153 - Twitter War & Live Show Chaos ft. The Fat Electrician
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Four years. That's how long it took Democrats to ruin our economy and plunge our southern border into anarchy. Who helped them hurt us? Ruben Gallego. Washington could have cut taxes for Arizona families, but Ruben blocked the bill. And his fellow Democrats gave a bigger break to the millionaire class in California and New York. They played favorites and cost us billions. And Ruben wasn't done yet.

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I went 12 years without seeing a homeless guy's dick. It took me seven minutes in Austin. No! No! I want to do a GoFundMe for whoever is running Toadie's Twitter. Well, I'm autistic, sir. For a solid two months, we were very questionable. I'm dying. Hey, everyone. First off, I just got to say thank you from the bottom of all our hearts for the amazing reception right now on the merch. This shirt...

Full Metal Spectrum. The amount of support we have received for Autism Awareness Month has been amazing. Ah, thank you so much. This is near and dear to all of our hearts. And thankfully, it's near and dear to all of you. You guys are just crushing it. I can't say thank you enough. We have the Full Metal Spectrum. We have the Spectrum Gunship. And we have the TISM Toucher up right now in all the proceeds. All the proceeds are going to two different nonprofits.

The first one is the National Autism Association. Second one is the Organization of Autism Research. Both of these nonprofits are amazing. They're not only doing research in the subject of autism, but they're helping the families that might need some support or cover down or even therapy and getting those kiddos or adults the best life they can live.

I can't wait to see how big this gets. We have already crushed our goal and I want to see, I want to set a freaking standard and show how amazing this community is. So from the bottom of all our hearts, thank you all so much. I am at a loss of words. So go buy a t-shirt. It all goes, literally all of it goes towards an amazing cause. And we are just super blessed to have you all around.

Are you going to do this every time now? Yeah. Oh, really? It's my new thing for my second podcast of the day. Oh, yeah. I mean, you started with the first podcast. Yeah, I did that with the first one, too. It was the first podcast? Yeah, we already did one today. Oh, no shit. Yeah, I'm going hard. Good luck, buddy. Oh, my God. That's what I can crush in life. It'll be a good one. Ready? Oh, three, two, wait, three, two, one. My boy.

Hi everyone, welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by, I said it right that time. I know, I was gonna, we were gonna, I was like, he nailed it. Not a billion people watching right now. Fucking a boy nailed it. We'll talk about that. Cody's here to thank you. Eli Double Tap.

Fat electrician, Brandon Herrera. And our boy Cody Operator. Cody Operator. Holy shit. It's been a rough week, guys. I didn't say that for four shows or something. Yeah, we were just like, all right, when we open it up, we'll do this, this, this. Obviously, we'll do the...

You know, the live shows that we did, which thank you guys all for coming out. That was a really good time. Y'all fucking rock. Thank you. If you came to say it in the comments, we had a fucking blast. We're going to start out with, you know, crack in the can and everything. And then right after, have Cody open us up with the tip, the line. It's the line. It's saying the thing. Say it. Hi, everyone. Hi.

yeah that didn't fucking happen apparently we kept like hold up hold up like cody do you have something to say hi hi hi something you're like i said it no we're all just like no dude you sit down you'd be like okay i got it today we're introducing it's like and the last one was my favorite because it was the bar two hours before this show we're talking to cody cody

You got to get this one right, buddy. He's like, I know, I know. It's fucking, there's a lot of people. He's like, I got it. I got it. He's like, okay. Hi, everyone. Hi, everyone. He sits down.

Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. We were all just like, God damn it. We stopped the whole show. That was so wild, though. I've never done a live audience thing before, and we sold out four fucking shows. That was fun. That was crazy. That was wild. It was a great time. It was a lot like skydiving. You hate it at first, and then you're like, oh, this is pretty fucking dope.

Scary, but still pretty fucking dope. It took until the second show where I'm like relaxed in the middle. I'm like, okay, I can do these. I think I like doing this. And by Dallas, I'm like, man, I'm sad this is over.

It was a good time. It was a lot of great people too. I think that I like it probably. Dude, that crowd interaction is my favorite part. Y'all are just weaponized autism. Listen to you scream no matter what was being said. Bro, you want to know what my favorite part was? Which part? How many people came up afterwards? Because we did the VIP thing afterwards, the meet and greet. It was like 150 people. Every show, four sold out shows. They came up and they're like,

Hey, dude, I just didn't waste myself because I love you guys and you helped me. There was a lot of amazing amount of that. It was cool. Dude, everyone is like breaking down a little bit, which is yeah.

Just being super supportive of those people. Cause they were, they were being heartfelt. It's like, Hey man, I just want each one of us to be like, Hey, thank you so much for what you guys are doing. And that's why we do it at the end of the day is like for moments like that. And I want a big shout out to King trout for yelling at that. Yeah. He had to doubt a couple of kids. I forgot about that. Yeah.

We had one dude come up and he was a very heartfelt moment. He's like, hey, my dad died last year. Like, I'm really thankful for you guys. And there were like two teenagers in the back laughing at him because he like because that dude shed a tear a little bit. And Trout was like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Leave. Yeah. Do you want to enjoy VIP from the parking lot? That's what's about to happen. And that's like being respectful. Bros.

Any of us can cry. Y'all can cry. It's quite all right. It's opening up feelings. Ain't gay. Nah, nevermind. Fuck that. You push it down. You be a man about it and you die at 56 or a heart attack. It's like the Bill Burr bit. And you swallow a bullet like every normal veteran. Oh God.

Just deep down, let it consume your heart. G-Van, crop his face over his body when he says that. No, no, no, don't do that. South Park face. God. But that's something that speaks to what we've said since day one on the podcast. It's like, look, this is the way that real dudes talk, and especially when it comes to the veteran community and stuff like that. They need shit like this.

Because like that sort of camaraderie that like feeling like you're hanging out with one of the boys and cracking the fucked up jokes and doing the stuff like that. That's a social faux pas today. Like that's what really helps these people. Yeah. And then it's also when there are an emotional response or anything, you'd be supportive of that. You show them it's like, hey, you're being heard. You've been listened to. And we love you, especially that's what this community is for. Yeah. Everyone's nailing it across the board here at this table. And I mean, yeah.

Fucking just, if I can jerk these dudes off real quick. Again? Everyone covered down so fucking hard. You guys, like, we were all, going into it, it was very doubtful because it is chestnut checkers. It is very stressful, and it's doing other things, but getting out of that comfort zone, which we discussed, which is a million people behind a camera, too easy. Yeah.

500 people in front of, then you're like, oh, hey, what's up, guys? Woo! That's a lot of you motherfuckers. Hi, everyone. Because I can bomb in front of a camera, feel nothing about it, and then my editor can clean it up. You bomb in front of a live audience, you're fucked, dude. You get one shot. But like...

I don't know. It's really hard to bomb in front of the audience that only came there for you. Yeah. It's not like open mic night where we have to like win them over. Everybody there already knows all the inside jokes. I think it just took us a couple of shows to figure that out. And then everyone just, and then like each one just covered down like Cody's like, that was your big, that is your biggest for you. Like this fucking, you're not a public speaker. You're very open about that. You're like, hi. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

First show, Cody's like, you nervous? I was like, I mean, a little bit. How are you? He's like, I'm dying. And then Rich ran out there in a kilt and mooned the entire audience to open up. So that kind of broke the ice. That helped a lot.

Showing his ass is nothing new. That happened. Everyone just covered down. I was like, oh, my boys are so proud. Fucking Brandon just killed it up there. Fucking Nick crushing it with stories. Dude, everyone just... Like, everyone had their jokes. No one was stepping on each other. Episode four, like that fourth one, just... That was perfection. And now we will be doing in fall two to three more on bigger venues because...

We know who we're bringing. We know how to do the sets now. We learned really quickly. And then we had a fucking blast because that hour and a half went by.

Yeah, that was quick. Dude, that last one, I had to stop it early. Yeah, we could have went longer on that one. That was having fun. I kind of wanted to almost like, yeah, that's what I was saying toward the end. It's like, man, I'm like, I'm not ready to be done with this yet, man. I know the first the first show we were all kind of feeling it some more than others. But yeah, I don't know. Having meat canyon out there with the funnest shit ever. Papa meat when he got that buzz go like he was like he was getting the flow and then the buzz hit.

And then he's like, want to hear my dad? Oh, God. We didn't tell them. God, because they don't know about it. So, yeah, we didn't record many of the shows.

Did we record any of that? No. That's an exclusive live content. Papa Meat came out there and he played a voicemail by his dad. It was a voice memo. He was there in person. That was a voice memo. He said his dad's so funny that whenever he interacts with him, he records everything.

And he has this video of his dad telling a story and it's fucking hysterical. This is like post his mom just getting out of surgery or meets mom. They're divorced. Dad's visiting in the hospital or at the home while she's recovering. And then the dad is just talking about like... Them titties. Them 28-year-old titties. Talking about like getting flashed by some chick somewhere or...

I don't know. And his dad's voice is just pure redneck. The most redneck voice you can imagine. Yeah, his dad's voice sounds like him doing a voice impression like he would do in one of his tunes. But just playing that directly into the microphone for all of us, my God. Dude, the audience was dying during that. Just dying. And then, dude, superpowers. I love we ended it always with just audience interaction. Like, hey, we're doing the offenders. Yeah.

Yeah, three out of the four shows, it was rich, angry cops going through the audience, just getting people's superpower. Yeah, really, yeah. He was just roasting all of you. But getting the superpowers from the audience, and then we had to all pick the offset. It was good. That was a good time. No, it was fun. We couldn't have asked for a better time. And then the hangovers each and every night.

I was fine the entire time. That was weird. I was surprised. You guys, even on the last show, they went to eat. I took a 45 minute nap. Just old manning it up. Shows like, Hey, we're going there. I was like, I'm going to sleep. Actually. We filmed a podcast earlier with a habitual wine crosser and a demo demo. And we were talking about that show with them. And I said that,

Eli was literally like Gandalf leading the three hobbits desperately trying to get us to do the right thing all the time. But the hobbits are alcoholics. And I'm looking around like, where the fuck are Brandon and Cody? Cody had the ring? Shit. You sent Brandon and Cody to Mordor with just a loaf of bread in the ring? Jesus Christ. And a bottle of whiskey? No, no, no. Where the fuck are they? Google Maps, closest bar. I've got a good idea.

