134 - God Tier Trolling In The Military ft. Evan Hafer
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Well, it really sucks that Nick couldn't be here because of the accident. I mean, he's healing though. From the picture I saw. That man will sit and talk for 15, 20, 30 minutes. What happened? Freshly made ravioli or hand-pulled ramen noodles. When you dine with Chase Sapphire Reserve, either will be amazing. Because it's the choice between a front row seat at the chef's table, while getting a live demo of how to make ravioli, or dining family style as you hear the story behind your ramen broth. This weekend it's ravioli.

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God Emperor. I always like to just use that to troll those other fucking dudes. I don't fucking care, but it's like when they're around, I'm like... Those other fucking dudes? When they're around, I'm like, well, I'm the founder. I'm like, nah, you weren't there. Core one. That was a year later, actually. Did you make the beans? Just Evan being Evan. King of trolls. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I'm thinking that Thor Ragnarok.

Well, Matt Pest is the founder. Is he, though? Is he? I don't know. There we go. Audio's good. JT, he's the one that brewed the first coffee, right? And then he brewed it, made it, showed you how to do it, and then once from there you got motivated by him? Yeah. I think that was the story. That was roughly the story, but just completely different.

That's the version I heard from the New York Times. The most reliable news source in America. Hater of coffee. Speaking of which, I did want to ask you, out of all the Democrats you've donated to, who's your favorite? It's so hard because there's so many. There's so many to choose from.

And did the $500 really turn the times? Yeah, yeah. That's my favorite part. A $500 bet. Yeah, a $500 bet. Hey, Tulsi, hey, you know what? Your friend runs for president. You have to contribute, but I mean...

Who would have known I would have worn that around my neck? To be fair, it's funny now because I'm like, yes.

500 bucks. Yeah. Kyle? Kyle, yeah. We got him. Bring him in. We got him. We got him. Hold on. We got him on the phone. Let's go. You ready, Cody? Yeah, yeah. Hold this up. You just got to pop it. You just got to pop it. All right. Then drink the whole thing. Three, two, one.

Hi everyone, welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by Eli DoubleFap, Congressman Herrera, and God Emperor of Black Rifle Coffee Company, Evan Hafer. That's it. That's all I have. That's the only time I'm going to talk this entire podcast. That's what the comments section tells me. I know that it was the last week's episode. God damn it, dude. Dude, when Luke, Cody came in, he's like, I'm going to start talking more. I'm going to show everyone that this is my fucking podcast. Let's go. Let's go.

Well, Brandon and him started riffing about historical stuff, and I didn't know how to contribute to shit. Eli didn't either, though. We were just the whole time like, this is cool. I didn't know this about Abraham Lincoln. And you're just pointing at Luke. You're like, oh, he's signing to me during the podcast. I love the comment section earlier. Just like, man, I'm so fucking glad Cody's finally back on the podcast so he can say nothing. Yeah.

Finally. There was actual comments saying, hey, you're actually talking and everything. Everyone's like, hey. And then we got you first time on the podcast. First time. You know, I've been waiting. I've been waiting for the right moment. And it felt good. It felt really good. For some reason right now, it just feels better.

We were like, when will the best time for Evan to be on? Let's ride the wave from Joe Rogan into this one. We'll get those views. Get those, yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Fuck your stories, Evan. I don't give a shit about those. My stories are stupid, yeah.

What have you done? Yeah, it's stupid. Dude, welcome, welcome, buddy. Thank you, thank you. How you doing? How you been? I'm good. This coffee, by the way, is so bad. Black rifle. Black rifle coffee. Because it's been sitting on the counter for how long? Dude. A year? Probably two years. Probably two years. Fuck, dude. It's been open...

for way too long. I'm going to drink it either way. It's better than nothing. This is the only time you got angry. You've been so happy. He took a sip of the coffee and it looked like I shit in his coffee. It tastes like that. It looked like a personal slight. Yeah, because it's like we're right down the road. You just got to text and be like, hey, I need more coffee. But no, you just keep that on there. Okay. That's what you have for your guests? No, that's your introduction? You guys don't really... Have you guys had black rifle coffee?

I have an eight-year-old bag. Guys, if you want the best coffee ever. They're drinking it going... I was thinking about this because every time now I see you, that guy that we ran into at the... The Jake Paul fight. The Jake Paul fight where he's like captured us in front of the bathroom for...

Easily, what, 10 minutes probably where he called you a lion. You're like, you're like a lion. You're like, you don't know about this, Eli? No, I don't know this entire story. So we were at the fight and then we were like, okay, let's go hang out and talk because it was just kind of boring. And so we found ourselves next to the bathroom because I needed to go find a bathroom. And we're just like hanging out talking. This dude walks up.

And he's just really enamored. Very high. Super enamored where he's like, you're like a lion, man. You're mean. You're beautiful. And to be fair, it is beautiful. Thank you. It means a lot.

But now I just, every time I see him, I'm like, like a lion. I never know how to reply to that either. No, especially with the light right now, bro. That hair is, you got that rim light going, you looking like a lion, brother. You know, this is like kind of like my area to sit now. So I know you put, you arrange the lighting in such a way. Specifically for that. Eli's lightingtism. Just bounces right off your,

I know, now everyone's like, "Man, that is really good." Goddamn. God damn. Are you ever gonna go short ever again? Or do you think you're gonna keep that thing? I'm cutting it soon. I need to start, as I'm getting older, I need to start ramping it down to where I can have it branded where it's shorter hair is okay, and then eventually when I go bald, it's not a freakout. I'm not gonna do that bad comb over. Are you gonna go bald?

I'm terrified of it. Really? Well, you know, you get your genes from your, I think your androgenic genes from your mother's father, and he was bald as shit. Oh, man, I'm fucked. Yeah, we're... I heard that too, but

My mother's father was bald as shit, and I could still hold on. It's still there. How old are you now? 47 next month. Yeah, okay, shit. Yeah, I'm old. Evan's the oldest one here. Yeah, I'm old, man. Congratulations, Elon. I see you guys, and it gives me hope. You have that idea as a kid, like, man, I hit 32, I'm going to be bald. Yeah. Dude, you got that fucking Mexican head of hair, bro.

Every time I go get my hair cut, I'm like, any problems? Is this the appropriate amount of hair falling out right now? Are we good? You're asking the barber as if he's a doctor or she's a doctor. Like, hey, what do you got going on back there? Is there anything I should be concerned with? Maybe some, you know, thinness or anything? I can't see what's going on back here. I don't know. Yeah. So, Mr. Evan, there is a story. Okay, Evan is probably one of the greatest trolls any of us has met. He will...

Troll to troll, just to troll. I didn't experience until moving to Utah. And I was like, oh, okay, this is how he is 24 seven. It's my favorite side of Evan nobody gets to see. Yes, exactly. And then it's to the degree you like most people when I troll, I'll take Cody's water.

For an hour. He will do shit like- Wait, wait, wait, we're backin' up. What the fuck? I don't know, I was using a random- That's not a troll, Eli, that's just random kleptomania. I'm upset, Eli, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm upset now. You stole my fuckin' water, bro. Your extent of trolling is, "Where'd my water go?" He's a really nice troll, dude. Hey, look, here's the meme. First they're sour, then they're sweet. Yes. Yes. Now yours was your wife.

With the... No. Okay. Reset. Reset. Your wife had a garden. Have you heard this? Yes. Can we talk about it? She'll never listen to this. That's what I thought. She'll never listen to this. Please. Bro code Fight Club shit. Come on.

Let's rewind a little bit because one of my favorite things to do is troll my wife. And I, I lay in really long, elaborate plans to troll her from that might take a year. Now I'm setting this one up to last years. This is not just something I'm going to do one season. This is something I'm going to plan on doing for at least a decade. So last year she planted a garden and she,

I took some of the seeds and I planted pumpkins around the yard and those pumpkins consumed the yard because I don't know if any of you guys ever seen fucking, I mean, a pumpkin patch obviously is huge, but they spread out and go everywhere. And it was,

mind blowing to my wife because she's like, I just don't understand what the fuck is going on with these pumpkins and why they're everywhere. Sounds a little bit mundane, but not really because I'm like, I don't know. But next year it's going to get better because then it's going to be who knows what, like tomato plants on the other side of the yard, maybe like a sunflower, more pumpkins. But what I really want to do is get something really exotic, like a tree.

Where she leaves. Yeah. But she plants like an apple tree. What I want to do is have the fresh dirt. So then I replace it with a tree. That's like a year ahead. And then she comes back. She's like, what the fuck is going on with this tree? How is it growing so fast? I'm like, I don't know. You're a crazy gardener, man. Like, so she's always more expensive year over year. When you keep replacing it with a bigger fucking tree. I think for the first year, I'll just have to replace it like five,

four solid times where she comes back. It's like, maybe we'll call it three or four inches, but she comes back to like a four foot tree. I'm like, I don't know. He, did you put miracle grow or something on it? I I'll just pretend like I don't, I don't exactly know what's going on, but it's a lemon tree. I've, I've been really practicing my trolling specifically around her for years, which, you know, I, I, I used to sing this song. It was like a,

It wasn't a real song. It was like, ting-tong, bing-bong-bing. Right? And I would fucking sing this song around the house. Just...

To get her to say no and to see where her breaking point was going to be. You would do that. Now, where would you do this? Everywhere. Doesn't matter. Like around the house. Doesn't matter. Like I would just do it at the store. But then the goal was to get my kids to be echoing the same lingo that drove her fucking nuts. So then I would be going through the house saying that singing this, the kids would be going through saying this. And then finally she broke. She's like, stop.

Like she's like breaking down yelling. I'm like, ah, perfect daughter. These are just kind of a laundry list of different things. I think this is what people refer, uh, refer to when they're talking about, um, reintegration problems. Oh yeah. Yeah. I could see that. It's like, you know, taking the same skills that you used and just using them to weaponize your household.

