was like...

Dude. Well, I was talking like I've talked to people and they're like, yeah, you know, like what he does is impressive in his videos. But like, it's like this, you know, it's probably like a dude. Perfect situation. Like how many tries do you take him? No, I went to his gun range and shot with him.

That's not you. Borderline, not fucking edited. That dude literally walks out as like 170 yards with a three inch barrel pistol, one handed thing and just fucking drops the target. It's insane. So for reference on SVR, there is one. What is the 10 centimeter thing?

You know the 10 centimeter from 25 yards. Oh, I know what you're talking about. I don't know the name of it. It took him six times to fucking score. You could just say like three, four inch. We're Americans. Is it three? I don't know the inch. 10 centimeter? Yeah. Is that three? Like 3.4 inch, I'm going to say, because I don't know metric. So Nick will tell you about this. Fat electrician will tell you how fast.

fucking difficult this one is at 25 yards because i told him about the shot group 3.9 inches yeah four inches four inches i told nick i was like someone say too big some might say that some might say average i don't know why they don't adequate no honey you're fine the the tight ones hurt me the big ones hurt me not the tight ones it's how you use it babe that's your experience

I mean, it hurts when they, like, sneeze. It's like a cigar cutter. They put a kink in it like a balloon animal's poodle tail. You know what I'm talking about? Here, have that happen.

Connor's about to die. He's coming to snort on the fucking podcast. Jesus Christ. So. Wasn't you the one? I'm sorry. This is a total tangent. Wasn't you the one that was telling me about the PlayStation? Yeah. Wait, what? Wait, hold on. What? I was hoping that was you. I was thinking about this like three days ago.

Okay, go on. I'm lost. We were in Salt Lake, I think. We were in Salt Lake City. My best friend, he was the best man at my wedding. We were in high school at the time. I've been with my wife since high school. He's like, bro, I just don't like going down on women. I'm like, why? He's like, it doesn't taste that good. I was like, was it sour? He's like, no. I'm like, did it taste like ravioli and pennies? He's like,

Oh my God. How did you know that? I'm like, she was, she was like just about to go on her period or just got off her period. Try again in a couple of days. And I go, good. It's like the heat coming out the back of a PlayStation. Okay.

That shit smells like hot electronics and it's perfect. I, uh... Nothing. Oh, shit. You know it's gonna be fantastic when she takes her pants off and it smells like she's been mining for Bitcoin all night? It's gonna be great. ... ... ... ...

I just, a daily reminder, my parents watch this podcast. Your dad knows. I'm going to go fucking **** myself. Give me that Bitcoin, baby. Oh, Jesus Christ. Non-fungible tokens. They're fungible, all right? Oh, God.

I don't even know where I'm going. Christ alive. You lost it. Sorry about that. I'm sorry. I remember that randomly like a week ago and I'm like, I swear to God, it had to be Nick. That's a fucking Nick story. It's gotta be a Nick story. It's one of my better bits. I don't even know where my story was. Cody, how do you feel about that statement? It's fucking deleted. Cody, you remember the Salt Lake PlayStation bit about eating? No. What? Do you remember this? Which one?

Tell me if I'm right. We're going in. Good. Smells like the heat coming out the back of a PlayStation. Oh my God, yes. Is that what you guys were doing? Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I had to take a pee break. Jesus Christ. That's easily one of the best yet most vulgar bits we've ever done on the podcast. So relatable. It's a thousand percent accurate, though. I'll die on this hill.

Tweaks over there, "Die." Connor is crying right now. I think Connor just shit himself about fucking. Connor's got sunglasses across the yard. Trust about to die. I don't know what this episode is going to look like, but I know it's going to look better on PepperBox.

It smells like PlayStation turning on. Can you say it? I think it's a great time for that.

Cody closes his house. That bit went about five minutes longer than it should have been. You want me to close it out? Close it out. Thank you guys for joining the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Fat, Mr. Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera, and myself, Donut Operator. Please go to the

The Patreon. The Patreon. Do it. Because we're going to have a, I don't know, 10 minutes, 15 minutes on there. Two hours, whatever. We're going to talk about girls and PlayStation come or something. PlayStation. Quack bang out. Quack bang out. I'll see you sexy YouTube mother lovers next time. Kisses.

We'll be right back.