We were the last ones to board the plane on Southwest every flight. Yeah. Oh, fuck you, Eli. Southwest. Jesus Christ. Fuck you guys. You guys forced me to go into a bar and be the last one to board. I get to walk down a full flight like it's the Isle of Shame, just being the world's biggest shitty lottery ticket. Just everybody with a middle seat open is like, fuck, do I got to sit next to the hairy guy that's 260 pounds in the middle? Yeah.

Just let me rub my hairy triceps. You can feel my tricep hair or you can get sweat on you. Those are the two options. I tried to pick the safest one. You had to go into a bar and hang out with us. Oh, I see. Yeah, I mean...

Oh, God. Speaking of, the bar was fun after the last night. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. Wait, real quick. That fucking person I said, those two, that... Oh, the dude? Oh, God. Bro, I had to hear it, too. I had to hear it, too. Learn to read body language. If a dude is like this...

Well, you're talking means he doesn't want to listen. I pulled my hat down. Eli was, I looked over because the conversation was so fucking stupid that Eli was like this in the chair. And I could just, the only thing moving was his finger as I could see him scrolling on his phone as he was pretending like he was asleep. It was fucking hilarious. What was one of the lines this guy said? I don't, this dude, first of all, this guy was like 58 years old, not in anything serious.

any kind of shape other than round. And he was explaining to the other dude that also wasn't in shape next to him. Across the aisle, loud enough for me to hear it two rows up about how he knows how to kill a man 19 different ways and slit him from stem to stern. And stem... Yeah, he's a boat. He's a boat. Just don't pay attention to it. And then the other guy would be like, I have a 9mm. It identifies as a puncher. I was like...

What's funny is that stuff like that is hilarious to people who aren't in our industry. People that haven't seen the meme 8,000 times. I remember being like,

and thinking those bumper stickers like I got a 45 because they don't make a 46 like first of all motherfucker yes they do second of all that is Jesus Christ I like autism Brandon comes first off that's factually incorrect suck it hey it's my autism oh yeah okay the bar on the last night oh no that was just amazing oh dude Hunter cuts it up

Brandon played the the dune sardic art yet, but the DJ so it so you know the hamburger cheeseburger like The Mongolian throat singing Brandon played that for me Thank you cuz yeah cuz last time when we were in Salt Lake we did we told this story the podcast But you paid a DJ like absurd about like a thousand dollars or some shit to play fucking started her and start a car chant how I know drunk my friends are they'll do it for $10

My walkover was like, I had to pay. You didn't have to. I didn't pull a Cody necessarily, but I definitely overpaid. But the dude started mixing it up too, the DJ. He was awesome. Oh, yeah. We had the starter car chant going. He's like, hamburger, cheeseburger. He did the limp biscuit. It was hilarious. Oh, yeah. Legitimately. He was awesome. But yeah, we had Meat Canyon out there. And Meat Canyon, he was just all night. He was just like.

Dude, he was dancing his ass off. It was impressive. Dude, homeboy loves to cut up that dance floor. You got out there like he's just out there like I was like, oh, Hunter fucking dance. He's one of the few guys I've ever seen. It's like I just want to dance.

Fuck these bitches. I need to get away. I want to hang out with my boys because there were no females out there. So this was a dive bar across the street from the venue that we sold out at one in the morning. Even worse, it was a dive bar right next to a sold out on sub venue. There were no women inside.

Oh my God. And then Hunter just stormed out. I had to go chase him down and follow him, make sure everything was okay. Just get us all good on the show. Yeah, and all of us got him. I was like, I got it. We're just concerned friends. Like, oh shit, where's he going? Me and Hunter walked like two blocks down to the gas station. I was like, Hunter, what are we doing? He's like, I had to get 200 bucks for the DJ. I told him I'd give him 200 bucks if he played Limp Bizkit. I was like, okay. Church's original recipe is back. You can never go wrong with original.

Still tastes the same like back in the day. Right now, get two pieces of chicken starting at only $2.99 or 10 pieces starting at only $10.99. Churches. All for valid and participating locations. Dude, I was texting Heather at the time and I was like, Nick and Hunter just went on an adventure. It went okay. We got it taken care of.

DJ got paid. We got to sign a baby. I mean, Reddit knows about that. His name was William. Yeah. Young Billiam. Billiam. Young Billiam. First time we signed a baby. For real? That was the chillest baby on the planet, though. Dude, he was... He didn't cry once. I don't know why you brought your baby to our show. Thank you, though. Yeah, thank you so much. Still kind of weird. But yes, he didn't cry one time. That was the most... Even during like a...

handling the baby holding the baby up for a sacrifice like nothing no like and standing through that entire like they were at the very end almost of the vip line yeah like that was a long time one in the morning yeah it probably took us two hours to get through the vip line at that place so like that was a long time for a baby not to flip the fuck out yeah that was fine dude we brought it up mid podcast and the parents held him up and the crowd erupted at the

That was our biggest video. That was 500 people that cheered for this baby. And he's just like,

500. 300. 500 drunk people. 500 drunk people. We broke the record for that venue. We sold their alcohol sales that night, right? I think that's what the owner said. Considering they brew alcohol there. Yeah, that's impressive. We broke the record on alcohol sale in a single night. That's this community right here. That's what we try to tell the venues. It's like, no, we should probably get a cut of the alcohol sales. Why? Because our crowd fucking delights. I know how much they're going to drink. Yeah.

We need in on this action. But it was just, fuck, just a good-ass time. Like, each so. We owe it all to young Billiam. Young Billiam. We did it for him. Our inspiration. This was to you, young Billiam. To you, young Billiam. Dude, Chris and Wes also. You can tell they're used to being on the stage. Oh, God, the magicians. Yeah. They had such good beats. I was like, oh, okay. Take your notes.

We got to ask this cum question more often. Fucking dude. Oh, crusty cheese. Dude, Wes took his fucking clothes off. Yeah. And he was the most nervous one. And he basically gets naked in the first five minutes. Oh, well, I wouldn't have pegged that one. But all right. It's fine. Dude, but like they just, those cards make me look like an idiot. What's a...

What do you call it? Something. See if you're a retarded. Retarded test. Yeah. Yeah. This cards is like, if you know this, are you smarter than a retard? Yeah. It was based off of how close they held a card. It changes the word. So when you're trying to sound out words, you're not sure. And then you hand, hold it out to the crowd and they can read it plain as day. I tried to, I tried to boop Tim Kennedy failed miserably. He wasn't buying it.

No, he just locked eyes with you. I know. Oh, yeah, we totally. And then he picked up the mic stand like he was going to hit me. I'm like, shit. For the second time that night. Yeah, we had Tim Kennedy in the audience and we just brought him up on stage. That was awesome. You tried to boob him? I didn't see it. I tried hard. He's like, here. You know who else I tried to boob? Who?

Meat Canyon. Successfully. Successfully. No! No! Great reaction to it. A lot redacted from the record. That was one of my favorite boops. He was so disappointed in himself. I can just hear G-Van's edit when it happens in real time now with the fucking GTA wasted shit. I know, as G-Van watches us from the corner. I know, G-Van's here, we got a boy. And Jake, the lawyer.

And oh, hey, also, thank you for all the like you guys sold out of all our merch. Oh, yeah, that's fucking crazy. Thanks, guys. And that's sure no one else will see what you're unless you went to the live show. Yeah, dude. Like everyone's in town this weekend because we got the range day coming up soon.

Oh, God, yeah. Our editor is watching us just hating himself right now. Well, nobody said **** yet, so that's... Now he has to bleep with a black bar. Put Tony's face over it. Just put Tony's face over it. Every time it cuts to that, oh, God, Jesus Christ. No.

The AI will see the word really clear. Okay, flagging this was like, no. Yeah, no, no, definitely don't do that. You still have to bleep it, but... Also, we got one of the best bits, which is when you ask the audience to scream. Oh, God, I had... There is a video of 500 motherfuckers in Houston. Because we were doing shout-outs to friends, family, different stuff like that. It was kind of cool, just a little bit of like,

audience participation, just being really cool for our loved ones and stuff like that. But at the very end, we did three in a row, all different ones from us, and I'm like, I bet I can get 500 of these motherfuckers to say, fuck Tony. And sure as shit, super loud. It was electric. And 500 people is deafening.

Yes. Because I was like, all right, say hello, Heather. And yeah. And then Caleb's like, say hello, stupid bitch. Yeah. He's like, say fuck Tony. They did. Yeah, that happened.

Yeah, that's funny. Well, it's funny because everybody kind of in our audience knows what I'm doing right now. So that's... Everybody was kind of in on the joke. They understood. They understood the assignment. It was definitely our audience at each one of those things. Have you done live stuff before, Eli? Other than that one thing we did at the...

veteran awareness that's yeah that's your first live anything no shit the sewer slide panel yeah sewer slide plan it was the first one and that was number that was my first one dude really yeah oh wow well my sewer slide was your first yeah yeah i've never done public speaking things i've done dog and ponies for like the police department before but i've never done like speaking events

I want to say something, but we'd have to cut it. I was going to say you're a, you're four for five for saying your life. That's technically very true. I don't know. You're like you fucking asshole. And one of them's an unsub episode, not a veteran. Yeah.

Guess which one he didn't say that. Oh, the veterans are wrong. You would be wrong. What is it? The VeggieTales. Oh, you'd think so, wouldn't you? I think we can keep that. That's all right, right? Just bleep it out. They'll know what I said. They can find out. It's still there. Oh, man. No, I dropped an F-bomb. I dropped an R-bomb.

It's okay, though. It's okay, guys. Do you see how if you're not a sensitive little fucking pussy, you can say words and it doesn't offend people? Yeah.

Certain words. Certain. I think context matters, too. That's my thing. Context matters. Yeah, context really matters. There's a difference between joking around with friends and, you know, a literal hate crime. Yeah, dude. Like, if you fucking live in, like, if you live in fucking London, yes. What? I don't know what that means. Oh, he's talking about cigarettes. Oh. Yeah.

I got, I got coyotes. I got you. Dude, even one of my favorite ones is just the Ching Lee. And you're like, well, I can't say his actual C name. He went by white man. Brandon's like, well, would you say that you not saying that word is kind of the chink in your armor? And then what did you say? You, you said, it's like, you know,

I thought I said that. That was a different show that I said that. Oh, yeah. I stole his line on the fourth show because I was in such a great show. We went hard on the live shows. It was fun. The community just had a blast. The only time they didn't, it was the waitstaff in Austin. Probably not our biggest fans when we were done. Yeah, they were weird fans.