In a fun way. I don't think so. It's fun for me. It's fun psychological warfare, dude. In a fun way. Ah, I broke her once. Now to go for number two. We'd walk through the stores. It was the first I picked it up from you. It was like walking through stores. You'd be with your wife, and then it would just be like, no, I won't sleep with you, honey. Well, we can have a threesome later. Like, in a...

Just aisle. And his wife's like, ah, ah, ah. Well, it's like we were at Whole Foods and we're in a very crowded grocery aisle. And I was like, I don't know. I guess I could be open to a three-way. I just don't understand why you think that it's got to be three dudes and you. I don't think that's a three-way. I think that's just you having sex with three dudes or something. She's like,

shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I'm like, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I don't think that you got to count correctly. And it's all randomly throw these things out for her. I've done it like multiple times when you're in checkout and I'm

And the person's just kind of ringing people out, like just mindlessly, like, how was your day, sir? I'm like, you know, instead of saying like, great or whatever, I'm like, oh, it's great. You know, like, what are you doing this weekend? I'm like, oh, you know, we're laying down some tarps. We're going to duct tape everything off. We're going to have a big orgy, like 20, 30 people over. Hey, what are you doing? And my wife's just like, shut the fuck up. You know, like, don't tell her about the orgy. And they're just, it shakes them out of their reality for one second where they're like,

I'm busy. That's... I'm just... Yeah, they don't know how to answer that. I'm super, super busy. It will be $128.32. Yeah. It's like the plane just autopilot off. Like, oh, wait, shit. What? What?

The reality is shaken. They're like, okay, fuck. I got to answer this question outside of my fucking manual. Okay, no, I'm not doing that. I think that's the best part of a relationship is trolling and having that fun with it. You guys don't do that? Oh, I do all the fucking time. That's one of my favorite things. Just continuous troll and then watching the kiddos now act the same way as I do in public because they...

flinging arms as being stupid. Now they do that first. I'm like, now I'm not the embarrassing one. I just get to mimic my kids.

is

Is that what it is? Is there an autistic one? Love on the Spectrum is autism. Oh, there's an actual autism one? Yeah, dude, that is the weirdest show. If you have not, dude, Love on the Spectrum. Is it good? Bro, it's people that love trains and they don't care about it. Like, hi, I love you. This is my girlfriend. Would you like to go play trains now? Let's go count.

Freshly made ravioli or hand-pulled ramen noodles. When you dine with Chase Sapphire Reserve, either will be amazing because it's the choice between a front row seat at the chef's table while getting a live demo of how to make ravioli or dining family style as you hear the story behind your ramen broth. This weekend, it's ravioli. Next weekend, ramen.

Find the detail that moves you with immersive dining experiences from Sapphire Reserve. Chase, make more of what's yours. Learn more at chase.com slash sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member of FDIC. Subject to credit approval. What's your favorite part about her? She smells nice. Trains. Dude, they're so happy. It's like what Matt Rive said. He's like, just the most happy people you will ever meet. Like, everyone's so positive. And then when they meet each other, it is like...

The parents are like, yeah, we're super supportive because these are adults. They have like Tism Tinder or something. That's got to be an app. Tism Tinder? Yeah.

we're making it. I know that. Dude, we're going to be raking in tens of dollars. It's like Bumble. These people that don't like to socialize are making an app for socializing. It's like Bumble has like the Bumble BFF. Like they've got like different breakdown bits or whatever. You just have one that's specifically for people on the spectrum. Just hit that. It's all men. It's

It's all men. It's all men. It's all men. It's all men. And men. Did you know that the sheath was created in the Iron Age, but the underwear itself was created in the 21st century? Under. Just feel it on your skin. It's so soft. Please don't steal my.

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- Wait a second. Check out the brand new super fast website, sheathunderwear.com and use code unsubscribe to save 20%. - So when you started your trolling, when did that happen? I'm assuming military is when you fully went in, but like what time? I've noticed some of your stories and we're gonna talk about some of them 'cause they are- - I did this really, really, really early 'cause these are the things that they entertain me specifically.

And I think it really accelerated going through special forces. It sounds like, thank you. Thank you for your service. Did you thank him? Big knife. Lots of apps. Thank you for your service, sir. You go through this.

As a green beret. As a green beret. Just to throw it out there, Jake Watson's on the couch over there. He didn't thank Evan for his service. Yeah, thanks, Jake. I guess you hate America. No big deal. He's a shit lawyer.

Jake's going to be like, I wasn't there. Yes, you were. No, that's not what the internet thinks. I had this dude, and he's still one of my best friends today. He's a retired command star major. And he really, I think, accelerated my level of fucking humor because...

he'd show me that you could be a complete and utter jackass and still be 100% competent. You had to have two sides to the coin where you're like, oh, I can be a fucking lunatic. At the same time, I can also be in charge. You can be competent, you can lead men, you can do all those things, but you also have to have this other side, which is really fucking fun and weird. And it makes everything a little bit better, especially when you're like in the, like,

just in a suck fest and you'd have one guy that's just kind of a, like a crazy idiot. It makes everything fun. Uh, he was shout out or yeah, I wish I could, but he's still like doing all kinds of weird shit, but he's, he's like one of his retirement speech was one of the single funniest things I've ever seen in my life. He was a standup routine. He did a standup routine for his fucking retirement speech and,

And, and this is around a crowd of people like generals and Sergeant majors, and they're all laughing hysterically. And he, he and I really hit it off early on, but then, you know, making a long story even longer and somewhat even boring, but it started where I started fucking with guys because they're really serious.

Everybody's so serious all the fucking time, and especially when you're in the military, they're like stoic and they're not trying to laugh and they're not having any fun until you kind of break some ice and you get through to the people that you really kind of connect with. Well, I would be out doing land nav early on trying to do these selections. You're like running through the woods and for time and trying to get to your point. I was fairly decent at it and I would come up to these points first. So then...

I would literally just get naked at the end of the point. And guys would be running to the point of like, hey man, have you seen an Appaloosa? It's somewhere around here. It's got a big red handprint on it. And so they're running through the woods seeing this fucking naked dude asking...

If he'd seen a horse, and they're like, what the fuck is going on? It's like one of the single funniest things you can do, actually, because you've got a guy that's trying to fucking finish for time, and they are so serious because this is the rest of their career. You're good. You got your point. Now you can fuck with him, right? Hey, man, you fucking dicks wagging around like, hey, you see my Appaloosa? And...

I don't know of too many other funny things, but that's pretty fucking funny. This is during selection? Yeah. This is the hardest moment of these dudes' lives. I'm almost there, just don't give up. One foot in front of the... Why is there a naked man in front of me? Have you seen my ass, Lucha? Because I can tell. And now it's also the hardest moment of their life. Yes. And

And now they're starting to question their reality and their sanity and all kinds of weird things, right? They haven't slept in a couple days. Yeah, they haven't slept. Wait, wait, wait, wait. They're looking at their canteen kind of funny. Yeah, they're like, why is this naked dude in the woods talking about a horse? Hundreds of acres of woods. This is not like... Thousands, yeah. Yeah, this isn't like they're off the side of the road. This is like you're thousands of acres of woods and you just magically stumbled upon horses.

One naked white. In the middle of the woods. In like combat boots. I just like stash my shit behind a tree. I'm like, hey man, you see my horse? No, sir. And they're not supposed to talk to anybody either, right? You're not supposed to talk to other candidates. You're not supposed to do anything. But it's hard not to.

I'm just saying it's kind of hard not to. Uh, and then it, it went, it's hard not to talk to naked men. Evan, Evan Hafer, 2023, 2023. It's hard not to, when you're running through the woods, you're like, what the fuck is this dude talking about? When I went through seer school, you have this small, small group of guys and you're out trying to survive or whatever. You haven't eaten for several days. You're not sleeping. You're just trying to like go through this survival lane. And, and, um,

I went out one day like with one of my buddies and we were trying to get some food and we found this huge blackberry patch. Well, everybody hadn't eaten for two days. So I was filling my pockets with canteen cups and everything with blackberries and everybody's beyond fucking hungry. And, and I stopped my buddy right, right before we get back into the camp. I'm like, well, yo, stop, stop, stop, stop. Like, let me go in first. Don't say anything. He's like, okay. And we,

Everybody's real serious. This is a serious thing, right? So I take a couple of blackberries out of my pocket and I smash them up against my face like I'd been stuffing them in my mouth. And I come in, everybody's around the campfire. I was like, fucking dry out there, guys. We didn't find anything. There's no food. I haven't found anything. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're like yelling at me. Everyone's super hungry and pissed. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Let me, let me do a joke real fast because this is the time that everybody's going to really want to laugh about starving and me eating all the food. And, uh, and we're in the prison camp.

So you get back into the prison camp, you're all wearing like, you know, scrubs basically. It's like, oh, our scrubs. You got your boots and you're shuffling around in the gravel. And I'd always like go up and start talking to guys and they're like super freaked out because they don't want, you're not supposed to be talking to anybody. Like, yo, have you guys hit that sauna? Have you guys gotten in the cold plunge or whatever? Because it's like they're dunking you in.

Oh, God. In no shit cold water. And I'm talking about him like it's a club bed. I'm like, this place is awesome, man. And they're just like, get the fuck away from me, dude. You're going to get me in trouble. You're going to get me beat. You're going to get me slapped. But seriously, this place is pretty rad, right? Like, think about it. And they're just like, get the fuck away from me, please. You would be my least favorite person in the world.

I rise to the occasion when things are so bad I'm at my funniest like when they're just like the fucking worst things you can imagine like no time for a joke Everyone else is just getting smoked. They're just getting fucking wrecked and I'm like man. This is fun I I ripped my pants out during the invasion of Iraq. I had this like huge

huge hole in my groin, and I only had one pair of pants. So my team leader was next to me. I would draw a new picture, a new face on my balls every day, and then we would decide what type of a day it was going to be, whether or not I had a frowny face or a smiley face. They called that the Baghdad Groundhog. The Baghdad Groundhog. Evan's balls come out of his pants, whether you see it shadow or not. Yeah.