Weird, and I don't like them or their city, so whatever. Yeah, fuck that, dude. You remember walking in the back door and it just smelled like piss the whole time? It was fucking... I fucking hate Austin, dude. It was the only place that had homeless people outside the venue. It felt like the fucking scene from Black Hawk Down.

Yeah. Oh, my God. The crowds of people down the alleys were just coming toward us when we were done. We were driving down in Humvee. Brandon was fucking on the M2 blasting homeless people. I keep getting asked, when are you moving to Texas? I was like, I was...

Was considering it and then I went to Austin and now I'm considering it significantly less understandable. Have a nice day You fucking you got to visit Los Angeles, Texas there for a minute and then Atlanta, Texas I went 12 years without seeing a homeless guy's dick. It took me seven minutes in Austin. I'm not shitting you seven minutes. I

And then the venues like manager comes out. Cause I'm drinking a vodka red bowl as I'm trying to like, I mean, cause you mean you went out, we were like trying to shake hands and say hi to everybody before the show, as they're standing outside in line. We're just trying to like be friendly and make sure everybody gets to, you know, whatever, be cool. And this guy comes out like, you can't, you can't have your drinks outside here. It's like, dude,

There's literally a homeless guy giving another homeless guy a hand job right there across the street. I feel like I can have a vodka Red Bull outside. It's fine. There are people smoking pot and fucking shooting up in the alley. Yeah. Everywhere around. It's like this is not the issue. Yeah. Yeah. I just had a beer and they're like, no, can't go outside. Like, sorry, we sold out your fucking venue. I looked across the street and I was like, I did a shooting breakdown right there. A guy got shot 36 times.

God, that is insane. Out of all fucking four venues. The worst part was Cody was like, yeah, it was last weekend. I was like, jeez. I don't have a gun on me because I flew here. Yeah, that was like two weeks ago. Four venues. Austin, the only one that had that. Yeah. Well, it's weird because it was 6th Street. And like 6th Street is the party street there in Austin. It's...

It's a shithole. Which made it so much worse because like we got out and I was like, are we like in the really bad part of Austin? Because it looked like we're in the really like there were tents up. There were people sleeping on the street. There were people doing drugs. Main street. That's kind of like the party street. No, this is a main party street. I was like, oh, this is not good. Yeah, this is like if you know Nashville or something, it's Broadway Street, like the Vegas Strip. Like that's where everybody goes to fucking hang out and drink.

And yeah, I've been to a lot of big cities since like doing the whole YouTube thing. Austin, by far the worst. Yeah, not even close. Wait till you visit L.A. Like, oh, L.A. is dude. That was I won't go. I've turned down TV networks because they wanted me to go film in California. I'm not going to just like Hunter Street, bro.

Bruh. Not going. It just smells like hobo urine the second you open that door. And was it like the other week or two weeks ago you had somebody like running with a gun into another...

An armed robbery in California with the gun laws they have? Did you just say casual? They committed an armed robbery on our street. It's in a vlog on our website. Man, that's crazy. They all moved to fucking Austin. And I'm doing shooting breakdowns at the venue across the street where Duke got shot 36 times two weeks ago. You know...

$3? Yeah, we looked over. Those two homeless guys are giving HJs. Jake looks over and waves. Oh, that one homeless guy is giving. Our homeless attorney. Yeah, we had a fucking... He wasn't homeless before he started being unsubs attorney. But now he has a real job. And you're swamped.

Eli, wake up. Huh? I know that the GhostBed pillow is super comfortable and has cooling technology, but we're shooting an ad right now. You mean this GhostBed pillow? That one. Cooling technology? Cooling technology. It's hot in Texas, but that's cool. Eli.

I know you're cooler than the backside of a pillow, but with GhostBed, you don't have to turn the pillow over. It has cooling technology. Every mattress has a 20-year warranty. Some even have 25. And you can try it out for 101 nights. If you don't like it, you can send it back. No hard feelings. No hard feelings. I have hard feelings for GhostBed. I have a hard feeling for you. I'm really hard. The pillows have cooling technology. And so do the mattresses. The mattresses do too!

Hey, Cody, did you know GhostBed also offers bundles? Bundles? You get everything you need. Just choose from your four mattresses and pick your bundle. So whether you need a mattress and a frame or you just want to choose it all, like their cooling pillows and sheets, you can get the best bang for your buck. Right now, GhostBed is offering 50% off

off everything if you use the code unsubscribe click the link in the description or go to ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe that's right ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get 50% off right now and now we're about to go into range day without these breaks we are literally yesterday was our travel day back home this is Monday

And then we already did two podcasts today. Another podcast tomorrow, which we're actually looking forward to. I'm so excited about that one. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yeah. Super fucking super stoked for that one. And then range day on the 28th, which that's your guys' fucking cup of tea. Because we staggered this poorly as far as mental health breaks. Yeah, it's fine.

Yeah, we went right into this shit, dude. Fuck me. We'll make it. Four live shows in like a week. And now we're going right into range day. Four live shows, three podcasts into range day. On top of all the political events I have to do, which I believe is 29 next month. 29 in what, 20 days? Yeah. But we support mental health, guys. Yeah.

For thee and not for me. Not ours. We push ourself to the limit. No, seriously, as much as we bitch about it, dude, it's the best job I ever had. Best job I ever had.

Which hopefully that shirt's out by. That's really a shirt? Yeah. We're doing that? It's that in full spectrum. Full metal spectrum. Oh, yeah. I remade the full metal jacket cover art except the helmet says born to math and it's got a puzzle piece instead of a peace sign. I think I saw that. It's got a train and some crayons and the headband. Instead of bullets. Instead of bullets and a playing card.

I'm so excited for that. What do you mean by that, soldier? Well, I'm autistic, sir. Duality of man, sir.

The duality of the spectrum, sir. How many people we got going to the range day? Good 200 this time. 200 guests. Yeah. Not including the vendors and the TACP dudes and everything. Yeah. The RSOs. Everyone knows this time don't bring like 80 people. Yeah. No, no, no. We made it pretty. Yeah. We made it pretty out there that you shouldn't bring fucking your entire crew of 10 people. But shout out to Time for Pie.

Because Jared Taylor, he brings out a bunch of TACP guys to be our range safety officers. So check out time for pie. Super helpful. Really helpful. Really helpful. That's why last range day, even though we had so many people out there, so many vendors, like literally dozens of full autos, crazy belt fed shit, Barrett's, nobody felt unsafe. No. Because those TACP dudes had it in line. Yeah, there's a bunch of SOF dudes sitting behind everyone.

And that was, that was fucking awesome. Also your crew though is out there just as much helping them because you're, your guys are nuts because it's like, there's all these exotic machine guns spanning from world war one to like, I'm pretty sure 30 years in the future. And you can just walk and be like,

been around guns for a long time. I have no idea how to function this properly. Like no problem. And they'd like, there's never once have I ever been able to throw any of them off. They know exactly how to do it with their eyes closed. Well, they built half of them. That's fair. They're autistic. They,

They got it. They're definitely Spurgey. They got it. I love your boys. They're just the most Spurgey dudes. Those are the dudes you want. Like I've said it before, like on the Nerd Roddick podcast, like, you know, you want those dudes that that is their fucking tism. They're going to do it right every fucking time. And if they don't, there's no such thing as good enough. They're going to fucking do it right. We all have plans in life. Maybe to take a cross-country road trip or simply get through this workout without any back pain.

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I would hire it. Fucking if, even if you couldn't speak, they're like, well, I'm a nonverbal autistic dude, but I'm really good at fucking VFX and sound design. I'm like, dope. I don't need you to speak. Show me what you can do, bro. He'd be like,

Here's an alien wearer and a speaking spell. Let's go. But he can only speak on action sketch really slowly. All right, we're going to have to streamline this, but we're going to build a pipeline for this, bro. We got to make it work.

Jesus. Bro, I just want to say shout out to my son, too, for the last range day. He was out there teaching grown men how to handle machine guns. Which was really cool. Proud dad moment there.

Your kid cracks me up. He's like, first off, it's fucking brass to grass, you dumbass. John's just smoking. He's looking like a 40-year-old man, like, all right, well, here's how you load a dipshit. John slaps a grown man, and he's like, no, no, this way. Muzzle downrange. Sorry, sir. I can't wait till he comes on the podcast.

He's almost of age. That would be a fun podcast. Four years from now, if we're still allowed to do this. How old is John? He's 14. His 21st birthday is going to be fucking dope. We've talked about we're all going to write novels.

We've talked about my seven retarded uncles. Yeah, that's going to be John's autobiography. Yeah, his tell-all book. It's going to be like my seven retarded uncles. Deep sigh. End quotation. So this is the first book that's ever been marketed by someone who wasn't the author for a decade prior. Yeah.

Oh, I forgot. You guys, you met my dad at my family. Oh, God. Your dad is awesome. Yeah. Because your dad didn't know what you, like, he's just kind of like in the blank. It's like my father also. It's like, what you doing on the Facebook, son? And then, yeah, your dad came out and just got to see the live show for the first time.

Opening that door. It's like opening the door. I'm like, ah, run out. Because the second we would walk outside, it would just be like screaming. Yeah. Fucking surreal. Felt like a Jonas brother. Yeah. I'd run out. I was like, da, da, da, da. I gave hugs. And they're like, ah. I was like, this is my dad. And they're like, ah.

And then I think I threw G-Van. I forget why I threw G-Van out there. It was like a grenade, though, because G-Van just got here and was like, oh, yeah, I can do this. I was like, G-Van, come here. He's like, what? And I opened it. I was like, this is our editor, G-Van, close to it. I just heard him screaming at the door shut. Oh, yeah, that's right. At the VIP? Yeah. That was plenty of shit. Sorry, G-Van. I was ready for anything. Your dad still threw me off. It was hilarious. Dude, he's just like this. Your dad looks like a kung fu master.

Except he was wearing like long john thermal long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up and then he had a sleeveless shirt

Harley-Davidson shirt over the top boot cut Wranglers and like biker boots and he had the braided beard a braided beard look dope Call him El wizard He either knows Kung Fu how to build a house El Gandalf the gray his staffs just a fucking two by four El Gandalf the brown

See? Oh.

Well, because before this, you're like, yeah, my dad's been doing construction his whole life. He could build anything. And I was like, I don't know. And then you see him and you're like, oh, okay, yeah. He was so nice. I was like, this guy's already fucking awesome. He was just smiling the entire time, like confused at what was going on. Yeah, and then we open up the fourth show in Dallas. Your dad in the audience, no clue what's going on. And we open up with a solid eight-minute conversation about cum. Yes, yes.

Me being like, "Who out there masturbates?" I'm like, "Yeah, I believe you." Proud dad moment. He's like, now after the show's done, he's like, "Well, son, I'm very proud of you, but I still don't know what you do." I don't understand. I really don't have any idea now. This didn't help. I think I have more questions.

Are you okay, pops? I'm going to make it. I'll survive, dad. Your family was fucking awesome. They're so supportive. That's actually the first time that we met Eli's family. Yeah. They were, dude, the next day when we were walking to the airport. I was like, oh, yeah, that's my sister. She's 54. They're like, what? Because my sister, Chas. You have good genes, my boy. Chas looks fucking...

Like they thought she was my age. Yeah. Like it was, it was like, huh? Yeah. It was like, she was like 33, 34, right? 54. 54. Yeah. Just aging very well for her. Yeah. Good job, Eli. You're going to fucking age like that too. How about this? You guys will make me not age. Yeah. I'm drinking with my boys. Pretty sure I already look older than you and I'm the second youngest one here. Yeah.

We had a good time. I'm I dude fall. We're going to 100 percent do it again. Oh, God. Yeah, that was that was fun. That was that was addictive. And you know what? Everybody who didn't come to the live show really missed out. You know, so if you have FOMO, I wouldn't fucking do it again. And we'll do an East Coast one.

South Texas. I'm just throwing it out there. Midwest has the most votes on Twitter and Instagram right now when you guys put up the poll. Yeah, but none of you, you don't have a fucking city big enough. Yeah, we do. Where? I'll take you guys to the surf ballroom in Clear Lake. It's like this. Wow, there's like 33 people in that venue? No, bro. You have to take a fucking sled dog. Surf ballroom is actually legitimately famous and like a ton of people are performing there because it's the last place that Buddy Holly performed before his plane crashed.

Oh, cool. He died 100 years ago. I swear to God, my brain auto-corrected that to Bud Dwyer. No. What, the good old Bud Dwyer nosebleed? Yeah, we talked about him. Oh, yeah, I forgot we did talk about that shit. God, we talked about a lot of stuff on the live show. Yeah, we talked about that on the live show. Because we were talking about the most fucked up shit you've seen on the internet.

It's like, yeah, that broke my chair. He was fucking Bud Dwyer doing the... Popping himself on live TV. Because I told the story about how he was basically like... Because he got caught embezzling or something like that. So he was, you know, becoming a good politician. And still back when there was... Back when there was still honor, you know, shame and things like that when you fuck up and you corrupt. But like he tried to be a good person and scheduled a press conference where only he knew he was going to punch his ticket.

But he was just moving around the words. Yeah, right. But he he called the press conference like during when kids would be in school. So he wouldn't accidentally traumatize an entire generation back when there was like two channels. Right. Only fucked up problem was it was a snow day. Kids were home that soon. Yeah. All the kids saw it. I watched it on Rotten Dotcom.

God, I forgot about that. Yeah, we had some good old talking points during the podcast. Everyone had a blast of a time. Or lack thereof. Boom! The year's 2024. Do you know what that means? A new look for you.

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the fucking back to the range day. Who's the guest you're looking forward to? Is there any new names coming out to this one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. There's a lot of UFC fighters coming out. Wait, no shit? Yeah.

dude i was wanting to get strickland out but strickland hasn't answered us but there's a lot of ufc fighters coming out because sean is like super pro gun on uh on twitter and instagram and all that shit like he's shooting all the fucking time yeah it's like i'd love to have him out you know i just i thought about this last night when i was going to bed i don't know why i was like fucking retards we missed our chance

If we turned our camera around, it'd be like everyone just scream Henry Cavill, go to unsubscribe podcast. And we just upload that. That would have made its rounds on the internet. I was like, fuck, next time. Oh, yeah, we can have him on the podcast. Oh, yeah, we always have Henry. His legs are broken. It'd be super funny. His legs are broken?

Oh. Now he won't come on the podcast. He broke his legs. Also, big shout out to everyone's like, oh, you're taller than I expected. I was like, hey, I can live without. I think it's because we meme on you for being like two inches shorter. I know. I'm like four foot ten to the lower. There's our boy. If only we could get him out. Just maybe get Henry Cavill out. We just need to have the audience spread the word.

The audience just needs... Yeah, exactly. We're still ranked in gaming. We just need to have the audience spread the word that we're the number one Warhammer 40k podcast on the planet because he's a huge Warhammer 40k nerd. And he'll come out thinking we're going to talk about that and then we're just going to get him hammered. Cody's blocking the light. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Eli's tism. Eli's lighting tism is just like unacceptable. He was about to go full accountant. No, no, no.

Just hard cast of Cody bleeding. I read the comments on Cody's vlog that he posted about going to the staccato because it showed us after we finished that podcast where me and Zach were rolling in the dining room and stuff. And the amount of people that are just like,

I can't believe the unsubscribed studios and in the middle of a dining room. Oh, 100%? Oh yeah. I thought it was like a professional studio. No, it's just a dining room. This is actually a dining room table. Adapt, improvise, overcome. Come. Yeah, come. Adapt, improvise, come. We have a kitchen right there. We have a living room right there. Which is convenient for all the booze that we drink.

It's really dope, actually. It's how you set up a proper studio. Yeah, well, I mean, it's fucking the best thing that we could have done because anytime our guests stay here, it's a three-bedroom house. We just put people up in the bedrooms and...

It's easy. Don't have to buy people hotels or anything. Save money in the long run. Save a lot of money in the long run. Like in the long run. You're like, hey, right now we have some boys living with. I talked to the neighbor. He said he might be interested in coming on. Yes. Yeah. Can we say his name? Hello. I don't know why we couldn't. Yeah, Sammy. We can say Sammy. Sammy. The Vietnam veteran next door. He's the old 101st Vietnam veteran and living next door to a podcast house.

Yeah, I think we talked about it before, though. He thought we were all just drug dealers. Yeah. It's like there's so many. He's like, there's so many. They pull up once a month in nice cars. Like really expensive cars. Fuck. There's cameras all over the house. There's cameras everywhere. There's a lot of packages getting delivered. For a solid two months, we were very questionable.

It's completely understandable on his part, to be honest. But he loves us now. Oh, now he does. We go over, we talk to him. Bring him booze and wine. He's like, wait, you're all veterans? Oh, okay. Okay. You guys are just good at what you do. Fantastic humans. Which UFC fighters are coming out? We couldn't get Strickland, but. Couldn't get Strickland. We're getting a couple out there.

I don't want to say names right now because we don't know exactly if they're coming. It's just like when you talk to a content creator, it's like, hey, are you coming out? It's like 50-50 if they ever actually fucking show up. I'm going to try, though, bro. I'll see you tomorrow, buddy.

It doesn't show up. That's like me going to dinner sometimes. It's like the running joke is fucking Eli time. Yep. A hundred percent. It's like, Hey, I'll be at this restaurant at this hour. It's like, Eli says, yeah, I'm coming. It's like, all right, we'll just schedule that an hour behind. Yeah. I'm on the way now. Just got in the car an hour and a half later. It's like, he lives eight minutes away. Yeah.

I drive the opposite way. What are you doing, you autistic fuck? I can only go clockwise around San Antonio. He stopped, there was a... And they go, oh, then they burk hot all the way down and around. Come here, it's a thing. He had to stop and wait for a train, and by wait for a train, I mean chase it, because it was cool. I'm like, holy shit.

Oh shit, I bet if I go to that intersection right now, I could probably cut it off and watch it again. Oh man, this is so fucking dope. What am I doing, boys? This is absurd. We're just living our best lives. It's a good time. When are you moving? Oh, you got a fucking new vehicle. Yeah, I got a Texas car.

What? I'm here enough. It made financial sense, believe it or not. It really, I mean, it does. The monthly payments are less than I was paying in Ubers and car rentals coming down here for a week a month. So, and it's dope and it's cool. It's really cool. It's one of the reasons I decided to just flat out move to Texas. A, the COVID shit sucked, but B, it's cool.

The just the amount of time I was spending here anyway, I was fine. There was one time I spent an entire fucking month in Texas. I was like, oh, dude, I remember when you were in that weird transition period of coming out here because you're trying to get the the shop set up.

Well, that was way later. This was like, I was just spending a fuckload of time down here, whether it was with demo ranch. Like I was always in San Antonio. Yeah, that was, but I, there was one time I had those AK build core courses in Texas. Like I literally just drove down here and lived here for a month. Like it,

And then you finally made the move. Returned to my ancestral home. Oh, I love it. I remember all the, dude, those are the such good times. I was fucking Cody moved out. You were here and just living with me for a few weeks. You and John. And then you got your place. I remember shot, like taking you around the house shop or I was just rolling with you and you were trying to find a place. Yeah. And then you moving down during the Texas storm. Yeah.

God, the big snowpocalypse. Holy shit. Now we need a story from you moving here. Texas drivers are wild. Aggressive. Everything's bigger in Texas, especially your guys' inability to drive in inclement weather. Jesus Christ. It rained yesterday, and the amount of people that didn't know how to drive their car in rain blew my mind. It's incredible. Fucking J-Wolf. That's the same thing that he said when we were coming over here.

He's like, yeah, everyone had their flashers on and it was just barely raining. That is my number one pet peeve. When people put their fucking hazards on when it's raining, it's like, I'm aware of that, Becky. Yeah.

What are you telling me? I've literally never even seen that before. Really? I've never seen anybody turn their flashers on for fucking rain in my entire life. No, that's a thing. That's definitely a thing here in Texas. Oh, shit. Fucking wild to me. It's a mild storm. I'm going to get in the far left lane and go 20 on with the hazards on. We all know the left lane is for crime.

I live in a desert. I'm only used to it being between 65 and 75. Dude, that's the only time I get fucking rages. If people in the left lane going fucking the speed limit is the only time I rage. You will see like asshole. I'm like... Have you seen my new shirt? No. God, I'm getting pissed off just thinking about people in the left lane. It's coming out on Bunker Branding soon. Fucking God. Yes. Yes.