Eight more days of deployment. Eight more days of deployment, boys. We used to...

mow your dad's yard naked, won't you, just to fuck with him? Oh, yeah, yeah. My dad's like... He would get home. Like, imagine you drive home, and then your son is doing this. My trolls against my dad have been some of the most iconic things I've done. Most of them involve nudity so far. Well, yeah, because nudity's shocking. Like, a frontal male nudity is shocking. Like, they're like, whoa. Ask anyone on the playground. Okay.

Hence why I can't fly Delta anymore. Can't take a joke. This motherfucker's not real. He's just like spreading over the fucking first class. My dad's like this hardcore. He's very hardcore. John Bircher conservative. Like he's, he's super great guys. Awesome. He's like one of my best friends.

But he's also very serious. He's had to learn how to cope with me over the years. And I would come home from like training or something like that. And I would just be mowing the lawn, just buck naked. And that's how that's how he would come home and be like, oh, you're home. OK, here we go. What he's not telling you is that he lived in a gated community. Yeah. Lots of neighbors, lots of, you know.

Yeah, neighbors do. No. I mean, not really. Yeah. I was hoping it was like a cul-de-sac and you are the cul-de-sac. I was picturing like a school bus drop off at three. No, he lived up on this hill. I was driving up the hill to go see him one day and there's this big bull snake stretched out across the road. And I was like, fuck yeah. I was going up to see him. And I had a snow shovel, like a little snow shovel in the back of the Jeep. And I like herded this thing

it was probably a five foot bowl snake into an igloo cooler. And I go up to him and he's painting his shop. And I take out this cooler and I was like, hey buddy, got you a sandwich. Stopped off at the deli and got you a sandwich. And he like climbs down off of his ladder. It's like, you know, you're all right. I'll take back 63% of everything negative I've said about you. And I'm like, wait, hold on. Hold on for the ride.

He opens it up and he fucking blows up. He's like, oh. And I was like, you okay? You gonna have a droopy left side? What's going on, buddy? You know, and he's like, you son of a bitch. I can't believe you did that. I thought you were really getting me a sandwich. Well, did you get me a sandwich? I was like, no, I got myself one. I already ate it on the way up here. I got you a snake. That's what I got you.

I did actually get a misunderstanding.

It costs more than the sandwich. You should be thankful. Yeah. You should be real thankful. For it. If this were a gift in India, we'd be betrothed. Dad, we're getting married now. You're mine. You're mine. I'm cultured now, Father. We're going to have a good time. Now, you did...

One story is I told them briefly about it, but it was when you picked up, what is it, Command Sergeant Major and like General Delta? Oh, God. I have, yeah, I totally forget about this. This is one of my favorite. This is, again, this is like the Command Sergeant Major of Delta and the Colonel or? Yeah, so this was, these were Squadron Commander Sergeant Major, and I forget what squadron it was, but.

So we are out in Kirkuk Regional Air Force Air Base, CRAB is what they called it up in northern Iraq.

And there's that the time the CIA and Delta, we were both sharing kind of a similar compound out there. And I went out there and it was super funny because the, the, our, our Delta force liaison was like, Hey man, can you run out and grab, he was, he was doing something. I think he was, might've been watching ISR feed or something. I was like, yeah, man, no problem. I'll, I'll run out there and grab those guys. That's super easy.

And so we had a Hilux. Well, I had been digging around in this shipping container. I was cleaning out and doing inventory. Well, I came across, for the life of me, I couldn't figure this out. We had water skis and a life jacket and a bunch of shit in this thing. So I was like, okay, there we go. So as soon as he was like, hey...

Reiterate. The liaison of Delta was like, hey, hey, we got these VIPs coming in. Evan's like, hmm. I'm still stuck on a life jacket and skis in northern Iraq. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know either. I was like, what the fuck is going on? So light bulb moment comes on. So I throw the water skis in back. I zip up this life jacket. Well, I'd gone to the sew shop.

on base maybe two or three weeks before, and I made these game eaters, and it was like a rainbow meter that was pegged out, and it just said game eater, and I would put it on everybody's kit. So they'd be wearing it around like their unit patch, like a skull and like a Punisher patch, and then they'd look down, and there's this freaking rainbow game eater. And I was like, so I put this thing on my life jacket, so I put my face, because we cruise around with these like

They were like disguise kits with like sunglasses and mustaches because we want to look like Iraqis. I put this fake mustache on. You put the fake, you know, the ha fake mustache. We didn't want to look like those jet, the Asian people. Come on. I had blown out a pair of jeans like three weeks before, which is a totally separate thing.

totally separate thing. I had these like fucking jeans. They had a big rip in them. So I just cut them off and made Davey Dukes out of them. So I had a high cut jean shorts with a fucking life preserver, a fake mustache, mirrored sunglasses, water skis in the back of the Hilux with a game eater attached to my life jacket. And I drive out to the airfield and the dudes are coming out of the plane and they're looking at me like,

What in the, for the love of God did they send? It was like, Hey man, I'm sent out here to pick you guys up. And they were both looking at me as if I quite literally had a dick growing out of my head. But then as they got closer, they looked at the meter and they're like, what's that saying? Or are you gay? And I was like, no, it's taking a reading off both you guys spiking out. Might be those salmon colored shirts. So I get them in the truck.

I drive him back over. I'm like, you guys going to hit the fucking lake later? We're going to be out in the speedboat ripping around, you know. We're going to have a good time. And they're like, is there a lake out here? And I was like, no. Do Delta Force guys not do fucking map recon? Like, what the fuck? And, uh... You castled them! So then I get him back.

And I take them to this like little shed that I'd thrown two cots into and it was riddled with bullet holes and it just was an open air facility. I was like, this is where you guys live in. This is a hooch setting you guys up really nice. We're over here in the AC units, but that's kind of what we've got right now. And they're like, Holy shit, this sucks. And I was like, no, I'm just fucking with you. Get in the truck. Let's go. But yeah,

For some reason, they didn't want to do anything with me after that. They didn't want to do any, like, any join-ups. I don't know. But then they had to. So I went to the next briefing wearing the life jacket and uniform. And they actually got a pretty good laugh out of it. But they were like, what in the fuck is going on with this dude? He's, like, completely lost his mind, which isn't, like, like,

outside of the definition of where I was. Like, I was like, eh, whatever, who cares? You're going into war. Like, think about that. You're landing, you're like, okay, let's see. And then you pull up wearing a game meter. This guy doesn't take war serious at all. I don't, I didn't. I was wearing a fucking white hang loose hat.

with a pink hand on it during the invasion of Iraq. I had a 40mm grenade launcher and like six grenades and a hang loose hat. And then the

Summer of 06. Fucking right on, man. They're like, we get to see our Delta boys again. Evan pulls up. Hey! Hey, boys. It's just people take it too serious. You got to turn the volume down on that seriousness and have just a tad, a little bit of fun, tad bit of fun. Just a tad bit of fun on War. They're just so fucking serious. Sprinkle some fun on that War. Yeah.

Some seasoning. This might be your last day here. You got to at least have a couple laughs, right? You would go out as a fucking legend with that. I missed it when he pulled up in that gay suit and that meter thing. And I hated him at that moment. I found him funny later. And it is a shame he died. That guy was super funny. I hated him. And honestly, I wanted that to happen. I am glad that IED exploded. It

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It's exactly probably they're like, what the fuck? People aren't doing 22 Push-Ups because of you. That's not even my best one. I've had like even better ones. Like I've had some really, really, really fucking incredible like moments where I've just been able to like really, really sell some shit. Please share with the class. Yeah, please. I'm interested. Are we recording this? No, just real quick. Heather said she can't be comfortable around you because of how much you've trolled her in the past. Yeah.

I take that as a compliment. The people out there, it is such a different, because people also, when people would come up at BRCC and they'd be like, how do you just talk to Evan like that? I'm like, what? They are so deathly afraid of you. I was like, if you want to win him over, troll him back. Yeah. No, he'll fire me.

Like, no, he won't. He'll probably laugh. You just have fun back. I mean, he might fire you. Yeah, he might. He'll probably fire you, actually. Probably. And that will be a joke amongst itself. Yes. Yes. 100%. But he'll laugh about it. There's some people in the company. He's laughing. Yeah. There's some people in the company I've told them multiple times, like, hey, ooh, you're still here? Huh. I'm going to stop by HR. It's like a...

Like I'll come back after a few days and like, oh, you haven't packed up your office yet, huh? Okay. I'll cruise by Jacob and take care of that. You know, he's an HR guy. What the fuck? It takes a certain amount of rapport to like be able to sell that joke. I can't do that after somebody has only been there for a week, but it's, it's definitely something that,

is super funny if, if, if it's a joke. A lot of people don't feel that way. And if it's not a joke, it's funnier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done that. I've heard about that. Yeah. I've had a few times where people come in and they sit down and I'm like, today's your last day. They're like, ha ha ha. Not joking. Yeah. Hey,

Not joking. You're always the boy that cried wolf, but you're the wolf. Yeah. Yeah. They're literally like turning in their fucking key card with their office in their hand like, oh, Evan. Oh, that funny guy. He's going to run out any moment now and stop me before I get in my car. Any moment. He's going to call me on this drive home. Three weeks. He'll call me anytime.