The left lane is for crime. Okay. There's fucking signs here in Texas to say the left lane is for passing only. I will pass people. And I make, I like when I, when you make me go like this around you, I'm going to go like this and point at you and flip you off and then go around and get right in front of you. And then point at the sign that says, this is a fucking only for passing only for passing.

for passing it doesn't matter if you're going the speed limit in the left lane the left lane is for fucking as fast as you want to go and it's your own responsibility if you get pulled over that's you that's on you but if people want to drive faster get the fuck out of the goddamn way

My thing, I won't just do the stare down thing. My thing is to guess what they look like by how they drive. Right off the bat, I'm like, that has to be a fucking 72-year-old white man. Or it's a fat white woman. We chose the safe ones.

They both wanted to say Asian yellow driver. Did you see that? Oh, that's right. And if that was it, and if that cheeseburger was Jewish, no, no, it was, I think it was. No, but he, the, the, it was a fucking deal. Vaughn was talking about like in San Francisco. He's like, I'm just going to say, you know, San Francisco is the highest population of Asian Americans in the country or something like that. And he's like,

It's also the first city in the country to have self-driving vehicles. So I'm just going to let you put together why those two things are hilarious. Speaking of road shit, what was up with the fucking car in Houston? Remember that we were driving behind? It was fucking one. It took us a minute to figure out what it even was. Oh, I was like, because you're like, did you see that? I was like, I was asking the same question. I have it on camera.

I'll get it off on Instagram. Yeah. Oh, I will also send it to you. The one that had like cake mixers out the side of the road. Fucking it was. Pimp. Pimp. Pimp.

purple for Minnesota Vikings, metallic purple, the entire car. And it had the back tire on it with spoked rims. Like it was like a Malibu, like a 1970s Cadillac. And then it had fucking hubcap extenders that stuck out at least 18 inches, probably two feet on both sides. It could barely fit in the lane. Hold on. But guess what? Amazing. Like vehicle, expensive car. This was,

It took me a second, but because I'm from the Midwest, I recognized it by the taillights. What was it? It was an early 2000s grand dam with $30,000 worth of work done to it. It was fucking hilarious. Bro, Jay, like, actually, can we get a real reaction? You got the video? Yes, I have. Come here, Jay. Fuck, it's upstairs. It's on my camera. I'm sorry. I don't have it. Fuck. Because it is fucking awesome.

Like this. Dude, Jake, it was like when they were driving in front of us. This car was nine feet wide. It was insane. He was going to the airport. I wish we could have got pimply duties to do, I guess.

I don't know. I just want to... Oh, yeah. You were going to say crime. Oh, no. I was going to just say hate crime. Stop floating. I wish we could have just ran him off the road and fucking killed him for having that car. The commentary in the bus that we were on was hilarious. Bro, we were terrorizing. Oh, my God. We're in twisted metal. We were terrorizing every fucking driver we had. They got tipped well.

They had to ride along with us. You're basically, well, you're riding in a fucking comedy group. Oh, no. We got shit-faced in Austin, and then we had the long drive home, and I woke up, and we were at Bucky's. Where's my necklace I bought? Over there. The super drunk. Right there. I forgot. Bring that over here. We're in Bucky's. I bought this. It was very drunk. Trade the rosary.

I forgot about that. We're screaming at Jake. Oh, my God. Jake, our lawyer, is so mad. This episode, he's going to go, Bob, we're doing really good. There's two options on this one. Our attorney has advised us that we made fun of him the whole way. Did you?

Well, because we were just like, Jake had the aux cords. We were just like, hey, Jake, play Zach Bryan. You're like, no, Zach Bryan's fucking gay. Like, so we just kept fucking, like, we just kept coming up with new song titles. Hey, Jake, play Fuck Me and My Gay Ass by Zach Bryan.

Hey Jake, two dudes 69ing by Zach Bryan. Jake by the end was like, so not any of these songs, guys. And then I think we made the mistake of poking at Dolly Parton, which is apparently a very sensitive subject. We stepped on sacred territory. Dude, he was just like, Jake's just huffing. I apologized the next day. I texted Jake, I'm like, I'm sorry for the things I said to you in the name of Zach Bryan.

God. Jake got bullied? He's like, this is how it happens. This is high school. And you get four dudes just drunk. And we're just like, let's bully our lawyer. The one fucking person we shouldn't bully. It's like, Jake, could you please play Come and Each Other's Foreskin by Jack? It's so pistol.

You went out and smoked. Like one of the most wholesome people I know. Now that it's all coming back to me, we were kind of assholes to everybody we ran into. We love you, Jay. I remember walking into the... It's like 11 when we got to the hotel. In Dallas, we got to the hotel and we checked in. When's the bar open? Four, but we're alcoholics now. I don't know.

Guys, we had a rough week. Definitely should go to any of the live shows. Oh, no. We turn into, like, just fucking degenerates.

Party bus, awesome idea by Cody. He was like, we can get a party bus. They'll drive us there and back, and we can drink on it. Terrible idea. It is such a weird juxtaposition of my life, though, right now. Because earlier that day, I had meetings in the capital in Austin, like the capital of Texas.

Did you were taking like important political calls right before? Oh God, in Dallas. Yeah, I had to like, sorry, this is a member of Congress. I've got to run real quick. I had to sprint out of the green room and take like a very intense 15 minute conversation and then come back into a conversation about cum. Like it was, this is the double life is getting fucking weird.

We're in a good party. Buddy, we are living the dream. God forbid a normal fucking person gets elected. Oh, fuck. Connor, do you know what the best thing I love bringing with me? What?

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Some of my favorite features are the noise isolation. I love the awareness mode because when you're built like me, walking home at night can be dangerous. Also the earbud tap function. On a real note, I actually do use Raycons every day. They sound amazing. They fit comfortably. They never fall out. The audio quality is amazing. I listen to music. I love music and I love Raycons. Head over to buyraycon.com slash unsub to get 20% off of your order today. 20% off.

and free shipping. Yeah, now we got just this, a range day, and then rest and relaxation for fucking... For you. 45 seconds. We got a podcast tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why I said range day and then the last one Friday and then a fucking podcast Friday with we're doing podcast tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Old man. Old man gaming. Grandpa gaming. Can we talk about that? Yeah. Grandpa gaming, dude. I'm super pumped for it. Have you guys seen him? Grandpa gaming. Yeah. Yeah.

Grandpa gaming is he just sniping motherfuckers in battlefield like it's nothing. He's like, yeah, this is where you should put your reticle up right here. And he's just destroying people. He's just deleting Chinese kids. And laughing the entire time hysterically. So basically what he used to do in Battlefield, the video game. Yeah.

We'll emphasize that part. In a video game, he's deleting Chinese kids. Is he a veteran? Yeah, he's a veteran. He's a retired diver. Yeah. And marksman. So he was a squad, because we talked, he was a squad marksman. That dude's comment section is so funny. Oh, God. It's like, this man doesn't have PTSD. He's got nostalgia. That's a shirt.

It's not PTSD. It's nostalgia. Oh, my God. With just a reticle. Okay, that's a shirt, too. That is the funniest shit I've heard all day. Fucking write that down in your little book of dollars. Jesus Christ. Dude, I'm so excited for him. He is... His text, I sent it to the group because his first text to us was just as simple as, like, here it is. Oh.

I said, Gramps. Hello, sir. After this flight, we'll ring you back. Truly appreciate you reaching out. The guys are so excited to chat with you. His first response. Great. I would like to take my rifle. Also, if the airlines won't because we invited him down was like love to come down to San Antonio. He's like, also, if the airlines won't let me do it, then I'll drive down in my pickup. And then you just send a picture of his rifle.

Yeah, which, what the shit is that? Dude, homeboy is ready to shoot some rounds. I would like to bring this if possible. I'm like, oh, he's going to get along. We don't have any long ranges to justify that thing, but go ahead. No, he's, dude, is. And you definitely don't want to shoot steel at 100 yards of that fucking thing, whatever that is. That's like 308 minimum.

But he was a dude. His content, he blew up. I didn't realize how fast he exploded. Especially a million on Instagram, which Instagram's very hard to climb on. And he broke a million really quickly. You gotta be doing like viral reels for that. Which he does. Like, that's why I've seen his stuff. You just see that old man, he's like, he's fucking deleting kids. Clicking foreheads. I'm like, super excited for that one. I think he'll really...

It'll be interesting because he's very much an old man when he talks. It's like that slow cadence, just excited about life in general. That's what I'm hoping for. I was like, do you cuss? He's like, well, my streams are...

I'll keep my streams PG because I have a very large audience that is young. But if it's not there, I swear like a sailor. I was like, brother, you're going to get along great. I don't know what it is about my content. I've always been like blown away by the amount of older people that like my videos. I was at I was at the store the other day. It's just like store in Iowa called batteries and bulbs where they sell batteries.

batteries and bulbs and Wow I had to get like this is a fucking SVU they do like key cutting and car fobs and shit and I was getting a spare key and night Shyamalan twist

And I'm like waiting in line and there's this old, old guy. I could just tell he's a veteran. I was like, are you the military? He's like, yeah. Like doing what? He's like, I was a cab scout in the Korean war. Oh, that's dope. I had just done my Sergeant reckless video. So I, I knew all kinds of shit about the Korean war. And he's like, yeah, I was in fuck. I can't remember the name off the top of my head. It's like, uh,

Poonjang or tone Jang. It was like literally the village on the fucking demilitarized zone line that got turned from a normal city into like the peace village where it's just where the North and South governments and militaries meet to like exchange prisoners and shit. And I explained that to him and he's like, Oh, I had no idea. It was just a normal like village when I was there. And I told him the story about Sergeant reckless. And then like, I was time for me to go. Like I got my shit done. And he's like, Oh,

Well, write down your name so I can find your videos on the internet. And I was like, just fair warning. Like, I swear a lot. I make a lot of inappropriate jokes. He's like, son, I've killed 13 people. I don't give a fuck. I was like, Jesus Christ. Son, I've killed 13. I was like, when you start with son, my dad is not joking. All right, my bad. Our boy knew the number, too. God damn. Son, I've killed 13. I was like, what?

Okay. I know how to kill a man. I know you have never killed a single individual. Son, I've killed 13 men. That's how you know. You know how you know he's never killed a person? He's talking about it on a fucking Southwest flight. Across the Nile.

It made my whole day. It was awesome. Yeah, I don't curse, but I've just slaughtered a lot of men. Side note, fucking dope ass shirt, Brandon. Oh, yeah. That's my new shirt I haven't pushed at all. Now we're pushing it now. The CIA Outstanding Journalism Award. It's beautiful. If you know anything about their history. Yeah.

The government. Also, what the fuck? You can trust them. This looks like it was made. I swear to God, I thought you were going for a boop. No, I was just like looking at all this shit. I'm like, dear God, it's actually like old-ish. It looks weathered. Dude, yes. He can hear you. Feel it. These look like cocoa pebbles. Is that the... Brandon's hungry.

I just remember coming downstairs the next morning. You paid $40 for this? That's Bucky's prices, baby. Dude, Bucky's. I was drunk, and it's now a tax write-off, even though it's not on my couch. Why are you sniffling it, dude? Dude, my entire comment section. It smells sweet. Now my fan base smells like a mixed necklace. It smells like a Cocoa Pebble. Yeah.

Holy shit, that does smell sweet. It smells like the Bucky Nuggets. I feel like he's a gaslighting man trying to eat it. You guys are gaslighting me into trying to eat rocks right now. No, it's not. Smell it, Nick. No. Dude, smell your fucking thing. No, have you not smelled it? I smelled it. Okay.

I don't like how you said that. Oh, I've smelled it. No, my whole fan base after I did that tax video where I explained the couch in the background isn't my casting couch. It's my tax write-off couch. And now, like, my new ad for the Ching Lee video that came out today was Delete Me. And Hannah walks in and says, this video is brought to you by Delete Me. And Hannah walks in with an MP5 and goes, I thought you'd never ask. And does the MP5 slap.

And now, and then when I walk back in, I act like, you know, we go have sex and then I get the MP5. I set it on the couch as I walk back in and it's in the background for the rest of the video. And everybody's like, my boy just turned an MP5 into a tax ride. No, no, no. Yes. Well, what's funny is that you can buy it intending to put it in a video and not.

Yep. And it just means you're bad at your job, but it's still right off. Trust me. I buy a lot of fucking guns that I just haven't done videos on yet, but there will be in videos. They will be. Yeah. And plus they're in the background of shit. Like, you know, they'll either be on my gun wall in the back as a prop or like we'll be doing shop tours and they're everywhere. But like there are like, seriously, there've got to be at least 20 guns that I bought that I just, I want to do a video on eventually, but I just haven't done it yet. So get around to it. There's one you'll, you actually, I'd love to have you on this one. Yeah. Um,

It's a I think it's a model night. Don't quote me on this. It's like a FN or a FN or Browning model 1910.

And I want to call it the gun that started World War I because that was the gun that was used to assassinate. No, what's March 2? Franz Ferdinand. Franz Ferdinand. God, see, my friends are smart. They know the name. I just know the event. No idea the names. Because I know you could go into the end. Literally, yeah. I know you could go into the entire history of that for the video and everything. Yeah, I could do that. The botched assassination that happened before that. I'd have to read up on it, but just the starting of World War I is insane. Yeah.

That was a lot of fucking dominoes. That's a lot of people having their homies' backs for really not great reasons.

It's literally like, that's how most of our bar fights start. Hey, literally the international equivalent of a bar fight. Yeah, pretty much. Hey, that's my friend. Just don't. That's my friend. Yeah, literally. And then 400 million young men. Yeah. Millions of deaths later. It was like, Oh fuck. Yeah. Nevermind. 10 mil. Because that was trench warfare. That was like, Hey, you're not fine. I'm going to shoot you in the back of the head. And the Spanish flu at the same time.

You know what makes trench war less fun? Diarrhea. God, I didn't even think about that. So it's true. That's the worst part. Yeah. Like that's fucking horrifying. Can I tell you guys? 20, 20 million deaths. I love Brandon.

We know. He bought me a trench shotgun. Oh, yeah. Wait, what? You can slam fire it. Yeah, you actually, you can. You totally can. Didn't NATO try to say that's not a real thing? Brandon's like, yeah, you totally can. Oh, yeah? Germany tried to have shotguns outlawed as a war crime because they were mad at the Marine Corps. That's an actual thing. No, that's a real thing, yeah. They tried to have it declared a war crime, and then they were, like, talking shit, like, oh, yeah, well...

Using a shotgun and not having to aim at fucking point blank range isn't gentlemanly. And it's because you guys aren't good riflemen. And the Marines were like, dope. Well, I love it's like you still allow artillery and mortars. So fuck off. Yeah. You motherfuckers are the ones using mustard gas. And you're mad at me because I have a gas mask and a fucking shotgun. Get the fuck out of here. That was that first Marine that was like, pow. He held it down. He's like.

Shit. When I did the... Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys, come here. Look at this shit. You just do this. Do that again? Yeah. That's a joke I made in the Trench Sweeper video. It was like, the United States military gave a gun to the Marine Corps whose only limiting factor in how much destruction it can dispense is how quick the Marines can do this. Yeah.

What's the joke? It's like an eight, an 18 year old boy from Wisconsin. Like, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

The bayonet that came with the thing is a fucking sword. It's like this long. It's enough to go completely through a normal-sized human. Because that's also like in the weird transitionary phase between like you think of like a Vietnam bayonet, right? You think about like a K-bar kind of shit. Or a knife, yeah. But like right before that was the fucking two-foot Civil War tri-blade shit. Spears. You're in like the transitionary phase where it's flat, but it's still, you know,

I could scratch Eli's forehead from here. Yeah, you could scratch the back of my noggin from there. From the inside. Oh, fuck. Shout out to... What's his name? Knives.

Oh, the microtech guy. I know his name. I don't know if you want me to say his actual name on the podcast. Probably not. Shout out to... We had a gentleman that's going to be called the biggest collector of microtech knives in the country is what he told me. And he showed up and he's like, I hand selected a different microtech knife for all of you guys. And he gave each of us a microtech ultra tech knife.

So I have the, I think this one's called the warmonger, the war hound blade. Cody has the donut limited edition, ultra tech. Brandon truly. I am bro. Yours is a new one. I hadn't even seen it before. He said it was a brand new knife blade shape that just came out. It was dope as shit. Yeah, no, I, uh, I,

It has like a bottle opener on the back, like a curve for a bottle opener. Yeah. And it was kind of neat. It was like, was it double edged on half the backside? I think so. I'd have to check again. I took it home and then my girl immediately stole it. So she's like, wow, I always wanted a knife like this with the assisted opening. I'm like, me too. It's yours now. These are dope. Dude, yeah. Giant shout out to him. Yeah. Thanks, buddy. You got...

I got the twin flames because he was like, this is for Sav and you. That's cool. And it was two of them with that heart thing. It was like a heart-shaped throwing star is what I thought it was. Well, it has a literally cut-out metal heart that you can take out and has like the description of the blades. It's like the twin flames, two knives indicating love, serial number, blah, and then two black knives with red laser-engraved hearts throughout it.

And then like that one, they're fucking bad ass. I was like, babe, those are very sharp. Like Microtech is extremely fucking sharp. Yeah, their social media team. I don't want to talk about them. Oh, yeah. The donut knife. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what? I don't know about that. You don't know the story? No. Can we do we skip it? I mean, we can probably talk about it. We can talk about it. Does that guy work at Microtech?

Uh, he's like really good friends with all of them. And also the, uh, the gentleman that designs blades for microtech. Well, he's coming. The microtech guy is coming to range day. Oh, fuck. Yeah. So he's coming. He was going to invite, um, Sebastian Bork, Borka, who is a guy who is, who is good friends with Brandon.

What? Wait, you know Gorka? No, no, no, no, no. He's friends with Sebastian Gorka, who was like the speaker. Yeah, no, different guy. Balashnikov, Kalashnikov. Yeah, Balashnikov, Kalashnikov. No, but he designs all the blades for Mike. Not all of them. It's Marfione and him that designed blades for Microtech. So that guy was going to come out too, but he was busy, so he couldn't, but.

Yeah, but... Shout out to you for fucking those dope ass bites. We won't shit on Microtech. No. Okay. If he's coming out, he's friends with us. Cody's just mad that he couldn't find a donut, cerakoted one immediately when he wanted one. No, I tried to buy it from them. I didn't ask for it for free. I was just like, hey guys, could I buy this knife from you? I'll pay full retail price. Could I buy it? And they're like, no, we don't do that. I was like, ah, god damn it, dude. But it's a donut. It's a fucking literal donut knife.

I will buy it. Then they sent a picture of them just doing this. I wouldn't even be mad that I'm like, damn, that social media is baller and shit. Finding that knife consumed you for like 48 hours. Yeah, you helped me out with it. I had to track one down on like a second party like scalper website to get it to him. And I think you paid like literally double the retail price to get one. Yeah, I paid double for that motherfucker. Yeah.

And then you gave it to just... Yeah, so after... We can cut that out if you don't want. You tell us. No, that's fine. No, after our first podcast we did here in San Antonio, I was in the bathroom and the kid that was cleaning the bathroom... I say kid. He was of legal age to own this knife. Yeah, 12. He was like, hey, man, I saw that you were... Dude, he was only 11. It's fine. It's fine.

But no, he was the nicest dude ever. I come in. He was like, dude, I saw that you were nervous. And but you guys killed this show. This was awesome. And he's in there cleaning the bathroom. And I felt bad because he was he fucking he was already spraying down the toilet. So I took a piss like. But he was like, this is awesome, man. And I was like, all right, this this awesome dude gave me this knife. Would you like mine? Because it was it was the same one. It was the same the same microtech.

And so I gave him my fucking $600 knife. I'm playing the fucking... In my head, I'm just doing... I'm building a commercial. It's the NFL commercial where it's like that little four-year-old. Me and Joe Green. And Donald looks back and it's a four-year-old. Gives him a throw. He's like, hey, kid. You open the blade and toss it to him. Sticks right through the head. Thanks, Mr. Donut Operator.

I'm not going to lie. Fucking that was bringing me back to like at one point I bought like an actual switchblade, which at the time in the state was not legal. I don't think I was like 15. And this guy like sketchy dude at like a gun show was just like, hey, kid, you know,

Do you want a pearl-handled switchblade and a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook? I'm dead fucking serious. I bought both from the same fucking guy. I'm dead. The early fucking edition, the 1970s, like fucking William whatever. Oh, yeah. Explain what the Anarchist Cookbook is. I don't think I will. Okay. You can Google it at home. Or, like, don't.