Six months later. That was a joke. That was a joke. We're back on you. Why would you do that? God, I wish. I'm in financial ruin. Most of that stuff was easier when, I mean, you can't do that now because that's considered, you know, workplace harassment or something. I don't know. Some fancy term that lawyers come up with. But early on, it was, I mean, you guys can imagine because it was like me, Matt,

Jared and like two other guys. It was like a former MMA fighter. And you know, a few other guys like my other buddy, Edwin Parnell, who's another SF guy. So it's just like a team room, just a full blown team room. And it was fucking wild. It was wild. Yeah. Yeah. You remember that, right? The Ironwood, the Ironwood office where we were, we, we had, we had a couple different offices before we moved into the place in Salt Lake. And like Clint, Clint, um,

Roman Shay came down and we filmed a video. You remember that? That was the OG one. Yeah, OG. We filmed a bunch of skits there. You remember that Glock skit that we filmed that we never... Oh, my God. It was so crazy. We were like, we can never put this out. We pulled that one and we were like, whoa. Okay, so OG Black Rifle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this one? Oh, my God. I don't even know what they... OG Black Rifle couldn't post it because it was so crazy.

I forgot about that. Does it still exist? Somewhere, yeah. It's fucking funny because it's a gun waiting in line to go to the movies and it's a Glock and he's in the line with this white chick and he's talking about... What were they talking about? Oh, it's because I'm a Glock. It's because I'm a Glock, is it? It's a Glock, it's like...

Dude. It's a walk. It shoots the, or the girlfriend stuff. It's like, don't you say, or God, the bad actress. I remember her. Yeah, she's so bad. She's so bad. Fuck, I can't remember the comedy beat for it because it was a treating the Glock as like a minority. It's just getting belittled. Oh, man, dude. It was, we watched it and we're like, whoa.

It shot somebody at the end of it. Yeah, because at the end, it NDs and blows somebody's head off. We can't show this. It was like the girlfriend, and the girl's like, ah! And it runs off. Because we did a green screen stick, so it was in scene, like talking and moving. Dude, it was epic. Yeah, it was really, really funny. Yeah.

Yeah. When we did Conservative Comes Out, the original concept that we had was, you guys remember that video because it's like one of my favorites, but the original one was, it was a, you come out to your parents as an ATF agent and a guy pulls in and it's a whole other, it's the same set up. Now I see why there was a punting dog joke. Yeah.

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It's like, Dad, I have something to tell you. And then the reveal is like, I'm an ATF agent and I also drive electric cars. And it just kind of devolves into this. And it was super funny because...

The dad starts smashing all the family photos in the fucking house. And it's like, just tear this flat out of my house. I guess it doesn't fucking matter, does it? He's like losing his shit. And then he like rips open the curtains and it's just a, it's a post-nuclear apocalypse. Like everything is fucking blowing up. It's, and then it shifted into, oh, this is,

actually more funny if we did it this way. That one turned out so good. Those are old skits. We used to go, man, I forgot about a lot of those. That was a good era. That was when Facebook was crushing on views too. That was an average upload of, I think it was like 18 million views was our average. That's also when the algorithms weren't trying to go for ad revenue. So you could do two to three minute skit comedy and that would do really well. You could do things that you didn't really...

Don't worry about turning them, them turning the switches off. Right. It's like, yeah, now it's, it, it, it is the way you have to communicate to people that you're, you know, your customers. So it's like, Oh man, if they turn the switches off, like what the fuck are we going to do? Like we're going to be like us and not care.

Yeah. Yeah. That works really well for us. Yeah. Every day. Fucking guns held to my head. No stress at all. No stress at all. And whatsoever. Just the gun right here. It's like, while you think about that, like, while I make this joke, am I going to have a career tomorrow? Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah.

Cody's videos are like, it's just blurred out quacking now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder sometimes how much that helps. I don't know, man. I blur everything. I don't put gunshots in. It's quacking and they still age restrict my videos sometimes. Like, even though it's blurred, you could tell that was the moment of death.

So it was fucking blurred. What do you mean you could see the moment of death? I will say the quacking has like, it pissed me off when he first started doing it, but now it's like so endearing. Oh, I love it now. It's the, they call it like the quacks of justice. I need to make a shirt. So the quacks of justice. That is, that would be a good one. What if you did this shirt with the duck on it? Oh shit. I like that. God to do all the work. A rubber, a rubber duck, but it, it's like quacking, but it goes bang.

So it's like a quack bang? A quack bang. A quack bang out. Quack bang out. Yeah. I could collab with Nick on that. Yeah. That's a good shirt. Well, it really sucks that Nick couldn't be here because of the accident. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's healing, though. Is he? Maybe. Kind of. From the picture I saw. Yeah. What happened? Any cool gear from raiding the palaces? My favorite stories in seeing those pictures of, like,

Some of the dope shit people got home with. The golden dragons and shit. Oh, I have pictures of them on my phone from those. I had all kinds of really, really interesting experiences. I was in Baghdad when we first got into Baghdad. It's like one of my favorite, favorite stories is like I come into this...

Fifth group had a compound in what became the right down where, is this mine or yours or who's it?

I think that was me. It was my headphones. So we, we, there, there's a, there's a ghost in the podcast. No shit. It came from over there. That's why my headphones over there. I was like, it's like, we, we get into Baghdad and it, and it became the, um, where the, the, I think it's a coalition that where we essentially masked in downtown Baghdad right across from the 4th of July bridge. And we had a fifth group compound there. And, um,

that one of the guys with, they had one full fucking room full of like carpets, just nothing but carpets. They'd taken out of all the different palaces and they'd like stuffed them into this one giant warehouse. And it was just nothing but these like silk rugs everywhere. And like one of the guys was like,

sitting there smoking a cigarette and he had his hand around like hand around you like this around this golden bust it was like solid gold bust of saddam he's like smoking a cigarette golden bust man it's pretty sick anyway i drove a formula one car yesterday that was sick as fuck and you're like what he's like yeah it's right over there you want to drive it i was like it's really hard to drive i was grinding the gears it's like

Uday and Kuse had like Formula One cars and Ferraris and all this shit. And so everybody was like, it was on a cannonball run. Like we were fucking rolling into Baghdad and we were racing to try to get to Baghdad. And we're hitting palace after palace after palace. And we were just like, fucking, what are we going to find? Like,

trying to find like blow the fucking hinges off the safes and find any and everything that we could fucking pull out of there. So I've got this lonely planet guide. This is no shit. I have a lonely planet guide for Iraq. And I'm like, there's a palace on the Euphrates. Let's go. It's like the LA map

- Bro, it was because our maps were shit. - Except it's the Bible. - And we're like, we're going to Babylon. There's a palace there because we were just looking for all the different palaces. We had like rough estimates as to some of where they were and some grid coordinates. - 2,000 years ago, Jesus is born in a manger. 2,000 years later, you're driving an F1 car over the site of where this was.

And we step into this palace, the first one that we hit, and there's just people...

falling out of this. Like as soon as we're, cause we had to drive up this windy road to the top of this palace that overlooked the Euphrates and you're going up to this palace and you're like, holy shit, dude, like we, we hit the fucking mother load. Like we are going in and we're going to have like, you know, we're going to load up our trailers full of gold and all kinds of crazy shit. But all these people are just fleeing out of this thing. They're all carrying like giant vases and carpets and everything. And it was crazy because it was complete chaos and,

And so we get into the house or the palace and we clear it. So we go through and we clear the entire thing. And by the way, you're also like,

trying to find shit because you're like, this is fun. What the fuck are we going to pull off this target? And there was literally nothing in it other than like a few rugs and some other bullshit in it. But we're like, what's underneath it? There has to be like, you know, what's hidden vaults, what's hidden in here. But it was wild, man. When you got out onto the deck and it overlooked the Euphrates right above the Babel, right around, right, right above Babylon where the, where the recreated ruins of Babylon were, were,

We're in this palace. And then we went, once we cleared it, we went back through and tried to like pull any and all things that we could. So I, I,

you didn't find anything. It had just been completely ripped by all the looters before that. But we did that multiple times, trying to find shit. And some guys, they got really lucky because they were hitting stuff. And one of my buddies was telling me they were like BroCo torching this fucking safe out. And they were thinking like, oh my God, man, we're going to get... They open it up and there's like a Nike shoe in the middle of the floor. Yeah.

But it was wild, man. Like, like I'm telling you, Ferraris and Formula One cars and like any and everything you can think of from like Uday and Cousin and it's just the Husseins in general, they consolidated all the wealth. When we went to the airport, which was the,

the Royal Palace complex in the airport, which is Saddam International Airport. We were one of the first ODAs there. I actually cleared what was called the Saddam International Airport before I turned into... Imagine flying from Reagan International Airport to Saddam International Airport. Yeah, yeah. Cheney did that a few times, I think. Give me that. He kept that, too. We had fucking done that. In the business, we call this foreshadowing. And...

And they had, he had like tigers and zebras. Like the sons had basically a mini zoo, but we also knew like,

they were throwing fucking bodies and shit to the lions. Yeah. And then we were at one of the palaces and there's this big pond and it was beautiful. I mean, this place is like a palatial, no shit like palaces. This isn't drug Lord money. This is like middle Eastern oil money. This is a trillion dollars. So to put it into perspective, what it can buy you is a lot of shit. And we're like, Oh, Hey, let's have fresh fish.

And we're building like C4 fucking bombs to throw in the pond so we could blow up the carp and get them to the surface so we could fucking have like carp dinner and things like that. It's like DOD funded fucking Louisiana fishing. Bro, I'm telling you. Toss a stick of dynamite in that river. Let's see what we get, boss. Get it? Get it? The single...

greatest amount of fun that I've had in my life. Do you ever fish now and just have thoughts back? You're like, nah. It'd be easier with C4 at Saddam's place. I wish. Just clack it. I just want to clack. When you're racing your way into a capital after popping the top off a country, it's fucking wild, man. That was the most Evan Hafer fucking sentence I could have imagined.

when you're russian let's let's not take into consideration any of the ethics or any of the things involved but when you see the american fucking war machine never mind that was the most let's just delete some of this and then just consider like dude that an invasion is the fucking most impressive act of like

like military power you can participate in that is like so impressive. It also terrifies you because if you're on the side, the winning side, which obviously we were, but yeah,

When you see the full might of the American military force, it is fucking like... It is like seeing the power of God. It is truly witnessing it. When you see MLRS and tanks and everything working together as you're all coordinating your effort rolling fucking north, you... I mean, not you, but you can squash the third largest military in the world in a matter of fucking days. And it's...