I will tell you now, all the copies that are available now, like the new ones, they've all changed the recipes. It's like, oh, it's the watered down version. Yeah, it's all like there's there's different things about like different drugs you can make different, like a lot of it's like bombs and like homemade weaponry and like black powder and shit like that. But like they've changed all the recipes since then. So like obviously if kids get a hold of it, they're not just like, you know, smoking banana peels and fucking blowing up homemade semtex in their backyard. Yeah.

Thank God. Napalm. Napalm ain't that fucking hard to be honest. That's like the free space in bingo.

I did all this shit when I was like 15, dude. Oh, yeah. Dude, all of us did. I had no interest in drugs at all when I was a kid. It was just like, it was all just like weird. Oh, you can make C4 at home in an oven with shit you can buy off of Amazon or eBay with a prepaid gift card? Oh, my God. As you showed on YouTube for your first strike. It wasn't A. It was not his first strike. B. It was gunpowder. It was black powder. It wasn't C4. I would never do that.

You can do it, though. I'll do it again. Trust me, I know. The fucking crazy store is running into one of the guys that worked at the San Antonio club was Osborne, who I deployed with.

Oh, yeah. The security guy. Dude, we never talked about that on stage. I forgot about this. Well, that was Osborne. Shout out. What's up, bud? Dude, that was a wild experiment. I haven't seen this dude. I've been out for almost two decades. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. 15 years. I've been out. Jesus. So I haven't seen Osborne in 15 years.

I walk up. He's like, hey, man, what's up? I was like, hi. We were just talking to the entire, all the staff. The staff, we'd always take care of them. And they took care of us. So it was amazing, amazing people. And he's like, hey. I was like, what's up, what's up? He's like, hey, man, what's up? Hey, long time no see. I was like, long time no see. Fucking hug, boom. And then walking back, wearing out in the green room. And he's like, Eli, you don't remember me. I was like, ah, da, da, da. Holy shit. Fucking Osborne.

You're you had that you handled the fucking cut off head and got put in the Rolling Stones magazine. He's like, hey, you remember? I was like, hey, Osborne, quick military story when this is the breadbasket. This is the military stories don't do well in this podcast. None of us. None of our viewers like fucking bomb. Oh, he's no guess. Fucking breadbasket. The terrible area. This is like the last push in Mokhtandia.

And we are on month 14 of 15 out of this deployment. God damn, 14-month deployment? 16 total. Jesus. So we're at month four. I was, not QRF, I forget what it's called when you go in first by an extra two weeks. So I was there first, so I technically did a 16-month deployment. Now, we're about to do the bread basket push. Thank fucking God for one time they're like...

Let's let the new people replacing you do this last push. Now, before that, there was a bridge that separated Mokhtar Diyah from the Brad Baskett area, which is like where all the bad guys went after we killed all the other bad guys.

They're on this bridge, those HESCO barriers, and they got the call. It's like, hey, there's a head on a HESCO barrier. You guys got to go pick it up, go police up that head. Go grab that head. So Osborne was the one they're like, and then Rolling Stones is out. Go get some head. Yeah. And this is the first time I learned how media works. I was like, oh, wow. So just to work clear, he's literally like cleaning up a site.

Is all he's doing. Yeah. He is. He's getting sent out to clean up. The post remnants of battle. Yeah. Okay. This is first. I want to say it was first platoon. First platoon. Was tasked to go to the bridge.

And then they were like, Osborne, go get that head. It was just a head on a Hesco barrier to say, don't come in here. It was like... So it was put there to make a point. Yeah, and it was like an Iraqi sergeant major or something like that. And Osborne is just like a young kid at the time. Yeah. Literally. Low guy on the totem pole. Yeah, he's an E4.

So yeah. Fucking 20 year old kid. Yeah. Maybe time magazines like, Oh, like who they're out on a mission with us. Cause it was like extra secure. And he goes, grabs a head. I think he said he dropped it. So he bent down, picked it up. It was like, like that, which I mean, fair. So he picks it up and they're like, Oh, you have to like turn towards the camera. He was like, Oh,

And they're like, no, make your face. So he's like, eh. It's just telling you. It's just telling you, kid. Like, you're like, eh? If someone says smile for the camera, you're going to be like, eh. Yeah, this is a 19, 20-year-old kid, maybe. 20?

Actively developing PTSD to some degree at this moment. Who has been in war fighting for months. And they're like, go police that hood. A year at this point. Like we've done war. So like our emotions are very done at this point. And we're not used to being around cameras. This is like one of the first times we're actually like a camera crew, especially Rolling Stones is with us. So they took some photos. We didn't know any of this.

We found out when he got demoted and the Time magazine, the Rolling Stones article came out. And then we were sent it. And Osbourne like this, holding a head. You're telling me that media and journalists don't tell the fucking truth? Wow. What? That's crazy. I'm glad we solved that problem. Bro, and it said like in the article, he got demoted. Like he got fucking torn up for this.

And it was bullshit. And all it said was like soldier laughs at plays with dead man's head or something like that. Like you can Google this. If you're a journalist, I'm glad your entire industry is dying and you deserve this because at this point you guys are nothing but shitty influencers and you're not even good at your job. Yeah. You're being replaced by us. Yeah. If you could do anything, guys out there, bully journalists. Although the guys who wrote the good articles about me, you're all right. You're all right. If you're a good journalist. Thanks.

If you're not a lying piece of shit. Fuck the Daily Beast. Bully journalists at any point you can. Bully all of them.

They're all like types of the ones I like the ones I follow on Twitter I mean, it's the only reason I started my youtube channel man. Yeah to bully journalists because you're all fucking liars And for the most part, that's the first time we say this is 2008 so I you don't have to apologize I got to watch it firsthand watch a dude get busted down and rank you went from like an e4 to an e1 if I remember Jesus like they fucking fuck me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was instant like boom bustin rank and

he's in because he was in the rolling stones and you can google it if you like it's like two just fucking soldier holds head bread basket or something like that it's going to pop up osborne phenomenal human didn't deserve that and again we've been doing war up to this point for almost 14 fucking months we were desensitized to all that shit and when you're like smile

I don't fucking know. You're not going to be like, why am I smiling? I'm holding a head. What? Rolling stone. Rolling stone. You're 20. You don't know what the fuck's going on. Some asshole with a camera is like, smile. And I haven't been doing war for 14 months. Click.

Boom. Ruined dude's career. If he stayed in, like would have fucked him over, but got his number. And thankfully I got to reconnect with that dude. He's like, dude, we need to grab a drink. Got his number. I was like, fuck yeah, dude. So that was an actual cool event. These guys got to see how surprised I was. Now I'm just mad about journalism. I just, I tried to look for it and I've just found like a bunch of different photos of decapitated heads and shit. So that's, that's not going anywhere. You got to talk for a second. Really?

But no, that shows the problem with journalism nowadays because like it has changed significantly. Oh, I mean, it's the same shit, but it's just a different era because back then they were just trying to sell magazines. They were trying to sell whatever the fuck they can nowadays. And in the age of the Internet, they're just trying to sell clicks because the clicks and the ads that are on the sides is what pays their fucking bills. So they don't care about telling the truth. They care about getting you to click on a fucking headline. Yep.

Yep. That's why I said they're nothing but shitty influencers.

Yep, yep. It's all clickbait. It's all clickbait. No substance. What are we doing, Nick? Just doing it better. If you think my fucking... If you think our, like, clickbaity-ish titles are bad, you should actually read their articles after their fucking headlines. It's the most out of context. Well, I mean, what was the recent Tony Gonzalez ad? What's your favorite state, Brandon? Oh, my God. That was fucking hilarious. Holy shit. So Tony Clips and G-Man now has to put his, you know, fucking... Sorry. Oh, God.

Oh, no. Bro. Because they were like, do that. He was like, ah. Yeah. Oh, at least he's wearing his gloves. Yeah. PSI. Because he didn't know. They were like, just like, he's like, they're like, pose with it. And they were like, smile. And you can tell by his hands, this is the most awkward force picture I've ever looked at in my entire life. And that's, I've never held a human head like that before. So I don't, I just don't think I would do it like that.

And then that's my doc, Clive Filcher. I know that's my voice. Eli Ward. Jesus. But no, talking about the new Tony attack about the California bit.

Like, that was so fucking funny. He literally clipped me because we were making a joke about how shitty California is, how much we all fucking hate California. We're like, oh, but we like the weather because objectively, like California weather is fucking great. Like the beaches and everything. Very nice. And I made a joke about how like, oh, yeah, well, California is a joke.

My favorite state in the country, if everybody who lived there didn't. And he literally clipped that two seconds. California is my favorite. I was blown away because I literally watched that episode on the plane, just kind of watching back and seeing how it landed and thinking that would be really funny if Tony fucking clipped that. There's no way. And he fucking did it. Dude, that's like the...

Literally, just like, I think everybody in my voting demographic is fucking stupid, and I'm going to take advantage of it right now, is all that was. Wait, wait, they just clipped it. Everybody in my fucking voting... Yeah, whatever. Yeah, put Brandon's face on my head right there. Dude, what fucking absolute retard do you have working for your fucking social media, dude? I can't wait till some dude writes it. I'm a huge Brandon fan, and that's why I was running his campaign into the ground on purpose. I know.

Oh, there's a new one? New Tony? New Tony just dropped. New Tony dropped? Dude, that new Tony fire just dropped. Yo, what's that fucking fire album? Read it, Brandon. East Coaster, Brandon Herrera is a little lost. What? Who fucking does this shit? Wait, on an El Paso, Fort Stockton, Eagle Pass, San Antonio...

There's a map of showing how far away all the cities are from... Oh, and the new thing that we found... I won't talk about that yet. That is the worst meme I've ever seen in my life. Oh, is that from me in the community notes? Probably. I wonder who spread that around. We can't say that. What? We probably shouldn't say that you're in the community notes. Oh, I already have. Oh, have you? Oh, I already have. I don't care. Fuck it.

I'm in the community notes, and it's my new life mission to make sure that everybody knows that his name is Ernest Anthony Gonzalez II, a.k.a. Tony Gonzalez. And he was registered to vote in the state of Florida as early as 2016. And you can go to the Florida State Registry and verify that for yourself. But apparently he's not qualified because he was registered to vote in North Carolina. Ernest goes to Washington. Ernest doesn't get to go to D.C. anymore. You have to be born here.

That's the only way politics works. God. My favorite part, though, is how he kept shitting on me. He was like...