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There's so many options. The good thing about the long game is you can plan and you're not under a time restraint. It's not based on the incident or something. You don't have to take advantage of the time. You can say, the time that I have is like a year. So then you can play this really long game to where you can just...

Lay the seeds as time unfolds, but you're not like setting your calendar. You're just kind of like, I want to make sure that I'm going to cast a layer of doubt to maybe drive this person insane over the course of 18 to 24 months. Right. That's kind of nice. It's a, it's a gift that keeps on giving.

It's called baggage. She's going to bring it to the next relationship. That's the point. The thing that would bother me more than anything is if I tried that with a girl and then like, let's say 12 months into a 24 month plan, we break up. Right. That would haunt me forever. I have unfinished business on the earth.

Well, that's why you would stay with her until the end. No matter what. No matter what. Ride or die, you've got to finish it. It's okay, suck that guy's dick. You're my ride or die. I need you for 12 more months. I need you for 12 more months. I've got to finish. I have to finish. I'm not done. I'm not done.

Why are you still with me? He's like, you'll find out later. I'm working on something. Say it like that. I'm working on something. Just so happy about it. So what are your big trolls? What is your most glorious troll in your active duty or...

CIA crazy person. Man, that's a good one. I had Tony Cowden. You guys maybe know him or not. He's an SF guy. I worked with him out in Mosul. He was on the podcast. He was there when I lost this bet. I had to donate and I had to wear an Obama shirt in D.C. when we went bar hopping when we got back. I have a picture of me and my buddy sitting there and he's laughing at me

He took the photo at me because they were fucking laughing at me and they thought it was hilarious. By the way, it was hilarious. I don't fucking care what people think because it was hilarious. And then I'm like, all right, well, I have to offset the donation. I better donate to the other side. But I was like, that's a lot of money. Maybe I'll just like donate 400. So if I would have just like been thinking ahead, I'm like, oh, well, maybe 500 cancel it out because in fact,

Fucking 12 years, this might be an issue. No, I guess I wasn't thinking that far ahead. But in Mosul, I had this shirt and I had the whole outfit, but then I added a drop leg holster to it. So I had a drop leg holster. I had two radios. So I had like two radios, drop leg holster, I had some grenades, a helmet. So I'd wear this helmet. I had all this shit. I had a can of Copenhagen like rolled into the sleeve. And

There's a new guy showing up. He's a former SF guy. He'd just gone through CAG selection and done a bunch of other stuff. And he's flying in. He's the only guy coming off the plane.

I pull up to the tarmac and I sit there because I'm like, I can't wait for this fucking guy to get off this plane and see this glorious bastard standing here. The plane is taxing and the pilot is pulling in towards me. And as he turns the plane, he moves his head and he's like, his mouth falls open. That's how fucking stupid I looked. It was amazing. Yeah. The pilot's like, what the fuck? And I,

So Marshall was his name. He walks up. He's like, oh, you my ride? I'm like, I'm your ride. And then I started talking to him. I'm like, so are you like a Navy SEAL or something? Or what do you guys do? Because those SEALs are hot. They're like super hot. Their abs are hot. And he's like, no, I'm a Green Beret. I'm like, what?

Oh, cool. Are they like seals or what are they doing? You know? And, uh, I'm like, but you got to wear your helmet safety first. So I give him this helmet and I give him eye pro. So he's putting on fucking helmet and eye pro. And I tell him, I tell him that I'm the chief of the base. So I tell him I'm in charge of this whole thing.

So he doesn't know. He's never worked for the agency before in his life. He has no fucking clue who I am other than like this dude shows up with a Trap Lake holster, two radios, a hand grenade, and a Hillary for President shirt with a life jacket and a helmet and an eye pro on and talking in a crazy lisp. I'm like, so you like a Navy SEAL? I mean, I see those guys and I'm putting those... And I'm talking, I'm like...

everybody's always out in the yard working out. Like I run these workouts every day, you know, for two hours. Most of the time I'm not working out. I'm just like writing down numbers, making sure guys form is good. That's the way I'm talking to him. And he's like, what the fuck is going on?

And I continue to have, I mean, we're on the base. He has to wear his helmet. So I keep fucking telling him he has to keep, keep his helmet on everywhere we go. I take him to the base. I give him a tour and everybody else in base knows what's going on too. So they, they're read in on this whole thing. They're like, Hey, did you meet chief? Oh, he's an interesting guy, right? He's going to want to talk to you a lot.

Alone. So I go through the whole thing. He's wearing his fucking helmet the entire time with iPro, by the way, on base. And I'm talking to him about all this fucking crazy shit. Which, if you don't know this, when you're like head pro helmet, it is the last thing you want to wear. The last thing. Period overseas. Especially when you're inside the wire. You're like...

oh my fucking god I hate this guy even more that I have to wear these two pieces of equipment this is fucking miserable miserable and it was just some stupid I mean sometimes you would go to different bases they have these rules and you'd hate bureaucrats and making rules so I like go through this entire thing I walk him through the entire base bring him back to the team room and I was like hey man

You really think that I'm the fucking chief of base? He turns to me and he's like, what? He does not compute. I'm like...

I'm just fucking with you. Like, there's no fucking way I'm the chief of base. One, I'm like 30 years old. Two, like, what in the fuck? Do you really? He's like, I don't know. Well, I don't fucking know. And he got so mad. He like throws his fucking gear in the locker, doesn't talk to me for two weeks. And we're on the same team. He won't even fucking talk to me. Won't talk to me. Won't look at me. He's just like, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy.

So it took me like two weeks and then finally I was like, are you still mad about that? He's like, I'm never going to be not mad about that. So serious. Got you bro. Yeah. Gotcha. I fucking nailed that dude. Like pinned. So that was good because it was like multiple hours was a solid three hour play where I really, really had to sell some shit.

And it was fucking, it was hilarious because he got so mad. Well, a lot of those times when you're in those situations, as I've told the story before, it's like yelling at the general. We had General Boozer. He was like a one or two star. And I just yell at him. Like the first time he got in the striker with me, he got up in the hatch. I was like, ah, you're fucking old. What the fuck? And he was like, what? He's like, what? I was like, hi, what was it like fighting with Abraham Lincoln, sir?

And after that, homeboy would not say a goddamn thing to me. He gave me a coin. When he was walking, he had no head cap. He was walking. We were on a cob. He's walking to the chow hall.

And I'm like walking through and I see him walking without his headgear on. I'm like, sir, put your fucking headgear on. He was like, he almost went at ease. And he's like, Quavis, do fucking pushups. What the fuck are you yelling at me for? I'm like, right, sir. I just learned that from a young age. I was like, oh, I just fuck with these people. They'll usually not fuck with me back. This is great. Or I'll just have to do Tim Push-ups, but they'll laugh at me and do everything else. I was like, okay, hang on.

write that note down, close that, save that for later. You find out who's cool. You find out like who your people are that you can communicate with without like a level of seriousness that is just not appropriate for what you're doing. It's like, there's a time to be serious. Trust me. I can be as serious as they, I mean, there's maybe a couple of times where you're like, yeah, I gotta be serious. Most 99% of the time, um,

Like, I try to be a jackass because it's more fun. Like, I try. It's like, it's fucking hilarious. It's like, okay, man, we're moving up on a breach. Like, you know, like, set explosives. Like, I got all the way up until the breach goes off to be fucking fun.

I still got like 10 more seconds before we clack this bitch off. I still got like 10 more seconds, man. I got to get a couple more jokes in. That C4 dick, man. Exactly. Yeah, you get it. Like, oh, look at this. It's a bunny. Set the explosives. Throw it in there. Like, you know, there's plenty of times you can be a complete and utter idiot and have a lot of fun. Like, I mean, and it...

provides a lot of levity to this, to the situation. I had to go scoop, like when, when dudes clock off in front of gates, like somebody has to go pick it up. And when you have a small base, it smells like barbecue. When you have a small base, like it is, it is what it is. Like it's fucking glad bags. And you know, if you're lucky, you get a shovel, but it's like put on your fucking gloves and go, you know, find them, go fucking pick them up.

Those pieces fly far. They do. Yeah, yeah. Like, they do. Like, a lot of people don't realize that. We went... It was on a roof. We found one on a four-story roof. One guy clacked off. We were upstairs looking around. He's like, found it! Hey! Found the head! Look at this! I love how you're just, like, straight up, like, the boombox from Say Anything. Yeah! Yeah, I...

And my buddy, he was like doing something. I can't remember. It was like, had this dude's leg and it was like, this guy's still kicking your ass. And, uh, Jesus. When I like pull back for a second, I'm like, if you've not experienced this, we do sound kind of fucked up. I don't know. You guys tell me. It is what it is. We're a bad judge. It's not. Yeah. People, people think this is like some kind of like, you know,

movie and they get to like shoot everything and do all this really cool stuff and then they don't have to like clean up the fucking mess well okay man yeah you there's still a lot of cleanup that has to take place which fucking sucks but

I always wanted one. I just wanted one sector where it was like when you deploy and you just did war, they made the soldiers collect their brass after a while. Because that was my biggest fear going over there. It's like, do we have to pick up brass over there? Because they teach you, you have to pick up all brass. It's part of the contract. Lake City needs to reload all this shit. So, you know. Yeah.