Brandon Rivera says East coasters help build Texas. I'm like, that's objectively fucking true. Same Houston, the first and third president of Texas fucking born in Virginia. Davy Crockett born in Tennessee. The guy who fucking commanded the Alamo was a fucking East coaster. Are you fucking kidding me? Texas was founded by Texans, even though Texans didn't exist until after Texas was founded. Therefore, that's logically fucking impossible. When Captain America was born here in America, Texas,

And they just put up that flag and was like, it's American now. It's the only time that's ever happened. You're like, you fucking... God, I hate... I guess... I don't know how you deal with anything. Just watching how bad and then how... Like, they just manipulate each little thing. I'm like, this is why I don't do fucking politics in the slightest form. It's hilarious having somebody spend a million and a half dollars slandering you. This is where your fucking money went. If you donated that dude...

One bit like hundreds of thousands of dollars went to write that retarded ass tweet. You know what the funniest thing about this is too though? If Brandon somehow loses, we're going to go back to doing this. Forever. Forever. You don't get to walk away from this. You got two more years of this shit, dude. Now we're just going to your rallies.

I'm just going to open up a can of Alex Stein on him. I'm making a community note right now. Tony Gonzalez eats corn the long way. I don't know. This is what's funny. This is what happens when you fight an internet candidate, an internet savvy candidate, and you don't know how to do the internet. I would have told, like my favorite comment, I think you've said it before, is...

It's like one of the top cons. I think the dude that runs the channel hates Tony. And it's his own team. I just recently said, like, when we were on the flight back, I'm like, I hope Tony gets his money. I genuinely hope he gets his money back from whatever firm is running his Twitter account. Because Jesus Christ. After one, I would be like, bro, like, fucking...

Let's just not, let's actually be nice to Brandon. Let's see how that goes. I'm trying to dopamine, like the, the dopamine mouse in the maze kind of shit, like the press on the button sort of thing. It's like, I'm not going to ratio him into the dirt if he doesn't try to attack me.

But every time he does, it's like, no, I'm going to make your life very difficult. The most annoying part to me is the fact that he has like his official his official Twitter, which has a silver checkmark because he's a politician. Yeah. And then he has another Twitter that's verified and blue. But that's Team Tony and the Team Tony one that isn't actually him, but paid by him is the one that only slanders Brandon. And then his other one is just like positive and neutral about everything. Well, he changed the name of it. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

So he has two Twitters now, one just for slandering you. It was Tony Gonzalez, and then he changed it to Team Tony when he decided to dedicate it to slandering me. It would be a fucking shame if somebody that was good at the internet made a Team Brandon Twitter. Yeah, I don't know. That would be weird. That would suck, man. Homelander running it with fucking Homelander 2.

Let's light this candle. Let's fucking light this candle. Who can talk better shit, me or Tony's intern? And I went, oh. Buddy, I want to do a GoFundMe for whoever is running Tony's Twitter for fucking psychiatry bills.

There's got to be therapy. I just like politicians learning new things. I fucking, I don't, we don't do politics. And I, we're not even talking about politics because there's nothing. It's just about bullying. I'm so happy with that. Like, Hey, I can live with it. Look, corrupt politicians who make shitty votes deserve to be bullied a little. Oh yeah. That's bipartisan. Oh, so good. It's such a wonderful time in human history where like a bunch of veterans who have been, I don't know, I don't want to say wronged, but like, you know, treated shittily before they've been wronged.

Yeah, we get to get together on the internet and just bully the politicians that fucked us all up. I just want to know when they type that first one. Like, watch this, guys. I'm going to fucking out and banter. And then me and you and Nick and Brian are like, oh, the fuck did you say? That fucking meme of like, I'm going to send this tweet.

Wow, that's a lot of comments. The funniest one I saw was he posted it. I saw it like the second it got... It was up for like seconds. And the first comment was somebody with a fucking meme of Ned Stark. You know, the winter is coming meme. But it had fucking Cody on it. It said, Donut is coming. Donut is coming.

I joked about that on the live shows. Like, if you play Helldivers, like, Cody's, like, my stratagem on Twitter. I was like, oh, wow, shit, Tony posted. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Cody land. Boom.

The 11th most influential man on Twitter. Oh my God. And all this could have been avoided just by voting like an actual conservative. Who'd have thunk it? I would have just been nice to you if I was like your opponent. I'm like, let's look at their strengths, the internet. Okay, we're not fucking with that one. Let's be kind to them. Let's praise them and just...

Let's win everyone with kindness. Kill them with kindness. He chose violence and he chose violence against the wrong fucking community. Could it, could it just literally met with me and said, Hey, I fucked up in the past. I voted wrong.

Here's my promise for you. I'm going to vote this way from now on. And I probably would have considered it. I probably would have, like, I would have backed down. Instead, you chose to attack. Let's try to bully Brandon on the internet. Let's go fuck with sharks and water. You fucked up. And really, the first one, let's do it when he's making, on a fucking episode where we just left a veteran suicide.

sewer slide panel. Let's double down on that one. With all the work that we've done for veteran charities and all of our fucking history, like, most of the people at that table are fucking veterans. All the shit we did, like, that's really where you want to attack us? So one time I was like, ugh, ugh, Eli hung, like, Eli hate. I was like, okay, I'm not a fan anymore, yeah. Remain neutral right up until you fuck with my boy on that shit. I'm like, oh my God. Brandon Herrera bullied Donald Trump's minor son when he said, and I quote,

He is pretty tall. What? That's the funniest shit. Like, really? I wish I was that tall, dude.

The worst that was said was just he was a cryptid. Like, and that was me, Canyon. I didn't say any of that shit. You're like, yeah, he's kind of tall. And I quote. I love Cody at breakfast this morning looking at the picture of the new Tony tweet at the time where he's in his white uniform. And you're like, oh, we would have bullied this guy. Another Navy vet. Sorry, Master Chief.

I'm just, dude, I can just tell he was the type of fucking, like the type of person that everyone hated around him while he was in the military. Yeah, that's what, everyone knows one of those guys. When you have that in the military, it is one of those dudes that's like, fuck it, I can name quite a few. Yeah, you're just like, ah, shit. Sarn H, that's not giving, thankfully he wasn't my Sarn, he was one of my buddy Sarns, and that dude was just...

He was the one I think I told the story when he went to breach a house. Dumbass. I used the shotgun. I got two or did he pulled back? So one of the rounds just barely ricocheted and it hit him in the leg and he like fell to the ground. He's like, Oh, I've been hit. Oh, I've been hit. And then doc runs up to check him. He's like, don't save the morphine for someone else. Doc.

And Doc looked at him and he's like, yeah, I wasn't going to use it. It's a fucking grace. You're fine. Get the fuck up. Break the pants. Yeah. It was like barely nothing. Oh, he was the sergeant that made everyone his only his only his squad would have to stay from 9 a.m. till 5 p.m. every day in the day room and read books.

Military manuals God yeah that guy Fucking gay And we no one else In the entire company other than him And he was like cause I want my soldiers Squared away also cause you don't Want to go home cause you have no fucking friends Or a wife Or anyone in your life He should run for congress He probably is

that dude, but those that's, that's Tony. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's the, that's the type of duty is. And well, realistically, and that's the one thing I will never talk shit about. I'll never talk shit about Tony's military service. You know, I, I respect that. It's like, you respect the rank, you know, that's, that's one of those, like he, he did serve his country. However, his votes are what I have the fucking problem with. And that's the only place I've ever attacked him. Genuinely.

I've never paid to attack him anywhere except for the bad votes he's made. And that's the way politics should be. You didn't touch foot.

foot in combat and you sent troops to more combat. Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit. Yeah, I'll attack him. Fuck you, dude. Like, I got your back, man. Me and Eli and Nicholson are gonna attack you all day long, you fucking asshole. You didn't do war and then you send people to war? Go fuck yourself. I tried to take the high road and then the veterans at the table disagreed. No! No!

Oh, the next article is going to be like, Brandon's friends don't like me. You can keep your rules of engagement. We're playing a different game. I was just thinking, like, my consultant's going to be really happy with this episode. We didn't really talk politics at all. And then that last 20 minutes we went, fuck it all. I will see you gentlemen in the fucking headline. I'll see you in the...

capital for democracy. I'll see you in the mailer. Hopefully I have a bigger cowboy hat this time, man.

All hat, no cattle, Brandon Herrera. Fucking demo roasted you on the podcast earlier. Oh, no. Apparently, I don't know if it was a county or the city had like some longhorns that they didn't want anymore. And they're like, hey, you have all this land. Do you want these five longhorns? And he's like, yeah, I'll take them. And he's like, yeah, unlike Brandon, I'm not all hat, no cattle. I'm ball cap and some cattle. You know what I mean?

That's fantastic. Some ball capping. All ball capping some cattle. I need to fucking... That's what we said we need to do, especially now that he's got those longhorns. I want to go out there with the cartoonishly big fucking turd Ferguson foam hat. It's like, fuck you. Dude, that with you riding a fucking longhorn is...

The best photo in the goddamn world. Or you're walking it with the fucking, the sun setting behind you, but turd first. I will Gallagher. I have an idea. Yeah. Oh, those photos. Oh my God. You send those Mellers out. Just. Yeah.

All cattle. Yep. Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ. I'm fucking in heaven right now. They don't know how to fight a guy who knows self-deprecating humor. And it's hilarious. M&M from eight miles. There's nothing you can say that's going to hurt me. I put everything on the Internet. That's why I love the thing. Like, he doesn't even live in Texas. Like, motherfucker, I put my entire life online. Like, I have years backlogging me moving to Texas, why I did it and why I'm here and when I did it.

I think on that note, we're at hour 40. Yeah. Fucking Cody. That was, dude, we got to play catch up. We got to chat. We got to just hang out. We barely do these. Yeah. Just, just the boys, just the boys just get a hang catching up for a little bit. Cause they are harder episodes. Cause we spend all the time with each other.

And we get all our chatting out throughout the day. And it's like, now sit down and have that exact same conversation over and over. And you're like, what? I forget. Okay. Let's talk about the fucking, the live shows. And then we're good. Thank you guys for coming to the unsubscribe podcast. I am joined today by Eli double fab, the fat electrician.

Brandon Herrera and myself, Donut Operator. Thank you so much. Check out the Patreon at the end of this because there's going to be about 10 more minutes of content. Love you guys. Quack bang out. I'll see you sexy YouTube mother lovers in Patreon.