Seas fire everybody clean up your brass blown up there making them The faster you get this soldier the faster we get you to the hospital It's just attached to a skin it's like gum Oh it's like a tape strip Oh

Just using his arm as a tape strip. Crispy, we love you. Thank you for your service. Sincerely. Yeah. That's amazing. Brandon's now an honorary vet thanks to that episode. You guys fucking suck. Dude, all the memes that people... Eli decided to make my life very difficult and make me very uncomfortable. So we did a Veterans Day episode and the entire time he's trying to get a frame on camera of him pinning his purple heart to me. And I'm like,

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get that shit the fuck away from me. No, no, no. He's like, oh, yeah. So when were you deployed? What did you, like, don't you even fucking start with me right now? So we were thanking him for his service, all this. And then after Reddit has a heyday, YouTube's thanking him for his service now. Reddit is- On my comment section. No way. And then Reddit is posting him with a medal of honor.

Like they're doing good Photoshop jobs. Oh my God, that's awesome. They're putting purple hearts on it. I have people in my comment section making up my fucking combat history and

All my deployments every day. I'm like, guys, you... One episode of Brandon's Malibu. We gotta do this. This is so good. That's too Evan. This is so good. I was like, yeah. I didn't think Reddit would take it to the level. I was like, oh, God, they're having a heyday with this one. Yeah. As soon as I showed up that day, I'm like, man, I know why I'm here.

This is, I'm part of the bit. I stood up, walked across, pulled my purple heart out of its box. I was like, this is for you, Brandon. You got about getting close. I'm like, I'm not wearing that thing. We're talking about Clit Romache and how he just carries his and his.

Dude. Well, he gave it to Rich and Rich wore it around for like two hours. Did you hear that story? Yeah. Am I not supposed to say it? No, we told it all. Oh my God, it's awesome. Dude, so hilarious because like seeing him walk around with an MOH like Rich being rich with an MOH.

Oh my God. That guy is a fucking national treasure. Like, I don't know of too many people that are more funny than that guy. That's one that hands down one of the funniest dudes you will ever meet. I don't know. I don't know a single other person that I've ever met that has that sort of natural, funny energy and just that, that just the amount of energy he has without drugs. No, never met one.

He's just, and now he tore into the office. He might be on drugs though, I don't know. Well, he gets drug tested. Oh, well. So he says. So he says. Lame. Cody, is that true or not? I've seen Bad Lieutenant. I know what they fucking do.

He's a lieutenant now? Detective. Yeah, he got a lieutenant detective. Yeah, he ended up getting promoted. Did you see the picture? He's been doing his squats. Oh, with his. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rich is all caked up in it, man. He's wearing like super tight pants and he's like swearing into his new position. All the comments. All the comments. It's him getting sworn in.

I like this. It should be like congratulations. Everyone's like, that ass though. Damn, boys. Cake emojis all over the place. Goddamn, officer dump truck, you can kneel on my neck anytime. That was great. That was good.

Holy shit. So you were just on Joe Rogan. How was that experience? You're actually friends. That was a hell of a segment. That was a hell of a segment. That's what I do. From that joke to Joe Rogan. Well, they had a couple jokes like that at the comedy mothership. It was fucking wild. You're just over there trying to chase that monetization icon back. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, that's the third time. Third time I've done it. We'll see. I mean, we'll see how it goes. Like, I...

If I have a lot of coffee, I can be like, I go full blackout mode. I was saying a lot of weird shit about like how stupid communism is and like how it's a failed ideology and you just need to like,

like eliminate it from the globe. Like, you know, why, why do you even try? It's just, it should be illegal. So I was just like, eh. One coffee later. I'm like, meh. You know, talking about like, failed political ideologies and political. Yeah. One coffee later. One coffee later. We were talking about, I think we started the entire thing talking about, oh, there's like,

We were talking about this morning. I started the whole thing talking about like, I read this statistic where 16% of the American population is below an 85 IQ, which doesn't make them, it excludes them from military service because they don't have a job. And considering how big the military is, there's not a job for them to do. So when you think about like 40 plus million people, like, okay, well, that's a lot of people.

How does that impact... 40 million people, that's 15% of the total populace in the United States. That's what he was saying with that. I heard Jordan Peterson talk about that. He's just like, yeah, that is...

the minimum IQ for you to be able to do anything in the military without it being a detriment to the military more so than you're serving. Yeah, and they're terrifying. And that's a good chunk of the population. You're so dumb, they won't let you get shot. Or clean the toilet. And they don't consider it ethical. They can't put you in the military because if you have below a certain IQ...

you can't go to war. So they're being nice to the special kids. Yeah. Okay. And I think that's how we kicked it off. And we're talking for, you know, quite a while. And it was, it was fun. Like I like Joe and this is not like, you know, like I I've been friends with him now for a few years. He's really, really fun to hang out with. And I mean, he's just a fucking cool guy. I know everybody says that everybody's like, Oh, you know, but he is like, we, we hunt together and,

And we mainly talk about hunting and, you know, we talk a lot of archery. We talk a lot about whatever, but yeah, he's, he's a lot of fun. Like just period, just like you would think he is. He's a fucking comedian. He is funny, but he's also like hardworking. He has that drive behind him, which I think we all gravitate towards. Like, yeah,

That's why I love this group of people. It is the drive that is behind them. It's not making excuses like, I want to grow. I want to continue to create. I want to continue to grow. I want to make businesses. I want to do whatever. And you're like, fuck, it's motivating. Yes, it's so fucking motivating to be around.

That's what I like about Joe is that he's not like people try to cancel him for the people he's got on or like the, the, the positions he takes. He's not the guy with the answers, but he's a really fucking good interviewer and he knows what questions to ask. And he's just genuinely curious. He just wants to learn more shit. And he'll never bet any at, he'll say that out front. It's like, Hey, I'm not an expert in this. I am a comedian that runs a podcast that likes fighting and,

I'm the interview factor guy. Yeah. And he's like, I don't take my word for science. Like that's what these guys are for. I'm just interviewing, which if you shit on somebody for interviewing random people, that's on you, Joe Rogan. No, no, I, I, there's so many different shows and there's so many different people have been on that. Like,

just listening. And I mean, three hours for a podcast is like, that's a lot either way, but there's such a wide variety of people that show up there. It's hard not to be entertained by who he's got on the show. And if he can unpack certain, you know, ideas or whatever it might be, you get a little bit more insight into some of these people and what they're saying. Like, I think it's, I think, you know, podcasters in general, you know,

are fucking amazing for that because you can get information out. You can talk to a wide variety of people. You can get different perspectives and, you know, not to be too serious, but it's fucking awesome because mainstream media is dog shit. Like it's, it's dog shit. It's formatted. It's owned by advertisers. You can't say anything like it's, it's just so bad. And thank God we, I mean,

Thank God we got something like these things. Podcasts are one of the only forms of consuming media we have left in 2023 that's actually long form, not ADD, not clipped up into eight seconds. It's actual long form content that you can actually just

put your entire mental focus into, or, you know, put on in the background, whatever, but it's, it's long, long form content. So you can actually have discussions that, you know, are meaningful and not just drive by intellectualism or whatever. Which I like. And we were talking about that with, um, Cody was the weightlifter guy. You were, Oh, Sam Sulik. Sam Sulik. It's this new, a,

So like a new age of entertainment where you see these YouTubers like Sam are popping off gain 2 million in a single year. And it's long form, slow digestible content. That's not fast cuts, no thumbnails, nothing crazy. But now these dudes are taking the fuck off. So we're seeing if it's this new, new wave where people want this style of content. I mean,

It's interesting. That's why I love it. I'm like, huh, mine's just working now. It's like Charlie, too, man. Voice critical. He doesn't have cuts. That man will sit and talk for 15, 20, 30 minutes, no cuts, and still interesting as fuck. Talk like this the entire time. I've never noticed that about his stuff. He might have one cut or two cuts every couple videos, but there are some times he'll sit there for 20 minutes and just talk. I don't know how I never noticed that. You've never? Yeah, Charlie doesn't cut, bro. To be fair, I don't watch a lot of his content, but every once in a while I'll click on something he's done. I never noticed that.

Yeah, who do you guys watch outside of, like, you watch his channel, you watch his channel, that's it? God, you guys are so hot, too. Sam Shulick and Brandon. I like you both just pointed at each other. When you guys watch and you both do it like that, I'm like...

I can't wait for the marriage episode. According to the unsubreddit, and the podcast, I guess we are getting married. I watch his stuff. I watch Corridor Digital, Meet Canyon. Dude, Papa Me. Dude, Papa Me. Have you not watched Papa Me? I literally just pulled it up when you guys were talking about it earlier. His editor, Nick...

Oh, you know his editor? Yeah. Hook us up. Seriously, the way they do retention beats and comedy beats and everything is really like hats off to him. It's very well done. It's amazing, dude. The thumbnails are... I know, like everything. Man, I just get so... I'm like, oh. But it motivates you for watching what works and understanding why it works. I'm like, okay, we got to do the same thing because his channel now, he's doing what? Half a mil to a mil per upload easy on his...

Yeah, what he was telling me, too, is Hunter Mikan, he loves doing the second channel. And that's why you see him putting like four videos a week out on there. Because like when he does main channel stuff, he gets like five million views, ten million views, whatever. Once a month. So much fucking work. Whereas his second channel, he just gets to he's an organically funny person. Oh, and he gets to just be himself on camera. And that that's so conducive to just like a creative mind.

It's awesome. And he uses his voices in the Papa Meat, too. And then him and...

A Wendigoon starting their podcast, which I'm super stoked. Wendigoon's starting two podcasts. Yeah, Wendigoon's got one with Charlie now, too, speaking of Charlie. Yeah. Yeah, it's Wendigoon and Charlie, and then, yeah, Papa Meat and Wendigoon have one coming out. We need to get him back on the podcast. Oh, he... He talked to me last night. He said he would love to come down and be on this podcast again, so Papa Meat coming soon. Oh, both? Oh, yeah, we'll get Wendigoon and Papa Meat. Which one, Wendigoon or Papa Meat? All of them. All of them want to come down. Do you know Wendigoon? Meat Canyon's coming down? Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. That's, you know...

Everyone's got easier. Let's come I love it do Wendigo and if you've never watched Wendigo and he is one of the most well-spoken Again, I do that blew up in two years. No cuts this dude used an iPhone for his first million subscribers To which he made about me. Yeah, call me beats here brand I still love that joke Five hour long videos

Five hour long. And they get like in three days, dude, Blood Meridian, he did a book review that was three hours or five hours long. You told me about Blood Meridian actually. We were at the shop. Yeah. He did a review on Blood Meridian. It wasn't really a review. It was like a summary. Like he was going through, he would read sections of the book and it was like kind of like a quarter of the audio book essentially. But just like he would summarize things and talk about the deeper meanings and whatnot. It was so fucking good. Three million views in like two days. And it's five hours long.

fucking hours. He's a great storyteller. Like, he's just a very, very talented storyteller. Yeah, when you have him like... He's gonna be massively uncomfortable. We're saying all this about him, by the way. Dude, him and Hunter, did you watch? They're like trying to compliment each other. Yeah. And so I have that gun that comes out like...

That team, they have it going on. I'm so excited for what they come up with. You have to check out Wendigoon. Yeah, I mean, I'll listen to this podcast or watch it, I don't know, every other week. No, no. Most of the time it's like if you guys are on it, then I'll listen to it or I'll watch it. It's about to be a lot more. It's a lot more.

I didn't know Fat Electrician literally until he was on Unsub. And then I got turned on to his channel. I was like, that's a fucking great channel. The guy's amazing. That's another guy who I don't miss. Yeah, I don't miss his videos. He's awesome. His videos are great. The guy's clearly articulate. He understands the information he's putting out. It's fucking awesome. And he makes it fun. He makes it so much fun. Because as he said, he's like, historians die.

miss that element, that human element to the story. So he adds in, he finds that he uncovers and he adds that to the story and you get to watch like his, um,

Who's the crazy vet from World War II? McNasty. Sliding down. Such a good video. We could rename this part of the podcast Unsub Talks About Itself. This is how great we are, guys. This is about all the great shit we do. All the great guests we're going to have. I was actually going to ask you though. Let's say you go on Unsub or you go on Rogan or you go on something like that.

Do you go back and watch yourself on it? No, I despise watching myself in most anything other than skits. I watch the skits because it's funny.

Not them. I hate watching myself too, man. I have to sometimes just to review the video the first time. I'll watch it one time and be like, all right, video's good to go. Push it out. But I won't go back and watch my shit. I'm like a masochist because I'll go back and watch it every time and I don't enjoy it. I watch it to be critical of myself. It's a game play or something. Yeah. But I have to go back and watch it. I'll watch it thinking about how other people that I know are going to watch it and how they would react to it. It's kind of weird.

I've tried. I've tried to go back because there are things that I don't like about my speech where, you know, I'll use, that was perfect, you know. I use that, I don't know, too many times. So it's a pause in the conversation instead of saying, you say, you know, or something like that. I really wish Elon would close the door of the bathroom before he'd just, you know, take a piss. He used the fucking, the man silencer. Yeah. Yeah.

But I should probably watch more just so I can tighten whatever I'm saying up, just fucking tighten it up because most of the time I just babble. We're all good at that. Yeah, thank God for jump cuts. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God for G-Van. What a cock on that guy, by the way. Real nice man. Real nice man. All the way around. Very round. Yeah.

Just makes him sound fat. Fat cock. Oh, well, there you go. The fattest of the penis. Okay, there we go. I can't watch any of my own stuff. I've never watched a single episode of Unsubscribe. Not a single one. I haven't either. I'll be completely honest. I've never watched Unsubscribe before. I love you guys. Because I have to, I don't know. For me, the feedback is helpful. I don't remember the majority of Unsubscribes we've done. That's true.

Well, for one reason or the other. You're still sober until tomorrow. I've got tomorrow, guys. Today is the 29th, so I have one more day of sobriety. It's been 25 days now, I think. Damn. Yeah.

Dude, look how jacked you got though. Look how many videos came out. If you want to know Cody's weakness, it's alcohol. I like alcohol. God damn. Six Tito's bottles sitting over there. We're prepping up. I just like Cody's kryptonite. He's like, give me the kryptonite. Oh, there we go. There we go. He takes kryptonite. He's like, I made 12 videos and millions of dollars this month. Time to get drunk again.

Time to go back to two videos a month. That's not going to have any lasting implications with the comment section of your videos. Cody's not uplading. Get out of the gutter.

Say hi to Eli. And it's just him again. It just goes right back. I'm like, oh, no. It's like the GTA wasted on both of us. Like, just, yeah, we get canceled immediately. Our editor leaks all our shit. I said something on Twitter yesterday. The canceling hit me a little bit. Wait, what happened?

You know the new Fallout live action is coming out? I didn't watch the trailer. Was the trailer good or bad? I don't know. So Fallout's a video game. It's a video game that takes place... It's basically about modern day New Mexico. That got nuked.

No, it's just modern day Mexico. Poverty ridden, just fucking hellhole, yeah. So where there's mutants, just replace it, or Mexicans replace it with mutants, and now you have the story from Fallout. Okay, yeah, yeah. Just a lot of gun violence and double wides in the middle of the desert, and that's Fallout New Vegas. Sounds fun. Oh, I hate that's what it is. Evan, do we ever tell you about Swagger Souls coming out here and shooting at the range with us? No, huh? You know Swagger? Yeah.

He has a radio voice and he wears a knight's helmet all the time in his videos. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, he's got the really great voice. He came out here and he picked out a bunch of guns from Brandon's AK place and we took him to the range that you guys had. He was operating all of them perfectly. Some of the stuff that Brandon didn't even know how to do

Yeah, really obscure shit. Yeah. Like stuff that when I bought it, I didn't quite know like how to extend the stock on because like the calico or whatever, just shit that doesn't... It's not normal gun stuff. Right. But flawlessly. Yeah, it turns out like he was in Australia with the rest of his gaming crew that he runs around with during the height of COVID when they wouldn't let you out of the house and you had to have like a ticket and check in and you got...

an hour a day outside. No one else could be around like all that crazy shit. So he was playing VR and there were a couple of VR games with guns in them. And he learned how to operate every single fucking firearm through VR video games. And I guess they're spot on. Cause he came over and was just killing it, man. I was impressed. He's like, yeah, I've shot a gun a couple of times. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? It was, it was impressive. Even the boys last week, they they've shot maybe one time before and they cleared the Texas tree.

The Texas Star cleared it the first time. Really? With your race gun, though. Yeah, but that's still, yes, it's the race gun. But they still, first time without missing, they're like, tink, tink, tink, tink. So where did they get it? Their main content is VR. VR. Literal VR training is all they're doing. But that makes sense. The military has been taking notes on this shit for so long. They're like, oh, Jesus Christ, what?

We're just getting that quick information pieces in there do that shit's crazy funny when they turned around though cuz like one of them like missed one But literally like six shots cleared a five-star. He's just like oh damn. I missed one and he turned around We're just like yeah, no, that's good. That's The gun they're like they're just handing it off cuz then they don't know what they don't know you're like yeah Oh, this is fucking great. You're safe. You're terrifyingly accurate with never shooting a firearm before VR works

Now I get to clear it. This is great. And then no fear shooting any of the guns either. And now all you like VR fucks who've never shot a gun before, all right, calm down. You're not John Wick. Or are you? Or are you? Take the ulcer service weapon. That's your message? Make sure you take that thing. You pay taxes, it's yours. Let's be honest. If you play VR, you don't pay taxes.

So Evan, let's hear some moto shit from you to motivate. Moto? Yeah, I want it motivational, Evan. It's one of my favorite things. Guys, one of my favorite sayings I learned from this man was, we don't, we, you,

You don't work for us. We work for you at the end of the day. Everything we do isn't for our own benefit. It is to benefit you guys. It is to motivate you guys. It is to make you laugh, smile, because you provide us with these opportunities to do these amazing things. That's why I like... Until it's time to joke about firing you. Yeah, yeah. Boom. And then you don't know. 50-50. 50-50. What was it like getting... Because you are...

I respect the shit out of you of what you've done in that space. Cause you come from green beret. Thank you for your service. Special forces, my to the CI doing all that stuff. And then, um, and now during that CIA, not CI, he wasn't a rat. Yeah. It was three letter. Ah, no, I mean, I left that world. I,

10 years ago now, so I'm fairly out. Yeah, but you were like, hey, now I'm going to learn coffee during, and that's where, that's your autism power. You're like, I like coffee. It's just whatever I'm into. Like, it doesn't really matter. I'm into coffee. I've been into coffee since 1997, which is quite a while. I started roasting it. Autistic that you know the fucking day. I've been roasting it for, since 2006-ish, and it was a hobby. I would come home and I was,

like I would concentrate on the Rs, which is like R&R is a term that we used to use all the time, but it was like reading, running, roasting, like these are the things that I would do. And my wife actually had a coffee shop in Denver. She was a coffee person. She's also, she's an ultra runner. When we connected, it was like, well, I'm going to build a coffee shop. When did you meet her along the way? 2012. 2012.

So 2012, we met. She was at this cool coffee shop in Denver. What game did you spit?

Like zero. I mean, I don't have a lot. Like, you like coffee? I like coffee. Well, cool. We should go coffee sometime. She's like, we're in a coffee shop, dumbass. Like, you want coffee? I just picture you being like, I want to have sex with you. Yeah, yeah. You titties nice. We're in a coffee shop, but I see you're without children. You look like you're single. What's that mean? What? Espresso, please.

It smells like you're ovulating. You look like you might be so horny you're blind. Is that true? 20% of the time it works every time. But it's everything that I get into. I just like sink 100% of whatever I have into it because it's... I can't help myself. I have to like...

I say this thing, it's like the more you peel the onion, the more it makes you cry at times because the more that you get into the details of things, the more interesting it becomes.

And coffee is very much like that. And I don't want to go too far into coffee because we'll lose the entire audience because they're going to be like, fuck off. Like I'm done, done with this conversation. But it's the same thing. Like being in commando or trying to be a commando or doing those things. Like you have to be an artisan of the craft and it's anything that you do. Like I think everybody here, you guys are creators. I'm,

I'm creative. Everybody's creative. Well, how do you become the best at what you're doing? I have no interest in being average. Like that's not, it's not a thing that I aspire to because I'm, I'm average, but I'm trying to run the whole machine in the red, right? It's, um, you know, maybe above average IQ with, you know, five, 760 pounds. Like I got to run the machine in the red all the time. And I'm

I don't have the ability to run it at 75 or 50% because if I do, that means I'm 75 or 50%, which isn't good enough. It drives me fucking bananas. And so for me, it's actually not to get too fucking deep, but there's, what is it?

Eudaimonia. Eudaimonia is this term that actually it was phrased from Greek mythology and Greek philosophy more appropriately. And if you follow the footsteps from the roots of Western philosophy into what we're doing now, when you're talking about your purpose, your mission, and defining who you are with virtue and courage, and when you start to take really deep

heavy pieces of wisdom out of that. And when I look at wisdom, justice, and we're balancing those two things with the ability to plug in courage on top of that, you've got this very powerful

specific playbook that has been templated over thousands of years and it's been pressure tested over thousands of people that have been more intelligent than me that have been born into different and worse circumstances and they've been able to accomplish much more so I try to go to this this point which is you pneumonia is

striving to be, to accomplish very difficult things for the action of fulfillment and happiness through accomplishing very difficult things. So finding happiness and fulfillment through accomplishing things that you don't necessarily think that you can do, but then building confidence in the action. And, uh, that's one of the things I've, I've just done my entire adult life is, Hey, I'm

If I fail, what's the worst? We're all headed to the same place. Not to address mortality, but we're all headed to the same place. The finish line for us is we're all going to be equalized at the end. So we've got to get everything we can out of the short amount of time that we're here. And if we don't,

We're doing it to serve us to the opportunity that's been given it to us. It's, we've been born into this incredible country, not to go on a political ramp, but like, man, this is truly the land of opportunity. We can drive ourselves to be what we want to be. And if we don't take advantage of that opportunity, we're wasting our lives.

So for me, I'm ringing the sponge. That's all I'm doing. I'm like, I'm going to get every fucking ounce out of this thing. So TLDR, you're going to die one day, do rad shit. Yes. Yeah. It's like nothing separates you from like, everyone is a human at the end of the day. Genghis Khan, he grew, dude was a step kid. Nothing. Just like a fucking poor ass person. A lot of people, uh,

The greats throughout history have been nothing that rose to that. Rose through the ranks and became one of the world's greatest

Yeah, exactly. And now we're related to it. Everyone has a dream, dude. Everyone has a dream. Greatness is in your fingertips. He wanted to cure global climate change, so he killed a majority of the populace to do that. But as you were saying, everyone has that chance to do something great or to actually try in their expertise or something that they gravitate towards. Just a lot of people don't do that because they're uncomfortable. Yeah.

Second, people get uncomfortable. You will see people quit. Uncomfortability is Jim is waking up each day and being like, hey, I remember when I moved to Utah, when we all moved, we literally everyone moved to Utah the first time and you had taken out credit debt just to get Black Rifle going at that time.

It didn't start off, if it wasn't handed, like $2 billion. It's like, can you go? It has a logger. Yeah. It has a logger. Like, if I didn't build it, like, there was nobody writing me a check.

But, and that's the thing. It was that knowing the circumstance, understanding the risks and then being motivated enough to pull through those trials and tribulations. Like, Hey, I'm going to make this happen no matter what. Same for Cody, same for Brandon. Everyone's done that. Something that I've also like notices. And I think this is just the way that men are wired is it's not necessarily like you accomplishing your goal is not what drives you. It's not what gets you out of bed in the morning. It's, it's,

It's not what gives you a dopamine, serotonin, whatever. It's being on the journey and knowing that you are succeeding at the goal and not having succeeded. Because once you hit that goal, you're just lost. Yeah. So you find the next goal. It's the next mission. Yeah. You'll never be happy after you hit a goal. You're happy when you're doing a good job at getting to that goal. That chase. That's what I find the most invigorating. It's like, fuck, this has to come together now.

And I have to continue because I'm not going to let it fail. I'll hit my speed bumps. I'll hit my failures, but I will make sure that goal hits its market. Dude, that hit me hard. Like as soon as I got to the point where I considered myself successful, as far as, you know, I did the thing I wanted to do since I was like 15, 16. I'm a big gun tuber YouTuber. I'm making all this money. I'm doing all this stuff, whatever. Like, dude, I felt the most empty. I didn't know where to go. Congress. Yeah.

This is what we do on 4chan. It's like goal, achievement, unlocked. While that's something I do actually genuinely care about, I think that's something that is important that needs to be done. That does prove the point of like, dude, you have to always have that next thing. You need to have a bigger thing, a thing that you think is a goal worth accomplishing that you are on your way toward. If you don't have that, who are you?

I truly believe that. What if your dad wanted to give you a loan, but he's like, this motherfucker gave me a snake. That's true.

It's very true. Hey, son, open this cooler. I got a loan for you. Hey, there's some cash in there, Evan. Why don't you check that out? I was like, cobra is stabbing the bitch. Yeah, bitch. Oh, dad, I chose a non-venomous snake. This was like a bull snake. I think it's so important. I think it's facing the days with courage and understanding that

You know, your immortality, which is one of the things I've truly...

I guess I've been blessed with is I'm thinking about your death every day for, you know, I mean, I still do quite a bit, but like every day and sometimes, you know, minute to minute, sometimes second to second at times, it's really puts your life into perspective as to what matters. How do you triage your time? How do you prioritize against what you're doing? What do you want out of life? The hard part about transitioning is,

Not the way that we're, but transitioning out of the military. Not in the new fallout way. Yeah, not in the new fallout. Follow me on Twitter. It's like your purpose. Like how do you define your next mission, your purpose, you know, from the essence of your being? I think a lot of people struggle with that. And I think a lot of people struggle

if they would just get over their, their fear, you know, address life with more, with more courage and perseverance and say, failure is great because through failure, you're going to fucking grind yourself into moon dust. You're going to eliminate ego and say, well, eventually if I keep trying, I will succeed at whatever it is. It doesn't fucking matter what I'm talking about. It's like, Hey, I'm going to keep moving. I'm going to keep trying. I love building skills that take like decades because it's,

It takes like ounces equal pounds. You keep chipping away and you keep chipping away and you're never done. You're never done until like the lights go out. And to be fair, I don't know exactly what, you know, I don't think anybody really can tell you exactly what's going to happen. So it's like, I'm just trying to get everything I can out of the time that we are, but the time that we're here and yeah.

I mean, I fucking love it. Like, like this is, this is a rad experience from my, from, from my point of view. And I'm just not willing to say I'm going to waste it, like waste a second of it. I'll find myself at times where I'm like in the last 10 years or so where you, you get down or you get fucking depressed. Everybody does, right? They go through peaks and valleys of their life. And 99% of the time, what gets me out and the things that work for me are like,

Not to be morbid, but it's like, I know a ton of dudes that would fucking replace me like this. And they're, they aren't here. Like some of those guys aren't here right now. So one of the things that I do every night and every morning that I'm home is like, my kids get,

every hug that I can put into my family, right? Every hug I can put back into my kids. Like I tell them I love them. I tell them that I care about them. I read them stories. I spend every second of my time with them because there's that, there's this person that represents some of my best friends that have been either killed in combat or taken their own lives afterwards that

And they're not here to do that. And I guarantee if they were here to do that today, they would fucking do it. And it keeps me honest. It keeps me driven and focused. It keeps me plugged in the right place. And also keeps me from getting depressed because I'm like, dude, I can't, I got to keep my head in the game. Got to keep my head in the game. I got to get positive. I got to plug in. And what I've been telling people is like, it's positive fuel. I'm not here to be a motivational speech or give you a motivational speech, but it's like, you got people that are going to broker and toxic fuel and

You got people that are going to broker in positive fuel. I'm only trying to plug in positive fuel. And so that's kind of my drive. It's like positive fuel, keep working, find things that you love. And I've also said like, it's not good enough for you just to be passionate about something because yeah, you can be passionate about it, but you have to be so driven and passionate about something that when

The weight of the world is ground you into what you think is emotional fucking moon dust. You can grab whatever it is that you love out of that bag and plug it in for power to dig you back out of that hole. And if you don't have it, then you need to go on a search to find it. I think I'm going to go home and work out. Yeah.

On that statement, we're just going to fucking end it and move to the after show. That was fucking beautifully said. If you guys want to check out the after show, come check it out. Cody, come sign us out.

All right, everyone. You're doing great. I'm reflecting on fucking all this information that happened. I know. I'm like, oh my God. I can't even make a dick joke. I can. I was going to scream cum again, but not now. If you guys, for some reason, respect us, just look at how we're reacting to that information. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well,

Well, everyone, that was the unsubscribe podcast. We were joined today by Eli DoubleFap, God Emperor of BRCC Evan Hafer, and Brandon Herrera. And our boy, Cody. Donut Operator.

Where can we find you, Mr. Evan? At evanhafer.com or whatever. No, at Evan Hafer. That's basically like where you can find me. That's kind of what I do. And your podcast? Yeah, my podcast is Black Ruffle Coffee Podcast. I kind of run that. I talk to a lot of vets. Mostly right now what I'm talking about is a lot of philosophy because I think it can help a lot of people that are a little bit lost. So I've been talking a lot about philosophy

and mission and how do we really focus the subculture of bets around redefining what we do. Yeah. It's really good stories too because you're talking to some of the coolest individuals possible. Dude, I got the coolest individuals and then us. Yeah, and then fucking shitbags like us. Just complete shitbags. Awesome, guys. Go check us out on the fucking after show. Kisses.